#he kind of has his now and the buzzcut but they don't seem that close

[partywiththedevildude]

Okay but... "I will you anything/everything (you want)" and the only thing Mo might actually, deeply and with any permanence, want... is the only thing He Tian can't do...

Stay.

[maxknightley]

Which Touhou Girls Can You Plausibly Read As Butch? A Comprehensive Overview

Earlier on Tumblr I saw a post complaining that someone called Hecatia Lapislazuli from Touhou Project butch. This is Hecatia Lapislazuli:

Obviously, like most Touhou characters, she is in fact quite feminine - she just shops at Hell Hot Topic. But it got me thinking: In a series like Touhou, with a cast overwhelmingly defined by feminine (if rowdy) ladies, how many characters could you say are 'butch' without sounding like a complete doofus or significantly redesigning them to fit your headcanon?

CRITERIA

I'll be using four main criteria to judge characters' butchness. In real life, of course, butchness is a multivalent and extremely personal thing, but I'm talking about funny cartoon women from a video game here, so I'm willing to be a little reductive.

These criteria, in order of descending importance, are:

FASHION. In a series where goddamn near everyone is in either a dress or a skirt, the mere act of Wearing A Dress Shirt can be enough to make a powerful statement. Hats may also play a role here, given how many Touhou characters have gay little hats.

HAIRSTYLE. Short hair is not the be-all and end-all of butchness. I, myself, am Decidedly Butch even though I've been growing out my hair since college. But the length and styling of the hair are still a valuable indicator of how someone thinks of themself and wants to be seen.

'TUDE. Could this character be accurately described as "kind of a frat boy?" How do they speak to others? Do they just kind of seem like a character who ought to be butch, regardless of their looks? Do they even lift?

COMEDY FACTOR. Self-explanatory. This will probably only come into play if I run into a weird edge case.

I'll also emphasize that we're grading on a curve here - butchness is being assessed relative to the characters who do not appear on this list. Nobody in this series has a buzzcut, you know what I mean?

THE TIER LIST

AS CLOSE TO CANON AS WE'LL GET

Fujiwara no Mokou. The girl wears a dress shirt, fucking suspenders, and trousers. Not shorts, actual full-length pants. She's also in a perpetual love-hate mutual-murder situationship with Princess Kaguya, who is femme as all fuck. Obviously you don't have to be butch to date a femme - I'm just saying it feels Fitting given their whole deal.

Yuugi Hoshiguma. Most of the time, her fashion sense is actually quite feminine - but her look in the most recent chapter of Cheating Detective Satori, with the one exposed shoulder and the sarashi and all that, significantly alters the balance. Her hair actually reads as more masc to me when she keeps it long and unruly - when she puts it up in a ponytail, she ends up looking very kempt, even elegant. The deciding factor here is 'Tude: Her sheer levels of butch swag are off the fucking charts. (Still, I wouldn't blame someone for arguing she should be knocked down a tier - especially since I'd argue the Comedy Factor works in reverse here. She's way funnier if she doesn't think of herself as butch in the slightest.)

Minamitsu Murasa. In his original appearance I'd argue that Murasa is in "Reasonable" tier - maybe even as low as "Kind of a Stretch." But her big gay Jotaro jacket in Sunken Fossil World, combined with the emphasis on the weightiness and solidity of his trademark anchor, put her over the top. One of the only Touhou girls I consider worthy of being He/Himmed.

Shinmyoumaru Sukuna. The other He/Him-worthy Touhou girl. Very short, slightly messy hair; wears a kimono, not a dress; inheritor of Issun-Boshi's legacy; wears fucking dinnerware as a hat. Why do you want to be Big so badly, huh? So you can pick up women more easily? So you can carry your awful wife through the upside-down threshold of your upside-down bedroom?

Raiko Horikawa. For the longest time I thought her skirt was a pair of shorts because I straight up could not parse it as anything else. Even now I'm like "that can't possibly be a skirt, ZUN just drew it weird. She has to be wearing a full two-piece suit." Skirt aside, her jacket/dress shirt/necktie are still undeniable, as is her short hair. Also, she is a taiko drum given life, and I feel like taiko and timpanis are naturally butch. Maybe if she was a tambourine or a set of bongos I'd rank her lower?

Momoyo Himemushi. Rough-talking miner. Wears a dress shirt, leaves the top button(?) undone. Tromps around a big weird cave with no shoes or socks on. Wears bows and bangles basically everywhere but in her messy, tangled hair. Also, maybe I'm stereotyping here, but I just can't picture a centipede as being femme.

