#hayfield soundtrack

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Impossible things

(Hayffie 💙. For months I’ve been wanting to write about a Hayffie breakup, but I didn’t have language that felt authentic to me. Sensuality, angst, and playfulness are just pieces of the complex dynamic that makes them interesting to me. I see them stuck for years in dysfunctional relating, full of emotional highs and lows, struggling together and suffering even more when apart.)

***

Effie knew it wouldn’t take long for her return to the Capitol to become a curiosity of the press. Even with the passage of time and without her old facades, she was still quite recognizable. Her moving to 12 had been regarded as everything from sensational and romantic to scandalous and foolish.

She was prepared for the question when it came. Her cards were committed to memory.

“Can you tell us about your split from Haymitch Abernathy?”

She responded as she’d rehearsed, “I gave the relationship my best. But when it was hurting more to be in than out, I had to do something. I was losing myself. I had to stop and find myself again."

***

Haymitch sat in the dark with the screen flickering, tuned to the channel she’d watched sometimes. Her showing up on screen, right there in front of his face, wasn’t a surprise. If he was being honest with himself, he’d acknowledge that’s why he had the damn thing on most evenings since she’d left — wondering if he’d catch a glimpse of her.

Between his fingers, he twirled her hairpin — the one he’d kept for years. The twirling was a trick he’d learned with coins. While most people around him had been starving, he’d had enough coins to fuck around with and let them fall between the floorboards. That was a long time ago.

He clenched the clip in his hand, hard enough for the decorative metal to cut into his palm. He crossed the room in three angry steps and hurled the thing out the window.

“No comment!” He yelled at the screen. “You were supposed to tell those bastards ‘No comment!’”

When reporters had come knocking earlier, Haymitch hadn’t given them the satisfaction of hearing even those words. He just slammed the door in their faces.

Effie’s eyes were concealed under dark glasses, and he was as pissed about not being able to see them as much as he was pissed about her words to the reporter. Her hair was blowing in the wind. She caught a lock of it and tucked it behind her ear. Her lips were shiny pink like the flesh of white peaches.

Losing herself? He didn’t understand why that was a bad thing. She’d said it weeks before she’d left, and he brushed it off then. She was always complaining about something.

Losing himself was his OBJECTIVE not his complaint. He’d been doing that most of his life in alcohol. And for years, he’d been losing himself in her — her lips, her hair, her eyes, her body. Life had been less intolerable that way — being lost. Ah, hell. With her, life was better than tolerable. It was even good sometimes. She’d made it good.

But she’d been hurting?? For how long? She’d never said it in those words, and now she was telling the whole country.

***

The call that came through after the interview aired could have been anyone. “No doubt Mother has prepared a diatribe of the ways I’ve disgraced the family.”

When Effie answered, the extended silence told her the person there wasn’t her mother. The deep breath he took filled more than her ears. Her hands started shaking, and she tried to keep her voice steady. “...What do you want, Haymitch?”

Frustration throbbed in his head. The silence between them was more deafening than anything they might otherwise be screaming at each other.

“...We agreed to leave one another alone.” Her voice was everything but steady.

“We agreed to tell the press, ‘No comment,” he seethed.

“We agreed to spend our lives together. Obviously we don’t have a great track record with keeping our agreements.”

“You’re the one who left.”

“You’re the one who made me feel invisible — and insane.”

“Invisible? You make yourself impossible not to see! And insane?? Your feelings aren’t my responsibility.”

“Impossible?? You have at least a dozen ways of not looking, not listening, and not caring about what matters to me.”

“Just because I’m not paying attention to *The High Priestess* every second doesn’t mean I’m not caring.”

“That’s not what I mean. That’s not my expectation.”

“Then what DO you mean? Because it’s been a month, and I still don’t get it!”

“I gave up EVERYTHING for you!”

“Don’t put that on me! Your choices aren’t my responsibility either. If me and the kids weren’t part of ‘everything,’ then why’d you even come here and stay?”

Her voice softened. “That’s not what I meant. And you know why I stayed.”

“Tell me.”

“Damn it, Haymitch, you KNOW why.”

“Say it anyway. ...You say every other fucking thing a hundred times.”

“Fine! It was the curtains.”

That wasn’t the answer he was expecting.

