#he’s not gonna get more arena tours like this that he loves sooo much

[releaseholiday]

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[mariosomething]

MISTAKES I MADE AS A COMIC OR NOTICED AS A BOOKER...

(NOTE: Never say never, but I can’t imagine getting back on stage again. However, now that comedy is returning to clubs--and potentially booming here in Austin--I think this is worth repeating. Especially #15. Enjoy!)

So, I might be hopping on stage again for my own, personal reasons. Number one being distraction from the crushing loneliness that comes with self-employment. Woo! On the first page of my newly-purchased comedy notebook, I started making a list of things I don’t want to do this time around. The comic I don’t want to be, should I continue performing. Getting in my own way with unfounded beliefs about my abilities or lack thereof. I will—NO DOUBT—repeat some of the following blunders out of muscle memory, and if you catch me doing so, by all means, call me out! In no particular order:

1- Worrying about who’s heard this bit before. One cure for this is to never stop writing new stuff. Also, it’s the JOB of a comedian to repeat the same shit with the same zeal and sincerity for different crowds…crowds that probably don’t attend comedy shows as often as we perform on them.

2- Worrying about making the comics laugh. This is still the hallmark of a great comic to me…the person we’ve all seen before but stop the chit-chat when they get on stage. It’s the opposite of a “crowd-pleaser.” In a perfect world, I can please both—as some do—but ultimately, we don’t get paid to make the back of the room laugh. If I’m building a half-hour, those comics may ‘check out’ during my set, and that’s to be expected. If I concern myself with their approval, I’m ignoring the audience, and by extension, disrespecting them. THEY bought a ticket. They deserve my best attempt.

3- Starting your act with a risky joke. Are there exceptions for these “rules” of mine? Absolutely. But they are just that…exceptions. This one always drove me nuts when I ran the Velv. Especially when the rest of one’s act is relatively benign! Would you lead with your “crazy” on a first date? Talk about all of your flaws on a job interview? Or with music you like…if I wanted to get you into Tom Waits, I’m not gonna recommend The Black Rider—an album only die-hard fans might appreciate. I’d start with something accessible, like Small Change or Rain Dogs. Get them on your side first with your palatable stuff, then give ‘em what you want. (Now go listen to Tom Waits’ Small Change and Rain Dogs.) 

4- Worrying about looking stupid. This is the big one for me. Even though I KNOW the audience WANTS us to look foolish; even while I KNOW they want us to be both vulnerable and confident about it, I have a crippling fear of embarrassment. And this is NOT a good quality for any comedian. I learned that words account for only 7% of communication. The rest is body language, facial expressions and tone. I’ve always hidden behind my words, and have given up on bits that require me to be more animated. So dumb. Which leads me to…

5- Not doing enough ‘act-outs’ in bits. When I watch amazing comedians, they all have this in common. They perform or act-out dialogue. More show than tell. They don’t just recite jokes or one-liners. Even Steven & Mitch & Todd do/did act-outs in their own, low-energy styles. When you start looking for them, they’re everywhere. So much rolling, sustained laughter derives from act-outs. They don’t have to be BIG, they just have to be well-delivered.

6- Writing what I think they might like, not what I like. Another big ‘duh’ but worth repeating. I fell in this trap on the road. I was lovingly told to “write a dick joke already!” when I was a new, quasi-clever comic. And man alive, did I ever make up for it! Some may have had a fake nose and mustache, but they were dick jokes nonetheless, and I wasn’t proud. But they got laughs, and more laughs meant better comment cards, which meant return visits. Awesome way to remain a road comic…shitty way to evolve or get industry to pay attention. It’s also a fast track to burnout. If you’re not doing stuff you like, resentment builds and ambition wanes.

7- Not having goals. A new, tight 10 minutes is my goal today. If that goes well, a new 30. Then maybe an album. When I DID have things to strive for, they “magically” happened. I kept comedy goal lists on my wall, and most came to fruition. Then I got in my head and stopped making those lists. The more I was learning about the biz, the more inadequate I felt. I stopped writing, stopped going to mics and eventually stopped touring. With no new goals, I lost steam and confidence. I was a competent middle, but a spotty headliner…THAT is my ceiling for now. I’d love to be a rock-solid, reliable closer with at least one killer album to show for it. It’s feasible, but I need to start with that initial aim of a new, polished, consistent 10 minutes that I like.

