#hi im p much dead online rn

[rosebushsystem]

🕳🎤🎹

🕳- Do you ever lose time? If so, how does it affect your life?

I always *think* i dont lose time, until i try and remember things other people are talking about me having been a part of, and having zero recollection of ever doing those things. So, maybe? I don’t really ever have a sudden amnesia moment, especially as typically my switches very are fluid and we rarely notice we’ve switched until it’s like, obvious and right there that a new person is fronting. So i wouldn’t say it impacts our lives too much!

🎤- Do you feel comfortable talking about your DID?

I feel fairly comfortable talking about it online, especially as pretty much everyone rattling around in the body is an oversharer, so we always jump on the opportunity to talk about ourselves.

However, it’s a completely different story irl. I rarely talk about it at all, maybe occasionally making a vague reference to something about it when i’m doing visibly badly because of it, but really irl im very,, closed off when it comes to actually talking about the deeper stuff of my mental health. I make a lot of deflecting jokes, referencing my anxiety, or depression or what have you when my friends inquire about my mental health, both as a way to deflect further probing into everything else, but also as a way to say that, yes i am struggling a ton right now, yes things are bad in my head at the moment, but im joking about it and talking about it would make it worse, ya know? So uh yeah, online, for sure, irl, you’ll have to pry my mental secrets from my cold dead hands :P

🎹- What do you create as a system?

I mean other than trauma, pretty much everyone has some interest in writing, main ones being Sam/Rose (Hi me writing this rn, also the most frequent hosts :P) we all really love stories, but as a consequence we’ve also got quite a lot of book ideas, movie ideas, webcomic ideas, etc etc, but atm we’re focusing on one big story we hope to turn into a book series one day :)

Also, a couple of us sing! Some in our schools choir, but mostly we like making our own songs, either madeup little songs about random things we’re thinking of, but we also think of large more uhh, ballad like songs, which can be a bit annoying when one of us is singing while the rest are trying to focus.

Speaking of music though, we all play piano, and are trying to figure out how to write piano music!

Also also, a few of us like to draw and are trying to get better! (That includes but is not limited to, traditional pencil and paper, digital art, pixel art, voxel art, 3d art, animation, just alllll the 3d art and modelling, etc etc suffice it to say we have tried a looooot of art forms and are making slow progress in all of them :P)

We also want to make custom animations and songs and stories and put em on youtube, like a couple of really cool songwriters have done (Ferry with PAFL, R.I.P with their cool but graphic and terrifying stuff, etc) but that’s a far off hope, we’re not that talented at either yet.

And finally we all are interested in coding and making games and stuff, yet another big hobby floating around and vying for our attention and work :P

Sorry towards the end that sorta just became a list of hobbies lol. Thank you for the ask though!! Have a good day/night :)

[milkie-yoongi]

21 Questions Tag

yay i love these! especially because i cant go anywhere right now so imma try to find more! thank you @honeyvoicehwang for the tag :)

Name: starts w an S. read the about me section on my blog 

Gender: female

Star Sign: pisces !!!! 

Current Time: 1:15 PM

Favorite Artist(s): bts, bap, taeyang, song ji eun, eaeon, any OST artist tbh and theres lots more but im only listing the korean music ones

Favorite Song: sweet night - taehyung its just refreshing and sentimental i dont know how to describer  

Song Stuck in Your Head: this one annoying song song by this lady i dont know that i keep hearing everyone dance to on tik tok because my friend keeps showing me can she stop tanks 

Last Movie You Saw: in theatres? the star wars one, i love D-O i shouldve asked for that remote control robot for birthday i love dumb silly robot

Last Thing You Googled: “reddit” lol im looking for answers for lots of stuff rn

Other Blogs: nothing on here, one blog is enough to keep up with ehe

Main Blog: @milkie-yoongi

Do You Get Asks: i used to, now its rare but people be busy and im not consistently active so i get it, i love asks though please send some in esp at this time in life

Reason For Your URL: lol i don’t even know if there was a real reason behind it, i originally wanted to make a yoongi instagram fanacc but i liked tumblr more so i thought, why not make one there and just see how it does? it was only supposed to be for my personal entertainment and i didnt expect to meet so many wonderful people on here or for it to blow up as quickly as it did when i posted constantly. i didnt expect to be this invested in it either, but here i am today c: . i think i chose “milkie” as the first part of the name because i wanted a pastel/soft theme that was whitish/blueish and yoongi is baby to me and i associate that with that with “milk” and to make it flow better i just added “ie” then of course it was meant to be a yoongi blog so i added yoongi at the end because his name just as it is is beautiful. 