“...The little flowers on the curtains I hung in our— in your bedroom. I imagined those flowers opening when the sun came up, and I wanted to be there every day to see them. I wanted all the words you said to me when you talked in your sleep.”

“What words? What’d I say?”

“You weren’t awake, so why does it matter?”

“Since we’re through, what’s the point in not telling me?”

“We’re going round in circles, like always. You exhaust me!”

“If you’re exhausted and you were hurting here, then it’s better that you’re gone.”

She hesitated. “IS it better?”

It’s hell, he didn’t say. “It’s pointless to be living a life that hurts. If you’re not hurting now, then you ought to be where you are.”

“Who says I’m not hurting?”

“ARE you?”

“Are YOU?”

“This is ridiculous. Forget I called—“

“You told me not to leave! When you were sleeping. You gripped my arm and murmured the reasons I should stay. So many mornings you did that while I imagined those flowers opening. THAT’S why I stayed so long.”

“Effie...”

“But I can’t keep living off of unconscious words. I’ve been lost in something that isn’t even real.”

“Not real?! Just because I don’t say it all when I’m conscious doesn’t mean it ain’t real.”

“Well you seem conscious now, so tell me what’s real.”

He got quiet. She always wanted him to talk about the feelings he drank to avoid. He waited for her to push him, but she just let the silence get bigger until it was pushing out from inside his chest.

“My hand is bleeding.”

“What?... Why?”

“I was holding your hairpin so tight the damn thing cut me. ...I hurt so bad that there aren’t words for it.”

“Haymitch...”

“I don’t know how to give you what you want.”

“I’ll be damned if it’s your hand that’s hurting beyond words. Why do you do that!? Why don’t you just tell me what you’re really feeling?”

“I just did! You knew who you were making a life with. Why expect me to be different now?”

She didn’t answer. The silence between them grew so pregnant that something needed to either be born right then or die.

“I love you.” She said the words he’d expected earlier.

“Me loving you in the way I do isn’t enough for you. ...And that’s bullshit.”

She was crying now. “This separation is killing me.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“Because my needs aren’t bullshit. ...More hours than not, I was in that bed alone while you were passed out somewhere else. Those flowers opening was a fantasy.”

“I wanna be in that bed with you now. It’s OURS. ...Damn it. I hate this.”

“I hate this too. Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to pass that train every day and not get on it? But if I come home, our clothes will be off before we’ve even said a word. Our bodies will be saying a thousand things and fixing nothing at all. I’ll go from flying... to feeling certain we can make a life together... to feeling uncertain... to feeling that it’s impossible... to being completely deflated. Until the tension gets to be too much, and we’ll try to fix it again with sex. And it’ll be so good, so impossibly good that I’ll be flying and the cycle will start all over. That’s a roller coaster, Haymitch, not a life. I need to find my life again.”

Tears were welling up in his head, and if he didn’t end the call right then, she was gonna hear them in his voice. And if she did, she’d get on the train, and she’d be in his arms. He knew all that was true. — And she’d just gone into painful detail about why that wasn’t the right choice for her.

“Listen, I’ve gotta go. There’s something I need to do. I’m sorry for not leaving you alone like you wanted.”

“Haymitch—“ A click and a long tone told her he’d ended the call. She knew too well the sound of him shoving down his feelings. He was trying not to cry, and he was failing. The picture of him in her mind was so clear, and she could hardly stand not being with him. She wanted him like that. It was exactly how she wanted him, sliced open with his feelings showing. She felt desperate to call him back, but she knew he wouldn’t answer.

***

If forgetting her was something he could have done, then he would have headed to the liquor cabinet and drunk himself into the unconscious state that he apparently used to pour out the contents of his heart.

But since forgetting about her was not something he could do, he headed outside with a flashlight. And he combed the yard in full consciousness until he found the goddamn hairpin.

He went to bed that night holding it in his hand. The curtains blocked out the light from the night sky, and he couldn’t see the flowers. They were so small he’d rarely noticed them, but he wanted them now. He turned the lamp on low and rolled toward the window. They were tiny buds, golden like her hair.

He turned off the light. Tomorrow he’d take the curtains down. It hurt too much to look at them.

