#his style of speech is genuinely the exact same accidentally pretentious shit that comes out of my mouth
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Good evening I have just realised that my best friend is dating someone who is basically me but in male form
#no because like. this man is 6’3. brown hair. AND. this is the craziest part. his name is basically the masculine version of my name#i mean it IS the masculine version of my name. you masculinise ‘ellen’ and you get….. well fill in the blank#this man is neurodivergent as all fuck#he reads. he codes. he eats the same thing every night. he has a boring job no one understands. he’s into d&d; sci-fi and fantasy#he doesn’t respond to messages but when he does; he sends essays. doesn’t like seeing people#and the absolute kicker is HE TALKS LIKE ME AND I CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE IIIIT#his style of speech is genuinely the exact same accidentally pretentious shit that comes out of my mouth#he has a big vocabulary and he just uses it without thinking. LIKE ME#HE’S ONE OF ME#why would she do this. where did she even find this man. is she trying to say she’s attracted to me??#listen. physically it’s a yes. would. and obviously i adore her AS A FRIEND#but i couldn’t. i just couldn’t. i know she’s batshit insane in a relationship and i’m waiting for her to drop the other shoe on this guy#plus this isn’t even a question because i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like girls#i also just physically could not. ultimately. i mean i could if i had to to save the world or something#but i’ve known this person for 18 years. it’d feel wrong in a bad way#i think what’s happened is we’ve actually just become house and wilson. so#personal
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