yayll

[yayll]

ATTENTION EVERYONE THE BEST DAZAI WRITER IS BACK🗣️‼️‼️

mwahahahah you are so silly and sweet! i appreciate the sentiment, angel :'))

[yayll]

HII IVY!!! HOW ARE YOU? HOW WAS YOUR VERY HOPEFULLY VERY NICE BREAK? 🥹-TeenZai Anon

teenzai!!! :-)

oh it was real nice.. i spent a lot of time being as mindful as possible and dabbling in my hobbies and whatnot.. i feel really good now, enough to write again even if the dazai ideas never left my mind (he has a way of doing that). i have something drafted i'll have to get around to posting soon, i hope you're doing wonderful as well! sending u a big hug!

[yayll]

guess who's been around the damn block and is ready to lock in and open up these requests everyone choke your dazai plushies <333

[yayll]

being in any kind of relationship with dazai is like the razor sharp and synthy intrumentals to any nine inch nails song along w the seductive and yearning guitar riffs of a deftones chorus... a bark and beg situation if u will

[yayll]

to those of u sending in the most delicious and devious beastzai requests do you want to maybe kiss your fist before you punch me in the face <3 (pleasantly wipes blood frm my lip)

[yayll]

random but like. are you alive and well 😭 please take care my dear <333 and please don't be dead

this is so sweet you are such an angel omg YES i'm alive and well :') i hate to worry you!

just been taking a lil break frm writing + being online and it's done me rlly good. but i miss u guys so >:-) i shall debut a lil something later this week hehe i'm feeling inspired and as always i have the best requests waiting for me wowwwwww xx

i love u~ my thoughts on ur other asks dealing w boredom and daydreaming abt dazai are that change can be inconsequential but the uselessness in itself is sometimes all the excitement u need. the acknowledgment can be enough just like thinking abt a silly & suicidal freak can be enough ^_^

[yayll]

hi my loves xx

let's see... this week i've been working on some dazai angst, i'm also taking some time to myself bc i am kind of going through it right now (a break up, gasp) and i'm discovering that all behaviors are impermanent but my whimsy is forever. being strange and offputting is awesome and totally valid and gorgeous.

i love u all! mhmmm

[yayll]

Requesting sadomasochist reader x sadomasochist Dazai.. *cough cough* I am sick in a way only u can cure and it's debilitating.. save me plz yayll ur the only cure,., *cough* I'm gonna die★

hi........ i kinda sorta dedicated my last fic to this ask bc i didn't want to answer it (wanted to stare at it longer) but um do u know that u changed my brain chemistry

[yayll]

Idcccc DeadApple Dazai was SO GORGEOUS!! Literally his best look ever -TeenZai Anon

don't i know it.... it's unfair how i haven't written dead apple dazai yet he is my preciousss

[yayll]

DID YOU SEE NEW BSD CHAPTER

NO I NEED TO CATCH UP ON A FEW I HAVE ASKS THAT I HAVENT REPLIED TO BC I CANT PARTAKE IN THE DISCUSSION .. WILL GET ON IT NOW !!

[yayll]

dazai forehead.. dazai hair tucked behind ear... dazai facial structure... dazai messy hair tied back in a bow by u... dazai slicked back hair... yes

[yayll]

Hiii fellow writer here! I just wanted to ask how do you manage to write so much? Like, I adore your writing and I can’t help but wonder what do you do when you have no motivation to get anything written?