REASONABLE

Wriggle Nightbug. The dress shirt, cape, and puffy shorts all paint a vivid picture, but I just feel like I don't have a strong enough opinion on Wriggle as a character to put her in the top tier. In other words, she's got plenty of points for Fashion and quite a few for Hairstyle, but I just don't think the 'Tude is sufficient for me.

Reisen Udongein Inaba. The skirts are a strike against her, but her whole "dress shirt + necktie + sometimes suit jacket" thing makes a big difference, especially given that we're grading on a curve. Her rumpled ears and (particularly in Inaba of the Moon, Inaba of the Earth) pathetic demeanor go a long way towards giving her a vibe somewhere between "overworked salaryman" and "Detective Columbo."

Aya Shameimaru. All you need to know about Aya is that her "human reporter" disguise looks like This:

Mononobe no Futo. Butch, but in a really weird, circuitous way, imo. Like. She's sort of wearing a dress, but it's sort of a robe - the contrast of the hemline with her big flowy sleeves makes it hard to pin down - and her outfit quite notably has tassels rather than any kind of frills. I don't know what the hell is up with her hat but it's definitely not femme by any stretch of the imagination. Then thou hast the wayes in which she speaketh all "faux-olde-timey," even though nobody else in the setting does that... she transferred her soul into a plate, but she also throws plates around as weapons... It's like she's constantly putting on a performance that only she truly understands. It's like she reverse-engineered "masculine womanhood" by hanging out with a bunch of queens and doing kind of the same thing but kind of the inverse. The more I think about Futo the more I think she's entirely on her own wavelength, but I think "Reasonable" tier is a... uh, reasonable... approximation for the sake of this post.

Sagume Kishin. She dresses like if Bill Nye were a woman, and I think that cuts to the heart of it - she reminds me of a professor who you're not ever sure is gay, but you kind of pick up on a vibe, and near the end of the semester she offhandedly refers to "her partner" and you're like HOLY SHIT I KNEW IT. I went back and forth between putting her in "Reasonable" and "Kind of a Stretch"; ultimately, the Comedy Factor decided it because I couldn't stop thinking about a scenario where she says she's a woman, accidentally upends her whole understanding of gender in the process, and ends up taking testosterone while still ID'ing as a lesbian. I don't actually know if her powers would work that way and I don't care.

KIND OF A STRETCH

Eiki Shiki. I don't have a lot to go on, here, because she hasn't had many official appearances and seems to spend most of her time lecturing people or tormenting sinners. Her uniform(?)/apothecary outfit(??) is pretty snazzy; combined with the hat, it gives her a vaguely "military officer" look to me. We'll call her "butch pending further investigation," which I think she would agree is the correct course of action.

Sekibanki. She's here partially because of the cape, and partially because being sandwiched between Wakasagihime and Kagerou makes her look way more masc by contrast. I know what I said.

Ringo. It's pretty much just the hat and the pants, though - as a butch woman who Loves Eating - I am also inclined to project my own experiences onto her.

Aunn Komano. She reads as more "tomboyish" than outright "butch" to me, what with her whole puppy-dog vibe, but at the same time... she's very much wearing shorts and the kind of goofy-looking button-up shirt that is central to my own wardrobe and the wardrobe of other butches in my life. I'm willing to count her.

Takane Yamashiro. A living testament to the power of small character design choices. I would never in a million years call Nitori butch, even with her gay little hat and all the pouches on her outfit - she just looks like a girl scout. Takane, though? Takane, with her little hair swoopy, and the fucking suitcase slung over her back, and her camo-print dress? I mean - ultimately it is still a dress, which is why I can't justify scoring her higher, but she's definitely chewing tobacco and riding around on an ATV on weekends.

Chiyari Tenkaijin. If she's butch, it's not really because she's trying to be butch, it's just because being femme seems too expensive and time-consuming. She's got better things to do (drink blood all day). Still, I think an argument could be made.

DEFINITELY A STRETCH, BUT I RESPECT IT

Renko Usami. ZUN is kind of inconsistent with how he draws her hat - sometimes it's more of a porkpie/fedora type thing, other times it's round-topped and looks a bit like Koishi's hat. To me, this is a crucial distinction. In a more general sense, I feel like Renko's outfit gets a little less plausibly-masc with each passing album, which says a lot about our society. Or her society, anyway, since she lives in the future. Still, the capelets and bowties...

Rinnosuke Morichika. I think it would be really funny if the only significant male character in Touhou wasn't actually even a dude. I'm not aware of any real textual support for this interpretation, though.

Shou Toramaru. Pretty much only on here because of the hair and because I think there's a certain je ne sais quoi to her whole deal of "she's not a real tiger, she's the idea of a tiger that pre-Meiji Japanese people came up with from secondhand accounts."

