#he's literally giving dilf clark all over again

[feelsforsterek]

TYLER HOECHLIN as Derek Hale ↳ in TEEN WOLF: THE MOVIE (2023)

[dairy-farmer]

If you like, (as I saw you indeed do, from an ask) De-ageing promts/asks? Consider THIS~!

Everyone always hitting our poor baby boy Tim with that De-Ageing! As though his puss ain't tight and assets perky! Rude! You know who SHOULD be hit?

>:Dc Bruce~

Because him and Ra's are once again going at it. Bruce is not blind and DOES NOT appreciate this man panting after his Son. Is he a hypocrite? Maybe. But he's still gonna punch Ra's about kicking his boy out a window and the various bits of leering.

They do the Traditional by now, Dramatic Heroic/Immortal Sword Fight near the pits.

Ra's makes A Comment(tm). Of what he'll do when Bruce is dead. Since Bruce has failed to join him, Talia failed to give him a Worthy Heir, and Tim proven... Interesting(tm).

Can't do SHIT without limbs, Ra's. Bruce sees red and tries to feed the fucker his own entrails. Very calm. Toooootally thinking clearly.

It was, rather predictably, a trap. But Bruce is a talented man. So now they're BOTH stabbed pretty badly. Very homo-erotic, which is also traditional. Because with Ra's of course it is. Regardless, Ra's has NOT survived this long just to die to Daddy "don't fuck my son".

Into the pits we both go!

Which? Honestly, he's been trying for YEARS to get Bruce to use. So he can see reason. Ra's can admit the irony.

They struggle. Are drowning. Healing. Still impaled. Break free of each other, even as they try to grapple each other into submission. Again, the homo-eroticism is thick enough to choke lesser men. All the while? The pits are healing.

The wounds, yes. But also everything ELSE. They ARE submerged after all. Ra's? Expects this. Bruce? No idea what's coming.

He drags Ra's blade free of his body and breaks surface. Pit furious and seeing green. Damn near baby faced, at JUST under 20.

Turns out taking care of your body means there's less to "Fix". Self destructive Missions come back to bite him once again. But? Shit. Ninjas. Pouring in to help a fresh faced Ra's. Late 20s and in his prime once more. Damn it!

This isn't over, he growls.

Does NOT like the amused way Ra's is smirking.

One fight out and a stolen jet later? Bruce gets to stare in horror at his Twink-ification. Half his sons are physically OLDER then him. There is no way in hell he can hide this with make up. Luckily, it's Gotham.

He stages a kidnapping of himself. "Unknown chemical agent" combined with the INFAMOUS Gotham bay water. Clark, pretending to be him (once he's done laughing) goes in, Twink Bruce comes out.

People believe it.

Brucie Wayne is too dumb to make this up, after all. And stranger things have happened. Once cleared by the hospital? He heads home.

Now what.

He LIKED his Dilf status. His "silver fox in the making". He didn't have to "date". Booze it up or party. He was FREE damn it. He sulks. Jason and Dick are laughing at him.

Tim let's him hide in his office. Starts crafting "new lease on life" PR campaigns. They are, unfortunately, going to have to attend a Fad Pilates-Yoga-Samba Fusion Dance class. He's so sorry.

It's awful.

What's WORSE?

Is he forgot how HORNY he was at this age. It Does. NOT. Stop. Just an endless stream of wanting to thrust and fuck and lick and suck and-. It literally keeps him up at night! Even after patrol! And Selina? She won't touch him with a ten foot pole.

He's "an infant".

Call her when he's fixed.

He ALMOST considers some of the girls in his god awful class. But then they open their mouths and say some of the most soulless, casually cruel, things he's ever heard. And THAT reminds him he has standards.

He manages to find NICE ones, but then THEN start talking? And good lord, they are BABIES. Where are their fathers and why have they failed these wonderful young ladies? Have a college fund. Bruce is your father now.

And STILL horny.

Possibly in hell.

He tells this, even though he probably shouldn't, to Tim. Rants really. Because Tim let him hide again. Brought him coffee and dinner. And? Frankly? TIM is reasonable! Bruce wouldn't BE in this situation if he could find even a SINGLE woman like him!

