#he probably feels some sort of obligation and in that case wont give it a second thought

[rexscanonwife]

Rewatching the episode where it's revealed that Mojo Jojo technically had a hand in creating the PPG and I love that they're like...not conflicted about it at all 😂 they jokingly call him 'dad' because HE is clearly disturbed by it but they still have no qualms with beating his ass. Iconic.

[bubble-tea-bunny]

i could make you care

[saiki kusuo x reader]

author’s note: i tried to incorporate as many characters into this as possible to make it feel like an actual episode and i got overwhelmed so fast lol i haven’t written this many characters in a story in a long time. in any case hope i did them justice and that you enjoy :’)

word count: 3,029

Today’s morning is bright, and Saiki’s walk is quiet. Typically this would be no cause for concern. A quiet walk to school is few and far between, difficult to come by given the company he keeps. (He’d much prefer a calmer bunch, if he were granted the chance to choose, but that is neither here nor there.) Don’t misunderstand: he’d bask in this brief peace, guaranteed to be broken the moment he passes through the gates of PK Academy, if the reason for this uncharacteristic period of silence comes about because of the absence of one particular person—someone who, if one could hardly believe it, Saiki actually prefers to have around more often than not.

He walks past the street which leads to your home, his pace never slowing because he expects you’ll join him, as you do every morning. You’ll wait for him on the corner and smile widely like you haven’t seen him in weeks then skip towards him, falling in step easily. He’ll remain nonplussed as you hug his arm, give it a brief squeeze as you greet him—Good morning, Kusuo!—and then promptly let go because you understand he likes his space but you just can’t help but indulge a little bit.

However, none of the aforementioned events play out this Friday. You’re not on the street corner, not there to smile and fall in step with him. There’s no arm hugging or a bubbly greeting Saiki pretends he isn’t affected by. But the truth is that he is, the routine coming somewhat as a comfort, even at the price of sacrificing some of his beloved personal space. So when you’re nowhere to be found his brows furrow and he wonders where you are.

His steps slow until he comes to a complete stop. He wants to check up on you, sooner rather than later. There isn’t much time to delay if he wants to make it to school before the first bell, but this won’t take long. He crosses his eyes, activating his clairvoyance, and he centers in on you immediately. You’re still at home. You’re at home, and you’re sick.

A box of tissues rests on your nightstand and you’ve pulled your small trash can right next to it from where it usually stands by your door. You toss used tissues into it before nestling beneath your blankets, pulling it up to just below your chin and hugging it close in order to retain heat. Your breath evens out quickly and he can tell you’re asleep. Your body must be exhausted dealing with your cold, and he’s confident this is the way you will be the rest of the day—drifting in and out of sleep, dealing with the sniffles and congestion.

He blinks and loses sight of you and now he’s staring once more down the road. Readjusting his bag on his shoulder with a sigh, he resumes walking and thinks about his plans for the day. As it was the last day of the school week, he’d planned to go to Cafe Mami for coffee jelly to celebrate. But now that he’s learned you’re sick in bed, he’d have to make adjustments. Momentarily he debates if that’s really necessary. You probably wouldn’t want visitors in the state you’re in, and knowing you, you’d tell him to go to the cafe without you to enjoy himself anyway. The thought is tempting, truly, yet he can’t shake the urge to check on you.

It feels less like an obligation and more like a simple desire of his own to make sure you’re okay. Saiki shakes his head, more amused than frustrated. There’s no one else for whom he would so willingly do this, or much else, for, and he doesn’t think he’d ever tell you because you’ll tease him the way you are wont to do whenever his facade cracks and he’ll let you have your fun because when you ask if you’re really so different as to make him act this way, the answer is, well, yes. You are.

He imagines this scenario and the corner of his lips lifts in a small smile. Good grief. You could be quite the handful.

“Hey, Saiki!”

Nendo’s voice is entirely too loud for the morning and Saiki heaves another sigh, one that sounds as though it belongs at the end of the day and not the beginning. Nendo is joined close behind by Kaidou and Kuboyasu, and they easily fill the silence with discussions about going to get ramen after class and the latest movements of the Dark Reunion. Saiki really only picks up words here and there that allude to the topic of conversation but it doesn’t require his full attention. It’s the same song and dance every morning.

The commotion once he arrives at school is much the same. During lectures he is afforded the temporary reprieve from having his ears talked off, since the only one speaking is the teacher, but at breaks, the noise resumes, and though he always stays sitting at his desk, in hopes the others will get the hint that he’s uninterested in chatting, they inevitably crowd themselves around it, until he is right in the middle.

Hairo has outlined a new workout regimen and in his louder than normal volume of speaking he shares it. He’s going to start it today, and if anyone wants to join, they’re more than welcome. It doesn’t look like anyone wants to take the offer, which is expected. Hairo’s exercise routines were… a little extreme.

In any case, Hairo is nonplussed by the lack of enthusiasm from everyone else and remarks he can’t wait for the end of the school day.

“I think I’ve been losing muscle tone,” he laments, and he complements this statement with a casual flex of his arm, more so to point out the specific areas he thinks are getting soft rather than to show off, but even if he isn’t trying, his biceps are bulging and if his sleeves hadn’t been rolled up, they would have torn.

Saiki’s brow raises. Yeah… I don’t think that’s an issue for you, Hairo.

“I’ve just finished installing an indoor gym at my home, you know.”

Everyone turns to find Saiko has entered into the circle, a smug smirk on his face. When had he gotten here? Really it’s only Hairo who has any sort of reaction to this, eyes practically sparkling imagining the machines and equipment (or maybe that’s just the glare from the fluorescent classroom lights). All the same, Saiko relishes the attention, boasting of the privacy and space and how really, it’s so much easier to be productive if there’s no one else there but Saiki can only wonder if Saiko even works out at all. He doesn’t remember that being mentioned, and Saiki is nothing if not detail oriented.

Saiki doesn’t have long to ponder over this (not that it would’ve continued much longer because he doesn’t actually care about whether Saiko exercises or just set up a gym in his house to brag) before Nendo asks where you are.

Had he just noticed? You always join them on their walk in the morning. But Saiki can’t say he’s surprised it took this long. What he is surprised about is that Nendo had noticed in the first place.

“Oh that’s right,” Kuboyasu adds. “I thought she just went ahead of us today.”

Yumehara informs them of your whereabouts before Saiki does. “She texted me this morning she wasn’t feeling well so she stayed home.” Her phone dings with a new message and she glances at it, then looks back up. “But she says she’s a little more awake now!”

“It’s the Dark Reunion.” Kaidou’s sudden interjection draws everyone’s attention. He clenches his right fist, staring at the bandages wrapped around it. “They’re trying to get to me by going after my friends!”

Saiki remains expressionless but if he didn’t have such good control he would’ve rolled his eyes. Or maybe she just has a cold.

Upon Kaidou’s claim that a secret society is responsible for your illness, Saiki picks up Yumehara’s thoughts: I wish I was the one Kaidou was so worried about! Maybe if I got sick he’d worry about me too! Getting sick to grab Kaidou’s attention? That’s… going overboard, but Saiki can’t find it in him to be shocked, considering from whose mind this speculation has sprung.

“Poor [Name],” Teruhashi says, kind as always. She sets an index finger on her chin, gaze momentarily aimed upwards as she thinks. “I was about to suggest we all go to the cafe after school today and I wish she could join.”

This gives Saiki pause. Wait. The cafe?

“That sounds like a great idea!” Yumehara declares. Again Saiki hears her thoughts: If we go, I need to do my best sit next to Kaidou!

Whether a visit to Cafe Mami comes across as a good idea because it’s a fun way to celebrate the end of the school week or simply because Teruhashi suggested it, Saiki doesn’t know, but one by one the murmurs of assent resound through the group and he barely contains a relieved huff. He’d already changed his own plans from visiting the cafe to seeing you instead, and it’s a good thing too since it’s apparent his alone time would’ve been ruined. Now he has an excuse not to stick around.

Once the final bell rings, they begin their walk into town towards the cafe. The sidewalk feels crowded with all of them on it, and they have to split into pairs to keep the opposite side of the sidewalk free for people going the other way. Among comments from everyone else about how hungry they are, Saiki makes known his intention to just pick up food before leaving. There’s somewhere he needs to be.

“You’re going to go make sure [Name] is doing okay!” Teruhashi exclaims. It’s a statement, not a question. “That’s sweet of you.”

Saiki shrugs. “Sweet” is not the first word he would associate with his actions. It just seems like common sense to check on you. You’d looked miserable this morning, but he takes your message to Yumehara earlier as a good sign that you’re improving, slowly and surely. Still, he’d be more comfortable seeing you himself. He hadn’t gotten any other chances today to use his clairvoyance, but at least it wouldn’t be long now until he’d be heading to your house.

Chisato is working today and she seats everyone. Saiki goes directly to the counter to place his order—coffee jelly for him and strawberry mochi for you—and he stands off to the side while waiting for the treats to be packed. The others are sitting on the far side of the cafe (in his peripherals he sees Yumehara has taken a seat right next to Kaidou) but he can hear them clear as day discussing what food they should order. Yes, he’s certainly glad he won’t be sticking around. Spending Friday in the midst of that noise is far from ideal.

Holding the bag of coffee jelly and mochi in one hand, Saiki uses the other to push open the door, the bell jingling gently, and someone, Nendo it sounds like, raises their voice to shout across the room: Seeya later, Saiki! Then the door closes behind him, and all he can hear is the footsteps of other pedestrians and the low whoosh of cars.

He exhales slowly. Peace at last. He proceeds in the direction of your home, and when he thinks to himself that any longer and his ears might’ve begun to bleed, he’s only half joking.

In the neighborhood it’s much quieter, the only person he passes being someone walking their dog, and only a couple of cars drive past. He knocks on the door and he assumes you’re in your room and so it will take some time for you to open it, but you’re there faster than he expects. You open it just wide enough to stand in the gap, and immediately he notices the fatigue in your eyes. When you realize it’s him, they light up, and the fatigue fails to take away from the brightness of your smile as you open the door wider.

“Kusuo!”

Inside, he sees you’ve moved downstairs to the living room. That’s why you’d answered the door so quickly. There’s a pile of blankets on the couch and a tissue box on the coffee table. The television is on and playing an animation. He doesn’t recognize it, but it must be one of the new ones you mentioned wanting to watch. However, you’re not interested in it now that he's here and you grab the remote to turn down the volume.

“I thought you were going to the cafe today,” you state, head tilting.

Saiki shakes his head. Change of plans. Instead I brought the cafe to us. He holds up the bag of food and doesn’t have to tell you what’s in it. You squeal in delight that he’s come bearing treats, but the sound is a little raspy and awkward due to your sore throat. It’s still easier on Saiki’s ears than the earlier commotion he’d been surrounded with and, if he’s honest, it’s cute.

You plop down on the couch and wait as he joins you. He unties the bag and opens the box, first taking out the packaged pink mochi and handing it to you. Then he grabs his coffee jelly and the plastic spoon it came with before settling back against the cushions.

You sit cross-legged facing him and bite into your soft and squishy treat, humming delightedly. “Thanks, Kusuo.”  

Saiki chews a mouthful of coffee jelly and glances at you.

You grin and hold up the mochi. “For the snack and for coming to see me.”

He shrugs because it’s no big deal. Or, well, he tries to play it off like it’s no big deal. But you know him better than that, better than most others do, and don’t brush it off so quickly. You breathe out dramatically and set a hand on your chest.

“What must I have done for Kusuo Saiki to give up his quiet time for me?” Then you giggle, and  it’s punctuated at the end by a sniffle.

He tells you there would’ve been no quiet time at the cafe since the others had also decided to go, and that you’re much better company. Even when I’m sneezy? you ask him, and he chuckles. Yes, even when you’re sneezy.

His remark about coming to see you because he’d prefer to be here and not at the cafe with the rest of your friends is merely part of the truth. The rest of it is that he did genuinely want to check on you to make sure you were okay. Though to give this a voice felt like too much for someone typically so reserved in his feelings, but you understand perfectly fine as you smile softly. You’re appreciative of his actions, and it would seem Teruhashi had been right about them, for you murmur that he reminds you of the mochi you’re eating: You’re so sweet!

Grabbing your mug from the coffee table, you frown when you see it’s empty. “I ran out of tea.”

Saiki sets the spoon and now empty container back in the box then holds his hand out. You blink, momentarily confused, but when it registers what he’s doing, you give him the mug. As he stands to make his way into the kitchen, you call after him.

“Thank you!”  

Having been to your house a number of times already, he knows where everything is and starts brewing a fresh cup of tea. You’ve turned the volume up on the television again, but you have to rewind to return of the spot you were at before he’d arrived. Once he comes back with a filled mug, instead of allowing it to continue to play, you pause your show.

You’d snuggled beneath the blankets and have to finagle your arms out of the multiple layers to take the mug from him. You say thanks again and blow gently at the tendrils of steam floating from it. The ceramic is warm in the palms of your hands and you sigh contentedly.

“Sorry I’m a little high maintenance today,” you apologize suddenly. “I’d make the tea myself but I just have such little energy…”

Saiki wishes you wouldn’t apologize because there’s nothing to be sorry for. So he tells you as much. Don’t apologize. Besides, he’d offered to make that tea, and if you wanted soup, he’d offer to make that too. He does understand where you come from, however. You tend to be more independent, opting to do things yourself, and you also know his propensity for being alone and needing space. As such, you’re careful not to be overbearing, and the idea of Saiki doing even little tasks like brewing you tea bothers you.

It’s endearing, the level of care you take to make sure he’s comfortable too, but when he says you’re far from high maintenance, he means it. You immediately understand what he’s implying and laugh before scooting closer and leaning your head on his shoulder.

“Okay, point made,” you concede. With a small smile, Saiki grabs the remote you’d tossed down on the couch and presses play.

He would struggle to call you high maintenance on any day considering who your friends are.  They’re loud and all over the place, practically bouncing off the walls. Life could hardly be tranquil when around them and their antics. It’s the total opposite of Saiki, who values calm and silence. If they were high maintenance, he was low maintenance. That’s the way he prefers to be, existing in relative quiet and as close to mediocrity as he can muster. But he can't say he’s opposed to the occasional interruption to the otherwise mundane, especially where it concerns you. You’re not to be found on one side or the other, but right in the middle, and to Saiki, you are just right.

