#honestly wanted to take a crack at pre ruin designs

[micerhat]

Spends the rest of the evening whining about tweens weaponizing sheet cake, indecency and wanting comfort cuddles until the uniforms come out of the wash.

“Oh!  The Indignity!  I shall now swoon across your lap and prevent any further work to be done this evening.”

[kbstories]

impression//expression

“It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.”

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, First Impressions, Slice of Life, Character Study

No additional content warnings apply. Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

Kirishima Eijirou had stared at the grin on Bakugou’s face when he pulled the pin in his gauntlet and thought: Holy shit, this guy is insane.

Over multiple screens, a good chunk of Ground β went up in a blast so strong the floor trembled with its aftershocks even here, miles away. Concrete and steel and glass were incinerated in a gust of fire and debris until all that was left was Midoriya’s crumpled form amidst plumes of smoke and Bakugou standing tall in the ruins.

The cameras shorted out once, twice before the image stabilized; the transmission remained silent. There was no sound needed to see how Bakugou’s grin got an edge sharper in the wake of the explosion.

Insane and absolutely deadly.

It wasn’t Kirishima’s first impression of him, per se. Certainly he’d had some sort of reaction to the only name ranked above his own after the Entrance Exams and the total sum of zero rescue points listed beside it. He can even remember the twinge of something in his chest after seeing that infamous quirk in action on day one – be it awe or envy or plain curiosity, that innocent question of How does it work, though? that accompanies most encounters with a new power.

Still: In those first few days, when Kirishima thinks of Bakugou Katsuki, he thinks of the mad glint in his eyes as he went above and beyond in his attempt to murder their classmate (or seriously maim him, at the very least).

In hindsight, having him play the villain was perhaps less coincidence and more fate, given the optics of what could reasonably be described as a shitshow. And, okay, Kirishima knows it’s not exactly fair to judge someone based solely on fleeting observations. His parents taught him better than that. Crimson Riot showed him better than that. It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone.

Endure and overcome, just like any other obstacle looming over the difficult path ahead. Kirishima smiles around the pencil he’s chewing on as Aizawa drones on, eyes trained on the uniquely tense set of shoulders across the room.

Yeah. Bakugou won’t even stand a chance.

*

It takes many cold shoulders, rebuffed lunch invitations and countless glares – and a villainous intervention Kirishima could’ve honestly lived without – for a rough voice to say:

“You there. Shark Teeth.”

The sun is starting to peek into the room as it hangs low and lazy in the sky. Class 1-A has just been released into a well-deserved weekend: Kirishima is very much aware his mothers want him home as fast as possible after what happened at U.S.J., and he’s throwing his things into his bag at peak velocity. Only after a tap on his shoulder and a subtle nod from Sero does he register it’s him Bakugou is talking to.

Perhaps ‘growling at’ would be a better description, but… semantics. Kirishima throws the guy a look and a smile over his shoulder either way, “Hey! What’s up, man?”, and given Bakugou’s eyes only narrow a little, he’s about 70% sure he’s not done something to land on his shit list.

Yet.

All Bakugou does is direct a decidedly less neutral look towards Sero, who jolts and stumbles over a quick “Um. Gotta– Yup, okay, bye!” before he books it out the classroom. Kirishima watches him go with some bemusement and a muttered “Dude”, not that Bakugou reacts to it in any way.

“Spar with me”, Bakugou says instead – demands, really – and Kirishima feels his brows tick upwards before he can stop himself, hands pausing in his quest to cram his notepad next to his books without wrinkling its cover page too badly.

“Uh. Like, right now? ‘Cause I can’t. Well, I could but I’m about to miss my train as is and I’d have to tell my–”

A slow blink, and even that is threatening when it’s coming from Bakugou. “No, asshole. This weekend, or something. I don’t care.”

Oh. Kirishima blinks. Something about Bakugou approaching him out of his own free will must be causing a substantial lag between different areas of his brain because– Oh.

“Wait. You wanna hang out?”

Maybe he could’ve hidden the clear surprise in his voice a bit better, that emphasis on you that sort of slipped in there without him really wanting it to. Kirishima’s heart sinks at the twitch to Bakugou’s brow that pretty much guarantees whatever he actually meant to say is forever lost to the ire perpetually simmering in that red gaze.

Well, it was nice knowing what going to U.A. is like. At least none of his classmates are present to see Kirishima’s inevitable – if incredibly untimely – demise.

Then Bakugou… rolls his eyes, exhales a harsh tch for good measure. “Whatever.” He shoves his bag further up his shoulder and, without a glance back, walks out the room–

Oh no, you don’t.

Out of all foolish thoughts it’s that one that shoots through Kirishima’s head before he grabs his stuff and goes after him. Bakugou somehow manages to maintain that no-fucks-given air to his gait despite how fast he walks, and Kirishima falls into a light jog to close the gap.

“It’s a great idea, man. Can’t have us going soft over the weekend! Plus Ultra, just like All Might said, right?”

Bakugou gives him a withering glance of a side-eye for his trouble. Kirishima notes the distinct lack of explode-y manslaughter, though, and allows himself to settle right into Bakugou’s pace.

“Besides, it’s been like a week and we’re already having villains crashing our lessons. I mean, we showed ‘em what’s what and all, but still! Some extra training can’t hurt.”

It’s not like Kirishima minds being the one to carry a conversation yet the fact that he hasn’t been told to shut up is… something? Not enough for Kirishima to point out, it’s just a thing he notices, just something, so he keeps talking. Past U.A.’s gates, down the stairs and onto the busy sidewalk they go, and Bakugou’s hands never leave the pockets of his pants as he marches past clusters of people in an unflinching line.

Head held high, eyes dead ahead. Cutting through the crowd with his presence alone, and in his wake Kirishima follows.

The afternoon light is hitting that glow-y hue that paints even the most mundane of things in shades of gold when Kirishima realizes they’re headed to the train station. He draws up short, slows his step in the split-second it takes to ask himself if the other even takes the train home or–

Bakugou’s eyes are on him, “What?”, that one word barked so impatiently Kirishima throws the thought right out the metaphorical window and keeps walking.

“Nothing!” A flash of his home screen proves: Five minutes left. They’re making good time. Which, actually– “So what time were you thinking for our sparring sesh? I’m good whenever, unless it’s super late at night. Overprotective parents, you know how it is.”

That gets a huff out of Bakugou. That, and a gesture that’s sort of a grab, sort of a wave that has Kirishima a little stumped until Bakugou sighs gruffly. “Your phone, dumbass.”

“Oh, sure! Here.”

The device changes hands. Kirishima contemplates feeling embarrassed about the obvious crack that takes up half the screen; he’d designed his hero costume without his delicate tech in mind, and with the whirlwind of starting and then surviving week one of the new school year, he hasn’t been able to spare a minute to get neither the phone fixed nor the costume amended.

Bakugou doesn’t comment on it – in fact, he pulls his sleeve down to hold the thing as if to cushion it, and when he taps the screen it’s with his knuckles. Before Kirishima can ask, the pre-installed voice control AI chirps its distinct jingle and Bakugou tells it to make a new contact, rattling off a long string of numbers.

Even before the AI has confirmed the input, Kirishima is catching the phone chucked rather carelessly at his head. “There”, Bakugou says, starting to climb the stairs to the tracks two steps at a time.

Kirishima doesn’t have much time to process any of that before the telltale rattling of an incoming train sounds above them. “Oh shit”, he breathes, hurrying onto the platform and to the closest door just in time to see the last passenger get out. Once inside, he pumps his fist.

“Hell yeah! Dude, we–”

The person next to him, who is not Bakugou, looks rather startled. What the…? Kirishima turns a full 360 degrees before a knock just inches from his face startles him and he meets Bakugou’s smirk, firmly on the other side of the window.

Not a moment later, the train starts pulling away. Kirishima presses close to the thick, faintly scratched glass to watch Bakugou turn and walk right back where they came from. His hand is raised, the light catching white and glinting on something in his hand.

A phone. Oh, right!

Kirishima swipes across an image of Crimson Riot’s iconic pose to unlock and reads Bakugou Katsuki, having left the tab open in his haste. First things first: With a soft snort and a few swift taps, the name is changed before Kirishima hits the speech bubble icon next to it.

Baku💣💥

bro what the hell (sent 17:14)

but thanks (sent 17:14)

it’s kirishima btw (sent 17:15)

just text me the details whenever 💪🏻 (sent 17:15)

He watches the tick next to his messages turn blue almost immediately and waits. One station passes, then two. By the third Kirishima is sure he’s been left on read and laughs, shaking his head. Of course.

The rest of his way home is spent assuring Sero he has not, in fact, exited life in a flurry of explosions as well as letting his moms know he’ll be home in a few. The next time Kirishima checks his phone is between brushing his teeth and climbing into bed, two unread messages waiting for him.

Baku💣💥

[link] (received 19:35)

6AM tomorrow, don’t be fucking late (received 19:35)

The link leads to a location which his phone matches to a quirk-friendly gym pretty close to the U.A. grounds. Kirishima scrolls through a few images of the facilities with some interest before his brain registers–

6AM. On a Saturday.

Baku💣💥

/dude/ (sent 22:08)

srsly?? (sent 22:09)

😩😩 (sent 22:19)

f @ my sleep schedule but ok (sent 22:25)

Minutes later, Kirishima stares at the near-painful sight of an alarm set to 5AM before he sighs and flops face-down into his pillow. The things he does in the name of friendship.

>>Chapter 2

[perseusjackson-jasongrace]

Ma'am- how dares thou leave us off on a cliffhanger for both Empires on the Horizon and Kingdom Collisions V >:L I demand to know whats going to happen next!! (also take your time to write them lol )

Ah my friend you are right I am sorry for being so rude😭👀here's a Kingdom Collisions update. Please forgive me?🥺

Y’all know the drill by now. This is a fic i’m writing to try incorporate more descriptions into my writing. I do not have pre-written chapters so we’re both lost on what comes next or when the next update will be?! Please enjoy!

masterlist

TW: Suicide mention

Kingdom Collisions VI

Once upon a time in a land known for water and jewels there lived a young boy. He had skin the colour of soil and eyes the colour of oceans and were your gaze to ever fall upon this little figure you knew the earth was created just for him. The boy lived in a white-stone castle, surrounded by guards in clanking silver armour and blue-feathered helmets. Swords gleamed with their newness. They are decoration, a rite of passage. They only reflect the water. Children darted between their legs as they swoppeed shifts and if you looked closely the boy was often one of them. The castle stood proud and tranquil in the kingdom and gave the people hope.

If the white walls stand tall the queen will rise above all. 

A piece of poetry long since washed away.That single line ran through the city streets like rain water. Ran into people's homes, and under the wheels of rumbling cars. Generations had forgotten the poem to time but that line for it's power and rhyme had weathered the changing tides. If you listened closely the trees still knew the words. But nobody ever heard. The world was too busy and the day too new to remember what it was like to become one with evergreens.

Percy Jackson wakes up with a gasp, heart beating like conga drums. His fingers curl into his chest, leaving red marks as he winces sleep away. The world is still pitch black; stars hidden behind a blanket of storms. He wonders if they find comfort wrapped in the clouds. If those white puffs feel as soft as they look. Sleep is faraway, a distant friend stuck at a cold airport terminal. So he drifts to the window, ignoring the wind prickling his skin and sits down at the bench. The chiffon curtains rustle softly, talking to him in a language he hasn't quite yet learned. He knows they're saying something important. They must be if they brush against his legs every few minutes. Everyone is always trying to tell him something important. Something life changing and groundbreaking. He wishes he could pause time for a little while. Stroll through the gardens and into the ocean without anybody running after him.

The curtain drifts towards him again and he sighs as if the universe has made him designated driver. An unwanted, unwilling task.

Somewhere a bird caws and he snorts softly, "Okay, okay. I'm handling it."

He let's the sounds of the wind take him through the endless corridors, let's it carry him like a dying flower, like autumn leaves, like bonfire embers. The stone floor is cold under his bare feet and his body is littered with bumps. He misses the warmth of his castle. Misses the warmth of the hearth in every room and the smell of the sea that drifts in through open windows. Mostly, especially, he misses his mom. There is something distinctly missing from the Castle of Caelum. He hasn't quite put his finger on it but it doesn't feel right.

He doesn't have time to delve into that thought because all at once everything goes quiet. A large door looms before him.

"So this is it huh?" His voice is soft, afraid to disrupt the silence.

Taking a deep breath, filling up his lungs with the air of the Kingdom of Wind, he knocks on the wood. It is gentle and solitary and he's almost certain no-one heard it but his ears perk up anyway. He knows you can't pick up footfalls on stone but it doesn't stop his heart from racing in anticipation. The door opens with a soft click and tired eyes look at him.

"Percy," Jason's voice is raspy with crying and his heart shatters.

"Hey, can I come in?"

The blonde looks at him, brows furrowed and tear stains carved into his cheeks. Percy can see the tiredness in the prince's bones, like x-rays of exhaustion. He's about to say nevermind, about to walk away, walk past his own chambers and into the lifeless night. But the Prince nods once and moves aside.

He feels almost disappointed that he couldn't escape. Disappointed he couldn't just go back and never return. His mother's voice flitters into his head.

When your people are suffering you must lie down with them and ask them to tell you their story.

Why mom?

Because little one when the time comes you will know what to do.

How momma?

