#he's such a rabid dog

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

wintersberg is funny to me

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton rating his FNAF animatronics,,

[christadeguchi]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

[jesuistrestriste]

Calling Art ‘Artemis’ in public while out with a group of friends and he gets hard IMMEDIATELY. desperately trying to his it from the other while he whimpers from the lack of friction..

i’m literally losing it my god #ovulating (also sorry for spamming your asks all the time)

venus real as fuck.

like you’re out with art and a handful of other tennis players at some catered banquet, gathered around a table and conversing casually. neither of you really know these individuals; it’s all small-talk, and polite smiles, and laughing at the right times.

you’re sat right next to the blonde, and he’s engaged in what-seems-to-be an interesting conversation. your knee knocks his, but it doesn’t do much except make his breath catch subtly for a moment. and then he’s back to talking.

you talk with some others at the table, and then a hostess arrives with an anticipatory smile and opens her notepad. “what can i get for everyone?”

the others order, going around the circle, and then it gets to you before it gets to art.

you hum, looking over the menu of different expensive wines and luxurious dishes, and you sigh. your eyes pour over the options. your knee bumps art’s again, and he jolts slightly in his seat.

“what are you thinking, Artemis?”

everyone at the table looks to the man next to you, completely confused. artemis? no, that’s art. what’s going on?

but art knows what’s going on. he looks to you, a whine bubbling up in his throat that he has to swallow down as his cheeks tint a bright red up to his ears. his real, full name was something you were only supposed to use against him in the bedroom.

not in public. not here.

and because the only other times he’s heard it come out of your mouth have been when you were praising him or telling him he had permission to come, his cock starts to involuntarily swell in his dress pants.

he shakes his head and clears his throat as he tries to push down the nervousness and arousal that he assumes is as clear as day on his face.

“i— i don’t know yet, im still deciding,” he says to you, an embarrassed chuckle spilling forth.

you smile at him softly, innocently, and nod.

now his knee is pushing against yours under the tabletop, harder than you had tapped his minutes prior, and you know he’s silently begging for you to do something.

he shifts in his seat, basically writhing, and his breathing falters. the person sitting on the opposite side of him gives him a funny look like ‘this dude has ants in his fuckin’ pants’, but they remain oblivious to the pulsing boner art has fully popped in his clothing. poor guy.

Artemis, Artemis, Artemis.

it rings through his skull, in your voice, as he sits there and waits for you to order so that he can do the same. he wants this whole fiasco to be over so that he can excuse himself, stand up from his chair, cover the tent in the front of his pants, and wobble his way to the public bathrooms to take care of himself.

he’d curse you out if he could, but he’s too busy squirming in his seat against the hot pleasure starting to bubble in his lower abdomen. no, it’s boiling now. his shaft rubs against the inside of his boxers in the wrong way, and the smallest of noises leaves his lips.

you’re evil.

[hazeltongzhi]

Ive been saying this for months now but the closer we draw to usamerican national election day, the more and more clear its becoming that biden is just a worse blue hindenburg.

He's not even a social democrat, the moderate wing of fascism, he's just fascism

[strategicjazzhands]

[watchingwisteria]

aziraphale, the one who gave the first human exiles his flaming sword as both a source of protection and warmth, who did not look on them as sinners deserving of destruction but people entitled to the best chances possible, has never once looked at crowley, a heavenly exile, with anything other than compassion and a desire to protect. from their first meeting, he never wanted anything bad to happen to him. when crowley slithers up to him in eden, he treats him like an equal rather than an adversary. when crowley appears, his eyes fill with love and excitement, his gaze turns soft and hesitant, his whole body seizes with joy of seeing him. crowley might typically the one to seek him out, but aziraphale has always welcomed him home.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

caterpillar? more like cu. more like cunty. cuntypil. um.

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai surprising you on your day off ~

Dazai's not by any means an early riser... That is unless he gets to see you that day.

