#he drove so well

[leclercgoesnyooom]

I want to give charles a hug, like sweetie this was not on you

[leclerc-s]

oscar is literally p19 and he’s putting on fastest lap.

[godlikecunning]

ollie bearman you are ICONIC baby

[forzafinally]

I'm just a little sad yk

[foxy-kitsune]

JUAN GOT POINTS IN HIS FIRST F2 RACE AFTER 4 YEARS I'M SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

[shih-coulda-had-it]

bruce: do you know anything that could help us organize a more effective resistance?

yoichi: ah... (has never learned to read a map)

kudou: he's been stuck in a vault for who knows how long, what strategic info can he know?

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[eirianerisdar]

He's fricked

[mcgnussen]

if i had a nickel for every time george has binned it on the last lap and given k-mag a point as a consequence then i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice, right?

[nostalgia-tblr]

"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.

[3l91]

iwaoi timeskip thoughts.

iwaizumi doesn’t want to make leaving anymore difficult for oikawa, and oikawa doesn’t want to make iwaizumi feel any worse about the fact that they’re going separate ways.

the distance between them is only growing more and more noticeable, but it’s not the sort of gap that’s miles long — it’s small, easily breachable with hardly a half step forward.

but it’s a gap nonetheless. a wall.

and neither of them will take that step forward.

iwaizumi knows that he might be able to convince oikawa to stay, to pursue his professional career in japan, where he’ll always be in reach. he’s thought about it before, what it’d be like if the two of them attended the same university, were able to play on the same team, get lunch together whenever they wanted — to just be with each other like they’ve always been.

oikawa knows iwaizumi won’t ask him to stay, even if he himself has practiced over and over again in his mind what he’d say to his childhood friend to convince him he has to go. he’s been set on this since the beginning. his next step has always been going abroad. for a long time they’ve both known that their paths would split — and isn’t it cruel to attempt to shake his resolve at the very last second?

but iwaizumi will never ask him to stay. and oikawa will never deny him that request.

iwaizumi won’t even walk him to the gate even if he agrees to drive him to the airport.

it’s a just in case measure to prevent any sort of opportunity for him to say something that might rattle his best friend.

minding the distance, acknowledging that gap.

oikawa won’t say anything unnecessary either. their goodbye is just as heartfelt as it needs to be. as simple as it needs to be.

for two people who felt comfortable enough to be their whole selves around each other their entire lives, they’re doing a lot of hiding from each other the moments before they’re set to part.

but why not play along, keep things light? they’ll still call. they’ll still text. it’s not like their friendship is disappearing, it’ll just be different. so there’s not even a need to say, I’ll miss you.

— It would complicate things.

It would be crossing a line. That minuscule amount of distance that they forbid themselves to cross. even if it’s true, the two of them can’t verbalize it, or it’ll become nothing more than a weight in the pit of their stomachs.

because it’s already difficult enough for oikawa to be going overseas. it’s already hard enough to accept that iwaizumi won’t be right by his side, calling for the ball before smashing it down. it’s already hard enough to think about what might change once they’re no longer within arm’s reach of one another.

what’s more.

this sort of goodbye — this lukewarm parting — is an acknowledgement of sorts.

of the strength it took for iwaizumi to let oikawa go as easily as possible.

of the herculean effort it took for iwaizumi to send his friend off with a too-hard pat on the back and a wry smile that was practiced countless times in front of a mirror to ensure that it won’t betray any hurt.

of the agony it must be for iwaizumi to acknowledge that his path alongside oikawa ended with their final match in high school

of the truth that iwaizumi doesn’t ask oikawa to stay because he’s afraid the other will say no without hesitation, without looking back

selfishly keeping the request to himself, minding the gap because he doesn’t want to cross it and find nothing on the other side

and on oikawa’s end, a struggle that’s similar but ultimately different.

that small part of him that wants to take iwaizumi with him, that wants to question why - why won’t you follow me?

a question that sometimes turns into why won’t you fight to stay by my side?

a question that becomes why won’t you fight for me?

conflicting feelings that would only turn to bitterness are ignored, swallowed down. the desire to start an argument just to hear iwaizumi say he cares — is denied with several difficulties.

it wouldn’t be right to do something like that, to him of all people.

furthermore.

the two of them are constants in each other’s lives to the end, friends who understand each other, who consistently do what’s best for each other — to the point where they become dishonest with each other.

it’s not a dramatic goodbye like in the movies, there’s nothing like a fuss at all. theirs is a simple parting lacking in heaviness. they don’t say more than what’s necessary. their gazes don’t linger and they don’t turn back to look at each other.

they deny themselves the satisfaction of that tearful goodbye because it’d be too difficult.

they deny themselves one another because right now they can’t have each other.

they let the other go because that’s what you’re supposed to do — as an adult, as a good friend, as someone in love who can’t say it because, they know better than anyone how crushing that feeling can be.

the two of them coming to taste the bitterest form of love in the form of a lukewarm goodbye.

[simmyfrobby]

― Louise Glück, The Seven Ages

Hockey Poetry Post 37/?

(Photo credit: Francois Lacasse, Minas Panagiotakis, Mike Carlson, link, Vincent Ethier, Scott Audette, Francois Lacasse, Scott Audette, Scott Audette, Dave Sandford, link, Francois Lacasse, link, Mark Blinch, Mark Blinch, Brett Holmes, link, Mark Blinch, Jeff Bottari)

[wyldblunt]

i am always thinking about that one asura in taimi's lab who, upon not recognizing the commander, snarks something like "oh, i'm sorry, i didn't bring my heroes of tyria flash cards with me today 🙄"

was he just joking or do those exist. heroes of tyria TRADING cards, even???? are children across the realm kicking and biting each other over a holographic trahearne

[winepresswrath]

also the way these writers go for "my sister was my daughter" they are salivating over lestat/gabrielle they are so. excited. if we get next season i'm going to be watching through my fingers.

[isa-ah]

crick is a few years older than isaiah... what if he had very faint i was a little boy memories of isaiahs mom before she died oxo