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cruecifymesixx · 5 years

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Love and Leather /part forty one/

Word Count: 6k

A/N: Ya’ll the amount of love i got for the last chapter was fucking incredible! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Here’s your birthday present, @zoenicoles! Enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Warnings: Nikki coming back from the dead, language, drugs, some cute nikki and vanity flashbacks

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @anntheboneless, @tiranni, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @baiabouk @awesomealmostdopestudent, @martabastic, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer@electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @emmaelizabeth2014, @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120@xrosegoldwolfx, @cranberribread. @fandomshit6000, @beachystars, @xstarryeyes, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @dillightfulpickle, @marvelismylifffe

December 23rd, 1987

I sat at the diner, waiting for someone else to come in. I had two hours left on my shift, and so far everything has been a complete shit show today.

I sat on the barstool with my legs crossed as my eyes gazed over to a teenage couple. The girl was wearing this flowy light pink dress, her hair was done up in a bun and had flowers poking out of the sides. She looked like a ballerina. Her boyfriend, he was wearing all black. Black combat boots, black jeans, black under shirt, black leather jacket. His hair was messy and he had a bulky skull ring on his finger. They were sharing a chocolate peanut butter milkshake together as they held hands. They reminded me of Nikki and myself.

I sighed as I turned around to face Lucia who was pouring salt and pepper into their respective shakers.

“I’m ready to go home.” I pouted as I rested my head in the palm of my hand.

“Why?so you can stuff your face with ice cream and cry yourself to sleep?” She outed me as I scoffed.

“Um, I traded ice cream for frosted animal cookies like a week ago, and I haven’t cried in a couple of nights, thank you very much.” I rolled my eyes as I watched her.

“You going home for Christmas?” She questioned as I shook my head, “No, mom took Greyson and Sage on a cruise until after New Years. So I’ll be by myself.” She looked at me with sad eyes.

“Stop, it’s fine. It’s all good.” I shrugged as I turned around when the bell rang over the door.

A group of drunk guys, awesome.

“Hey guys, welcome to-“ “Can we just skip straight do dessert?” The tall blonde asked, grabbing me by arm and pulling me to him. I was quick to shove away from him.

“Behave, all of you or get the hell out.” I spat at them. They laughed at their blonde friend before pulling him into the booth.

I took their orders and was walking to the kitchen, when another waiter, Jenny walked out. She had a tray full of food and bumped into me. The hot chili cheese fries going all over my apron.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, “I’m so sorry Vanity, I...I didn’t mean too, I’m so sorry.” She was repetitive, I think it was cause she was still new

“It’s fine, just clean it up and tell the customers it’s gonna be another Ten minutes.” I ordered as she was quick to do what I said.

I sighed as I pulled the apron off of me, throwing it into the dirty bin as I grabbed another one, “Here’s my orders Rubio.” I said, handing him the meal ticket.

I walked back out, seeing that Jenny was having a difficult time with her guests. I groaned as I walked over.

“Hi, what seems to be the problem?” I asked, “How long does it really take to get me my damn chili cheese fries? It’s not that damn hard to make!” He snapped at me.

“Sir, we apologize. But we make the freshest of fries. May I offer you a complementary beer?” I asked, motioning to the empty mug.

“I...I uh, yes I would like another one. Thank you.” I smiled at him as I handed the mug to her.

“Always, always offer them free beer. It calms them down.” I reassured Jenny.

“I’m going to take a smoke break.” I told Lucia as she nodded.

I grabbed my jacket and stepped outside. It was a bit chilly. I looked at the busy street of the sunset strip.

My mind drifted to Nikki, as it usually does the past month. He won’t talk to me. None of the guys will, not even T-bone. I tried calling Doc, but he tells me to let it go. I can’t just let it go. I need to tell him I-

“Vanity! Foods ready! And Nikki’s on the TV! Hurry!” Lucia yelled, frantically motioning for me.

“Nikki’s always on the TV.” I said as I grabbed the tray of food, she held the door open for me. “No! Look!” She said as she pointed up to the tv that was in the corner, we always kept it on MTV when Francisco wasn’t working.

We’ve received unconfirmed reports that Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx has died of an apparent drug overdose.

The tray of food slipped from my fingertips, Lucia was in my face talking but I couldn’t hear her. It was like everything turned off and the world stopped. I stared at the TV, seeing a video of him playing the bass.

“I...I have to go.” I stuttered, blinking away tears. I felt my heart beating in my ears.

“Okay, Van....lets just sit down, okay? Let’s take a bre-“ “Nikki’s dead?” I asked her, she looked at the TV as it wouldn’t stop playing.

“Maybe...maybe it’s just a joke and he’s-“ “That’s such a fucked up joke!” I yelled out but she hushed me.

“Come.” She said grabbing my hand and pulling me out the back door. The moment we stepped outside I kicked over a trash can.

“He can’t be fucking dead!! He-he can’t just leave me like that!! I...I have to go...I need to go find him.” I cried out, trying to walk back inside but the door wasn’t opening

“Why isn’t this god damn door opening!!” I sobbed, tears running down my face as I kept trying to open it. Lucia came over, looking at me with sad eyes again as she used her key to unlock it.