It's 8 AM and he's tapping his fingers against his pant leg lightly, but he's actually really anxious and impatient. He’s waiting for you to open the front door and flash him that life changing smile of yours he’s been coveting for all week. Today’s your day off and he's decided to come over and spend the day with you so he can cherish every single moment, totally not because he’s slacking off work and wants to do the only other thing he does with his life other than avoid his responsibilities: Be the bane of your existence. You also have a nasty little habit of being a workaholic and he's here to break that once and for all. He's completely spaced out now, lips pursed and brows slightly furrowed in thought when suddenly-

You finally open the door. His angel, his everything. He immediately switches his whole demeanor, eyes twinkling as he scans your figure. You’re still in pajamas, and your hair looks messy. You look absolutely delectable for someone who just woke up to 3 missed calls and 10 texts. Dazai smirks as he leans in, wiggling his brows in an exaggerated manner.

"Well look who’s finally awake! What a sleepy little thing you are. Makes me jealous of that stupid bed of yours… Did you get my texts? Come here"

He looms over you in the middle of the doorway, kissing you softly, tenderly and hungrily.

You blink, and before you can catch your bearings you’re interrupted by the softness of his eager lips. If your mouth opens, he’s pouncing. After a few moments of uninterrupted bliss, you pull back, eyes still drowsy and breathing a bit shallow. You yawn, running your fingers through your bedhead.

“Sorry. I, um… was still asleep until now. I was trying to sleep in-”

He gasps, and tilts his head, as if baffled by this.

“Now why would you do that when we have plans today?”

“... We don’t, though?”

Dazai laughs, dismissing your rightful confusion. He knows you guys never discussed plans, he just doesn't care. He lightly pinches your nose in between his fingers.

“We do! It’s why I let you sleep in for a few extra hours before coming over.”

You lazily swat at him, crinkling your nose. He’s swooning! Dazai feels a jolt of electricity through his body upon seeing the way you respond to his doting. Making you flustered is his favorite entertainment, besides suicide of course.

“But it’s 8 AM.”

“Exactly! That’s like half the day."

"... How long have you been up for?”

He rolls his eyes affectionately as he buffs his knuckles on his tan coat, replying with a nonchalant hum.

“Hmm, not important— What’s for breakfast?”

He lets himself into your apartment and you sigh into a defeated smile that somehow still holds affection for this ridiculous man. You follow him as he strides to the kitchen and fold your arms across your chest.

“You know, I’m kinda grumpy right now. It’s too early, Osamu. I need my sleep."

“And might I say you look absolutely stunning when you’re grumpy? How ever did I get this lucky…”

“Keep it up and I’ll get even worse, you goofball.”

Dazai smiles, it’s sly and dangerous. A challenge, he hears? He pretends to think for a moment, his finger placed on his lips as if really contemplating something. He’s just picturing what you’d look like yelling at him. Heavenly, of course. He flashes you a tender smile as if you just said the most romantic thing and curls his arm around your waist, whispering.

“Ooh, then I can’t wait to see worse.~”

You roll your eyes, unable to help the pink hue spreading over your face. Maybe you're still half asleep, maybe you’re just hopelessly in love with him. Either way you’re screwed. You whine with a hint of annoyance.

“Osamuuuu…”

Oh how he loves when you say his name like that. Maybe it’s time for you two to skip breakfast, he already does anyway, but he knows you actually need nutrients to function. He replies in a singsong voice.

“Yeeesss?”

“I’m making pancakes and you are going to sit down and wait.”

You point at the kitchen counter trying to be stern, and of course, failing miserably.

He looks back at the stool and then back at you. He leans within inches of your face, his nose poking yours. He clicks his tongue disapprovingly and winks.

“No can do, cutie~”

You two spend the morning making breakfast, or at least trying to. YOU are trying to, anyway. Everytime you go to gather ingredients, he’s already handing them to you. When your back is turned to him, you feel his arms snaking around you as you flip pancakes unevenly due to the distracting trail of kisses he's leaving down your neck. You secretly smile to yourself whenever you’re not feigning irritation, you know he loves the banter… Why not indulge the poor man?

