#he loves majima's bullshit and its great

[majimassqueaktoy]

Look at that chilling entrance. Half performance art, half raw power.

[cerastes]

6, 23, 25, 33, 34, 75

The Prompt

6. An underrated game from within the last few years?

In all honesty, Katana ZERO. It's not unknown but I think it deserves far FAR higher praise and attention, it's a beautifully crafted game with excellent gameplay and challenge. The sound, visuals, and gameplay are all top notch.

23. Favorite genre of video game?

As a macrogenre, Roguelikes, easily. I love fast, intense, short runs where creativity, flexibility, and fundamentals are far, far more important than googling up the OP build and just copying that. Roguelikes keep you sharp and let the devs try out some truly disgusting, delightful stuff that I think they should be allowed to do more without having to worry about negative reception due to it being too difficult, since difficulty comes with the genre.

As a microgenre, Action. I love fast paced games in which I don't have to rely on Getting Bigger Number(tm), as long as I have the skill to overcome the situation, I overcome it, and that's that.

25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming?

Two.

The first one is that I personally shifted the PvP meta in Dark Souls 2, as well as becoming an infamous figure in Iron Keep due to my constant, daily invasions in that area. For two months, I played Dark Souls 2 PvP almost obsessively every day, invading as much as I could in Iron Keep Bridge, and the big meta thing at the time was using Dark Uchigatana running R1 builds, which I built myself to counter specifically (Ultragreatsword + Estoc + Poison Arrows Black Bow + Miracles + high poise). Specifically the idea of running an ultra GS + Thrusting Sword and high poise started slowly being aped, and I had someone straight tell me that they were doing it because they saw me in a stream crushing the streamer with it. If you are from that era, I was Love Love. I loved getting messages from randos telling me they'd heard about me after the match, though the majority were people insulting me, which was fun in its own way, bwahaha.

The other is clearing Metal Gear Solid 4 in The Boss Extreme difficulty (the highest) with no deaths, no alarms, and no kills, without the use of guides.

33. Favorite female npc?

Doctor Angelicus from Baroque!

Baroque is one of my favorite games ever, and Angelicus' design has stuck with me ever since I first saw her. It's just such, such a good, cool design, the long arms and freakish hands, the head piece, the porcelain mask, the one winged birds, how twisted and mutated she is from the Blaze and yet how she remains a strictly good-aligned character. She's also the very first big hint that you should NOT use the Angelic Rifle.

This is what she looked like pre-Blaze mutation:

34. Favorite male npc?

Well, he's ascended NPC status lately, but for the longest time? Goro Majima from the Yakuza/Like A Dragon series, for sure.

Majima was meant to be a one off character just for the first game, but he proved to be so overwhelmingly popular among fans that the director gave him a return role in 2, and since he kept getting more and more popular, he kept getting bigger and bigger roles, culminating with him being finally playable in a mainline game (the masterpiece, Yakuza 0). What is there to be said about the man we all already love? His QTE is still bullshit in Yakuze 3, though.

75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first?

As a rule, I focus on sidequests first, but if the sidequests are not fun, then I just go ham on the main storyline. In an ideal scenario where everything is great, though, yeah, sidequests first.

[beevean]

How about a top 5 (or 10 if you prefer) best and worst bosses in video games? :D

I’m not very well versed in videogames, but anyway...

WORST

10) Chaos 4 (Sonic Adventure): Not a big fan of bosses who waste so much time - ooh, look at that, trying to hit me with very slow, very telegraphed attacks, and taking more and more time to becomes vulnerable the more the fight progresses. Also not a big fan of Tactical Suicide Bosses (excuse me Chaos, why is your strategy “stay in the water for increasingly amounts of time and then decide to raise my head to breathe”? In this form you’re a fish!). Even less of a fan of bosses that you have to fight three times to complete the game.

9) Sonic and Diablon (Shadow the Hedgehog): They couldn’t have come up with a more boring boss if they tried. Shoot the shield, shoot the cannon, avoid the hand, run away when you hear the word “anti-matter”, kick Sonic in the head, slowly chip at the large energy bar, rinse and repeat. The G.U.N. Fortress version is particularly painful, too, as the arena only offers those piss poor pistols with 10 bullets and minimal damage. And much like Chaos 4, you have to fight this lovely boss three times to get to the Last Story, except you don’t even get a different character with different abilities. Also, poor Sonic, from protagonist of the series reduced to nothing more than a footstep.

8) Collision Chaos boss (Sonic CD): Try to play a boss that relies on wonky pinball physics, that shoots projectiles with the only purpose of changing your already precarious trajectory, in the Bad Future that adds slightly more bumpers to destroy, with the American music (I linked the extended version to properly depict the experience). Pain is real.

7) Egg Pinball (Sonic Advance 3): Surprise! I find this boss worse than the more famous Egg Chaser. Yes, the Egg Chaser is very anxiety-inducing with its bottomless pit and the ball chain sending you into it, but once you learn the pattern of the platforms and that Amy as a partner makes it a joke it’s not that bad. This one, though? Even with Amy/Sonic, which is the only team where your partner is useless but you aren’t, this boss relies too much on luck, expecially by the end when way too many balls are flying across the screen. It’s almost funny, in a “screw you” way, that this is one of the two bosses in the game that can’t be hit by Cheese, in the stage where you finally unlock Cream. Pinball and Sonic don’t mix as well as Sonic Team thinks, apparently.