I took off my apron and my work shirt, as I had a undershirt on. I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my keys and purse, “I have to go! Just take care of everything!” I shouted at her, before running out the door and to my car.

I sat in my car, trying to calm myself down before I started driving. Nikki isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. He’s done so much god damn drugs he has to be immune to them by now. Right?

I became pissed off as I started slamming my hand against the steering wheel, “God damnit!” I cried in frustration. I rested my forehead against the steering wheel as I tried to control my breathing. I took a few seconds and then started the car and smoking cigarette after cigarette until I became lightheaded.

I turned on the radio to help keep me sane as the silence was killing me. But every Rock station was saying the same thing, Nikki Sixx was dead.

“Shut up!!” I screamed at the radio before changing the station once again. I started balling my eyes out when I heard Def Leppard’s “Love Bites”.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” I sobbed, wiping my eyes with my shirt. He can’t be fucking gone! He can’t do this to me!

I pulled up to his house in Van Nuys, punching in the code to the security box. I waited until the gates were open and then drove up. I quickly turned off the car, jogging over to his front door and walking inside.

“Nikki!!” I yelled out for him, turning on the lights of his living room.

“Nikki! Are you here!” I yelled again, taking the stairs two at a time until I was walking down the hallway to his room, I pushed open the door. His bed was made for once, the leather jacket he always wears was laying on top.

I looked over to the closed doors of his closet. I shook my head, feeling my bottom lip tremble as I walked over to it. I opened the doors but he wasn’t in there. In his place were needles galore and enough alcohol bottles to make an alcoholic throw up.

I closed the doors before leaning against them, maybe he’s just out with the guys- the guys!!!! I need to get ahold of them!

I rushed downstairs to his kitchen, going over to the landline before picking it up and trying to call Tommy first. I waited patiently but there was no answer. I groaned as i hung up the phone

One by one, I had called Mick, Vince, Doc, And Tom. I even went ahead and called Motley’s body guard and their publicist. Not a single soul answered their phones. I put my head in my hands, leaning against the counter as I cried.

I forced myself away from the counter, dragging my feet up to his room. I felt as all time had stopped around me. Nothing felt real anymore. I opened the door to his bedroom, walking over to his bed before crawling into the middle of it. His black satin sheets smelt like his cologne, I clutched the pillow he sleeps on when we share the bed together.

*Flashback*

September ‘82

“Nikki?” My words were slurred as I tried keeping my focus on him. Ever since I came back from visiting my parents, I have a new found friendship with Mötley Crüe. They were pretty cool guys, except they always found a way to get me extremely fucked up, and tonight’s party at Nikki’s house was no exception.

“Yes, doll?” Nikki said, putting his hands on my waist to help keep my balance, “You good?” He asked, a look of concern written across his face.

“I don’t want you to think I’m lame, but I need to lay down.” I giggled as I gripped his shoulders. He smiled at me, before taking my hand and leading me up the stairs.

“Watch your step.” He told me, as I kept looking down at the stairs so I wouldn’t trip. He led me to a room and when he opened the door it was his bedroom.

I let go of his hand as I looked around his room. The furniture was a dark mahogany, the curtains were black and his bed sheets and comforter were blood red, “Do you want to wear the dress or one of my shirts?” He asked, digging through his closet.

“Can I have a shirt? This dress is suffocating me.” I said as I kicked of my heels and sat on his bed. I took a deep breath in and exhaled, god the room was fucking spinning.

He let out a laugh as he handed me the shirt, “uh...can you turn around?” I asked him, he nodded and faced the other way.

“I can tell T-bone to lay off the zombie dust and the blow if you want?” He asked as I started taking the dress off.

“Zombie dust yes, blow...no.” I said as I shimmied the dress down my legs before kicking it at him as I saw him try to turn his head.

“Hey! No peeking!” I shouted, stumbling onto his bed as I lost my balance.

He laughed, “I’ll see you naked one day, I’m not too worried.”

I put the shirt on, seeing that it was an old T-Rex shirt. I smiled, he always wore this one.

“And what makes you so sure about that?” I asked, trying to walk over to him. He turned around and faced me.

He shrugged, “I just know I will.” He smirked down at me, I hate that smirk of his. It’s so damn cocky.

“Don’t get your hopes up, Sixx. It’s never gonna happen.” I said, toying with the necklaces that laid against his bare chest that was poking out from underneath the half buttoned shirt.

My gaze met his glazed over eyes, he moved the curls out from my face. His hand rested against the side of my cheek as he lowered his head down, I tried taking a step back from him but he snaked his arm around my waist and wouldn’t let me go. He pulled me closer to him, my chest hitting his torso. I felt my heart race as he licked his lips. I couldn’t take my eyes away from his lips.

“Let’s get you in bed.” He whispered, he smiled before letting me go. I nodded quickly as he walked me over to the bed, pulling the blankets down so I could get in before he threw them on me.

I pulled them up to my chin as I watched him get undressed. I stopped watching, pulling the blankets over my head when I saw him undo his belt buckle. A few moments later, I felt the bed shift as he got in beside me.

“What are you doing?” I asked, peeking my head out and looking at him. He was on his back as he tilted his head over to look at me, “I’m going to bed, what does it look like?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, “But I’m sleeping here, can’t you go somewhere else?” I questioned, my tone coming off as snobby. He let out a laugh as he tucked his hands under his head.