You serve two plates and sit down, along with two mugs of coffee. Dazai isn’t allowed to have caffeine around you, but once again, you took pity on him today for some reason… or is it his mystifying persuasion manipulation at play here? He takes a sip of his mug and a satisfying ‘Ahh’ releases soon after. He flickers his eyes towards you as you're about to sip yours as well, and it’s like the world stops. His pupils dilate and he watches intently as the rim reaches your lips, resting his chin on his palm as he leans lazily over the counter. He’s like a dog watching its owner adoringly. During his trance-like state, he thinks about how if you lived together this would be his every day routine. He could get used to watching you drink coffee and eat food. You'd wake up next to each other and hold hands as you watch the sun rise. He would tell you how breathtaking you look with bedhead and make you late for work after failing to keep his hands to himself. Maybe then you wouldn't think he's such an impenetrable wall of secrets. He wonders if there's a future where all of that happens... He snaps out of it, and murmurs.

“Can I have a taste?”

You perk up and look over, tilting your head to the side, amused.

“What, the coffee? You have your own.”

He’s so focused now, staring at your full lips, thinking of a proper answer. He wants to tell you that he's never had intimate moments like these with anyone else and he doesn’t know how long it’ll last before his luck with you runs out, that he’s afraid you’ll see right through his one dimensional facade and leave him for good. That you won’t follow him to his untimely demise should he ever fall, so he has to capture every second of it so he can keep you in his mind forever. He has to lock you up in his heart and throw away the key, otherwise becoming a man of virtue loses all its meaning.

Instead, he opts for the less complicated route, the corners of his lips curling up into a coy smile as he places a gentle hand on your thigh.

“No, your lips, dummy. I want to taste the coffee off of your lips.”

There are no words for the audacity of Osamu Dazai and the feelings thrashing inside you when he says things like that. You smile bashfully and look away, unable to accept his shameless flirting.

“You’re so weird, Osamu…”

“Mm, I'm so yours. No takesies backsies.~"

You slowly meet his gaze, his watchful eyes that ooze devotion practically holding yours hostage… God, you are so beautiful to him. Before you can even register it, Dazai scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the living room, laying you down on the soft couch. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his fingers tracing the outline of your lips. As soon as you show him the look of love that gives him the consent he’s looking for, he doesn’t think twice about it. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a messy kiss. He kisses you rough, his tongue almost immediately sliding into your mouth as he moans into you. His moans turn into whimpers, like he's been starved of touch for far too long and you're satiating the hunger. He needs to taste the coffee you just drank, and he wants you to know exactly how much he's been aching for this moment. For your much needed day off. For you.

He keeps his hand at your chin, pressing you down deeper into the couch with his hips grinding against yours as he tastes the acidity of the coffee along with the honey you sweetened it with.

Finally, when you literally cannot breathe, you pull away with your dazed and blissed out expression, all red in the face just like he loves. You mumble in between pants.

“Wait— So... What exactly was the plan for today?”

He looks up from running his tongue along your jawline and flashes you that infamously deceptive smile he perpetually keeps on his face, tapping his index finger on your cheek. His voice comes out in a breathy whisper.

“Breakfast.”

“.. But we already had breakfast.”

He sighs deeply and his finger ghosts its way from your cheek down to the waistband of your pajama bottoms as he needily mumbles in your ear.

“Still hungry.. I’m a growing boy, you know.~”

You let out a breathless laugh, shaking your head.

"You're going to tire me, Osamu.. Work wears me out enough as is-"

He wiggles a finger at you, face full of sickening desire as he carefully lowers his head down by your stomach, resting his cheek on your soft flesh. He murmurs in that soft pleading way that drives you insane when he combos it with his reverent touch.

"Listen to me, please. No more work talk... No more stressing out your pretty self, okay? I haaaaate demanding jobs. It only takes you away from me."

You look down and simply nod, your eyes trained on the way he looks at you from under his lashes and the soft brown hair that frames his face. Your heart races with anticipation as a smile slowly creeps up onto your lips. You don't need words for what comes next.

For the rest of the day, he makes sure you have the best time off, it's the least he can do as your incredibly attentive and not selfish at all boyfriend! A day where you can shut out all thoughts of work... along with literally anything else that doesn't relate to him.

Unfortunately for you, there is no resting involved on said day. Fortunately for Dazai, you look so cute as you writhe under him for hours on end. That'll get it through your pretty little skull not to work so much.

[skitskatdacat63]

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS??????