Following: 193

Average Amount of Sleep: when im stressed or have to wake up early its around 5-6.5 hours (kinda like yoon yeh), and if i dont have to wake up early and am not stressed i sleep around 7-10 hours. i feel dead everyday though, how do people have energy? 

Lucky Number: 13! idk, i dont believe in luck but 13 is a cool number and i always liked it! 

Currently Wearing: why do you wanna know? some of these asks make me feel like im being interrogated by the fbi hahaaa but im staying at home today soo a black long sleeve with white small dolphin sillhouetes on the side and sleeves and black leggings. fun right? 

Dream Job: at first i never had one, but now i realized i really want to work from home with my laptop. i dont mind what it is as long as i have fun doing it and that it lines up with my values, and i do have a few ideas regarding this, im not gonna put them out here so no one STEALS. because why work for someone else on someone else’s time when you can thrive the best doing what you like and taking advantage of the technology given? i know its gonna be a long road with lots of trial and error but thats what i really want so i can spend more time on what matters in life later on, like taking care of myself and being with family/friends! aside from online jobs though id love to be a piano teacher/piano accompanist because thats the only thing job wise that gives me joy right now. 

Dream Trips: anywhere with good food :D right now definitely korea, japan, new zealand, the more nature-y islands in hawaii, anywhere in europe, probably more places but i cant think of any right now. also ive only been on an airplane once in my life! 

Favourite Foods: anything with white rice it just makes eating so much easier and enjoyable. meats. seafood like the ones at the restaurants where they give you the bibs which i do not wear and they dump the lobster shrimp and crab and corn all over the table and you can just eat it however you want. 

Play Any Instruments: pianopianoapinaoooapinaooapianoo! i used to play violin too in middle and HS but it made my head and jaw hurt and it was gross to me at the time i could not play in tune and i ate in orchestra class all the time instead of paying attention maybe thats why i got worse as i got older, but thats okay because with pianos you dont need to worry about playing in tune but im tempted to pick the violin up again and maybe even try viola...because violas are better i dont care what violin nerds have to say :P

Tagging:

@smolshooky @jincendio @yosunyoongi @heyitsminyoongi @yoongisugameow @xbabyboysx @cpt-falcon @roseghostly @kpoplittleheadcannon @shin-kun1995 @weezbelyse @blackzwaan-yoongi @minsugas-ass @sunshines-babie @agustkeys

if you see this but arent tagged, feel free to do it anyway! 

[scige-archive]

welcome 2 my twisted mind ex dee ?

PREFERRED NAME — james uwu

PRONOUNS — she/they

AGE — 20

TIMEZONE — est

HOW OFTEN ARE YOU ONLINE? — everyday all day usually hjfdnkmg

HOW DID YOU HEAR OF WATERSHED? — i actually first found lockwood while going through the recommended blogs on mobile when you search up things via it (i think it was ‘new rp’ tht i searched) n then the next i checked they’d gone ovr to watershed n then there were Other Things bt i didnt end up joining until a few weeks or like a month later impulsively n now its been many months n im still here BJDNSKFMG love u guys

DISCORD — sniff #3644 where im also always online

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — musing @svrgcnts​ n my pinterest is ‘big tid’ or offbrandsodapop uuuhh i dont think theres anything else!

MYER-BRIGGS — infp turned istp we call tht character growth

HP HOUSE — i honestly dont know anymore ive gotten all of the houses before bt ive just taken a test n i got slytherin so like :///

ZODIAC — aquarius!