Seija Kijin. Not even remotely butch by any stretch of the imagination... But if she did consider herself butch, isn't that exactly what she'd want you to think?

POTENTIALLY NOTEWORTHY EXCLUSIONS

Cirno. "Tomboyish" is not the same thing as "butch," to me, especially if you exclusively wear dresses. Also, I'm not sure Cirno even knows what a lesbian is.

Saki Kurokoma. Not actually butch, just a horse girl. (And a horsegirl.)

Mike Goutokuji. Can't tell if she's wearing a skirt or shorts. She's got short hair, sure, but the whole "matching bell collar and wristbands that also have bells attached" thing makes her look more like a Very Online Trans Woman who just figured herself out and hasn't started hormones or bought any new clothes yet.

[sidespart]

For the fake fic title, if you're still doing it: Why do you hate me? (I honestly don't know where I came up with this lol)

X-Men AU!!! Found Family + Anxceit friendship. TW: child soldiers, child endangerment, abuse etc

(So typical X-men universe set up: some people are born with the X gene, which typically triggers during puberty, giving that person a mutation which normally results in cool powers. Many people hate mutants for their differences (/ bad press of people using their mutant powers for the evilz) and so most mutants live in hiding. The Xavier Institute is a school set up by an extremely powerful mutant which seeks to provide a safe space for young mutants to learn to manage their powers, get a regular education and hopes to see peace between humanity and mutant kind. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants is a group of mutants who believe humans will never let mutant live in peace and do various anti-human, pro-mutant vaguely terrorist-y actions (there’s like a billion version of the x-men and these details may not be correct for all the versions all of the time because comics but this is the vague idea))

ANYWAY PLOT - Containment breach at the Super Secret Child Soldier Lab (SSCSL) - Subject VII has escaped. Subject VII is only 6-7 years old but his mutations were artificially triggered much younger than is normal. He can warp reality and create very sophisticated illusions, but has very limited control over his powers.

Cut too - Virgil and Dee, a couple of teenage mutants living on the street. They find a little boy with a buzzcut wandering around The Bad Part Of Town and Virgil immediately decides they need to adopt/help him (Dee makes more of a fuss about how this is not their responsibility and the kids barely even talking and do you know how hard I work just to keep you and now you wanna add another mouth to feed?? Huhh?? but obviously does not actually say no) (Dee is like. Barely any older than Virgil he’s just dramatic). 

Naturally, just as the three of them have had time to bond, the SSCSL and other assorted bad guys show up to try and take VII back. There’s a big fight, Virgil and Dee have a lot more experience with flight and would probably have ended up dead if the X-men (Patton and Logan) hadn't shown up to save them. 

But they lose VII.

Patton and Logan take them back to the Xavier institute to recuperate and offer to let them stay. They can go to school there, get some training and help the X-men track down VII and the whole SSCSL. Virgil says yes, Dee says no.

(So, reasoning - Virgil's mutation developed when he was 12. It was not pleasant. Various students at his school were injured and the media set up a which hunt for the mutant that caused the chaos. Virgil ran away from home because he was worried about the backlash on his family and about hurting anyone else again. So to him, this school full of mutants who can help him control his power, can offer him stability and a return to normal structures and routines, who are promising to help him get in contact with his parents if and when he’s ready?? This is like every fantasy he’s ever had come true

Unlike the other characters, Dee’s primary mutation is physical. He was born with it, its very obvious and its resulted in him being rejected for most of his life. He bounced around increasingly disturbing foster homes before running away when he was very young, so most of his memories are of living on the streets and surviving on his own. So, to him, number one: all adults are inherently untrustworthy idiots and number two: stay at a school? where they expect him to have a curfew? and, what - write essays? follow all their random arbitrary rules? rely on them for food and heat and all that shit? Completely ludicrous.)

It doesn't occur to either of them that the other one isn't going to agree with them. The resulting argument is epic and cruel, both hurling accusations at the other (Ungrateful /controlling are two of the big ones..) and both basically feeling hateful and 100% betrayed. Dee leaves and although they look for him, he’s got a lifetime experience of hiding and they cant find him.

CUT TO - 5 years later. Virgil is a (semi) well adjusted 19 year old junior X-men. He’s still a bit withdrawn, but is very close with Patton and Logan. He’s still holding out hope of finding VII one day and still firmly pretending he’s not listing out for any possible news of Dee (there were rumours some years ago of him joining the brother hood of evil mutants but then it all went quiet) who he, of course, hates for his betrayal. 

BUT THEN - mysterious knocking at the door in the night. Dee, now wearing a hat and cape and calling himself Janus, has returned. And he’s brought with him a little boy with a buzzcut and a tattoo of XXII on his foot.