That’s all, take care <333

hi sweet fellow writer!

how silly, i was just looking over my masterlist earlier and told myself i should probably tone it down on writing for a lil while. i'm starting to have a compendium of dazai nonsense, hehe.. thank you for reading nonetheless..

when it comes to writing and the frequency of it, i do everything in my power to write for myself above all else. i don't see it as a requirement to keep my blog relevant and i try to make the whole experience as self indulgent as possible (with the amazing added bonus that my lovely readers will see it) i also write on impulse so when i think of a rlly fun concept i just sort of write it out even before intending on posting it on here! i just want to see my vision come true and be happy with it!

don't get me wrong, motivation does in fact escape me at times (especially these past few months) but that's the most crucial part of all.. bc you have to literally gaslight ur mind into being like WHO CARES if i don't get this writing done. or ever, really. but it would be really nice to <3 and i think some fucked up survival instinct kicks in and pushes me to just start typing. that and daydreaming and holding into whimsy.. that alone will take you to the moon.

sorry if this became irrelevant to ur question, i think the frequency shouldn't matter, as long as the quality of what you put out reflects the sincerity in ur heart :3

mwah! i hope you write soon !!!!!

[yayll]

Literally just got flashbanged with pathetic freak Dazai & PM Executive Reader while in my last class of the day??? THANK YOU IVY FOR THE MEAL OH MY GOD?? - TeenZai Anon

did you like it... :'3 NO NEED TO THANK ME UR ENJOYMENT IS ENOUGH AAAAAA

[yayll]

~ a little something about being Dazai’s favorite little executive ~

You’re smoking outside of the agency’s building again, and though Dazai hasn't physically seen you yet, he can sense your presence just from the brand of cigarettes you smoke. He’s lazily splayed out on the agency’s couch wearing his headphones, neither object meant to be used during work hours. But this IS work, Dazai thinks to himself. He’s awaiting a prophecy that will save the world again! He’s awaiting you. You two had had a few run-ins during past missions where the ADA had no choice but to work with the enemy… It was a natural dynamic, really. He would shamelessly flirt and you would kick his ass.

It was love at first sight.

Recently, you had started making house calls out of the Port Mafia’s never ending attempt at luring Dazai back into the fold. It was something he despised, especially knowing these were orders coming directly from Mori himself. He hated knowing a precious weapon such as yourself was being used for the dirtiest of work: Cowardice. Yet he found himself forgetting how vexing your reasons for visiting were the second he would start to actually interact with you. You always came in peace, flaunting your black trenchcoat and that indescribable scent that always mingled with the tobacco that lingered wherever you went. You were just as addicting as tobacco, and thank god he wouldn't be picking up another addiction. You were enough. The second he smelled you, his eyes popped wide open, along with a smile to match. He put down the headphones and rushed to the window, where he looked down at you, oh so nonchalant. His favorite thing to do whenever you came by was to slip out and not tell a soul, he figured the agency had enough on their plate without your silly self ruining everything. He will sacrifice his dedicated time solving mysteries and diminishing crime, he shall carry the sin of having you all to himself! All he had to do was announce he was on his way to die and no one ever batted an eyelash.

“... I thought you quit.”

You hear a voice call out from the alley that runs next to the agency. He slowly makes his way to fully reveal himself, leaning against the red brick. You don’t turn yet, but you can feel the smugness that radiates from him. You sigh as you ash your cigarette.

“Tch…”

In an instant, the voice sounds far closer and deeper than before as a bandaged hand peeks from behind you and plucks the cigarette right out of your mouth.

“I’m a fan of the silent treatment, I’ll give you that. But I also like the silent treatment with a few added bonuses. Like being properly acknowledged. I’m sure your boss taught you proper etiquette when in the presence of your superiors, no?”

You turn, facing the looming figure that disguises itself as a man of virtue. You flash him a smug grin to match his.

“You’re not an executive anymore, Dazai. And for your information, I didn’t quit. Not that you’d ever know, you don’t know me at all.”

He wants to grab you by the shoulders and shake you violently while he tells you how he does in fact know you, because he has a fat file on every single thing that’s ever happened in your life sitting on his bed at home. He also knows you did in fact try to quit for exactly 5 days because he bugged that lovely little trench coat of yours while you nearly choked him out during your last meeting. He especially knows you’d run and hide if he told you how he listens to everything that happens to you. Everything you say and do when you touch yourself at night. Sometimes he even times his own release with yours as he sloppily pumps himself to the sheer possibility that he’s the one who you’re so pathetically calling out to during your late night solo sessions. He finds you lonely and sad, and it’s honestly the hottest thing about you. He has you completely mapped out in his mind, he could take you apart and put you back together completely wrong if he wanted to. It would be his pleasure.