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — not to the point where it dictates who i like / dislike

DO YOU ENJOY ASTROLOGY? — ya im a slut for when things tell me what im supposed to be like bc i dont have a sense of identity

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — uh like 19 bt ive been rping since i was 10

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — early 2018 so actually i might’ve been 18 for a lil bit DJNKFLG

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — listen i’ve had many, many good experiences bt for some reason what came to mind first was a weird owner/slave smut rp tht i stumbled across (never joined bc im ... not like that) n i was just rly baffled by the concept even tho ik its a Thing bc i thought smut rps died out like in 2017 BJDNFKMG

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — i want a fucking capybara

WHAT PET DO YOU GENUINELY CONSIDER GETTING SOMEDAY? — i want a cat even though im rly allergic to them

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — the apocalypse made me brave by girlfriends

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — um probably like ,,, the crucible ,,,

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — god i dont know i’m not hard to please bt i wont lie i also like ... didn’t finish half the books i was supposed to read in high school. of mice & men maybe ... i hated books that didn’t do much n just wrote a whole bunch of nothing even tho i like those books now ... i think bc they were for school ... outside of school i hated the hazelwood n i think that the grisha trilogy is a bit. weak. bt i love six of crows. n also the um. theres this one YA series tht i never read bt i can tell i dont like NJKSMDFFDG

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — schitt’s creek DSJKNFDGF um i’ve also been watching gossip girl a lot & also asoue & also also i just started watching um end of the f***ing world n its very good so ?? i watched the first episode of his dark materials n i liked it n i havent finished looking for alaska bt its also very good

WHAT FILM DID YOU LAST WATCH? DID YOU LIKE IT? — uuuhh i think it was scream tbh ??? and ya it was p swell

FAVOURITE QUOTE — im a slut for anne carson bt i cant name any quotes directly rn i have rocks for brains

LINK TO A VINE / TIK TOK / VIDEO THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this immediately came to mind

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — i used to write outside of rp bt i havent in ages bt when i do its usually like modern magic / urban fantasy / whatevr those kinda elements n abt faeries bc i like faeries

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL LOVE & TRUST — jenna marbles, micarah tewers, and uh ,,, claire frm bon apetit

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — cary elwes ... andrew scott ... anne hathaway ... first three tht came to mind

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no bt david dobrik was in miami and i was NOT and im UPSET bc i want his MONEY

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am not in pain. thats it thats all

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — jeffrey epstein was murdered haha jk thats not a conspiracy theory thats FACTS

ARE ALIENS REAL? — ya sure why not

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — lily’s garden please play im level 1241

PLAY ANY OTHER GAMES? WHICH ONES? — i played all the bioshock games n rly enjoyed them ... deponia the entire series which is still my favorite video game 2 this day

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — i never finished my rewatch of the golden compass bt thats just bc i didnt feel like finishing it uuuh ... i dont know i enjoy things too easily

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — buttons n seashells and rocks and flowers until theyre dead and then i collect dead flowers and then empty glass bottles that look kinda cool and jewelry boxes or tin containers and i used to kiss an index card every time i wore lipstick and kept it, i had over 100 filed away for no reason at all bt i lost them & then i also collect condoms :/

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — i wna learn how 2 make jewelry n like ,,, embroidery bt i know how to embroider i just wanna get back into it n i wna learn like. knowledge. academic stuff too bt im also too lazy and im just a dumb old horse so :/

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian n french n ig spanish too

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — shrek ? austin powers ? princess diaries / elle enchanted ?? halloweentown n all the sequels ??

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — shawn spencer frm psych, veronica mars, penelope garcia frm criminal minds, mike myers’ cat in the hat, dr. evil frm austin powers bt also his son scott evil, scooby doo probably, daria ??? i relate to my dog bodhi :/ puddles the clown

IS THERE ANY MEDIA (BOOK/MOVIE/GAME/TV SHOW) YOU FEEL CHANGED YOU IN SOME WAY? — six of crows / fleabag / deponia theyve all made me cry before bt like. continuously cry.

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no.

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — um. redacted

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — big fish directed by tim burton go stare at danny devito’s bare ass do it do it do it i never even finished the movie i dont think BJNSKDMLFG

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? (IF NOT APPLICABLE, WHO DO YOU LIKE MOST IN THE TWILIGHT SERIES) — edward

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — um thts rly hard bc i dont know bt i have a ticket so let me just check ,,, the joker i went n saw the joker

DO YOU STILL READ FOR FUN? — occasionally bt i dont have motivation so

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — n/a BDKFJ

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 5 bt thats just bc im not feeling gr8 today

[xuomi]

thraina and varrosh are just 👌

[pastelvirgil]

