#he's just playing around having his fun and lwj is taking care of everything else 💖

[grewlikefancyflowers]

i always find it funny when people read ch.117 and conclude wwx is like, super into farming. those are his innocent little D/s fantasies ! 💞

[besanii]

I completely forgot ljy is gonna be lwj's heir...Would love to see ljy interacting with wwx after he joins the household :3

The rooms Lan Wangji has set aside for him in the Hanguang Manor are spacious and well-furnished, with west-facing windows to catch the afternoon sunlight. Great care had been taken to ensure the room is always pleasantly warm: there were braziers in each section, and smaller, hand-held ones lined up on the shelves for easy access. Everything had been painstakingly arranged with its new master in mind.

Wei Wuxian runs his fingers over the books on the shelves. Lan Wangji had curated all of his old favourites—there are a mixture of books on classics, poetry, music and military strategy, which he passes over quickly; he also finds several volumes of contemporary fiction and plays. The thought of Lan Wangji deliberately searching for and purchasing such frivolous titles has him chuckling in amusement.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of knocking. He turns around to see a young man standing awkwardly in the open doorway with a curious look on his face. When he sees Wei Wuxian watching, he flushes a dark red and bows.

“Wei-gongzi,” he says, “I’m here on behalf of Er-wangye to see if everything is to your liking. If there is anything you need, or anything lacking, please let me know and I will have someone fetch it for you at once.”

Wei Wuxian smiles. 

“Tell Wangye everything is perfect,” he says. “He has provided all that I could possibly need, and more. Thank you.”

The boy makes no move to leave, loitering in the doorway with a truly terrible attempt at nonchalance, shifting from one leg to another, sneaking glances when he thinks Wei Wuxian isn’t looking. He doesn’t say anything though, or make an attempt at conversation, although Wei Wuxian supposes it maybe due to the strictness with which Lan Wangji observes discipline and etiquette in his household. Still, he looks to be rather young and harmless, so Wei Wuxian takes pity on him.

“What’s your name?” he asks.

The boy jumps to attention, flushing with embarrassment at being caught.

“L-Lan Jingyi,” he stammers. He belatedly remembers his manners and adds: “Wei-gongzi.”

“Lan-gongzi,” Wei Wuxian says with a smile and quick inclination of the head. “Are you, by any chance, Jing-junwang’s son?”

Lan Jingyi perks up. “You know my father?”

“I have had the pleasure of meeting Jing-junwang when we were younger,” Wei Wuxian replies easily. “You look a lot like him.”

Lan Jingyi’s eyes narrow in suspicion.

“How is that possible?” he asks. “You didn’t arrive in Gusu until only recently, and my father hasn’t left Caiyi for years.”

Ah, Wei Wuxian thinks, a sharp one.

“I lived here in Caiyi for a period of time in my youth,” he says, moving to sit at the table in the centre of the room. He motions for Lan Jingyi to sit as well, and the boy obeys warily, taking the place opposite. “Your father was quite hotheaded back then—very different from the rest of the Imperial Family. We had a lot of fun together.”

“Really?” He leans forward in his seat, interested despite himself. “Like what?”

“Let’s just say that, before I met your father, I thought that none of the Imperial Family could hold their liquor,” he says with a laugh. “He drank four jugs of Emperor’s Smile in one sitting just to prove me wrong.”

Lan Jingyi’s face lights up as if he had just received the single greatest news of his life. 

“My father drank alcohol?” he exclaims loudly. “He never lets me drink any! I can’t believe you were allowed to drink alcohol back then. I would’ve thought Lan-taishi would have forbidden it.”

Wei Wuxian props his chin on one hand and sighs.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was allowed,” he says slowly, a wicked little smile spreading across his lips. “But your father and I certainly found our ways.”

He winks across the table at Lan Jingyi, whose cheeks suddenly flood with colour as he diverts his eyes. He thinks about teasing the boy some more—such an expressive child! So unlike a certain someone else as a child—when they’re interrupted by a cough from the doorway.

Lan Jingyi jumps to his feet as if scalded, bowing low at the waist as Lan Wangji enters the room and fixes him with a stern look.

“Jingyi,” he says evenly.

“Wangye,” Jingyi stammers, his eyes squeezed shut. “I’m sorry! I should have returned immediately, but I got sidetracked and—”

Lan Wangji looks from Lan Jingyi’s red face to Wei Wuxian, smiling to himself as he pours a cup of tea, and frowns.

“Twenty copies of the Book of Conduct,” he says. “For neglecting your duties.”

Lan Jingyi acknowledges his punishment in a mumble, and rushes out the door without waiting to be dismissed. Then Lan Wangji turns his attention to Wei Wuxian, who slides a cup of tea across the table with wide, innocent eyes.

“Come and have a cup of tea, Wangye,” he says, his lips twitching. “To douse the fires of your anger.”

“What were the two of you speaking about?” Lan Wangji asks him, taking Lan Jingyi’s vacated place at the table.

Wei Wuxian hums thoughtfully. “I was just entertaining him with stories about his father when we were his age. Remember the fun we used to have, Lan Zhan? Yan-xiong would tell the best stories—”

“Jingyi is young and and impressionable,” Lan Wangji says, disapproval evident in his voice. “He does not need to hear such tales of his father.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile widens and the glint in his eye turns knowing, teasing.

“I see,” he says with feigned lightness. “And this has nothing to do with your own...impressions, back in the day?”

The tips of Lan Wangji’s ears darken.

“Nonsense,” he says, and takes a long drink, placing the empty cup back on the table with more force than necessary.

Wei Wuxian laughs softly and reaches for the teapot.

// buy me a ko-fi //

Master Post is here

[trensu]

Episode 46: The One with All the Yunmeng Bros Angst

gross, ouyang and yao are talking. let’s ignore them!

blah blah plot plot blah

ooh thank god, wwx is now the one talking

being all detective-y and asking relevant questions

I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY WHEN HE'S BEING CLEVER

wwx makes some Plot Relevant Point and yao is like I DISAGREE bc ofc he fucking does

LOL WWX'S FACE WHEN YAO INTERRUPTS LIKE THAT

IT'S LIKE HE'S BITING DOWN ON HIS TONGUE TO NOT SNAP SOMETHING BACK

kudos to him on his self-control tbh but it's wasted on yao. 

wwx is all asking things like why are you ladies fessing up now, oh and btw that's a real neat bracelet you got there...

and then nhs is like, gee i wonder what kind of person would've sent these ladies here today

LOLOLOL NHS IS SUCH A TROLL OMG

and yao is like DETAILS DON'T MATTER, WHAT IS CRITICAL THINKING ANYWAY LET'S GO MURDER FOR JUSTICE AGAIN

and everyone else is like, HEY, THIS LOUD GUY HAS A POINT LET'S GO MURDER

okay, they don't actually say anything about murder but they're harping about "justice" 

The last time they did that, it resulted in murder so i'm gonna go ahead and assume this time isn't any different

lwj: many skeptical points remain

THANK YOU, LWJ, FOR BEING SENSIBLE

oh, and i would like to point out that the crowd had been getting rowdy 

but the minute lwj interjected there they all fell silent

My guy didn't even raise his voice and was able to shut up a whole room full of people.

I LOVE YOU HANGUANG JUN

lqr: what are they?

wwx: SO MANY. 

wwx makes some Points and is like so we got some witnesses now but where's the HARD EVIDENCE GUYS??

and yao is like, whatever, we'll find it sooner or later now that we know THE TRUTH

and wwx's reaction lolol

it's like oh my god how stupid is this guy, that's not how it works, that's not how ANY of this works

I FEEL YOUR PAIN, WWX, I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL

ppl are blabbering Plot Stuff

i'm just gonna enjoy the occasional shots of wwx and lwj's beautiful faces

blah blah blah plot plot plot blah

gosh, my boys are so pretty

LOOK AT THEM BEING PRETTY, I LOVE THEM

(i say as the crowd devolves into vicious mob mentality)

wwx's had enough of this and turns to leave bc angry mobs are old news at this point

And we all know how he ended up last time there was an angry mob

but yao and some rando interrupt his exit as if they have ANY RIGHT to speak to my sunshine boy at all

Eventually we DO escape sword hall and the mob of stupid people and our boys are alone together wandering lotus pier!!!

they're reviewing Plot Info and bouncing ideas off each other and IT'S BEAUTIFUL, THEY'RE SO SMART AND IN LOVE

They determine that they don't have enough clues to say who the mysterious 3rd party is

but they def have enough evidence showing jgy murdered nmj and is generally an evil conniving bastard.

lwj mentions that he's going to send word to his brother to be careful since jgy is EVIL FOR SURE NOW.

oooh, our boys just came upon the jiang clan's ancestral shrine

wwx freezes, eyes red-rimmed and shiny, MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY

lwj: what's wrong?

ALL OF HIS ATTENTION IS GLUED TO WWX'S EVERY MOVE ALL THE TIME, ISN'T IT??

SEE HOW INTENTLY HE LOOKS AT WWX??

me too, lan zhan, me too

wwx: nothing. it's the ancestral hall of the jiang clan

he says this softly, like it hurts to acknowledge it or smth

lwj: do you want to enter?

wwx: no

WHICH IS A BLATANT LIE

EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS SCREAMING HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO GO IN THERE

they make to turn away and pause for a moment, during which wwx looks back at the shrine longingly

cut to the next scene where we see wwx burning some incense sticks in the shrine

AND OUR BOYS BOW TOGETHER  3x TO M-YU, JFM, AND JYL

wwx greets his deceased loved ones solemnly

wwx: it's me. i'm here to disturb you again.

idk about m-yu and jfm, BUT JYL WOULD NEVER THINK WWX'S PRESENCE WAS A DISTURBANCE

now wwx is telling lwj about how he used to spend a ton of time in that shrine bc m-yu would punish him by sending him there to, idk, reflect on his sins before the ancestors or smth

and lwj is like, yeah, i heard about that

then wwx comments on how he's never met a woman as irritable as m-yu, and how she punished him for trifles all the time

then he laughs bashfully and says "my fault, my fault" and bows another 3x bc omg wwx you can't speak ill of the dead, especially not at their shrine

this is a nice moment between them so far, actually. 

it's nice to hear wwx reminisce in a way that's not 100% painful

and the fact that he's sharing these little bits of inconsequential info with lwj, his soulmate, is just very sweet to me

lwj: won't you tell jc?

wwx: idk. at least not yet

lwj: after all, you two are sworn brothers

it's nice of lwj to acknowledge that, without any sort of rancor in his tone, considering how much he does not care for jc (to put it mildly)

wwx: since the misunderstanding between us is so deep, it's not that easy to solve

HE SOUNDS SO RESIGNED, AND THE LITTLE SMILE THAT FLASHED BRIEFLY THERE WAS JUST SO SAD

and then he's like, besides, I created Plot Device 2, regardless of whether or not jgy ended up using it to make Plot Device 3

UH OH, HERE COMES JC

jc: wei wuxian

OH GOD, CAN HE PACK ANY MORE BITTERNESS AND VENOM INTO THAT NAME??

wwx stands immediately when he hears jc call, he doesn't look at him tho

lwj stands a beat after as jc enters the shrine

jc: you still take yourself as one of the jiang clan? come and go at any time you like, then bring people here when you wish. Do you remember whose house this is? who's the owner?

YIKES

THAT ONE HURT.

and wwx just takes it

wwx: i didnt take hanguang jun to any confidential places in Lotus Pier. i just brought him here to offer some incense to clan leader jiang and madam yu.

he's so submissive here and not even in a fun way

it’s in his posture and tone of voice, even in how he still doesn't look directly at jc...it makes me sad

wwx: we're leaving

He tries to retreat bc he def doesn't want this this confrontation to happen 

jc: you really should kneel down to them, for coming to their presence to destroy the view and ruin their quiet.

DOUBLE YIKES. 

that one hurt EVEN MORE

and lwj, who had been following wwx's lead and staying quiet, intervenes

lwj: clan leader jiang, pay attention to your words

oh boy if looks could kill, jc would be dead as a doornail

he's like HURT MY SOULMATE AGAIN, I DARE YOU. JUST GIVE ME A REASON AND I WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN

which is pretty gutsy since jc is higher ranked than him, technically, as clan leader. 

AND they're both in jc's domain rn!

jc: what did you say? i think someone else needs to watch his behavior

he's glaring at wwx's back and he's got a mean twist to his mouth that would be a smile if it weren't so cruel

jc: you have already been kicked out of our family. how dare you enter and face my parents and my sister?