We are made of stories little one. We are made of all the things people tell us. Our dreams and hopes and memories are just threads in a tapestry and every person is connected to it.

I don't understand momma?

She smiled at him, perfect white teeth and dark blue eyes: When you think of me little one, what comes to mind?

Ten year old Percy frowned, Chocolate chip cookies, and your bedtime tales, and the beach, and hugs.

And what do you think about Grover?

Percy's green eyes had lit up like the sun: Play time and movies and ice-cream!

She laughed: And what about Dad?

His little brows furrowed: Fancy clothes and swords and paper and cuddles.

And Princess Piper?

His nose scrunched up: Cooties! He squealed and then he was running around the room; the world a flowing river, him a little fish learning its current.

You see little one, you didn't think about bones or skin or blood. You thought of memories and stories. Do you understand now?

He nodded as he scrambled into her lap: I think so momma. So if my people tell me who they are I can use their stories to help them when they're sore?

Almost little one. Half of hurt is because nobody listens. If you just listen to what your people are saying they will not hurt so much.

Is that because we have to tell our stories momma?

"Exactly. That is how we live. And live on."

Prince Perseus Jackson takes a deep breath and steps into the room. Immediately he can feel the icy wind, so much colder up here, stinging his bare arms, chest, legs. Save for the small silk boxers covering his most sensitive parts his body is exposed to the brutal temperatures and he cannot hide a shiver as he settles on the couch. The fire has died long ago, maybe not even put on for the night, if the grey ashes and lack of heat are indication enough.

"What are you doing here?" The blonde prince looks at him.

"The curtains told me to come."

"What?" He can hear the confusion, but more than that the weight of a thousand heartaches.

He wonders if every person who has their heartbroken feels like they're the first to ever go through it. If that feeling is so perfectly human it feels unique and special to each one.

"Sometimes the world talks to me and sometimes I listen."

"I don't really know what game you're playing but I'm not in the mood so if it isn't an emergency," Those eyes are ice blue, "And I honestly wouldn't care even if it was, please get out."

"I cannot." He shrugs and pulls a velvet blanket over him.

"I'd appreciate," Jason's teeth grit, "If you respected my boundaries enough to leave. I am not in the mood."

"The window is open, there is paper sitting on the desk and many crumpled pieces on the floor, and I can see you haven't even sat on your bed, never-mind slept in it. What do you plan to do Grace?"

"You know what." That voice is hard, malicious with fear, pain.

"I will not leave. And you will not either. You can sit there on your bed hating me till the sun graces us once more. You can punch me until I am the same colour as the dusk but I am not leaving."

"I hate you. Leave me alone." He can hear the tears hit the cold stone. He doesn't react. A shadow blocks the moonlight finally peaking through the clouds.

"I said leave me the fuck alone!"

"I cannot do that Prince."

"Don’t call me that." He snaps, pushing his face into Percy's, "Go away! I want to be alone."

"I can't Jason,"

"JUST LEAVE!" Golden fists pound at his chest, droplets of salt soaking into his skin, as if trying to wash away the bruising.

He grabs his husband's hands gently and pulls him to the couch.

"I'm not going to leave you."

"They all left." Jason gasps, "They left. HE LEFT!"

The scream draws blood from his ears, pulls oxygen from his veins.

"I'm here. I'm not leaving. I am here."

"Please," Sobs wrack that broken body, and Percy can feel the first cracks in a kingdom. "Please don't leave me. Please, please please."

He rubs his hand over a shaking back and mutters over and over again, "I will not leave you."

Prince Jason Grace cries a new ocean and he names it after the fire that caused it. When the sun peaks over the horizon, fracturing a wall of crystal, and attempting to warm those cold grey stones, Percy Jackson takes his husband to bed and ignores the fissures running under his feet.

Once upon a time in a kingdom known for storms and gold there lived a little boy. He had eyes of lightning and skin the colour of sunlight and if you ever caught a glimpse of him you knew only the darkest nights could ever produce something so beautiful. The guards are bathed in riches, weighed down by diamonds cut from dreams and earrings weighted with the pureness of gold. Swords are varied and prized. Bred for fodder. Used at will. He lived in a castle made of grey stone and it loomed over the kingdom like a black cloud. The people looked at it and shied away. For they too had a poem about their crown but they remembered every line. 

Those who fell under the shadow of stone were sure to be left to ruin by their king and cursed forever alone. A young boy with hair spun from starlight is trapped inside. Who will save him if he cannot hide?

Forgetting was a death warrant.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tags (if you want to be added to/ taken off the tag list just let me know, all my channels of communication are open):

@nishlicious-01

@queen-of-demons-and-hell

@leydiangelo

@sparkythunderstorm

@asami-sato-has-never-sinned

[doomonfilm]

Memories : Top 15 Films of 2020

If 2020 taught movie fans anything, it was that we shouldn’t take things for granted.  On the dollars and cents side of things, movie theaters were already facing an uphill battle to stay sustainable, but the “shelter-in-place” practice of March and beyond decimated box office returns, with many theaters yet to reopen (if they will open at all).  In terms of famous names and faces, the list of those who passed away featured numerous icons : Kobe Bryant, Kirk Douglas, Max von Sydow, Honor Blackman, Carl Reiner, Ennio Morricone, John Saxon, Wilford Brimley, Chadwick Boseman, Sean Connery, Tiny Lister Jr., Adolfo ‘Shabba Doo’ Quinones and many more transitioned to the great beyond.  Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Shudder and a number of other streaming services saw themselves step into the forefront of the entertainment provider realm, with Warner Brothers and a handful of other studios making announcements that they will be following suit for at least 2021, if not for good.

With all of this uncertainty and chaos, however, the year 2020 was a surprisingly strong one, in my opinion, when it came to cinematic output... so much so, in fact, that aside from a number of Honorable Mentions, my list of top films was expanded to 15 in order to accommodate all of my choices.  For anyone who has checked out my lists from previous years, you will know that I did not see every film released this year, but I did make my best effort to cover as wide a range of films as possible.  Enjoy the list, and be sure to support film in whatever medium you are able to moving forward so that it can thrive.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The 40-Year-Old Version (dir. Radha Blank) A nice little personal film that spoke to my hip-hop sensibility, as well as that ever-present awareness of the inevitability of age, and how it can skew our perspective in regards to our achievements.

Ava (dir. Tate Taylor) This isn’t the action film that’s going to reinvent the wheel, but if you look at action films like wheels, this is a quality wheel.  Outside of Common, I couldn’t really find much to shoot down... this will definitely be one I consider the next time I have company and we’re looking for something fun to check out.

Bill & Ted Face The Music (dir. Dean Parisot) I honestly would have been satisfied with just two films in this franchise, but surprisingly, a third entry was created that didn’t ruin my overall enjoyment of the previous two films.  Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter jumped in without missing a beat, a healthy dose of familiar faces popped back up, and the new cast additions weren’t too jarring... it’s nice to know that a pair of my favorite childhood films are officially now part of a trilogy.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (dir. Jason Woliner) This was possibly the most surprising release of 2020... outside of a couple of news blips that Sacha Baron Cohen made during production, not a lot about this film was leaked prior to its release.  For such a dated character and a seemingly outdated style of humor, Borat once again exposed the simplest parts of society in an incredibly insightful (albeit cringey as all get-out) manner.

Guns Akimbo (dir. Jason Lei Howden) One of the most fun films of 2020.  Somewhere, the creative minds behind Nerve are wishing that they’d made this film instead. 

Henrietta and Her Dismal Display of Affection (dir. Jeffrey Garcia) Jeffrey Garcia is the homie, and I’ve had the pleasure of being in a number of his short films, so when he announced his intentions to write and shoot a feature film in 2020, I was completely on-board.  Miraculously, he was able to film the movie while the world was being ravaged by COVID-19, and though I cannot publicly announce details yet, this film has definitely already met (and likely succeeded) his expectations.

The Midnight Sky (dir. George Clooney) With each film that George Clooney directs, I realize more and more than he is an old soul trapped in a body idolized by the new school of film.  That being said, it’s nice to know that there are directors out there willing to embrace patient, silent and contemplative moments while simultaneously withholding from force-feeding viewers exposition.  

Tenet (dir. Christopher Nolan) This was possibly the most anticipated release of the year, considering it was the king of the IMAX release crowd in its pre-release promotion.  After a small delay due to COVID-19, it was one of the first films released in hopes of testing the movie-going waters during what was sure to be a diminished period of time, which probably hurt its numbers.  Too many, the film was confusing, and the nit-picking was fierce from the criticism contingency, but in all honesty, this was pretty impressive Nolan fare... certainly a good second movie in a Nolan double feature.

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (dir. Aaron Sorkin) I cannot tell a lie... I was hugely impressed with how Sorkin managed to reel his personality and voice back in order to let this well-known, controversial moment in time present itself.  Sorkin has a tendency to be the star of his films, be it when he is in the writer or director role, but for this film, he managed to focus the best parts of his skillset into a highly respectful, educational and inspiring tale that fit the tumultuous summer we endured.

VHYes (dir. Jack Henry Robbins) I remember seeing this trailer as 2019 was coming to a close, and it was a film high on my list of desired viewing.  Then 2020 reared its ugly, stupid head and many releases disappeared into obscurity or found themselves delayed.  Luckily, this one slipped through the cracks and found a home in the streaming world, which in all honesty, suited its presentation very well.  One of the most delightfully weird films of the year, hands down. 

Vivarium (dir. Lorcan Finnegan) Of all the films cut from my Top 15 list, this was the toughest cut to make.  I went into the film totally blind (with Jesse Eisenberg and my respect for his acting chops being the sole selling point), but this film really hit a lot of my buttons... it’s trippy as can be, there is a character that is freakishly unique and wholly unnerving, and the production design leaves a lasting impression.  Don’t let the Honorable Mention designation fool you... this one is a winner.  

Wonder Woman 1984 (dir. Patty Jenkins) The Christmas gift that the masses collectively decided that they did not want.  Much like Ava, there is one glaring aspect of this film that I could have done without, but otherwise, I found this to be an enjoyable film.  Gal Gadot was made for this role, while Kristen Wiig and Pedro Pascal stepped up to the plate and impressed.  If you’re looking to be blown away, the Wonder Woman franchise isn’t the smartest place to go, but if you’re looking for entertainment, there’s plenty of it here.   

THE TOP 15 FILMS OF 2020

15. Mignonnes (dir. Maïmouna Doucouré) This one started off the year with plenty of controversy.  What was an award-winning tale about womanhood and the difficulties surrounding coming of age in an ever-changing and evolving world quickly devolved into a campaign to ban the film (and Netflix).  Many people overlooked the film as a cautionary tale about what access to the Internet and the sexually-charged nature in which women are portrayed can do to developing girls, instead choosing to accuse the film of being fodder for malicious types seeking to exploit the sexualizing of young women.  More than anything, in my opinion, Mignonnes served as an example of our outrage-fueled culture and the way it tends to skew our perspective and/or our ability to take art at face value.

14. His House (dir. Remi Weekes) As I’ve mentioned many times over the past week or so on this blog, horror films were one of the few genres that found a benefit from the film industry’s transition to streaming services for primary access to film.  While a number of traditional horror films received notice, His House took the opportunity to not only make a pure horror film, but one that spoke on racism and the conditions that asylum-seekers and refugees face.  The film is well-acted, the production value is high quality, and it’s paced beautifully... while not the highest film on this list, it is certainly one I will encourage others to see as time goes by.

13. All Day and a Night (dir. Joe Robert Cole) When human nature reared its ugly head during COVID-19 in the form of numerous race-related killings, multitudes of businesses quickly adopted the Black Lives Matter mantra, with film distributors and streaming services taking advantage of the moment to produce and release content relevant to cultural and social awareness.  Netflix was no different, and of the many films they released in the wake of the harrowing events, All Day and a Night is the one that feels the most sincere and honest in its approach and presentation.  The streets of Oakland are presented with a vast array of characters, each with complex backgrounds and states of mind, all of which helps the viewer understand the pressure many minorities live with and process on a daily basis.

12. She Dies Tomorrow (dir. Amy Seimetz) Execution is king, even when applied to the simplest of premises, and She Dies Tomorrow is a shining example of this.  In a very John Cassavetes move, director Amy Seimetz took her payment from her appearance in Pet Sematary and used it to fund a personal project that more than likely would have been ignored by studio heads.  The result is a hypnotic, entrancing and haunting film where stillness and anticipation play antagonist, while we as viewers feel the need to transpose ourselves into the protagonists we are presented due to their stilted but emotional performances.  Hopefully this one finds some notoriety in the cult classic realm as the years pass.

11. The Vast of Night (dir. Andrew Patterson) For a debut film, The Vast of Night handles itself with a surprising amount of confidence in its vision.  The immersion is nearly instant as we are first placed in the premise of a TV show, and then a 1950′s town, but once the actors and camera get going, it’s up to us as viewers to strap in for the ride.  The story is deeply intriguing, the performances are strong enough to carry a very dialogue heavy movie, and the final act is chilling in its reveals.  I will be surprised if this one finds its way to a Best Original Screenplay nomination due to it being a debut film from a relatively unknown writer/director, but if it manages to get the nomination it will certainly be a well-deserved one.

10. Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (dir. Cathy Yan) The movie that broke the list.  If someone would have told me in 2019 that a film directly connected to Suicide Squad would be anywhere on a Top Films list I curated, I would have laughed dead in their face, and yet, here we are.  It’s like every good idea that was poorly executed in Suicide Squad found new life in Birds of Prey, which makes the film not only an entertaining watch, but a satisfying one.  Not only is Margot Robbie perfect in this film (as well as given a break on the exploitative costuming), but Mary Elizabeth Winstead arguably takes a stab at stealing the show with her performance.  Don’t let the DCEU association fool you... Birds of Prey is the real deal.    

9. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (dir. Eliza Hittman) Probably the most contemplative film on the entire list, and impressive in its nature for sure.  To my knowledge, the cast is made up of mostly unknowns (unless I’m sleeping on actors and actresses, which has been known to happen), and as a result, a tough slice of life to swallow is presented in an extremely grounded nature.  Sidney Flanigan gives a powerful performance, hopefully the first of many.

8. Possessor [Uncut] (dir. Brandon Cronenberg) Easily the most “what the f-ck” film on this list, and certainly one worthy of the Cronenberg name.  Andrea Riseborough has been on my radar since Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) and Mandy, and seeing her in a lead role confirms her talent.  I’m a sucker for science-fiction films that don’t rely on digital effects and elaborate set pieces, and Possessor rings both of those bells with a vengeance.  I watched the uncut version, which has a couple of extremely brutal sequences that will unnerve even the most hardened viewer, but these sequences only serve to drive home the lost nature of Tasya, our protagonist.  This one isn’t for everyone, but for those who can stomach a bit off graphicness and process a narrative that doesn’t spoon-feed you answers, this one is a must see.

7. Da 5 Bloods (dir. Spike Lee) Spike Lee has always been a huge influence on me as both an aspiring filmmaker and a fan of the medium, but I’d be lying if I told you that his last decade was a memorable one.  Outside of BlacKkKlansman, Lee has found himself falling short of his vision more often than not, but Da 5 Bloods is a tonal and stylistic bullseye.  Fans of Lee will dig it, fans of Vietnam films will dig it, and anyone who had an inkling of respect or admiration for Chadwick Boseman will be moved.  If Lee continues to make films as good as this one, he may find an entirely new generation of fans as a result.

6. Soul (dir. Pete Docter) As mentioned at the top of this list, people love to try and sink films due to their own personal agendas, and Soul found itself in the crosshairs prior to its late 2020 release.  Many people were upset that a minority character would not only spend most of the movie as a blue blob, but would also seemingly serve as a tool for another character’s “salvation”.  That being said, once Soul dropped, anybody with common sense dropped those stances and realized that Pixar had not only made a stunningly beautiful film, but one that likely spoke to adults more than children.  Plain and simple, Soul is a bonafide instant classic.

5. Kajillionaire (dir. Miranda July) If Evan Rachel Wood doesn’t win an Oscar for her performance in Kajillionaire (or at least garner a nomination), Hollywood needs to collectively have their head checked.  Every year worth its salt has a weird, quirky but loveable film, and Miranda July more than succeeded in making one for 2020.  The humor, both physical and dialogue-based, is on point, and the bittersweet nature of the story is gut-wrenching as the film progresses.  This one was probably the biggest surprise for 2020 in terms of prior awareness versus post-watch admiration.

4. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (dir. George C. Wolfe) The final film of Chadwick Boseman’s short but prolific career is one that allowed him to exist in the wake of his reality, making his performance powerful and (seemingly) cathartic.  He is surrounded by supreme talent on all sides, as there are no weak performances in this film, and despite it essentially being a play shot for film, it feels far from limited, contained or constrained.  Not only does it speak on larger issues of the commodification of Black pain and talent, but it may serve as a vehicle for a posthumous Oscar for Boseman.

3. The Devil All The Time (dir. Antonio Campos) This was the first Netflix original that made me really and truly respect them as a film distributor.  The list of talent for The Devil All The Time is truly impressive, and Tom Holland knocked his lead role out of the park.  Robert Pattinson is great as always, and the way that the story winds back into itself keeps you locked in and connected until the credits roll.  For something that came out so many months ago, it’s respectable that it was able to hold such a high position on a list that was as fluid as any I’ve ever put together.

2. Mank (dir. David Fincher) For a time, this was the hands down film of the year on my list.  Gary Oldman has basically become a “can do no wrong” actor, and his performance was amplified by David Fincher’s ability to emulate the look, sound and feel of a bygone Hollywood era.  On top of this, the built in intrigue that comes with handling anything remotely connected to Orson Welles is present, making Mank almost feel like a companion piece to the prolific film that is Citizen Kane.  If The Devil All The Time was a victory for Netflix, then Mank was the win that put them into a true spot as contenders in the future of film distribution. 

1. I'm Thinking of Ending Things (dir. Charlie Kaufman) Where does one even begin with Charlie Kaufman?  Time and again, he proves to be one of the most truly unique voices to gain fame.  For I’m Thinking of Ending Things, Kaufman seemingly returns to his foundation of odd, offbeat love stories, only to take us on a journey of truly mind-bending and psyche-warping proportions.  Of all the movies on this list, this is the one that almost demands repeat viewings, as one must have an idea of the entire journey before they can understand the individual aspects laid out.  If dialogue isn’t your thing, then this one may not hold you, but that would be a shame, as this beautiful mystery stands head and shoulders above the rest of 2020′s stellar output.

[shutupandshipit]

Little Life - Ch.8

Summary:  A baby could ruin his career before it had even started. If anyone found out, he would be kicked out of the Hero Course at the very least and UA at the very worst. Even then, how was he supposed to care for a baby once it arrived? He was a fucking seventeen-year-old boy, not a twenty-nine-year-old omega with their shit at least somewhat together.

…..

Or where Katsuki get pregnant, but is determined to make it to graduation. No matter what it takes.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T (just for language mostly)

Chapter: 8/16

Previous <- Chapter 7

Chapter 9 -> Next

Master Post

Chapter 8: 6 Months

Just like that, Katsuki had made it through two-thirds of his pregnancy. He frowned down at his phone completely disbelieving. The past six months had gone by in the blink of an eye, even with how long the First Trimester had seemingly lasted. This trimester was easier, far easier with how minimal his symptoms had actually been.

'Three months. I have three months left until I meet you, you little monster,' Katsuki thought idly. Warmth bloomed in his chest, and embedded itself in his cheeks.

"Yo, Kacchan, what's that look on your face? You almost look happy!" Kaminari shouted right in his ear, clapping him on the shoulder as he went back to shoving his things back in his bag.

"Get the fuck off me, Dunce Face," Katsuki snarled viciously, snapping his teeth at the blond and slinging his bag over his shoulder. Without looking, Izuku's hand familiarly slipped into his even as Izuku continued talking to his own group.

Kaminari's eyes dropped to their intertwined fingers, and Katsuki stared pointedly until he glanced back up with a wider smile. "No, like, seriously, man. It's like you're glowing all the time now. So fucking weird. It kind of scares me!"

Katsuki's face tightened dangerously as he smiled back. "Are you truing to have a funeral, Dunce Face? I can arrange that for you right now, if you want."

A hand came down over Kaminari's mouth, and Kirishima smiled widely as he steered him away. "Your mouth is getting away from you again, Denks. Where's Shinsou? Maybe you can run it at him for a bit." Before they could leave to find the aforementioned hero in training, Mina grabbed them by the back of their school uniforms.

"Don't go anywhere! We're going back to my room, remember?" she asked brightly.

"I'm not," Katsuki said automatically, "I've got shit to do." That being a movie and shamelessly cuddling Izuku in his nest. Well, really, they were going to go to the new hero expo that Izuku was all but salivating to go and then he was going to cuddle the alpha shamelessly. He wasn't in the mood to be dragged around for hours, but he was in the mood to spend time with Izuku.

"Mido! Come on!" Mina whined, and Izuku turned with raised eyebrows, "You know how long I've been planning this! I know you're what he's talking about!"

"You don't know shit, Raccoon Eyes," Katsuki spit back, gripping Izuku's hand more tightly.

Izuku responded, fingers flexing in his. He smiled. "It's okay. You should spend time with them. I know you don't like how crowded expos can get. Iida and Ochako said they wanted to go, so I won't be alone. We can still get together afterward, and that way I can bring back something we haven't watched six times."

Katsuki grimaced, but after a moment, sighed. "Fine."

Mina and the other idiots whooped. They danced around as Izuku pulled Katsuki close with a hand on the back of his neck.

He scented Katsuki liberally in the view of everyone and their mother, rubbing their necks together. Katsuki's omega purred contentedly, and when Izuku pulled back to kiss him, he took the chance to make it a little less chaste than Izuku had intended.

They pulled away with a dopey smile on Izuku's lips. He giggled. "Have fun. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, you too," Katsuki murmured before Mina forcefully pulled him away.

"That's still so weird to me," Kaminari complained, "Like, not only are you gay, but the blatant PDA? I thought for sure you were just asexual."

'Maybe. I'm really just Deku-sexual.' He decided to keep that to himself.

"Okay," Kirishima sang, "That's about enough out of you." He turned Kaminari away with an arm slung over his shoulders before Katsuki could shut him up for good.

"Naw, man," Sero butted in, blanketing Kirishima's arm with his own, "All their fights were totally charged with sexual tension."

Mina laughed, pulling Katsuki along by his hand. "You two are really trying to get hurt today, aren't you?"

.....

A beer sat in front of Katsuki like it had been since he'd been forcefully pushed down at Mina's desk, sweating profusely in the rising temperature of the room. It had probably gone lukewarm an hour ago, but he wouldn't know. He'd been hanging onto the tea Kirishima had discreetly passed him, but he'd started to use the water from the bottle to draw on the desktop.

Around him, the group was loudly arguing about who would win in a fight: pre-retirement All Might vs. the original Hulk. When Sero had drunkenly started shouting about Captain America, Katsuki had almost exclusively tuned them out and just let his omega marinate in the feeling of community.

If he hadn't been pregnant, Katsuki would have enjoyed a beer or two and enthusiastically joined in the discussion, but as it were, he was. And the smell of booze and the swirling mix of his friends' scents were starting to make him a little sick.

Only Kirishima's grounding hand on his knee kept him from bolting. Thankfully, he'd also been fielding any attempts to draw him into conversation.

He didn't see Mina approaching when she flopped into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Kacchan, are you having fun?" she sang, and he contemplated shoving her off him. Weirdly though, he could tell that she wasn't even tipsy. He actually couldn't remember seeing her take a drink since the party had started, and the realization disquieted him.

"Not nearly," he told her truthfully as Kirishima tried unsuccessfully to pries her off.

She pouted. "Aw, you don't like us anymore now that you've got a boyfriend to entertain you."

"Whoever said I like any of you to begin with?" he sneered.

"Drink with us!" she whined, "You haven't even touched your first beer!"

"Don't want to," he grumbled and went back to his drawing. He was trying to figure out what he wanted to put on the onsie he and Ochako had been making. They'd researched how to make reusable cloth diapers, and he'd have to think of a design for that as well.

Katsuki stiffened when her sticky lips pressed to his ear and whispered, "I know your secret, Katsuki. I know why you're not drinking."

He had shoved her from his lap and was out of his seat before he'd even made the conscious decision to get up. His omega snarled a warning in his chest as she blinked owlishly up at him from the floor. "I'm leaving," he snarled, and he was out the door.

The silence of the room broke as Sero slurred in annoyance, "Mina, what did you say to him?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'll go talk to him," she said placating.

He was already stomping down the stairs when he heard her door slam and her footsteps run to catch up. He sped up, almost sprinting down the stairs. He really hated this whole thing where he had to go all the way to the first floor to get to the boys' staircase. While he understood its necessity with shits like Mineta in the dorm, it was making it extremely difficult to run from his quick-footed friend.

She caught up with him on the third floor of the boys' side. "Katsuki, slow down! Let me explain!" she panted as she sprinted up the stairs behind him.

"Fuck off, Mina!" he roared back, and then he tripped, barely catching himself from cracking his knees on the landing to his floor.

She took her chance, tackling him to the ground and pinning him there.

He struggled and snapped at her, but Mina was incredibly strong for her size. Unless he wanted to hurt her by flinging her down the stairs, he wasn't getting away so easily. "Get the fuck off me!"

"No! Let me explain!" she shouted back.

"No! You think I want to talk to you after that?"

"No, but I want to talk to you about it."

"How did you even find out?" Against his will, his rage was leaking away to be replaced by pure exhaustion. How many people knew? Had he really been that careless? If that was the case, did Izuku know and just decided not to say anything? That wasn't like him.

Mina sighed, grip loosening. He took the chance to buck her off, and she careened over him. They lay panting for several moments before she decided to say anything. "I followed you the day you found out. I was worried because you were acting so weird. I saw you throw the bag away. I saw what was in it."

There was a resounding record scratch in Katsuki's head, and it took him a moment to understand. "You followed me?" he shouted, twisting onto his forearms to glare at her, "You went through my trash?"

"I was worried!" she whined back, holding herself up on her arms to look at him.

"Honestly, fuck you. Who does that?" Pushing to his feet, he strode passed her as she scrambled up behind him. "Fuck off, Mina, I don't want anything to do with you right now," he snarled even as she shouldered into his room passed the door he tried to slam on her.

"No, we're going to talk about this," she said adamantly, standing by his door instead of following him deeper into his room.

'Good,' he raged silently, 'Or I'd blow you up in an instant.'