***

There was no angel on Effie’s shoulder advocating the wisdom in holding the line and finding herself again. There was no devil on her other shoulder advocating the indulgence in desire. All at once, both shoulders were filled with wild horses pulling her in a single direction — home. She didn’t need to inquire about the train schedule. She’d committed it to memory.

The roller coaster was pulling out of the station again, and she was already on it.

[lover-of-the-starkindler]

For the music ask: #7, #9, #10, #14, #18, #21, #25, #26, and #28, please. :)

7. a song no one would expect to find in your library

I don’t know if it would surprise anyone or not to learn I have Hello by Adele? 

9. a song that reminds you of a certain place

Barn Raising Day by Paul Imholte; the chorus makes me think of going by a certain barn on a mid-summer evening; there’s a lake to one side and horses and cows in the pasture to the other and a hayfield just to the north and it’s very country and peaceful

10. a song that reminds you of a certain event

Fur Elise makes me think of playing it for my great-grandma at her 100th birthday party

14. the most specific mix you’ve ever made

I don’t know about “mix”, but I listened to the Eragon OST almost exclusively while writing my Eragon rip-off dragon story and that’s the thing that pops into my mind when I think of music for a very specific mood/purpose 

18. your go-to song when you feel like belting something

Joy to the World? I’ll Make a Man Out of You from Mulan? 

21. an artist you most want to see live

Gray Havens seems the most likely? I’ve already seen Michael W. Smith twice, so…

25. a song you’ve listened to countless times in a row

My go-to answer for this question is Captain America (End Credits) from the Captain America: Winter Soldier OST, but a long time ago it was Clancy’s Theme from The Man From Snowy River OST (I love the entire soundtrack, actually, but that one hit most played…)

26. favorite song from a movie

May It Be by Enya from Fellowship of the Ring

28. a song/record/artist you’d like to recommend to everyone

This My Soul from Ghost of a King by The Gray Havens

[sonyclasica]

CHRISTOPHER H. KNIGHT

BANDA SONORA ORIGINAL DE LA PELÍCULA YELLOW ROSE

Sony Music Masterworks anuncia el lanzamiento de YELLOW ROSE (ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK), el álbum con la música incluida en el drama musical de la directora Diane Paragas, que se estrenará próximamente. Disponible el 9 de octubre, el álbum incluye una colección de pistas originales tal y como han sido interpretadas en la película por Eva Noblezada, Dale Watson y Lea Salonga, además de pistas compuestas por el músico Christopher H. Knight. Ya la venta.

Consíguelo/escúchalo AQUÍ

Las nuevas canciones originales —resultado de un proceso de creación colaborativo entre la directora, la cantante de Country Dale Watson y la cantante y actriz filipino-estadounidense Thia Megia— fueron interpretadas en la película por Watson y la protagonista Eva Noblezada, estrella emergente del éxito de Broadway Hadestown. Yellow Rose cuenta la historia de una adolescente filipina que lucha por conseguir su sueño de convertirse en cantante de Country y llega a los cines el viernes 9 de octubre a través de Stage 6 Films de Sony Pictures.

"La música es el alma de Yellow Rose,” dice la directora de la película DIANE PARAGAS sobre la banda sonora. "Incluso si no eres fan de la música country, sé que te encantarán estas canciones interpretadas por la extraordinaria Eva Noblezada, la legendaria Lea Salonga y Dale Watson. Dale también aportó su increíble talento como compositora a la película, trabajando conmigo y con Thia Megia. Asimismo, incluimos las fascinantes composiciones de nuestro compositor Christopher H. Knight. Creo que la primera pregunta que me hacen en todas las entrevistas es si Yellow Rose tendrá banda sonora. ¡Me enorgullece poder decir que, finalmente, este sueño se hará realidad gracias a Sony Music!"

"Fue una gran alegría cuando Diane me pidió que escribiera la música de su debut como directora de un largometraje," añade el compositor CHRISTOPHER H. KNIGHT. Trabajamos juntos en el tono y la textura de la música. Me incorporó muy pronto en el proceso, lo que fue esencial ya que nos permitió construir un hilo emocional a lo largo de la película que funcionaría junto con las maravillosas canciones que había escrito con Dale Watson. También era importante que la música tuviera su propia voz. Con eso en mente, además de usar la instrumentación tradicional, creé atmósferas ambientales procesando instrumentos folclóricos filipinos de maneras no convencionales para proporcionar un rico tejido sonoro que apoyaría el viaje inspirador de Rose".