8- Not watching more pros. Something that baffles me about so many new comics. You have the option to catch A-list comedians for FREE at Cap City, your home club, etc…why would you not take advantage? You learn by watching pros, even if it’s what NOT to do. Or what’s being done to death. You can learn structure, pacing, opening and closing. I used to watch comics I knew I wouldn’t like, but came away with respect for how they did things. People forget or don’t know that the late, great Bill Hicks used to be a clean-ish, set-up/punch kinda comedian. He learned the rules so he can break them effectively. Even at his viscous best, he was still super-polished. It’s respect for the craft, dammit. All of your heroes have it.

9- Getting jealous of your friends’ progress. There is sooo much leap-frogging in this business, there’s no need to denigrate yourself for not keeping pace with a peer. “Comedy is the closest thing there is to justice,” according to Colin Quinn, and I 100% agree. If you’re funny, consistently funny, you will get work. Period. When producers run and book shows, they want reliability more than anything. There is no island of misfit-but-actually-brillant comedians out there, waiting to be discovered. Funny gets noticed by EVERYbody. If you’re not getting booked, start looking inward. Seriously. When Cap City demoted me from headliner, I didn’t fight it. I thought they were right to do so because I knew my 50 minutes was about 15 shy of reliable material. Challenge your beliefs about your own act. Maybe you’re better than you think, but maybe it’s just the opposite. It’s worth asking, “What am I doing wrong?” if you’re having trouble getting past open mics. Maybe you are indeed funny, but still too green or inconsistent. Maybe you had a bad showcase set and your friend killed. Your friend may get Montreal before you, but you might get a manager first. You just don’t know! Keep plugging away, because there’s too much out of your control.

10- Not being humble. Jeezus H. Christmas, where did all of this unearned confidence come from?? Not only will I never relate to this, I will continue to chastise and scoff at it. Don’t assume your shit is crushed fruit, especially when you’re new. Don’t trash talk other comics, it WILL bite you in the ass eventually. Or immediately in some cases. Don’t think you’re immediately entitled to the same things that other comics took years to obtain or achieve. There is always something to learn, even from people you disagree with…it’s the definition of being open-minded. There are comics I detest personally, but goddamn if they aren’t great performers/writers. And I’ll probably get push-back for this, but I never called myself a “comedian” until I was able to quit my day job. Until that happened, I was just a dude who “did comedy.” I wanted to earn that title, don’t you?? Skip the business cards and build your act.

11- Not taking chances on stage. I’ve heard from too many comedians that if you’re always killing up there, you’re not taking chances. When I booked a room, I wanted to reward comics who tried new stuff every open mic, or was tweaking it. If a comic kept going up with well-worn bits, I ignored them for a few weeks or longer, even if they got laughs. It’s open mic, the point is to experiment! When I worked the road, I stopped doing mics when I was back in town. Big mistake. I was afraid to try untested jokes in clubs on the road, and too lazy or complacent to take chances at open mics. I stunted my own growth. 

12- All agenda, no punchlines. I remember watching a well-known comic in NY struggle with Jesus jokes. He could NOT have been in a more welcoming arena for such, but he wasn’t funny, just angry. So he said, “Oh, I guess you guys don’t like religious jokes,” To which my friend replied, “We do! We keep waiting for one.” I think comedians can be the most insightful people on the planet, and the great ones don’t berate, they put funny first. It just makes sense! If you really really really want your message to be heard, then it’s in your best interest to make it funny. Funny cuts through. Or maybe you just wanna use the stage as a soapbox, in which case, quit comedy.

13- Not presenting both sides. I once told an established headliner he couldn’t return to the Velv, despite the numbers. In fairness to us, it was Valentine’s Day weekend, we were packed anyway. He never gave me a chance to explain why, but here’s why: he was too angry about women and wasn’t self-deprecating enough to balance it out. Conversely, I had a female comedian come through a couple of times, and the bulk of her act is male-bashing, BUT, it’s tight and well-crafted and funny as shit…AND she sprinkles in enough self-effacing humor so as not to divide the crowd. If the guy I banned was her parallel, I would’ve re-booked him. But I’m a freak about balance. While I don’t believe ANY person or group of people is above criticism, you can’t just point fingers at others while patting yourself on the back.

14 - Not putting more of ‘me’ in my act. Trends are fun as a reference, but full bits built around them have a tiny shelf life. It’s fluff and filler at best. Relationships will never be hacky. Aging will never get old. Folks! We all have specific quirks or approaches to life in general, why not explore those approaches? That’s when a ‘comic’ graduates to ‘comedian.’ When they stop saying funny things and start saying things funny. Not my line, but damn accurate.**

15- Knee-jerk hating and never asking WHY? Okay, this one’s a personal lament. When I found comedy, I found harmony. Anyone funny was welcome. I didn’t see us as men or women or gay or straight or black or white, we were comics, and I fucking loved it. We were equals from every walk of life, and no jerks allowed! I found a circle of curious, liberal-minded pals who were always asking why. Friends who would call out each other’s bullshit or hypocrisy or bad bits, then laugh about it at Mugshots. Friends who preferred brutal truth over blowing smoke. It was bliss for someone who values sincere feedback and funny, earnest people. Comedians we respect and adore are always challenging norms of behavior and tradition. Pryor, Chapelle, Carlin, Rock, of course, but even Larry David, who’s the king of offending people by rejecting small, societal niceties. 