“You’re telling me to get out of my own bed?” He asked, giving me a curious look.

“N-no, I just, You still have guests here...” I trailed off, still hearing the music from downstairs.

“They’ll leave when they’re ready.” He said, turning on his side to face me, as he took most of the blankets away.

“Hey asshole, give me some blankets.” I said, tugging them away from his grip.

“If we laid closer together we wouldn’t be having this issue, Princess.” I scoffed at his remarks.

“As if.” I rolled my eyes, “Stay on your side and don’t touch me.” I warned him as he grinned. I turned on my side and had my back facing him.

“You know, That’s the first time a chick has ever said not to touch her while she’s in my bed.” Nikki explained as I shook my head.

“Shut up.” I said, pulling the blankets up over my head, as an attempt to drown him out.

“How about you make me?” I heard him chuckle. I sat up in bed, “I’d rather sleep outside then in the same bed as you.” I took the blankets off but stopped when he grabbed my wrist.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop, I’d rather you sleep in my bedroom than the guest room. People know not to come in here.” Nikki said, his grip subsiding as I laid back down.

“Stop looking at me.” I said through closed eyes, as i could feel him hovering over me.

“You won’t let me fuck you and you won’t even let me look at you...What do you want me to do? Just ignore you?”

“Who said I wouldn’t let you fuck me?” I smirked, opening my eyes as he studied my face.

“You just assumed that because I decline your advances and make you work for it.” I smiled in his face, gently patting his cheek as he exhaled deeply.

“Well, it’s annoying. You’re annoying.” He grumbled, plopping back down on his side of the bed.

“Once you get to know me, you’ll fall in love with me.” I told Nikki as he laughed.

“Alright drunky, I’ll be waiting for that day. Go to bed.”

*End Flashback*

That was the first night I shared a bed with him, the following morning was the first time out of many attempts to get into my pants. God damnit, Nikki. I sobbed into the pillow. How could he just be dead? I needed more time....I needed more time with him.

*next morning, Nikki’s POV*

I stumbled up the driveway, turning around to wave goodbye to the girls that had picked me up at the hospital. Did I really fucking die? Did I really shoot up that much heroin to cause my heart to stop beating and my body to shut down on itself?

I groaned as I bent over, grabbing the spare key from underneath the flower pot. My whole body felt like it was on fire my joints kept locking up on me. I walked over to the door, swinging it open as it unlocked. I leaned into the door, resting against it as I looked around the house. It was deathly quiet and it was rather cold in here, I should open up some windows.

My eyes darted over to the kitchen, my throat was dry and hurting. I needed some water, and then to pass out for a while.

I dragged my feet, feeling as if weights were attached to me. I hated feeling like this, but I did it all to myself. I gripped the kitchen counter, grabbing a cup before filling it up. I couldn’t control the trembling of my hand as the glass met my lips, I didn’t even care that half of the water was dribbling down my chin and onto my bare chest.

I put the glass down, gripping the counters as I stared down into the sink. I closed my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts.

“Fuck.” I muttered to myself, shaking my head as I stood up straight and looked out the window to my back yard. I turned around when I heard a light gasp. Oh, Vanity. I am so fucking relieved to see you.

She stood across from me with puffy blood shot eyes. Tears were falling down her face as she covered her mouth with her hand, sobbing into it. My eyes widened at the pain written all over her face. Did she know what happened?

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I winced at how horrible my voice sounded, it was like going through puberty all over again.

“Nikki…” She croaked, taking hesitantly slow steps towards me. She reached for me, placing her hand on the side my face. I closed my eyes, feeling as if I was melting into her touch.

“You’re here…you’re alive….but, but all the radio stations and MTV…” She trailed off, getting choked up by more crying.

“Of course I am…the devil didn’t want to give up his throne just yet.” I muttered, breaking into a small smile, but she just stared at me and rolled her eyes as she wiped her face.

“Nikki! This isn’t a time to be fucking funny! I thought you were dead!!! The whole world thought you were dead!!” She weeped, choking on her own breath.

I was concerned, how long had she been here for? I wasn’t at the hospital long…I don’t think.

I had no time to react as Vanity hugged me, squeezing me tight, “Ow.” I moaned, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I breathed in the scent of perfume.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” I whispered into the top of her head as she continued to cry on me, feeling her hot tears drop onto my bare chest.

“What….What is that?” She trembled, pulling away as she brushed her finger over the giant dark purple bruise that was on top of where my heart lays.

I rubbed my eyes as I looked down at the bruise and her red nail that didn’t move away from it, “Adrenaline shots, it took two of them to get me back. Apparently the guy was a fan.”

My gaze met hers as she stared at me through teary eyes, “Nikki, I love you.”

I dry swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at her, I couldn’t muster up any words to say. By the look and tears on her face, plus the glimmer of nervousness written all over, I could tell she was serious.

She stuttered, “I…I’m…I’m in love with you. And I am so sorry you had to die to make me realize it.”