6) Boost Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): This boss’ strategy isn’t even that bad, it’s just that it hits you like a truck in an environment that is already sipping you of health. If being hit was less punishing, guessing the correct timing to jump over it would be fun. Too overkill for its placement in the game.

5) Mother Brain (Metroid Zero Mission): MB in the original Metroid 1 was... there, with the difficulty of the final boss coming from those stupid Rinkas pushing you into the lava below. In the remake, which otherwise is much easier than the original game, you have to think about the Rinkas, the lava, and MB who shots you fireballs! And if you fall into the lava (and you will spend half of the time in the lava)? She closes her eye and protects her only weak spot, forcing you to wait at the mercy of the Rinkas hitting you all over again. Asshole.

4) Dark Gaia (Sonic Unleashed): Dark Gaia, as a whole, is a stain on an otherwise beautiful game. Setting aside his “character” for a while: this boss is way, WAY too long (the first time I clocked at 11 minutes, like hell I’m trying again), the Gaia Colossus phase is frustrating for how slow it is and for having a nigh-unavoidable attack, the running phase requires pitch-perfect timing otherwise say bye bye to your life, and the Super Sonic phase is essentially “slipping down the shield to run over a bunch of snakes, then QTE up your ass”. Riveting. At least it has some banging music...

3) Egg Saucer (Sonic Advance 2): The bosses in SAd2 are already questionable with their “wind pushing you backwards” physics, but this one flings you enough bullshit to make you ragequit. Whoisthisgit made an excellent video explaining everything that makes this boss such a miserable experience. I am so sorry, Knuckles, that you had to be associated with this tragedy.

2) Antlion Mecha (Sonic 2, Game Gear): So let me get this straight devs, you take a boss that is already a little too had as the first boss in the game, you put it in a console with a much smaller screen, you screw up the slope physics making it just a little too easy to slide into the antlion’s jaws (and of course you don’t have any Rings), and on top of that you make the trajectory of the projectiles random when in the Master System they were consistent? Great game design there, guys :V

1) Spider Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): I was never as close as bestemmiare ogni santo e pure il padre eterno as I was when I was trying to beat this abomination. I love the Ing theme, but FUCK if I wasn’t hating every single sound of it while playing, OH MY GOD I envy the people who played it on the Wii so damn much

BEST

10) Robot Carnival/Storm (Sonic Heroes): Yes! Yes, I do like this boss! I’m probably the only one, I don’t care, I find these fights cathartic, especially with Team Chaotix <3

9) Jet Drill (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The strategy may be simple, but I love the setup of Eggman destroying an ancient garden just to kill Sonic and I love how it emphasizes how much of a reliable bro Tails is. (let’s just ignore the fact that with Tails alone this boss is a pain...)

8) Doomsday Zone (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The series had its fair share of Super Sonic bosses, but so far no one has beaten the original. It has excellent music, you can feel the tension as you smartly redirect Eggman’s missiles to him and as you chase him down through space, and Eggman in this game is really ready to do anything to win, I love it

7) Beta mk. II (Sonic Adventure): This is probably the best part of Gamma’s campaign. 90% of it is kindergarten-easy, and then Hot Shelter and the final boss are a sudden, but welcome spike in difficulty. Beta mk. II is a far cry from any other E-series robot you’ve faced, being almost completely invulnerable, hitting you with straight up nukes, and the time is still ticking in the corner. Then you add the context of having to kill your brother, and the deceptively upbeat theme, and it becomes a memorable experience.

6) Cykka (Metroid Prime 2): The first phase is fairly boring, but Adult Cykka is really fun to fight for some reason. Not only it has a cool design, but it’s a fast-paced battle (due to having to use the Grapple Beam to swing from platform to platform) where you have to go ham on the boss at certain points (when it becomes Dark Cykka), my two favorite styles for a boss.

5) Nightmare (Metroid Fusion): A name, a certainty. This boss looks, sounds and attacks in a way that makes you feel confused and powerless. Even at it becomes a game of “climb the stairs, shoot at its ungodly face, jump around to avoid it”, it’s still tense.

4) Ridley (Super Metroid): SM isn’t famous for having great bosses, but they put all of their effort into Ridley and it shows. There’s no strategy here, it’s simply “kill him before he kills you”. At this point you’re pretty much at the peak of your strength, you went through literal Hell to get The Baby back, you’re not going to be stopped by the asshole who killed your parents.

3) Shibusawa Keiji (Yakuza 0): What a beast of a final boss. The first Dragon of Dojima is the perfect foil to Kiryu, having all of his strength and style but none of his compassion, and beating him up to a bloody pulp, especially as you see him become sloppier and sloppier, is so, so cathartic. Also, Two Dragons, what more can I say?

2) Egg Dragoon (Sonic Unleashed): Best boss in the series? I don’t know but it’s surely in the top 10, and it’s ironic that you play as the hated Werehog. Not only it has some delicious music (that generations ruined), but it’s such a fun climax after the hell and a half that is Eggmanland! On one hand, Eggman sounds seriously angry and he is ready to kill Sonic (and if you take too much time, which admittedly is hard if you’re not doing it on purpose, he is positively gleeful while he sends you into a fiery death); on the other, Sonic just rips this giant robot apart like tissue paper, and even if it’s done through QTEs, it looks awesome.