Janus and Virgil need to put aside their resentment and work together to help XXII, who really does not seem interested in helping them, and hopefully use any clues he can give them about the SSCSL to track down VII. But that's difficult when they’re both still struggling with their own trauma and have no idea how to reconnect - both of them want to ask why do you hate me but are a bit too scared of the answer. ...

This already got way to long so mutant power/ extra back story descriptions under cut!

Patton - 22/27 years old. An extremely powerful telepath/empath. It takes him serious concentration and focus to not hear peoples thoughts and its almost impossible to not feel their feelings. Some people dislike him because of this as they feel he's spying on them. Grew up in the Xavier institute and 100% believes in and is committed to the future where humans and mutants live in harmony. Has pretty limited life experience in the real world. Sometimes floats. (inspired by professor X)

Logan - 21/26 years old. Fires destructive laser beams from his eyes. Was in a car accident when he was younger leaving him with permanent but apparently harmless brain damage - until his mutation developed and he slowly realised that no matter how much he trained he just couldn't control his power. Has to wear specialised eye guards at all times to keep himself from accidentally destroying everything around him. Had big plans to go to university and was angry at his mutation for a long time for getting in the way of that. Eventually enrolled online and is now a very dedicated teacher at the Institute. (inspired by cyclops) 

Janus - 15(?) / 20(?) His primary mutation is  lizard/snake like scales over most of his body, but especially the left side. Has oversized fangs, and yellow eye and a short lizard tail. His secondary mutation makes him immune to almost any sort of mental based mutation (so Logan could still knock him on his ass with his lasers, but Patton cant sense anything form him and Virgil cant whammy him). Spent a lot of his life on his own and got by being sneaky, cunning and charming. Initially took Virgil in because he saw that his powers could be useful for keeping them both safe, but eventually Virgil became his first real friend.

Virgil - 14/19. Shadow manipulation and ‘draining’. Virgil can make himself (and with practice, people he touches) literally disappear into the shadows. He can also direct shadows as powerful energy ‘blasts’, but in order to do so he has to drain any surrounding living things of their energy. When his mutation first developed  he took out half of the school hall where his exam was being held, leaving 15 students in a coma. (inspired by rouge/shadow cat)

VII - 6? / 11? Reality warping/illusion powers. One of the institutes first successful subjects. He was able to escape by changing the wall of his cell into a door. He finds it hard to talk but can project his ideas as lifelike illusions who can talk for him. One of his best is the image a handsome grown up Prince and he will often use this Illusion as an avatar to communicate. When he was 6 he did have some hazy memories of outside the SSCSL and expressed a desire to go home. Current status is unknown. 

XXI - 7.  Illusion powers  (reality warping has been removed from the program by his time as subjects proved too difficult to control). Has no memories of outside the institute and is extremely uncooperative with his new captors/guardians. He does not understand the affection they’re trying to show him and lashes out a lot, often by creating a lot of extremely disturbing and graphic illusions. Bites. 

[devinescribe]

Slow Dancing In The Dark

Ok, so... this idea has been in my head for a while. So... yeah. Basically what song you two would dance to in the privacy of your rooms. Most likely in the dark.

Niragi

- Very sweet

- He likes the song, but won't say it

- He really loves the lyrics because he relates them to your guy's situation

- Not like anyone can hear the two of you over their parties.

- It's not even intricate dancing

- Just slowly swaying while his hands hold onto your waist

- Randomly spins you

- honestly, makes you forget everything that's happening

- He loves having you so close to him

- He doesn't want to turn the lights on because he doesn't want you to see his absolutely lovesick face. (Hahaha, it's soft Niragi hours here, leave me alone)

- But just says it's for fun

- You convince him to keep the curtains open at least

"You ever wonder if anyone has seen us doing this?" You whisper, laying your head on his chest. "I doubt it. And if they have, the obviously know better than to say something," he responded, one of his hands holding the back of your head. You sighed happily because in this moment there was no games. There was no fearing for your life. There was no worrying about where the other was. There was only a comfortable silence where unsaid words of love and adoration were heard. Even if they weren't verbally spoken. Words couldn't describe your relief every time he came back. Words couldn't express how he felt, or more so he didn't know how to express how he felt. But it was those unsaid words that were heard the loudest.