STOP HURTING MY SUNSHINE BOY

wwx is just accepting this. he's just accepting all these cruel things with his eyes downcast and submissive

BC IT HURTS AND HE BELIEVES HE DESERVES IT

lwj: jiang wanyin

HOLY SHIT

lwj fucking HISSED that name

and he took a VERY MENACING step towards jc

MY GUY

MY GUY, YOU CAN'T ATTACK A CLAN LEADER

ESPECIALLY NOT IN HIS OWN HOME

LIKE, I TOTALLY GET WHY YOU'D WANT TO RN, AND, Y'KNOW, I'M NOT THE MOST POLITICALLY SAVVY PERSON AROUND

BUT THIS JUST SEEMS LIKE A BAD IDEA ALL AROUND

thank god wwx is there

wwx stops him, pressing the palm of his hand into lwj's torso (!!!!!)

wwx: lan zhan. lan zhan, let's go

he practically whispers this, head bent down, AGAIN SUPER SUBSERVIENT

but jc is looking for a fight and he's not letting go until he gets one, apparently

jc: go as far as you can. i don't want to see you AWFUL PEOPLE again before my dead family

wwx just halts in his steps.

he had been all prepared to go after taking that tongue lashing that he thinks he's earned, but at that he takes a deep, fortifying breath bc jc crossed a line

he purses his lips a moment before turning to finally face jc head on

wwx: jc, scold me as you like but not the others (aka LWJ)

oooh, but that was the wrong thing to say to jc right now bc jc goes off on a VERY PAINFUL rant

he's like, oh, i should be nice to lwj? don't you remember that MY PARENTS WERE KILLED AND LOTUS PIER FELL bc you just HAD to play hero and save lwj?? and it wasn't enough! you HAD to play hero and SAVE THE WENS too, which killed my sister!!

oh he's getting really mean here

he's like, how generous you are wwx! letting wn wander the entrance of lotus pier and letting lwj offer incense!!

the minute jc started his rant, wwx cast his eyes to the side, again just enduring everything jc is throwing at him

oh but now jc starts in on lwj again

he's like, lwj, the great second jade, ignoring his reputation to side with wwx, your brother and uncle must be so proud

wwx: JIANG WANYIN!

wwx shouts at him

he's shaky and almost panting here.

wwx: apologize this instant.

jc: apologize? why should i? bc i insulted your great friendship?

THIS WHOLE ENCOUNTER IS A SHIT SHOW AND IT HURTS.

wwx just loses it here and grabs jc by the collar of his robes and gives him a shake

wwx: ARE YOU DONE?

and jc is still the little brother, you know, so obvs he does not back down here, he's not intimidated at all

jc: LET'S FIGHT THEN. should i be afraid of you two?

wwx's breath is all shaky and he's trembling and he would've given into jc's demands for a fight anyway but then he sees jyl's nameplate

and he must remember how upset jyl would get every time they fought

ME TOO, JYL, ME TOO. I HATE THIS, I HATE THIS, MAKE IT STOP

so he lets go of jc and stumbles back. he's looking very weak right now AND I’M VERY CONCERNED

lwj, obvs, catches him by the arm when he stumbles

lwj: wei ying

wwx: lan zhan, let's go

lwj agrees and the two of them turn and leave the shrine, lwj still gripping wwx's arm and providing support bc wwx is NOT looking good what’s happening to my sunshine boy, somebody fix this RIGHT NOW

BUT JC IS LIKE A DOG WITH A BONE BC HE JUST STORMS AFTER THEM, HE WANTS HIS FIGHT

he freaking leaps across the little lotus pond and lands before them, blocking off their exit

he starts antagonizing wwx, and he grabs wwx by the collar now, and again, wwx just takes it BUT LWJ DOESN'T

lwj slams his hand around jc's wrist (the one that's grabbing wwx), WRAPPING HIS FINGERS AROUND JC'S ZIDIAN, EVEN

lwj: let him go

holy crap. Stone Cold. LWJ'S STARE IS STONE COLD, AND HE TIGHTENS HIS GRIP ON JC'S WRIST

god damn, if lwj ever looked at me like that, i'd drop to the ground and beg for forgiveness. i'd be scared witless

when jc makes no move to let go of wwx, lwj releases his wrist and hooks his arm under jc's forearm and shoves upward to FINALLY break jc's hold on wwx

wwx stumbles at the force of it and his nose starts to bleed

MY POOR PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY LOOKS SO WEAK AND OUT OF IT!!

lwj looks at him, eyes wide with worry

lwj: wei ying!

even jc looks concerned (i would even say scared, tbh)

wwx reaches up and wipes his nose; he's not steady on his feet AT ALL

wwx: lan zhan, let's go.

lwj: okay

and he immediately starts to leave, practically dragging wwx with him bc wwx is barely able to stand at this point

lol, lwj shoulder checks jc as they walk past him

but jc is a stubborn bastard and brings out zidian and whips at their retreating backs

brief moment here to admire how FREAKING COOL THE ZIDIAN IS OMG,  

*GRABBY HANDS* I WANT ONE OF MY OWN SO SO BAD. 

IT'S A SNAKE BRACELET!! 

THAT TURNS INTO A WHIP!! 

A PURPLE WHIP!!! OF LIGHTNING!!!!!! 

LITERALLY NO ASPECT OF THIS WEAPON IS UN-BADASS

so jc whips purple lightning at them but the hit never lands bc lwj swings his still-sheathed bichen and bats that attack away like nothing

but as he does that, wwx starts to fall

lwj spins around and AUDIBLY GASPS, eyes wide with worry again, as he watches wwx lose consciousness. 

he dives forward and catches his soulmate in his arms and cradles him gently

jc doesn't see this happen and swings right back with another lash but wn swoops in out of nowhere to take the hit instead. 

AND HERE WE'RE GONNA GET THE BIG REVEAL OH GOD I'M NOT READY

jc is all who let you in, how dare you?? and whips wn again

BUT WN WILL NOT STAY DOWN, NO SIR

HE'S GOT STUFF TO SAY AND BY GOD, HE'S GONNA SAY IT

he offers up suibian to jc but jc whips him and sends him flying again

Wn gets right back up goes back to offering the sword to jc, DEMANDING HE UNSHEATHE IT

AND IN A FIT OF FURY JC PULLS AT THE HANDLE AND SUIBIAN COMES FREE

SHOCK, UTTER SHOCK ON HIS AND LWJ'S FACES

(also YIKES jc nearly sliced out wn's eyes with the force of his unsheathing of siubian. he obvs didn't expect anything to come of him pulling at the handle)

GOLDEN CORE TRANSFER REVEAL!!

FLASHBACK to wn's part of the story

we see wn holding an unconscious jc and wq is telling wwx to come out from where he was hiding behind a convenient boulder

and we see wwx give the go ahead to start the golden core transfer

back to the present, jc looks like his whole world is a lie 

bc it kinda is

I'm still kinda mad that wwx never told him anything.

like, i get why he didn't and i sympathize but informed consent in medicine and surgery is kind of a big deal!

and then omg, we got a close up shot of lwj's face

his eyes are wide and shiny and his jaw is dropped open just a bit. HE IS SHAKEN TO THE CORE 

HAHAHA GET IT? THAT THING WWX DOESN’T HAVE ANYMORE?? Oh god i’m sorry that was AWFUL

he turns his gaze back to wwx, who is still resting gently in crook of his arm

i love the camera angle here btw

the scene is at a slant, with the white of bichen's handle, and the white of the flowering tree behind them filling all of the right side of the screen

it makes the dark bundle of wwx and the dark flow of lwj's hair more stark

the slant of it really emphasizes how the whole of lwj's attention is on the man in his arms

And how his whole world is off its axis at this revelation

god lwj is really just letting his whole heart pour out of his eyes as he watches wwx

jc and wn are arguing loudly in the background but lwj makes NO INDICATION of hearing ANY of it

now we get to watch the emotional confrontation between jc and wn

lwj finally looks back at them when wn starts reciting details that no one outside of jc would have known unless they were there themselves

another flashback as wn describes everything in excruciating detail

oh this line gets me every time

wn: the reason you thought it was repaired was because of my sister, the best doctor in the wen clan of qishan, Wen Qing

WN LOVES HIS SISTER SO MUCH. HE WAS SO PROUD OF HER 

AND HE LOST HER. HE DOESN'T HAVE HER ANYMORE

GOD DAMN IT, SHOW, LET THESE BOYS KEEP THEIR SISTERS

and now we go back to lwj, gazing soulfully at wwx and a single tear rolls down his cheek as it really hits him what exactly wwx did, what wwx gave up

wn is going off on jc, like, didn't he ever wonder why wwx never picked up the sword again?

wn looks hardcore here tbh. 

we cut back to lwj, who is now holding bichen tightly, and boy, he's got his jaw clenched so hard.

at least until he looks back down at wwx, and his mouth softens as more tears drip down his face

flashback to when jc first found wwx after the burial mounds, and a series of flashbacks of every time jc brought up wwx's lack of suibian and wwx brushing off his questions

THEY SHOULD'VE JUST TALKED IT OUT, MY GOD, THEY COULD’VE SPARED ME ALL THIS PAIN IF THEY JUST TALKED 

another flashback to that time that jc pushed wwx and wwx fell hard to the ground and jc thought he was just drunk

I AM DONE WITH THESE FLASHBACKS, THX. CAN WE NOT, ANYMORE? IT'S HURTING TOO MUCH

and we also keep getting shots of lwj's face, STREAKED WITH TEARS

HE'S GOT A TEARDROP ON THE TIP OF HIS NOSE

ALL OF THIS IS PAINFUL

PLEASE STOP

oooh, lwj's mouth twists into a firm scowl and he slams bichen on the ground with a loud CLANG

this is too much for him too! he's furious, he's had enough of hearing how wwx suffered for jc

so he scoops up wwx, carrying almost all of his weight, as he walks the both of them outta there

wn leaves suibian with jc and tells him to have anyone else try to unsheathe it if he doesn't believe him

jc doesn't want it. he doesn't want it at all.

he desperately wants it to be untrue

AND I CRY A RIVER FOR MY YUNMENG BROS

WE'RE ON A BOAT NOW

UNCONSCIOUS WWX SPREAD BACK, HELD LOVINGLY IN LWJ'S ARMS

Now we get some lwj & wn bonding time where they discuss a-yuan! (after lwj promises not to tattle on wn to wwx)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WE'RE GETTING A FLASHBACK FROM LWJ

LWJ IS ENTERING WWX'S LAB CAVE THING, ALONE, FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR WWX

lwj: on that day, when the wen clan were captured and killed, i went to the burial mounds to seek wei ying but discovered a-yuan instead

we see him find a-yuan, who is unconscious and clammy. 

lwj immediately drops to his knees beside him and checks his wrist, then presses the back of his hand to a-yuan's forehead

oh, lwj's hand is all roughened with dirt. That’s very striking, for some reason.

he purses his lips making a split-second decision, and scoops a-yuan up 

lwj: he was hiding there for so long that he had a fever and was severely ill

wn figures out that the fever is probs why lsz doesn't remember anything, and hasn’t mentioned wn at all. lwj looks surprised

lwj: didn't you tell him?

wn: about his birth origin? he's happy now. knowing too much about the past and remembering something heavy, would make him less happy than now

HE'S SUCH A GOOD PERSON

WHY DO THE BEST OF THEM HAVE TO SUFFER SO?

lwj: sooner or later, he will know

and wn doesn't deny it. he's like, yeah, sooner or later. just like master wei and jc with the golden core transfer.

at this lwj looks back down at wwx

lwj: is it painful?

the way lwj's throat bobs before he asks tho.

like he's forcing himself to ask, bc he needs to know even if he already suspects the answer. 

He needs to know even tho knowing will hurt. he's steeling himself against the pain already.

wn: what?

lwj: taking out the core, is it painful?

wn: you won't believe me if i say it's not, right?

lwj: i thought wq might have some method

he sounds desperate, hoping against all odds that it didn't hurt wwx as much as he suspects it did

and here wn explains that wq wanted to ease the process, make it less painful, but due to the nature of the procedure, she couldn't use any anesthetics

wn: the one who donates the core has to be awake the whole time

THE WHOLE DAMN TIME

HE HAS TO BE CONSCIOUS TO WATCH IT GET CUT OUT OF HIM AND EXPERIENCE THAT CONNECTION SLOWLY BE SEVERED OTHERWISE IT DOESN'T WORK

HOW MESSED UP IS THAT OMG, HOW MUCH TRAUMA MUST THEY PUT MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY THROUGH

lwj: awake?