I am staring intently

[vampiyahs]

can he come over and stare at you like this

[moistvonlipwig]

some of the most harrowing moments in breaking bad are the moments when hank dehumanizes dead people just because they're drug dealers/manufacturers/users only for walt, who often killed those people in the first place, to clearly feel viscerally uncomfortable with that dehumanization. i'm thinking especially about hank playing gale's tape of him singing and dancing for walt and flynn -- hank is making this dead man dance a little jig for him and he's laughing it up and walt is the only one in the room who seems to feel the full weight of the ghoulishness of it all. and yet walt is the one who ordered gale's murder. he's the reason gale is dead. or hank being so dismissive about krazy-8's death even though he was a dea informant, meanwhile months after murdering krazy-8 walt can't cut the crusts off his sandwiches without thinking about him. it's so.......like imagine that you get murdered and even in death the only person who actually thinks of you as a human being worthy of empathy and consideration is the one who killed you. makes me gnaw at the walls

[cosmicstarlatte]

I love scary guard dog husband choso because if someone upsets you or dare lays a hand on you, it's ON SIGHT.

[ghastlywretch]

what was jaime in that chapter in the riverrun dungeons on what was he ON. cunt was being served left right and centre. jokes about killing kids, condemnation of knightly oaths, flirting w the milf whose kid you tried to kill whilst you're starved and sitting next to a bucket of your shit, ned gay allegations, adding to the dagger mystery...what crack had he snorted beforehand

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

GRRM wrote Dany to resemble Queen Naerys and then created a Jon Snow who wished that he was Aemon the Dragonknight...GEORGE REBECCA REGINALD MARTIN COUNT YOUR MF DAAAYYYYYSSSSSSSS

[tearsofcalamity]

handsy p2

⊹ character(s). satoru gojo ⊹ genre. n/sfw ⊹ tags. gn!reader (reader has a pussy/uses a strap but no pronouns used), dom!reader, sub!gojo, dacryphilia, pegging, toy usage (gojo receiving / vibrator, strap, onahole), degradation and praise (gojo receiving), hair pulling, overstimulation, face sitting, 69, cunnilingus, potentially unrealistic numbers of orgasms (gojo cums a lot), you ruin this man ⊹ part one here

teehee enjoyyyy

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI PLEASE!

"so, satoru, is it everything you hoped?"

you stared down with disdain at the man on your bed, raising a brow as he let out a small whimper.

drool trailed down the side of his lip, tear tracks freshly dried on his cheeks as he tried desperately to catch his breath. even as he spoke his next words, his hips continued to buck into the air.

"n-no more... hah... c-can't take it..."

you clicked your tongue, sliding the remote to his favorite vibrator up to the max setting once more.

satoru sobbed, fresh tears wetting his cheeks as he jolted, the toy buzzing just right against his abused prostate. a glob of precum leaked out of his tip, his fingers twisting the sheets beneath him as he squirmed.

his cock was red, sensitive beyond belief from the sheer number of dry orgasms he'd suffered through. you'd only granted him the mercy of touching his cock once, and he'd cum on the spot then—a mistake, clearly, since you refused to stimulate him there beyond that.

"ah, ah," you tutted, pushing his thighs down. "keep still. we're not done yet."

"please!"

"please what, 'toru? use your words," you scolded.

the man bit down on his lip hard, trying to stifle his noises. "c-can't—"

"now, you keep saying you can't, satoru, but you were the one who asked for this. 'make me cum ten times over', you said. well, what's the problem?"

you punctuated your chastisement with a sharp tug to his snow white hair, watching his mouth fall agape as he bucked his hips into the air again. you smacked his thigh.

"I told you, none of tha—"

"please touch me!" satoru wailed, cutting you off short. "fuck me, please, please— hah, ah! please! please, touch me, fuck me—"

you cut him off next, grabbing his chin and yanking him towards you. "how many times have you cum so far, 'toru?"

blue eyes filled with a pathetic gleam as he stared back at you, lip wobbling as he tried to sort through his fucked-out thoughts. you'd had him here for hours, and he wasn't even sure if his count was correct any longer.

"e... eight...?"