They glared at each other, him safely in the mess of his own design of clothes and cloth and thread, and her by the door. He snarled a warning when she took a step forward.

She huffed. "Look, I wasn't completely sure until just now. You never refuse so much to drink with us. You always have at least one drink even if you bitch about it the whole time. I wasn't going to say anything."

"Then why did you?"

"Because Eiji clearly knows, and for whatever reason, no one else does. Well," her eyes took in the mess, the pervasiveness of Izuku's, Kirishima's and Ochako's scents, "him and Chako apparently. Mido clearly doesn't know or he would be acting way more possessive. Why?"

Katsuki remained silent. He wasn't about to so liberally give up his secrets to someone who had ambushed him in a place where he should have been safe.

"Is it even his?"

A growl ripped from his throat before he could stop it. Did she really think that lowly of him?"

"Then what? You're just planning on giving birth and giving it up for adoption? Do you even want it? You couldn't stomach an abortion, so you're going to do all of this for nothing?" she asked meanly, lips curled.

He flung his arms out to encompass the room, the fabric and the half constructed onsie and the smell of his room. "Them, Mina, they are a them not an it. You really must think so highly of me to think I'd go through all of this and not want to keep them. Go fuck yourself with any uncomfortable device of your choice. As long as it fucking hurts."

In an instant, her face smoothed out and she grinned at him. The sudden shift in mood had him suddenly off balance. "Just checking. Didn't think I could forgive you otherwise."

"Fuck. You. Mina." He sat heavily in his desk chair, carding a hand through his hair. How many people knew? Who was going to out him? What was he going to do if they did? It's not like he could just kill everyone. That wouldn't solve as many problems as he wished it would.

'Hurry up and get here, little monster. My heart can't take much more of this.'

Mina dropped to the ground, crisscrossing her legs and seemingly getting comfortable.

He had a very sudden and violent image of ripping out her throat with his teeth. Now there was an idea.

"So, you're what? Three months out? Two? You're so close!"

"Three," Katsuki grumbled, flopping his head back and closing his eyes, "Now get out."

"What? No! I want to have girl talk."

"I'm still a fucking man, Mina, there is no 'girl talk' that we can share. I just happen to also be able to have pups. Our pregnancies wouldn't even be the same. Make friends with someone else."

Mina was quiet for a moment. "Can I at least join in the next time you and Chako get together for crafts? I don't know how to sew, but I can learn! And I'm great with designs!" Her voice was small and coaxing.

That was something he could work with. "Fine."

"Yes!" she squealed before returning to normal speaking volumes, "I haven't told anyone, you know, and I won't unless you want me to."

"Well, that's fucking obvious or no one would shut their fucking mouths or leave me alone. Let's keep it that way."

"Sure thing. We should get back to the party though. The natives are probably getting restless, and I doubt you want them to see this."

Katsuki lifted his head. "You go. I wasn't in the mood before so what makes you think I'm any more in the mood now?"

"You know they'll ask more questions for days if I come back alone. Just come back with me. Mido will come back soon, and then you can go off and do whatever it is you two normally do."

"I hate it when you make sense," he grumbled, but stood. He took a moment to hide away his projects before following her out.

When they got to the stairs, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Thanks for trusting me."

"I don't really have a fucking choice in the matter."

"Nope," she chirped, and took the lead.

[legion-of-the-black]

Currently unnamed My Time At Portia Fic

I literally cannot stop playing this game, but that might be because I’m using it to distract me from my dysphoria

Anyway I started writing a Trans masc Builder x Arlo Fic

One. Introductions.

Light, Dee was glad to have his feet on solid ground. He must've been in Portia for half a day already, but he swore he could still feel that darn boat rocking. Still, every step he took getting this builders license and registration felt good. He practically shook the movements of the swaying boat trip out of his legs with every stride he took. Finally, he was at his goal. His first commission.

"Anyway, since this is your first commission, I've kept one just for you." Presley turned to Dee with a sheet in his hands.They stood in the Portian commerce guild building, finalizing his place in the guild.

"Playing favorites are we?" Dee heard a condescending sneer from behind him. Turning, he saw a lanky man with black hair behind them.

"Higgins!" Presley exclaimed, as the new man took the commission sheet out of his hands "You've already taken one today!".

Higgins spun on his heel and walked away "There are never too many commissions. Good day!" He shut the guild door behind him.

"That runt." Presley said "He's the owner of the current number one workshop. Brilliant businessman, but I don't like the way he does things.". Dee looked at the older man, thinking about the implications of his statement. A bully? After a moment, Presley continued "Well, I'm sorry, that was our last one today. You'll have to wai-"

 Bang! The front door slammed open, kicked in by a man with short, messy red hair.

"Hey Pres, I've got a job for ya!" His voice was deep, and accented in a way Dee hadn't heard before. His gut twisted in a strange way. The afternoon light caught the hair of the stranger, and gave him a brief halo of light. He was dressed practically, work boots on, a pair of goggles strapped to his waist. He wore what looked like a uniform jacket, and dark practical pants. A light blue bandana was tied around his neck, and slightly askew.

"-Or not. What is it Arlo?" Presley finished. The man put his hands on his hips, triumphantly

"We're looking to build a bridge to Amber Island."

"So the Mayor finally put up the money? Well! Young Dee here is up for the challenge." From the way the two spoke, Dee assumed this bridge had been spoken of for a while.

"Yeah, he figured that place could be a real tourist attraction, with the haunted cave and all." Presley turned from Arlo

"Dee, check your Pa's Workshop Handbook to see if he has a bridge diagram in there. I remember he built a bunch. If it's there, use it at your Assembly Station. After you're done with the bridge pieces, you'll need to go to the designated spot and assemble the bridge. Also, and this is important, for a project as big as a bridge, you'll probably need to dive into the Abandoned Ruins to gather materials. We have one such ruins in Portia, it's located at the bottom of the Church tower."

Arlo jumped in scratching at his anchor beard, though he seemed to be missing the mustache for it "I can help you with that. There are a couple ruins around the town actually, but we in the Civil Corps maintain them."

"You're from the Civil Corps?" Dee cut in

"I am actually! I am the captain of the Portian Corps." Arlo smiled at Dee for a second, before returning to the passive expression he had worn for most of the conversation. Dee didn’t like the way it made his fingers tingle. "Before you hop in to the ruins, we'll kit you out with some loaned gear.".

"Thank you," Dee said "That's very kind."

"We do it for everyone, but you're welcome." Arlo said

"I guess I'll hop on and get started with all this then," Dee said, starting take her leave.

"Yes! Please do get cracking" Arlo said "I've got to go back to my duties as well, I'll head out with you. Presley." Arlo nodded at the man, and walked out of the building, Dee trailing behind with a wave to Presley. The note left from his Father felt like it was burning a hole in his pockets.

----------

Dee stood alone, in front of a small tree. His long blue hair gently swaying in the breeze, he sighed. Did he remember how to do this right? Picking up his axe, he swung the tool into the trunk. Wrong angle. The axe slid down the tree, peeling away the bark more then chopping.

"Damn it." Dee swung again, harder. The axe caught in the wood with a satisfying thunk. He pulled out the axe and struck again, and again. Soon the tree was down and cut to pieces, and another quickly joined it. Soon more trees fell, as sweat began to pour down Dee's face. He wasn't used to this kind of work, and did not have the stamina or muscles for it. Wiping his brow, his hair long tied behind his head to keep it out of his way. The wood would do well to fix up his fathers old house… well, his house now. His sleep last night had been shocking, the elements perfectly capable of getting through the holes in the roof, and the cold seeping in through the cracks. He'd almost been embarrassed as Arlo had walked him to his house yesterday, while pointing out various locations around the town in the distance. If Arlo thought anything of the state of the home, he didn’t say a thing. Dee would have to go ask Arlo about those ruins soon, as he'd never been in ruins before. Dee had certainly knew of ruin diving as it could be a popular past time. Some of the ruins people dived in were safe, some less so. He hoped Portia's were the former. That would wait for tomorrow though, because this house needed fixing first.

 Arlo wasn't snooping. He was… scoping out the new arrival from yesterday. Making sure he was all above the board, so to say. He didn't want  to not know if he had a third Huss or Tuss being a thorn in his side after all. This was his job as Corps Captain. Of course. Arlo stood in the Peach plaza, watching the new builder cut trees in the land surrounding Portia through the exit archway. His hair was long, and untied. It swung around, punctuating each strike he sent into the tree. It had to have been died that vibrant blue. The strange chemicals of the calamity had changed the natural appearances  in some family lines, so hair colors could "naturally” be unnatural colors these days. Arlo's red hair was like this, but he'd never heard of blue like that before. Arlo's hair barely counted as unnatural, but it was just a touch too red, and his family had had the trait going back generations. The intensity of the red fluctuated for every member of his family, some with only reddish brown hair, some with firetruck red. The builder set down his axe, finally tying his long hair up. Honestly, Arlo was impressed at his stamina, considering even Higgins looked stronger then him. He’d expected the builder too have flagged long ago, and take the rest of the day to rest. Ah well, a month of work like that, and the new builder would be tougher in no time. Dee picked up his axe and went back to work on the trees, picking a new adversary to fell. With a final glance, Arlo decided to jog on on his patrol, as all seemed fine with the new builder.

[inyournightmares97]

The Seventh Wedding

Part of the Thirsty Days of September series, a collaboration with @ijustwantacue. Find her version here!

It took Choi Youngjae seven weddings to fall in love with you.

Genre: Pure fluff. 

Word Count: 15k+

Nobody knows how long it takes to fall in love. Some people think a few seconds is enough, others say it is a matter of weeks, while still others believe that you can’t really be in love until you’ve known the person for at least six months.

If you asked Choi Youngjae, he would tell you that it took him seven weddings.

--

Wedding Number One: Mark

The first time Youngjae saw you was at Mark’s wedding. It was a deliberately fancy affair considering that Mark had made a small fortune through his enterprising business and his wife to-be was equally rich. The young couple had spared no expense. They had hired an enormous outdoor garden locale which had stone fountains, lush beds of green, beautiful flower beds and a little river that flowed through it with a stone bridge.

In such a romantic place, almost anyone could be persuaded to fall in love.

Mark had reluctantly agreed to let Jackson be his best man. After all, the couple had only met due to Jackson’s convenient interference. It was at one of Jackson Wang’s wild and raving parties that Mark had first met the woman he would eventually grow to love and marry, which meant Jackson had been walking around with a puffed-out chest and a painfully arrogant attitude while telling anyone within earshot that he was responsible for this entire marriage. It was only amusing for the first two weeks. It got progressively more difficult as Jackson shirked even the most basic of his best man duties in order to stop and claim credit for the entire wedding.

While Jackson was constantly describing the magical moment when Mark’s and his fiancée’s eyes had first met to anyone that would listen, Jaebum and Jinyoung were running around on the morning of the wedding to make sure that everything was in place. Youngjae had been briefly yanked aside by Jaebum, who looked annoyed.

“Listen, I need you to take Jackson and go to the venue early,” Jaebum insisted.

Youngjae glanced doubtfully at Jackson. The man was on the phone, saying something along the lines of fate and knew it from the start while sounding extremely smug but Youngjae had heard the conversation a million times before.

“Me?” Youngjae whined reluctantly. He didn’t want to be stuck with Jackson while he was being so unbearable.

“It’s hard enough keeping the groom calm without this buffoon stomping uselessly about the place. It would be better to have Jackson go there and inflict himself on Mark’s guests. Besides, we need somebody to make sure that the arrangements at the venue are all right. I’ll send you a list of what should already be set up; the tables, the seating for the ceremony and the caterers van should be there. Oh! Also, the flower delivery guys should have finished by now so make sure they didn’t do a sloppy job.”

Youngjae looked at his friend with a pout. “Hyung…”

“Would you want us to slack off during your wedding?” Jaebum demanded sternly.

If I ever get married, Youngjae thought miserably. He was fairly confident that such a thing would never happen. Jaebum had a steady girlfriend and their nuptials would no doubt take place soon. Jinyoung had been in love with Jaebum’s sister for a while now, a badly hidden secret that they were all aware of except for poor Jaebum himself. Jackson and Bambam had girls swarming around them and no doubt sweet and friendly Yugyeom would find some nice girl to spend his life with.

Honestly, Youngjae was left feeling rather bitter about his future prospects.

“Fine, I’ll take Jackson-hyung and go to the venue,” he agreed. It took a lot of persuading to convince Jackson to get into the car. It was only when Youngjae pointed out that they could greet all the wedding guests themselves if they got there early that the best man agreed that it was a good idea. They drove down to the gardens where the staff were setting up tents. Caterers were bustling about the place with the vans parked to the side and everything was coming together nicely.

“There aren’t any guests here yet!” Jackson complained, looking at the rather deserted wedding venue. It was beautiful, but there was nobody except hired staff around. Understandable, since it was barely 7 am. The wedding didn’t start until 9. Youngjae looked down at the list of things to check that Jaebum had texted him.

“So hyung, we’re supposed to make sure the caterers are setting up in the right place and that the tents are all ready by 8 am because guests could start arriving and apparently the florists should have set up all the floral decorations already-“

Jackson looked disappointed. “Fine. I’ll go talk to the caterers. You go do… something.”