[corvidry]

All About RP Icons For Beginners by Birdy

Hi OP, I’m not sure how experienced you are with all the nonsense surrounding the making and using of RP icons, so I’m gonna come at it as though you don’t have any experience with it at all and I’m sorry if that’s too simplified for you, but also if I’m gonna write many paragraphs about one topic I may as well make it accessible for as many people as possible ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This post goes into what tools are out there for the popular methods of finding/making RP icons in the first half and my personal methodology for choosing and using them in my RP for the second half. This is a very surface level answer to the question and is not meant to be an in depth tutorial for the more labor intensive aspects of the process, but if you guys want more information and can’t find it elsewhere, please ask and I'll know what I should be talking about next. 

Also I’m also contractually obligated to mention to the masses that I do take commissions both for the drawing of RP icons and the service of capping, cutting, recoloring, and framing canon icons. Sometimes I even post batches of canon character icons for free on this blog so like,,,,, hit me up if you want. But!! You don’t need me, you can absolutely do all of it yourself!!  I go into the broad strokes below.

Question 1: “How do you get icons?” 

This is kind of a broad question and the answer depends on what your needs are. The right answer for you is gonna live in one of two camps 

Find some that already exist that are free to use

Make them yourself / commission somebody else to make them for you. 

What you'll choose is gonna depend a lot on your character first and foremost.  The big determining factor in most cases is whether or not the face you want has been in anything you can take pictures of. 

If you have a canon character who exists in visible media--

--you're in luck! The chances of you finding some resources that exist already is higher when you have a canon character who is in at least a few pieces of media. OP asked about Pearl from Steven Universe, and she's a great example of a character with a lot of resources. Searching for rp icons of a popular character will often yield packs of icons on Tumblr, Dreamwidth, Livejournal, etc. Most of these will be completely free to use or have very reasonable conditions for use (like credit the person who made them for example.)  It's often a good first step to see what preexisting resources are available to you even if you still plan on making your own icons. 

If you have an OC or a character that's not all that popular--

--you're gonna fall into the second camp. If you want icons, you have to have them made. So what are your options?

Help! My character appears in no media! What are my options?

If your character appears in no media you're in a tough spot. Different people approach this problem in different ways. 

Face Claims

One option you have is to choose a face claim to represent your character. In roleplay a face claim or ‘FC’ is a person or character whose appearance you use for the physical description of your character. I personally am not big on doing this, I prefer drawn icons and I tend to RP as animated characters, but some people really like using celebrities and stuff to represent their characters.  When I was playing Angus McDonald he hadn't appeared in any visual media yet, so I sometimes used Bryce Clyde Jenkins as the face claim for certain types of threads.  

If you're somebody who likes to use face claims there are loads of resources out there for finding the perfect one, including here on tumblr. Try searching up RP Faceclaim Directory and playing around with some of the ones that pop up.

DIY RP Icons

The other option you have is to create those icons from scratch. Draw them yourself based on icons you like or commission an artist to draw some for you.   If you can't draw yourself, I've seen some people get really creative with this. Some people create their character in the sims, dollmakers, or their favorite RPG and then take screenshots of that to use for icons.  There's also no law that says every icon you use has to be your character's face. When I was writing a trashy mermaid AU I got a lot of mileage out of icons that depicted harbor and oceanic scenes with no actual faces. Get creative, go nuts, have fun.

Icons Aren’t That Important

The other thing to remember that icons are not a must in many RP circles. It's perfectly possible to have a great time and write cool stuff without any pictures at all. Depending on your platform of choice there are probably also other interesting ways you can make your posts unique to you by formatting the text or using symbols or emojis or otherwise denoting your personal style in text.

Help! My character appears in lots of media! How do I make icons?

Again, there are a million and one answers to this question and it really depends on what tools are available to you and what your preferences are. This section is not a tutorial but it will outline some of the options you can look into.

The icon making process is typically in 2 stages-- stage 1: get all your images of your character, and stage 2: edit all of those images into icons.  

If you have access to the source material, any version of Photoshop, and software that automates the collection screencaps from video (KM Player, VLC, etc) you're pretty much gucci. You're gonna have no problem getting loads of nice icons in a reasonably short amount of time and there are a million different tutorials on how to use those things whichever way you prefer. 

If you don't have access to those things you still have options. 

You can still screencap things manually, and you can screencap in batches by holding down the windows key and pressing PrtSc any time you want to save an image. They should be saving to >pictures>screenshots unless you’ve set things up differently. It’s a good way to take a lot of screenshots without stopping in between.

( EDIT / UPDATE: to say that if you use automation for taking screencaps remember to turn that shit off when you’re not using because it oh mylanta it WILL continue to take images without you realizing. Figured out where all my disk space has been going with this rookie mistake, thanks OP)

Additionally, PhotoScape X is a really great little tool for windows and mac that I've never seen anybody talk about, but I use it sometimes and it's totally free with the exception of a few paid features I’ve never once needed or wanted. This program is not as efficient as using Photoshop but it has presets for cropping images easily as well as batch editing options for some basic borders and color retouching.  While it’s not as powerful as Photoshop, you can get a lot done with it reasonably quickly compared to other choices. You can also take and edit snips of anything on your screen with it, which is really really useful if you don’t have access to the video or image files you would need on your hard drive for other version of this process.  The program looks like this:

Also, not to be like a minimalist about it, but you can also just fucken use Microsoft Paint or whatever you have. Like, whatever, there’s no law. You graphics dont have to be comlpex or deep fried. Half of my icons have been made or edited in paint at some point. It wont be as fast as some of these other methods but a lot of us aren't out here making icons in batches of 100 at a time. 

Anything that you can use to make smallish images of your characters face will work to make icons.

If you want more information about any of these methods of icon creation let me know and I’ll talk about them.

Question 2: “How do you make your icons ‘work’ in posts?”

I'm a little confused on what you mean by "make them work" so I'm gonna cover my bases here. I'm assuming what you're getting at is a sort of sense of cohesion in the icons I use, or having the "right" expression for the scene I'm writing. Either that or them not stretching and looking weird thanks to tumblr. I’ll get to both of those.

And before I go into my own rationale for icon choices I feel I should point out that a lot of people who aren't me do successfully manufacture cohesion out of their images by doing fun stylistic things like recoloring their images all the same way or putting cute borders and stuff around them or making them fun shapes, and that's totally something you can learn how to do if it interests you.  I do this for icons commissioned by other people and I’m not against talking about how to do those things, but I don’t really bother with them for my own icons all that much. That stuff is all fun and it’s a neat thing you could get into that can make your icons all look really nice together.

BUT ANYWAY --

Since the character you asked about is Pearl, I’m going to focus on her. Nearly all of my Pearl icons are completely unedited and a lot of the credit I would have to give regarding icon quality goes to Pearl herself and the consistently good lighting that the show uses. I don’t have a huge need for editing or color retouching beyond making memes or whatever other goofy things I might be getting up to. Pearl is extremely expressive compared to other characters I have written and since she's in nearly every episode, I've managed to collect…

...oh god, that’s too many icons.

Pearl is a main character and I've been RPing as her for over 6 years now so I have a fuckload of images to choose from and I'm not gonna pretend that doesn't help when I wanna “make things work”. She gives me a lot of options.

That said, you absolutely don't need 3000 images to make a good post. The way I've collected and organized these images may be of use to you even if you dont have as many icons. I've done a lot with my setup to make finding the right icon very easy. 

For starters, a minor subset of my Pearl icons are grouped by a particular defining feature. I have one large Pearly folder full of icons and then a few smaller folders inside for icons I thought worth grouping separately. For example, all icons of SUF Pearl in her new jacket are in the same folder. All icons of Pearl in short term alternate outfits are in the same folder. Anything I sourced from Attack the Light is in its own folder. I do this with anything that has a very specific use, such as writing AU content or flashbacks to specific time periods. If I can picture an icon in my head, I usually know where in my ridiculous hell collection to go to find it. 

This folder was originally just for her pre-canon outfit but now all of her outfits that only appeared temporarily are in there.

Perhaps more important for the sake of cohesion is that nearly all of my icons that aren’t squirreled away in some smaller folder are loosely arranged by episode. What that means is that most of the time I have icons from the same scene right next to one another. It makes it incredibly easy to make my RP replies appear as though it's all one cohesive scene even if I use more than one icon. When you do it this way it becomes very easy to choose icons that have the same lighting or that appear to lead from one expression seamlessly into another. Exhibit A:

While the vast majority of my icons are numbered, I do take the time to name ones I find myself using a lot or that have particularly unique expressions. Usually I'll choose names that I'll find descriptive or easy to remember based on the context of the icon. You can have a lot of fun with that and never lose your favorites.

Also don't be afraid to lean on icons you got from weird places if you like them.  The icons of Pearl from the official comics run don’t look like most of what I have. I think them being different would turn a lot of RPers off, but I use them a lot because I like the style and I almost never see other Pearl RPers using them.  It either makes me stand out or it makes me tacky, one of the two, haven’t figured out which, but also I’m not stopping.

And just to reiterate, you can use icons that aren’t your character if they’re thematically relevant or vague enough to look like them. When I’m capping I’ve started saving a folder of miscellaneous environments of interests, hands, and other everyday types of scenery that appear in the thing I’m taking screencaps of.

You can use any size you want for RP icons but the most common is 100x100 or 150x150 pixels.  Any smaller than that and the image gets to be difficult to read and work with in my opinion. That doesn’t stop people, of course, but I’m elderly and need glasses now, so no tiny icons for me.  On that note, I rarely see RP icons larger than 300x300. Any larger than that it tends to get bulky and be in the way of other people’s comfortable internet browsing experience, especially on mobile.  Of course, these are just my suggestions. What you choose will ultimately be up to you, but somewhere in that 100 to 300 px range is pretty safe.

A very tumblr specific thing to know is that any image that is wider than 300 pixels will be stretched to hell, so you probably want to keep it smaller than that.

Thanks, Tumblr, I hate it!

Also, don’t be afraid to make trash images for fun if you’re so inclined. People love that, or at least I do. Not having the right icon can be fun and lead to a very silly solution. Lean into being a shitposter if that’s what you’re called to do. 

So yeah, that’s basically what my suggestions are. Collect your images in a way that helps cohesion and ease of use. Keep them a good size. Don’t be afraid to get unconventional with your choices or make memes or whatever. It’s all for a fun time.

Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now, but more info on any of this can be obtained at the price of one ask, I know it was a lot of different moving parts.

[solaroceans]

No pressure, but how about some fluffy headcanons with Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Inosuke with a reader who's excessively smart? They often start ranting about things no one understands, listing off scientific facts like it's common knowledge; it's easy to see how passionate they are.

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Hi there! Thanks for requesting 💕 I had so much fun writing this! It’s really interesting looking at scientific facts that the reader may have known in the 1900’s.

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HC: Main Three x Smart!Reader

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Tanjiro Kamado

When you two met- woah.

he really admired the way you spoke? instead of speaking what most people would consider normal at that time, you spoke in big words that the main three would really only be able to figure out what the words meant out of context.

also not to mention the way you presented yourself, it was obvious that when you did open your mouth it’s not something that should be talked over.

so tanjiro, even when he first met you, felt obligated to listen to what you have to say. he usually doesn’t cut people off, but with you he just really made sure he didn’t. you just radiated intelligence, and amazing skills at your disposal that could be used if need be.

you also were really happy someone listened, someone cared and didn’t cut you off. you were used to being talked over, as most people sometimes didn’t understand you, or needed to take a step back to process what you said- in their language this time. but you also didn’t want to dumb yourself down.

I believe that’s what would make you attracted to tanjiro- because he listened. he didn’t just care about your looks like zenitsu immediately pointed out as soon as you met him. he also wasn’t all muscle and no brains like inosuke, he genuinely cared and wanted to know more.

I believe he would get attracted to the reader when they start taking to nezuko. it’s an extremely rare case, so I believe when you start taking a closer look at the little demon girl and not having had immediately judged her from the start, it’ll radiate a warm and fuzzy feeling within him.

when you treat her kindly and not like some freak of nature, oh woah, did he actually really feel so happy to have you around. not only were you smart, but you were kind. you were so intelligent, but you weren’t going to treat someone like a science experiment. you were genuinely interested in both nezuko’s case, and her as a person.

when you two are alone, omfg. you feel so comfy around him, he purposely asks you questions, daily fun facts, your predictions on scientific experiments or poisons, but also ask you how your day went. (since I’m guessing that reader likes science, they might be close to shinobu in producing poison.)

when you guys are dating, and you got confessions out the way, he’ll always make sure to have a lot of time to sit and listen to you. he might drift off and not understand a single word you’re saying, but just the way you sound and the way you get so excited and passionate, it warms him up. he could listen to your cute voice for hours.

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Zenitsu Agatsuma

When you met him- maN DID HE PISS YOU OFF.

Not only do I think you two would’ve been on a mission when you met, he probably would’ve been such a chicken the entire time and clinging onto you for dear life when he saw how tough you were.

And right when you were at your low, kinda injured, did he PASS OUT. The gods must’ve been mad at you and gave you the unfortunate luck of being stuck with a whimp who somehow survived being in the demon slayer corps.

But when he suddenly switched in the blink of an eye, and pull off an amazing move, and told you he’d protect you, did you actually think he could be redeemed. He killed the demon, and you were at such awe at his swordsmanship. He was so fast- so quick- so-

nope, wait fuck, there he goes.

When he switched back he freaked out and asked to stay by you and to marry him so you could protect him.

“Y/N PLEASE- YOU’RE MY ONLY CHANCE AT SURVIVAL , WITHOUT YOU I WONT LAST LONG.”

And man did you actually believe that last part.

When you two were back at the estate to heal, only then did you guys actually casually converse, with a lot of one sided flirting that I bet you can guess what side it was on. Although, something about how when he switched. You had it engraved into your mind.

Being the smarty pants you are, you were intrigued by this other side of zenitsu. Just for research. Just to see why he did that, how could he do that? Was it a disorder? Was it just sleepwalking? These theories all lead you to hanging around the blonde big baby.

Not only did you begin to get attached to Zenitsu, you began to worry about him and make sure he’s alright. You calmed him when he cried, listened to his worries, you were his shoulder to lean on. At first it was research, but it developed into a beautiful friendship where no matter what even if he was cowardly, you entrusted him with your life.

You saw other sides of him, signs of logic that sometimes surpasses that of Tanjiro’s. Signs of reasoning that inosuke could never have, and that just intrigued you even more. He wasn’t what you first thought he was. You saw that Zenitsu did in fact have a brain, and you saw that he’s really trying his best.

Then you started to fall for him- I mean what? Nah, it’s just research, totally, right? Yeah- no you were totally wrapped around his finger now.

Don’t fret though, because the more you listened and cared for him, the more you showed him you’d always be there, and the more he fell for you too.

95% of the time he had no idea what you were talking about. He had no idea what some words meant at first, but the more he listened, the more he started to learn and genuinely become interested. You expanded his own vocabulary. Sometimes he’d use words and phrases you use on accident.