HE SOUNDS HOARSE AS HE SAYS THAT

wn: two nights and one day. he has to be awake

MY SUNSHINE BOY, MY BEAUTIFUL SUNSHINE BOY SUFFERED SO MUCH

lwj's lips purse briefly. he's staring at his wei ying

lwj: at the time, what were the chances

wn: fifty percent

lwj looks at wn here with horrified disbelief

lwj: fifty percent?

wn proceeds to explain how wq didn't want to do it but wwx kept insisting that the odds were worth 

AND OH MY GOD LWJ FLASHES BACK TO THEIR FIRST CONFRONTATION AFTER THE BURIAL MOUNDS, WHEN THEY FINALLY FOUND WWX AFTER 3 MONTHS OF SEARCHING

IT HURTS JUST AS MUCH AS THE FIRST TIME AROUND

Wwx must have some sort of sixth sense for knowing when Emotional Discussions are Done, bc he regains consciousness only AFTER wn & lwj finish bonding lol

he sits up, head aching, and pulls himself from lwj's embrace

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY, BC LWJ OBVS DIDN'T MIND HAVING HIM THAT CLOSE

IN FACT even as he helps wwx sit up, you can see his hand trail up wwx's arm, grip loosening and tightening sporadically

He's def trying to prolong contact here, very reluctant to let go of his wei ying

wwx: lan zhan, how did we get out?

lwj: we had a fight

AND ~THEIR SONG~ STARTS PLAYING

wwx: i knew that jiang cheng wouldn't let me go that easily. so unreasonable.

and then he looks at lwj and hurries to assure him that jc didn't mean all those cutting remarks. that that's just how he gets when he's upset.

lwj looks off to the side, pressing his lips closed bc he couldn't care less about jc or jc's words. THEY MEAN NOTHING TO HIM

wwx covers lwj's hand with his own and very earnestly says: so don't take it seriously

BC HE HASN'T YET REALIZED THAT LWJ DOESN'T ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN ABOUT JC'S ENTIRE EXISTENCE

lwj doesn't look him in the eye as he's told this, and his lips are still pressed together in a firm line. 

he probably doesn't actually want wwx to realize just how little jc means to him.

wwx notices they're on a boat on a lake now lol

wwx: i often played here with jyl when we were children

AND HERE HE HALLUCINATES HIS PRECIOUS BEAUTIFUL KIND AMAZING SISTER JYL

Jyl: a-xian come have some lotus seeds

WWX'S EYES REDDEN WITH TEARS AND HE CALLS OUT FOR HIS SISTER

AND I'M FIGHTING BACK SOBS

WHILE JYL'S SWEET GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS AND JYL SMILES WARMLY AT HER LITTLE BROTHER

wn snaps wwx out of it

ONLY FOR WWX TO FLASHBACK TO JYL CRYING AND SAYING THAT THEY'RE THE CLOSEST THREE IN THE WORLD

WWX LEANS HIS HEAD ON HER KNEE AND SULKS ADORABLY ABOUT HOW HE'S HUNGRY 

AND I WANNA DIE FROM ALL THE FEELINGS I'M HAVING

back on the boat, wwx eyes are still filled with tears and it's awful

wn is all, wwx what's wrong? and wwx shakes it off and just says he's hungry

so he yanks out some lotus pods from the lake and gives one to lwj and one to wn and one for himself

HE'S SMILING NOW, THANK GOD

wwx: it's perfect timing to be here now!

and he's happily tearing into the pod

I LOVE SEEING HIM HAPPY AND SMILING

SUCH LITTLE JOYS AND HE REVELS IN IT

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

HE SHOULD ALWAYS BE HAPPY AND SMILING. 

NOTHING SHOULD EVER BE ALLOWED TO MAKE HIM SAD. NOTHING

lwj: wei ying

wwx: what

lwj: does this lake belong to someone?

LOL, HE GAVE THE POD A SUSPICIOUS LOOK BEFORE ASKING THAT AND HAS NOT TRIED GETTING ANY SEEDS OUT YET

wwx: of course not

HE SAYS IN A COMPLETELY NOT BELIEVABLE WAY

YOU CAN TELL BY HOW HE DOESN'T LOOK LWJ IN THE EYE AS HE RESPONDED AND KEEPS MUNCHING AWAY ON THE SEEDS AS A DISTRACTION

Lwj is watching like, yeah, i’m not buying it.

lwj: i heard that lakes here all have owners.

lolol wwx pauses in his chewing for a second and looks around guiltily for a bit before letting out a nervous laugh

wwx: hanguang jun, you really hear much, don't you? i didn't even know that.

he's looking at him all innocently and LWJ LOOKS BACK STILL NOT BUYING IT LOLOLOL

wwx looks away and then looks back, relenting

wwx: fine. 

HE'S ALL POUTY, IT'S ADORABLE, I LOVE HIM

he sulkily tells wn to get them moving

and sulkily tosses his lotus pod at the bottom of the boat

HE'S JUST HAVING A SULK-FEST RN AND IT'S SUPER CUTE, I'M ENJOYING IT A LOT

wn starts to get the paddles to get the boat going, when lwj suddenly leans over the side of the boat and snaps up a lotus pod

he very seriously offers it to his wei ying, who is watching him wide-eyed and surprised

lwj: only for today  

bc i just found out about your traumatic golden core transfer for your awful ungrateful little brother and i feel horrible that you suffered alone, he doesn’t say

bc i wish i could have done something to help but i couldn't so now i'm gonna steal you a lotus pod bc that's literally all i can do right now, he also doesn’t say

LOL

THE WAY THE CAMERA CUTS TO WN HERE CRACKS ME UP

WN IS JUST PASSIVELY MUNCHING ON A SEED AND WATCHING THAT EXCHANGE HAPPEN WITH HIS BIG BROWN EYES TAKING IT IN, WITH A VAGUE, "HUH, THAT'S INTERESTING" MANNER

wwx looks at the pod and then back at lwj before taking the pod with a nervous laugh

I am convinced that he had WAR-FLASHBACKS to that time drunk!lwj gave him roosters

He’s probably frantically trying to remember if lwj drank ANY alcohol earlier

TRYING TO CALCULATE THE CHANCES OF SOMEONE SLIPPING SOME ALCOHOL TO LWJ BETWEEN THEIR FIGHT WITH JC TO THIS BOAT ESCAPE LOLOLOLOL

he clutches that pod with both hands and gives lwj a pained smile 

The exact pained smile he had when he accepted the roosters that time

LMAO WWX TURNS TO LOOK AT WN, HIS BROWS ALL FURROWED IN CONFUSION LIKE, WN WHAT THE HECK IS HAPPENING, EXPLAIN WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

but wn just smiles cheerfully at him

cut to the next moment where we see the boat's floor is now littered with a bunch of lotus pods and wwx is happily munching on seeds, all smiley

BUT OF COURSE I'M NOT ALLOWED TO ENJOY HAPPY PEACEFUL MOMENTS EVER

SO A GLOWY GLITTERY MESSENGER BUTTERFLY APPEARS AND LANDS ON LWJ'S OUTSTRETCHED PALM

I mean, wwx giggled happily there for a moment there!!!!! WHY CAN'T THEY LET ME BASK IN THAT FOR ONE MINUTE, GOD.

anyway, the butterfly

wwx: the paper butterfly messenger from the jin clan?

(side note to say that the butterfly messenger is actually very pretty. i like it a lot)

wwx pats lwj on the knee after the butterfly flies away

wwx: what happened? what did it say?

Lwj’s like, jgy is in yunmeng now and my brother hasn’t responded to my message...

wwx: you worry jgy would harm him when desperate?

bc wwx can tell right away when lwj is worried. BC THEY'RE SOULMATES AND THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL

And then bc my sunshine boy is a GENIUS, he remembers the deed jgy had hidden away in the secret chamber, for Yunping City in Yunmeng

he excitedly tells lwj that this is where jgy will be

lol he was so excited he tipped himself over a bit and jostled the boat so lwj had to reach out to steady him

we cut to the next scene we see people dying fabrics and our boys wander through 

Wwx confirms with some random worker lady that they’re in the right place and tells lwj they should explore the city as a date for Plot Investigation Reasons

lwj nods in agreement and then wwx turns back to look at the lady and gives her THE SWEETEST SMILE, THE ONE THAT SQUINCHES HIS EYES CLOSED AND MAKES ME SWOON

BUT LOL LWJ SEES HIM SMILE AT THE LADY LIKE THAT AND IT NOT AMUSED BY IT AT ALL

oh god, just the way his eyes flick from wwx to the lady and how his lips firm up before he stalks off in a snit cracks me up

GREEN IS NOT YOUR COLOR, LAN ZHAN, I'M JUST SAYING

LET THE GUY SMILE AT ME, I MEAN AT PEOPLE. IT'S NOT A CRIME

wwx is confused by the reaction but hurries off after him

oh wwx, you dense idiot. you're lucky i love you so

now we see come random guys bully wn for no reason 😞

wwx tells them to back off but they don't listen and lwj very nonchalantly pulls out a talisman from his sleeve and offers it to wwx

wwx looks at the talisman and then back at lwj with SUCH A PLEASED SMILE

OMG I WOULD DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING FOR HIM TO SMILE AT ME LIKE THAT

wwx: lan zhan, you even kept it until now?

AHHHHHH SO CUTE, I LOVE HIM

lwj doesn't respond but it doesn’t matter bc wwx does that squinchy-eyed smile AGAIN AND I DIE, I DIE

wwx activates the talisman which releases a whole bunch of glittery butterflies that distract the guys and allow wn to escape. 

omg guys, this is the same trick lwj used to distract wen chao and wen zhuliu to escape ages and ages ago WHICH MEANS LWJ HAS BEEN CARRYING A PIECE OF WWX WITH HIM ALL THESE YEARS AHHHHHHHHH

And after that wonderful, touching revelation, the episode ends.

SO, we had lots of depressing Yunmeng Bros Feelings that made me wanna die 

BUT we also at the end here get rewarded with MULTIPLE squinchy-eyed smiles from my most precious darling sunshine boy that made me wanna die but, like, in a good way

I WOULD ENDURE SO MUCH MORE FOR THOSE SMILE, NGL

Return to Masterpost

[bottomlwjrights]

MO DAO ZU SHI REREAD:Thoughts™️....and Stuff

Chapter 43

Oh im trying so hard to stay calm as im about to read this but im so excited i love these chapters

Im really trying but even wwx making the effort to analyze lwj’s face is driving me nuts

Id just like to point out these chapters are titled “Allure”

Oh no this is like what he did when they were writing in the library

“Both his features and the hand at his forehead were impeccably fair in color. He looked as if he was a piece of fine jade”

Wwx was describing how lwj smells and how the sandalwood scent was warmed up by the wine and then said “the scent could almost be described as intoxicating” im gonna scream

“Now that Wei WuXian was near enough, the scent intertwined with his breaths. He couldn’t help but bent down further so that he was even closer to Lan WangJi. Vaguely, he thought to himself, Strange… Why is it starting to feel a bit hot in here?” Ohohoho

“Wei WuXian finally noticed that his heart was beating a bit too fast.” Shut uuuuuup

Okay im gonna lose my mind, i love wen ning

Also he left a man shaped dent in the ground when he fell

“Won’t you be a good boy?” Wwx calling lwj a good boy is canon so suck it i guess

Wwx brushing his fingers along lwj’s eyelashes is tender

Wwx, @ wn knealing in front of him: what the fuck are you doing? Stand up

Wwx obviously believes wn to be an equal to him, kneeling when he kneels, kowtowing when he kowtows until wn finally decides to stand in front of him

Wow anyways loved that ningxian moment

God....i feel so bad for wn...

Jin Ling....please...

This scene hurts me

Goddamn is wn someone who takes the blame for everything

Do NoT kiCk My BoY

Just a note, wwx does come to wn’s defense here, pulling lwj back and telling him to calm down

Wwx really doesnt like it when wn kneels to him

“Lan WangJi scrunched his brows and covered his ears. He then turned around with his back toward Wen Ning. Facing Wei WuXian, he used his own body to block their eye contact.” Lwj acts like such a little kid when he’s drunk oh my gosh

“Just as he was about to leave, Wei WuXian stopped him, ‘Wen Ning, why don’t you… find somewhere to hide first?’ Wen Ning paused for a second. Wei WuXian added, ‘One can say that you’ve died twice already. Go get some good rest.’” I dont care what anyone else says this is sweet “go get some good rest” 🤧

Lwj really took off his forehead ribbon for wwx without skipping a beat wow....