She ran her fingers through her hair, “I spent the whole night crying. I…I came here after work hoping that it was a sick cruel joke but you weren’t here and the house was cold, and, and nobody would answer my calls, I know I fucked up and I’ve missed you so fucking much and I am-“

I swiftly kissed her, tasting the saltiness of her tears on our lips. I pulled away and rested my forehead on hers, “I love you too.” I pecked her lips once more, “So damn much.”

“Don’t ever leave me again. I don’t want to be without you…ever.” She warned as I nodded.

“I’m done with drugs. I’m done with letting everyone down and I’m done with being unhappy.” I told her, rubbing the back of my neck.

“I’m so sorry for everything with Slash. I don’t know why I was being like that…I should’ve just listened to you.” She looked down at the floor like a scolded child, “I should’ve never slept with him.” She added on, finally looking up at me.

“It’s fine.” I quickly brushed it off, I didn’t want to think of it ever again.

“He was with me, at the hotel when I Uh…” I started saying, but I was feeling as my skin was crawling. He was fucked up too, Stevens girlfriend had to get him in the shower to wake him up.

“I figured as much, he told me you showed it to him. Why would you do that? Just so he can ruin his life and body too?” I rolled my eyes as I leaned against the kitchen counter.

“Vanity god damn it….everything hurts right now okay? I feel like everything inside my body is burning. I don’t want to argue. Just-just can you please get me something? I’m starving.” I expressed. She looked at me, I couldn’t even begin to imagine the last time I ate, let alone took a shower

She nodded, “I have to go to the store then, you have no food….just stay here, shower and I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She said as she, grabbed her keys and jacket from the couch. She put my hand on his chest, “Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back.” She repeated herself, I nodded as I watched her walk out the front door.

I stayed downstairs to hear her leave. When she drove out the security gates, I slowly walked up the stairs. Y’know, fuck the drugs. I don’t need them I can get clean. I can do the whole sober thing. I can do it, I want to do it.

I walked up to my bedroom, glancing in the mirror of the bathroom. God I looked fucking horrible, I looked like a zombie. I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I need to call everyone, she’s the only one that knows I’m not dead.

I sat in front of my telephone and recorded a new voicemail, “Hey…it’s me Nikki, I can’t come to the phone right now…because I’m dead.”

I cursed at myself as I stood up straight, eyes meeting the only place in the world I felt safe in, with my guns and drugs by my side.

I closed the doors behind me, sitting down on the floor as I melted junk on a spoon, over and over and over again. Until I felt nothing. I still didn’t feel nothing, I felt dizzy and numb. Fuck! I wish I can stop this self destruction, it’s not fucking fun anymore!

I stood up, wobbling around as I looked into the already cracked mirror, laughing at myself. My laughter soon turned to tears of pain, before a rush of anger went through me. I glared at myself before punching the mirror again, finally shattering it into a pieces. I grimaced as my knuckles were busted up.

I stumbled onto the floor, eyes half shut as I laid down. Maybe this way would be better. Maybe dying with my drugs and Tom’s guns and my rockstar clothes by my side. What a perfect way to be found.

*Vanity’s POV*

After a short while later, and an unexpected trip to work since Francisco had left me in charge over the holidays, I was back at Nikki’s.

“Nikki! I’m back! I tried calling and you need to change that god awful voicemail. That’s not even remotely funny!” I yelled out, putting the paper bags full of groceries on the counter. Hm, he must be in the shower.

“Nikki?” I called out as I walked up the stairs and too his bedroom. I didn’t hear water running, but I saw the doors to his drug haven were half open.

I exhaled, putting my hand on my stomach as I was becoming nauseous. I stared at the doors before walking over to them. Please don’t be in there. Please don’t be in there.

I pushed the doors open, to find him laying on the floor. A needle was still in his arm as blood was prickling down it.

“Oh, you son of a bitch. Wake up!” I yelled, lightly kicking his foot. I stared at him waiting for him to move but he didn’t. I furrowed my eyebrows as I dropped down to my knees in front of him.

“Nikki? Wake up.” I said as I patted his cheek and shook his shoulder. He finally groaned and a huge sigh of relief rushed over me.

He looked down at his arm, seeing a bent needle and blood dripping down as it puddled in his hand. I saw his eyes begin to water up, probably realizing he was still alive and he wasn’t going to to die so easily as the first time.

I stared at him. He needed the help, and I know he wants it. Heroin had him choking and injecting only made breathing a little easier. Now it was ruining him. Killing him. This use to be tolerable for everyone involved, including me. This whole time he was probably screaming for help and nobody listened to him. I didn’t listen to him.

He looked up at me, seeing that I was just as scared as he was. The tears in his eyes trickled out as he let out a sob, “Fuck!”

I cupped his jaw, his tears falling onto my hands, “Nikki, you need to go to rehab and you need to stay there for a while. Your addiction is too much for you to handle on your own. You have to go.”

“Ple-please don’t leave me.” He choked out, as he grabbed my hands. He cursed. “Shit blood, fuck, I’m sorry.” He moved his hands away from me, “I…I hit a mirror.” I turned my cheek and saw broken glass everywhere.

I looked down at my hands, feeling nauseous as I felt the warmth of his blood and the metallic scent hitting my nose, “Sixx, I was only gone for an hour and a half.” I mumbled as I wiped my hands on the shirt I was wearing.