What he did know though, is he could stare into your amazing eyes and sit there for hours. Your voice on its own gave him comfort, and that was enough for him.

Once you two confessed and began being in a relationship, he didn’t stop either. When in battle, he’d ask what you think, and maybe got a tiny bit more courageous. Especially when it came to you did he actually fall asleep a bit more and become a better version of himself, and on rare occasions act like that when he’s not asleep.

He also sometimes in the middle of your talking would give you little pecks on your lips and tell you how cute you are when you get all excited and passionate.

You’d blush but pout slightly that he interrupted your train of thought, because now you’re all jumbled up and flustered.

I guess the gods did decide to bless you with fortune, huh?

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Inosuke Hashibira

When you first met Inosuke, let’s say you were pretty indifferent. He was all muscle, no brains, you’ve met a lot of guys like him. All they wanted were to be the best of the best, and pretty reckless.

Except, when you snuck up on him due to your zero intent in wanting to harm him, it really startled him. It freaked him out a little. Although, when you offered to treat his wounds, speaking to him as you would anybody else, he looked at you blankly.

You sighed, just doing it anyway, and when you did he jumped. “THAT HURTS” He’ll yelp, trying to snatch his arm back.

“STOP MOVING, YOU’LL REOPEN IT.”

After much struggle, he’ll feel a little warm and fuzzy feeling for you being kind to him. When you spoke, he didn’t understand you since you spoke in big words and he’s never heard them before. Although, he did pay attention to your actions. They were all full of meaning, you didn’t do something just to do them. You were full of kindness, and confidence.

After that, he felt a little need to not be mean to you and challenge you. He did steal your food still, he did sometimes bother you. While you were taking notes, doing science experiments, testing methods, working with poison, he’d sometimes mess something up.

Imma be honest- when you were trying to write your letters he sometimes messed around with your pen like a cat and he wouldn’t shut up with questions.

When you realized he didn’t know how to read or write, that’s when you began actually acknowledging him. You held some sort of pity with him. Especially after hearing his backstory, you wanted to expand his brain a little more.

He didn’t really like it at first, he hated learning. He’d doze off, he’d forget so easily. That is, until-

“Seriously? You can’t even do this? There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to.”

That’s when he took up the challenge. He wanted to be the best of the best, and he began trying his best to learn to read or write.

When he learned to write his own name, that’s when you celebrated. You hugged him tightly, praised him, and that really boosted his ego.

You were so smart, and him knowing you were the most intellectual above most people, it drove him to do his best. Seeing how proud something so small made you, it made him want to make you even happier.

After every mission he’d make sure to spend sometime learning from you, small math equations, small science facts. When he realized everything was made of atoms- it blew his mind.

You began finding him attractive. His little success made you want to make him better, spend even more time with him, have him. Eventually, when he came to you asking why he felt the way he did, you explained to him what he was feeling was love.

Inosuke and you began having a relationship after that.

Now, you two spend some time reading children books with him cuddling up to you. You reminded him a bit of his elder guardian, you always gave him such an explosion of happy emotions.

When you went off on your tangent about science, complex math, screaming your cute little rants about literature, he got so happy to see you happy. He wanted to see you do those rants more.

Now he was working to make you happier than anyone else could.

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[vcg73]

Witch!Kurt Chapter 41: Dearly Beloved

Just a happy wedding day!

~*~*~*~*~*~

After eating his fill of the mismatched buffet that his new sister-in-law had Conjured, sampling everything from chicken-and-waffles to bangers-and-mash, followed by a 90 minute sofa-nap in Adam’s arms, Kurt was more than ready to make his wedding day official.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have Finn, or Fam, or whatever they’re calling themself now, take over as Best Man?” Elliott asked. “It isn’t that I don’t want the job, but I already stood by you for the first ceremony and Adam is having his brother for both, so with you finally getting your own brother back, I kind of thought…”

Kurt stopped the selfless offer with a hug-tackle, surprising a laugh out of his best friend as Elliott caught him and stumbled back a pace. 

“I love you, you know that?” Kurt said as he held his friend.

As he pulled away he took a moment to straighten the sparkly blue bow-tie Elliott had fastened around his neck, seeing that his enthusiasm had knocked it askew. The tie had been spell-cast to stay in its current state, growing or shrinking at need when Elliott changed in and out of his cat form. A jaunty blue-banded top hat - likewise enchanted - was perched upon his head, and the hug seemed to have done it no harm, but Kurt couldn’t resist giving it a little adjustment anyway.

“Think about all the things we’ve shared over these last few months, El.  With magic, Adam, and just day to day life, it’s been a lot! Your patience and devotion never wavered through any of it. Nobody in my life has ever been there for me in quite the way you have, especially when there was nothing to be gained from it except my friendship.  As much as I love him, that’s something that I can’t say of anyone else, including Finn. So as thrilled as I am to be able to have my brother here today with the rest of my family, you’re still the one I want to finish this standing at my side. Okay?”

Elliott was blushing at the rush of compliments. “Well, in that case, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And don’t discount your friendship as being worth all the rest, Kurt. Beyond just the witch/Familiar bond we share, you’ve always been there for me when I needed a boost, or a kick in the pants, or just someone to go out and have some fun with. Even when you were busy enough to make my head spin, you always had a minute for me when I needed one. So, seriously, ditto.”

The two friends embraced again, then went to join the family. The remainder of the coven and Sebastian had already departed to get things set up for the reception, leaving just the two grooms, their families, Elliott, and Mercedes, whom Kurt had invited to join them, fulfilling a promise made when they were both small-town high schoolers with no idea whether this day would ever  come.

Seeing that everyone was ready, Henry Crawford ordered everyone to join hands, then he promptly whisked the entire group across the city, reappearing a block from the Manhattan City Hall. There was no point in the grooms avoiding one another before the wedding, and since both young men felt that they’d already been wed during the morning’s ceremony at their apartment, this was more of a formality for Adam and Kurt.

For all the fevered anticipation that led to getting married, the legal portion was very low-key. Kurt and Adam’s party simply waited in line at the Marriage Bureau door behind several other couples and their families, then went inside when they reached the front. Kurt and Adam presented their marriage license and identifications which got them a waiting room number. Everyone sat down on a set of comfortable green couches.

“Not sure if you boys are getting married or waiting on a driving test,” Burt commented, looking a bit grumpy as Kurt and Adam’s number was called, they and their best men went to a little window to fill out some paperwork as participants and witnesses, and then came back to wait some more.

Adam laughed. “Well, it is a government building,” he said, “and bureaucracy is a largely universal experience. Plus we chose what is probably one of the most sought-after wedding dates of the year.”

Noting that he sounded slightly apologetic for his choice, Kurt squeezed his hand. “It’s romantic,” he said. “I love that we’re getting married on Valentine’s Day. It’s worth a few rounds of waiting in line to know that in a little while, you and I will be legally married.”

As he was wont to do, Adam beamed brightly at the reminder of their soon-to-be wedded state, and the reaction brought answering smiles to every other face.

 A few minutes went by and they watched as one, then two, then three other couples were called ahead of them to enter what appeared to be some sort of atrium. The last step before the weddings would commence.

“It’s almost time!” Donny Crawford said with a sunny grin that matched his brother’s. “Are you excited?”

“I am,” Adam agreed. “This probably won’t take more than a couple of minutes, but the butterflies are doing an anticipatory conga line inside my stomach.”

His father chuckled and wrapped one long arm around his younger son’s back, gently gripping Adam’s neck and giving it an affectionate little shake. “As someone who had almost given up on the possibility of this day, seeing my eldest son back among us, alive and well and standing up to marry the love of his life, I have to say that I’m experiencing a few butterflies myself. Though mine seem to have centered a little higher.”

He tapped his breastbone and Adam nodded. “Me too, Dad. Me too. And it means the world that all of you came out to share this day.”

“We wouldn’t have missed it, sweetheart,” his grandmother said, reaching across the narrow aisle to pat her grandson’s knee in affection. “Your father is right. It’s a true miracle that you’re here, nearly yourself again, and embarking on the finest adventure any two people can ever take together. Assuming they’re the right two people, of course, and I have no doubt that you two are right. I feel blessed to be gaining another grandson, and after what I witnessed this morning, I feel even more sure that you’ve found your true partner in life.”

Kurt blushed as everyone looked at him with proud and loving eyes, but he refused to allow himself to shrink back or deflect the compliment in his usual instinctive fashion. What these wonderful people felt for him was as real, as genuine, as the similar feelings he felt for all of them. “Thanks, June.”

“And we feel the same way about Adam,” Carole added, looking at her new step-son-in-law with affectionate eyes. “His bravery and resourcefulness and strength are a perfect match for Kurt’s. Without each other, I don’t believe either of you would be standing here today, and neither of these families would be whole, never mind as happy as we are now.” She smiled at her son, not even seeing the discrepancy in the blue eyes that looked back at her with such profound love and joy. They were all becoming more accustomed to the duality of Finn and Sam with every passing moment, and “Fam” seemed surprisingly at ease with their new state.

“I’m just happy to be here today,” Finn said simply, giving Kurt and Adam a bright grin. “I’m happy to be anywhere, actually. And in a little while, we’re all going to an awesome party, and then I get to go back and see Lima again, thanks to you. Life is good, brothers.”

“Hear, hear!” Celeste seconded, taking Finn, who was sitting next to her, by the hand and giving it a little squeeze.

Mercedes and Kurt exchanged a significant glance when the young man blushed at the contact and squeezed her hand back before letting go with visible reluctance. It seemed someone had developed a hard and fast crush on Adam’s lovely younger sister. The question was, were the feelings coming from Sam, or from Finn? Was Finn destined for yet another long-distance relationship, or was this just a reaction to having a pretty girl flirt with him, however unintentionally, after a long absence?  

Either way, this was not a situation that Kurt felt up to worrying about just yet, especially since Adam did not appear to have taken any notice of it. And either way, Kurt was glad to see that Mercedes didn’t seem to be upset at the sight of her ex-boyfriend – or his body at any rate – making eyes at another girl. Thankfully, it appeared that his best friend had moved on when she left the city of New York.

After a few more minutes, their number was called again and the wedding party moved into the atrium, standing there for a short while as the couple ahead of them were having their ceremony. Then they were ushered into a “chapel”, really just a largish room with benches on either side and a podium at the front. It was decorated in rainbow artwork that made the two grooms grin at each other. It was a perfect setting.

Everyone took their places. Kurt and Adam joined hands in front of the podium, behind which a middle aged woman in a black suit dress waited, and Elliott and Donny stood at their sides. Everyone else took seats on the padded benches.

 The officiant was plump and gray haired, with kind dark eyes and a grandmotherly air. In spite of the assembly-line of weddings she had doubtless been performing all day, she seemed to be enjoying the moment and smiled warmly at the young couple. She glanced down at the paperwork they had presented, verifying their names before beginning, “Ladies and Gentlemen, family and friends, welcome. We gather here today to witness the joining of Adam Crawford and Kurt Hummel in the union of marriage. This is a contract to be entered into thoughtfully and seriously, with a full realization of the obligations and responsibilities therein.”

 After the ornate rituals, and emotional grandeur of their Joining ceremony, followed by the drama of Kurt’s venture into the Void, both grooms were glad that they had opted for a simple wedding, yet as she spoke those words they nodded to one another, both very conscious of the magnitude of this moment, and how lucky they were to be having it after the long journey that had led them here.

“Do you, Adam, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

 Adam squeezed the hands he held and said firmly, “I do.”

 “And do you, Kurt, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish and protect him, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

 Eyes shining, Kurt said, “I do.”

 “And will you now exchange rings as a symbol of your love and commitment to each other?”

 Adam accepted the band his brother handed to him. The actual wedding rings were as much a match as the Joining bands had been, a unique design that was Adam’s personal contribution to this grand day. His grandmother had taken his design to a jeweler she knew and trusted in London, and brought back the result; slim but well crafted white-gold bands with black tungsten borders, each etched with fine Celtic runes that were highlighted by a pair of tiny diamonds that had been transferred from the settings of his and Kurt’s mothers’ engagement rings. Burt and Bethany – who had inherited her mother’s wedding-set - had both been happy to donate the stones once they discovered what Adam intended.

The new rings were a lovely complement to the delicate silver rings they already wore and Adam smiled at this sight of as he slipped the new addition onto Kurt’s long slender ring finger, then repeated after the officiant. “As a sign of my love, to show the world that I have chosen you above all others; with this ring, I thee wed.”

 Kurt accepted the matching symbol from Elliott and placed it upon Adam’s hand, also smiling at the sight of the two rings nestled together on his finger. “As a sign of my love, to show the world that I have chosen you above all others; with this ring, I thee wed.”

The Officiant smirked and the two grooms and their Best Men chuckled when Burt and Henry both pulled out hankies and treated the room to a thunderous double honk of emotion.

“On that note,” the woman said with a grin. “By the power vested in me by the city, county, and state of New York, it is my pleasure to pronounce you husband and husband! You may kiss the groom.”

Family and friends applauded noisily as Kurt and Adam exchanged their very first kiss as a married couple.  

The Officiant shook hands with both young men, congratulating them, and then they were swept up in a flurry of hugs and kisses from their families.

 “Well,” Adam said, grinning as Kurt passed through the gauntlet of teary squeezes and was finally returned to his side where they kissed again with resounding enthusiasm, “That was easy! How do you feel, husband?”

 Kurt laughed. “Like it’s going to take me a little while to get used to hearing that word and knowing it’s real.” He held up his left hand, admiring the new addition. “This is beautiful, Adam. I know I said so when you first showed it to me, but it practically screams ‘envy me my gorgeous and intelligent husband’.”

 Adam kissed him on the side of his face, holding his own hand next to Kurt’s. “Well, if that’s so then this one definitely says, ‘luckiest man on earth’. Or maybe just the happiest one.”

 It didn’t make sense that Kurt should suddenly feel more important now than he had fifteen minutes ago, but he did. Signing the legal paperwork and going through the wedding ceremony had given him the sense of accomplishment and completion. After all of the false starts, endless doubts, and painful disillusion of his relationship with Blaine, this moment, and his complete certainty of its rightness, felt like the sweetest of victories.

 Recognizing that the officiant had other couples impatiently waiting for their own turn to see her, Kurt and Adam led their families out of the office and back to the street. The government building had too many security cameras, and the street outside was becoming too crowded to risk traveling by magic, so Elliott pulled out his phone and called up the biggest ride-share vehicle he could find. 

Everyone squeezed into the new ride, June generously offering to pay Elliott back for the service, and headed to the Vogue Ballroom.