I’m starting to see too much division and moral cowardice in comedy--on and off stage--and this is antithesis to its value, in my opinion. Everything I hated about high school. Cliques and whispers and spiteful exclusion. I will echo what I wrote earlier: NOBODY IS ABOVE CRITICISM. This is the salty to the sweet of “Everyone welcome.” Comedy is a LOT of failing, tons of real-time rejection, and that SUCKS. But if you think it has anything to do with anything but your act, you’re not asking Why. It’s easier to say, “Well, it’s clearly ‘cos I’m ________.” Really? Maybe it’s ‘cos you’re not funny, or not funny YET. Maybe it’s because you haven’t written a new joke in months, or refuse to change the ones that never work. Maybe you think there are no rules to comedy, and you can just get up there and people will love you because so-and-so does it that way. Maybe you don’t have so-and-so’s natural talent or likability. Or work ethic. Or self-awareness. If your first response is to blame a crowd, a booker, society, or whatever, ask yourself: are there successful comics who look like me? Why them and not me? What are they doing differently? My first guess is: they’re addicted to the craft so they keep their head down and write and tweak and fail and ask why and learn from mistakes. Stop complaining and start paying attention. At the end of the day, you and you alone are responsible for your career. If you believe women aren’t funny, I pity your ignorance and sheltered life. If you think men have it easier, tell that to the thousands of male comics who go nowhere in this business.

Maybe I’m an idealist hippy dippy doofus, but I believe that what we admire about others is pretty universal stuff. Regarding comedy, we all like someone who’s fearless on stage. Confident but not cocky. Capable. Quick. Genuine. Someone who keeps writing and honing their act. Someone who connects with people. Someone who comes back once a year with 30 new minutes. Someone who plows forward, not consumed with the opinions of others. Are these gender or race-specific qualities?? Hardly. And when you’re a top shelf, A-list comedian who’s paid their dues, it’s all preference at that level. It’s Gin vs. Vodka vs. Bourbon vs. Tequila, no one is “better” than the next. Maria Bamford is Bill Burr is Dave Chapelle is Carrot Top. They’re all pros who never stop working.

I’ll leave you with this…Comedy is a powerful and special thing, and I’ve always been crazy-grateful to be part of this tiny, uniquely rewarding world. Even if this experiment crumbles after a few months, even if I can’t vanquish some personal demons, it’s been a pursuit I’ve yet to regret. If you’re just starting out, or five years in, or going on the road, relish every minute. Meet all the people. Make all the friends. Get over your fears, get over yourself and get better. xoxo mario 

**This is how I first heard it. Comic/comedian or vice versa. You get it. Though I personally feel that “comedian” sounds more like an official title, while you can’t spell “comic” without “mic.” Just sayin’ is all.

[thunderoad]

People keep taking the jokes Niall makes about 1D too seriously.. of course he’s gonna get tired of questions about his band.. it was fun and fine when he first started out and had barely any music out but now he has a whole album with another probably on the way so why not ask solo related questions now?

dude, I KNOW. nobody wants me on this soapbox so I won’t spend too much time on it, I just think it must be sooo frustrating still to be getting questions abt 1d. he’s said a reunion isn’t out of the question, so honestly, what more do you expect him to say? in case you haven’t noticed, he’s busy touring the world in support of his #1 debut album! (woo!)

he works his lil ass off promoting, rehearsing, and performing this stuff he’s had such a heavy hand in, it just can’t feel good to be hit over the head with 1d at his own soundchecks, his own M&Gs, and his own shows. even when it comes from a place of love, how do you think /he/ feels about it? and on a personal level, I much prefer niall on his own to one direction, so I hate the idea that he thinks the general consensus is that he’s just killing time till 1d comes back. tbh, I’d prefer it if they never did, but even if they do, the things each of them do solo matter outside of the context of 1d that’s relentlessly forced on them. maybe with a little time to breathe there’d be space to miss 1d, but as it stands, u can’t go a day without being hit over the head with it.

so rather than focusing on that, why not ask him about what it’s like touring the world on his own, singing his own songs, getting out to sight see, receiving offers to collab from ppl he never expected, where he hasn’t been that he’d like to go, what he’s been listening to, how his band has impacted his songs, who he might like to work with going forward, what makes some shows better than others, whether he prefers amphitheaters to arenas, if he writes with an acoustic guitar or an electric and how that impacts arranging the rest of a song’s instrumentation, who’s on his bucket list to watch perform, if he likes concert movies and whose has been a personal fav, what concert he’d go back in time to watch if he could, how he feels about post-punk and modern country and whether he even thinks about music by genre…and I could easily go on!!