Instead, he just flashes you that exaggerated smile of his as he stubs the cigarette out on the brick wall, tossing it over his shoulder once you finally pay him some attention.

“I was hoping you’d say that. It’s more fun when you get all insecure and feel the need to show off your super cool and useless title~”

You scoff at his remark, rolling your eyes as you fold your arms across your chest. Your silence is like ammunition for him, this time his voice drops to a whisper as he leans even closer, eyes looking right through you and you swear you could feel his touch against the leather of your coat.

“... But just to remind you, I did your job once...”

He suddenly steps back, holding the gun that was just tucked into your holster a second ago, spinning it in between his fingers like it were nothing but a toy. No, the real toy was already standing right infront of him. He murmurs one last time before he disassembles the gun and tosses it aside.

“... And I did it so much better than this.”

His words are laced with nothing but poison, and yet it leaves you wanting to hear more. The disrespect felt like a kiss, and it both revolted and excited you in embarrassing ways. You look off to the side, trying to hide the way your entire face is flushed while you fish out another cigarette to light. To have the attention of someone like Dazai was enthralling and devastating all at once. You didn’t know how long you’d have it for, and that’s what made you wish you could use what little time you got with him to bring him to his knees. It’s why you kept pestering Mori to let you keep hounding him. It wasn’t about what a great asset he would be to the Mafia, It was about how badly you wanted to be the puppet on his strings rather than the ones you were already tied to. You take a drag, and finally say something.

“You sound scared. You sound like someone who’s hiding behind a lot. Your little agency here can’t save what’s truly rotting inside of you. Can’t absolve you for shit.”

Dazai tilts his head as he digests your words, watching as the cloud of smoke engulfs you for a moment, and you reappear like his favorite apparition. He continues to stare with a blank, unreadable expression as that thought sinks in. You’re not entirely wrong. He runs a bandaged hand through his messy hair, speaking softly.

“You forgot deranged, hopeless, idiotic…”

This gets you to turn to look at him, a faint smile on your lips with a hint of sadness. It’s the first time you’ve ever smiled around him at all.

“You are a deeply selfish and cruel individual for trying to get me to sympathize with you.”

He smiles back, matching your wistful gaze.

“Isn’t that a part of my charm? You know, if you’re trying to make me hate myself, then you’re doing a wonderful job at it.”

You hum, shrugging as you watch the way your cigarette shrinks with every drag. Your tone is sarcastic, trying to be playful.

“Oh no, what ever will you do with all of this newly acquired self hatred?”

He shrugs back, mirroring your feigned nonchalance. That was the difference between you and Dazai. Yours was practiced, purely out of defense. You thought this was his way as well, before you got to really see him in action. But in truth, he was a black hole, chaotic and bountiful and ready to take everything from you at a moment's notice even if it meant nothing to him. There was a vast emptiness behind his narrowed eyes that made you feel small and fragile, you'd kill to know what he was truly thinking about right about now. That thought goes as fast as it comes when Dazai invades your personal space again, so close you can feel his breath on you as he takes your cigarette once more, but this time instead of putting it out on the wall, he opens his mouth and delicately puts it out on his tongue, not once looking away from you. You hear a quiet sizzle, but Dazai doesn’t flinch one bit. You watch in horror but as time goes on that horror turns into devotion as he lifts what’s left of it, leaving a small black circle on the center of his tongue and showcasing it for you like it were a revered performance.

You look at him like he's incoming traffic and you're the poor little deer he's about to tear to shreds. It's mesmerizing.

He lowers his face down to meet you, that strange look in his dark eyes again. He swallows the disgusting leftover ash, letting out a heavy sigh after. He speaks as if nothing ever happened.