1) Kuze Daisaku (Yakuza 0): I’ll let this say it all. If I had to pick a favorite version, the fifth one was my favorite to fight (by that point you have likely upgraded Kiryu’s abilities to the point of making him a juggernaut), but the second one is iconic for a reason... multiple, in fact. “DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Special mention to Majima in Y1, YK and YK2 because he looks really fun, but I have never faced him myself so yeah.

[majjiktricks]

jazz blease,,,, for the character ask,,, mistew majima

i have my suspicions about who this is but also im not 100% sure so i will keep my accusations to myself either way i <3 u anon

How I feel about this character majima my beloved... <3 the first yakuza character i went nuts over. i love him dearly. he lives in my brain

All the people I ship romantically with this character me on my multishipping bullshit: kiryu, saejima, kiryu AND saejima (ultimate ot3 honestly), makoto (had things gone differently)... ive put a little thought into nishiki/majima, especially during the 10 year gap. some shared catharsis... that would be a terribly unhealthy relationship since i think it would be built off mutual loss of kiryu, but still an interesting one to consider. i also have a soft spot for majima/kashiwagi. it came out of nowhere but i actually really like them, even if it kinda is a crackship. something about passionate men fighting on a rooftop, majima being one of the few people to get under kashiwagi's skin and make him lose his cool...

My non-romantic OTP for this character whatever majima and nishitani would have had, had y0 been different. their relationship would be a weird one. i cant see it as a romantic one at all but definitely more than friends. also to reference my own previous answer to this, i think him and akiyama would be wild as friends. i wanna see them interact more bc theyre funny together.

My unpopular opinion about this character i think my thoughts on him are really well put together in an analysis thats been floating around tumblr recently. i know a lot of people have only played 0, k1, and maybe k2, and it seems people focus on his potrayal in k1 especially. they dont get to see the depth that majima has throughout the whole series, and boil him down to "batshit crazy knife guy" when in reality hes probably the opposite of that. hes quite calculating and deliberate, and the post explains it very well. i hope that as the games are now fully available on pc (with the exception of some spin-offs/jpn-only games), more people will play them and see the whole of majima's character instead of shoehorning him into this little niche just because its easier.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. more!!! screentime!!! i so wish we got to see him more in the later games. as i said he does have some significant beats in 3-6 that really tell the player more about his character, but they could have done so much more with him. ESPECIALLY in 5. hes barely in 5 AT ALL 😭😭😭 i know its for plot reasons but BITCH i just want the cast in general to interact more. im fueled by that kind of thing. wanna see more of majima's relationship with saejima, and with daigo (especially post-y6 shenangans). i want him to interact with haruka and have SOME KIND of relationship to her other than "that guy that beats up my dad sometimes." so much is interpreted or created by the fandom that you start to forget a lot of what DOESNT happen in the games. also. kind of a nitpicky thing but also a pretty big deal when you think about the plot of 5. what the FUCK is the timeline in the 80s. as great a game as y0 is, the dates for it completely fucked up what y5 sets up as majima's backstory. i would like to see that retconned and ironed out in a way that makes sense. changing a few years here and there (as well as changing park's age) would be able to fix it, but that has yet to be addressed... i could go on a whole rant about this (angeles has been the victim of said rant before, but i wont. just to keep this a readable length lmao)

send me a character !

[kyndaris]

Familial Bond

With video game releases that I’m interested in few and far between (or delayed), I felt compelled to make a proper dent in my pile of shame. In truth, it was just a simple excuse for me to pull out in order for me to finally finish Kiryu’s saga by playing through Yakuza 6: A Song of Life. Unlike the last two titles in the series, Yakuza 6 returned its focus on our favourite civilian-who-looks-like-a-yakuza, Kiryu Kazuma. There would not be four characters all vying for my attention with their separate narratives that would collide in the last chapter. Would there still be some strange government cover-up bullshit? You bet! So, without stopping to wonder if I should play something a little more light-hearted after finishing The Last of Us Part II, I dived head-first back into Kamurocho.

Yakuza 6 starts right at the end of Haruka throwing away her cherished dream because she could not continue lying about her family. Despite Haruka’s best attempt at reuniting with both the other orphans at Morning Glory and Kiryu, her father-figure is almost immediately arrested on trumped up charges of assault. With Kiryu’s decision to cleanse himself of his sins, however, Haruka is left at the mercy of the media. Unable to deal with the negative press, she then flees Okinawa to allow her pseudo-siblings the chance at achieving their own dreams without casting a shadow.

The motivation felt incredibly shallow as it all played out, considering that Haruka barely called the other children during her three years stint away. When Kiryu returned, it was understandable that he would be somewhat outraged to find Haruka gone. I’m not entirely sure who looked after the rest of the orphans. Maybe Ayako? But where would they have obtained the money to be properly fed and clothes? Were the subsidised by the government? Plot holes aside, Haruka’s disappearance was enough to spur Kiryu back to his old stomping grounds to find out what had happened to his young charge.

In Kamurocho, however, many things have changed. Increased tensions between the Tojo and the Saio triad now pushing into the area have put people on edge. But as Kiryu wanders around, hoping to find clues on the whereabouts of Haruka, he is informed that she was involved in a hit-and-run. And SURPRISE! there’s now a baby in the mix.

With such an odd beginning, it took some effort for me to properly click with the story. Like many, I had placed Haruka on a pedestal. The fact that she became pregnant and had birthed out a son seemed unfathomable. And then for the child’s father to have been a member of a small yakuza family in Hiroshima AS WELL AS THE HEIR TO THE SAIO TRIAD was a bit much to take in.