[sketchguk]

Hiiiiiiii Teresa how are youuuuuuuu? It's Anjie! I thought i wouldn't be able to send asks now without account bcuz everyone was talking about it, but it works okay for me 😭 What are you doinggggg? Are you excited for got7's cb???????!!!! I'm so excited I feel bad I deleted before the cb 😭😭😭 I liked all the concepts pics sooooo much 😔😔😔 What did you do this month?? Are you and cara having lots of fun without me 😔😔 alsooooo I went to that icecream shop again aha ! I go there sooo often now, it's an obsession 😭

Anjie 😭 How is it only possible for you to contact me and not the other way around. This doesn't feel like a fair tradeoff LOL

I'm having a good time !! I went to the Harry Style's pop up shop, and I saw Keshi in concert last night 💛 It was my third time seeing him !!!! I love him so, so dearly. Oh! I also went to the movies and watched Everything Everywhere All at Once. I cried <3 I've never felt so SEEN. I'm loving all the Asian-American immigrant stories these days, especially the mother-daughter relationships in Chinese households ;n; I read the Joy Luck Club earlier this month, and I watched the film along with it. aapi month is for me to air out all my grief without ever having to confront my parents <3

UHM I also joined a group order for the carat version of face the sun (literally like 30 min ago).. can you guess which member I requested for the sorting??? You know how much I love my cat boys, right??!! 🐈 I also put Cheol and Seok on my preference list in case they don't have a Jun album for me hehe. I debated all morning about making an 8.40 album purchase, but my mom was talking to me about stocks over breakfast. I own some shares in Apple as of late, but now she wants me to get Google???? She thinks I can own a share of Google?? Mom.. 8.40 was making me sweat !!! Regardless, I'm excited for the comeback fully knowing I'm going to be broke 💛

Ah, and I'm gonna aim for their tour tickets !!!!! They're coming to New York and New Jersey !!!!!!!!! I'm annoying the hell out of my friend by begging him everyday :') BUT, he should be delighted to drive me to the arena >:(. I'm just a gorl with no driving capabilities (although I've thought about getting my license more and more lately)

The got7 cb is today !!! The concept pics were so, so prettyyyy. I haven't given it a listen just yet, but I SWEAR I WILL. I'm dedicating the afternoon to them LOL. Let me know what you think about the mv ! And the rest of the albummm

It's Cara's exam season, so she's been away 😭 Taking her seasonal Tumblr break ✨ If she was here, she'd talk about Mingyu and curse out Soonyoung in my dms LOL

Omg the ice cream shop !!!! Ice cream is what you deserve. Did you try any new flavorss??? It's getting hotter and hotter by the dayyy

What have you been up to lately?? How are the doggos?? Pls come back to Tumblr 😔 Or Discord 😔 How will I ever send you messages when I wish? 💔

[neverenoughpie-blog]

Eliana DuPres‎ to Zachariah Wolf [text] Pizza? With cucumbers on it? And ranch dressing? Pleeeease?

Zachariah Wolf [text] anything else?

Eliana DuPres [text] A naked boyfriend.

Zachariah Wolf [text]...not with that pizza around.

Eliana DuPres [text] Noooo. With the pie after.  😋

Zachariah Wolf [text] do we have pie?

[text] Nooo. Gonna need pie. And pizza. And a naked boyfriend.

Zachariah Wolf [text] anything else?

Eliana DuPres [text] Nope. Should cover it. I love you.

Zachariah Wolf [text] I love you too but if I come home and we need something else, my dick is staying in my pants for 2 weeks.

Eliana DuPres [text] Nothing else. Though I quite like it when you threaten me. But you forget, I can get your dick out any time I please.

Zachariah Wolf [text] nah, I can be greedy with it if I so please.

Eliana DuPres [text] Nooooo. No greedy. I'm the brat here.

Zachariah Wolf [text] I know how to play the game.

Eliana DuPres [text] Come hooooome.