Oh and how wrong wwx is about it not holding any significance, he just doesnt know it yet

Trying to stay calm, trying not to scream about lwj taking off his forehead ribbon for wwx and then tying his wrists together with it

Knfnckc lwj reaching to take off wwx clothes again slnfckfk

“You said that you’ll listen to me, didn’t you? Be a good boy and take it off.” Twice in one chapter? Im being fed 

“Lan WangJi stared into the distance as he tugged at the ends of the forehead ribbon, contently swinging them around.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺 thats so cute

Ooooh lwj decided to show people when wwx said it would look bad on lwj if someone else saw them because he doesnt care if it makes him look bad hes gonna publicly claim wwx as his

Only ljy would hurl himself across a table to cover up a bottle of wine lmao

Lan WangJi is So shameless, holds up wwx’s hands tied with his forehead ribbon in front of his son and the other Lan disciples who know exactly what that means

Chapter 44

Chicken wing chicken wing

God im never gonna get over lsz shoving the chicken wing back into ljy’s mouth

Oh pls....lwj shoving wwx on the bed...

Oh!!! I forgot that after wwx said ow, lwj checked his head... he really didnt wanna hurt him

I really vibe with lwj being so concerned and gentle

“Sitting on the bed, Lan WangJi hugged his knees and clutched the hand that Wei WuXian had just licked to his chest, not moving at all.” I 🥺🥺🥺🥺

My god lwj was scared that he was gonna wipe it off 😭😭😭

Okay this is so so so cute, i dont care what anyone else thinks

“Hiding behind the screen, he showed only half of his fair-skinned face, peeking silently at the direction of Wei WuXian.” This tears me up

“You caught me”

“he enunciated each word with heavy emphasis and sounded anxiously eager” jakfncjfof gOD

Aw :( you’re not gonna lick me??? :(

Anyways lwj likes to be licked my wwx 👀

“Again clutching the hand that had been licked, he faced the wall silently.” Goddamnit this is so fucking cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Listen they should play chase or hide-and-seek post canon, like itd be so cute and sweet, somebody should hop on that 

“As he spoke, he held up one of Lan WangJi’s hands, bent down, and kissed between two of his slender fingers.” Listen im trying to not freak out but this is incredibly tender

“Wei WuXian’s lips pressed onto his distinct knuckles. Softer than the touch of feather, his breaths wandered to the back of his hand, and he kissed again.” This entire scene is too much

Hand and wrists kisses are so tender good god im gonna scream

“Over the clothing, he kissed where his heart was” jajfnkc so sweet!

“Suddenly, however, as Wei WuXian stared at those soft, pale-red lips, he didn’t know what had taken over him, but he suddenly went and kissed them.After the kiss, he even licked them, as though a kiss wasn’t enough.” AHHHHHHHH

I know that lwj wanted to deescalate the affection, but did he have to do it by knocking himself out???

“Even though he was drunk, even though he wouldn’t remember anything when he sobers up, I still shouldn’t have done something so outrageous… It’s too disrespectful to him.” This is important

God i love when characters touch their own lips after a kiss it’s such a good trope 

“In the future, it was best to not make Lan Zhan drink anymore” this is also important

Okay this was one of my favorite chapters to read so far

Chapter 45

I physically cannot handle lwj gently picking wwx up off the ground and putting him into bed right now

“... Wei WuXian could see Lan WangJi’s still-indifferent face. He immediately felt more awake...” i cannot

This entire scene is too tender for me, lwj rubbing ointments on wwx’s wrists...

Thinking about how wwx and lwj shared both their firsts kiss and how they’ve never kissed anybody except eachother

It makes sense that people including wwx would assume that lwj is straight bc thats what people do even in modern times (bc homophobia and heteronormativity) but also how tf does anyone think lwj is anything except gay

“It’s possible that he’s never even had such thoughts before…” “But judging from Lan Zhan’s habit of self-restraint, he’s probably really careful about not crossing any lines.” false.

Lwj just letting the juniors socialize, because hes good

Wwx once again taking any chance he can to bestow knowledge and wisdom upon the juniors, this time jl

“After the mention of Lan WangJi, Jin Ling looked to Wei WuXian in a strange way. He wanted to say something, but held it back, ‘You and HanGuang-Jun… Nevermind.It’s your own business. Anyways, I don’t care about you guys at all. Have fun being cut-sleeve. The disease is incurable.’”JIN LING 

“I already know the meaning behind the GusuLan Sect’s forehead ribbon. Now that it’s already like this, then stay by HanGuang-Jun’s side properly. Even if you’re a cut-sleeve, you should be a modest one. Don’t go about messing with other men, especially people from our sect! Or else, don’t blame the results on me.” Kandkckdkdn i can NOT

The scene kills me wow

As my reading buddy asked, why does wwx not mention wn when talking about how jc and lwj know who he is? Like does he not think thats pretty significant? especially bc thats one of the things that tipped jc off

LWJ IS SO SASSY 😨

Also pls stop picking on him about his memory

Ahhh the damsel of annual blossoms...

God i love wwx.....

Did lwj write the book that lsz read this from......

“Although still expressionless, an unusual glint hid beneath his eyes. He looked as though he was laughing at him.”

GOD “Wei WuXian’s heart skipped a beat and then thumped faster and faster.”

Lsz is the one to tell wwx about the meaning of the forehead ribbon

The lan juniors blushing thinking about what wwx means to lwj

Once again, wwx describing lwjs appearance in depth, talking about how dashing he is

“Along with that overly-pretty face of Lan WangJi’s, now that they met again, Wei WuXian’s eyes had momentarily been blinded by his looks, failing to immediately recognize him.”

“Softer than even the touch of catkin blossoms carried by the wind, the object made Wei WuXian’s cheek itch....The ends of his forehead ribbon danced in the breeze, gently brushing against Wei WuXian’s face.” Wow....i love this imagery with all my heart

The way that somethings are worded in this novel is just so beautiful

Lxc and the others lan sect disciples reactions....

Yanno the lan disciple who whispered “a man” definitely wasnt making things better, considering lwj definitely had a crush on wwx at this point

“He seems a bit too excited. It seems like he really loves HanGuang-Jun a lot. Look at how happy he is…” WHICH LAN SAID THIS

Wwx is so mortified by this entire situation because he kept violating something sacred to lwj, doing something so intimate like touching his forehead ribbon without his consent and he didn’t even really know that he was doing it 

[bemused-writer]

Writer Asks

Tagged by: @grelleswife Thanks for the tag! ^^

Author name: I go by Bemused Writer pretty consistently now! In the past I went by Sky Falls and Elisabetta Avalone as well in the early 2000s on FF.Net. Bemused Writer became my default by accident if I’m completely honest and it’s because of Tumblr. XD Eventually I figured it would be nice if people could easily recognize my works, so there it is!

Fandoms you write for: At the moment I’m mostly writing for Vanitas no Carte but I’ve written for several fandoms including Pandora Hearts, Voltron, Dragon Age, Good Omens, Blackwell series, etc. In the past I wrote for Death Note, Harry Potter, Naruto, and Fullmetal Alchemist (this was back in the FF.Net days; most of those aren’t online anymore, alas). I’d actually like to write for those fandoms again someday, but for now I’m focusing on my in progress stories. ^^

Where you post: AO3, FF.Net, and Dreamwidth primarily. AO3 updates the fastest.

Most popular oneshot:  Based off of the kudos count on AO3 it’s basically a tie between two oneshots: Earth Is Where the Heart Is (Good Omens) at 97 kudos and Trust (Banana Fish) at 94. 

Earth Is Where the Heart Is was my take on what things would be like if Crowley really had been the archangel Raphael before he fell and what his time in Heaven would have been like and how his friendship with Aziraphale and Lucifer developed.

Trust was a look at what might have happened if Eiji had taken Ash up on his offer to “come alone next time” and visit him in prison. That makes it sound kind of ominous, but it was mostly fluffy with a bit of angst (it’s Banana Fish, so...).

I think it’s interesting that my most popular oneshots aren’t even remotely related to the fandoms I write for most. XD 

Most popular multichap: The reigning champion for this is still Change On the Horizon (Vanitas no Carte) with 116 kudos. I did this as a multichapter fic for the 2018 VaNoé week. It was a series of loosely connected stories showing the development of Vanitas and Noé‘s relationship from friends to possibly something more. I tried especially hard on this one to keep everyone in character and I feel pretty good about how it turned out. My personal favorite chapters were “Wearing Each Other’s Clothes,” “Face Holding,” “Ice Skating,” and the free day, which I used for “Rooftop Dance.”

Favourite story: Ahh, now that is a tough one. It’s often whatever I’ve written most recently. XD However! There are a few that have stayed with me, possibly because they truly reflected something I wished for in fandom most:

The Descent (Vanitas no Carte/Diablo AU) - I wrote this one so quickly; it just flowed out of my fingers. It was a very cheery kind of mania. XD Diablo is a game I’ve played since I was a kid, so getting to revisit that and write the characters in a new environment where everything is so different was a great deal of fun. I really liked having just three characters to focus on (Noé, Vanitas, and Jeanne) and how they related to one another through such difficult times. I’m working on the sequel right now as well and while it has a different tone, I’m enjoying that one, too. ^^

Dealing with Monsters (Vanitas no Carte) - I don’t write from Vanitas’s perspective as much as  I do Noé’s but this time I did as I explored a possible past for him. This was another one that just poured out.

Starting Over (Blackwell series) - This is probably the smallest fandom I’ve written for to date as far as AO3 popularity goes. But this story means a great deal to me simply because of how much I love Rosa and Joey. I write a lot of romance in my stories, but pure friendship and devotion still remains one of my favorite relationships to see depicted and I believe that’s what these two had. In terms of writing I also feel like I really captured their voices and I am proud of that. It was also pretty cathartic considering the actual events of the game. 8D

What Once Was (Dragon Age) - I always thought it was implied in DA2 that Merrill cared a great deal for the Warden, but that doesn’t often get explored in fandom or in the game itself either. In this story, I explore how she joined her clan, how she the met the Warden, and how she may have felt for Mahariel.

Story you were most nervous to post: Hmmm, no specific story, but I’m always a little concerned about posting things that are a little more explicit in any regard whether it’s violence or sexuality. As such, I probably rate things a little higher than they merit, but better safe than sorry.

How you pick your titles: I am the worst with titles. If I could just entitle everything “A Story about X” I probably would XD Instead, I usually attempt to name it after a theme present in the story.

Do you outline?  For chapter stories, often. How detailed the outline is depends on the kind of story. Whether or not I follow that outline is something else entirely, but the outline helps get the ideas flowing and then I know if something needs to be moved around, removed entirely, or if there’s an entire arc that needs to be added a little bit better.

Having said that, I have definitely started stories without any outline, added one later, and all that jazz, so it’s a mixed bag. XD

Complete stories:  According to AO3 I have 30 completed stories. Most of these are oneshots, of course.

In Progress:  I currently have 8 in progress. Two of these are meta-based, so there’s a little less urgency there. As such, I’d say 6 in-progress stories proper.

Coming Soon: I have about three stories planned for The Untamed! I also have chapters for the in-progress stories planned! I just ... need time to write and edit! 8D

Having said that, the next chapter for The Red Streets of Paris is currently at nearly 4k (woo!) and the combined word count for The Untamed stories is nearly at 7,500 words.

Prompts: I’m not totally sure I follow what this one is asking? But if it’s asking whether I take prompts the answer is not at this point in time. I already have way too many ideas I want to explore and several stories I need to wrap up. Attempting anything more would be too much. XD

Upcoming story you are most excited for: Right now I’m looking forward to finishing up a oneshot for The Untamed that explores what Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian discussed in The Silent Room after their revelations. I’m also looking forward to a multi-chapter story going over their adventures once they reunite. It will feature illness, curses, WWX defending LWJ, and a lot of chaos, so I think it will be fun. 8D

Five authors: I will tag @ineverywordandsong, @thecryoftheseagulls, @bagel-san, @descendant-of-truth, and @skylights422 if any of you would like to give this a go. ^^

[thesporkidentity]

The a-yuan broke my heart, I was crying like the final flashback battle all over again but they were happy tears, ya know? THE LEG HUG!!! Also is it just my dumb self or was his costume slightly different between the walking and then the final playing in those final 30 seconds? Not lying it's perfect either way but oh if it's like a little while later I can't with my child. Also oh my goodness can that boy smile like a sunbeam, my heart has been restored from the PAIN, SO MUCH PAIN.

Also with bby!Nie I literally called it, I knew something was up I was screaming and hollering. Don’t get me wrong there’s enough in the flashback that yeah they’re all dumb together but there’s enough hints there, just enough. It was very well done that section. I’m being extremely vague in case the other anon’s still around. I literally love everyone on the show even though in some cases I really shouldn’t because… jsdjcsd they belong in the garbage can.             