My eyes wandered to the track marks that ran all across his body, I could only imagine the ones out of view, “I need help, Vanity. I can’t do this anymore…I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want this…” he cried as he grabbed the bent needle that was stuck in his arm, tearing it out of his skin before he threw it away from us.

“This…this shit is going to kill me..” he sighed as he laid back down, but rested his head on my lap. I ran my hands over his hair, trying to smooth it out. He sniffled a few times as I felt his tears soak into my jeans.

“This shit already killed you, Nikki. I told you to fucking stop months ago. You need serious help. You need a drug counselor, you need a therapist, you need all of it.” I expressed my dismay as I leaned over and kissed the side of his temple.

“Not just you, but the whole band needs to go. You all need help, Tommy is gonna be next if he continues.” I wiped my eyes, thinking about loosing any of them. Even Malibu Barbie, Vince.

“I-I know they’ll do it…Tommy will, if I go he will go too…” He trembled, “I’m sorry Van….I’m so sorry.”

“Stop saying sorry. I know you’re sorry, I know what I was getting myself into. I knew what I was signing up for from the moment this started, Nikki.”

He continued to rest his head against my legs, I noticed his eyes were having a hard time staying open, “I’ll call Doc…and we’ll have a group meeting and find a rehab. Please stay here…please. I need to throw all of it away.”

I looked around at all the drugs and paraphernalia that littered his closet, “You need to show me every spot in this house where you hid the drugs and I’ll get them out.”

“I love you, I love you so much.” He mumbled into my skin before weakly standing up. He walked over to a box and opened it up. I quickly closed it and took it from him. It took us over an hour to show where he hid everything. He hid it in his closet obviously, behind the headboard of his bed. The bathroom, taped in a plastic bag in the toilet. He had used rigs tucked away underneath the couch cushions in the living room. He told me he would buy in bulk, so he kept most of the drugs in the freezer so they would stay potent. I followed him around the mansion for over an hour with a trash bag.

When we were done, I took the trash bag to the can outside and then took the can to the curb outside his gate.

I walked back into the kitchen and immediately washed my hands, scrubbing away his dried blood as well as sticky heroin residue. When I was finished I rested my head in my hands, leaning against the sink as i took a moment to collect my thoughts.

Nikki cleared his throat, I turned around to look at him, “I’m… I’m gonna take a shower…” he said quietly as he looked at the floor, “Did you get food? I am really hungry. I haven’t ate in three days.”

I nodded, “Um yeah…I can make chicken Alfredo…it’s um-“ I stopped and laughed at myself, “It’s the only thing I know how to cook…” I trailed off as I saw his lips pull into a small smile.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He reassured me as I grabbed a pan and put it on the stove.

I felt his eyes following me as I searched for things around the kitchen, “Thought you were going to shower?” I questioned as he nodded.

“Yeah I am…just, thank you.” He said, trying to come near me but I stopped him by putting my hand on his chest, “Van, I’m sorry.” He pleaded with me, taking my hand off his torso and placing a gentle kiss as he smiled at me.

“Go shower, Nikki.” I said, taking my hand away from him. He soon left and went upstairs.

*an hour later*

I finished cooking as I scraped the bottom of the pan. I mean, can you really blame me? I never really learned to cook as Loretta always cooked every meal when I was younger and Tonya cooks for us back at the house.

But it tasted okay at least. It wouldn’t be served at a five star restaurant that’s for sure.

“Your phone won’t stop ringing.” I spoke to Nikki as he walked in and sat at the table, pushing bottles of alcohol to the side to make room for us.

“Yeah, well they can wait.” He said before stuffing his face with the food. I was waiting for him to react badly to it but he didn’t.

“This..is really fucking good. I didn’t know you can cook.” He said, mouth full of food. He was probably saying that to spare my feelings, and probably cause he hasn’t ate in a couple of days.

I laughed as I sat down next to him, “I don’t know how to cook. But I can make this, Mac and cheese, a grilled cheese sandwich, scrambled eggs, and a nice bowl of cereal.” I explained, as I poked the food around the plate.

He laughed as he wiped his face, “No, really this is good. Thanks for going to get groceries. I’ve been meaning to do it..” he trailed off, continuing to shovel food into his mouth.

“You should call doc, maybe the band…let them know you’re alive.” I suggested as he looked at me.

“I am, I will. But later.” He said as I shook my head, “After you finish, I mean it Nikki.” I ordered as he nodded and continued eating.

After we were both done, he went into the living room to make some calls as I stayed behind and tried to clean up his disgusting kitchen. It was like the counters have never been wiped down. I wiped my hands on a dish towel as I threw the remaining empty bottles away.

I heard yelling coming from the other room, he didn’t sound happy.

I heard him slam the phone down, then a bottle shattering, his foot steps found their way to me.

“Everything good, rockstar?” I asked, hopping up on the counter and taking a sip of my glass of wine.

“Everything is not all good.” He said, coming over to me and taking my glass before chugging it. He handed it back to me as I stared into the empty glass.

“They want us to leave for rehab already, starting tomorrow. I…I that’s too soon…i…can’t go.” He said, as he searched in a cookie jar and brought out a baggie of white powder. And I don’t think it was flour.