Zachariah Wolf Arriving later with pizza hut as it was the only place he found find such customization options. A bag in the other hand from the store as he managed to open the door all while supporting the contents with one arm. Holding it open as he passed into the space and letting the door falling behind him summon Bowser to his entrance as he walked towards the dining space of the apartment.

Eliana DuPres Laid up in bed, she had the phone still beside her to one side as Bowser took up the other side of the bed. When he moved, abandoning her, she got up, knowing it meant Zach was home. Emerging from the room in just one of his Marine t-shirts, she made her way towards him. Once the pizza and bag were down on the table, her hands were to his sides and her face was to his back. "Thank you," she offered, her hands working against his shirt to lift it up.

Zachariah Wolf "You're welcome." he answered with ease, eying the fridge where the beers lived before he felt her up his shirt. Glancing back curiously towards her where his brows lightly furrowed. "I'm sorry, you lose something up there?"

Eliana DuPres "Nope," she offered with confidence as she lifted at the fabric, needing his agreement to remove it as she just wasn't tall enough to manage. "Pizza, pie, and a naked boyfriend," she reminded him, pressing a kiss to his bared back as her hands pushed up at his shirt.

Zachariah Wolf "Ah." having forgotten about that last part, he extended his arms up to let her drag off the shirt before remembering that she couldn't do it herself and finding the collar of the sleeveless t-shirt to pull it off of himself. "Half naked for now."

Eliana DuPres As his hand took the collar of his shirt, her teeth embedded gently against his back. Bringing her hands around to the button of his jeans, she unfastened it a moment later. "Huh? What you say?"

Zachariah Wolf "I said 'Half. Naked.'" he specified, playing hard to get as he widened his stance and made it impossible to push down his jeans despite her best bratty attempts.

Eliana DuPres "Sorry. I don't seem to understand half..." she argued, trying at his pants only to find them stuck. Groaning against his back, a whine concluded the sound as she brought her hand against the waistline of his boxers. "Hmm. What shall I do then?" She asked, one hand invading the space of the fabric, a smirk taking her features.

Zachariah Wolf Smirking to himself as his pants could go no further as he'd remain at this stance like he was at the airport. Feeling her find the waistline of his boxers though, that smile would fade. "Nah uh. Don't you go there." he'd challenge as she seemed to already be doing just that.

Eliana DuPres "Oh please, Eliana, go there?" She asked, certain that was what he had said. Pressing a kiss to his back as her hand drifted within, a single fingertip grazing his length. "Still want me to stop?" She asked, showing she had actually heard him, even if she had been a brat about it for his benefit.

Zachariah Wolf Feeling that fingertip against him, thought the woman had to be slightly crazy at this point considering how hot it was and how gross he felt. "For your sake, I would. I've been sweatin' like a dog all day." he threatened honestly.

Eliana DuPres Hearing his warning, it didn't hold much weight with the woman as she simply smirked. "Gonna be sweating like a dog when I get you naked," she promised as they already well knew. "Unless you are telling me you'd rather take a shower first... just know I'm coming with you, and probably cumming with you too."

Zachariah Wolf "It's my obligation to warn you." he reminded her as he glanced over his shoulder down towards her or atleast tried to. Hearing her conclusion about a shower, he'd shake his head. "Your pizza is gonna' get cold." he'd point out.

Eliana DuPres Meeting his eyes over his shoulder, she felt an instant temptation to come around in front of him, though the mention of that pizza had her instant attention. Whining a moment later, she was visibly torn between him and the pizza. "I want both."

Zachariah Wolf "I don't think you can." he answered honestly as that was a little too much to attempt to combine as he felt her contrasting attention there. Thinking the woman had finally found a stalemate and would have to decide what all she wanted here.

Eliana DuPres "Maybe just a bite to hold me over," she suggested, knowing pizza could wait, but her stomach might not. "Maybe just two..." she continued, finally slipping around him. Standing before him, one hand found the back of his neck, requesting his kiss, while the other slipped behind her for that pizza box.

Zachariah Wolf "Uh huh." knowing she'd never survive with just one piece, the man would lean in to press his lips back to hers as he hummed. "How was your day?" he'd ask curiously, another soft kiss to let her navigate.

Eliana DuPres Feeling his kiss, her hand tightened to the back of his neck, savoring that kiss as her hand paused on the box of pizza. "Hmm. It was alright. Boring at best. But it's better now," she confessed, needing constant engagement from the man or the dog to get by. "How about yours? " she asked, her hand finding a slice of pizza behind her.

Zachariah Wolf "Hot." he'd answer simply as it was all he could think about now days, exhaling softly. "Goddamn outdoor arenas are gonna' be the death of me. Rethinking all that cool pyro and thinking some cold water might do the trick..."