Hi hey how are you doing? Um just wanted to say that you’re a really amazing human being and you’re very loved and appreciated! Thank you for being you :) —❤️

heyo!! yeah ive been p dead on this blog lately big f

tldr; a) hyperfixations--sometimes, they just. shift. its always been like that for me, even before i was officially diagnosed w/adhd lmaoooo (im p much usually/always “”active”” on my official main (riverblujay) and my current hyperfixation is like. polygon/unraveled/bdg so my blog for that is @notorious-bdg if that’s ur jam)

b) i am!! v busy with work rn can i get another f in the chat lads (for real tho--i do food service and am also night shift which means i am not online anywhere from 2pm or 3pm est to like, midnight, depending on when my shift ends. five nights a week. 

also also i am currently training to be a (closing) manager now?? so thats going to start taking up some more time too rip)

c) i have not actually watched dwit yet cause i just. cannot find the mental energy yet to devote the better part of/more than an hour to watching a new vid (this point is linked to point a, tbh). like, even when my hyperfixation hadnt completely shifted to polygon stuff, it was A Lot for me to actually watch svs and even then i have not rewatched it since. so.)

d) i am going to try to eventually get around to my unfinished fics, bc i /do/ feel pretty bad about leaving everyone hanging. ill get back to them when i can, esp ahau and sightless verse, hopefully. tbh the one that is more likely to get finished than anything is pigcc simply bc i did have more planning for that one done than any other ones honestly

ik this was probably an unnecessarily long answer but ty for ur ask!! ur an amazing human too, anon!!!

[its-money8]

This Samurai Jack debacle about the forced romance and unhealthy power dynamic got me thinking about the romantic subplot I had planned in Bill Death. I’m gonna just dump some thoughts here and it’s gonna get a long and rambly so I’m gonna put it under a read more. (If for some reason you dont want spoilers for something that’ll prob never happen, dont click)

So straight up, first point to get out of the way is that I started coming up with ideas for the show when I was like 14 and way less socially conscious. The main love interest, Kiki, was originally straight up designed as waifu bait. A shy, socially anxious hikikomori zombie who hadn’t left her apartment p much since she ended up in the Land of the Dead who Bill would approach as their apartments were nearby and Kiki had a reputation as that weirdo who never left her apartment and he would be like “I can help her out!” or whatever and they’d fall in love and she’d eventually leave her apartment etc. God, writing it all out rn, it was BAD.

Eventually I realized this, and started coming from it from another angle: What if a big theme of Bill’s character arc was realizing that the desire to be the hero solely because you deep down crave recognition and to be relied upon is bad and unhealthy? I ended up writing the movie script (a movie that i planned to take place before the last season of the show. Yes it was a feature length 110 pg script. No i dont know why i did all this for something that has a near zero percent chance of ever coming to fruition) with this as the main theme, Kiki chewing him out over it near the beginning of the movie and revealing that everyone else who ever related to her only did so to become the one who “fixed” her and got her out of her apartment, that she resented that and thought Bill was different, etc. They fall out, and Bill p much goes into denial about his problems, this becoming the big source of his character conflict the rest of the movie. Anyways long story short Bill recognizes the errors of his ways, that’s good right?

My problem now is looking back, idk if this is just a bandaid over the problem. See, Kiki essentially goes into a depressive spiral after her and Bill fall out, and ends up regretting it. I’m afraid this ends up making the dynamic back to square one, as characterwise im not sure she’d accept him back near the end of the movie if she wasnt in such a low emotional state. I did try to make it clear that their relationship wasn’t straight up fixed but on the roard to recovery (a big part of the reason why she got so upset was because she was expecting Bill to ask about starting a relationship, when he instead started pushing leaving the apartment she felt betrayed. One of the last lines of the film is her telling him that she’s “just not sure she can love him yet” which he responds to with “That’s alright. We’ll figure this out. Together.”) but still. I think i still need to give Kiki more ways to express agency in her overall character arc. I was planning on her being kinda a subversion, it being revealed that while she craves interaction she can actually take care of her physical needs perfectly fine (has a work from home job online, orders groceries etc online, etc) and kinda turning Bill’s initial unhealthy “NEED TO PROTECT” mindset on its head, and that they both help each other out with each other’s problems, but I’m still afraid in the end it’s still wish fulfillment. Idk.

If anyone’s still here after reading this long ass post, input would be really appreciated. It’s complicated to work backwards from a problematic character to one that is fully formed and has good agency while still keeping core aspects of that character intact (esp when one of those aspects physically restrains her within her apartment). Also if anyone wants to look over the movie script to get a better idea of its arcs, go ahead and tell me as well, that’d be hugely appreciated.