Don’t get me wrong I sympathize with them very deeply in some cases but in other cases like dude I wanna slam dunk them in the garbage where they belong for very good reasons. They seem to have added a lot more gray into the live drama from what I hear, which makes it a bit easier in every case but the consent issues (oh god the consent issues, that’s not going to be fun). I’m glad I might still get to try the AD! Apparently it’s the same voice actors so it’s like a rewatch but more canon ;)            

THE. LEG. HUG. he’s just such a precious baby duckling! and he’s ALIVE! and my god lan zhan fucking RAISED HIS CHILD FOR HIM like that is devotion right there and he did such a good job he turned out so well like even before knowing WHO he was he was ALREADY everyone’s favorite of the juniors.

if you’re talking about between lwj and wwx walking away and then the final thirty seconds with the silence and then the music then yeah it was a different costume. so even after lwj and wwx split to fulfill their own separate duties in the end they still come back together like, lwj tracks him down and finds him again (presumably when his duties are finished and the cultivation world has recovered from that chaos) because they’re fucking cultivation partners and after they do what their honor and goodness demands they finally get their happy ending of just wandering around and doing good together and it makes my heart so full.

nei huisang!!! my little dark horse! yeah i don’t want to spoil it but hot damn.

and yeah i’m not gonna judge you for loving the garbage people like, book jin guangyao is actually one of my favorite characters. (i just find him so fascinating because so much of him is so understandably human that, a few of his crimes aside, i can actually totally understand him. so you end up asking like, what was the tipping point? what number of his mistakes or which of his crimes took him from redeemable to unforgiveable? in a universe a little bit to the left could he have been a force for good or do you side with nie mingjue’s opinion that after his first crime that he could never be anything else?) i like that in most cases the villains in this story are so very human rather than a caricature, like aside from wen ruohan and wen chao they actually have reasons behind the bad things they do besides just ‘oh well they’re an evil character.’

as for the grey morality, the live-action actually took away a lot of that in my opinion (likely due to censorship reasons, so i wouldn’t blame the production for that they very obviously tried as hard as they could to be as faithful as they could) at least as far as the leads go. it’s like they polarized it so like wwx was better and jgy was worse, but at the same time those changes made some of the minor characters a little more gray though i guess because they were minor it was okay? skip these parts if you’re wary of spoilers.

**the villains are more evil, the heroes are more pure. like the show glosses over it but in the book one of jin guangyao’s biggest contributions to the cultivation world is a watchtower project where small groups of cultivators rotate through garrisons spaced out along the countryside in order to make it easier for the people under their protection to get help and to reduce reaction times when they detect surges of resentful energy. like, he fought a lot of the sect leaders on this since setting up garrisons could (and likely was) a first step towards consolidation of power, but at the same time it did protect the commoners and rural areas that a lot of the others deemed unimportant enough to really care about. but because that distracts from his misdeeds the show left it out to make him more explicitly evil. (also the whole NOT MENTIONING THAT HIS SON WAS CONCEIVED BEFORE HE KNEW SHE WAS HIS SISTER AND THEN HE NEVER TOUCHED HER AGAIN, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO TAKE THAT OUT AND MAKE HIM COMMIT INTENTIONAL INCEST??? anyway i’m fine it’s cool whatever) but for the most part everything he does isn’t about power just for power’s sake the way it seemed to be for wen ruohan or jin guangshan, it’s the impulse of someone who was abused and powerless amassing power because maybe if he gets enough he can finally keep himself safe (and the tragic thing is that it will never be enough because he cares so much about what everyone thinks about him that he could never achieve what he would view as “safe”)

and the live-action absolves wei wuxian of…basically all his crimes except maybe having a bit of a temper and a sharp tongue. the whole ancient ancestor of a destroyed clan creating yin metal? the wens already practicing demonic cultivation with xue yang? none of that was in the book. wei wuxian wasn’t just a demonic cultivator, he was the genius who invented it. xue yang didn’t even come in until much later as an imitator. it’s like the difference between someone who uses a gun versus someone who invented the gun and introduced that kind of harm into the world. and no one interfered with his usage of the tiger seal at the pass with jin zixuan or at nightless city. wei wuxian really was just emotionally compromised and he lost control and yeah it wasn’t intentional but it did kill people and it was very much on him.**

so like, there’s a lot more grey in the novel and who you decide to hate and who you decide to forgive is very much of the “when is a monster not a monster? oh, when you love it” variety. so if that’s your bag you might really enjoy that novel.

yeah the consent issues… the consent issues feel in my opinion  like…unnegotiated kink? at least that’s kinda how i interpreted it to get through the sex scenes (and also i’ve read in this series of posts that some of those consent issues are exacerbated by the translation and were not necessarily in the original text). like from POV you can tell that what he says and what he wants are two different things and he definitely wants, but it is not something that would be okay to do in your real life as opposed to in fiction without a pre-scene negotiation and a safe word so the lack of that might be a trouble spot for some people. and if you’re sensitive to that then definitely skip the incense burner extras. if it’s something you’re worried about then i’d say read that series of posts to make an informed decision.

and the voice actor for the AD is the same for wei ying, but different for lan wangji. but the same for some other actors. the live-action took a smattering of different people from the AD and the donghua. but it’s really good and it follows the book canon super closely and the scenes they add are really good.

okay i’ve blabbed on enough at this point i apparently like hearing myself…type? that expression works less well in this context. but yeah, done now lol

[trensu]

Episode 23: the One where JYL Captains the Ship

Alrighty, so battle stuff is happening

Nothing major going on 

EXCEPT wen ruohan leaves his evil lair to confront wwx about how he took control of his puppets!

Wrh: where did you get the Plot Device?? Did xy give it to you?? HOW ARE YOU MAKING IT WORK??

Basically just Angry Ranting that Bad Guys do

Wwx mouths off, as usual

Lwj’s eyes are glued on him this entire time bc when isn’t staring at wwx?

(I understand lwj, I too cannot tear my eyes away from wwx when he's onscreen, that beauty mark just under his lower lip is so goddamn distracting...)

Wwx: hey, wrh, i just finished making his nifty thing and haven’t shown anyone yet, wanna see it?

And tah dah! We now have Plot Device 2 (aka stygian tiger seal/amulet whatever)

Pay attention to Plot Device 2, guys, it’s gonna cause us some angsty wangxiantics in the future (BRACE YOURSELVES)

Pausing here to point out how freaking cool wwx looks, levitating the pieces of Plot Device 2

OH NO, WEN RUOHAN IS NOW CHOKING WWX

THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!

STOP HURTING MY SUNSHINE BOY

And wwx is smirking in victory?? What the heck wwx

Oh, it’s bc since wrh and wwx are wrapped up in their confrontation, there’s no one controlling the puppets so the puppets all collapse. That was part of his plan, maybe?? Idk, doesn’t matter

What matters is that this frees up LWJ to fly to wwx’s side

WHICH MEANS THAT LWJ IS THERE TO CATCH WWX ONCE WRH DROPS HIM!!

Lwj: Wei Ying! *catches his soulmate*

Wwx: *passes out in the arms of his very dashing soulmate*

Lwj barely even acknowledges that Meng Yao kills Wen Ruohan bc who cares about the big bad villain getting killed whEN YOUR SOULMATE IS PASSED OUT IN YOUR ARMS??

Lwj: Wei Ying

He says again! As his eyes stay glued onto wwx’s beautiful unconscious face. HE HOLDS HIM SO CLOSE

I mean, he could totally hold him CLOSER but that would be too much for the censors maybe??

Ppl are cheering. I was cheering. I don’t think we were cheering for the same reasons.

I was cheering bc lwj was ~tenderly cradling~ our beautiful sunshine boy

I think the other ppl were cheering bc the bad guy died? Weird.

LOL, DEJA VU MOMENT HERE

Lxc is cradling an unconscious Nmj

I guess the lan bros ARE pretty similar lolol

Boring stuff. Plot stuff. OMG I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY MENG YAO, SHUT UP.

Ahhhh, this next scene!

WWX is waking up in a bed and jyl is at the bedside.

Jyl starts bringing out the wangxian pie~! Maybe i should start using soup metaphors since Soup is her Thing…

Jyl is so happy that wwx is awake now!!

Jyl: you’ve been asleep for three (3) days!

Wwx: THREE DAYS??? What about jc and lwj??

HE IMMEDIATELY ASKS ABOUT THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT GUYS IN HIS LIFE, I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOY.

Jyl: both jc and lwj have been very worried about you! 

We find out that even sect leader jin has been visiting which is disgusting, so we’re ignoring it

Oh, jyl is trying to get wwx to stop moving around so much

Jyl: LWJ says you need to rest more. He says you used too much spiritual energy

LWJ HAS BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF HIM THIS WHOLE TIME

JYL TRUSTS HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HER LITTLE BROTHER!!!

Jyl: also don’t use Plot Device 2 all willy-nilly. LWJ says it’ll hurt you!!

Wwx: LWJ, LWJ, why do you keep talking about him? He’s so boring and he doesn’t talk enough!

BUT HE SAYS THIS WITH A CUTE LITTLE FOND SMILE

BC THINKING ABOUT LWJ MAKES HIM HAPPY

BOYYYYY

YOUR CRUSH CAN BE SEEN FROM PRESENT-DAY NON-FANTASY CHINA (but, uh, discreetly, bc of censorship)

Jyl: while you were comatose, lwj came by every morning and evening to play his guqin for you. To relax your mind and spirit

Jyl: you probably wouldn’t have woken up so soon if he hadn’t done that

AHHHHHHH THIS NEXT SCENE!!!!!

JYL IS JUST SPOONFEEDING US WANGXIAN PIE NOW

SHE’S GIVING US A BIG OL’ HELPING OF WANGXIAN PIE HERE!! WHICH IS GREAT BC I AM STARVING

Here comes lwj, with his guqin strapped to his back!

Lwj actually brings himself to knock on the door this time

SEE, THAT WASN’T SO HARD, WAS IT LWJ?? WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE??

Jyl: oh, that must be lwj~!

ohhh, wwx's face when she says this! He looks all nervous and flustered

bc he has a ~gentleman caller~ and he’s not decent!!! 

HE’S ONLY IN HIS ENTICING RED UNDER-ROBES!! IN BED!! AND LWJ IS VISITING!!

Okay, that’s probably not why BUT IN MY HEART THAT’S TOTALLY WHY

So jyl goes and answers the door

Lwj bows so respectfully to her (he knows she’s wwx’s precious person!!)

LOL, I LOVE HOW JYL DOESN’T MENTION THAT WWX IS AWAKE HERE

THAT’S MY CAPTAIN!! Lxc wishes he could captain as good

she just greets him like usual and lets him in

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S WAITING FOR HIM INSIDE

IT’S AMAZING, JYL IS THE BEST

She leads him to the bedroom aND OH GOD, THE MINUTE LWJ’S EYES LAND ON WWX

HIS LIPS PART AS IF HIS BREATHING HITCHED IN HIS THROAT

HIS EYES NOTICEABLY WIDEN IN SURPRISE 

THERE’S A SLIGHT PAUSE IN HIS STEPS!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE’S SUPER EXPRESSIVE HERE GUYS 

(...well, by lwj standards anyway)

And ooooh, wwx’s reaction is adorable!!

His eyes catch lwj’s gaze for half a second before they skitter down to the side as if seeing lwj in person (in his bedroom!!) is too much to take in all at once!

HE’S SO FLUSTERED?? HIS EYES ARE FLICKERING TO AND FRO TRYING TO LOOK AT ANYTHING BUT LWJ. 

HE’S SO NERVOUS IT’S ADORABLE I CAN’T HANDLE IT

(i may have rewound to watch this scene 3x, DON’T JUDGE ME)

(there was so much happening! Lwj’s beautiful plush lips parted, wwx was acting cutely bashful)

(WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT, HUH? JUST WATCH IT ONCE AND MOVE ON?? I DON’T THINK SO)

And you know, jyl leads lwj like, right to wwx’s bedside and WATCHES ALL THIS GO DOWN

YOU KNOW SHE NOTICED ALL THESE THINGS TOO

I’M NOT A CRAZY PERSON HERE

Jyl: thank you, lwj! Without you, wwx would not have woken up so soon!

Jyl: you two go ahead and talk now

Jyl: i’ll just go tend to the other wounded

Jyl: and leave you both here ~all alone~

Jyl: in this bedroom

Jyl: with wwx just in his under-things

Jyl: still on his rumpled bed

Jyl: okay, byyyyeee~!

