#head under the ground like an ostrich since he doesn’t have the ability to deal with being bombarded with numerous questions and demands

[2-dsimp]

The Boss would be insufferable to be around, always sighing and mourning over not getting his latest dosage of pure perfection on his phone screen. If he wasn’t already lazy before you’d mistake him for being the embodiment sin of Sloth.

“It’s been 1 day, 6 hours, 24 minutes, and T-minus 30 seconds since they last posted anything...”

Danny droned, as he stared longingly at past pictures and video clips of his darling. His slender fingers trailing across the digital contours of your figure with a needy trembling pout of his chapped lips.

“that’s the same amount of time my life started to fail in having any meaning”

He finished with a stray crocodile tear collecting ruefully within his nonexistent tear ducts. That dried up from pulling all nighters obsessing over your page and any anime fandoms that could take his mind off you (to which none of them did).

All of the remaining hitman members merely eyed their leader in either exasperation, amusement, or just plain old disappointment for being such a sad waste of space.

It got so bad to the point where he’d just be found around random spots in the hideout glued to the floor like a dead corpse.

His phone clutched within a death grip as he was surrounded by picture posts that he printed out from your social media. Almost as if he was preforming a self sacrificial ritual to evoke your page to give him an update on what you were doing.

To be blunt Danny would just be a sad sap without you, leaving his team to pick up the slack and set out individually to bring you back. If only to shut up their Boss from whining depressive monologues about how he was useless without his darling to fanboy over. And get his ass to start working like an actual decent human being.

[mynameisdreartblog]

Birds

Aries: A dragon; if it has wings, then it counts. By this logic, then anything can become a bird if it has wings attached to it. That can include your dog, your family, and your angels alongside your demons. Convince your angels and your demons to get into a hot, winged make-out session and convince them that this is how dragons are spawned. Make stuff up to get what you want, even if that's a dragon.

Leo: A cockfighting rooster that uses electric talons. You know very well that cockfighting is outlawed in many countries, and you also know very well that it's still allowed in just as many countries. You release the bad hens out of the coop and rile them up. You poke them with a taser until they develop a stored electrical charge they can utilize in combat with other cocks. Electrocute your problems to supercharge them.

Libra: Vultures waiting for your crumbling body to be taken by the reaper. To be fair to the vultures, if they think you're dead, then you're probably acting like a dead thing. Get out of that porch chair and charge crazily at the tricked birds to scare them off. But don't stop there, try threatening the vultures to give up their meal so you can feast on it, then threaten to take their eggs so you can raise them yourself. You've become your own scarecrow.

Gemini: A very angry parrot. Do you even hear the things that come out of your mouth when you're angry? You're lucky to be around people that understand this component of you. You're just repeating what you heard because it's the only thing that's making you feel secure has to be let go, and you have so much difficulty accepting that. I'm sorry to say, but you're getting too big for your cage

Taurus: A toucan with a broken beak. Did you know that a toucan's beak is so large because it relies on it as a cooling mechanism in tropical environments? Like the toucan's beak, there's going to be abnormally large things in your life that people will ask questions about. But now, you have a response towards those questions, just destroy those large things and never acknowledge them again. You're sweating a lot for some reason.

Cancer: An ostrich with its head fortified in the ground. You have the ability to be a formidable force, but you still attempt to hide from your problems. Well, "hide" is an understatement. You prefer more to build a nuclear bunker to place on your head so you never have to see, hear, smell, or taste all the awful things in this world ever again. You'll wake up to having no special powers in a world now ravaged by your kind's new, super-powerful mutant forms.

Scorpio: A peacock. Oh, Excuse me, I mean a peafowl. To tell you, I don't really care for the proper terminology, as long as the message's point is getting sent across to one; that's all that matters. If people still can't get your point even after directly informing them, try to inform them through the colorful, flashy feathers on your tail. Maybe then those morons will actually get it for once if it's conveyed through kaleidoscope format - an unconventional one.

Aquarius: A swan, a fat and adorable one. Those who say plump creatures, of any kind, aren't as elegant as skinny creatures are horribly mistaken and really ignorant. Your added weight is an advantage, for the pond fish don't expect you to fall into the water as quickly as other swans. People also don’t expect you to arrive at the last minute to save them, but you always come dramatically late. People should change their expectations when dealing with you.

Virgo: A hawk that stalks you at inconvenient locations. You'd normally expect hawks to follow your path in secluded woods, but this one follows you in the big city. It doesn't matter where you are, it'll follow you. You've seen it in the subway, the café, the storage facility, and even in your own home. Everybody you talk to seems to notice it alongside your ignorance towards it. If you ask me, I think you've neglected to feed your pet hawk.

Capricorn: Ravens that encircle your neighbor's house. Their movements are done in a way that's almost ritualistic. You haven't seen your neighbor come outside ever since they came. One day, he finally musters the courage to step out. The birds all grab his clothing at once and, amazingly, drag him off to never be seen again. Your biggest fear after seeing this is the thought that they're under your legion. You cannot quote ravens, they don't talk.

Pisces: A great gray owl that's not so gray. Most of your body mass comes from all that plumage you have surrounding your very naked interior. This could be a sign that underwear is unnecessary under a ton of shirts and pants. What's more striking than your larger-than-life appearance is your unbreakable stare that haunts small rodents at night. They give the impression that you're always watching, no matter the direction or visibility.

Sagittarius: A flamingo with a shrimp deficiency. The others mock you for your lack of iconic resemblance, but you don’t see this as negative. You're proud of lacking the essentials, because lacking what's made out to be essential gives you what's truly essential. They will call you a born-traitor, and others will call you a born-rebel. Be wary of people who believe the world is inherently bad, but also be wary of people who believe it's inherently good too.