And Tim watches Bruce pace. Muscles rolling as he walks. Still in work out gear. Young, nearly his age, so hot Tim wants to choke himself on his... Well. Tim COULD point out the obvious. Fleshlights. Modern toys that Bruce could no doubt improve.

OR~ Tim could shoot his shot and go for glory.

......fuck it.

Witness Him.

Tim deliberately splays his legs. Sprawls, open and inviting. And muses, not looking at Bruce of course, if Bruce needs a Woman or just the right hole?

Bruce freezes. Because of course not. He's Bi AF, just REALLY want to fuck a... wait. Wait(tm). Bruce's brain starts punching out Options. Why Would Tim Ask That? He looks at Tim. His body language. Considers if he wants to ignore it or take this clear offer.

He's across the room and plucking the tablet from Tim's hands in a handful of strides. Naked. Now.

Young Bruce is the HORNIEST, NEEDIEST fuck you can imagine. Once you let him in? It's all over. You're gonna wake up to that morning wood pounding your puss. Spend breakfast, being his desert. As he eats you out. Humping your leg like a dog in heat. Gotta go to work? Well not before his good by fuckies! Needs to shoot his load nice and deep, so you know he loves you.

Visit you at the office. Finger fuck you at your desk. Worship your clit like he's trying to win a medal. When you finally can't concentrate any more? Pull you from your office chair and fuck you til you're a sloppy mess on the floor. Don't worry! He brought a plug so you won't mess the change of clothes he brought you! See you at lunch~!

And on and on and on. Because Bruce is physically in the horniest phase of his life, has his FULL Batman stamina, and? Realized almost IMMEDIATELY? Tim cuddles when he's well fucked and exhausted. And Bruce misses him.

So Bruce is gonna take advantage of the situation.

Can't drift away from me and go off to join some random hero team, if I'm the Best Dick Of Your Life. If your body craves me. You get so used to my constant fuckings, your day is incomplete without them~

Use my WORDS? Pshhhhh. No. I'm just going to use a seventy step plan to permanently tie Tim to me for life with my dick! Because I love him! This is a reasonable and well adjusted way for me to act, I'm gonna get such a good grade in Dad. Now if you'll excuse Bruce, he's gonna go fuck his son.

-🐼🐼🐼

!!! oh my god bruce getting deaged would be his worst nightmare ever- having to join 'new age' spritual things like something-yoga or eating some trendy new food because it aligns with his 'brucie' character- add that in to him not being able to fuck within any age group. his new '20 year old peers' are so incredibly immature and he can't fathom breaking his morality enough to fuck them and the older ones wont let him near them because THEY feel like creeps. so tim being the only logical choice left and bruce also being able to kill two birds with one stone by being able to 1. get off and 2. make sure tim stays close to him😭😭😭

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Seeing Faster Pussycat/LA Guns/Tom Keifer Band in concert:

if you follow me on insta you know a LOT happened last night xD this is going to be a VERY long post I can just feel it. I gotta try and sort out my copious thoughts mixed in with all the events so we're gonna TRY doing this in chronological order:

*deep breath*

when I first got there 5 hours before showtime, I went inside to use the bathroom. Now this venue is relatively small, and they have a small restaurant upstairs (those are the bathrooms you have to use prior to doors). I went upstairs and I heard Tom soundchecking from there :o he was playing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) and it was making the room shake it was the greatest piss of my life

I was the 4th person in the general admission line and I was with these two guys, one of whom had a RAD hysteria tat and said I have Joe's (pyromania) haircut

this guy offered me free beer

one of these three people in front of me ended up being my "concert friend" (I'll refer to her as Robin) bc we talked so much and she's old enough to be my mom

Robin and the other two guys in front of me had VIP packages to see LA Guns' soundcheck so they left and I was first in line until only Robin came back

Slim Tender actually passed in front of us in line hours before doors opened but none of us really realized it was him

I got my photo pass and got in like 10 minutes before everyone else!! I ended up being front row at the barrier to stage left

Faster Pussycat's rhythm guitarist (Ronnie Simmons) gave me big Steve Clark vibes bc he's a skinny white boy with long hair who looked shy, did air split jumps while playing, and just in general felt Steve-y

Sam Bam is incredible and adorable just saying and FP sounded awesome like Taime sounds exactly the same as he did 30 years ago

They stole the fucking show I swear to god the night peaked with them imo

Phil was wearing a mesh tank top with a bandana and feathered hat he looked like a granddad trying too hard to be a pirate and the curly ass mustache didn't help

Phil looks like his 80s self is pretending to be old

Due to personal reasons I am now in love with Phil Lewis

he was dancing like a total dork it drove me insane I couldn't get enough

His speaking voice is so high???