As such, it was imperative that I distracted myself with almost all the substories and side activities that were on display. And there were many. From being the manager of a baseball team to ousting a corrupt gang from the streets of Kamurocho. I very much liked the spearfishing elements as they brought a new dynamic to the gameplay that I was accustomed to when it came to the Yakuza series. The reintroduction of Pocket Circuit Fighter was also a fun distraction. 

But, of course, how could I forget Ono Michio? Though it was widely out of character for the usually serious Kiryu to don a mascot outfit with a huge tangerine head, I found these moments of levity enjoyable. They also proved to be a great distraction from a plot that only picked up steam in the latter half of the game, which was prone to spamming players with copious amounts of revelatory cutscenes in the last two chapters.

And yes, why has NO ONE ELSE ever thought to use SKI MASKS to hide their IDENTITY BEFORE? Once they were pulled out of the proverbial hat, it made little sense that none of the main characters ever thought to use such a disguise in their more nefarious crimes. 

Also, chucking Haruto around like he was a football IS A TERRIBLE IDEA! THIS IS A BABY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!! True, he might have enjoyed being thrown up into the air, but one does not simply pass him around as if it was a game of rugby. Honestly, story writers, do you have any lick of sense?

Then, of course, the narrative had to force Kiryu into trying to dig deeper into the ‘secret of Onomichi.’ Though Haruto’s life was not in any further danger, Kiryu’s endless curiosity to find out more served to elongate the story for a couple more hours - with a final confrontation that saw Kiryu shot three times and losing consciousness with Haruka bearing witness to his ‘final moments.’

Overall, the narrative was serviceable in that it allowed for a proper send-off to Kiryu Kazuma. After ten years of playing as the Dragon of Dojima, it was appropriate that Yakuza 6: A Song of Life made so many allusions to the previous titles - mostly in the character arcs. Unfortunately, since the title was solely focused on Kiryu, many of the other characters that fans fell in love with such as Daigo, Majima and Saejima took a backseat. I also disliked how even as the story focused on Haruka’s disappearance and her child, she remained in a coma for most of the chapters.

Unfortunately, Doctor Emoto and Komaki were absent. And I missed the silly revelations.

The underlying message of family and the bonds between people left a strong impression on me. After the previous game’s very strong hammer of DREAMS, I was relieved to see that Yakuza 6 kept it subtle and a little more tasteful. In fact, the comparisons between the Lo and Iwami family were excellent in highlighting the importance of understanding one’s children and maintaining a good relationship. I also liked how families were also not solely defined by blood ties. This was particularly evident in the adoptive family feel that came from the Hirose Family and Kiryu’s own experience of growing up as an orphan and seeing Kazama Shintaro as a father-figure. 

Gripes aside, I enjoyed the new songs Yakuza 6: A Song of Life brought into the world. My favourite was ‘Today is a Diamond.’ My least, ‘Fork in the Road.’ But that was mostly due to the game not reading my inputs. After searching on Google, I discovered that I was not the sole person that had encountered the bug. I also very much liked the gym portions of the game and scouting out hidden cats around the cities.

The one side activity that I was a little hesitant to repeat after completing it once was the live chat. Kudos to the translators that played an instrumental role in making some of the dialogue hilarious. Truth be told, however, it was the less savoury moments of the game and I am glad that I never discovered the photography section of Yakuza Kiwami 2. 

What I also liked was the Chinese. Gone was the halting and incorrect pronunciations from Tanimura. The truth is, though, they probably actually hired Chinese actors to give the Saio Triad proper lines. While some of the translations were not exact, they still managed to accurately portray the meaning behind the words and phrases used. 

The combat was also very reminiscent of Yakuza Kiwami 2 with experience points separated into strength, agility, spirit, technique and charisma. It was a little annoying that normal mobs could still reduce my health by such a large amount, but it did feel balanced. I doubt it would have been fair if I just blasted through every fight with just one punch. Although, that would have been entertaining to see.

Yakuza 6: A Song of Life proved to be a decent send-off for one of my favourite characters. Though there were stumbles along the way, it was a solid adventure that kept quite a bit of intrigue. As a writer, however, the plot did feel quite contrived in places, but I swept it aside.

Now with the pending release of a new generation of console, I’ll need to hurry if I want to remain on the front-lines of not-gaming-journalism. Of course, with Yakuza 7: Like a Dragon still on the horizon, it won’t be long before I’ll be back on the streets of Kamurocho. Then again, I still have Judgment to get through...

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Guess who’s back on their bullshit? It’s me!

Okay, so, I’ve been in a writing coma (I swear chapter 2 of Snowed Inn will be up very soon, it just turned out longer than I expected), but I come bearing some excellent headcanons and fic ideas for everyone! Please, join me!

Pacific Rim AU 

Kyodai = drift compatible, I mean, think about it!

Kiryu and Majima both lost their Jaeger partners and thought they would never pilot again... UNTIL! 

Majima absolutely comes in his pants the first time he and Kiryu test for drift compatibility and Daigo has to make the call on whether or not that’s a stable partnership. (He does, if only because if he failed them Majima would insist they test again and ain’t nobody need that twice.) 

Haruka as Mako! Kiryu already has an adorable, badass daughter who will save the world, it fits so perfectly! 

