Dirty Old Man ! Joel Headcanons NSFW!!
Part two!
Dirty Old Man Joel who’s never tried digital p0rn, only his old magazines that are yellow with age.
Dirty Old Man Joel who’s never googled p0rn before until he’s typing you features after the word and burying himself in the results.
Dirty Old Man Joel who offers to do your laundry when you’re busy so he can sneak a peek at what undies you wear.
Dirty Old Man Joel who tells you that, no, he didn’t see your favorite black silky pair in the wash… They must’ve gotten eaten by the dryer or something.
Dirty Old Man Joel who jerks off into those same panties that night. The first time he’s been able to cum twice in the same night since his divorce.
Dirty Old Man Joel who hears your vibrator through the thin apartment walls of your shared building and fists his cock to your barely audible moans.
Dirty Old Man Joel who, when you come home from a filling, fakes shock that you had a cavity. “I hear your toothbrush every night. You go to town with that thing.” And enjoys watching you blush and splutter in embarrassment.
Dirty Old Man Joel who smirks to himself when his one night stand makes a comment about his “grouchy neighbor giving me a dirty look”
Dirty Old Man Joel who opens the door dripping wet from his shower because he heard you pounding on his door.
Dirty Old Man Joel who thanks you for picking his wallet up off the hallway floor and returning it to him.
Dirty Old Man Joel who dropped it on purpose so he could answer the door fresh from the shower.
Dirty Old Man Joel who clutches his towel tighter around his waist to hide his hard-on when he watches you blatantly check him out.
Dirty Old Man Joel who knows through the wall when you’re faking an orgasm for the sake of your shitty boyfriend and dreams about making you cum for real.
Dirty Old Man Joel who bakes you cookies after you tell him in passing that your boyfriend was cheating on you.
Dirty Old Man Joel who hugs you while you cry and totally doesn’t offer his apartment if you get lonely and want to watch a movie.
Dirty Old Man Joel who fucks you on the sofa when you inevitably come over, having to push your face into one of his old throw pillows to muffle your sounds.
Dirty Old Man Joel who makes you cum twice on his face and once on his fingers before he gives you his cock because he just popped a viagra and it hasn’t kicked in yet.
Dirty Old Man Joel who then uses the power of Viagra to fuck you into oblivion for several hours until you’re certain you can’t speak.
Dirty Old Man Joel who cums inside you every time because he got a vasectomy after his divorce and you’re both clean.
Dirty Old Man Joel who laughs at you when your legs start shaking as he’s plowing into you and smacks your face “You alive in there, kiddo?” while he’s balls deep in your cunt.
Dirty Old Man Joel who knows just how to grind against you to have you screaming even after you’ve already just cum.
Dirty Old Man Joel who hasn’t used his phone to take a picture in months but now he’s putting on his glasses and figuring out the buttons because he wants to take a picture of his cum leaking out of your pussy.
Dirty Old Man Joel who, despite his perviness, comes to clean you up with a warm washcloth and cuddles you into his chest after you’re thoroughly fucked dumb on his cock and drooling in pleasure.
Dirty Old Man Joel who only lets you go back to your apartment when he’s sure you’re ready and drops off breakfast the next morning because “you must’ve worked up an appetite.”
Dirty Old Man Joel who tells you to come over any time you want.
You and Dirty Old Man Joel who set up ‘movie nights’ and even go through the trouble of making popcorn.
Before you ask, no, he doesn’t remember what movie you put on.
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I can’t help but like Chishiya, I like pretty boys, a lot. Maybe that’s why, lmao.
Tbh, I really like he’s character, he’s so cold and chill and selfish and I prefer that to characters that have hero complex (I like Arisu, it’s just, he always stresses me out, lmao.)
Oh, and my favorite female character is Kuina, she’s so badass. I love her sm. 😩
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