(LXC AND JYL NEED TO HANG OUT AND TALK ABOUT THEIR LITTLE BROTHERS AND HOW HOPELESS THEY ARE AROUND EACH OTHER)

(THIS IS A THING THAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN)

Okay, and now not only do we get MORE wangxian time, we also just get the most beautiful scene ever?? Like, aesthetically? THIS SHOW IS A BLESSING

Lwj is playing his guqin in the communal area next to wwx

The music is gorgeous (it's the same Magic Music from before! it sounds like warm morning sunlight on a calm spring day)

And the set is beautiful, all reds and whites to match our boys’ colors, and it’s all emphasized with equally beautiful lighting

Wwx: lan zhan, actually, i--

Lwj: quiet. Concentrate.

Wwx POUTS and taps his nose and then SULKILY crosses his legs

HE’S THE MOST ADORABLE BOY IN THE WORLD AND I LOVE HIM

IF LWJ WOULDN’T MURDER ME IMMEDIATELY, I’D GO AND PROPOSE TO WWX RIGHT NOW

ACTUALLY I’D PROBABLY DO IT ANYWAY

I’VE LIVED A GOOD LIFE, I PROBABLY WON’T ACCOMPLISH MUCH ELSE WITH IT. IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT.

Ahem

Back to the utterly breathtaking wangxian scene

No seriously, EVERYTHING IS SO GORGEOUS?

ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL SHOTS

THE CLOSE UP ON THE FLOWERS

THE UNFOCUSED SHOTS THROUGH THE HANGING SCREENS

THE LIGHTING THE COLORS THE MUSIC

LWJ IN HIS PHENOMENAL WHITE OUTFIT AND WWX IN HIS INDECENT RED ROBES

IT ALL ADDS UP TO THIS SYRUPY DREAMY SCENE THAT’S JUST, UGH, DRIPPING WITH TENDERNESS AND ROMANCE

IT’S TOO MUCH IT’S TOO MUCH

Okay, i’m done geeking out over the aesthetics

Oh, wwx is breaking his meditation pose and flexing his wrists excitedly!

Wwx: lan zhan, i’m all better now!

Lwj stops playing and calmly makes his way to the bed where wei ying is and checks him

Lwj: three more days are needed

Wwx does not like this answer lol. He leaps up from the bed all affronted

Wwx: but i’m totally fine now, look! *starts flexing his arms around*

Lwj is not budging on this tho

Lwj: exorcise evil, ease the mind. Do not be neglectful

Wwx: exorcise evil? I don’t need an exorcism!! I just used too much energy

Cue awkward silence (lwj’s eyes never waver from wwx tho)

Lwj: wei ying (you know, i think he just likes saying his name...)

Wwx: lan zhan, do you really think that Plot Device 2 is evil? Do you really believe there’s an undetectable something that can change someone from good to evil?

Ooooh, wwx is getting all philosophical on us!!

His brow is all furrowed here; he’s hurt that lwj doesn’t trust him with Plot Device 2!

And that’s the end of that MOST DELICIOUS SLICE WANGXIAN PIE

Other stuff happens

Screaming, the murder of innocent people, sect leaders debating on said murder of innocent people

You know, boring stuff.

There was a fun bit here tho

Nmj: maybe it’s okay to kill innocent civilians…

Lxc: *sad face*

Nmj: uh, maybe we can NOT kill defenseless people this time?

Ahhh, if only lan zhan’s sad face was effective on wei ying as lxc’s is to nmj…

Plot plot plot Jgs being an asshole Plot plot plot

MORE plot plotty plot plot

OH NO

WE’RE ON A CLIFF IN NIGHTLESS CITY

THAT CLIFF WE DON’T LIKE

THAT REALLY REALLY HORRIBLE AWFUL NO GOOD CLIFF

AND WWX IS STANDING CLOSE TO THE EDGE OF IT GET AWAY FROM THERE WWX, GET AWAY RIGHT NOW

And now lwj joins him

Wwx: lan zhan, what do you think of the people here? Who is good, who is evil?

Yeesh, getting right into the heavy stuff aren’t we

Like, nbd, i’m just gonna compLETELY CHANGE YOUR WORLDVIEW AND TEACH YOU SHADES OF GRAY (AGAIN)

Oooh, but as he says that, he starts clutching at his chest and swaying on his feet! Bc the resentful energy is hurting him!!!

Lwj grabs his arm to steady him

Lwj: wei ying, concentrate

Great, it’s about to get real hurt-y now

Lwj: wei ying, do you want to learn how to play Magic Music?

Wwx: lan zhan, you want me to learn that? Do you doubt me, too?

And the way he says it!! It’s a tone that says “please don’t let this be true”

BUT LWJ LOOKS AWAY AND FLASHBACKS TO WHAT WRH WAS RANTING ABOUT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EP

WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT LWJ. WHY.

So instead of answering wwx, he just questions him on why he made Plot Device 2???

THAT IS THE WRONG APPROACH LWJ

THAT WILL NOT GET YOU WHAT YOU REALLY WANT 

Wwx: lan zhan, if i told you i got a Screaming Sword of Resentment from the Murder Turtle would you believe me?

Lwj keeps answering questions with questions and the whole convo is devolving horribly

Lwj: if you already knew the sword had Plot Device stuff in it, why did you refine it?

Wwx: LAN ZHAN, ENOUGH

he snaps at lwj

he raised his voice at lwj

Lwj: you promised you’d let me help you (he says calmly)

Wwx: if you don’t believe in me, how can you help me?

OUCH

Lwj: Plot device 2 isn’t safe, you might lose control!

Wwx: you’re scared i’ll be like wen ruohan, but i’m not him! And Plot Device 2 is not the same as Plot Device!

And then before we can get too emotional about our soulmate boys being at odds (AGAIN), we get to witness the murder of innocent people

How fun

Jin Zixun shows us he’s scum of the earth by trying to shoot down a Wen mother carrying her child as she flees

Thank goodness lwj guqin’s the arrow away

There’s a confrontation but lwj doesn’t let wwx tear into jin zixun even tHO HE CLEARLY DESERVES IT

And everyone leaves but not before wwx comments that there’s gonna be a lot of resentment here where the innocents were killed and that the place needed Magic Music 

Oh, turns out lwj didn’t leave

Lwj stays at the scene of the crime and plays Magic Music on his guqin.

As soon as wwx hears it, he starts playing counterpoint on his flute!

I love it when they play music together, Magic or not!!

We cut away here to watch lxc, nmj, and jgy become Official Bros™

BORING

Now Jgs and jgy are hosting a banquet

STILL BORING

Political posturing happens

SO BORING

Wait, something interesting just happened!

We see lwj just up and leave the banquet the moment he realizes wwx isn’t there

Bc wwx is out on the steps getting drunk

(wwx, we’ve talked about this. Drinking is not a Solution)

Wwx: lan zhan, it’s you! How about playing some Magic Music? (I'm detecting some sarcasm…)

Lwj: i’m learning a new score

Wwx: *scoffs* you haven’t given up yet? You’re really stubborn *mocking snort*

STOP BEING MEAN, WWX

That’s the last bit of wangxiantics we have for this episode

JYL GAVE US SUCH A GREAT MOMENT AND WE ENDED UP AT ODDS AGAIN

IT’S A WHOLE "ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK" SITUATION

I DON’T LIKE IT

Return to Masterpost

[trensu]

Episode 29: The One where WWX is the Grandmaster of Self-Loathing and It Kills Me

~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND ALREADY

WHICH MEANS WE’RE STARTING THE EPISODE WITH QUALITY WANGXIANTICS

Actually the whole episode has High Quality wangxiantics and then it guts you with depressing feelings ahahaha 

bc apparently we’re not allowed to have nice things without Suffering™

So they’re sharing a meal at some meal-selling place in Yiling (idk guys, is it a winehouse? a teahouse?? An inn??? DOESN’T MATTER)

Lwj and wwx are sitting on either side of the table looking somber

I guess they’re feeling awkward maybe??

Idk why, it’s weird

A-Yuan starts frolicking around lwj and wwx gets all antsy about it

He’s all hey, stop bothering lan zhan, come here!

And A-Yuan is all like, NO, I DON’T WANNA and clambers oNTO LWJ’S LAP

IT’S TOO ADORABLE

Wwx starts to scold him but lwj is like NO NO, THIS IS FINE

Wwx teases a-yuan

He’s all, oh, i see how it is, you’ll just chuck me to the side for anyone who’s willing to buy you stuff, huh?

Like i said before, a-yuan is a smart cookie

Then a-yuan takes a seat and goes to town on a bowl of soup.

I understand, a-yuan, i love soup too.

And then he calls wwx to get his attention SO HE CAN SPOON-FEED HIM A BIT OF HIS SOUP AND IT’S TOO CUTE 

Wwx is like, oh, so you DO still love me!

Lwj watches this go down and then informs A-Yuan very somberly of the lan fam rule “no talking during meals”

That’s RIGHT

LWJ JUST DAD’D THE HECK OUT OF HIM

A-yuan continues to chow down on his food but definitely stops talking

Wwx is offended and aghast that a-yuan obeys lwj so easily and he complains to lwj that he has to repeat himself SEVERAL TIMES before a-yuan listens to him

Lwj: silence during meals. You too.

Wwx just smiles at the ridiculous rule and continues talking

Wwx: you haven’t changed one bit. 

Wwx: you know, i know my way around this town, i can be your tour guide!!

Lwj pointedly does not take him up on his offer AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY, IT’S NOT LIKE HE DOESN’T WANT TO SPEND EVERY WAKING MOMENT WITH WWX ANYWAY

Wwx: lan zhan, you’re a terrible liar. You aren’t in town for me, are you?

And still lwj doesn’t respond??? 

IT’S BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID LAN FAM RULE, ISN’T IT??

TALK TO YOU SOULMATE, DAMN IT

WHO CARES IF YOU’RE HAVING A MEAL WHILE YOU’RE AT IT

Wwx: you know, i was gonna invite you over to my place but if you’re just gonna nag at me about my demonic cultivation and how i should meditate or whatever, then forget about it

Wwx: i can control myself! I don’t need anyone to save me.

Lwj: wei ying

Wwx: lan zhan, i finally bump into someone i know who doesn’t try to avoid me...it’s been a boring couple of months, why don’t you tell me about any big events happening?

Lwj: what do you mean by big events?

Wwx: idk, like if there’s any new clans or if any clans expanded or made new alliances...just chit chat! Anything is fine.

Lwj: a marriage

Wwx: a marriage? Which clans? 

he sounds so excited to get some juicy gossip here

It’s not gonna last long

Lwj: the jin clan and jiang clan

Wwx: do you mean my sister---Lady Jiang and Jin Zixuan?

Oh god it HURTS

He corrected himself when he called jyl his sister

BECAUSE HE’S NOT PART OF THEIR CLAN ANYMORE

And then he plasters on a smile TO HIDE HOW HURT HE IS THAT THIS IS ALL HAPPENING WITHOUT HIM and asks when the wedding will be

WHICH TURNS OUT TO BE TWO WEEKS AWAY

And his face iS ALL SAD AND HE’S STILL TRYING TO MUSTER UP SMILES 

He’s all, such a big event and jc didn’t even try to tell me about it!

Wwx: even if he told me about it, what could i do then? I defected officially and have no ties to them. What could i do if he had told me?

Wwx: *chugs wine*

Alcohol, wwx, we’ve talked about the alcohol thing. Please stop drinking.

LWJ CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM RIGHT NOW BC HIS SOULMATE IS HURTING AND THERE’S NOTHING HE CAN DO TO MAKE IT BETTER

Wwx: lan zhan, what do you think about this marriage? Oh, right, you don’t care about this sort of thing.

Wwx: i know everyone says that my sister doesn’t deserve jzx, but in MY eyes, that peacock doesn’t deserve her! 

He slams down his wine jar and his voice gets all upset 

And little a-yuan reaches out and grabs wwx’s wrist TO COMFORT HIM, PRECIOUS DARLING BABY

Wwx: She deserves the best man in the world!! JC and i promised her a grand wedding that would be remembered forever!! No other wedding would compare!!

Wwx: and it doesn’t even matter because i won’t be able to go anyway.

AND HE HAS THE SADDEST SMILE ON HIS FACE 

Obviously he takes another swig of wine here because alcohol makes everything better in wwx’s book, which is a lie but since when does anyone listen to me

Lwj: wei ying

And lwj was about to say something else but they get interrupted by wwx’s home alarm talisman informing him that’s something going down in the burial mounds

So wwx grabs a-yuan and dashes out the door

Lwj is quick enough on his feet to remember to pay for the meal and grab a-yuan’s toys (very important, very important, it’s why a-yuan likes him right now) and then follows wwx

Wwx: lan zhan, why are you following us??

Lwj: wei ying, where’s your Magic Ghostbusting Sword?

Wwx: uhhhh...i forgot it at home?