Nishida and Minami making up the science team, trying their hardest to keep Majima from dying, as always 

Akiyama is just here as the obligatory monster fucker 

Ryuji out here being that one fuck who INSISTS he can pilot alone and gets himself killed 

Mine holds the all time record low for drift compatibility. He’s an unparalleled fighter and a skilled pilot, but no one can bear to be in his head for more than five seconds. So he’s seething on the bench until Daigo gets that insane twinkle in his eye and thinks “Maybe...” 

Kiryu weirdly has pretty decent compatibility across the board, not enough to put him back in the pilot’s seat, but better than your average acquaintances. His compatibility with Majima is almost horrifying in its strength. Not a thing anyone thought they would see again after Saejima. 

Living partially in Kiryu’s mind has NOT calmed Majima down. At all. There’s an even higher risk for public sex now. There ain’t shit can stop that man from telling the world how much he goddamn loves Kiryu.

My point is, this is a great AU and everyone should enjoy.

[real-sotenbori-hours]

Receive You: The Madtype - Majima Goro x Fem Reader, Part 1

Summary: The year is 2006 in Kamurocho, Tokyo, Japan and our favorite antihero angel, Majima Goro is outta the yakuza and enjoying life, running the Majima Corporation. Though he deals mainly in construction, his [Zero] days always left him nostalgic for nightlife as a member of the service industry and now a proprietor. He owns a nice little karaoke bar, Takara - something low key, offering secluded tables and party rooms, bottle service, two full bars and a Takoyaki stand right out front.  He spends most of his daytime at the Kamurocho Hills construction site and averages a few nights a week at Takara overseeing operations, schmoozing guests (often vendors, permit holders and officials in the construction business) and occasionally slinging drinks when he’s in the midst of a big pitch or, knowing Majima, an itch for theatrics. 👹 

As his top performer at Takara, the money and rush of nightlife aren’t the only perks to your job... if ya know what I mean. 

 Warnings: NSFW, smut, public masturbation, public trysts, profanity/blasphemy, a touch of B&D and a light dash of fluff...

***

 You love tending bar. Especially in a chill place with a solid staff for an incredible owner. Nothing gives you more pride than servin’ up fine drinks to fine customers under the watchful eye of your fine-ass boss. You take great pride in what you do, but that pride blazes like a wildfire when you think of the business patriarch that benefits most from your impeccable work ethic.

 He’s brash, yet charismatic... he’d do anything for the people he cares about. You love that. He’s wild-eyed yet up close, in the thick of peak hours, he’s attentive and spry, always within earshot to lend a hand.

   It’s unnerving. 

 You’ve learned so much from him. You respect him.   

And you please yourself while thinking of him.   

Almost every night you’d get home, plagued by the faint scent of his cologne and the flush you’d feel every time you so much as brushed past him. Every smirk and nod he’d give you, every conversation... some lighthearted and fun and some even more serious, real, emotionally raw... after putting product away and wiping everything down, you’d be sitting there, counting money, bullshitting and at times, venting. You bonded.

   You figured that over time the more you got to know him, the easier it’d be to shake your insatiable thirst for him. You figured wrong.

   You’ve never been shy about your sexual appetites, but you like to let it build with a slow burn, like easing into a hot bath. A couple of pointed innuendos here, a couple of genuine yet direct compliments there... just to gauge his reaction.

   The first time you let slip anything flirtatious, he grinned widely and later pressed two fingertips into your lower back just above your ass, whispering against your neck, letting you know he was right behind you, passing you on your right. A warm mist shot through you and you wanted more than anything to grab his hand, to place those very fingertips against you, to let your body tell him what you couldn’t yet find the words to say. You wanted your body to show him what he does to you.

   But ya couldn’t. The nerve wasn’t there, just the desire, festering like an infection. But you could keep waiting... after all, he’s worth it. 

 More than anything in this entire world, you wanted him to dick you down. You wanted him to take you hard, fast, with the hunger of a desert animal. Against a wall, bent over any permitting surface, pressed up to the floor-to-ceiling window of the nearest love motel, or all of the above and then some. You wanted him to fuck you into the mattress and then pull you into his arms, burning your skin with his own. You wanted to fuck him senseless. You wanted to make him feel good. You wanted your name to roll off his tongue as he’d topple over the edge, meeting you there. 

 The more you thought about it, you had to admit that it wasn’t just sex that you were after. If you’re being blunt with yourself, you’re pretty sure that you’re in love with Majima Goro. Sure, you love to fuck and you’re used to feeling intensely for every partner you’ve enjoyed... but this one’s different. Maybe it’s because you know that the Mad Dog of Shimano will never let anyone get close to him, that he guards his vulnerabilities not unlike a junkyard dog, feral and frothing, barely restrained. Maybe you like a challenge.

 Or maybe you just want every bit of him that you can possibly get, and if your heart breaks in the process, so be it. Maybe you just want to let your womanhood decide on this one. 

 You want to show him how deserving he is of unconditional love, support, adoration... you want him to see that his past needn’t define him, lest he prefers it. You want him to have the choice. You want to be the woman that shows him he can love and be loved... and you don’t fucking care what kind of danger that could bring you. You’ve never met anyone like him before and you’ll be damned if you let him slip away without making your affections abundantly clear. If he turns away, at least you’ll know, and you could move on. But it doesn’t seem like he would refuse you...

   At work you’d charm everyone in your path, separating them from inordinate amounts of their yen. You fucking loved it. And you loved how closely Majima took notice... if he only knew how wholesome and loving you are inside, how you yearn to lavish him and only him with every ounce of your true tenderness...