“Nik….just, you need to go to rehab.” I said, hopping off the counter, “I thought we got it all out…” I said quietly as I watched him dump some on the kitchen bar.

“You said heroin, not blow, it’s fine.” He smirked, as he cut a few lines, “If I have to go to rehab tomorrow, then I’m going out with a bang.” I scoffed at his words.

I grabbed a cup of water and dumped it across the counter, “Van! What the fuck!!” He yelled, trying to get the dry bits away from the water. While he was distracted, I snatched the rest of the baggie away from him.

“No! Give it back to me! Now!” He shouted, reaching out for it but I kept it behind my back, “No! You’re done! You get high on blow and then you’ll go looking for junk!! I know your routine, Nikki! And I’m not fucking doing it! You are going to rehab tomorrow!” I argued back.

“Oh fuck off! Give me my fucking drugs, now!!” I shook my head , “They can’t take me to rehab if I’m not here!” He yelled, grabbing the keys to his car.

“Baby, please don’t do this.” My voice was soft as he started walking to the front door, “You need to go to rehab and you need to get better.” I spoke as he threw the keys down on the couch.

“And what if I can’t!? What If I’m just gonna be a junkie for the rest of my life? I don’t know how to do this without heroin, it’s been with me for so long now….since fucking Razzle.” Nikki opened up as he sat down on the couch.

“You’ll get better, you’ll learn to live without it as much as you might hate it at first…” I explained to him, as I sat down on the couch with him.

“What if I can’t live without it, Van…I’ve only ever gone two weeks without it.” I sighed, running my fingers through his hair as he leaned back into the couch.

“I’m dying to see what a life with sober Nikki would be like.” I teased him as he tilted his head to look at me, “Are you now?” He asked, a loose smile appearing.

“You’ll stay by my side when I’m going through this?” He questioned, “Of course, babe. I’ll always have your back.” He nodded as he kissed the side of my cheek.

“I love you.” His eyes were big as he stared at me. His deep honey eyes were a lighter shade, usually they’re dark, cold and uninviting. They were warm; full of love and hope. I ran my hand across his jaw, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I love you too.”

#the dirt #the dirt imagine #the dirt fanfiction #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue imagine #nikki sixx #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx fanfiction #douglas booth! nikki sixx #douglas booth! nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x o/c #fanfiction #rocknroll #1980s #writing

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tarithenurse · 5 years

Text

New Years Eve

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Avenger!Reader Content: Pining, fluff, lemons. Don’t read if you’re not old enough. A/N: Refound the draft for this which I must have started back in December 2017. Thought it was about time to finish it...even if it’s not really NY Eve soon. And still...didn’t do proper proof reading. Sorry.

”The party of the year”, had been the way Tony described it when he secured your attendance for his New Years bash more than two months ago. Since then, you’d only heard rumours about the plans, and you’d been too preoccupied about getting through your solo-mission to spare a thought. That’s why you’d more than happily accepted when Wanda and Natasha had offered to sort whatever was needed that night.

Leaning back in the car seat, you really hope your two friends and co-Avengers have kept their end of the promise, whatever it might entail. No texts or calls have come your way which had been rather relaxing. For a while. Now not so much. Both Wanda and Nat are perfectly capable of being reasonable adult with common sense, but sometimes they end up in a mood where they wind each other up. Add Clint to the mix and the result will be disastrous, yet brilliant, pranking. For all you know, you might be on the way back to a cellophane covered room and a New Year’s outfit suitable for disguising the wearer as a flamingo.

...

Even after very careful inspection of your rooms, you’ve not been able to find any pranks lurking. And the outfit? It couldn’t have been better which is good because a few hours from arrival to party-start wouldn’t have left you with a whole lot of option. Why not re-use a dress or something? That’s what you normally would, but in usual Stark style the party has to be themed and this time it’s “animals” – hence the worry about the flamingo. But you’re in luck and the outfit is perfect.

More than perfect, you admit to yourself as you smooth a hand over the tightfitting number you’ve wriggled into. Tiny, faux scales in an oily-black shade is covering your body, only broken by the plunging cleavage and daring slit at along the thigh and a series of red accents that shimmer like fire across you chest and hips. Unfortunately, it does little to steel your nerves. It’s too…too…little! You feel exposed, naked.

A knock on the door barely precedes Natasha and Wanda who come barging in. They’re ready to go (one as a tiger and the other representing her alias’ namesake) and are here to put the last touches to their plan.

…

“I feel…like someone else!”

The woman staring back at you from the mirror is perfect. Dark makeup compliments the outfit (normally you’d only go as wild as mascara), and the usually unruly hair has been tamed into a surprisingly long, sleek braid that on its own looks like the snake you symbolize.

“You don’t like it?” Wanda cocks her head, causing the plushy tiger-ears to wobble endearingly.

You frown at the mirror. “I…I do! It’s just so…not how I normally look…” Do you? “That there,” you gesture helplessly, “she’s…I mean…hot and I’m not.”

“Jeez, good thing we got you sorted then.” Natasha’s adjusting the red/black corset one last time but spares a glance in your direction. “It’s about time you see what everyone else sees.”