Lol, lwj doesn’t even bother to respond to that. He just grabs a-yuan and runs with wwx all the way back to the burial mounds

OH NO, THERE’S RESENTFUL ENERGY EVERYWHERE BEATING PEOPLE UP AND MAKING A MESS OF THINGS

Holy crap, wwx does this really impressive Dramatic Twirl and magically slams the resentful energy away

HE’S SUCH A BADASS

IT’S ALL IN THE ~TWIRL~ BABY

Lwj hands a-yuan off to granny while wwx gets the low-down

Turns out Wen Ning sort of woke up but is not, like, all there or smth idk

It’s sad seeing wen ning all violent and mean like this when he’s such a gentle soul :(

ON THE PLUS SIDE, we get to see wwx and lwj work together to save him!!

Surprisingly, the flying here is not super cringey, it’s only mildly awful

LWJ HAS GOT HIS GUQIN OUT AND PROCEEDS TO GUQIN THE HECK OUT OF WEN NING

Also, i love how it kind of looks like he “powers up” his guqin attack by making that circular motion over the strings? The accompanying music from that motion really makes it seem like it’s charging up. I like it.

While lwj is guqin’ing wen ning to stay in one place, wwx goes ninja-fast and slaps like, ALL the talismans on wen ning and activates them simultaneously

And between the two of them, they manage to save wen ning from being a mindless zombie forever!! I mean, he’s still a zombie but he’s got his mind back! EVERYONE’S REALLY HAPPY, INCLUDING ME.

Wwx to wen ning: how are you feeling?

Wn: i feel like crying

LOL ME TOO WN THAT’S USUALLY HOW I FEEL LIKE WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME THAT

Wn: ...but i can’t

Oh.

I take back my lol

Not being able to cry when you want to is actually super depressing.

Lwj: you did it *is impressed*

Wwx: of course! I’m a man of my word. Hey, since you’re already here, why don’t you visit for a bit?

Cut to wwx and lwj walking into the cave that wwx calls home

Lwj: ...it’s called the demon-subdue palace?

Wwx: YEP! I named it myself!!

Wwx: now, i know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s a terrible name, BUT THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE WRONG

Wwx: see, i know everyone thinks i’m, like, evil or whatever and this is the place i sleep most often. 

Wwx: a cave with a demonic man lying down in it all the time? Of course it should be called demon-subdue palace lololol

Me: *facepalm* stop….stop naming things, wwx.

Wwx: let me show you around!

I would like to point out that they walk past the ONE BED in the cave to start the tour

This ONE BED in this SPECIFIC CAVE has featured in many a wonderful fic! And should continue to feature in many more wonderful fics

Wwx: this here is my Blood Pool! It’s where i heal up and buff my stats, just like you have your Cold Spring! Except mine has water that smells like blood and comes out of that creepy giant stone face thing

Lwj looks rightfully concerned

And also, i am offended on his behalf that wwx would compare this creepy ass pool to the cold spring. How very dare.

Oh man, they’re about to have a Serious Conversation

BUT IT’S BETTER THAN THEIR LAST SERIOUS CONVERSATION

Because this time they actually talk things out

(see, lwj can learn from his mistakes!)

Lwj: wei ying...can you really control it?

Wwx: control what? Wen ning? Of course I can! Look at him, he’s all better!

Lwj: what if he loses himself again?

Wwx: i’m a pro at handling his rampages now. As long as i have Plot Device 2, nothing will happen to him!

Lwj: but what if something happens to you or Plot Device 2?

Wwx: it won’t

Lwj: how can you be sure?

Wwx: it won’t and it can’t!

Lwj: you want to keep it this way from now on?

Wwx: what’s wrong with that? Don’t underestimate this land! It’s bigger than YOUR land and the food here tastes better too!

Lwj: wei ying, you know what i mean

Wwx: lan zhan, i’m trying to avoid the topic and you keep talking about it!!

Then their Serious Conversation gets derailed bc wwx starts coughing. Which might not seem like a big deal but it is

Lwj: your injuries…

And here lwj grabs at wwx’s wrist but wwx yanks it back real fast

Bc the wrist is where they check for spiritual energy or smth and we all know wwx doesn’t have that anymore, since he GAVE UP HIS GOLDEN CORE

Wwx: no need. Why use spiritual energy for such a small wound. I can just sit here and let it heal on its own

LOL, WE’RE GETTING A FUN BIT HERE TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THAT SERIOUS STUFF BEFORE

Wen Qing walks in and is all, what, my badass doctor skills aren’t good enough for you? I could totally heal you

Wwx: what are you doing here interrupting my date with lwj. Are you done crying already?

Wq: i’ll make you cry

Wwx: pffft, yeah right

Wq: *goes and hits wwx in the back*

Wwx: *coughs up blood*

Yeahhh, i wouldn’t want to go toe-to-toe with wen qing unless she asked me to and then i would happily do whatever she wanted

Wwx: you’re so cruel! *swoons like some maiden*

Lwj: wei ying! *catches him all gallantly*

WWX YOU LITTLE FAKER, YOU JUST WANTED LWJ TO HOLD YOU

And we know this bc wen qing pulls out her Very Scary Medical Needles and wwx wisely RUNS AWAY even tho he was all “passed out” two seconds before

And after that fun bit, the show makes me sad about tea somehow. I don’t even like tea.

Wwx is all, wen ning, why are you serving our guest water?? How embarrassing, go get the tea!

And wen ning is all, but there’s no tea??

Then wwx is like, well we gotta get tea for next time we have guests

There’s a hella awkward pause

Wwx: that’s right, we won’t have any more guests…

THIS STUPID SHOW IS GIVING ME FEELINGS ABOUT TEA

MY ONE TEA OBSESSED FRIEND HAS BEEN TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL STUFF FOR TEA FOR YEARS WITH NO SUCCESS

AND THIS, LIKE, TWO MINUTE SCENE MADE ME SAD ABOUT TEA

Anyway.

We cut to the next scene which has wwx walking lwj out of the burial mounds and we’re getting another Serious Conversation

Wwx: lan zhan, you asked me if i intended to keep things the way they are now. Tbh, i also would like to know what else i could do besides this.

Wwx: give up my crafty tricks and turn over Plot Device 2? What happens to the Wens? Do i turn them in? I can’t do that.

Wwx: i believe if you were me, you wouldn’t be able to do that either

WHY IS HE SUCH A GOOD PERSON. WWX IS BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER CULTIVATORS PUT TOGETHER

Wwx: can anyone give me any better options? One where i can protect those i want to protect without using demonic cultivation?

He says this so passionately. HE JUST WANTS TO PROTECT PEOPLE. HE’S WILLING TO DO OTHER THINGS IF IT MEANS HE CAN STILL PROTECT PEOPLE BUT HE CAN’T!!! AND I AM DISTRESSED.

Lwj doesn’t say anything in response.

He knows wwx is right and there’s nothing he can do to make things better for him

Wwx: lan zhan, thank you for your company today. And thank you for telling me about my sister’s wedding

HE SAYS THIS WITHOUT LOOKING AT LWJ AND HE LOOKS LIKE EVERY WORD HIS HURTING HIM BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL WORDS HE’S USING TO SAY GOODBYE AND HE DOESN’T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO LWJ.

And before i can start crying, A-Yuan appears to make me feel better!!!

He’s latched onto lwj’s leg again (bc i mean, honestly, who wouldn’t??)

And he’s asking lwj to stay for dinner!!

Wwx: a-yuan come here. Lan zhan has his own food at home. He won’t be eating with us here.

A-yuan: but i heard a secret! I heard there was going to be lots of tasty food today!

Wwx scolds a-yuan for half a second before turning to look at lwj WITH THE MOST HOPEFUL EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE

HE WANTS LAN ZHAN TO STAY FOREVER FOR DINNER TOO

But for some unfathomable reason lwj looks at a-yuan and says that he is leaving.

WHY

YOU WANT TO STAY THERE TOO

WHY MUST YOU TWO MAKE THINGS SO DIFFICULT FOR ME YOURSELVES

Wwx gives this stiff, sharp nod like, yeah, of course of course, i knew that, this doesn’t kill me inside AT ALL

Lwj walks off and wwx + a-yuan make their way towards the burial mounds

A-yuan: will the rich man ever visit us again?

Wwx: what rich man?

A-yuan: the one from just now!

Wwx yoinks the toy butterfly from a-yuan’s hand here

Wwx: you really like him that much, don’t you?

And he holds the toy out of reach and teases him

A-yuan: give it back! He bought that for me

Wwx: no! I won’t give it back until you say i’m your favorite

And this entire adorable scene is being watched by lwj who is just a ways away 

I’d say he’s lurking like a creeper, but Hanguang-jun is too honorable and handsome to be called a creeper by anyone ever. 

BUT he is lurking. 

He looks all solemn

A-yuan tells wwx what he wants to hear and gets his toy back.

Unfortunately wwx’s distraction tactic didn’t work

A-yuan: so will the rich man come back or not?

Wwx: probably not

A-yuan: Why??

Wwx: there’s no reason why. In this world, everyone has their own paths to walk.

A-yuan: oooh

Lol, he nods like yeah, i totally understand what you’re telling me bc i’m a big kid who can know things. HOW CUTE!

AND HERE WE GET THAT QUOTE. THAT IMPORTANT ONE. THE ONE THAT IS LATER USED AS A PUBLIC LOVE CONFESSION.

Wwx: who needs the crowded, broad avenue? I’ll stick to my single-log bridge until it’s dark.

Lwj is still here, watching. And he hears wwx say this.

Lwj doesn’t turn to walk away for real until wwx and a-yuan are out of sight

HE WANTED TO SEE THEM FOR AS LONG AS HE COULD

I’M TOTALLY NOT TORN UP ABOUT THIS

I’M CHILL AND COLLECTED FOR REAL

Then we cut to wwx arriving back at the demon-subdue palace where there’s a surprise dinner party!! 

AND A-YUAN GETS SO ADORABLY EXCITED OVER THE ABUNDANCE OF FOOD, I LOVE IT SO MUCH i get excited about food too, a-yuan!!

This whole thing here is very sweet and this is when we really see wwx accept the wens as his family rather than as his moral obligation

As the @theuntamednarrator said, they gave him homemade liquor! That’s the one guaranteed way to our sunshine boy’s heart!!

It’s all super sweet, like i said, until wwx gets himself plastered. Then it takes a turn towards the Hella Depressing. 

I really want to skip over it because it really is HELLA DEPRESSING AND STILL MAKES ME LEGIT CRY ACTUAL TEARS EVERY TIME I WATCH IT 

but i can’t because it’s got some wangxiantics and this is a wangxiantics guide

So everyone at the dinner party drinks until they pass out, basically. 

Except for wen qing, who is completely sober, and wwx who is an alcoholic with an inhumanly high tolerance apparently

He’s all flushed and red-eyed tho

Wwx: wen qing, the first time i saw Lan Zhan was when i snuck Emperor’s Smile into the Cloud Recesses

He laughs here, remembering; it’s all cute here for a bit.

Wwx: it’s too bad you didn’t see his face, his stony face...but the emperor’s smile is really good. I wonder if i’ll ever get a chance to drink it again

And his entire demeanor changes here. He started out more or less cheerfully reminiscing about his first meeting with lwj but in that last bit his whole posture droops and he gets the saddest look on his face

Wen qing notices this, but is kind enough to pretend not to by focusing on wiping down that table.

Wwx: i’m a good for nothing

OH GOD

Wwx: i promised my sister i would help her hold the most splendid wedding in the world

FUCK, HERE COME MY TEARS

And wen qing fucking freezes here eVEN SHE KNOWS THIS IS GONNA HURT

Wwx: but now, i can’t even attend the wedding

Wwx: i’m completely useless, i am completely useless

SHIT, GOD DAMN IT, I DON’T FUCKING WANT TO CRY WHERE ARE THE GOD DAMN TISSUES 

Wwx: i am completely useless

HAVE MERCY, HAVE MERCY ON MY POOR HEART, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

So while i’m fucking sobbing out every ounce of moisture in my body, we cut to the cloud recesses and we see lwj kneeling in front of a set of closed doors

(we’re not going to dwell too long on that because i’m already in fucking shambles from two seconds ago and i can’t handle any more Family-Related Sadness right now)

He’s on his knees, with his arms outstretched holding two long, heavy bamboo sticks

There are disciples scurrying around and avoiding the scene, like oh shit, better not get in the middle of that

Lwj’s head is ever so slightly bowed, still as a statue, and completely blankfaced

And we get ~their song~ BUT WITH VOCALS THIS TIME

THE FIRST TIME WE HEAR THE VOCALS WITHIN THE SHOW

YOU KNOW

THE VOCALS THAT ARE SUNG BY THE ACTORS PLAYING OUR BELOVED LWJ AND WWX???