  You were sure he could read your intentions, he had to know how you felt by now. Your pining for him was only growing by the day, by the hour... you weren’t quite sure just how long you could keep yourself from blurting out, “Majima-san, I wanna swallow ya whole!” the next time you were alone with him... but as fortune would have it, you would get your chance sooner than you thought.

 ***

   Arriving at Takara, you’re eager to set up. Glassware clean enough that it sparkles, garnishes so fresh you’d almost think them fake, all chairs perfectly aligned, inviting, boasting of the good times and grand nights to follow. You love making this place shine.

   You turn the booth lights down, set the music and take another look around for anything missing. Realizing that the menus haven’t yet been put out, you head to the back office to retrieve them.

   They sat in a neat stack at the edge of Majima’s desk and as you near them, your heart skips and plunges straight between your thighs. His black leather gloves lie right beside them.

   Fuuuuck... you’ve ached at the idea of feeling them on your skin, in any and every way. You want to be spanked with them, gripped by the hands that fill them, choked, smacked...you want to inhale the scent of them so fucking badly, the scent of leather paired with his skin, his pheromones... Jesus fucking Christ this is too much.

   You sneak your head out of the office door, scanning the room for any sign of life. Satisfied that as you thought, you’re the first to arrive and that no one else is here yet, you allow yourself to get brazen. Besides, the only cameras in the house that work are in the lounge and back of house, it’s how Majima keeps an eye on things throughout shifts so he knows when certain guests arrive or if he’s needed right away. You never questioned it, as any closed door meetings that took place in the back office would surely be of an extremely classified nature and you fully understood that a dummy cam was advantageous for whatever they do back here.

   Double-taking once again, the milliseconds are pounding in your temples, your pulse picks up as you wonder, did he leave his gloves here last night? You couldn’t recall, but suppose it doesn’t matter. He usually comes in after service has begun, so it’s possible he’ll arrive at his usual in-time... so if you do the math once again, this means you are all alone and his gloves are still sitting on the desk, teasing you to indulge yourself.

   Fuck it.

 You glide towards the desk, grabbing the glove closest you. Bringing it to your lips, you inhale, closing your eyes, shuddering... fucking salivating. You wipe the corner of your mouth with your other hand and sigh, taking the glove to your cheek, picturing him stroking you with the side of his leather-clad hand. It really is too much. 

 You lean onto the desk, perching on its corner, widening your seat, slipping your hand down your pants, past your waistband... you’re gonna take this moment to let go... and satiate one of your many fantasies about Majima fucking Goro. You’re too hot to care right now, and this is so much easier than trying to make a move on his fine ass anyway.

   You slip your hand into the right handed glove and get to workin’, rubbing your clit with one hand while fully prepared to slide at least two fingers into yourself when the time—when you— come.

   You start panting, trying hard to keep it quiet in case anyone else is in the building... but the moan escaping your lips is beyond your control. You grab the remaining glove, bringing it to the tip of your nose as you’re nearing the edge already, pressing your leather clad thumb on your clit, you begin to convulse, two seconds away from complete release when you hear the click of familiar steel toed boots striding along... closer and closer.

   You jump off the desk just as you hear the footsteps nearing the back office. Planting the gloves back in their respective place, you immediately grab the stack of menus as the door swings open.

   Trying to catch your breath, trying harder than ever in your life to posture yourself like it’s business as usual, you flip the top menu open and pretend to scour it, making sure it’s updated to reflect this weekend’s features as Majima saunters into the room, casually grabbing the stack of envelopes sitting in the tray hanging on the wall.

    “What’s up, Y/N-chan? Yer here early... place looks great!”

  “I’m glad, Majima-san. Thank ya.”   

He steps towards you, setting the envelopes down on the desk, his glance bee-lining straight to his gloves. Your pulse now shoots right up into your throat. Does he know? No fucking way.

   He chuckles and turns to look at you, appraisingly. As much as you’d relish this moment, you’re on the verge of a heart attack so you try to coolly break the silence, running your finger across the open menu in your hands. “Ah, the menus look good, Majima-san... I was thinkin’ we could start using a gloss card stock instead of regular paper, that way we could wipe them off at the end of the night instead of having to reprint them every other day...”

   He grins widely and tilts his head to the side. “Good thinkin’, Y/N-chan. I love where yer head’s at.”

   You pause... yikes. Can he tell that you’re shaking ever so slightly? Because you definitely feel like you’re sitting atop a washing machine right now.   

“Need a hand? I had all of ‘em reprinted so I can help ya set ‘em out...”  

Jeeeeeesus.  

You gulp. “Nah, I’ve got it covered, Majima-san. I appreciate it.” Right now, you desperately need to put as much distance between the two of you as possible or you’ll never regain your wits. Especially not in time to open to the public. His phone beeps and he pulls it from his jacket pocket, examining it with mild annoyance. You take this as your moment to escape, relieved at the distraction. Stepping back, you restack the menus, preparing to wrap your arms around them in order to fit them all in one hold, in one trip.

   Just before grabbing the tower of menus, he steps closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, slowly trailing it down to your lower back. “Mind grabbin’ my gloves fer me? I gotta take care of somethin’.”

  Your breath hitches as your hand shakily reaches for the black leather demons a foot away from you, taunting you to keep your cool. You grab them, wincing as he leans into you to meet your grasp, giggling. His cologne wafts before you, leaving you tingling, intoxicated. If you moved forward an inch, your lips would be at the nape of his neck.