Eliana DuPres "Mmmm. Water huh?" She asked, smirking at the thought of it. "Think we should test it out here first?" Having a hard time turning her desire for him, yet leaning back against the edge of the table as she brought that pizza to her mouth.

Zachariah Wolf Watching as she leaned back as she seemed to like that idea a little too much. "Eat your pizza." he stated simply to the woman as he drew back to grab himself a beer or two. One for each hand.

Eliana DuPres As he drew back, she had known he would do it the moment she gave him the room to do so. Pouting for a moment before she brought her pizza to her lips. A bite later, her eyes closed, humming softly to the way the combination seemed to sit just right with her. "You having some?" She asked, hand seeking a slice for him.

Zachariah Wolf "Nah, I have to watch the gut otherwise we'll both be expecting something or another." he added simply, the switch to light beer noted as he drummed his hand to his stomach simply as the man had an appetite for days.

Eliana DuPres Frowning, she gave up her attempt for that other slice, carrying the pizza to the kitchen to put it in the fridge, satisfied with the slice she had. "But what about pie...?"

Zachariah Wolf "You won't let me have any anyway." he reminded her as he cracked open a beer and brought it to his lips.

Eliana DuPres "I will so," she argued, a smirk to her lips. "Just gotta tell me where you want to eat it off of me," she stated honestly, already knowing just where he would be wearing pie.

Zachariah Wolf Draws a brow as this felt increasingly rare as he drew the beer closer to his lips for another long mouthful. "I'm kinda' scared about this one."

Eliana DuPres "You're scared of where you want to eat pie off me?" She asked, taking another bite of her pizza while leaning against the table. "I'm not sure why that would be scary..."

Zachariah Wolf "Not that." he explained, knowing it was where she would be doing the same off of him. Walking to the edge of the table where she stood. Eyes passing over her.

Eliana DuPres Seeming to understand a bit better, she watched as he moved through the space as she took the last bite of her pizza, abandoning the crust on the table. "Sooo where are you eating pie from?" She asked, reaching for the bag that was sure to contain said pie.

Zachariah Wolf "You forgot the best part." always hating that she didn't eat the crust from, he heard her question that drew a light smirk out of him. "Guess you're just gonna' have to wait and see...honestly, don't know if I'll need the pie though."

Eliana DuPres "Hmm?" She asked, thinking she had gotten the best part, pausing a moment later with the bag in her hand. "Is my boyfriend turning down pie...?" She asked, eyes searching his as she had yet to see such a thing happen.

Zachariah Wolf Hearing her question, his hands would reach for her hips. Drawing her towards him simply as he'd steal a quick kiss. "You are the low calorie option yet more filling. I found the dietary unicorn..."

Eliana DuPres Feeling his hands to her hips, her own found his upper arms, leaving the bag of pie abandoned on the table. "Mmm, but we would work off those calories and then some," she assured, not at all accustomed to him watching such things so closely. "I'm your workout," she suggested, a smirk to her lips as her hands found the back of his neck. "Workout facility and love of your life. One lucky man, you are," she teased, knowing she was the lucky one.

Zachariah Wolf She'd find the man bit by bit to be pretty laced up with such insecurities but when tours were running, he was the absolute worse with it as she'd find. Feeling her to the back of his neck, he knew she could do alot better than him most days and it only fueled the fire. "The luckiest."

Eliana DuPres Hearing him agree to her suggestion, she knew he wasn't teasing the way she had been. With both hands to the back of his neck, she'd lift to her toes to search for his kiss, their height difference forever a challenge in moments like these when she wanted nothing more than to have that access, yet would have to find ways to ask for it. "Mother of your child," she added as yet another title she now held.

Zachariah Wolf Watching her lift to find him, he heard her follow up where he'd smirk softly. "That is actually /my/ child." He'd specify, making this especially special considering.

Eliana DuPres Nodding her head softly, she understood the emphasis there and could easily promise him just that. "The mother of /your/ child," she assured in response, her smile unable to fade. "The mother of your child that /really/ thinks you should kiss her," she added with a convincing nod.

Zachariah Wolf Hearing her follow up, his brows lightly furrowing before he was leaning in. Pressing an all too gentle kiss to her lips.

Eliana DuPres Feeling his kiss find her lips, she was more than pleased to feel it there, given to her at the slightest request. Her hand tensed to the back of his neck as she remained there to her toes, attempting to meet him halfway, though she'd never really be able to do so. A hum was there at her lips almost right away, speaking to her satisfaction.

Zachariah Wolf Starting off with what had been meant to be a gentle kiss, he pressed his lips back to hers. Slowly increasing the depth he pressed to her until he had returned entirely to his normal pressure.