~*~*~*~*~

As they walked toward the reception hall, Kurt put out a feeler, pleased to note the presence of a powerful ward that obliged by parting to admit their group as each individual or couple pressed their little silver key into the waiting heart-shaped box next to the door. The ward instantly slammed shut behind them once everyone was through, telling him that the complicated spell he had crafted was working perfectly.

 A quick blink of Sight showed that the room was also properly webbed by a series of interlinked spells grounded from centerpiece to centerpiece.

 For a moment, Kurt felt extremely proud of his work. Then he forgot all about it as he and Adam were swept into the room on a tidal wave of hugs, kisses, handshakes, back-slaps, and a cacophony of congratulations. 

Everyone they’d invited who had possibly been able to come on such relatively short notice was here. All of the coven, Maggie Banks, Janice Ugambe, Isabelle Wright, Chase Madison, Sue Sylvester, Mike Chang and his new girlfriend, Artie Abrams, Unique Adams, friends from the Spotlight diner, a few more from Adam’s home town, Apples both old and new, Troy, Dale, at least two dozen friends from NYADA, and even, somewhat to Kurt’s shock, Will and Emma Schuester.  

 Kurt had hesitated to invite the latter couple, considering how painfully short-sighted his former Glee teacher had been in dealing with those gifted in non standard (or Standard) ways, and the help that wild-witch Will had unwittingly (he hoped) given to Blaine. Yet he had not wanted to start this new chapter of his life holding a grudge, either, and it had felt rude to exclude the man after he had been invited to both of his former instructor’s wedding attempts with Emma. 

 She had ultimately been the deciding factor. Kurt had always liked quiet, quirky, sweet hearted Miss Pillsbury, who was not always successful in her attempts at helping students, but was one of the few authority figures at McKinley who genuinely gave a damn about them all. She had done her best to make sure that Kurt always knew he had someone in his corner, and he would always be grateful for the care she had shown him when his father was hospitalized with a heart-related coma. That alone was worth an invitation.

 Besides, it was clear from the Schuesters’ demeanor, hugging the breath out of him and then prattling on about how proud they were, how great he looked, and how nice it was to meet Adam, all with nary an awkward mention of Kurt’s last engagement; that they also wanted to move forward. Kurt was not quite sure if he should feel grateful or annoyed by this, but he ultimately just slipped an extra layer of warding around his inner walls to protect him from any Random influence that Mr Schue might potentially project his way – indicating for Adam to do the same – and decided to enjoy the attention without searching for a hidden agenda.

 Besides, Mr. Shue really was clueless enough to think they’d all had a happy-happy-joy-joy experience together, so he might as well let someone live happily in the past while Kurt moved forward into a much better and brighter future.  

For his part, Adam simply satisfied himself with an eyebrow twitch that was worth a thousand words to Kurt’s experienced eye, then graciously smiled and shook hands with the two teachers, thanking them for coming to celebrate the big day, then moving on by inquiring after the little sibling that the Schuesters’ son Danny was clearly expecting, from the prominent bulge at the front of Emma’s adorable peach-colored dress. The proud parents shared that they were expecting a daughter in just over three months, and Kurt had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes when he heard that Will wanted to name the child Rachel. Emma clearly wasn’t entirely on board with that idea, from her uncomfortable facial expression, so Kurt knew that he was not alone in questioning the appropriateness of naming one’s child after a favorite ex-student.

They made their way through a few more well-wishers. Isabelle Wright nearly strangled Kurt with the enthusiasm of her hug, making him laugh even as he hugged her back. For such a tiny woman, she had a lot of power!  She hugged Adam too, beaming at them both as she wished them a long and happy life together.

The newlyweds took center stage on the large dance floor in the middle of the room when One Three Hill took to the stage, with Santana, Brittany, Mercedes, and Sebastian joining them as guest singers. 

Kurt and Adam first stepped into the arms of their proudly beaming fathers and did a simple box-step around the floor with them while their friends sang the Rod Stewart classic “Forever Young”. By the time they reached the lyric ‘When you finally fly away, I’ll be hoping that I served you well’, both of the older men were unable to stop tears from running down their proudly smiling faces, and by the time the song ended, each dancing couple had taken a stance that was little more than a tight, vaguely shuffling embrace. 

Then Henry and Burt handed their sons off to one another and the song changed. To the surprise of both grooms, Monica and Sebastian pulled out a pair of electric violins, nodded to one another, and began playing a gorgeous accompaniment to their friends’ serenade of the Etta James classic, “At Last”.

Dashing at his weeping eyes with one sleeve of his handsome so-deep-blue-it-was-nearly-black suit, Kurt smiled at his husband. “I don’t care if everyone on the planet told us this song was overused for weddings,” he said with a sniffle. “It’s perfect and I love it.”

“Agreed,” Adam said, sighing happily at the lovely music as he gracefully danced his beloved around the floor beneath the artificial starry night sky. “I didn’t know any of our friends played violin. Did you ask them to?”

“No, I didn’t know either,” he admitted. “Elliott told me he had a surprise for us and I’m guessing this is it. I knew Monica played a couple of other instruments besides piano, but I’ve never heard her. And Elliott and Sebastian must have gotten even closer than I realized for him to have convinced Sebastian to play for us. The guy I knew in high school used to insult singing groups who ‘needed’ instruments. Probably because New Directions usually had an accompanist. The idea that he played one, or maybe more than one, never occurred to me.”

 Adam chuckled. “Somehow that sounds about right. Either way, it’s lovely and I must remember to pass along my compliments to them both.”

As the music changed again and other couples began filing onto the dance floor, Kurt and Adam moved themselves to one side to continue under less of a spotlight, only to turn and suddenly find themselves face to face with Sue Sylvester.

Sue simply looked at them for a few seconds, seeming to note every bit of them from the bones outward, and both young men felt as if they were held in the grip of a force-field, unable to move. Whatever she saw seemed to satisfy the woman, for she stepped forward, breaking the spell by crushing Kurt in an unexpected embrace, then punching him in the shoulder hard enough to knock him a little off balance. She shook Adam’s hand and said, “Porcelain is a good kid, one of my finest. Appreciate how lucky you are to have him, don’t screw this up, and for god’s sake lay off the hair gel! Now, which way is the bar?”

Adam mutely pointed behind and to the left and Sue stalked off without another word. He self-consciously touched his hair, which had indeed been gelled lightly to give it a tidy appearance to go with his formal wedding suit. “Too much?”

Kissing him somewhat apologetically, Kurt smiled. “Just right. Don’t mind Sue. She’s just … like that.”

He laughed. “I noticed that when we met before, but I must admit that her manner takes some getting used to. I also hadn’t expected anyone to show up for a wedding reception in a bright orange track suit.”

Kurt laughed with him. “Yeah. She’s like that too. You learn to love her.”

“Well, as long as she continues to love you,” Adam said, dropping an affection kiss on Kurt’s nose as his arms came to circle his new husband’s slender waist, “She’s all right in my book.”

Kurt smiled. “She likes you too. You’d have noticed if she didn’t, trust me.” He broke off, making a pleased sound when Adam danced him closer to the buffet tables and he spotted a tall tiered tray of pastries, including a stack of white-frosted, heart-speckled miniature vanilla cupcakes that had been arranged artfully around the tall wedding cake that Johnny’s uncle had delivered as promised. Brittany had Conjured the little cupcakes just for Kurt, knowing how much he loved them, and Kurt showed his appreciation by snagging a few and taking turns eating them and feeding them to his beloved after they had paused to gain everyone’s attention and cut a small ritual slice out of the wedding cake, posing for a few photos taken by the photographer that Artie had found for them. 

“How are you feeling?” Kurt asked an hour later. It was the first time he’d had a chance to ask. After the cake photos, they had been pulled aside to pose under the graceful silver and blue archway for several more shots, both by themselves and with a variety of family and friends. They had done a bit more grazing through the buffet, and enjoyed a few more dances, well wishes, and toasts. While they hadn’t been able to arrange a formal dinner, given the short space of time this building was reserved, their guests had not seemed to mind. They had been approaching the live microphone between trips to the buffet and expressing good wishes when and as the spirit moved them. “Is the crowd bothering you at all?”

 Adam looked surprised. “You know, actually it isn’t,” he said, in a wondering tone. “For the first time since my rescue, I don’t think I’ve been afraid or uncomfortable even once today. Not when we were outside, or after we arrived here. I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve been completely surrounded by loved ones all day, or if your excellent warding has given me a sense of protection, or if this morning’s rituals have finally pulled me past the threshold of my fears, but I feel entirely relaxed.”

Kurt’s eyes were shining as he heard this news. “Oh, Adam, that’s wonderful. I knew you’d been doing better, because I haven’t felt any panic attacks from you in several days, but I was sure that between opening the Void this morning and being surrounded by so many people this afternoon, you’d be climbing the walls. I’m so proud of you!”

He grinned a little sheepishly. “So am I, actually.” He kissed Kurt lightly. “But since we both know that I wouldn’t be anywhere near this state if not for you and all of your excellent care over these past few months, let me just say thank you and that I love you with all of my heart.”

“I love you too, Adam,” Kurt said, heart in his eyes. “So much.”

A sparkle of mischief entered Adam’s eyes. “However, even if I am feeling in tip top shape, I wouldn’t object to a little fib if you want to claim that the crowd is overwhelming me and that we need some quiet time.”

Kurt laughed. “Why Mister Crawford, are you trying to get an early start on our honeymoon weekend?”

“That’s Crawford-Hummel to you, sir,” he teased back,“and I most certainly am! It’s half three already. Our hotel should be ready for check in by now.”

Grinning, Kurt said, “Let’s make one more round to thank everyone and say goodbye. I want to check on Finn and make sure he’s doing okay, since we won’t see him again before my family heads back to Ohio tomorrow. Then we’ll ask Santana to give us a quick trip home to grab our overnight bags.”

 “And then?” Adam asked archly, raising an eyebrow.

“And then,” he purred, “you and I will take a cab over to that gorgeous hotel suite your grandma reserved for our wedding gift, and I will have my wicked way with you, and you will have yours with me, for the next 48 hours.”

He punctuated his promises with kisses until Adam looked almost dizzy with joyful anticipation. “Why my darling husband, I do believe that you’re casting a spell over me.”

 Kurt grinned. “I certainly hope so.”

 The End

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 15 - Candy Page 34

==>

John finally decides to let the relevance of his story end, and enjoy that he’s made at least some of his other friends happy with his choice.  Time to read Page 34...

VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.

Preeeetty sure you’re confusing yourself with one of your parents.

Pff, actual healthy kismesis with a Tavros?  Wow, we’re getting all sorts of redemption by not-really-Vriska proxy here.

HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway. HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.” HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this. HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.

.......

Okay, having grown up with a father who suffered from serious depression and would break into tears embarrassingly easily, uh.  I can relate?  But also fuck you, that’s inconsiderate.

--Dammit, new Vriska is catching wind of old Vriska.

Vriska and (Vriska) both start shrieking at a pitch John’s only ever heard one time before. It was a sound that once accompanied the end of everything. A sound once heard the night he dreamt in anime.

Oh that’s brilliant.  If the entire Candy arc ended here it’d be great, though I know it’s not quite over yet.

==>

...Oh shit, we actually get to see what happens immediately next.

Interesting introspective thoughts!  Or, trying her best NOT to be introspective and failing.

Oh my god, SHUT UP Gamzee.  Vriska, just kill him already??

PFFF HE SENT A PIC OF IT TO KARKAT :D

Pfff.  Yeah, Vriska, TRY and ignore what just happened and how it was almost entirely your idea.

(Vriska) is so furious, she has no way of pinpointing the exact moment her intent stopped being intimidating him into silence and started being guaranteeing his silence, forever.

Thank FUCKING goodness, PLEASE kill him.

YAY he’s dead! :D  (Even though he’ll probably revive anyway because bullshit.)

Heheh. NOW we get a cross-Vriska heart to heart.

==>

Alright, a bit more John moping.  Man... this Candy section is a whole lot easier to swallow AFTER Meat than I imagine it would have been before.

.....heck.  EITHER of these epilogue branches are really fucking hard to swallow the first time around without the other’s context.

Oh huh, it’s his house from the Medium then?  Relocated and stuff?

Jake, hm.  Is Jake going to try and leave his son with John like that failed kidnapping in reverse or?

Jake snaps the elastic on his pair of red underpants. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.

Oooookay then.

JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss. TAVROS: You took me,

Jake winces.

TAVROS: And,,, you took you,

Jake’s wince deepens.

Oh, so that’s what this is!  Jake fleeing with his son from an abusive relationship.  About gosh darn time.  .....geez, how bad did it get for JAKE to finally muster the gumption to do that himself after all these years???

Jake is one whole wince now

I know THAT feeling.  Or at least feel like I do.

John you dedicate your life to keeping this child happy

JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.

:C

JAKE: Maybe you should blame me? JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once. JOHN: ...huh? JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.

YES.

This is how Vriska broke Tavros way back in the comic, by constantly denying him agency.  Jake’s been battered down the same way too, and it’s not too late to pick up the reins.  He’s already DONE that by finally leaving his genocidal wife.

There’s a bit of Page of Hope-yness to this whole disastrous Candy timeline, come to think of it?  People fulfilling others’ desires out of obligation constantly, doing what they think others want?  Roxy, Jake, Dave and Karkat... all fucked over at the aggressive whims of more active folk, rolling over when they really shouldn’t have?  Or in Roxy’s case, her CHARACTER basically SHOULD NOT HAVE IN THE SLIGHTEST?

JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?

Huh.

Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?

Yes.  You can act and change this too, John.  You almost did with the kidnapping before!  Go and take down the new Batterwitch.

Hm, Hopey thing?

JAKE: John. JOHN: yeah? JAKE: Take my hand. JOHN: what? why?

Oh shit.  Are they going to be able to FIX some of this BS with some sort of hopey thing??? :D  Probably too much to hope for but still!

Being flung from Jake’s orbit of Hope and Change

Pffff.  Had to throw in an Obama didn’t you.

...Oh.  Oh wow.  Oh we get to figure out what the fuck was up with Roxy all this time.  Oh boy.

JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care? JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?

:D

Heheh, Hope aspecty stuff.  The ability to believe that something matters even when you “know” it doesn’t.

==>

...Yeah, it’s pretty easy to relax on a dead Gamzee.

Oh cool.  These Vriskas are alike enough to bond!  New Vriska is still in her teenage unbalanced go-for-it stage, and old Vriska has been knocked down a peg by the clown incident, putting them on a close enough level to not want to instantly disown each other, unlike old Vriska and ghost Vriska.

VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.