   You feel like you’re gonna pass out. In the name of all that is holy, you just want him to take you against the wall and consume you in every way he sees fit. You want him to hurt you, as nothing hurts more than a desire that burns so fervently with no action. You feel like it’s killing you.

   He pulls away, still standing within a foot of you, his gaze still locked into yours. He slips each hand into each glove slowly, deliberately, all the while keeping unblinking eye contact. He reaches forward and quickly pinches the apple of your cheek with catlike speed, chuckling.

   “Alright, I’m outta here. Back in a bit, Y/N-chan!”

   He turns on his heel and as quickly as he appeared, vanishes.

   You’re panting like you just won the world championship for Hide-and-Seek. Fuck, that was close. You take one more deep breath, collecting the menus into your fully outstretched arms as you make for the door when this time, your heart actually stops.

   A sharp, tiny red light stares back at you, right where you’re standing, just above the door. Since FUCKING WHEN does the back office camera work?!  

Fuck, fuck, fuck...

 ***

 I set out to write this and I am not sorry for where my mind went. So unapologetic in fact that Part 2 is almost complete and I’ll be uploading it very shortly, alongside Part 1 of another Majima fic & Part 3 of my Loki fic, MATM... lemme know if you wanna be tagged in any of my Yakuza fics, for they are APLENTY! xxxxo <3

[thomcoldman-blog]

My 10 Favourite Games Of 2017

This list was originally posted on the forum Resetera, but I felt like putting it up here too, with a little more insight into why I liked these games so much, and so they don’t get lost in the muddle of forum posts. Enjoy!

10. Snake Pass (Sumo Digital; Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

Sumo Digital has been a developer I've admired for years, particularly for their work on the Nintendo-tier kart racer Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. Snake Pass is their first independently-produced title, and it has a great hook - the player controls a snake in much the same manner as a real snake might move. There's no jump button, no Earthworm Jim spacesuit, just the power to raise one's head and the strength to grip tightly to any object you've coiled around. There's no timer or enemies; Snake Pass is content to let you explore its levels at your own pace, letting you getting used to its unique feeling and take in the calming David Wise soundtrack. It's a game that feels like learning to ride a bike again, and the progression in ability over time is such a pleasing sensation that it earns it its place on this list by itself. The good use of collectables and generous helping of levels is icing on the cake.

9. Wolfenstein 2: The New Colossus (MachineGames; PS4, Xbox One, PC)

B.J. Blazkowicz returns and he's lost all meaning of subtlety whilst he's been out of action. Wolfenstein 2 shoots all of its shots - the action is bloody, explosive carnage, and the subject matter isn't satisfied with just skewering Nazi idiocy and narcissism, taking time to shine a light on White America's love affair with sitting back and reaping the rewards of compliance under fascist rule. Whether it's exploring B.J.'s broken psyche, giving Wyatt a crash course on hallucinogenics or putting you under the spotlight in a terrifying audition, MachineGames refuse to pull their punches, each great moment coming swinging like B.J.'s Nazi-reprimanding fireaxe. The combat encounters are far from polished, with stealth being heavily nerfed from The New Order and the half-way shift in tone from borderline-satirical diatribe on mortality and American race relations to comic-book capers is incredibly stodgy, but Wolfenstein 2 leaves a hell of an impression all the same. Shame about that credits music.

8. Gorogoa (Jason Roberts; PC, iOS, Nintendo Switch)

A good puzzle game can make a really strong impression, guiding you subtly by the hand to make you feel like a member of MENSA just for pressing a few buttons or prodding at a screen. With Gorogoa, I can't even begin to describe how the puzzles actually work. Imagine a window segmented with 4 panes of glass, and now imagine you can drag elements out of those panes and into other panes, or over where there isn't a pane to create a new pane... See, it’s hard! In as simple terms as I can muster, it’s a game about taking the world apart and putting it back together again to create paths and progress for your anonymous young hero. It’s intensely abstract, yet the South Asian aesthetic feels like a living locale, an exploration of a boy's days-to-come. It's a short experience, but with each puzzle solved making me feeling smarter than Albert god damn Einstein, it's one that will stick with me for a long time.

7. Splatoon 2 (Nintendo EPD; Nintendo Switch)

Like pretty much everyone, I didn't own a Wii U, but the sting of that decision never really happened until the arrival of Splatoon - Nintendo's first proper new "core" universe since what felt like Pikmin. It instantly looked like sheer fun - and as a big fan of both Jet Set Radio and The World Ends With You, it was clear as day Nintendo's younger designers were picking up the Shibuya fashion torch those games dropped behind them. Put simply, it's totally my shit. Splatoon 2 confirms my suspicions and then some, being the first multiplayer title I've enjoyed online in forever. I can't get enough of the soundtrack, the sound effects, the amazingly catty banter between Pearl and Marina, and just the feeling of dropping into ink, strafing around a sucker and blasting them straight between the eyeballs with my N-ZAP '85. 20% of Switch owners in the US can't be wrong.

