#he's so internet boyfriend

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[arson-09]

i HATE the term shadow daddy. If a character is referred to as “shadow daddy” by someone you know its gonna be the most uninteresting, bland and probably shitty male character to ever exist. Bro does the bare minimum and everyone falls to their feet. Shadow daddy isnt a compliment its a warning to everyone else

[eorzea80]

"So..."

"Yeah..."

"Aether cannons?"

"At least two."

"And we're insulating with wood?"

"Indeed."

"'Raha, is this going to work?"

"If the Crystal Exarch and the Warrior of Darkness...Light? What exactly are you going by these days?"

"Hmm...I think I'm going by 'Chief of Staff.'"

G'raha chuckles and nudges Pryne with his shoulder, eliciting a slight smile.

"Alright then. If it's us, it will work. It has to."

Electricity hums in the heavy air.

"'Raha? I'm really glad you're here."

"...and I am glad to be here. I was too long in coming."

"It's ok." Pryne pinches her cheeks and reaches for a pencil. "Let's get to schematics. Do you have an idea of the weight for the aether crystal mounts?"

"Of course."

[drag0nalias0]

Finally about to watch Nimona!!!!!

[limitedorange]

I want to reach into his chest and hold his heart.

I don't want to squeeze it or eat it, I'd like to admire it and treat it with care.

I want to nurture him. I want to love him, gently. I want to learn every part of his beautiful soul.

His soul, to me, looks like an ocean. Like a beach, he feels as comforting as the sand, he's as pretty as the sea shells, to lay in his arms is to lay in the peaceful waves of the ocean.

If he were a color I think he would be blue. I was thinking a lot and he's blue, I love blue now. It's my 3rd favorite color. Purple, orange, and blue, those are my 3 favorite colors.

He reminds me of all these colors in some way. He reminds me of everything in some way, shape, or form. He's perfection. He's angelic. He's mine <3

I love him. I love him so much.

IM OBSESSED WITH YOU BABY!!! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU!!!

You remind me of honey in some sort of way, just the way you act reminds me of honey.

@gavinluvzbugs 🫶🏻😻💞💖😽

[stars-inthe-sky]

So, hey. How did you and your family celebrate Passover when you were a kid? How about now?

My Rhode Island aunt and uncle almost always hosted a big family Seder, and it was the absolute best. A good Seder is educational, food-filled, and legit fun—it's a ritual meal that includes storytelling, singing, prayers, and a general focus on including and teaching everyone involved, regardless of age or even whether attendees are Jewish. (If ever you're invited to a friend's Seder, go! Do not bring a challah, which my actually-bar-mitzvahed brother-in-law did once as an attempt at a thoughtful host gift. We still make fun of him.)

And my uncle (the same one who officiated at my wedding, and the wedding of my other sister) may well be the greatest host/leader there is; over the years he compiled from a medley of sources what added up to his own Haggadah (basically the guidebook to the Seder—there are a million published and informal versions working off the same template, with readings and activities and interpretations that can go kid-centric or feminist or traditional or whatever). It was always just insanely fun, and warm, and joyous, with incredible food and an increasing array of baked-in, just-us traditions.

Since I went to college basically down the street from their house, and then lived just an hour away in Boston for so long, that was pretty much the heart of my and my family's celebration most years—right up until Passover 2020, at which point the pandemic negated what had been plans to travel from our new home in Illinois for it, and they also downsized and had their own kids scatter geographically and gain very little ones, so that particular tradition is at best on hiatus now.

But there are fun Seders everywhere—well, the Zoom ones of the pandemic years were a mixed bag, but we've found friends who've make a good go of it, over the years, too, if not quite as an elaborately planned out hourslong celebration as my uncle would do. When I studied abroad in Denmark, Boyfriend and I went to an Orthodox Seder that was in a mix of Danish and Hebrew, for instance—that was novel, and so much of the procedure and the Hebrew was familiar enough to follow along.

Still working on exactly where we'll be for those two nights this year (we haven't really met any Jewish families in Pittsburgh yet to garner an invite, and none of the Reform or Conservative synagogues seem to have community events, which is surprising? And I don't really want to go to Chabad?) but we'll figure something out.

That said, as fun as the Seders can and should be, the rest of Passover is a slog of not eating bread or adjacent products, and experiencing whatever it is matzah does to one's digestive system over the course of a week. It's a meaningful observance, and the fact that the relevant rabbinical boards have stopped including rice and legumes in the "no" column in recent years has been great, but...it's ultimately a holiday recalling the story of the Exodus, and how we were slaves once, so, like, there are some less-fun elements. But the freedom celebration parts usually outweigh that!

[anonymous-tals]

Making better memories at the beach.

[woweeitsnekogal1]

I just had my first true internet experience. I was looking through someone’s blog and I saw they had reblogged a photo and I was like oh that’s a funny lil meme I love those mean girls memes where they replace the text-

Wait a fucking minute. I made that, I made that last year for a post by @wellwaterhysteria that read “hairy men. large hairy men. big big large hairy men. agree.” And now someone has STOLEN it from me. I spent much longer than I should’ve in photoshop making this just for it to be sTOLEN. Wow. Really makes you think 😞

[anadrenalineslut]

idk who needs to hear this but dont let the internet convince you real love needs you to constantly be Doing Things and Spending Money. That's capitalism talking again.

[aintgonnatakethis]

So early this morning I'm woken by my mum saying she's calling an ambulance for my gran. She had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic she was taking for a UTI. She's stable now and had brightened considerably since they started hanging hydrating IV bags!

But if I'm a little slow to get through the WIP game asks, that's the reason, I'm not ignoring anyone. And if you sent me an ask and made your own post with your WIPs and I haven't sent an ask to you PLEASE give me a little nudge in DMs as I've tried to find everyone and I swear the website's been working against me. It's important for the, idk the word, the culture? of this place that you send an ask to the person you get it from and asks to anyone who sends you an ask about yours. We're all in this together! *shakes fist*

[eddiexmunsn]

best friend eddie pretending to be your boyfriend so some guy will leave you alone except eddie loves you so the kiss you two share in front of the guy to seal the deal feels a little too real 👀🤭

[glowinglights]

Some dude spammed my instagram post of me with Arryn with a bunch of hashtags about her and that dude. And man I got so heated, I can’t remember the last time I told someone on the internet to fuck off

I said at least Arryn Zech’s hairline isn’t fucked up. And I told him to talk to me when his facial hair isn’t patchy. Anyways, super heated lmao

[akaikami-cherryblossom]

Decided to rewatch Disney Voice Stars 2019 and was plagued with an Image

[thatfunkylittlejesterdude]

It's wimblin' time.

Why the fuck did I decide Hank would be the best character to test paint markers on I've never used them for full pieces like this I've only ever used gold paint markers for backgrounds and accents hhhhhh-

You should totally reblog this that would be so cool guys

[allysartblog]

[bombshellsandbluebells]

me: oh man it’s late I should go take out my contacts and get ready for bed

me: leaves room with the intention of going to the bathroom. enters kitchen. sees chips. fails to have any self control and eats chips at 2 in the morning

brain: ok great, mission accomplished. go back to your room

me: goes back to scrolling on tumblr

me, 10 minutes later: ....wait a minute

truly it’s amazing it took me 26 years to figure out I might have ADHD