HOW did the Mayor die?!??  Did I just FORGET that from the end of Homestuck or something??

(I mean, probably.)

Callback to the clouds in that first Jade dream John had.

(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous. VRISKA: What “Truth”? (VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks. (VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality. (VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there. (VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier. (VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it. VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out? VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers? (VRISKA): No, I mean... (VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.

FUCK did he really cause all this??? Even the Roxy shit?!???  D:  D:  D:

It’s being left vague but it IS sounding like John was actually RIGHT about all that stuff.  FUCK, if the “villain” who messed up Roxy is actually just John’s subconscious...  :C

Even if the epilogue ends right here, though, with John about to call Roxy, I can imagine it working out, though.  It’s on a right enough track there.

(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”

Mhmm mhmm.  Light n stuff.

Yeah, realizing that importance isn’t ALL that’s “important” is really, um.  Important.  Ahem.

Hm, other Vriska, that smile had seven pairs of dots, not eight.  :?

(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her. (VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything. (VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.

Indeed.

(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.

Too bad, only ghost Vriska got her reunite with ‘Rezi.  :P

(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her... (VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.

Yyyep.  As I said.  :)

VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you? (VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.

Heheh.  Yeah, you’re not going to hide that sort of thing from your sharp near-clone.

Oh cool!  She gets to see all those messages and feel turboguilt or something.

...oh shit.  Is a message going to actually get to her?  It-- oh shit.  Didn’t Terezi have her phone buzzing in her pocket and ignored it in the end of Meat or something?  Or at SOMEONE did and I thought it conspicuous but it didn’t get addressed in that side of the story and-- FFFFuck is she eventually going to see it or??!  D:

She’s GOT to have seen it before running all the way off with villain Dirk, right?? D:

==>

Okay.  You seem to be thinking clearly, Roxy.  What’s going through your head? Give us some answers.  Don’t fuck this up too much, John.

but she knows by now that it’s not her job to make him happy. That was something she gave up on years ago. But wanting to? That feeling is still as fresh as it always was.

FUCK was this all just a placid feeling of obligation to make John happy for all he did to ensure victory or something??? D: D: D:

She’s still working through what she feels about distancing herself from Jane

Yesssss

If he’s truly about to be real with her for the first time in forever,

Gosh fucking DARNIT John, you could have fixed all this DECADES AGO if you had a real talk with her ONCE!!!!!

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit ROXY: u might relate JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

:c

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are. JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it. JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life. JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally. JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault. JOHN: but even before that... JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did— JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do— JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

...Huh.

That may not actually be true, and Roxy might be about to prove how self-absorbedly reductive that is.

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

Okay YES.  If this wasn’t him, then SET HIM THE FUCK STRAIGHT.  :D

She knows more than he does, and she doesn’t need to hear it.

TELL US TELL US TELL US

YES TEAR INTO HIM he’s wanted that for so long stand up for yourself and tell us what the fuck happened and why

He’s been looking at her, really looking at her, and she doesn’t want to blink, just in case that shatters it.

Yes because he was looking for the real Roxy that would call out his BS

JOHN: i used to be so angry that you wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before. JOHN: not like i wanted to FIGHT fight, but like. JOHN: i’m just not used to this flavor of roxy. ROXY: hm ROXY: sounds to me like u just disproved ur own hotshot theory then genius JOHN: huh? ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt

YES!!! Yes his theory’s disproven!  He never WANTED Roxy to just act that way, he wasn’t the cause of this, I was hoping for that!  :D

ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now

D:

That’s....... sad, if that’s the explanation.  But it’s better than mind control I guess.  :(

JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what

Oh wow.  Now Andrew’s slamming SLAMMING of fanfics.  He’s saying “who are you to know for SURE that they wouldn’t act that way”??  That’s pretty good.

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

:’)

Mhmm, and they’re free from the heroic design arcs or what have you.  Or... were, until Dirk tore them back in again.  Tossed aside their fucking victory with his selfish... ugh.

Mhmm, Roxy’s the perfect person to explain that not being in a canon, Light-filled timeline isn’t really a bad thing.

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

Roxy thinks about time and the spirals of choice that hang just outside her periphery, and the vertigo grows.

Good advice, and hm.  Maybe there’s some Void sight kind of playing into this as well, making it easy for her to get paralyzed by indecision and she’s had to learn to work through it.

...Ooh, that was a really cool non-binary gender diatribe in the narrative text.  That’s some nice stuff.  I felt like that was missing from the Meat side, glad we got it here at least.  :D

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward. JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

Thank goodness.

YES, JOHN SHOWING HIMSELF STRAIGHT-BACKED FOR HIS SON!!! :D

Man, I wish my dad had done that instead of all the other shit he did.  At least he’s dead.  :)

(Here’s a hint in case you’re wondering why I was relieved when my Dad offed himself.)

But that’s off topic.  Let’s wrap up this epilogue already!!

==>

Page 39... only three or so pages left, right?

Pff, Karkat’s keeping them safe.

Heheh, more shitty Liberty statues.

Heheh, using them for weapons caches.

Gosh I hope they actually love each other and are mostly happy.  Jade seems happy, at least.  :(

Dammit, there go the doubts.  He wouldn’t have had those doubts with Karkat. :C

He’s standing in the Oval Office of the White House.

Oh heck yes.  Please tell me...

And over there... is something he doesn’t quite recognize. It doesn’t seem to fit in. He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.

YES

Dave doesn’t waste any time. You don’t find something like this in the Oval Office and start agonizing over whether or not to use it. He steps on the platform, and in a blink his surroundings are completely different. The centuries of overgrowth are gone, and he appears to be in some sort of crypt, boxed in by walls of smooth, golden stone. At the far side of the room, something is hanging on the wall, encased in a sort of display. It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.

HELL FUCKING YES

YES OBAMA

OBAMA: Hello, Mr. Strider. OBAMA: I’ve been waiting a long time for you to show up.

Dave’s jaw hangs open. The legends have been confirmed. As well as several key headcanons of his. Without thinking, he drops to one knee and bows his head.

DAVE: m... mr president DAVE: its an honor sir

Man, forget my past stomach clenching.  Forget my hesitations, my turbulent emotions, all the ups and downs the various facets of these Epilogue chapters have given me.  THIS is the best.  THIS makes it all worth it.  This is the best thing to have ever happened, and if I ever feel any regrets about ANYTHING that transpired in the Epilogues, I’ll feel infinitely better the moment I remember it gave us THIS.

The most beautiful scene I’ve ever witnessed.  All my liberal, economy-ranting hopes and dreams confirmed.  It’s glorious.

OBAMA: Come on now, Dave. We can’t be having that. OBAMA: I’m nobody’s king. I’m a democratically elected representative who took an oath to serve his country and his people. People like you, Dave. OBAMA: If anything, I should be the one bowing.

OBAMA.  I MISSED YOU OBAMA.  I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH YOUR TEXT AND ITS SO COMFORTING AND UPLIFTING

DAVE: mr president what i mean is im a huge fan of yours and i hope this doesnt sound fucked up but on some level i feel like ive been waiting my whole life for this moment?? OBAMA: I know, Dave.

Yes, yes you have.  Yes, we can.

OBAMA: Most people thought I was gone. But I was keeping an eye on events. OBAMA: Wouldn’t miss it for anything.

I, too, would like to have the feeling that Obama is still out there, keeping an eye on things.  Watching, smiling... providing some last background of Hope as things seem so temporarily sour.  That feeling would be amazing.

...I mean he’s still alive IRL, sure, but not Obama watermark smiling lovingly from the sky or anything like it should be.

Yes, back to reading.  Back to this glorious, definitely canon moment.  The moment we learned that Obama was with us the whole time.  :’)

DAVE: sorry if this is nosy but if you didnt die when you disappeared then how did you die OBAMA: Most of that is classified, Dave.

Pfffffff  :D

OBAMA: When I was a boy living in Hawaii, on my thirteenth birthday I was visited by a mysterious stranger. OBAMA: He was an older man with a mustache. Kind of a corny, old-fashioned, adventuring type. He tried to convince me we were related. Of course, I thought he was full of shit. OBAMA: To this day, I’m not sure about that. Maybe he was. I didn’t think much of his tall tale at the time, but what did pique my interest was his story. OBAMA: He was voyaging all over the Pacific looking for a mysterious island, which supposedly had all the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for. OBAMA: During his travels, he set up outposts all over the ocean to help with his search. Such as one near where I lived as a boy. The outpost had a laboratory, an archeological dig site, a network of underground tunnels, the works. OBAMA: One time, I snuck in there and did some exploration of my own. Somewhere in the maze of underground ruins, I found a transporter pad, just like the one that brought you here. OBAMA: It sent me to a new realm. A place they called the Medium.

Grandpa Jake of Earth A, thank you SO much for bringing us this gift.  The gift of Obama.

OBAMA: Hey, why don’t we take a walk. You’ll have a chance to collect yourself. And there’s something I’d like you to see.

:O :O :O

I am shivering with anticipation.

Ah, leave it to Obama to help Dave with the final steps of his character arc.

OBAMA: Are you sure that’s all he is, Dave?

FIX THINGS OBAMA!!!! :D :D :D

Wait, what if Obama can turn things into an actually legitimate DaveKatJade?  That would be a miracle only a god of Hope could pull off.

OBAMA: I’ve had my share of doubts about all that, just like any other man. OBAMA: And I’ve had plenty of the same kind of struggles as you, Dave. DAVE: wait DAVE: you...

Obama nods, smiles wistfully. Dave arches his eyebrows high above his shades. They stare at each other, and in the look they exchange, they seem to say all that needs to be said between two grown men on the matter.

:’)

OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals. OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality. OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is. OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.

I didn’t think we’d be learning more about the Hope aspect straight from the mouth of Barack Obama.

OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... DAVE: love??? DAVE: hold on are you saying DAVE: that...

PFFFFFFFF :D :D :D

OBAMA: She’s settled happily into the specific. That’s her path now. OBAMA: All of you have embraced that life, in this safely sequestered version of planet Earth. OBAMA: All of you until now, Dave. OBAMA: This is why you’re here. OBAMA: I believe you’re ready to wake up. DAVE: ...

:O

...this is suddenly possibly going to be getting slightly sad isn’t it.  D:

--Oh shit, so THIS is where Davebot came from.

How is he going to break things off with Jade though???  D: D: D:

...Oh my GOSH he’s just going to suddenly vanish and abandon her isn’t he.  D:

...alright, merging with his other selves, et cetera...

It defers to its greatest knight, risen anew.

Yeah that’s nice but am I supposed to pretend you’re going to say goodbye to Jade offscreen or

--ah that’s why the bot didn’t have shades, gotta use the genuine Stiller ones

==>

Page 40, and the start of this sounds a lot like the Postscript.  But we’re getting more this time, thank god.

ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole ARADIA: which is where i ended up too ARADIA: that black hole... ARADIA: thats basically you right JADE: yes. ARADIA: and when you speak of your brother ARADIA: thats lord english JADE: yes. ARADIA: and hes dead JADE: not just yet.

Oh shit.  John’s final blow didn’t kill Lord English did it.  Alt!Callie is going to strike the very last killing blow herself isn’t she.

JADE: lesser beings have so much trouble perceiving divinity in the uncanny.

Divinity?  Like, Lollipop-style divinity?  I mean, I guess this IS the Candy branch...?  But what made this so “perfect” to begin with?

JADE: this world, unlike the canonical horrors from which it is hermetically insulated, will always fail to meet the combined criteria for truth, relevance, and essentiality that would endow this realm with any real gravity. JADE: its own naturally occurring supply of gravity, rather than the artificial supply i have given it. JADE: as such, what transpires here is characterized by experiential frivolity. JADE: physically, it is cordoned off by the black hole’s event horizon. it is safe. untouchable. JADE: inescapable. ARADIA: that sounds ominous

Oh.  So this outside-of-canon timeline-verse whatever that Candy takes place in is like a trap?  For Lord English to be trapped in forever, inside not just his OWN story like we thought before but into a place where he’ll be forever irrelevant, while, like... the “Prince” and others following him for pursuit or camaraderie reasons manage to escape somewhere even different?  --No wait those people are OUTSIDE this place, in the “real” timeline/universe of Earth C. So Dirk’s destination is somewhere completely different; oh, and alt!Callie is the only one with the power to escape the black hole, to bring Davebot and Aradia with her back to quote-unquote “canon” or the closest thing to it to bring bastard Dirkbro down.

Or... something.

JADE: one could describe it as a phantasmal projection confined within my horizon. JADE: it was created by a choice that made it possible for that horizon to expand infinitely, to consume infinitely. JADE: and since that choice could not coexist with canon events, this place manifested to here to support its consequences. JADE: if this world were capable of anything either essential, relevant, or true in some stable combination, then it would perpetuate a corrosive paradox. JADE: as such, insulation from what is out there, and the inescapable well it rests in, is what protects all it holds inside. JADE: and since i am the embodiment of the black hole in which it rests, JADE: i am the one protecting this world.

Oh huh.  So when we saw alt!Callie creating the black hole out of the Sun, she was actually using John’s “choice” and his timeline split to engineer the paradox that drove that singularity’s expansion?  And so she’s going to be the lord and safeguard of all that is Non-Canon, and also seek to guide the heroes trying to save what IS Canon?

Hm!

JADE: physical destruction is one thing. JADE: obliteration of the entire canvas for all of reality over a given cosmic span is another. JADE: and yet there are even more insidious forms of destruction and subversion of life to consider. JADE: methods that are difficult to grasp for those on your plane.

Yep, destroying Heart.  Destroying Soul.  Destroying the uniqueness that drives individual agency and choices, and suborning people completely to your will and ideals without their consent or choice.

Hmm....

JADE: but longer stories have the power to draw consciousness into them. they possess arresting and hypnotic qualities which can be used by their tellers to alter the awareness of the listener.

Yep, like a biased narrator with their claws on the > prompt for characters.

JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.

Yep yep.  And by commandeering the story to his own agenda, Dirk’s been robbing everyone of a fundamental right to their own existences.

JADE: this is the sort of corruption i now must dedicate my existence in this new body to ending once and for all.

Heck Yes; returning the narrative to as objective a speakerless-ness as can be attained or simulated, and divesting the bias from agenda’d narrators that can wrest all control from the participants in a story, enslaving them and making them the author’s puppets instead of true to themselves as characters, people, etc.

--Oh my GOSH, was Dead!Jade eating the remains of Lord English at the end of that Postscript???  She was, wasn’t she?  :D :D :D

That’s pretty fucking awesome.  And a pretty fucking fair fate for him to get cannibalized by his sister.