6. Yakuza 0 (SEGA; PS4)

The only games I've played previously by SEGA's Toshihiro Nagoshi are the brilliant arcade/Gamecube bangers F-Zero GX and Super Monkey Ball 2, plus his one-off PS3 sci-fi shooter Binary Domain. Loving those 3 wacky games, I always felt a little put-off by his regular gig nowadays being a series about Japan's most decorated crime organisation, and a bare-knuckle brawler at that. Yakuza 0, the 80s-set series prequel that serves as a perfect entry point for series newcomers, proved my suspicions ill-founded. It's a game which instantly casts the majority of the yakuza as control freaks and bullies, pits its protagonists Kiryu and Majima as their unfounded targets and pawns... and then lets you fight your way out of hell via brutal finishing moves, bizarrely complex business management sidequests and, if you're so inclined, a gun shaped like a giant fish. It's that kind of game that always keeps you guessing whether or not you should take it seriously, and so it wins you over with its best-in-class action choreography, astonishingly good direction and a never-ending deluge of sidequests, minigames and challenges. Don't sleep on Kamurocho.

5. Sonic Mania (SEGA/Christian Whitehead/Headcannon/PagodaWest Games; Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One, PC)

If you’re reading this, you probably know I'm a Sonic apologist. I don't really stand by the 3D entries - bar Sonic Generations, which I genuinely love - but the narrative that "Sonic was never good" is some ridiculous meme that I can't stand. They were genuinely fun games, albeit far from perfect; every game can use some improvement. Sonic Mania is that improvement, spinning the level themes and gimmicks from the original Mega Drive (and Mega CD) games into vast new forms, with myraid routes, tons of secrets, an astonishing sense of speed from beginning to end and fairer, more agreeable, more exciting level design. Old locales, new levels - oh, and some new locales as well, one of which (Studiopolis Zone) is an instant classic. 16:9 presentation, all new animations and crazy levels of animation detail, and a mind-blowing soundtrack by Tee Lopes - Sonic Mania is the perfect Sonic game.

4. NieR: Automata (Square Enix/PlatinumGames; PS4, PC)

For my first foray into the sunken mind of Yoko Taro, he couldn't have left a better impression. NieR: Automata uses Platinum's engaging-at-worst, thrilling-at-best melee combat as the language to tell his new story of how pointless it is for anyone to even bother throwing themselves after ideals of society or humanity, and why it's worth trying all the same. Every inch of this game feels crusted in Taro’s sensibilities, with the no-bullshit 2B and her curious whiny partner 9S running into robots waving white flags, avenging fallen comrades, establishing monarchies, throwing themselves to their deaths, and coming to terms with their crumbling existence in apocalypse.  It's crushing, it's raw, it's often dull, but its uniquely bleak vision of AIs breaking free of their programming has a grip as powerful as a Terminator's. And when it’s ready to let you go, it has you send it off with the most memorable credits sequence in history. Glory to Yoko Taro, glory to PlatinumGames - glory to mankind.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Nintendo EPD; Nintendo Switch, Wii U)

Standing in the centre of a bridge connecting Hyrule’s broad, emerald green fields to the desert mountain approach, a bridge overlooking the still Lake Hylia, I fire an arrow into a lizard bastard’s head, or at least I try to. He dodges it and rushes me, forcing me to jump away and retaliate with my claymore. Out for the count, I resume looking for the lost Zora wife I’ve been asked to seek out, who apparently washed all the way downstream in a recent downpour. I can’t see any wife - my entire view is dominated by the giant green dragon snaking across the night sky above me. The wind picks up, but I am too awestruck by its presence to take note that I could glide up to it and shoot off a valuable scale. Instead, I just stand and stare, this utterly unexpected moment happening before my eyes. Friend or foe? A boss monster, perhaps? A vital story element later on? The answer ended up being none of the above: in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, there be dragons, and that fact in and of itself speaks volumes about what this game is about. After 30 years, Hyrule finally feels alive.

2. Night in the Woods (Infinite Fall; PS4, Xbox One, PC, Mac, Linux, Android, iOS)

Very few games instil a genuine emotional response within me, but the story of Mae Borowski's no-fanfare return from college to suburban gloom resonates hard with me. It's an expert at the little touches - the needless-yet-fun triple jump, the not-so-starcrossed rooftop musicians, the impulsive reaction to poke a severed arm with a stick - and woefully precise with its big swings, like an upsetting cross-town party, a wave of violent frustration amongst the townspeople, and the inability to just lay it all on the table with friends and family when you need to most. In the cosmic dreams of shitty teens, Night in the Woods finds an ugly beauty in depression. 

1. Super Mario Odyssey (Nintendo EPD; Nintendo Switch)

It’s impossible to deny 2017 has been the year of Nintendo. There’s plenty of celebrate elsewhere, but the Switch’s rise to prominence as the machine to be playing ideally everything on, and the amount of absolute smash hits Nintendo has producing this year makes it hard for the narrative to focus elsewhere. The epitome of all this is their final killer game of 2017: Super Mario Odyssey, the grand return of a more open-ended style of Mario platformer. A true blue achievement in joyous freedom, it brings together everything from Mario's history of 3D platforming - 64's freedom, Sunshine's other-worldliness and sky-high skill ceiling, Galaxy's spectacle, 3D World's razor-sharp platforming challenge - and throws into one big pot, creating a Mario where both the journey and the destination are one and the same, and exciting to the very end. In a year of amazing games that hit upon horrid, upsetting themes with delicate, pinpoint accuracy for tremendous success, I’m not sure whether it’s a shame or an inevitability that such an unapologetically surprising, happy game made the biggest mark on me this year, but either way, I’m welcome to have Mario be truly Super once more.