#hellagas

[hellagas]

Gf:*taps my shoulder at 4am* Are you up?

Me:*rolls over* hm?

Gf: Remember that one episode of SpongeBob where SpongeBob and Patrick were arguing about who’s Dirty Dan and Spongebob called Patrick Pinhead Larry and Patrick's face got really small?

Me: The fuck? I mean, yea?

Gf: That was funny. *goes to sleep*

[hellagas]

Maybe next time you’ll listen to WebMD

[hellagas]

Happy holidays and all that good shit haha. But listen, I gotta ask you a favour. A real big fucking favour.

Nah, miss me with that shit

[hellagas]

They told me to think of my friends and burn letters. I did the opposite. I burnt my friends and thought of their letters (laughs)

Grandma

[hellagas]

First of all... that’s fully gas. HELLA gas.

[hellagas]

How can anyone even be THIS broke?

[hellagas]

You either like pineapple on pizza, or you’re wrong. But what about pizza on pineapple?

[hellagas]

Halloween is coming

K: Soooo..Halloween's coming up!

Me: . . .yea.

K: What are you gonna be~?

Me: Working.

[hellagas]

No shit post, I just miss my mother.

Be easy, everybody.

[hellagas]

“What kind of phone do you have?”

“Oh! I’ve got the iPhone XS Max Product Red Supreme Declaration of Indepence Deluxe.”

“Cool. I’ve got a Pixel.”

[hellagas]

Ah, a pleasant walk through the park on a Saturday morning. Beautifully littered cans and bags of crisps, the poignant aroma of every strain of weed one could imagine, and the ever graceful crackhead shooting up in full veiw on the stairs. That's gas.. hellagas

[hellagas]

How mad is it to think that you're walking through an amusement park and someone you don't notice is staring at you because they find you incredibly attractive. Think about that one

[hellagas]

Customer Service be like...

Customer Service: Thank you for calling, how can we help?

Me: Yes, hi, I actually need some help sorting out a payment issue.

CS: I'm sorry, we're currently experiencing a large volume of calls. Please try your call again in two hours.

Me: Wait, what...

CS: *click*

[hellagas]

D: Ewww my leg got wet!

C: With what, garbage juice?

D: Yes!

C: Haha, you're a garbage girl.

D: Shut up, you're adopted.

[hellagas]

when you turn 18