#hell in a handbasket

[thearchivaljinglebeast]

This makes me feel ill. I want to speak violence, but I'm sure I'll get censored...🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

[birdsaretoddlers]

Hello I think it would be EXTREMELY funny if Alastor’s mother knew already and he went through all of this for nothing. And she bugged him about finding a boyfriend until he got so fed up he just admitted that actually he killed and ate people sorry

don't worry bestie I will take this in only the funniest direction

[blue-velvet-valentina]

The world is so upside down, I just sometimes feel like I wanna go to sleep and never awake up.

[birdsaretoddlers]

Jesus Christ

JESUS CHRIST

THAT WAS HILARIOUS

AWESOME

i was in the car while reading your new fic AND I COULDNT LAUGH CUZ THERE WAS MY DAD BUT GOD HOW I WANTED TO

i still can't stop smiling my cheeks hurt

after Alastor's last line my brain immidiatly imaged that before he said that (and while he was thinking what to say) he stared at Angel for a moment haha. my brain is so silly

💖

THERE WERE LIKE 80 OTHER THINGS HE COULD HAVE SAID IN THAT MOMENT AND HE MANAGED TO PICK THE W O R S T LIE OUT OF THE BUNCH

[ronearoundblindly]

hellloooooo :) fic title: guilty as sin?

thank yew

Oh man, you're gonna hit me with a whammy like that just before bed?? Ahhhh. I can't. I cannot sleep now!

From this ask game. Warnings for smutty thots and it's unhinged but not super graphic, y'all. MINORS DNI. This post is not for you.

sorta stucky x reader, virgin!Steve x fiancée!reader

Obviously, Bucky is his best friend, and Steve can talk to him about anything, right? So good ol' Catholic boy Stevie has found the one, you, and he's waiting for marriage to seal the deal.

But...he's getting more and more anxious about it.

He's subtly trying to ask Bucky questions--tips, really, because Steve totally understand how to have sex--while simultaneously getting so much hornier with each passing day. Buck is trying to help, like he's supposed to as a best friend, like he always has helped Steve.

"Why don't you just show me?" Steve blurts when Bucky explains yet another position and felling and movement he just can't comprehend.

Well, Steve's saved himself this long; he's not going to some prostitute or going to make Bucky do that, so there's no other option really, nothing for it, except to learn on you...with Bucky.

Turns out since you've been dating Steve for a while, you also have gone without for a significant period of time, and getting back on that saddle without the pressure of making the first time perfect--not hella awkward, possibly painful--sounds like a solid plan to you. Plus Bucky is a great guy who you trust to be respectful of both you and Steve's wishes. He can handle the situation. He can do it without judgment.

Hell, maybe you won't really need to outright fuck him before Steve says he's seen enough and be ready when the time is right.

Yeah, so, nope, that's not how that shakes out because Steve likes the watching part, and he may not be the one penetrating you but he's right there letting his own hot breath roll over your body, whispering how this whole thing makes you so beautiful, a piece of living art, and checking what feels best of all the stuff Bucky's doing.

LAWD, halp us, he kinky.

Not a sin though, not for Steve, and he's perfectly fine on your wedding night because Bucky's standing nearby to coach him. The guilt, however, is exactly what makes Steve fine with it. In for a penny. In for a pounding.

A/N: What?! 🫣😲

[Main Masterlist; Fic Title Only Asks; Steve Rogers One-Shots]

[writeshite]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEE I need to see a Cowboy! Reader x Eddie/Vemon scenario. PLEASE you dont understand my obsession with this, Venom fancying Reader's hat and boots, while eddie is just getting the pounding of his life being held up by readers lariat rope (that is definitely going to leave rope burns, arguably worth it) PLEASE IM LITERALLY BEGGING YOU, Eddie and Venom definitely laugh at Reader's southern accent asking him to pronounce different things only to burst into laughter...

(also venom def ate readers horse as an excuse for him to stay)

“Your hat and boots are cool,” Venom complimented you, affectionately licking your cheek.

“If you like, I can get you your own pair, darlin’,” you chuckle, “little devil like you deserves something pretty.”

Eddie struggled, miffed at the casual conversation happening as he was filled on both ends, his body hogtied, and the rope burns no doubt well set; Venom had shut up his whining with a thick tendril right down his throat. You’d had yet to tire out and still had a lot of energy to work off. "What's the matter there, Eddie?"

He whimpered in response, choking on Venom, you patted his cheek with a smile and carried on fucking him without a care in the world.

[royalshadowhunter]

Watching Colin propose:

Watching the teaser for the next four episodes:

[murfpersonalblog]

Castlevania Nocturne, Season 2

Abbot Emmanuel Renard: Maria, I never wanted to hurt you! I only wanted to protect the kingdom of God! Juste Belmont: Maria, this isn't what your mother wants! Maria Renard: How do YOU know what my mother wants!? Juste: She sent me here to stop you. Maria: WHY? Juste: Because you're good, Maria! Your power is a force for good in the world, not for killing stupid old men! Maria: Most of what's bad in the world is because of STUPID. OLD. MEN!

-- Castlevania Nocturne 2x4: "Monstrous Things"

[gramarobin]

Courtesy of @kcg69

[frnkiebby]

yeah…so uh…..the braincells have exited stage right…~🎃

[respectthepetty]

Gentle reminder

Top absolutely knows who knows.

When my fellow sluts finally put their braincells together . . .

Nicolas, my #2, my rookie, my good ass country song - I'm giving you one episode to be in your feelings, two tops, because we have other shit to deal with.

Way bigger shit.

Put on your big girl panties. Shit's about to get rough.

[birdsaretoddlers]

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!!!!

Fanart for To Hell in a Hand-Basketcase by @birdsaretoddlers, in which Alastor’s mother is confused as to why her son is in Hell and he needs an in-the moment explanation that isn’t ’I killed and ate people’.

[thearchivaljinglebeast]

Donald "Krasnov" Trump???

[birdsaretoddlers]

That new fic you posted is so funny i'm going insane. It's legitamly so funny and really well written!! thank you for posting it and i hope you have a great day!

i wrote it from midnight to 4am so i really think that adds to the hilarity of it all tbh