Eliana DuPres Wrapping both arms around his neck, as his pressure to her lips increased, her own would do the same naturally, finding themselves in something that felt more typical for the two while never quite seeing it happen at the same time. Going from one to ten almost all at once, her upper body pressed to his where it would be but a moment before the woman was finding her way into his hold entirely as she normally did.

Zachariah Wolf Letting his arms slip around her as her lips pressed back to his. Meshing accordingly to her willing as he had missed her during the course of his day and it was showing a little too obviously.

Eliana DuPres Feeling his arms there around her, she knew he had her entirely and always would. With just a pull at her arms there around his neck, she could lift herself from the ground entirely, something that might not always be so possible, yet it had been there since their first days. Her lips remained to his, each moment passing bringing with it a new intensity, forever feeding off the man who fed off her, where this chemistry was never too far away.

Zachariah Wolf Hands sweeping up her sides as she worked at his neck like usual. Pulling down into her as he'd hum to her lips. Pulling back briefly if only to speak before returning. "I came up with something for you."

Eliana DuPres Drawing her legs around him, she'd trust his hold as she always did. Hearing him speak there to her lips, she'd meet his eyes a moment later. Not entirely sure what it was he was speaking of, yet the intrigue in her eyes would speak before her voice did. "What's that?"

Zachariah Wolf Slipping his hands up under her to assure safe passage. Meeting her eyes as his lips returned to hers with no real intention of pulling from her. Humming simply as it meant just that.

Eliana DuPres Feeling his kiss return to her lips, she hadn't gotten an answer to her question, leaving her wondering, leaving her in suspense, leaving her on the very edge, needing to know what it was he had came up with. A whine passed her lips even within that kiss, torn from wanting what he had come up with and wanting that kiss. Unable to bring herself to break from him to find out, entirely at his mercy.

Zachariah Wolf Knowing she was at an impasse, his lips would press warmly to hers and seeing what she'd want first. Yet, the woman would win either way.

Eliana DuPres Lost between what she wanted, she couldn't be made to make a choice here, wanting both, wanting both at the same time, but really just wanting him. She drew a sharp breath against his lips where she'd suddenly meet his lips with an intensity that would be anything but foreign to the man as it never took long for her to get there. "Tell me," she stated quickly, only to return to the passion of that kiss without missing a full beat, leaving even her surprised that she'd managed such a request without a true pause at his lips.

Zachariah Wolf Feeling her return to his lips as how was he to speak against that. Unable to as she'd have to draw back if she wanted the answer that much as the man was entirely lacking the power to do so on his own.

Eliana DuPres Wrapped around him entirely, she'd get no answer, yet it would be of her own doing that he would remain silenced. Caught between yet another impossible choice, only able to be thankful her stomach had silenced in the process. Her kiss found his lower tier, where her withdraw was promised a moment later. Finally severing that kiss, her eyes would open to find his as a breath found her lips. "Tell me," she'd request again, this time giving him the ability to answer her.

Zachariah Wolf Hearing her request strongly once more as he'd open his eyes. Smirking softly as the woman had either grown some will power or he had lost his touch. Swallowing hard at that last thought as he'd groan softly. Face finding the side of her neck. "I wrote something."

Eliana DuPres As he found the side of her neck, her hand was there to the back of his, only able to give in to the feeling of his breath at the curve of her neck. A smile swept her features, though the thought was terrifying at the same time as the last time he had done such a thing, it had brought her to tears in the parking where she found him after. "A song?" she asked, as that had been what it was the last time, the excitement in her voice hard to hide.

Zachariah Wolf "Because I'm good at anything else..." he'd remind her dryly, as he definitely couldn't shoot something for her.

Eliana DuPres Her lips found the curve of his neck as she heard his reminder, rather certain that he was capable of anything as she'd already seen him in a variety of skillsets. "You gonna sing it for me?" she asked, fingertips toying with the hairline at the top of his neck.

Zachariah Wolf "No." he stated simply, pressing his lips to her neck before finding where her neck and shoulder met.

Eliana DuPres Feeling his lips find her flesh, she'd hum her response before finally allowing her voice to break through once again, indefinitely torn between speaking and feeling when it came to him. "Youuu are gonna play it on your phone for me?" Her voice breaking in the middle of her question, his contact there at her neck making it hard to speak.

Zachariah Wolf "No." truth be told, it wasn't done right. "Plus, we don't have a piano." He'd state honestly, winning. Taking a step back with her in tow as he was carrying her off.