JADE: consume his body. JADE: absorb his essence. JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world. JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half. JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed. JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.

:D :D :D :D :D

Pretty awesome!  A decent setup to a story that probably shouldn’t be told, the implied sequel that Meat invites up or whatever.  And... oh phew.

Oh PHEW.

OH FUCKING PHEW. HOLD ON.

So.  The very last line of the epilogue, the last bit:

The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Okay!  :D :D :D

So, when I read that last line, I was INCREDIBLY disheartened.  I thought that Andrew was declaring that canon would never interfere with anything again, that this was the FINAL WORD on Homestuck and everything to do with it as far as canon was concerned, and that Dirk’s crimes and such would forever go unresolved and left to the imagination.

But that’s not what the line meant.

What’s INSIDE the singularity, and thus “under” the imaginary line, is everything non-canon, all the possibility and fanfiction and dead ghosts and such who are trapped in this safeguarded realm alt!Callie created to protect them, away from the influence of any future plot danger beyond the mundane issues they create for themselves.

And what’s OUTSIDE the singularity, above the line, is canon.  A canon which actually continues, and which this line doesn’t necessarily cut short.

I don’t know if Andrew will ever continue this nonsense, maybe to show me a Rose who’s actually happy as a robot or something?  But... er, that’s not the point.  The point is that even though the story “isn’t over”, it’s left so it CAN continue, so that the final state of these ISN’T a permanent cliffhanger to be left forever unfulfilled intentionally.  I’ll still be traumatized by the state some of these characters are left in, until Andrew maybe possibly chooses to resolve some of this nonsense with later content, which he probably won’t.  Heck, this actually might be easier for him to create a new work with, given how much baggage has been left behind on old Earth and in the singularity, so all you have is a much relatively smaller cast of characters on a chase to wherever Dirk is planning to go?  But, like.  When I read that Postscript, I stopped believing anyone I saw suggesting we’d get anything after this.  Any sort of work of... you know... continuing, er, Homestuckiness from Andrew, no matter what it was.  But even just... leaving it open even if he isn’t going to DO anything about it, and having that final line NOT be an aggressive cutoff?  Is just nice.  Nicer, anyway.

And this singularity is kept safe for us to enjoy ALL of the old stuff, the multitude of possibility that the in-singularity version of Roxy glimpses out of the side of her eye.  That--

Oh my Gosh.  THAT’S also what the final line means.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Homestuck fanfiction is now COMPLETELY FREE FROM CANON.

Within this singularity, nothing has to stay true to absolutely every underpinning of the earlier comic.  Nothing has to make sense.  Nothing has to be narratively consistent with anything else, though it’s obviously more enjoyable if it is.  Truth, essentiality, and relevance may all be FLEXED as much as any individual fanfic writer needs to!  And... and earlier, before this epilogue.  When we would get Snapchat stuff of the story on Earth C.  And even before that when all we had was the ending flash.  There was still a FEAR on many parts that there was more to canon that Andrew wasn’t telling us, that whatever was in our imaginations about what may have happened was “wrong”, that any fanfic you wrote was liable to be disproven formally.  But that’s not the case anymore.  Because with that line, with alt!Callie sealing off this realm and taking just a last few soon-to-be canon-impactors out of one of its timelines, Andrew has left ALL of the earlier trappings of Homestuck, of Earth, of all these characters and ghosts and fragmented possibilities, permanently free from canon influence from the rest of time.  Meaning no Homestuck fanfic that takes place in this singularity-granted realm may EVER be busted by Andrew’s future work.  He’s done what he first aspired to do when he declared all fantrolls in existence canon.  He’s finally “killed the author”.  He’s made the very FACT of an author an enemy, to be pursued in its own canon story outside of all this.  He’s set EVERYTHING free.

Wow.  So that’s what all the point of all this was, huh?  :D

Let me read the last few pages of Candy anyway.  Where was I again?

Oh, about to click the last page.  ==>

Oh my GOD.  This Postscript is about the end of MEAT, where the Meat Postscript showed us the end of CANDY!!!  :D

Let’s hear where this shit is all going!  I’ve been wondering what realm Dirk is actually heading towards to try and start fucking up.  Reading...

...Oh, okay.  I thought I glimpsed someone mentioning something about Rose “doing Dirk’s laundry”, and I thought I just missed some narrative comment on laundry made when Dirk took Rose out of the apartment on that final trip out to Jake’s for a spaceship?  But I guess this was the scene they were talking about.  Fuck you, Dirk.

One of her more reckless shipmates chipped a tooth trying one, despite repeated warnings to stay away from the stuff.

So Terezi IS there?  And probably received that final message from Vriska to think about.

It’s a stray ruby slipper. The other is about ten feet away, down the hall. No sign of their owner anywhere.

Yep, that’s definitely Terezi.

...Oh cool, Rose’s body isn’t quite dead?  She could be returned to it or a souped-up version of it if she’s ever brought to her senses outside Dirk’s corrosive influence.

A new planet is within sensor range. She studies the millions of statistics all pouring in at once.

They’re heading for a planet?  Somewhere else in Universe C?

It’s an M-Class planet. The right size, right age, right distance from the sun. There’s no advanced life yet. It’s exactly what they’ve been looking for all these years.

Shit, a NEW planet?  For all this shit to go down on?  Maybe I don’t need to see what happens next, that sounds potentially a little boring.  The future adventure this story entails COULD just be implied and never followed up on.

Once the new race has established

What race??? Human, hybrid?? It’s not TROLL, y’all would have brought Aradia if that was the case, right?  Or is this why there are tons of trolls in Universe C that Caliborn and Calliope’s parent trolls got to incinerate ages later, seeded across planets by these assholes?

The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?

Ahhh.  Okay.  So this may INDEED be something interesting, something worth seeing.  A new session, one where Dirk is the villain, Rosebot is enthralled, and old heroes are on their way to help see him thwarted.  Along with the mystery participants of a session we’ve yet to see.

Enough time goes by that she begins to wonder if he’s asleep. But no. It’s just the irritated silence of a man who knows he isn’t currently dressed well enough to attend to something important.

DIRK: Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?

Yeah, fuck you and your anime pantaloons straight in the Yaois, Dirk Smartass.

Okay!

So that’s the end of the epilogue.  BOTH epilogues.  And... I like it.

I don’t know why.  I mean it was all excellent before, and my stomach’s still a BIT clenchy, but I like it now.  I misinterpreted things from the Meat ending, and now everything... everything makes a little more sense.  Some things seem resolved, others earned...

And... in a way I feel like I could actually oddly accept, even if there’s never anything that touches on this ever again...

It doesn’t seem “over”.  :)

[ihavenoconsistentname]

Ignore me while I spill out some of my triggers randomly I don't know I've never actually like,, said all of them?? I'm not doing it now for any particular reason I'm just rambling a lot right now so this is adding to that I suppose, plus I guess I like getting things off my chest in random text posts you dont have to read all this if you dont want and it could have triggering elements so I'll try to tag whatever triggers I feel like I might wanna tag just in case and if theres any I missed tell me

So yeah random triggers or things I just generally dislike because of past experience or some sort of effect they have on me (by the way I'm not 100% certain of why some of these bother me they just do I dont wanna say its trauma because I dont think anything here would be considered trauma-worthy?? In my case, that is);

Anything about needles going into skin or veins,, aaaaa,,, anything with talking abt that makes me feel uncomfy and last time someone made me think I would have a needle stuck in my vein for a blood test I had a panic attack (my boyfriend kinda told me I was a pussy for getting so worked up about it :( dont do that to people pleaaase,, different people are uncomfortable abt different things even if you dont see it)

Loud noises aggravate me if its multiple people being loud and obnoxious when they shouldn't be or just don't need to but it's only bad if I'm in a space that isn't too vast and that I can't just leave like a classroom where people are being loud. I wouldnt say that itself in general is a trigger but;

Sudden loud noises and repeated ones like banging on a desk or something can be a trigger for me, loud noises like that make me jump and mess with my anxiety plus I have paranoia so if it's truly out of nowhere I might feel anxious (one of my classmates bangs on desks a lot and its loud plus he sits near me in the two classes where he does it often and it really bothers me)

People showing me too much affection or showing it in a certain way when I either don't know them well enough or they just have a totally different personality than what I'm used to/comfortable with,, it makes me feel uncomfortable if a person like that would touch me at all or do something like send me a lot of heart emojis (example of something someone has done and I felt really uncomfortable because they did it a LOT)

People pretending to hit me or making it seem like they will, this one is more of a trigger because my grandma used to hit me for no reason (idk if you would consider that abuse?? I never describe it as that because I dunno it doesnt really seem like it) so sometimes if people make sudden movements near me I get scared that they were gonna hit me and if they actively try to hit me/act like they will it can give me a panic attack (like I said with the thing about my grandma plus my sister has threatened to hit me a lot so I've always been afraid of that)

People touching me when I either tell them not to or they don't get permission and they arent someone I trust or am close to,, one hug might be okay but after that I won't feel comfortable with it (another example of something someone has done!! I told someone not to touch my hair and they did anyway, I'm only okay with my very close friends doing that!!)

In addition to the touching thing, people touching me in certain areas like I dont want people touching my face, hands, chest area, or anything like that unless they've gotten my explicit permission, someone once put their hand on my chest and tried grabbing for my binder when I told them I was trans and do I even need to say how that crosses the line??

People I'm not friends with calling me certain things, not just things that could be insulting but also pet names or calling me a child,, someone irl referred to me and Alic as "children" and yeah we basically are I guess but I dont want people calling me that, only my friends can call me that?? But other than that you would need my permission to call me certain things if we arent close or friends, you are allowed to call me stuff like kiddo or a non-threatening "kid" if you want, it wont bother me, you just cant like call me random things and expect me to be cool with absolutely anything

Drunk people,, I guess that could be a bit of a trigger because of a couple things; a) my sister and her friend were drunk once and her friend repeatedly tried kissing me and I was so damn uncomfortable with it and felt violated, I still feel that even if it was like, I think last year?? I dont remember, but b) one time my sister was drunk (again) and she picked up a knife and starting coming near me with it and I started panicking telling her to stop but she kept following me with it and I was honestly afraid she would stab me, it wasnt a big knife but I was still afraid

This one is less general but when people upset teachers,, my first period teacher Ms Hamilton has her daughter Catherine sub for her when shes out and a few students make her mad a lot by not doing what they're told and she yells really loudly, which is a bit of a trigger for me circling back to the loud noises bit, I'm really afraid of when adults yell around me even if it's not yelling AT me, partially because loud noises scare me anyway and also I think it's because my dad would yell at my sister a lot because she would argue with him and that always made me come close to breaking down because I couldn't get out of the area where it was happening

Something that makes me uncomfortable is people who will try to text you often every day because I'm so bad at socializing and barely ever have good responses so when they text me too much I feel too obligated to text back and it stresses me out, only one person has done this (they also violated my touch boundaries and did the uncomfortable affection thing) and I ended up just ghosting them after a while because it was too much for me, I know that's weak but I work differently

Trigger for my paranoia is unsettling images that are just an overly creepy visual, some things I cant even describe why they creep me out, but it easily can trigger my paranoia and I hallucinate sometimes seeing creepy shadows and those things can add to it or give me anxiety so yeah I cant be sent creepy images like that,, not like gore stuff I can look at that it's just a certain kind of unsettling

Random thing I dont like sometimes is adults telling young people to act their age because typically they say it to people who are like 13 and 14 and at that age you cant expect them to be very mature yet?? Plus some of them actually do act more mature and then other adults will try to argue that they're just kids so they dont actually understand when they're speaking logically so what the hell do you want, for them to act their probably immature age or for them to act older?? Pick one and stick with it instead of adjusting it constantly for your own arguments or instead of saying act your age just say not to act like a kindergartner or not to act like a dunce or to behave better

[mowseries]

Allies Obstruct

=INTRO C: COLLAPSING PEACE=

((Courtesy of @codedhopes & @sirensniper))

<<—Previous——————Table of Contents——————Next—>>

{Meanwhile, in England…}

[It was a peaceful evening as Jack and Kate entered the quiet flat.

The siren sniper gave a smile, her eyes hidden by the sunglasses she typically wore in her Civilian form.]

Kate: An’ here we are! Welcome to yer new digs.

[The recovering newbie fighter awkwardly made his way into the living room, looking around in awe.]

Jack: Man, it sure is nice to be out of the hospital…

[It was much nicer than any place he had lived before he joined up with Greater Dusk, that was for sure.]

Kate: Rent’s been paid for a couple months, so it’s all yours.

Jack: What? Aw, geez, Miss Eight—you didn’t have to do that—

Kate: Aw, maybe not, heh. But yew deserve something nice after all that happened. Give ya some time to let things calm down.

[Since he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, he just followed the tall assassin as she gave him a run-down of the place.]

Kate: This here’s the sitting room, Ah’ guess… bedroom’s over that way; careful about the shower, they have it kinda like a large version of a sink sprayer, real easy t’ get water everywhere…

Kate: -Walking into the kitchen- It’s all pretty small—but that’s standard for somethin’ in Britain.

[Inside the kitchen, there was a large box on the table.]

Jack: ? Uh—what’s in there?

Kate: Oh, just a lil’ somethin’ t’ get ya started. -Grins-

[Jack put down his suitcase.

Despite being a member of a (in)famous (and now banned) battle team, he didn’t really have many belongings. Only the changes of clothes that had been foisted onto him as part of the contract of being a team member… which he hadn’t been allowed to read before signing, of course.]

Jack: -Puts such thoughts aside for now- Let’s see what we’ve got here…

[Kate looked on with a relaxed smile, biting down on a dart as the clumsy combatant fumbled with the wrapping paper. She let him figure out a way to open it on his own; she was just enjoying the downtime.

It was something she didn’t get very often, with her job. Nor had she ever really had anyone other than family to spend it with. But Jack—Jack was different than the others.

As the sponsors were wont to say, he was “a good”—and he deserved nice things.]

Jack: Geez, whatever’s in here has some weight to it—!

[He heaves a large hiking backpack out of the box, looking more than a little surprised.]

Jack: A backpack?

Kate: -Gleeful ping- Yeah, that’s part of it, fer sure.

Jack: Looks like—is that a sleeping bag tied at the top?

Kate: Yup!

Jack: -Inspecting the outside- Wow, it comes with a water bottle and a compass…

[He unzips one of the compartments.]

Jack: Man, you really stuffed this to the gills. Poncho, first aid kit…

Jack: —!

[He pulls out something in clear plastic wrapping, with “Nighthawk Industries” printed on one end.]

Jack: AW SWEET COOL GOGGLES.