Youngjae sighed as Jackson disappeared in the direction of the caterer’s vans, most likely trying to get a few bites of some spare food since there was nobody to talk to anyway. He looked around at the decorated venue. The enormous tent where food would be served was already set up, the tables and chairs placed according to the seating plan. Youngjae nervously went over to the large tent that had been placed over the ceremonial altar. It was brightly decorated with purple lilies, apparently Mark’s fiancée’s favorite flower and looked gorgeous.

And, as he stood admiring the beautiful wedding venue, he suddenly spotted you.

Youngjae would later deny having fallen in love with you at first sight since it wasn’t the first time he’d seen you. He had caught glimpses of you at the rehearsal dinner (although he’d admittedly turned up rather late for that) and mentally noted that you were one of the bride’s party. But you stood there now, in one of the pale purple dresses that had been specially designed for bridesmaids, your hair looking a bit of a mess and your heavy eye makeup looking slightly out of place considering the rest of your face was devoid of any cosmetics. Clearly you had stopped applying the makeup midway.  

Most importantly, you looked extremely distressed.

Youngjae watched for a few moments as you weaved in and out of the rows of seating, evidently looking for something urgently. Your fingers were running through your neatly made hair and you were breathing heavily. After watching you look around helplessly for a few minutes, Youngjae finally stepped closer to you and cleared his throat.

“Um, hi,” he greeted you carefully.

Your head snapped up to him and he was shocked by the intense and desperate look in your eyes as you blinked. “Have you seen a pure white flower bouquet lying around here anywhere?” you asked bluntly, your voice cracking.

Youngjae bit his lip. “Um, I don’t think so. Is it important?“

“Important? It’s the bridal bouquet!” you cried. Youngjae shifted uncomfortably as you stepped closer to him. Your lower lip was trembling and your voice kept cracking as you spoke. “The florist was supposed to bring it to my sister’s apartment this morning but they forgot and they said that they probably left it at the venue when they came to set up the lilies but I can’t find it anywhere and if I don’t have a bridal bouquet by the time I go back then everything will be ruined!”

Youngjae watched in horror as you sat down on one of the seats and collapsed into a sobbing mess. You covered your face with your hands and let tears stream down your face as your shoulders trembled. He sat down next to you and hesitantly placed a comforting hand on your back. Was that okay? Fuck, he’d never really comforted a crying girl before.

“Are… are you okay?” he asked softly. “Look, please don’t worry. There’s plenty of time until the wedding and I’ll help you find the bouquet, all right? Even if we can’t find the original one we can just make one using some of the flowers here. There are plenty of lilies around and I have some ribbon and decoration paper in my trunk because Jackson-hyung made me handle everyone’s wedding presents…”

You looked up at Youngjae, eyes shining with tears. He seemed a little nervous but he was giving you a sweet, comforting smile. Wow. He was extremely handsome. Why were you humiliating yourself like this in front of such a handsome, sweet guy?

“S-sorry,” you mumbled, wiping your tears. “I’m not a freak, I swear. And I’m not really crying about the bouquet. The last couple of days have just been so stressful because it’s my older sister’s wedding and she trusted me enough to make me the Maid of Honor even though she has so many friends that wanted the position and I just love her so much, I don’t want to let her down.”

Youngjae smiled and shrugged. “I can understand. I’m one of Mark’s friends and things have been pretty messy at the groom’s end as well.”

Your eyes widened. “Oh my god, there’s nothing wrong, is there?”

“No, no, no! Don’t worry! Everything is completely under control!” Youngjae insisted, waving his hands to reassure you. The last thing he wanted was to see you cry again. To his surprise, you let out a soft giggle that made him blush. He smiled back at you and cleared his throat. “So, um, we should probably look for that bouquet, huh? Why don’t you finish checking here and I’ll go check out the lunch tents and the stage for the DJ…”

You smiled at him softly. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

You spent almost forty minutes scouring the venue with Youngjae for the bridal bouquet but you were forced to accept that it was nowhere to be found. Youngjae had even offered to call the florist for you but they were closed this early in the morning and the delivery boys seemed mostly clueless. “What do we do?” you whined miserably. “No other florist will be open and it’s not like they keep bridal bouquets lying around anyway, they almost always have to be pre-ordered. I have to get back to my sister’s apartment in half an hour and I can’t go without a bouquet!”

Youngjae folded his arms across his chest. “So we have no other choice. We’ll have to make one ourselves. I have some colorful tissue paper and ribbon in the trunk of my car. Let’s just pick some flowers off these decorations. There are way more lilies wrapped around that pillar than anyone needs.”

You folded your arms across your chest and raised an eyebrow at Youngjae. “You don’t know very much about wedding traditions, do you, Youngjae-ssi?”

Youngjae flushed. “Well, I’ve only been to two or three...”

“The bridal bouquet has to be white. But my stupid sister insisted on the entire wedding having a purple theme. Purple bridesmaids’ dresses, purple tablecloths, purple lilies. I don’t see a single white flower anywhere in this area, do you?” you whined. You sat down and sighed heavily as you ran a hand down your face in frustration. “This is a huge mess. Where am I going to get enough white flowers to fill a bouquet? My sister is going to walk down the aisle empty handed and all the other bridesmaids will kill me because she won’t be able to do the bouquet toss and-“

“There’s a white rose bed on the other side of the garden.”

You sat up and looked at Youngjae sharply. “You’re joking.”

“No, I’m not. I noticed it on the way to the venue. There was an enormous rose bed down behind that grassy hill and some of them were white, I swear,” Youngjae insisted. He grabbed your hand and pulled on it so that you were forced to follow him as he hurried down the grassy slope. You had moved a good distance away from the wedding venue and you weren’t sure if you were even allowed to be here because Mark and your sister had only rented a portion of the garden for the wedding.

“Yes! White roses!” you cried once you saw the enormous flower bed. There were lots of roses and at least ten of the rose bushes had pure white roses. You hurried down but you stopped short at a small wooden sign that was just next to the rose bed.

Please do not pluck the flowers.

Your shoulders slumped. “Oh no. We’re not allowed to pluck them.”

Youngjae turned and looked at you with a small twinkle in his eye. He had never been one to break the rules but the heartbroken expression on your face made him want to do something bold. In a brief instant of foolish bravery, Choi Youngjae decided that he would never respect himself again if he couldn’t get you the white flowers for the bridal bouquet. “There’s no one here,” he pointed out, even though his heartbeat was thudding unnaturally. “I’ll hide some in my jacket. You wrap a few in your dress shawl and we’ll make a run for my car.”

You stared at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Let’s do it now, before anyone who works at the garden comes by.”

You swallowed. “Fuck it. They’re just flowers. Let’s do it.”

Both of you laughed nervously as you raced around the rose garden, plucking white roses as quickly as you could. You bundled whatever amount of roses you could under the shawl that came with your bridesmaid dress and Youngjae carefully draped his jacket over one arm and hid his share of roses underneath it. Clasping your spare clammy hands together, the two of you made a dash for the parking lot where Youngjae’s car was parked. Once you were sitting in the car you looked at him and you both started laughing.

“Wow, that was crazy,” you giggled.

Youngjae beamed at you, his angelic smile causing you to smile even harder. He had a beautiful laugh and you couldn’t take your eyes off him even as he pulled the roses out from under his jacket. He set them in his lap and then winced as he looked at his finger. “Ouch. I pricked my thumb on the thorns, I think.”

You leaned over. “Oh no! Let me see that. Hold on, I have a handkerchief.”

“It’s okay, it’s just a little prick, it’ll go away“

“No, no, it’s an occupational hazard,” you told him with a laugh as you wrapped your handkerchief around his finger. “You sustained that injury while saving your friend’s wedding, you should wear the scar with pride. But you should also put some antiseptic on it the first chance you get.”

Youngjae nodded as he started the car. “Well, we should get these flowers to the bride first.”

“We should. Thanks for your help, Youngjae.”

He smiled at you softly, blushing. “No problem.”

--

Youngjae was nervous as the wedding hall filled up with guests and the time for the ceremony approached. You had gone back to your sister’s apartment after Youngjae had helped you wrap up the roses into a makeshift bouquet and you would only return to the venue with the bridal party. Youngjae couldn’t get you off his mind. He misplaced the rings while thinking about you twice, after which Jinyoung snatched them from him with a dirty glare.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful and so were you. Youngjae was positive that your eyes had met as you walked up the aisle with the bridesmaids. You gave him a small smile and he smiled back, his entire face flushing a furious red. Jinyoung, who was standing right beside him, frowned.

“Why does the maid of honor keep looking at us?” he muttered.

Youngjae bit his lip. “I don’t know.”

Jinyoung merely raised an eyebrow but kept silent as the ceremony progressed. Youngjae tried to concentrate on the wedding. It was amazing that Mark was getting married to somebody he loved so much. Jackson and Yugyeom both shed tears at the wedding and Youngjae had to admit, it was all very beautiful and overwhelming. He was disappointed to have gotten a seat far away from you during lunch but when the band started up at the reception and everyone began to dance, you made your way over to Youngjae yourself.

“Hi,” you greeted shyly. “Join me for a dance?”

Youngjae felt embarrassed. You looked much prettier than you had this morning with your hair finally done properly and the rest of the makeup on your face finished. He panicked when you held your hand out to him with a shy smile. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not much of a dancer…”

“Please? You can’t be worse than Jackson. He asked me to dance, said something about the best man dancing with the maid of honor but all these other girls keep trying to cut in and I hate having to fight women off for a guy that I don’t even like,” you pointed out.

“Y-yeah, okay.”

Youngjae was extremely flustered as you led him out to the dance floor during a slow dance. You placed your hands on his shoulders while Youngjae carefully placed his own on your waist and you looked up at him. Wow, he was handsome. “So, Youngjae, I tried asking around about the mysterious, chivalrous man who was willing to commit such a daring act for me this morning but my sister doesn’t seem to know very much about you,” you teased.

Youngjae bit his lip as he looked down at you. “There’s nothing very interesting about me, frankly. Plucking those flowers was the most daring thing I’ve done in a long time.”

You giggled. “To be honest, me too. I guess we don’t think about breaking the rules so much after we become adults.”

“But it was kind of fun,” he admitted.

“It was, wasn’t it? I wonder what poor bridesmaid will catch the bouquet later. I just hope she doesn’t get framed for our crimes.”

Youngjae chuckled. “What if it’s you?”

“I think I’ll let some girl who actually has a man in her life catch the bouquet,” you replied dismissively. “Not because I don’t want to get married but because I love the horrified expression on the boyfriend’s face when he sees that everyone is staring at him with that you’re next look.”

“Wow. That seems almost cruel,” Youngjae joked but his eyes were looking down at you with adoration. You couldn’t help but blush. Why were you so flustered in this man’s presence? Was it possible that both of you felt this sudden, exciting connection? You opened your mouth to say something bold but before you could, somebody tapped you on the shoulder. You turned around to see one of the other bridesmaids looking apologetic.

“Hey. I’m sorry to interrupt, but uh…” she gave you a sympathetic look. “It’s your mother again. She’s crying behind the catering tent.”

You sighed. “Damn it. I’ll go talk to her.”

“Thanks, darling.”

You turned to Youngjae but he had already released your waist and stepped back. He looked a little disappointed but he forced a smile. “Well, you should probably go comfort your mother, I’m sure it’s not easy to see one of her daughters get married away. I’ll see you when you get back?”

You nodded. “I won’t be long, I promise.”

But you were. You were so long that no matter how much Youngjae waited, he just couldn’t get another moment alone with you at the reception. Youngjae went back home with Jinyoung and Jackson, disappointed and cursing himself for not being more bold and making a move sooner. After all, when would he ever get the chance to see you again?

--

Wedding Number Two: Jinyoung

Everyone expected that Jaebum would get married next including, it seemed, Jaebum himself. But a few weeks after Mark returned from his honeymoon and when the boys all gathered to grab a drink at the local pub, an intoxicated Jinyoung blurted out the secret that he’d been hiding for almost an entire year from his closest friend.

“Hyung, I’m madly in love with your sister. I want to marry her.”

It hadn’t gone down well. Almost everyone had been drunk, nobody was in their senses and Jaebum hadn’t been able to take the shocking revelation with much dignity. He threw an entire pint of beer at Jinyoung’s face and created a mild ruckus in the pub; all of which Mark and Jackson had to apologize and pay for afterwards. Youngjae briefly worried that their group was broken forever. But it only took Jaebum a few hours to sober up and apologize to his best friend.

A few warm, brotherly hugs and cautionary words later, the break had been mended and the date for the next wedding was set.

--

“Thanks for giving me a hand with the invitations, Youngjae,” Jinyoung told him with a grateful smile while Youngjae helped him address the envelopes that were to go out the next day.

While Jinyoung’s wedding wasn’t nearly as expensive or extravagant as Mark’s had been it was very meticulously planned down to the last detail. Youngjae had to admire the patience and perseverance with which Jinyoung and his fiancée planned their cute little church wedding. “Honestly, I’m glad you’re around. Mark is too busy with his newly married life. Jackson is completely useless at everything except sweet-talking his way into discounts and I feel like Jaebum has these brief moments when he regrets giving me permission to marry his sister.”

Youngjae smiled up at his friend and patted him on the back. “It’ll all work out fine, hyung.”

“You think so?”

“I’m positive.”

“Okay. Well, we’re not really inviting anyone except close friends and family because we don’t want to splurge too much on a lavish wedding,” Jinyoung muttered. “So the guest list is pretty small. But I did invite Mark’s sisters-in-law.”