Chishiya

- He was very confused with the song at first

- There was a lot going on at the chorus, and it scared him a bit the first time. He'd never admit that though

- I feel like he knows how to do like... waltzes and ballroom dances

- Slowly teaches you if you don't know how to

- Will be nice sometimes and not complain that you stepped on him

- Sometimes is petty and steps on you back

- You always have to guess

- Lights off so that way no one passing by would see that you're up, and won't interrupt

- The only light coming in is the lights from outside

- I mean, he's just glad it isn't a cheesy song

- Or so he thinks

- The only time he acts soft though

- The best talks happen while you two do this

"And now you step that way... good," he instructed, praying you when you did it. You laughed, placing your hand on his shoulder. "You haven't been mean to me all day, what's up with you?" You joked, quickly kissing his cheek. He sighed, taking your arm over your head, and spinning you around. "Would you like me to be mean? Because that can be arranged," he smirked, pulling your body closer to his. You pouted playfully, shaking your head.  "It's just... you're never so... nice? Well, to me you're nice... but usually you tease. Is there something wrong?" You questioned, explaining a bit more in depth. He chuckled, shaking his head. "No... well, actually, yes. You. You decided to try and save me in the game earlier. You could've gotten hurt. Or worse, died. Don't be so stupid, you're a very clever girl," he explained, looking away. You frowned, softly placing a hand on his cheek, caressing his face. "I will do what I deem fit for myself. You deserve to live as much as I," you whispered, leaning your forehead on his. He let out a small laugh, swaying with you. The earlier thoughts of his interrupted by your calming presence.

"I'll have you know you've stepped on me at least six time though, my darling."

"Well, that's not really a me problem, is it my love?"

Arisu

-fun jumpy dancing!

-spins you around a lot

- you're both very dizzy

- you've both fallen down to many times for you to not have broken bones

- lights are on, you two already get hurt as it is

- but you convince him to just one lamp

- which works

- loves the song

- he relates it to your relationship

- loves it

- loves you.

- at the end when it's all the 'oh oh oh oh oh' he does the... cross arm spin thing? You know what I talking about right? Oh well, that, a bunch of times

- all around the room you don't stay stationary

- too much energy for that

"This is fun! Do it again do it again!" You laugh, holding onto his hand. He laughs, spinning you once more. "You're so cute," he said, holding onto you. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, holding your face. You smiled, grabbing the hand on your face and kissing his palm. "I love you," you sighed, looking into his eyes. He hoped you could tell there was only pure adoration and love for you. The way you would giggle or laugh everytime brought him to paradise. You really did make everything better. After hard games, or just a day at the Beach, you always made him forget about how the world was. How he wished you two could stay in this moment for eternity, forever in a state of bliss. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he couldn't help it.  In his mind, forever was any time spent with you.

Karube

-he thinks it's very aesthetic pleasing

- the song is a vibe honestly

- you two actually dance around the whole room

- song is on full blast, everyone could probably hear it

- sings the 'I will make you queen of everything you see.' Part to you, and after says it's a promise

- his hands hold onto yours, fingers interlocking,

- whispers sweet things into your ear when you're close to him

- giggly, laughing, and fun.

- The lights are off cause he doesn't give a fuck

- he can see perfectly fine. There's light coming in through the windows, he says.

"And we.. spin!" He laughed, spinning you, while holding onto your hand. You giggled, getting pulled back into him.  "Karu, careful!" You scolded, holding onto him. "What?" "I almost stubbed my toe!" Others would be trying to have a romantic moment, but you two were more about having fun in the moment, being romantic later. Through laughter and sweet words, you somehow managed to not fall. Every word that wanted to be said was falling out, even if it wasn't meant to be said out loud. It's just the effect you two had on each other. Feeling free in the moment, and making memories to last a lifetime.

Chota

- He adores the song

- It's soft, it's sweet

- Loves it

- Soft but energetic swaying

- he doesn't know where to put his hands, so won't put them anywhere he doesn't know you're comfortable with

- Likes it when you lean your head on his chest, because he feels like he's protecting you from the negative vibes

- Best boy

- You somehow convince him to keep all the lights off

- how?

- no one will ever know

- but you did, so bravo!

"Watch out for the chair baby," you warned softly, snuggling your face further into his chest. You heard him hum in acknowledgement, and smiled. You could tell he was tired, but anytime you had suggested to go to bed, he would tell you you were worth staying up for. He really was too sweet. You swayed softly to music as he held you close to him. Even after the song ends you stay that way, holding each other as if the word would end if you let go. As much as you protected him, he loved feeling like he was protecting you. He loved that you felt safe with him.

Last Boss

- Did he chose it?

- No.