Everyone? There’s no room in your head to consider the possible implications of that, so you try to ignore the hot bubble of nerves in your stomach. It’s just Nat and Wanda saying it. They’re your friends. Supportive, sweet, honest…but not objective. Hell, you wouldn’t be surprised if a couple of the guys would claim you were pretty either. Like Tony, he compliments anyone he meets on their outfits or whatnot (even if there’s nothing new about it), and Thor and Steve are the biggest sweetheart although one is quiet and the other is boisterous about it. Yeah, but what about Sam. And there you go, thinking exactly what you didn’t want to.

Sam used to be your friend. A buddy you hung out with and who showed you the ropes when you joined the Avengers. You still try to do that, but each moment around him is close to painful because you don’t see him as a casual friend anymore. You should because that’s what you guys are…but it’s not enough. What you feel for him is so much more. Trusting him with your life would be the easiest thing. And there’s no limit to what you’d do for him both in the field and outside to make sure he is safe and happy. Fuck.

“Hey! Viper, where you at?” Nat’s voice reaches through the swirling thoughts.

Both ladies are waiting at the open door, ready to head out. Mumbling an apology, you hurry after them, hoping they don’t notice your quickened breath and pulse.

“Why a black snake?” Standing in the elevator, it’s only now that it strikes you as odd. “I mean…as Viper it would make sense to use that for the animal tonight.”

“People might get suspicious,” Wanda shrugs, busy inspecting her nails.

Nat’s busy looking for something in her tiny purse but manages to talk past a thin knife: “Bwe’ide, ‘omeone elwe claimed it.”

…

You’d been lucky that there already were plenty people at the venue, meaning you could snake in between the other guests and head straight for the bar (ditching your friends at the same time).

“Gin ‘n tonic, please.”

Waiting for the drink, you look around the place. It’s busy, both at the bar running the length of the ball room, but also at the place in general. Hundreds of people are milling about, snatching canapés from trays carried by various birds (not actual birds, but waiters dressed as flamingos, cranes and so on). Huge tables with champagne pyramids is the only “classic” New Year’s theme while the place has been invaded by what appears to be an entire jungle. Lush green plants and exotic flowers create section in the large area while trees and hanging plants mingle above the heads of the guests, infiltrating the chandeliers to the point where you don’t think they will ever get free again.

“There y’are!” Nat’s smoky voice curls around you together with your arm. “Found the others by the palm trees. Steve’s a cat with yarn and all.”

It’s impossible not to take than bait, so you let her lead the way as soon as you got the cool drink in hand. They’re a sight to behold. Not just Steve the Kitten, but also Tony the Unicorn (sporting a long horn with which he attempts to skewer hors d’oeuvres when Pepper the Peacock isn’t looking) and well, probably everyone, but of course your mind is being silly and making sure to get stuck on the sight of the one person you shouldn’t watch.

Hot damn. Green scales glitter in the light as they adorn Sam’s suit, making it looks as if a viper’s curling around his body in a way you wouldn’t mind mimicking. No! I shouldn’t think that. At least he hasn’t noticed you because he’s too busy examining the rear end of Tony.

“You installed cooling?” His warm voice muffled by the fake tail hanging down.

“Wha’?! He’s got air-con?!” An edge of betrayal is powering Rhodes’ disbelief. “Man, you said I couldn’t get my exo cooled!” Hurrying over to take a look through Stark’s rear, he pushes Sam aside.

“Hey! Wa–” But Sam never gets further.

His eyes are scorching your skin but it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking. Out of sheer nervousness, you fidget with the metal straw in the drink, almost inhaling the clear liquid. Suddenly, the dress is too revealing, causing your guts to clench in a desperate plea for hiding, but the moment you try to move to get a bit behind Nat and Bucky, you feel the air breeze through the slit. Shit. Heat is rushing through your body.

“You’re looking good.” It’s Steve. “Like what Wanda and Nat have done, sticking with the venomous snake theme.” His friendly chuckle helps you soften up a bit as memories of your old life flashes by.

Growing up in the slums in the biggest city in South America had taught you a lot – even more so during the hardest periods where you stole away to survive in the jungle instead, figuring it was safer than being near the gangs and drug cartels. In hindsight, neither option could’ve been considered safe, but that was at least you learned enough to eventually take up the fight. Try to protect innocent people from the violent crime lords. That’s how you’d gotten onto the Avengers’ radar. Why they came to capture you. It was a good thing Clint had been there on that trip because he convinced the others to bring you back.

“Thanks. Feels odd not to wear something more…practical.”

A broad smile flashes. “I get it. Penguin suits are fine, but they aren’t made for moving.”

“That too.” Need to get away. “’Scuse me.”

Slipping away between the myriad of guests, you circle the room once while pretending to admire the decorations. In reality, you’re scoping the place for quiet corners and easy escape routes. But soon enough your feet are carrying you back to the bar for a refill. From there it’s possible to see most of the room…including the random flashes of a familiar green. My colour.

…

How can it not be near midnight?! It’s never been this awkward hanging out with the team. Sure, the chatting and fun is still going on…it’s just you that finds it hard to feel comfortable in your own skin as long as your near Sam. You’d tried talking to him, pretending everything’s fine. Normal. No unrequited love tearing you up from the inside, making it feel like someone has dripped your old venoms straight into your heart.