“... I’ve got to get back to work now, precious. Geez, you’re such an enabler, making me crave a workload. I’ll see you next week? Let’s keep this up. I like a good routine!”

Dazai simply strides off and you’re left standing there, confused as to what just took place before you. Just as you’re about to turn around and leave, he walks right back up to you and whispers directly in your ear, his voice breathy and sensual.

“By the way, you should really think about quitting for real. There are nicer things to put in your mouth. Take your filthy trash with you, and tell Mori I’m not interested~”

He takes your wrist, opens up your hand and places the extinguished cigarette butt in your palm, before folding your hand closed again and placing it back to rest idly next to your torso. He boops the tip of your nose but you can’t even bring yourself to look up at him after that. His touch feels like pressing a lemon on an open wound, and you find yourself biting your lip as you are once again left alone with very conflicting feelings about this whole ordeal. What are you going to tell back at Mafia headquarters? That the man you're seriously crushing on just burned himself infront of you as an act of submission and you fucking folded? You squeeze your palm a little tighter, and take a deep breath before you finally bring yourself to move again.

You won’t hear from Dazai again until next week, but he’ll hear from you tonight from the comfort of his own home, thinking about what he could get away with the next time he has the pleasure of tormenting you. Maybe you'll even court him back.₊˚⊹♡

That same night, you throw away your pack of cigarettes.

[yayll]

~ about me ~

hi it's ur dearest and silliest writer ivy and i would like to use this post to tell u a few things about me + my writing rules!

i started writing on this sideblog sometime last year (yipee) but i've been on tumblr for like, 10+ yrs

i'm into watching movies, videogames, making art, lounging, avoiding sleep, writing, getting nosebleeds, chainsmoking (bad for u), daydreaming and the whole bit!

i have two cats freaks

honestly u guys will always know what i'm upto or what's going on w me because i'm always on here chatting up a storm >:-) but pls feel free to stop by anytimeee

everything else is secret but if you ask nicely...

˚₊‧꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

my rules:

as of now i only write for dazai! (srry)

i am sooooo down for dark themes trusttt (i am a yandere/cnc/dubcon fiend) but i just don't feel comfy writing any actual death/r*pe and rlly triggering content if it doesn't serve the fic any purpose.

if i decide not to write your fic idea, it's NOTHING against you at all! i would just rather not write something i don't feel 100% devoted to/knowledgeable in when it comes to my personal writing interest and thus would not like to half ass anything.

since i just wrote my first fully nsfw fic i want to say mdni!!!!!!!!!!! that being said, i will write nsfw if requested though i feel it will be a veryyy rare occurence since my usual writing mostly stays in the suggestive/mildy nsfw space.

i welcome all dazai's! pm dead apple ada beast literally love his ass.

if u sent me a request and i have not gotten to it yet, i DID see it (unless the ask got eaten up somehow) i just have a lot of requests to get to in between writing my own fic ideas that i want to explore but i hope that when i do get to yours it was worth the wait!!!!

i also am an adult w an adult job and life and sadly that also means my time is divided a lot more than usual sometimes and that's just how it goes. i will answer regular asks as i pop on here but if there is one that i feel requires extra attention i will save it for when i can reply thoughtfully. i truly LOVE when u guys pop in to say hi!

i always write a gender neutral reader bc it's what makes me feel the most comfortable when keeping my readers in mind UNLESS stated otherwise in a request.

thank you all so much for your patience and continuous support :'3 i'll try to keep this page as updated as possible! 🪽🌀

[yayll]

whoever sent in that sadomasochist dazai request... u just made my heart palpitate

[yayll]

I just wanted to be sure and make sure im not having EXTREMEEE Deja vu or something but did i ever send in an ask about Virgin Sacrifice!Dazai AU??? -TeenZai Anon

:o no but that sounds insaaaane can you imagine the gratification this man would get from being a potential sacrifice omg