- He thinks it's kind of sad in a way

- But the more he listens to the lyrics, the more he loves it

- While you two are dancing he analyzes the lyrics

- And talks to you about them

- He likes that you're actually listening and partaking in the conversation

- Slow swaying, his hands hug around your waist, and his head is in the crook of your neck

- Whisper talking as you sway in place

- lights are off

- He's attentive and makes sure you don't get hurt

- He likes being wrapped up in your arms

- And will admit it

- Fuck hiding your feelings from your partner

"I like the part where she says 'and we'll never go home again', because... what if we don't go home Samu?" You whispered, gripping onto his back. "We will... eventually," he whispered back, drawing soft circles into your back. It was quiet for a bit more before you spoke again, "...What if I don't want to go home again? What if I wanna... what if I want to stay here? With you?" You didn't hear an answer, and sighed softly. He didn't know what to say. "I think... I think I'd like that more... than going back," he said. You smiled, continuing on. It was never boring to be with him as he always seemed to know what to say. His thoughts were interesting, and you always thought you were so lucky to be able to hear them. Even as you swayed softly in the dark room, the quiet whispers of random thoughts spilled out. The music from the parties going on seemed to be drowned out by everything happening in your shared bedroom. And even the moments of silence were filled with loud actions of adoration.

[yaboymercury]

Gassy Lessons - Fourth class: Sports

Jay had been attending his 'Fart training' with Mr Watts for about a week and half and he was beginning to build up a good technique. He had adjusted his diet slightly and learned some better ways off letting out the gas, according to his teacher it was becoming quite impressive. Between moments of flirtatious farting with his science teacher, he told Jay that he was maybe ready to test out his gas on other people. He didn't really understand what this meant but he took it into consideration.

It was his last class of the day sports, it was the season for team sports which he usually enjoyed but not having any proper friends in his group he found it pretty boring. The lesson started off with them all getting changed in one of the locker rooms while they waited for their coach. During this time most students chatted with their friends but Jay just stood in the corner of the room and just waited for the lesson to start while changing, he didn't mind embracing the mysterious loner stereotype for just one year. Unfortunately it wasn't so uneventful on this particular day as a group of guys decided they wanted to be pricks.

"Hey man nice haircut" One guy called at Jay in a sarcastic way. At this time Jay was sporting a buzzcut but when guys wanted to be rude he guessed they just made fun of anything. He just rolled his eyes in response.

Another called since the first remark didn't get a response "Oi nice ass man bet your boyfriend loves it." While his friends laughed at this Jay just found it funny, and he did have a nice ass he had to admit. But he knew a good way to respond to the guys.

He stepped a bit closer to them which confused them "Well guys when you get a closer look it really isn't that 'nice'" Be turned around sticking his butt towards them and lifted one leg in an exaggerated manner.

FFRRRRRRRRRAAAAP

"The fuck man!" The guys immediately began complaining and Jay was proud. He had filled the close vicinity with his own wretched stink cloud. The assholes drew their sports shirts over their noses as they looked at Jay saying shit like 'dude that reeks' and 'that's fucking disgusting'. Jay just chuckled to himself as he finished changing, while he'd gotten stares from the rest of the room with some waving their hands in front of their noses while others laughed with Jay he had gotten the perfect reaction. He considered that he might be happier with the label of gassy mysterious loner.

Soon after however while the hint of stink was still lingering the coach entered, however his only reaction was slightly raised eyebrows after a quick sniff. He was another one of the many teachers Jay found attractive having a muscular but shorter than average frame which he made up for with his intimidating face giving off a serious energy, his semi-permanent frown hid what would be considered a handsome stubble covered face with a masculine short black haircut.

He told the students to follow him out to one of the fields of the school telling them they would be playing football today, split into two teams and he would be refereeing as well as giving them critiques.

Jay wasn't the best football player and as the game started up he remembered just how little he really understood some of the more minute rules. After just a few minutes of the game while he attempted to get involved and steal the ball from another player, everything stopped and apparently his technique was considered a foul. When the coach had to get involved he wanted to stop the conflict as soon as possible and gave Jay a red card making him leave the game and stand by him for the rest of the match, Jay wasn't really that invested in a game he didn't care about to he went without hesitation enjoying the thought of just being lazy for the rest of the hour.

Jay was ordered to stand next to the coach and watch the game to maybe learn something, but Jay really didn't care for sports. He instead was much more interested in eyeing up the coach and attempting to remain subtle. The man had a bulbous ass and him wearing the tight gym shorts made it look amazing. Despite all the gassy interactions Jay had been having with teachers recently, nothing could stop the young man's sex drive.

Jay had only been standing next to the the stoic teacher for a couple minutes when his stomach gurgled. It was obviously the Triple egg and cheese sandwich he had eaten for lunch kicking in. Jay was still riding high on the confidence he got from gassing out the changing room and he was kind of interested in seeing how his serious coach would react. So he raised his leg once again garnering a glance from the man next to him.

PRRRRRRRRAPPTTTTTT

It wasn't loud enough for the students playing to hear but the coach obviously had and was now surrounded in a fog of Jay's eggy wrath which he was proud of as he took an loud sniff.