So you try to spend your time on the dance floor where no one expects you to carry on a conversation as you can lose yourself in the rhythms. Otherwise it’s the bar that calls, luring you with cold G&Ts until your head is buzzing comfortably. Not drunk…because you never know what can happen. 4th of July was bad, you remember, pushing the ice cubes around in the tall glass.

A delicate but strong hand clamps onto your shoulder, startling you.

“Relax, hon, just me.” The redhead takes a seat beside you. “Do you want me to ask or are you just gonna talk?”

“’Bout what?”

You don’t even have to look at her to know she’s rolling the eyes. “Why you moping.”

“Oh.” The straw clinks against your teeth. She’s bluffing. “Ask away. Doesn’t mean I got anything to tell.”

Somehow managing not to spill the martini, Nat whips around to face you. “Right, of course not. ‘Cause it’s not like you’ve been harbouring a huge crush on a special gentleman.” Your glare doesn’t discourage her. “Maybe you should consider why the viper was taken so quickly.” And with that she floats away, drink in one hand and hips swaying elegantly to the music.

…

Dancing with Steve is an interesting experience: as physically gifted as he may be, this is one thing he has a hard time getting the hang on although he does his best to follow your instructions while both of you are grinning like fools, the ending of the song still brings a certain relief. Until you turn around straight into Sam’s arms. For a second, he seems just as baffled as you do, but then his trademark crooked grin lights up his face.

“Guess there’s no way about it now…wanna dance?” A warm hand is already skimming along your hip although the other waits for your decision.

It’s odd how perfectly his fingers fit around yours, how his arms seem to create a bubble of calmness that seeps into you until your breath is even and your heartbeat follows an unheard rhythm. Fingers with blood-red nails slither across venomous-green faux scales until coming to a rest on Sam’s shoulder.

“Didn’t know you liked that colour.” It looks amazing on him. “You should use it in your uniform.”

They’re playing an old Frank Sinatra song that you’ve heard a million times, allowing your brain to switch off and Sam to lead you effortlessly.

“I’ve thought about it…didn’t wanna to steal from you, tho’.”

He twirls you in his arms before dipping you, causing your heart to pound rapidly against the ribs so hard he might hear it (especially considering how close to your cleavage his ear is). Not like you haven’t stolen anything already.

“Oh, is that so?” Pulling you back up, chest against chest, it’s evident that you must have spoken your thoughts. “What’d I steal, babe?”

Babe. Sure, he’s used nicknames before. He’s the master of thinking up witty monikers for everyone on the team and failing that there’s always the classical endearments which he freely uses for everyone. This time, though, it’s spoken in a soft purr that makes it sound anything like the usual banter. You can’t take your eyes off him as your try to kick your brain back into action. A quick sweep of the tongue to get your mouth working brings back the taste of lipstick and G&T, brings Sam’s focus onto the red colour adorning your lips and his eyes darken momentarily.

Maybe you should consider why the viper was taken so quickly. Nat’s words echo in your mind and small details that you’ve never really given much thought start to fall into place. The way Sam always makes sure there’s a spot on the couch on movie nights, or how he somehow checks in a bit more frequently on missions than with the others. He even knows how you like your tea and coffee, despite the fact that you aren’t sure yourself.

“Sam…” you bite your bottom lip, still nervous.

“[Y/N]?”

Somewhere outside the bubble he’s created, the music is still playing, and people are getting closer to the new year, but inside, it’s just the two of you standing closer than humanly possible, allowing your lips to brush easily over his. Maybe the soft sigh is from him, it doesn’t matter. Just the fact that he recaptures your lips to deepen the kiss is important. His hand travels up the back to cradle your neck, the other arm drawing you closer.

…

The party is far away across town when the new year approaches. Clothes are discarded around the familiar room as Sam looks at you from under heavy lips. His hand is resting on your head that bobs slowly in unison with your hand. Each time the tip of your tongue twirls around the crown of his cock he hums in approval and you can feel his muscles work under the free hand you’re supporting yourself with partially.

His erection twitches as moans become groans, maybe spurred on at the quiet laughter you can’t hold back. It’s exhilarating to have such power over him, but next moment it’s gone as he pulls your away. Sam’s got you on your back quicker than you’d anticipated, lips trailing hot over the goosebumps covering your body and then…then he’s the one in control as mouth, tongue and fingers play you like an instrument, coaxing sounds from you that increasingly sound like his name. Sound like begging.

Your limbs are shaking when he pulls you onto his lap. Hands on your hips, the gorgeous man allows you to set the pace after he has aligned the throbbing cock with your wet core, and as you finally glide down the shaft, as he fills you up more than anyone has before, both of you cling on.

Open mouths breathing hard. Sweat glistening on skin. Moans. Strangled cries of pleasure. Partially suspended above your arching body, your name tumbles from Sam’s lips while his hips rock into you. Harder, faster. Your legs are on the verge of cramping from the iron hold around his waist, ankles locking behind his backs while your nails are digging into his shoulder blades.

Outside the window, fireworks light up the night sky, their explosions nearly drowned out by his name as you both tumble over the edge and into the hazy sea of bliss.

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