Phil grabbed his left tiddy like twice during their set

guys I SWEAR I saw a tramp stamp on him with my own two eyes I SWEAR I saw it you gotta believe me

Phil pointing at my camera during the first fucking song and me not getting the shot ;-;

Phil replacing random lyrics with the words "Tracii Guns" (i.e. "nowww Tracii's breaking hearts in heaven")

Phil giving a speech about Tracii during Jayne and saying how he's been his best friend for over 30 years and how "no man has ever touched me like he has-"

Tracii: *pokes Phil's shoulder* C:

Phil: "-and I LIKED it"

Tracii: *pokes Phil's boob* C:

Ace apparently pulled his groin early in their set (I was on Tracii's side so I didn't see- I will elaborate more on this later)

since I was on the side of the stage with the exit, that meant the drinks were there too, so every time Tracii went into a solo, Phil would come over and would almost always interact with me and the teenage girls next to me

at one point I took advantage of this and I blew a kiss at him when he was in front of me, to which he went :O and slapped his cheek to show he "caught" it and I went fuckin ballistic

at the end of their set Phil grabbed one of Tracii's picks and crouched down in front of me and threw it to me (I CAUGHT IT)

was anyone going to tell me Tracii Guns is a dilf or-

I literally thought Johnny Martin was a woman the whole time- like I KNEW it had to be him but I was seriously second guessing myself because he just- he was in glasses and a scarf and a hat and he haS A VERY FEMININE BUILD

Phil saying he's happy to be "on top of this beautiful mountain again" (the venue is on top of a mountain) and it's so weird bc like ? this is just where I live? and he likes it? HE likes it??

apparently Phil complemented a girl on her tits during the show (she was showing a lot on purpose and bouncing a lot and he just kinda motioned bouncing tits with his hands and nodded- I'M TOLD- I didn't actually see any of this. Robin told me afterwards)

LA Guns stole the show I stg I had no idea how Tom was gonna top that it was the peak of my night

Tom was ethereal just saying he sounds T H E E. S A M E. HAS HE DID ON NIGHT SONGS.

Tom's knee high boots and tight pants hell yeah

Tom wasn't really playing with the crowd that much but he did slightly acknowledge me during Shelter Me by just kinda looking at me and singing

He played much more Cinderella than I expected I was LIVING

Tom saying we (him and the crowd) are basically related bc we're all from PA. So from this point onward I am related to Tom Keifer I didn't make these rules he said it himself

Tom during Nobody's Fool going "I SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM- *falls to his knees*" a capella, letting his voice absolutely shudder the whole building, and holding it forever and everyone going nuts what a fucking god

Tom betting we knew every word to Nobody's Fool which we DID

his playing just seems so smooth????

his wife Savannah being on backing vocals and them doing Don't Know What You Got (Til It's Gone) together was really cute ;-;

Before they did that Tom told us to "show him some Pennsylvania stars" (aka put our lights on during the song)

the stars actually coming out in the sky after the show ;-; <3

they did Long Cold Winter as an encore and I was dissociating thee whole fucking time so badly because I was THAT exhausted- like I didn't even recognize the song until the very end I was that out of it. I didn't have anything to drink- alcohol or not.

someone was holding a very good drawing they did of him and his wife the whole time and at the end of the set one of the roadies took it from her and brought it back, and came out a minute later asking if she wanted it back, to which she said they could keep it. SO yeah Tom and Savannah kept a fan's drawing of them ;-; <3

Tom's hair is still godly

I also never knew he has a nice butt 👌 and legs

When Tom was recording the video of the crowd he put on his insta he was like "hold on I gotta I make sure I recorded bc the other night I fucked it up and didn't get it..."

"...I GOT IT" *audience cheers bc yay Tom knows how to use a phone good for u honey we're proud*

Okay that's JUST from the show. Now here's where it gets crazy.