Youngjae looked up, his heart skipping a beat. “Sorry, did you say Mark’s sisters-in-law?”

Jinyoung looked down at him with a mischievous grin. Nothing escaped this man’s sharp eyes and he had certainly noticed Youngjae’s behavior during the last wedding. “I’m sure you remember them. The older one was the Maid of Honor at Mark’s wedding? She kept making eyes at you but you were too shy to do anything about it. You can’t stay alone forever, Choi Youngjae.”

Youngjae flushed and opened his mouth to protest, but there was no use. “Thanks, hyung,” he admitted finally.

Jinyoung grinned and clapped him on the back. “At least make a solid move this time, yeah?”

Youngjae nodded. He planned to.

--

Youngjae was extremely nervous. Jinyoung had left him in charge of greeting the guests at the entrance and showing them to their seats because he didn’t trust any of the other boys not to run their mouths. Both Jackson and Bambam had been kept as far away from the guests as possible. But that meant that Youngjae had the seating plan in his hands and your name was on it. He would have to show you to your seat.

Youngjae had just finished helping an elderly couple (Jaebum’s grandparents) to their seats when he spotted you walking up to the church with your sister. He gaped at how pretty you looked in a cute dress and with your hair swept over your shoulders. You approached Youngjae with a bright, happy smile that made his heartbeat thump faster. He found himself subconsciously adjusting his black coat and smoothing down his hair.

“Youngjae-ssi!” you greeted him excitedly. “It’s so nice to see you again! How are you?”

Youngjae cleared his throat. “I’m-uh, I’m doing great. You… you look wonderful.”

You blushed prettily. Youngjae looked extremely handsome himself and it seemed like he’d gotten even better-looking even though it had been barely three months since you saw him last. You smoothed down your dress and tried not to look too flustered. “Thank you so much. I was a little surprised that Jinyoung-ssi chose to invite us since we don’t really know him personally but I love weddings so I couldn’t resist,” you explained happily.

Youngjae smiled. “I’m glad you came-“

“Is Bambam here?” the girl beside you interrupted.

Your youngest sister was standing by your side and she looked a little bored with the conversation. You glared at her, telling her to behave herself but you both knew that the only reason she had come to this quaint little church wedding was because she had an enormous crush on Bambam. She hadn’t been able to stop talking about him ever since they met at Mark’s wedding. Youngjae rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh; Bambam is helping with the caterers right now but he should be back soon. Can I help you both find your seats?”

Your sister looked disappointed but you beamed at Youngjae.

“That would be wonderful, thank you so much.”

--

Youngjae couldn’t take his eyes off you during the ceremony. You and your younger sister were sitting two rows in front of him and a little bit to the right, so he could see most of your profile while you watched the wedding. Jinyoung and his wife kissed sweetly and chastely at the altar. Jaebum, meanwhile, walked around the church with his jaw clenched and tried to appear manlier than he felt. He glared daggers at anyone who accused him of having watery eyes and even choked up a little while delivering his best man’s speech to the amusement of everyone present.

Youngjae made a beeline for you once the band started to play. You were standing around and looking a little uncomfortable because you didn’t know too many people here and your younger sister had abandoned you in search of her crush. Youngjae took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and walked up to you confidently.

“Hi there,” he said with a smile.

You beamed at him. “Hi.”

“So, um… we never got to actually finish that dance at Mark-hyung’s wedding,” he said shyly. “I couldn’t find you afterwards. Would you like to dance right now?”

“I would love to.”

You allowed Youngjae to guide you onto the dance floor and you were surprised to note that he seemed much more confident than the last time you had met. He placed his hands on your waist gently and pulled you closer to him. Youngjae had a beautiful innocent smile so you couldn’t help but smile back. The band was singing a sweet love song, and everybody was cooing at how cute Jinyoung and his bride looked together as they danced. But Youngjae had eyes only for you.

“I, uh, I was really looking forward to seeing you again,” he admitted bravely.

You smiled shyly. “Me too. I was surprised to get an invitation, since this is such a small and reserved wedding. I thought it might be awkward not knowing anyone except my sisters but I really wanted to see you again.”

Youngjae beamed. “Really?”

“Yeah. I had fun with you last time,” you admitted. “I’m sorry I acted kind of crazy, breaking down into tears when we couldn’t find the bridal bouquet and everything. I felt like I had to prove to you that I’m not insane. I’m really not. I’m actually a rather boring person. I mean… not super boring, I can have a little fun, but I, um... wow, I’m not sure what I’m trying to say.” You looked up at him with an embarrassed smile. “You probably think I am crazy, right?”

“No, I think you’re really cute,” he blurted out.

Both of you became extremely flustered as soon as he said that, and you couldn’t speak for a few moments. Youngjae couldn’t believe that he had such a sweet, beautiful girl in his arms. The band kept playing slower songs and by the third song you and Youngjae had moved closer to each other and you rested your head on his shoulder. He kept the conversation going, talking about how he had helped Mark and Jinyoung so much with their weddings that he could probably plan a wedding single-handedly if it came down to it. You loved listening to Youngjae talk. He sounded like an angel and you bit your lip, deciding that you wouldn’t let this wedding end without asking him out.

“Weddings are kind of weird, aren’t they?” you mused as you both swayed to the soft music. “I’ve never really wanted to be married because I’ve never found the right guy but… I think even people who don’t want to be married would like to have a lovely wedding.”

“But they can be super stressful. All the planning and the money you have to spend…”

You grinned. “Yeah, but I think there’s something romantic about successfully planning a wedding with someone you love. It’s like the first test for your married life isn’t it? It’s like saying well, if we can pull off this together then we make a great team and we can pull off life itself together. How are you going to spend your life with someone if you can’t even plan a wedding with them?”

“I never thought about it that way,” Youngjae admitted.

“That’s because you’ve only been planning other people’s weddings so far, Youngjae-ssi,” you teased.

He raised an eyebrow with a smile. “Oh? And how many of your own weddings have you planned, then?”

You sighed and pouted. “None. Please don’t rub it in. If I get invited to one more wedding while I’m still hopelessly single then I might just cry. It doesn’t bother me normally but attending a wedding alone is just so sad and makes me feel bitter. Especially ones like this where I barely know anyone.”

Youngjae’s hands tightened on your waist. “You know me,” he pointed out gently.

“That’s a nice thought but you can’t help me with every wedding that I have to attend,” you joked. “All my college and high-school friends are hitting their mid and late twenties now, I’ve been getting an invitation almost every month. In fact, one of my seniors from college is having her wedding today at a different venue. I had to choose which wedding I wanted to attend.”

“And you chose to come to this one?”

Ah, shit. Would Youngjae think it was weird that you came here merely in the hopes of seeing him? What if you scared him off? You had only met once before and everything was rather delicate. You cleared your throat and tried to stop the blood from rushing to your cheeks. “I mean…um… I never really liked that senior anyway. And my younger sister! Yeah, she’s had a huge crush on Bambam since Mark’s wedding so she insisted that we come here. Apparently they really hit it off.”

Youngjae looked a little disappointed. “Oh. Right, of course.”

“But I’m glad I came,” you told him honestly.

He gave you a soft smile as he noticed the sparkle in your eyes. You could feel this too, he was sure of it. Why else would you look up at him with those big eyes of yours and smile at him shyly like an angel? Youngjae was suddenly tempted to make a bold move. He leaned down until his face was right in front of yours and smiled at you. “Maybe we should get through this wedding season together. Let’s be each other’s date to whichever wedding comes next so that we’re not alone and bored.”

You bit your lip to hold back your delight. “That’s an interesting idea. I like it.”

“A-are you sure? I meant that it’s a real date…” he clarified hesitantly, suddenly feeling shy.

“Oh, I know.”

“Okay, then. It’s settled. The next wedding invitation either one of us gets, we go together,” he told you with a laugh. You nodded and smiled back at him. Why was he so adorable? You felt the urge to lean up and kiss Youngjae right then, to cut off his sweet laugh with your lips. But you couldn’t gather the courage so you merely stepped back from him as the song ended. You hadn’t even realized how much time had passed since you’d started dancing. It was getting dark outside, and the celebrations were coming to an end. You were about to ask Youngjae to get one last drink with you when the bride suddenly weaved her way through the crowd of dancers, making a beeline for you and Youngjae.

“Youngjae! I need your help!” she insisted, struggling to hurry towards him in her white gown. Her expression was a little irritated and Youngjae blinked at her in surprise.

“Is everything okay, noona?”

The bride huffed while running her fingers through her hair. You felt a tinge of jealousy; she was so beautiful in her gorgeous gown and with the afterglow from her wedding. The bride merely shot you a polite, apologetic smile before she turned to Youngjae. “No, everything is not okay. Both the men in my life are enormous idiots who thought it was a good idea to get shitfaced on my wedding day. Can you please help me get them home? Jaebum-oppa’s girlfriend is mad at him so she won’t come and my husband will definitely regret his actions in the morning so I’d rather keep it all on the downlow.”

Youngjae blinked. “Is it that bad? Noona, I had a few glasses earlier, I can’t drive.”

The bride looked distressed and you piped up softly. “Um, I can drive if you want. My car is in the parking lot and I haven’t had anything to drink.”

She looked at you hopefully. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

You followed Youngjae and the bride to the smaller tent nearby, where both Jaebum and Jinyoung were alone with empty bottles of champagne and wine littering the ground around them. To your surprise the two men were embracing each other and both of them had red, tear-filled eyes. You and Youngjae froze in shock as drunken Jaebum let out a loud wail.

“Jinyoung-ah! I-I’m so sorry I thought you weren’t good enough for my sister!” Jaebum cried out loudly. He was patting Jinyoung’s back in a clumsy manner as he sniffled. “You’re the best person my sister could have found, I would never trust anyone more than you!”

Jinyoung’s own voice cracked at he looked at his friend. “Hyung, that means so much to me, you have no idea!” he insisted, his words slurring from the effect of the alcohol. “I-I’m so sorry we went behind your back! I wanted to tell you! I really did! It was all her idea to keep it secret! You know I would never lie to you, hyung, you know that, right?”

Jinyoung’s finger jabbed out to point accusingly at his newly wedded wife, who was glaring daggers at him with her arms folded across her chest. Jaebum nodded emphatically and reassured Jinyoung that he trusted him not to lie and the men exchanged I love yous before hugging each other. Youngjae’s lips were pressed together tightly as he held back a laugh and you had to admit that the whole situation was rather amusing. You’d never seen two such rigid and well-behaved men humiliate themselves this way. When you let out a stray giggle though, the bride glared at you.

“Do you think this is funny? It’s my wedding night and my husband is drunkenly confessing his love to my brother. I want them out of my sight,” she insisted, her fingers rubbing her temples. “What was I thinking, marrying one of Jaebum-oppa’s friends? God, I’m such an idiot.”

Youngjae chuckled. He knew that she loved Jinyoung more than anything in the world and that they fought often. He gave the bride his usual blinding smile and reassured her that he would get both Jinyoung and Jaebum to their respective homes before anybody saw them. The bride merely thanked Youngjae tersely and left the tent to go meet her relatives. You gave Youngjae a confused look and he smiled at you apologetically.

“Sorry for getting you roped into this.”

You laughed. “No, it’s very interesting!”

“Would you mind starting the car? I’ll bring these two idiots to the parking lot. Oh, and I’ll message Bambam to take your sister home safely so don’t worry about her.”

You went out into the parking lot and started your car while Youngjae struggled to support the two heavy men and convince them to get inside. Jaebum stumbled a little and Jinyoung paused to throw up in a nearby bush for a few moments but somehow Youngjae managed to buckle them up into the backseat together. You started your car and turned to Youngjae, who had slid into the passenger-side seat beside you.

“Are they going to be okay?” you wondered. “Where are we taking them?”

Before Youngjae could respond, Jinyoung suddenly leaned forward and poked his head in between you and Youngjae, giving you an open-mouthed look. His finger pointed at you as he beamed. “Hey! You’re that girl! The one who was making eyes at Youngjae at Mark’s wedding! What are you doing here?”

Youngjae felt nervous. “You invited her, hyung.”

Jinyoung looked dazed. “Right, right, of course…”

“Hyung, just sit back and try not to puke in her car, okay? Don’t worry about anything,” Youngjae insisted, pushing Jinyoung back before he said anything embarrassing. How had these two men gotten so drunk out of their senses? Youngjae turned and smiled at you. “Jinyoung was supposed to spend the night in a hotel they’d booked with his wife so we’d better drop him off there. But Jaebum has to go home. His girlfriend is likely waiting for him.”

You nodded and started the car. “Yes, sir.”

It was all a very amusing series of events that night. You and Youngjae had to help Jinyoung up to the honeymoon suite of the hotel that they’d booked. It was a struggle to convince him to get up there because he kept alternating between apologizing to Jaebum for keeping his relationship a secret, and loudly proclaiming that he was extremely drunk. Jaebum, on the other hand, found a cat in the hotel lobby that he refused to leave without petting. The cat looked distressed and you had to apologize to the owner several times. Jaebum only agreed to let go when it hissed and scratched him across the arm.