Eliana DuPres "We don't have a piano, but we have your mouth..." she reminded him, wanting to hear this song of his that he said he had for her. "Please?" she begged, drawing back from the curve of his neck where he'd find the puppy eyes there before him pleading on her behalf.

Zachariah Wolf "I can't make piano noises." He'd point out honestly, no matter how he tried as he drew her back into the hall with him.

Eliana DuPres As he continued to the hall, she was there wrapped around him, at his wiling entirely. "Mmm, but you could sing for me with no music," she reminded him, a nod there at her head.

Zachariah Wolf "Not this one. It's an apocalyptic love ballad." He'd confess honestly, finding the bedroom door open where he slipped within and found the bed to lay her down upon.

Eliana DuPres Hearing his confession of just what it was, her eyes widened. "Oh you definitely have to sing it for me. Please? Please please? You can't tell me you came up with something for me and then not give it to me..." she reminded him, that pout returning to her features without a moment's pause.

Zachariah Wolf "I'll give it to you but it won't be the song." He'd answer honestly as he reached for his belt to draw it free from the loops of his jeans after her removal of it.

Eliana DuPres Laying on her back on the bed, she looked up at him as he spoke, a smirk to her lips. "Maybe you should give it to me and sing for me at the same time." Nodding her head, her hand reached forward for his waistband where she would pull against him, attempting to bring him back against her faster.

Zachariah Wolf "No fuckin' way." He answered honestly, a shake of his head as he felt her at his waistband drawing him at her where he'd give slight advances forward. "You have no idea how much breathing control that shit takes."

Eliana DuPres "But you can't tell someone you came up with something for them and then not give it to them," she pouted, still pulling at the waistband to bring him closer. "It makes for bratty girlfriends."

Zachariah Wolf "I'm tryin' to give you something." He pointed out as she pulled at him closer and closer. "And mine is already a brat anyhow." Lips find the corner of her lips.

Eliana DuPres She had to smirk at his recognition of what his girlfriend was, knowing it was true. Feeling his kiss to her smirk, her hands found his sides, still pulling at him as her knees parted to him. "Uh huh," she agreed before attempting to find the fullness of his lips with her own.

Zachariah Wolf Allowing his knees onto the bed as she remained pulling at him, leaning over and into her before her head would turn. Hand finding the side of her neck.

Eliana DuPres As his hand took the side of her neck, her lips pressed firmly to his. Her interest in his song had not left her, yet as he drew there against her, she couldn't continue pouting for it. Drawing her legs around him, she pulled against him, wanting to feel him entirely.

Zachariah Wolf Feeling her pull as he'd give in bit by bit to the woman who he absolutely adored. Lowering himself over her as the two met as best they could.

Eliana DuPres Layers of fabric separates the two, but she could feel him. This man was the one who turned it all around for her. She had been an assured lost cause headed for ruin before him, but now she held more promise than she knew what to do with and it was all because of him. Her lips pressed to his with a growing intensity, her endless desire for him fueling the moment.

Zachariah Wolf The woman had never been lost in his mind. Just enjoying her early twenties as he knew he had as well. On and off bases in odd locations, there was little else to do but create havoc. Pressing back to her lips, he'd hum low. In no rush clearly.

Eliana DuPres Bringing both arms around his neck, she tasted his hum there against her lips. Her own desires were loud and completely transparent, just as they had always been for him, finding him to be the perfect match for her in every way. The relationship was frowned upon and yet for them, it worked. With a shift of her hips against him and those damned layers, she felt him. Tightening her legs around him as she sought the strength of him against her.

Zachariah Wolf Guiding his hips forward to meet the apex of her thighs with no grand plans to take a step forward. He felt her all the same though. Resolve weakening under him just as intended as his tongue would brush the part of her lips.

Eliana DuPres Feeling the pressure of him there between her thighs, a hum passed her own lips in pure satisfaction of that feeling. The sweep of his tongue to the part of her lips prompted her to part her lips to him instantly, never able to hold out on this man, willing to give him the world if she had the ability to do so, settling for giving him all of her, hoping it would always be enough.

Zachariah Wolf It always was enough. A hand reaching for the side of her neck as his thumb drew down her jawline. Settling against her chin as his tongue would smooth out over hers. Humming low at the wash of her taste now invading his tastebuds.

Eliana DuPres As his tongue drew within the confines of her mouth, she was instantly taken by his familiar taste there within her mouth. Breathing in through his lungs, her hands gripped firmly to the back of his neck as her hips shifted against him. Losing thought of a song and focusing entirely on him in that moment, not quite sure how they had gotten here and how she had gotten so lucky, but not sorry for a single moment.

-June 23, 2017