YEAH

THOSE VOCALS

BECAUSE I WASN’T FEELING ENOUGH INTENSE EMOTION YET

The scene starts off in the daylight and we see him enduring this punishment 

HOURS go by bc it’s dark and there’s a good inch of snow accumulated around him by the time some random lan cultivator dismisses him

Lwj gets up GRACEFULLY (bc that is his default mode, i guess?? HOW??) and there’s a literal patch on the ground completely devoid of snow bc that’s how long and still he kneeled there for, holy shit.

And he walks away calmly

There’s no more wangxiantics in this episode

But show-runners decided they didn’t want to COMPLETELY DESTROY OUR SOULS just yet so they give us an anticlimactic but kind of cute ending to the episode 

We get to see that there are “yiling patriarch disciples” who are actually frauds in terrible cosplay trying to sell mediocre talismans at high prices

and wwx is all “who the heck are these guys, wait, i don’t actually care”

We get to see that the wens are slowly starting to prosper in their little corner of the burial mounds

Also, somebody built a shrine and left food offerings at the entrance to the burial mounds?? Which, hey, wwx doesn’t say no to free food and neither do i because what kind of crazy person turns down free food??

And, i mean, that’s basically it?? Like i said super anticlimactic

SO WHO ELSE HERE IS SITTING IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS NOW? ANYBODY?? ANYBODY???? PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME CRYING BY MYSELF, THAT WOULD BE PATHETIC, I CAN’T HELP IT IF I HAVE A HEART FULL OF FEELINGS

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[trensu]

Episode 20: The One where WangXiantics becomes W(angst)Xiantics

So we start the episode on a high note by watching wc and jj suffer a mental breakdown

We won’t go into detail bc we don’t actually care about them

We are, however, gonna take the time to admire the cut of wwx’s silhouette as he stands on the rooftop playing his demon flute

For real tho, he’s killin it here (on a rooftop! did i mention that? bc all great scenes happen on rooftops)

Enshrouded in shadow with wisps of resentful energy flowing around his flute as he plays

And the only light on him frames just his eyes, emphasizing his cold focus as he rains terror on the two who hurt his family and destroyed his home

Chills...this is not a guy you want to cross

Okay Plot Stuff happens and wwx is gone by the time JC and LWJ show up at the scene of the crime

More plot stuff

Plot plot, wen qing and jc have a moment and there’s a comb, plot plot

Jc and lwj are hunting down wc and wen zhuliu 

Plot plot plot

They finally find them holed up somewhere, idk where, it doesn’t matter

Jc is about to rush in but lwj, being sensible, stops him and tells him they should observe first

So they sneak onto the roof and watch shit go down through a missing tile

Wc and wzl are there doing stuff that doesn’t matter

But then an ominous breeze picks up and we see black boots slowly start climbing a staircase leading to where wc and wzl are

This kind of echoes lwj’s scene in the last episode, which is GREAT

The steps are not hurried in any way. There’s no rush bc wc and wzl are right where he wants them to be

The “he’ here is revealed to be WWX!!! 

YOU LOOKIN FINEEEE IN THOSE ROBES WWX

(tbh, all of our boys are looking pretty dashing)

(@theuntamednarrator​ and i decided that lwj and jc were probs trying to one up each other in the fashion department bc they wanted to look ESPECIALLY handsome and heroic when they finally find wwx. And no, you cannot change our minds. This is definitely what happened.)

There’s some banter between wzl and wwx that doesn’t really matter except for this gem of a line that is just SO GREAT i can’t NOT include it

Wen zhuliu says something about repaying his debts to wen ruohan

Wwx: why do other people have to pay for your gratitude?

DAAAAAMN BOY

LOOK AT YOU DROPPING THE MIC

WWX whips out his flute and starts to play

Lwj sees all the resentful energy wwx is summoning and his eyes widen (by like, a lot) in shock

A pause here to mention that the lady in red that wwx summons is by far the COOLEST THING EVER (the special effects here are actually special for once lol)

i am very upset we didn’t get to see more of her. 

What the heck wwx, she’s so effective and awesome?? 

And she matches your color scheme perfectly???

And you choose never to summon her again????

What is the matter with you

Do it for the aesthetic if nothing else!

So lwj and jc are just chillin on the roof watching all this go down but then suddenly wen zhuliu attacks wwx and is about to land a hit on him

ofc that’s when lwj chooses to intervene

Our boy straight up punches through the roof so that he and jc land between wzl and wwx

We get to watch jc choke out wen zhuliu with his zidian which is pretty cool

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, once this happens, LWJ TURNS AROUND AND FACES WWX FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS

HE JUST GAZES AT HIM??? 

And jc goes in and has a brotherly reunion with wwx and it’s all sentimental

THE YUNMENG BRO HUG HERE, AHH, MY PRECIOUS YUNMENG BOYS

(Why didn't you return the hug properly wwx why)

The look on LWJ’s face at their reunion is so full of yearning!! 

HE WANTS TO HUG WEI YING TOO. HE’S MISSED HIM SO MUCH, HE NEEDS A HUG FROM WEI YING RIGHT NOW

Ofc that doesn’t happen, and actually after a moment, lwj looks away from the scene as if he realizes he’s intruding on an emotional moment

And here we get some fun Q&A time with wwx!! (and by fun, i mean frustrating and emotionally trying)

Jc: were you really thrown into the burial mounds??

Wwx: if i had been thrown in there, would i be here now? Nobody survives that place

WAY TO NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Jc: where did they take you? How’d you escape? Why do you look different??

Wwx: *pointedly does not answer the first two questions* have i really changed??

And then, to further distract from the other questions that he totally ignored...

Wwx: if i told you that i found a special book in a secret cave written by a genius recluse, and then studied it to become super powerful, would you believe me?

Ofc jc just rolls his eyes and starts scolding him which makes wwx grin

Wwx: see, you won’t believe me even if i told you. I’ll tell you more later when we get home

Jc looks at lwj here, who up until now had been silently watching them talk, and then turns his attention back to wwx

Jc: fine, we’ll talk later

THEY’RE PURPOSELY EXCLUDING LWJ AS THOUGH HE HASN’T SPENT THE LAST THREE MONTHS FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR WWX TOO, I'M SO UPSET

And here’s where it starts to get super heartbreaking bc this is when lan wangji decides to chime in

Lwj: Wei Ying

Wwx: Lan er-gongzi, or should i say Hanguang-jun

WWX IS ADDRESSING HIM FORMALLY AND I DON’T LIKE IT

SINCE WHEN DO YOU CALL HIM ANYTHING OTHER THAN LAN ZHAN???

LIKE, WWX EVEN DID A LITTLE RESPECTFUL BOW AND EVERYTHING

HE IS DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM LWJ

STOP THAT WWX, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

LWJ: were you the one that hunted all those wens?

Wwx: so what if i was?

Lwj: why did you give up the sword? Answer me.

Wwx: what if i refuse to answer?

AND HE SAYS THAT WITH A SMIRK, A COLD CURL OF HIS LIPS WHERE IT USED TO BE SO TEASING AND FLIRTY

SOMEONE STAB ME IN THE FACE

Lwj reaches out to grab him in response but wwx completely sidesteps him and even places his demon flute between them!!! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WWX: lan zhan (oh so NOW you want to call him by his name), we just reunited after so long and you’re interrogating me? That’s not very nice.

YOU’RE BEING MEAN ON PURPOSE WWX

STOP HURTING LWJ’S FEELINGS

Wwx: it’s been months since the Murder Turtle cave...even if you didn’t cherish our relationship as classmates, you shouldn’t be so mean

HE SAYS THIS WITH A MOCKING SMILE

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

HE’S NOT THE ONE BEING MEAN WWX

Lwj does not rise to the bait: Answer me.

Wwx: I did already and you didn’t believe me! I can’t explain so much in so few words

Lwj: Then come to Gusu with me and explain it there.

LWJ ASKS HIM TO COME HOME WITH HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME

IT WON’T BE THE LAST

AND IT HURTS EVERY TIME. 

IT DOESN’T GET BETTER

EVERY INVITATION IS SUPER PAINFUL

Wwx: Gusu? With the 3000 rules? No, i refuse! I prefer yunmeng

I HATE THIS

THIS IS ALL AWFUL

Like, wwx is all pouty when he says this? And before it would’ve been all teasing and cute but instead it’s all cold and mocking aND IT HURTS

Lwj: wei ying, don’t joke around

And he angrily steps towards wwx but jc blocks him with his sheathed sword

With jc between them, wwx asks him, “lan zhan, what do you really want?

HE WANTS TO TAKE YOU HOME AND KEEP YOU SAFE AND LOVE YOU FOREVER

THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS

HE JUST WANTS YOU WITH HIM

GOD DAMN IT

But lwj is bad with words so instead of saying ANY of that he goes

Lwj: wei ying, there will be a price for learning wicked tricks; there’s been no exception in all of history. They will harm your body and mind.

HE’S SO WORRIED FOR WWX

STOP DANCING AROUND THE TOPIC LWJ AND JUST SAY YOU'RE WORRIED

Wwx: i didn’t snatch any souls for my tricks so they’re not wicked. I use talismans and play music, how is that wicked?

WWX YOU’RE COMPLETELY MISSING THE POINT

Wwx: and even if they were wicked tricks, i know myself and my limits

AND HE’S SAYING ALL THIS WITH HIS BACK TURNED TO LWJ

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

Wwx: as for my temperament...i’m in charge of my own mind and i know what i’m doing

Lwj: there are some things you can’t decide on your own!

Lwj is so so worried, he’s snapping at wwx here. It comes off as angry but it’s not anger, he’s scared for wei ying, he’s distressed!!

Now wwx finally walks back to lwj and faces him head on

Oh man, the way they shoot this scene is intense

They only let you see half of wwx’s face bc the other half is obscured by lwj

Wwx: how do others know my temperament? And why should it be their concern?

Just...those words paired with how we can’t see wwx straight on...it hits you in the gut

bc what he really means is “what do you know about me, outsider?”

Lwj: Wei Wuxian (he snaps at him!!)

NOOO DON’T CALL HIM THAT!! DON'T SAY WUXIAN!! YOU ALWAYS CALL HIM WEI YING!!!

Wwx: Lan Wangji (he replies coolly)

STOP ADDRESSING EACH OTHER SO FORMALLY WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

Wwx: why do you oppose me now? Who do you think you are? What does the lan clan think they are? That you believed i wouldn’t protest?

STAAAAHP

HE’S YOUR SOULMATE!! THAT’S WHAT HE IS!!!

HE LOVES YOU!!! HE WANTS YOU SAFE!!!

And here wen chao regains consciousness (oh yeah, wen zhuliu is def dead but wc was just knocked out until now…)

Oh shit wwx just kicked wc as he starts begging for his life

That was cold. I mean, wc definitely deserved it but wwx is not normally this cruel

WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT LWJ, WWX JUST KICKS HIM OUT

Wwx: this is a domestic affair of the jiang clan of yunmeng. Please leave it to us

Lwj looks at him for just a moment before lowering his gaze and walking out solemnly

WHYYYYYY

STOP BEING MEAN TO EACH OTHER

Oh god, and the expression on wwx’s face after lwj’s gone??

HE LOOKS SO TIRED AND DEFEATED

Like it was taking every ounce of effort to maintain that cold distance from lwj this whole time

And to make it MORE heartbreaking--

When the camera zooms in on wwx’s face as he watches lwj leave (again with that empty, defeated expression) we hear wc in the background begging “forgive me, forgive me”

!!!!!!!!

That begging superimposed over wwx’s expression??

IT’S ALMOST LIKE WEI YING HIMSELF IS ASKING LWJ TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE’S DOING RIGHT NOW

Idk if the showrunners did that on purpose BUT OW, MY HEART, MY HEART, IT HURTS

And now I’M SOBBING

LWJ is at the gates of wherever it is they found wc, and he stops in his tracks when he hears wc scream

Then he’s just remembering the words wwx said to him

Lan wangji why are you at odds with me now

Who do you think you are

What do you lan clan think you are?

AND HE JUST LOOKS HEARTBROKEN

EVERYTHING HURTS SO MUCH

Then we cut to lotus pier and watch wwx and jc pay their respects to jfm and m-yu

Wwx: you asked me to take good care of jc and jyl, and i did. Rest in peace now.

*UGLY CRYING* JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART WITH A RUSTY KNIFE

IT WOULD HURT LESS

that’s all the wangxiantics for this episode so only one question remains:

WILL I EVER EXPERIENCE JOY AGAIN???

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