“Wow, this is exhausting,” Youngjae said with a laugh. Jinyoung had been unceremoniously dumped on the bed of his honeymoon suite for his wife to find whenever she returned, and Jaebum shoved back into your car. You turned and looked at the gorgeous man sitting beside you. You normally hated dealing with drunken people but nothing seemed too bad when Youngjae was laughing that angelic laugh of his. You had to admire how he never lost his temper at the two drunken men and only dealt with them with his bright smile. How could somebody be so positive and bright? Jaebum started making loud groaning noises in the backseat as you drove to his apartment and you and Youngjae couldn’t help but exchange looks and giggle.

“Okay, hyung. Try and sober up now, you know that noona will be upset if she sees you this drunk. Remember your girlfriend? She’s waiting for you at home? She probably just got off work so let’s not upset her, okay?” Youngjae asked as he coaxed Jaebum into the elevator. The older man was slumped against his friend and his eyes were unfocused.

Jaebum nodded. “Hmm. Let’s not upset her.”

“Good, good.”

“What if she’s already upset?” Jaebum asked, eyes widening. “What if… what if…”

Youngjae patted him on the back. “I’m sure she wouldn’t be upset without a reason.”

Jaebum shook his head and he suddenly straightened up, his eyes filling with tears. “But she does have a reason! I’m a terrible boyfriend! I know that she was hurt that Mark got married before us even though she never said anything about it but now Jinyoung is married now too and I’ve kept her waiting for so long. What if she doesn’t want to wait anymore? What if I lose her?”

Youngjae looked helpless so you interrupted in with a gentle smile. “I’m sure that a woman would wait any amount of time for a man that she loved and trusted. You should have more faith in her,” you insisted.

Jaebum blinked at you. “Who are you again?” he demanded.

Youngjae sighed. “Hyung, don’t be rude. I told you a hundred time, she’s Mark-hyung’s sister-in-law-“

Jaebum snapped his fingers and grinned at Youngjae. “That’s right! She’s the girl from Mark’s wedding, the one you had a huge crush on! Jinyoung told me all about it but he said not to say anything to you because you were probably embarrassed,” Jaebum said with a cheerful laugh. He turned to look at you with a smile. “Youngjae really likes you but he’s shy and kind of stupid. But he’s a really nice boy at heart, aren’t you, Youngjae?”

Youngjae looked like he wanted to die. “Hyung, please…”

You smiled despite the blush reddening your cheeks. “I know. I think Youngjae’s great too.”

Jaebum beamed and clapped Youngjae on the back a little too hard. “See? She likes you, you idiot! Now don’t mess things up. Take her home safely and don’t forget to get her number and show her your guitar, girls love guitars-“

Youngjae looked horrified as he avoided eye contact with you and he breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator opened up on the right floor. He hurriedly dragged Jaebum towards his apartment and rang the doorbell. A few moments passed before a beautiful women opened the door, dressed casually in sweatpants and with her hair tied up. She sighed when she saw her boyfriend being supported by Youngjae.

“Thanks for bringing him home, Youngjae,” she said gently, before turning to frown at her boyfriend. “Your sister called me nearly in tears because you and Jinyoung made a big scene at her wedding. Are you proud of yourself? I should never have let you go to that wedding alone, I knew you couldn’t handle it but I had to work and-”

Jaebum had fallen silent and he was staring at her, an odd look in his eyes. “I love you.”

She was flustered. “Huh? I-I love you too Jaebum, but… what are you doing?”

Jaebum had stumbled down to the floor. At first you thought that he’d just fallen over because he was drunk, but he gingerly balanced himself on one knee and dug into his pocket to pull out a small ring box. He opened it and held it up in front of her while she grasped the doorframe to steady herself from the shock. “I love you so, so much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I’m sorry for making you wait so long. Can you forgive me? Will you be my wife?”

The scene made you feel warm. Jaebum’s girlfriend burst into tears and pulled him up to his feet before they both entered into a passionate embrace. You couldn’t hold back a smile of your own. Love was so beautiful, it made people so happy. You wished you could find a love of your own that could make you as happy as the woman in front of you.

“Well, this is awkward,” Youngjae mumbled with an embarrassed chuckle as the couple went back into their apartment, kissing and ignoring the both of you. He turned and gave you a soft smile. “I’m sorry you had to put up with all of this tonight.”

You shook your head and smiled back. “No. I’m glad I got to see that. That was beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.”

You turned and looked at Youngjae in surprise. His cheeks were red and he looked a little flustered, but his eyes were staring straight into yours. You felt a sudden burst of hope inside of you. You barely knew Youngjae but there was something about him that made you feel that perhaps you could find that sort of love with him. Unable to resist, you leaned up and gently pressed your lips against his in a shy kiss. Youngjae’s eyes widened and he froze for a moment, unable to react before you pulled back and smiled.

“I guess we know whose wedding our first date will be at, huh?” you joked.

Youngjae grinned. “Yeah, I guess we do.”

--

Wedding Number Three: Jackson

“Hyung, are you sure about this?”

Jackson nodded firmly. “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”

Youngjae felt uneasy as he helped his friend fix his suit. Despite the fact that they were all headed to a wedding, there was something extremely uncomfortable about the atmosphere. Jackson had disappeared for a few weeks after Jinyoung’s wedding and had been completely out of contact. When he returned, he suddenly announced that he was getting married in a few days. Apparently the girl he had been casually seeing had gotten pregnant and he now had to step up to take responsibility for his child.

Bambam was quite vocal about his disapproval. “Hyung, there are ways to take responsibility for the child without having to marry her. You could offer child support, you don’t need to get trapped into a legal relationship with this woman-“

Jackson paused mid-way through fixing his suit and glared at Bambam through the mirror. His voice was icy. “Her family were very clear about the fact that they would disown her if she had a child out of wedlock. Besides, my child isn’t going to grow up in a household without a father. Do you think I would sit and let that happen?”

Bambam recoiled. “I didn’t mean it like that. But you never wanted to get married and I don’t know if this is a good enough reason to bind yourself to a woman-“

“Then what is a good enough reason, huh? Tell me, Bambam. How could there possibly be a reason more important than the safe upbringing of a child? I know what it’s like to grow up in a dysfunctional family and I would rather die than put another child through that. I was the one who got drunk and failed to use protection. I have to take responsibility for this. I can’t leave a woman to raise a child that I am equally responsible for bringing into this world. This is my choice and if you don’t like it then don’t come to the wedding.”

Bambam looked hurt. “Of course I’ll come to the wedding. I would never miss it.”

Youngjae bit his lip. He hated this tense atmosphere. Jackson was normally such a frivolous and carefree person that it worried everyone to see him so serious and stressed. The wedding wasn’t a proper one either. The bride’s parents had refused to come due to the ugliness of the situation and Jackson insisted that he wanted it done as quickly as possible in order to avoid too much talk. A small church had been booked for the ceremony and they would all go out to a restaurant for food and drinks later.

Jackson took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of his bed before looking up at Jinyoung. “Do you know how she’s doing? She’s been having morning sickness and if she doesn’t feel well enough to come to the church…”

Jinyoung patted his friend on the back, reassuringly. “She’s fine. My wife’s gone to help her get ready. Everything will go smoothly, Jackson. Don’t worry about the wedding. You’re doing the right thing, I promise.”

“I hope so.”

“We should head down to the church. I’ll call and ask how the girls are managing and the priest is waiting there already. Youngjae… don’t you have to go and pick up your date?”

Youngjae bit his lip. “Are you sure I can bring her? I mean, if it’s not appropriate for me to bring a date to something like this…”

Jackson forced a bright smile and stood up, clapping his friend on the back. His loud, falsely enthusiastic voice boomed in the small room. “Don’t be stupid. You have to bring her Youngjae, everyone knows how crazy you are about this girl and we want to meet her. Can you guys stop acting like this is a funeral? It’s a wedding for heaven’s sake. I’m getting married and you guys are supposed to be the ones cheering me up! Where are the dirty jokes and the teasing? Do I have to do everything myself?”

Bambam rolled his eyes. “We’re not worried about you, we’re worried about this poor girl that’s going to be stuck with you for the rest of her life.”’

Jackson beamed. “That’s the spirit!”

--

You smiled as you stood beside Youngjae and watched the wedding.

Youngjae had called you a few days earlier and told you frankly about the circumstances; that this was a shotgun wedding arranged because the bride had gotten pregnant and that there would be nobody there except for close friends. But you couldn’t resist the opportunity to spend time with Youngjae so you had agreed. You had made a deal to attend the very next wedding that you got an invite to, after all, and Jaebum’s invitations hadn’t gone out yet.

The bride was very different from what you expected. Unlike the gorgeous, confident model-like women that Jackson Wang was known for playing with, she was a naturally pretty and shy girl. She seemed extremely nervous and her face turned a brilliant red when you mentioned to her that she looked beautiful in her plain white wedding dress. The ceremony was over quickly and without much fuss. You got into Youngjae’s car as the entire group drove to a hotel that they had made reservations at for dinner.

“Do you think it’s okay to marry someone you’re not in love with?” Youngjae asked quietly, his eyes fixed on the road. You noticed that he seemed a little bit tense. Nobody at that wedding seemed entirely happy somehow and it suddenly struck both of you that maybe, weddings weren’t always places of celebration and love and beauty after all. Maybe, for some people, it was a lifetime of being bound to the wrong person.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Maybe love and marriage don’t always go hand in hand.”

“What do you mean?”

You sighed and shrugged, leaning back in the passenger-side seat. “Sometimes you’re not always compatible with the person you fall in love with, if you get what I mean? Love is an emotion. It’s unexplainable and it’s just a rushed feeling. But what really holds a marriage together is compatibility and understanding. If you ask me, two determined people who want to make a marriage work and have honest intentions can make a marriage work even if they’re not in love.”

Youngjae bit his lip. “Sort of destroys the romance aspect of it, though, doesn’t it?”

“True. But real life isn’t always so romantic.”

“But there are people who manage to find both love as well as happiness in marriage, right?”

You gave him a small smile and nodded. “I’m sure there are.”

Youngjae reached over and took your hand, squeezing it gently. You had both been talking a lot over the last couple of weeks; through text messages and the occasional phone call. The more you talked to Youngjae and heard his angelic voice and saw how much of a wonderful person he was… you found yourself falling harder and harder for him. His hand was warm as it enclosed over yours and you found yourself gripping it tightly, that same hope filling you once more.

Maybe this was the man that you could finally experience love with.

--

You had fun at the wedding dinner.

Youngjae’s friends were all loud and wild, there was no end to the ruckus that they caused. Glasses of wine were passed around the table to everyone except the bride (and Jackson, who refused to drink in order to keep an eye on his pregnant wife). Before long, Youngjae was tipsy enough to confidently put his arm around your shoulder and gently pull you into his side. You blushed deeply at the comfortable yet exciting feeling of sitting so close to him.

“Are you okay?” Youngjae asked you with a smile as the meal came to an end. You had been quiet for a while but it wasn’t because you didn’t have anything to say; it was just difficult to get a word in edgewise with the noisy group. You merely looked up at Youngjae and nodded with a giggle. You were slightly drunk and you were worried that you had a stupid smile on your face but Youngjae grinned back at you.

“You’re adorable,” he told you softly.

You flushed, your hands coming up to cover your warm cheeks. “I think I’m a little drunk,” you admitted lightly. “It’s kind of warm in here.”

“Do you want to go outside and walk it off?”

You nodded eagerly and waited while Youngjae told the rest of the group that you were both going to get some fresh air. Bambam said something that made Youngjae frown at him but you were a little too drunk to care. Your heart leapt as Youngjae took your hand in his and led you out of the restaurant. It was getting dark outside and you both walked down the street while swinging your entwined hands together. Youngjae laughed when you skipped slightly on the sidewalk and turned to face him.

“I want ice cream,” you decided randomly.

“Ice cream? Right now?”

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, right now. There has to be a convenience store somewhere around here, right? Let’s go find it! I want ice cream, Youngjae-oppa!”

Youngjae blushed a furious red as he looked at your small figure smiling at him adorably while you squeezed his hand. He had never been so completely smitten with a girl before and his heart skipped a beat when you blinked at him cutely. “O-oppa?” he stammered, with a nervous laugh. The sudden endearment made him flustered. You had typed out the word while texting him once but it was his first time hearing it from your lips.

You nodded firmly. “Yup. You’re my oppa for today. Please buy me ice cream?”

“Okay, let’s go.”

You smiled before moving closer to him. Youngjae was disappointed when you let go of his hand, but you wrapped both of your arms around his instead, and tucked yourself into his side as you walked. Youngjae blushed when your head came to rest on his shoulder and you cheerfully talked about the ice cream flavors you liked.

“Dark chocolate is for sad days,” you explained to him with the patience of teaching a child. You tended to ramble about stupid things while tipsy. “Because it’s bittersweet and that’s how life is sometimes. Normal chocolate is for happy days. Toffee and cookie dough are for celebrations. Coffee ice cream is for cold days. Mint chocolate chip is for rainy days,” you listed off happily, ticking off the flavors on your fingers as you leaned your head against Youngjae’s shoulder.

“What about vanilla?” Youngjae interrupted.

You looked at him, aghast. “Who eats vanilla ice cream? That’s so boring!”

“I like it,” he told you with a small pout.

You bit your lip and sighed, looking up at him for a long moment. Your mind was clouded over since all the wine you had drunk was hitting you a little harder than you’d planned but you remembered thinking that Youngjae was so sweet, you would give up all the ice cream flavors in the world for him.

“Okay. I guess vanilla can be for lovely days,” you teased. “So now you have to make sure we get vanilla ice cream, since today is a lovely day.”