"Phew that's a stinker don't ya think?" He was playing it up but as this point he didn't care, he was having too much fun.

For the first time in what seemed like forever Jay saw the man smile it was mischevious but the way it made the man look almost made Jay's legs buckle, he was hot. And to get that reaction from a fart was interesting.

"Huh turns out there is some potential in this class." Even though the statement was about farts, the stinky boy blushed at it. While he was still in shock however the coach smirked and leaned away from him and turned his ass a bit in his direction.

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It was a roar of malodorous wind blasting warmth on Jay on the cold day, but it reeked of rotting meat.

"Try that one on for size." The deep voice said to Jay who was staring back at the teacher as well as making to look at the ass which shot out the gas which was making him cough, at least he has an excuse to.

Jay attempted to recompose himself next to the teacher who had resumed staring at the game. The student still had some gas in his tank and thought he should probably kick it up a notch, be more bold. He stepped closer to the coach after he checked to see no students were looking and stuck his ass out to touch against the side of Coach's waist.

"What are you-"

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It rumbled deeply against the man's waist and once it was done Jay strolled back whistling at the eggy stink he had forced onto the teacher who was looking at Jay with a pleased shock and after he took a deep intentional sniff he even grimaced a bit making Jay exceptionally happy.

"How's that taste Coach?" Jay asked cheerily.

"Good..." He replied, the man trailed off at the end, Jay looked at him and could tell he was deep in thought, he'd began looking at the students playing but there was something more predatory in his eyes.

Jay watched along with the coach until one of the students, one of the guys who had been fucking with Jay in the changing room actually, made a slight mistake. None of the other students complained but before they could start playing again Coach blew his whistle and beckoned over the boy who glared at Jay as he jogged up to them.

"What's wrong Coach?"

"That was a clear foul, your here for the rest of the game."

The boy sighed but accepted his fate not wanting to argue with such an assertive man, so he went to stand in the gap between Coach and Jay while Coach whistled for the game to continue. They stood in silence with the student occasionally giving Jay dirty looks, after a while Jay looked over at the teacher who made eye contact with him. But by the way the coach stared at him Jay realised he was trying to say something, his eyes darted from Jay to the boy in the middle and then he winked his a small smile. Maybe this was a test.

Jay extended his hand to the student "Hey man I'm sorry about my smelly incident earlier..." The other boy looked at him like he was a complete freak but obviously didn't want to leave Jay's hand hanging in front of him so he took it, but that was all Jay needed. He grabbed the boy's hand tightly and tugged him down quickly making him trip up behind him. While the student was still in shock behind him on the grass Jay crouched a little pointing his ass straight at him.

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The eggy blast hit him point blank.

"Yeah man sorry for not making you smell another!" As the boy wretched at thr rotten gas gagging him Jay just laughed at him while he tried to catch his breath while staggering to his feet.

"Coach did you see that, this dude just farted on me it smelt fu-" he stopped himself from swearing in front of the teacher "-terrible!" But while he was attempting to talk reason to the coach he was staring at the game and replied quickly "What?" Jay snickered as he was surprised how good at acting dumb the coach was. The other boy was left dumbfounded at the injustice but Coach just backed up his question with "Don't make stuff up kid, keep your eye on the game."

The student just huffed as turned back to Jay gave him a death stare "Dude you fucking stink."

Jay found this attempt at an insult hilarious, he could practically see the smell of his gas radiating off the guys face "Man what are you talking about?" he giggled back.

The confrontation couldn't go any further when the both heard the coach click his fingers startling them.

"Hey you," Coach looked at the other boy "could you pick this up for me?" He pointed casually with one finger at the grass behind him which had the pen usually clipped to his belt sitting on it. Of course it would be easy for Coach to pick it up but the student wasn't about to talk back to him so he quickly began walking over to the ground to get it. As the boy bent down to pick it up behind Coach the man crouched a little and flashed Jay a grin. The asshole's head was in the danger zone.

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It bubbled doftly and powerfully out of Coach's ass and obviously hit the boy like a ton of bricks making him stumble and fall down even deeper into the source of the overwhelming stench. While the amazed Jay was standing several feet away the wave of wretched warmth hit him pretty quick and even he started coughing a bit at the meaty stink. But it was nothing compared to the other students reaction who was having a full on coughing fit on the ground, but he was beginning to stand up again, however slowly.

"Jay come on and help your fellow student." The tone of the teacher's voice was not very sincere so as Jay hurried over he interpreted Coach's instructions as he squatted over the other student.

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It was pretty abrupt but the eggy blast mixed with the meaty fog did the job as the boy stayed down with wet eyes and curled up loudly coughing and wretching.