Kate: -Amused smile-

[He IMMEDIATELY puts those on—they fit rather nicely once he adjusted the strap—]

Jack: Dude—

Jack: These are like, perfect fit—

Kate: David had ‘em custom made. They’ve got lotsa functionality. Good for protectin’ ‘gainst rain an’ wind, a’ course…

Kate: -Puts her hand to her hip, grinning like crazy- But beyond that…~

Kate: Go look out the window, why don’cha?

[Jack glanced out the window in the kitchen, and Kate abruptly turned off the lights.]

Jack: !!!

Jack: ...? What's this—

Jack: —! OoooooOOHOHO THIS THING HAS NIGHT VISION—

Kate: Bingo~

Jack: So THIS is what the world looks like to you at night! (I feel so damn BADASS—)

Kate: -Turns the light back on- Neat, ain’t it? Lady Ky made those for ya—I put her contact info in yer phone in case you’d like another job of hers…

Jack: …? Uh… -What phone, we don’t have a— - Wait a minute…

[He eagerly starts digging through the rest of the backpack, pulling out the stuffing inside it as he went.

The top of the backpack was a nicely pressed set of casual clothes, shrunk to be airtight to pack in as much as possible. Underneath, there was a small bed roll, some blankets, and a travel/camping pillow.]

Jack: I’m surprised you didn’t put a whole tent in here, too…

Kate: Pup’s still workin’ on something that will fit but be spacious when you pop it out. He says you should just get a Spinarak an’ teach it Secret Power, an’ it’ll be even better than a tent.

Jack: Heh…

[Going through the pockets, he pulled out some maps, a small radio, a burner phone, and a wallet.]

Jack: ? -Peeks inside the wallet, curious-

Jack: !!! (That is—! A lot of gift cards! And–and cash, too?) You… -Kind of speechless-

[The sniper strode over and put her hand to his shoulder, giving a reassuring smile.]

Kate: One of these days, you’ll get outta here, Jackie. Be ready for a new life, what with GD not around anymore. That’s fer you to use t’ get around… pick out a nice ride of some kind, maybe, have a bit t’ eat an’ enough fer somewhere to stay… just until ya get yer footing. It should be good for a couple months once ya get stateside.

Jack: All this is…? (This is for me…?)

Kate: Our gift to you. | } Or… most of it, anyway. Still one more thing from Felix—he said it was important, but he’s still asleep… though his friend Piers is there t’ look after him. Ya might think of stopping by—it’s an easy shortcut to an’ through the Wilderness between worlds.

Jack: Wow, Miss Eight, I…

Jack: Honestly don’t know what to say…

Jack: -Gestures to the gifts all over the table- This is… -Gestures around the living room- All this is… man, it’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me, ever.

Kate: Aw, it’s the least we can do! Yer a good man, Jack, an’ well-liked. ‘m only sorry we didn’t get all this to ya sooner.

[She walked over to the freezer and pulled out a gallon of ice cream. Jack’s eyes lit up when he saw it—but even moreso when she opened the fridge and brought out some steak.]

Kate: Let’s forget talkin’ fer a while an’ eat. M’ starved.

[Jack was more than happy to oblige, and Kate leaned back against the wall as she ate an ice cream cone with her one hand.

It was so nice to see Jack in such good spirits and properly well off after all that he’d been through. Ever since she first got to know him, she’d wanted to help—she’d grown more and more concerned for him the more he talked about Greater Dusk, about the way the team had treated him. She’d grown convinced he was in a dangerous situation, but even she couldn’t have anticipated what happened next.]

Kate: (Hmmmn…. The finals…. Still don’t have a good enough answer on what those crosses were. Malware of some sort, that’s for sure, but…)

[It was a grim prospect that required further investigation. It may not be her world, but she’d grown to care for the people in it.]

Kate: (Coding like that could cause a lot of damage.)

[She squinted behind her sunglasses, narrowing her eyes in distrust.]

Kate: (Whatever mysterious “provider” Jack said Blade was talking to is -probably- stateside… just like Blade is, that damn bastard…)

[Jack had told her that Blade had turned up dead.]

-=-=-=-=-

Jack: They....They sent it back to CherryDyn for them to look over what went wrong with him.

Jack: ....They said they found nothin', so they patched him up and kept him in for observation.

Jack: ....Then...

Jack: .......

Jack: He's dead, man. Dead.

Jack: .......

Jack: I...they told me he was...

Jack: Freakin' tortured…

Jack: ......

Jack: -turns away-

-=-=-=-=-

[…Kate, however, didn’t buy it for a minute.]

Kate: (That’s too convenient… Something isn’t right, here…)

Kate: -Broods- (That worm isn’t going to escape justice THAT easily, no sir…)

[…She was almost tempted to see to it herself, when she did come across him. But no—he had too much to answer for, and she would have to keep her head high and not sink to his level by turning away from doing the right thing.

Didn’t mean she couldn’t have the satisfaction of imagining otherwise.]

Kate: …

Kate: -Frowns and sighs internally- (…Look at me.)

Kate: (Off of work for once, and saddling myself up with another “case” that needs someone who cares…. Maybe Sis is right. Maybe I am a workaholic…)

Kate: -Finishes off the ice cream- Jack— do me a favor an’ make another cone, please…

Jack: Yeah, sure thing—

[She rubbed what was left of her right arm thoughtfully as he prepared seconds for her.]

Kate: (Not even on a job an’ I’m out there thinking like a killer…. Gotta try to remember not to let myself grow that bitter at the world…)

Jack: …Miss Eight?

Kate: Hmm?

Jack: I’ve been… wondering something…

Kate: -Accepts the second ice cream cone- Yeah?

Jack: I don't know how to word this right, but...

Jack: ...Stuff like this is kinda your thing, I know, but...why go through all this for me? I mean—I'm not anyone THAT important, and on top of that, I'm a Cherry…

Kate: …Well…. Ya… ya always treated me like a person. Not very many people do. -Looks away in thought- ‘m just Fighting Mighty Eight to them— or Artemis, herald of death. Or just a pretty face with lots of money to burn.

Kate: That means something to me.

Jack:  ...Really, huh... (I guess, with what she does…)

[There was silence for a while as Kate finished off the second ice cream cone. This time, she seemed satisfied.]

Kate: Thanks for the help, Jack. I could do it myself, but it’s awfully messy, heh…

Jack: Oh, no problem.

Kate: -Turns on the faucet to wash her hand- Well, this was a nice evening. It was good to see you settled in.

Jack: Oh—are you headed off?

Kate: Yes.

[She wiped her hand on a dishcloth as best she could.]

Kate: Stateside.

Jack: Wh—You're going back to America? This soon?

Kate: I have some investigating t’ do, Jack…. Ah’ don’t think this is over yet.

Jack: -Internal groaning- (Agh, she’s probably right…)

Kate: Things may have died down, but… somethin’ is wrong over there, Ah’m sure of it.

Kate: -Turns to face him- Y’ need t’ lay low for a while, too. I hate t’ leave at a tahm like this, but the longer it waits, the colder the trail gets. You should be safe here from any prying eyes of this world—but just in case…

[She walks over and places something on the table.]

Jack: A… is that a taser?

Kate: -Momentary twitch of a smile- (…Figured you’d just hurt yourself with pepper spray, so…) Between that an’ yer Combat abilities, you should be able t’ hold yer own long enough to call for help. -Points over at the cell phone- Either ping somebody or—couple a’ contacts in there, just a call away.

Jack: I...um.

Kate: Yes?

Jack: Look, I appreciate the gesture, Miss Eight, just—do I really need this thing, I mean, it's a little much—

[The Mighty Number works her dart over to the other side of her mouth and tilts her head just so, giving the CDN a look that said otherwise.]

Kate: ....

Jack: …Right, stupid question—

Jack: Thanks, I guess...

Kate: Hmm hmm. Yer welcome. Ah' better git goin' nao.

Kate: Stay safe, Jack Parker.

Kate: I’ll be in touch when I figure things out.

Jack: M'kay. Don't go do anything too crazy, alright?

[She gave a characteristic grin, slowly fading away from sight. There was the rattle of the front door, and then she was gone.

Jack takes another fresh look around his new home, rubbing the back of his head quietly as he sinks down into the couch. He couldn't help but wish Miss Eight would've stuck around a little more, but it wasn't like he could stop her.

She's got her mind set on things for his sake, too.]

Jack: (…Guess I better start looking over this stuff…)

<<—Previous——————Table of Contents——————Next—>>

[atomicblasphemy]

Chamomile {Part II}

Eda and Amity share a cup of tea

“Wh-what you mean how long?”

“Okay, first of all, calm down. Come on, after me, take a deep breath. Let it out. Slower. Good. No need for you to be this nervous, I wont tattle on you, or try to get it out in the way.  This is no trial. Whatever Luz decides, I won’t interfere. You feeling better now?”

Eda sounded comforting, the content of her words still a bit loose in Amity’s mind. The girl just nodded as she follow her senior’s instructions. To the girl’s surprise those proved rather efficient.

“Good.  What I meant was how long have you been having those feelings for my daughter – well, surrogate but still - and how long until you decide to actually do something about it?”

“I… Am I seriously this easy to read?”

“Yup.”

“I…” Her secret out, Amity opted to preserve her dignity. Worst case scenario was Eda outright denying Amity any hope. But she seemed sincere enough in her promises not to interfere, Amity decided to take a leap of faith and indulge the woman. “Since grom, I think. I mean, that’s when I really couldn’t call it anything else. As for the last part… I don’t really know.”  A question still burned inside the girl’s skull, however. “But if you said you don’t plan on getting in the way, why are you asking?”

“You know, Amity? I was actually meaning to have this chat with you for sometime now, probably ever since I noticed you and Luz were getting closer. If you don’t want to today, that’s fine. But I really think we need to do this. You don’t need to answer me anything you don’t want to, okay? The thing is, I knew your parents well enough, I know what they can be like, what they are capable of. And I know someone who becomes, at least, friends with Luz can’t be as bad as them. You are a part of the life of some I deeply care for, a part of her life she deeply cares for. I just want to get to know you better.”

“A part she… cares for?”

“Yup”

“Wow...”

“Titan, you’re that far deep? Look, Amity, you better not expect me to give you any kind of insider information or anything along those lines, you’d be very disappointed. That being said, I can tell you this: she cares about you, as her friend, like she cares about, I don’t know, Willow, or Gus. And I can also tell you my personal opinion, but that I’ll do later.”

“Yeah… That’s what she told me that night, before we fought Grom. ‘That’s what friends do’, or something like that.”

“Eh, cheer up. Friend is halfway to the title you really want. Girlfriend, I’d imagine, right? So hey, better than nothing.”

Amity, to her surprise, chuckled. The strand of green that stubbornly made its way back to obscure her vision remaining in place.

“I guess. And thanks. But… I still don’t get it. I mean, I don’t get why I’m here.”

“I just asked out of curiosity. Honest.”

“I mean, I don’t get your curiosity, but that’s not what I mean. I don’t get why she’d see me like that. I’m just, I don’t know… surprised, I guess. Surprised she’d see me like that, invite me to a sleepover, make plans with me instead of just keeping me away. It makes no sense. I’m happy for it, but it still makes no sense to me.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“I mean, you were there was the day she first snuck into Hexside and pretty much botched my abomination presentation, then there was the covention, that night at the library. I wasn’t friendly with her back then. And you remember what happened that day, with Willow, with her best friend. I made enough to her and to her friends to make anyone want to stay away. I just don’t get why she won’t, why she pulls me in to her side.”

“Kid, you were her protege and by what she told me you two didn’t part ways in the best fashion possible, so you’ll probably not be too happy to hear this… But you really remind me of my sister, Lilith. Actually, you also remind me a bit of your mother. And your father. And, I don’t know, even a bit of myself a little, I guess… You strike me as a confused kid, that’s what I’m trying to say. And going by our interaction today, and all those other times, the covention, the knee, grom night, going by what Luz tells me about you, and what I know about your parents as people, I just don’t think you are getting any help with that, and that stuff can be tough to deal with on your own. I mean, each and every single one of those days left me with a different impression of you. You’ll probably become a more frequent part of Luz’s life from now on, whatever the nature of the relationship between the two of you become. I might as well adopt yet another dumb kid then, I kind of feel obligated to at this point. Put you under my wing, offer you the help you may or may not be needing. So, let me ask you again, what’s stopping you from asking her out?”

“I… No one ever told me anything like this… Thank you… Really. But, honestly, I don’t know how to answer that. Do I really remind you of Lilith? And of mother and father?”

Surprisingly, with the cat out of the bag, Amity felt calm enough to form somewhat coherent sentences again.  She couldn’t tell if it was thanks to Eda’s breathing technique, or her unexpected motherliness, or even the tea, despite it being a little more bitter than what she was accustomed to. Eda continued, ignoring Amity’s questions.

“Let’s try it this way then, what happened when you met Grometheus?”

“You were there, weren’t you? You saw it. And I thought Luz would have told you.”

“I was, I saw, she did. But I want to hear it from you. Trust me, Amity, this is important.”

“Okay… He… Destroyed the note asking out my intended date for grom, the one I failed miserably at delivering.”

“Was it...”

“Yes, it was  for Luz. In fact, he even took the vague shape of her. I can’t believe she didn’t catch up to that, honestly.”

“She had a lot on her mind that day, trust me. That was a long night for her too, that thing showed her a lot. I’ll let she be the one to tell you about it though. Besides, she always talks about how she hardly had any friends back in the human realm. She’s an intelligent girl, but let’s just say social intelligence is not her strongest suit. Your secret is safe until you decide otherwise on that front too. Anyway, you didn’t want to hear her saying no to you, is that it?”

Leaning backwards, looking aimlessly at the window, Amity searched for the answer. There was little to see there, which didn’t help her articulating her thoughts. Then again, she had been trying to answer this particular question since that day. The image of Luz’s form ripping the pink paper apart haunted her still. But this cowering pile of nerves was not who Amity Bligh was, was it? She had her poise, she knew how to carry herself, she could conceal all her deepest weaknesses and flaws. Of the possible tragedies she could be subjected too, rejection by a crush seemed of the more mundane ones.

The echoes of the many times she repeated these arguments to herself, unconvincingly, ran amok in her skull, rising, reaching her scalp, overflowing. She takes a deep breath, tucking a loose strand of green hair behind her ear, and attempts at an answer. Eda looked as though she took meticulous notice of the girl’s gesture, it hadn’t been the first time she done it that night, after all.

“That’s close, but not it. Not really. I don’t know how to put it, its just that…”

“Your hair bothering you?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Your hair, is it bothering you? You have a tic of sorts with it, you keep on tucking it it when I ask some tougher question. Like now. Did you even realize you were doing it?”