"very good," you purred. "so two more to go, right?"

his eyes blew wide, clarity filling them as your hand reached down to tug gently at his weeping cock, your other hand yanking the vibrator out of his ass.

satoru's mouth fell open in a silent scream as he flailed, broken moans escaping him as you touched his dick at last. he was conflicted between moving towards and shying away from your touch, body shaking like a leaf as your hand moved slick thanks to his abundant precum.

between his sobs, the man suddenly found your cunt right above his face. he hadn't even noticed you shift positions.

even in his stupor, he stuck his tongue out, lapping at your juices eagerly as he resisted the urge to grab onto your thighs and pull you down onto him.

you bit back a moan as his tongue writhed against your clit, sucking up everything you had to offer as he keened with abandon. you made sure to show him how good he was being as you ran your fingertip along his cockhead, swiping up his pre and using it to ease the slide of your hand.

you cupped your fist, hollowing it around his cock and glancing back at him, still going at your pussy like a man starved.

"haha... s-satoru, can you even breathe?"

"haahhnnn..." the man exhaled a loud whimper as he continued eating you out, trying so hard to keep his hips still. trying so hard to be good, just for you.

he had gotten his fair share of orgasms already, but he might actually die if he didn't get to cum while lapping up everything you had to give.

you moaned, pleased, smirking back at him.

"dumb little slut," you hummed. "thrust up into my hand like a good little whore. let's see you work for your orgasm."

satoru practically howled with pleasure at your affirmation, his hips thrusting wildly as he used your hand to get off. each mild touch sent him into a frenzy, and at last he couldn't help it, grasping onto your thighs to pull you closer as he thrust his tongue inside of you.

to his surprise (though he didn't have many thoughts going for him at the moment anyhow), you allowed this, only giving his thigh a warning squeeze as he continued thrusting and thrusting.

"hnnn! hhnngh!"

his whines were getting louder, muffled by your pussy as he continued his pleasurable ministrations. his tongue flicked your clit, and you bit your lip.

"g-good boy, 'toru, very good... go on, now, make me cum. you want to cum too, don't you?"

"hnnngh- hnn! haaah— ah!" you tried to ease your pressure, give him some space to breathe, but he refused to let go of your thighs until you came all over his face. a few muffled words, your name and 'please's escaped him from beneath your smothering weight.

after so many orgasms, it was clear it wasn't going to take much for the poor man to shoot his load this time. a warning whimper left his lips, and immediately following it, satoru latched onto your clit with his lips and sucked hard.

you let a moan of your own loose into the air, covering your mouth with your free hand as you felt that delightful little knot coiling in your belly snap. your juices gushed all over his face, his tongue flicking over your clit to prolong your release as he kept his mouth open so as to not let a single drop go to waste.

at the same time, satoru keened, ropes of cum shooting out of his cockhead with each thrust into your hand. his hips stuttered pathetically, trembling violently as he came down from his high.

you had to take a shaky exhale as you came down from your climax, reaching back to wrench off the man's hands. he whined softly as you moved away from his face, donning a completely fucked-out expression as he huffed and panted.

"one more to go, satoru."

"n-no... can't..."

satoru's tongue lolled past his lips, your slick still covering his face as he lay in a daze. he didn't even protest when you pushed your hand towards his face, licking weakly to clean his own cum off your fingers, driven solely by instinct.

his eyes were trained on the ceiling, focused entirely on the fuzz in his brain, the lingering pleasure from his ninth orgasm fizzling out just as your two fingers slid inside of him to check if he was still slick.

satoru's sudden scream was music to your ears.

"nice and loose, looks like all that work we did earlier really helped, hmm, 'toru?"

"yesss— hnghh— no! hurts, t-too much, w-wait—"

you pressed down right where his sweet spot was, his back bending into a pretty arch as you did so.

"aah! ah! p-please, more, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me—"

"greedy whore."