Rose, una chica filipina indocumentada, sueña con dejar un día su pequeño pueblo de Texas para perseguir sus sueños en la música Country. Su mundo se hace añicos cuando su madre es detenida de repente por Inmigración. Rose, enfrentándose a esta nueva realidad, se ve obligada a huir del lugar, dejando atrás la única vida que conoce, y embarcándose en un viaje de autodescubrimiento mientras busca un nuevo hogar en el mundo honky tonk de Austin, Texas.

CONECTA CON YELLOW ROSE

SITIO WEB | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER | TRÁILER

YELLOW ROSE (ORIGINAL MOTION PICTURE SOUNDTRACK)

LISTADO DE PISTAS:    1. Square Peg – Eva Noblezada    2. Life Out on the Road – Dale Watson    3. Dahil Sa Iyo – Lea Salonga    4. Circumstance – Eva Noblezada & Dale Watson    5. Quietly Into the Night – Eva Noblezada & Dale Watson    6. I Ain't Going Down – Eva Noblezada & Dale Watson    7. Yellow Rose – Dale Watson    8. Are You Priscilla Garcia*    9. Running Through Hayfield*    10. We Could Have Used Your Help*    11. N35*    12. Leaving Tita Gail's*    13. Rose and Elliott*    14. Rose Leaves Broken Spoke*    15. They Take Everything Away*    16. This is Home For Me*    17. Yellow Rose (Instrumental) – Dale Watson

*Pista de la música de Christopher Hoyt Knight

SOBRE CHRISTOPHER H. KNIGHT

Christopher H. Knight asistió a la Universidad de Texas en Austin, donde estudió música electrónica e informática con el renombrado compositor y profesor Russell Pinkston. Fue en esta época cuando compuso la música de sus primeros cortos. Ha trabajado en una gran variedad de proyectos para televisión y cine. Los temas de apertura de Masterpiece Classic y Masterpiece Mystery suenan en PBS y Amazon Prime para millones de oyentes cada semana. También se pueden escuchar en Sunday Night Football en la cadena NBC. En 2017, reimaginó y actualizó el tema clásico de HBO "Feature Presentation", que IndieWire aclamó como, "...más épico que la mayoría de los temas de Marvel Superhero". Knight ha escrito la música de varias películas, incluyendo: A Close Enemy [Sony/Monumental Pictures], Six Degrees Could Change the World [NatGeo], Echo Park[Array Films] y Yellow Rose [Sony/Stage 6 Films]. También ha trabajado con el compositor Blake Neely escribiendo la música de Blindspot [NBC], Arrow [CW], y la exitosa serie de Netflix YOU.

CONECTA CON CHRISTOPHER H. KNIGHT

SITIO WEB | FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM

[gold-and-jules]

Music I think y’all might appreciate. Maybe? Idk give a few of them a go, for me 🌸

80s

Bizarre Love Triangle  ⭐

Black Money

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me

Hold Me Now

Personal Jesus

Enjoy the Silence

There She Goes  ⭐

Rock/Punk/Alternative 

Choke  ⭐

joyriding

She’s the Prettiest Girl a the Party, and She Can Prove It  

The Factory Gates 

Ruffians On Parade  ⭐

Misc

Magnum Bullets  ⭐

Firefly

Human

HUMAN

Holy  ⭐

Headfirst

Tous Les Memes

An Idiot  ⭐

Honey Whiskey

Wishing Well

Silver Tongue 

Take Me There

Negative Nancy  ⭐

Marble Soda

Folk

Do Not Cross The Hayfield  ⭐

A Lyke Wake Dirge

Bread and Roses

Mama Don’t Make Me Put On The Dress Again 

Mordred’s Lullaby  ⭐

Albums

Education, Education, Education and War (Album) 

Construction Time Again (Album) 

Young and Unafraid (Album) 

Soundtrack

21 Chump Street (mini-musical) ⭐

https://griffinmcelroy.bandcamp.com/ ⭐

https://soundcloud.com/griffinmcelroy ⭐

No Healing in Wonderland  ⭐

Wonderland Megamix  

Déjà Vu ⭐

TAZ Knights Intro

⭐ = rec x2