Jay stood up and gave the boy a look of deep fake concern. The Coach whistled once again.

"This student is having a serious athsma attack over here so we'll go and help him in the sports office, you all can play on until I come back." He bellowed at the others. They didn't seem to really care that much as they carried on, so per orders of the Coach Jay helped the man get the wretching student on the Coach's back and they jogged back into the changing room. However instead of making the turn into the sports office with any medical supplies, Jay instead followed him into the dimly lit small sports supplies room where Coach promptly dumped the boy onto a pile of mats where he lay still coughing.

Coach turned to look at Jay with his restrained but unbearably attractive smile.

"Now we've had our fun but, we've got to make sure this kid doesn't remember shit." It was nice to hear the coach speak more informally and it was even nicer that he was holding the blushing farter by the shoulders telling him this. Jay just nodded smiling deliriously, the flatulence had obviously gotten to his head.

Coach had quickly gone to get something and left to get something and had left Jay in charge on keeping an eye on the idiot student. He was beginning to recover pretty fast and had sat up now. "The fuck are you two doing this shit for?"

Jay just checked his nails for dirt saying "The fuck, I didn't know fart cushions could talk?" giving the other boy a passing glance. The other boy was getting frustrated he got to his feet and stomped over to Jay shocked at the sudden movement, the student got right in his face.

"I swear to fucking God if you talk about farting one more time..." he just snarled at the end but Jay was expecting something like this as he had one hand down his trousers cupping and SBD he was letting out.

Chuckling at the other enraged boy who didn't even have time to raise a fist, Jay raised his cupped hand up to the boys nose. "Oh you means farts like this?" Unfortunately Jay wasn't good enough to knock him out just yet but the stink was a good enough distraction as he began to cough again. Jay shoved the boy back to the ground for the second time in the day and did what felt most natural as he straddled the boy down with his ass resting on the boys chest leaving him right in Jay's firing line.

This was just the time Coach came back in carrying in two protein shakes. "See you're one step ahead of me." Jay grinned up at the teacher as he restrained the other boy who was starting to struggle again. "You're really bringing out the contact sport in fart I like it."

"I made room for you Coach!" He said patting the boys face which was clear for landing.

"Nice work young man, now you drink one of these, they're my secret weapon I think our friend here will enjoy their effects."

As Coach sat down resting on the students face giving him a little room to breathe, Jay backed up making sure not to miss the opportunity to be ass to ass with his coach. They both chugged their shakes and not even a minute after Jay heard his Coach's stomach rumble almost in synch with his own. It was time.

"You ready Coach?"

"You should be more worried about yourself!"

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The onslaught of gas coming out of the two men's asses overwhelmed the boy underneath them who passed out at the mix of eggy and meaty toxic stench, but it wasn't really about him.

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The gas kept going rumbling between the two's vibrating asses shaking the room which felt like an earthquake to Jay. The sensation of being ass to ass with the sexy moaning teacher in relief while having warm gas in between them was starting to make Jay hard but he wasn't properly capable of thinking of that as the smell of them both letting rip was getting to him.

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The toxic fog in the room was beginning to become more dominated by the personal stink of the coach as Jay realised that he was slowing down while his teacher was going strong. However once Jay was out his teacher abruptly stopped and looked over his shoulder to see Jay's erection.

The older man stood up off what may as well have been a decomposing corpse, at least by the smell of the face, and got in front of Jay. And in doing so showing off the hard on he as well was sporting.

"I see we're both getting quite a unique pleasure from this Jay." Jay wasn't all there, being in what felt like another stench filled realm of existence, but he was liking it, despite how bad it stunk, he was still turned on. "Now how about's I finish you off too I need to get back to my class after all" He turned around and pulled down his shorts revealing a hairy ass being held taught with a jockstrap. And despite the stink Jay thought he was in heaven. "Go for it Jay."

Jay dove in, but in his state all he could do was nuzzle the man's crack appreciating his musk on top of the overwhelming stench of his flatulence. He felt his asshole twitch and knew what was coming.

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The meaty stink singed his nostrils as it invaded Jay's body. Despite thinking he would ever get used to something like this we was wrong, his body couldn't handle such a putrid smell and he was out.

When he eventually woke up he was back in the changing room. He noticed pretty quickly he was next to the boy who he and the coach tortured but he looked like he wouldn't get up for a while, Jay considered the idea that he might be in a fart induced coma but unfortunately his breathing felt pretty present if not a bit damaged. Jay saw on top of his regular uniform a scrap of paper with a phone number on it. Jay smiled at what this meant and when Jay noticed that on the back it said 'For a stinky workout partner' his smile deepened. Inspired by this he decided that before he left he would leave a few gassy gifts on the boy next to him.