"y-yes!" he sobbed, eyes blown wide with pleasure as he felt a very familiar pressure against his rim, replacing the feeling of your fingers. "p-plea— oh!"

you practically took his breath away as you slid into him all in one fluid motion, the strap filling him to the brim and putting a delicious pressure on his g-spot.

but that wasn't all. the man froze up as he felt another sensation around his cock, a slick, tight, and erotic sort of sensation.

his eyes filled with tears at the sight of your wicked smirk, his cockhead sinking right into the fleshlight you had carefully prepared for him.

he didn't think it was even further possible after all he'd been through tonight, but one look at your eyes and he knew — he was going to get ruined.

you immediately began moving, shoving his cock into the onahole with vigor, slamming your hips against his ass.

the tears broke past satoru's eyes, slipping down his cheeks as he wailed into the air, fingers tearing the sheets as your strap pounded his deepest spots.

"y/n! y-y/n! too much! too much!" he sobbed, screaming, mouth agape as his tongue lolled. drool was beginning to pool on the pillow his head rested upon.

"look at you. moaning like a bitch in heat. you're such a pathetic little whore."

satoru was too far gone, your words muffled by the haze over his mind as his dick was thoroughly massaged by the toy, his prostate taking the steady pumps of your cock. each slam delivered a jolt of pure pleasure that caused him to tremble from head to toe.

"s-so good! ah! ah! hurts! more! aahhhnnn~!"

he didn't even have it in him to be embarrassed at the high-pitched keen he let out, his squeals and whines so loud that anyone in the next town over could likely hear him, even from the comfort of your bedroom.

you sped up both motions, the schlick, schlick, schlick of his cock in the toy accompanied by the smacking of skin on skin as you bottomed out inside of him.

"s-so deep— uhhnnn! fuck! fuck! g'na— please— deeper— harder!"

you complied, of course, gripping satoru's waist with one hand while your other squeezed the onahole, intent on wringing his cock dry.

satoru's jaw went lax, eyes glazed over. every pound to his prostate brought him closer and closer, the jelly-like material of the fleshlight rubbing right over that sweet, sweet spot beneath the head of his cock—

"g'na cum, g'na cum, y/n, y/n please, n-need it, need—"

"shhh, shhh. dumb little sluts don't need to think," you cooed, huffing out a laugh as you moved to pinch his tongue, watching as he instinctively began sucking on your thumb.

he only broke free from his suckling haze as his eyes went wide, a choked gasp leaving him as you pounded him harder, deeper, faster.

"c-cumming! cumming! g'na— c-cum, cum, cumming, please!"

you squeezed again, bullying his prostate just right, stroking his cock in just the way you knew drove him absolutely wild.

"go on, 'toru. cum for me."

"ah— aaaahhhh, fuck! fuuuuck!"

satoru choked on air, a broken wail echoing off the walls as he spurted into the onahole, hips bucking and trembling violently as you gradually slowed your thrusts. his thick, creamy cum overflowed the toy, flowing down over his cock and onto his tummy as he fought desperately to catch his breath, little spurts escaping his dick as he tried to regain control over his bodily functions.

you pulled out gently, drawing another whine from his lips, removing the onahole from around his pretty cock which caused yet another weakened noise.

"did so well," you cooed, brushing his sweat-slicked bangs away from his eyes. "look at you. so pretty when you cum, 'toru. did that feel good?"

all satoru could do was nod, his breathing ragged and irregular, his body still trembling minutely. you kissed away his tears, rubbing his hip as you lay down next to him.

"feel good?" you asked softly. "everything you wanted?"

the man whimpered a bit, tilting his head to bury into your neck, nodding gently again.

you trailed your fingers over the various bruises and marks you had left along his neck and shoulders earlier, smiling fondly.

"I'll call us out from work for tomorrow, mkay?"

when he pulled back with widened blue eyes, you chuckled.

"to give you a day to rest, satoru, not to fuck your brains out again. sure your cute ass is all sore now."

satoru pouted a bit, looking away.

"...I could handle it."

"oh, is that a challenge?"

at once, his pout dissipated into a sweet smile as he turned back to you, nerves causing his brow to twitch. he knew damn well he wasn't up for another 10 rounds.

"I didn't say anything at all~"

"right, right..."

"mmmm..." regaining a bit of his mind, satoru adjusted himself so he was cuddled right into you, a catlike grin on his face. "love you. thank you. felt really good."

you only laughed.

"love you too, satoru."