“No, not really. I normally keep it tied up.”

“Well, you do. So, Odalia dyes it for you, doesn’t she? Do you like it?”

She couldn’t help but repeat the gesture Eda just described, eliciting a knowing look from the woman. Unlike the previous question, however, the answer was clear.

“No… I really don’t. I know I don’t look bad like this. But I don’t think I really look good either, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. Not with looks though, I always had no doubts I look absolutely fantastic. Anyway, why does she do it then?”

“Color coordination. The Blight motif is green, so I should be green to, apparently. But… I don’t know if I am.”

“Amity, do you wanna hear a little story? About when me and Lily studied with your parents? I think I know why you are so afraid of Luz… Or of what she represents to you at least.”

Hearing her name, she looks up. Unlike the other times her mother and father had been brought up there was now no semblance of mean spirited humor in Eda’s voice, let alone her eyes. They were soft, understanding, sorrowful even. The woman that should the conversation continued on this lane it would become stagnant. They would be chasing their own tails, this was not what she wanted for the night. Taking the exchange as a yes, Eda proceeded.

“Believe it or not, back when we were kids me, my sister, your parents, we were kind of friends for a while. Well, maybe friends is a strong word, especially when it comes to me and Odalia, but there was no overt animosity between us, that’s what I’m trying to say. That doesn’t sound right either but lets go with that for now. Me and Al, we had a weird relationship. In one hand we were sort of each other’s confidants. No, there was nothing like that there, he never was my type, to be honest. And I seriously doubt I ever was his, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, we wouldn’t hang out so often, normally just in school really. Back then the abomination and potions tracks had a lot of classes together, so we normally shared the desk, exchanging notes and all that. One of the few people who actually laughed when I’d prank him. He had a good sense of humor. Oh… By the look on your face… That changed, hasn’t it? Pity… But no surprise, not really. Anyway, we would talk about everything really, but with time he started telling me some deep personal stuff, all unprompted. I won’t get into any details, its not my place to do that, but he wasn’t… all that well… back then. And I tried to hang out with him outside school, just to have some fun, get his mind of what was going on. But his answers always were no, and they sounded a bit off. As if it wasn’t so much that he didn’t want us to be friends, but more like there was something stopping him from letting that happen, or that it felt wrong to him for whatever reason. I never really got that. But then again, despite his… underwhelming genius… he still had his tall ambitions. Come to think of it, kinda reminds me of your relationship with Willow, judging by what I heard from Luz, and plant girl herself.”

Hearing a name she had barely thought of that night, Amity’s frame shrunk, her voice timid in her answer.

“Yeah, I guess it does… The sins of the father, huh?”

“Aren’t you a little too young to be using such morbid expressions? Well… I don’t want to get into details here, but what he would tell me… Let’s just say Al was a bit of a push over, a bit too weak willed. Don’t get me wrong, at the end of the day all he ever did he did by choice, so if you’re thinking I’m trying to defend him, know that that’s not the case. Honestly, I’m not even all that sure what my point here is, but I just feel like I should tell you all this.” Letting out her longest sigh that night, looking at a distance past Amity, Eda proceeded. “When he and Odalia started getting closer, that got me worried. Now, you see. Your mother and my sister were close, real close. Like besties. To be completely honest, I’m 90% sure Lily had a bit of a crush on her, but she never admitted to it. And yes, I did try to blackmail her once because she just wouldn’t  confirm it. No, I am not proud of it. Anyway, I don’t know much about it, but they were pretty close. It was right before Lily cursed me, and I can’t help but feel like your mother had something to do with it. But I digress. Focus, Eda. So… Odalia, she was a special case. Like a shark in a fish tank, you know. Not a particularly strong shark, but she’d sink her teeth in if you weren’t paying attention, strong enough, and way smarter than any of the fish. She had her own way of being a menace and that terrified me. Me and her, we were cordial to one another, I was already showing that I had more than a bit above average magical power. And, again you can ask Bump about it, I was very much not afraid of getting into a few brawls if necessary. I had raw strength on my side, but I had the gut feeling that if I were to ever get into a fight with her I wouldn’t exactly lose, but I definitely would not win. We were both put a bit off by each other, and… You know, I have been reading on human history since Luz came to our realm, I have a few books I collected from my excursions there over the years. They had something called a cold war. Two nations that absolutely hated each other, two worldviews that canceled each other out, two powers that could obliterate each other if they were ever to go to war, possibly even end life itself. A standstill by definition. I think me and Odalia were something like that, if in our own scale. I’m not saying she was a sociopath or anything like that, nor that that’s the case with me, I’m just… very much not ruling that possibility out, with her, I mean. I’m pretty sure I’m not that. Seriously, I swear, she can be more intimidating than Bellos. And I think I’ve only seen him really angry once, but so can Al, if you push the right buttons, that is. But I’m getting there. So yeah, I never really liked your mother all that much and I know for a fact - Al told me, Lily told me, other people told me - the feeling was mutual. And then, those two started dating.”

Although what Eda told her about her father was news, she was by no means surprised by her recounting of her mother. If anything, Amity saw them as equals in almost every sense. Eda’s eyes never met Amity’s at any point during the story.

“I never heard about any of this. I don’t think Ed and Em ever heard any of this either, they’d probably tell me about it if they did. I… I didn’t know.”

“That’s okay, kiddo. Honestly, I figured you wouldn’t have. Anyway, after they started dating Al changed. It was like night and day, really. Al stopped sitting next to me at class, stopped greeting me in the hallways, he avoided me at all costs. Funny enough, that’s when I had the most interactions with Odalia, I think. They were not pleasant. On either side. She kept pushing and pushing me, testing me. Then one day... Tell me, like half an inch above her right eyebrow, does she still have a scar there?”

Amity’s eyes grew wide.

“Wait, that was you?”

Eda smile and laughed. Their eyes still not meeting.

“Nice… And yeah, I take full credit for that. I can’t even remember what made us throw hands that day. But the fight itself, that’s something I’ll never forget. Anyway, suffice to say, I was convinced she had Alador wrapped around her fingers. That she used some freaky forbidden oracle spell she had found at back of Hexside’s library and hypnotized  him or something like that. So I went to confront him after I had given her the aforementioned ass whooping. And boy, must that have been painful to watch. I just short of begged him to leave her. You see, I always thought of Alador as an inherently good natured guy. Not perfect by any means, but a good guy. On second thought, yeah, I can’t deny I saw him as a friend, maybe even my closest one other than Lily. But yeah, it was after class. Do you remember that gargantuan abomination you summoned during your little duel with Luz at the covention, with the construction coven power glyph? Yeah, that thing was a dwarf. I don’t know how he did that, but he did. And I looked into his eyes, right before I started running for my life. That was one  of the worst things I’ve ever seen, even after all this time. All I saw was him, those were still his eyes, he wasn’t Al anymore, I couldn’t think of him like that anymore, but he was still the same person. A person that made a choice. And as I ran, he scream, I’ll never forget those words… I’m a Blight, we only...”

“… we only associate with a select few. There are… many… variations, but that’s the gist of it. I’ve said it myself a few times.”

Neither could look in the other’s direction.

“I stopped attending school after that. Not because of it though, not exactly. Don’t get me wrong, those two made sure to make hell out of Hexside for me, but that wasn’t it. The Emperor’s coven try-outs were around the corner, I just decided to focus on that and so I did. It didn’t feel right though. Specially on that last day before the try-outs, when I had learned I’d need to duel against my own sister for that position… Well, I felt more than a little bit of doubt about it. It was Lilith’s biggest chance, I knew how much she wanted it, how much she trained for it. I also knew that if I were to actually, actually, duel her she wouldn’t stand a chance. And working at the coven I’d probably just have to deal with the same kind of people as in Hexside. That turned my doubt into certainty, but I still wanted to make my decision to withdraw my chance at the coven as theatrical as possible however. And then… Well, it’s common knowledge isn’t it, how I got hit by a serious case of the curse? So I roamed for days as the beast. When I came back to Bonesborough I quickly realized I was still the talk of the town. I tried attending a few classes, but when the third rock hit the back of my head I gave up on that idea. I would walk around town, people would change sidewalks, shoot fearful or even disgusted glances at me, a few particularly bold risktakers would yell ‘freak’ at me. Lily wouldn’t look me in the eyes anymore. She had other reasons though… In any case, I had been rejected by the world I had always known. So… I traveled to the other side of the island, living here and there for some good fifteen years. I found the portal, basically my source of income ever since. When I finally came back to Bonesborough your parents had been married for over ten years, Lily was soaring through the coven’s ranks, and hardly anyone remembered who I was. Little did I know Lilith mothered that beast, that demon, in me. And that was that.”

They sat in silence for a long moment. The tea had warmed down enough for it to be drinkable. More than that, in fact. Following Eda’s motions, Amity lifted her teacup, the handle between her fingers in a practiced manner. After swallowing a small sip that could be described as timid, the girl continues.

“Eda… I appreciate it, but I don’t get it. Why did you tell me all this?”

The Clawthorne rested both her elbows on the table, the cup off to her right, her chin resting on her now intertwined fingers. She spoke.

“My point is. I know who the Blight is, I had a glimpse of her at the covention. The girl that dueled Luz that day, she is Odalia’s daughter, Alador’s daughter. As I said, all know what those two are capable of  and I hope I just convinced you of that. That green haired girl was a Blight if I ever seen one.”

Amity feared for but an instant that the woman’s image of her had reverted back to that terrible first impression she surely gave. Not even Eda’s customary sardonic grin remained. Whether it was the woman intention or not, Amity couldn’t help but feel intimidated.

“But, I’m not talking to the Blight tonight, am I? There’s someone else there. There has to be someone else there. Someone who would stand in the line of fire for my daughter, someone who stood in the line of fire for my daughter. Twice, as far as I know. I see a lot of me in you, kid. I see a lot of Lily in you. I see a lot of your parents. None of that tells me the whole story. I want to hear this from you. This is, I promise, the single most important question I will ever ask you. I know who the Blight is. What I want to know now is: Who is Amity?”

[tinyolsen]

Odds!

o 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? Sort of level but if anything more milko 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Post it notes, traintickets, bus tickets, anything tbho 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes if my mouth is open/ showing some teeth cos idk it feels weird but to quote my mate I have “a cheeky lil smile” so o 7: do you name your plants? I have a mini cactus called oucho (see ed and oucho from cbbc) o 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yes if no one is around, I was singing in the kitchen in my uni accom and the cleaner walked in, I nearly diedo 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Bert box, hughhhhhhhh and hades without any of the weird shito 13: what’s something that made you smile today? I went to a talk by sunny Jacobs and peter pringle and when they said we have 4 goats and live together, I beamed they are sooo cute (btw look them up their story is amazing)o 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Venus is 462 Co 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I wont dye it but like dark blue/ black like gabriella in hsm 2o 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do I have three, one for cute memories, one for random facts and one that has doodles in it mainly of my dogo 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My fav bag is no bag ever, cos effort to carry but my mufc hold all, has been to football tournaments, dance shows, America and back and its now under my bed at uni with spare towels and tea towels ino 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Play guitar, catch up on tv just chill, don’t think about work, go to the park and just sit and take pictures, dance in the kitchen (opps thing)o 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? I have never broken in anywhere o 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Cherry o 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? one of them does a sideways smile when you say her nameo 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love patterned socks, football socks, trainer socks, slipper socks, but I have to wear just plain black trainer socks otherwise I think someone is judging me, but I really love my monkey and banana ones they are burgundy I also just got iron man, spiderman and captain America ones from my mateo 33: what’s your fave pastry? Puff, comes ready rolled, is vegan and I use it to make cheese straws for my flatmates (I have just been told that this means pastry thing, in which case cheese straws) o 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yessssss! I just bought purple and blue highlighters cos I had to get rid of my old ones (long story) and they are awesomeo 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I like it lived in but not messy, and clean o 39: what color do you wear the most? blacko 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, its just inspiredo 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Someone who I dated for a bit but id like to forget that plsssso 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? lol noo 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Custard o 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? Not really cos I often don’t like full albums, unless its Rumors – Fleetwood mac but I bought when you love someone (acoustic) – James TW on itunes if that countso 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? My brother and little things cos we have a funny joke with it (funny to us)o 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, no, no , yes/ loved it, n/a, n/a, and loved it.o 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? eaten a tub of ice cream to prove that I could bite ice cream for more than just one bite, I stared the girl in the face and bit every spoonfulo 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Awake, course, you are lying if you say you don’to 59: what’s your favorite myth? The Trojan horse was the first one I ever learnt in year four and it will always be my fave, but Icarus and Daedalus comes closeo 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? This all happened this Christmas, I gave my dad a mug saying “im retired (emphasis on the tired)” and my mum gave me bin bags (im an excellent gift giver just ask my family, I out do them all every year) o 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?  As long as the books are upright with small in the middle, large at each side idm, and my music is on specific playlists on my phone (i.e fast walking playlist, chill walk playlist)o 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Quite a few people from school, and the three awesome people who made my dance class epic (going to uni and leaving them sucks)o 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Awesome, if im okay anyway cos its so prettyo 69: what are your favorite board games? Monopoly cos I rule at it, block us and scrabble with my grandparents cos they like to use non English words/ made up oneso 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? Good ol’ cuppa (Yorkshire tea bags) o 73: what are some of your worst habits? I isolate myself, blank out, cant react to other peoples emotions and I pop my shoulder in and outo 75: tell us about your pets! Omggg, Alfie the cute lil puppy is my bae, hes the light of my life, hes a cavalier king Charles spaniel and he’s the best boy, the only guy bar my lil brother I trust. And then my rabbit, leon the lion lop, died just before xmas, I miss the lil fluff but he was the cuddliest thingo 77: pink or yellow lemonade? After learning that this probably means American style lemonade, yellow. But uk style, lucazade pinks one is pengo 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My best mate gives my the best handmade cards all the time, that and a date gave my guitar picks with my name on onceo 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. grey pebbles imagine if you put the clearest water blue stripped though out it or a grey and blue stepsil mushed together o 83: what’s some of your favorite album art? Idk tbh not gonna lieo 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? On and off, and probs the one amazing fantasy ive reado 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Dead poets society, 50/50 and some others I cant think ofo 89: are you close to your parents? Ish, um naho 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Back home and idk where else yeto 93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Side parting and just brushed, nothing fancyo 95: what are your plans for this weekend? Do uni worko 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Infj, Aquarius and ive had Hufflepuff, ravenclaw and Gryffindor in recent weekso 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Scars to your beautiful, facing west cover and halo- lewis Watson

thank you :)

[g5b3ysjw-blog]

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