Youngjae grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

You managed to find a convenience store a few streets down and Youngjae went inside to buy vanilla ice cream for both of you. You sat on a bench outside and ate your ice cream, swinging your legs and chatting about random things. Youngjae was a little nervous in the beginning but once he opened up he became rather fun to be with. He laughed at you when you dropped your first ice cream on the ground. It was only when you almost burst into tears that he hurried inside to buy you another one. Youngjae liked you, but he wasn’t eager to see you cry again.

“Don’t drop this one,” he warned you lightly, his hand closing over yours to help you hold the ice cream cup. His fingers were warm and you smiled as he helped you eat it without your drunken butterfingers spilling it all over you. You enjoyed the attention and couldn’t help but admire how gently he helped you hold the ice cream and placed a paper napkin on your lap in case you spilled it.

“Youngjae,” you said suddenly.

He looked up at you and blinked. “Yeah?”

“You’re really sweet and caring and handsome. Why don’t you already have a girlfriend?” you blurted out.

Youngjae looked embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck. You stared at him, struck by how gorgeous this man was and how completely unaware he seemed to be of his own charm. You had never felt so warm and comfortable in someone’s presence before. Youngjae cleared his throat and his lips twisted into a small smile. “I guess I’ve never really found the right girl.”

You blinked at him. “I want to be your right girl.”

Youngjae stared at you as you leaned in to kiss him. Unlike the sweet peck that you’d shared outside Jaebum’s apartment this was a proper kiss. Your heartbeat thudded while your hands came up to slide into Youngjae’s hair and you pulled him down towards you. His lips pressed back against yours eagerly, tasting the vanilla ice cream and wine on your tongue and smelling your soft perfume. You were breathing hard when you pulled back and Youngjae’s gaze had turned from his sweet, friendly expression into something more dark and lustful.

“Are you too drunk?” he asked you doubtfully.

“No, I’m just the right amount of drunk,” you reassured him. “Please kiss me again.”

You’re not sure how long you and Youngjae sat on that bench outside the convenience store, just kissing and whispering while you leaned against each other. Youngjae was extremely attentive once he relaxed. He placed sweet kisses on your eyelids and your forehead that made you giggle and you both talked and laughed and kissed until the ice cream had melted onto the bench, completely forgotten.

“It’s completely dark,” he pointed out after a while. “We should head back to the restaurant…”

You both walked back to the restaurant where you realized that everyone else had already gone home. Their cars were gone from the parking lot and only Youngjae’s was left. He fished his keys out of his pocket and looked down at them doubtfully. “I’m not sure I should drive after all that wine. Should I call us a cab?”

You looked up at him for a moment, a sudden burst of confidence hitting you. You weren’t sure where it came from. You were normally extremely nervous around men and made sure to tread carefully. But Youngjae was different. Youngjae was sweet and warm and he made you feel safe instead of the other way around. You suddenly grabbed his hand, closing your fingers over his cellphone as he started to call a taxi. “Youngjae…” you said, biting your lip as you looked up at him. “Let’s not call a cab. Let’s stay here tonight.”

Youngjae blinked down at you, confused. “Here? You mean… in the car?”

You gestured towards the restaurant which was on the ground floor of a hotel. “They have rooms.”

His entire face flushed red when he realized what you were insinuating. You wanted to spend the night together in a hotel room and Youngjae knew the moment your lips formed an adorable pout that he was helpless to say no. He cleared his throat and looked down at you, heartbeat thudding as he nodded. You entwined your hands together and leaned up to kiss him once more.

“Okay. Let’s do that.”

--

Wedding Number Four: Jaebum

“Youngjae. Youngjae… Youngjae!”

Youngjae jerked his head up from his cellphone and blinked at Jaebum, who was frowning at him. He hadn’t realized that the older man had been trying to get his attention; he was too busy texting you. You had just sent him a couple of selfies with your dog and Youngjae was admiring how gorgeous you were, as well as how adorable your pet was.

“Sorry, hyung. What were you saying?” he asked, confused.

Jinyoung laughed. “Leave him alone, Jaebum. The poor guy’s in love for the first time in his life. He hasn’t stopped texting her since Jackson’s wedding. Clearly something happened there. Didn’t it, Youngjae-ah?”

Youngjae blushed and lied. “Nothing happened!”

Neither Jaebum nor Jinyoung looked like they believed him. No wonder, because you and Youngjae had spent a wonderful night together at that hotel. Even though it wasn’t easy for you both to meet often due to your busy schedules you had managed to have dinner a few times since and even caught a movie together once. Youngjae had been secretly pleased when you referred to yourself as his girlfriend the last time you went out together. He still couldn’t believe that he was dating somebody as beautiful and wonderful as you. You and Youngjae texted each other almost every day and nothing made him happier than seeing a notification from you on his phone.

“Yeah, they’re in that honeymoon phase,” Jaebum grumbled. “I went through it too. But it ends eventually and the women become monsters. Speaking of which, my fiancée is going to kill me if I go back home without having picked out a wedding suit. What do you guys think of that last dark blue one?”

Jinyoung tsk-ed. “Black looks classier, hyung.”

“Youngjae?”

“Uh, yeah. Black is good. The blue one is nice too.”

Jaebum frowned. “Do you mean that, or are you just saying it so that you can go back to texting your girlfriend?”

Youngjae looked up suddenly, eyes widening. “Hyung, I can invite her to the wedding, right?”

Jaebum looked like he was going to explode as he tossed the clothes hanger he was holding aside. “Yah! How many times do I have to say this? There will be no fucking wedding if I can’t pick out a goddamned suit by today! Are you two dickheads going to help me or not? Damn it, I should have brought Bambam instead…”

“Hyung, relax, we’ll help…”

--

You beamed as soon as you saw Youngjae, running over to him and throwing your arms around his neck. He laughed and hugged you back despite feeling a little flustered. Youngjae’s arms stayed around your waist as you let go of him and stepped back, admiring how he looked in his suit. You ran a hand down the smooth, dark material.

“Somebody’s extremely handsome today,” you teased him lightly. “Why do you keep looking better in a suit every time I see you? It’s like there’s no end to your charms.”

Youngjae blushed and leaned down to kiss your lips briefly. “You look beautiful,” he told you honestly.

You giggled and kissed him again despite a few of the wedding guests glaring at the two of you and your little display of affection. No matter how many times you saw Youngjae, your heart still skipped a beat as if every time was the first. He was looking particularly handsome today. You had called him up earlier that morning and begged him to style his hair up so that it revealed his forehead. Youngjae had sounded reluctant but finally agreed; now your cute and lovable boyfriend suddenly looked extremely sexy and you wondered how you were going to keep your hands off him.

Jaebum’s wedding was absolutely gorgeous. Youngjae told you in a low voice while you found your seats in the enormous abbey, that Jaebum had gone way over budget while planning it and his girlfriend had been so furious that she’d forced him to cut their honeymoon two days shorter than originally planned. You laughed at the anecdote and squeezed Youngjae’s hand. You were seated next to Jinyoung and his wife, both of whom greeted you warmly.

“I heard Bambam invited your younger sister,” Jinyoung told you with a casual smile. “I heard her arguing with Mark’s wife earlier, noona didn’t seem happy…”

You blinked. “Really? I haven’t heard about this. Why would my unnie have a problem if Bambam invited my younger sister?”

“She probably doesn’t think Bambam is a very good influence. He has a good heart but he tends to act first and think later, which causes problems sometimes. Maybe you should talk to your younger sister and tell her to be a little careful,” Jinyoung told you frankly.

You merely nodded and turned away. Jinyoung didn’t know your younger sister the way you did. She was just as much of a brat as Bambam and telling her not to do something would only make her want to do it even more. Besides, she had always been able to handle herself. You turned to Youngjae sitting by your side and smiled at him. You were much more excited to spend quality time with your boyfriend. You both sat with your hands entwined in your lap and watched the wedding.

Whatever arguments Jaebum and his wife might have had before the wedding, there was no doubt that they were madly in love. They both looked at each other with pure adoration in their eyes and you couldn’t help but feel extremely warm inside. Watching a happy couple promise to spend their lives together would never fail to make you happy… and for once, you didn’t feel quite so bitter. Instead, you felt extremely hopeful as Youngjae put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him.

“I’m happy for Jaebum-hyung,” Youngjae told you with a chuckle as the bride and groom kissed. “But to be honest, I’m hoping that we’re done attending weddings for a while. It’s getting kind of exhausting, going through the same routine.”

You smiled. “For once, I don’t have any wedding invitations left with me.”

“Yeah and I doubt either Bambam or Yugyeom are going to get married soon, so that leaves me with like a huge gaping hole in my schedule,” Youngjae explained. He looked down at you with an amused smile. “Wow, it’s so weird. I can’t remember a time in the last six months when I wasn’t helping at least one of the hyungs plan their wedding.”

You grinned and entwined your arm with his. “I would be glad to help you fill that gap in your schedule.”

Youngjae leaned down and kissed your forehead fondly. “That sounds wonderful.”

--

The wedding dinner was extremely entertaining.

Jinyoung was the best man and he made full use of the opportunity to poke fun at Jaebum, reminding everyone of his own emotional and tear-filled best man’s speech as Jinyoung’s wedding. You laughed along with everyone as Jaebum turned visibly red and looked like he wanted to die. Jackson gave a speech as well, by the end of which Jaebum had slid down in his chair and looked like he wished the earth would swallow him up. You spotted Jackson’s heavily pregnant wife scolding him lightly for making so much fun of the groom, but he merely kissed her on the cheek and laughed.

Everyone seemed extremely happy. Too happy, somehow.

Youngjae kept his arm around your chair and smiled at you whenever he saw you laugh. He fell a little harder for you each time he saw you and he was suddenly struck with the image of you in a bridal gown, sitting beside him and looking beautiful as ever. The thought was a little scary yet somehow exciting and Youngjae kept it to himself as he enjoyed the dinner.

As the meal neared a close, you were approached by your older sister who had wrenched herself away from Mark’s side to come and talk to you. She greeted Youngjae with a kind smile before turning to ask you if you had seen your younger sister recently.

“Uh, I can’t remember,” you admitted. “I think she and Bambam were sitting a few rows behind us at the ceremony… Is something wrong, unnie?”

She sighed but shook her head. “No, never mind. I just have this nagging feeling that those two are up to something fishy. Just let me know if you see her, will you?”

You nodded as she hurried back to her seat beside her husband. Youngjae squeezed your hand and looked at you, worried. His hand came up to caress your cheek gently. “What was that about? Is everything okay?” he asked you softly.

You shrugged. “Yeah, fine. I guess unnie just doesn’t like the idea of my younger sister dating Bambam. She’s always had a preference for quieter, more mature men and I guess loud and spontaneous Bambam doesn’t inspire a lot of trust in her. But it’ll be fine. They’ve disagreed before. I’ll just go home and play peacemaker once this wedding is over,” you said with a sigh.

Youngjae smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Ah, the struggles that the soft-spoken ones like us have to go through,” he joked.

You rolled your eyes at him. “You are not soft-spoken, oppa.”

Youngjae pouted. “Why would you say that?”

You giggled, leaning up to whisper into his ear while your hand slid onto his thigh and caressed the soft fabric of his suit. Youngjae stiffened when your lips brushed his ear and your soft hair tickled his skin. “Because we both know exactly how vocal you were at my apartment last week. Do I need to do what I did that night again to show you how loud I can make you?” you teased.

Youngjae flushed and his hand came to rest on yours, stopping it from creeping further up his leg. “Yah! Not here!” he hissed although he was laughing.

You giggled and withdrew your hand. “Okay, okay. Later tonight.”

“You’re scary,” he told you with a pout. “It’s not fair. You look so cute and innocent at first glance.”

“So do you. We were both fooled on that front so it’s no use complaining to me.”

Youngjae tucked a strand of hair behind your ear gently before leaning down to give you a soft kiss. The band had started playing nearby and many couples were getting up to dance, including the bride and groom themselves. You kept your hand on Youngjae’s thigh. He got more and more flustered as you whispered mildly suggestive things into his ears and after a while he suddenly grabbed your wrist and looked down at you with dark, heavily-lidded eyes. “Let’s get out of here.”

You laughed. “What do you mean, out of here?”

“I mean somewhere where no one can see us.”

You were surprised when Youngjae took hold of your arm firmly and stood up, leading you away from the dancing couples and out of the building entirely. It was deserted outside and rather dark as well. Before you could ask Youngjae where he was planning on taking you, he suddenly spun you around and pushed you lightly against a wall outside the building. His arms pulled you against him and his lips covered yours hotly.

You had to admit, Youngjae’s hungry kisses excited you. You loved the cute, cheerful and innocent side of Youngjae but you were definitely pleased to find out that he was hiding a darker, more passionate side that only came out when you pushed him a little. His eyes would narrow and his breathing become heaver as he whispered into your ear in a soft husky voice.

“Do you think you’re cute, playing with me and getting me excited like that?” Youngjae growled into your ear while he placed kisses down your neck. His teeth grazed your skin and you couldn’t help but gasp lightly. Youngjae’s hands were around your waist, one of them slowly travelling up your back and sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes,” you admitted breathily as his lips came down on yours again.

You pushed yourself against him excitedly. You had never made out in public like this, especially not at a friend’s wedding where somebody could come by at any moment and the two of you could get caught. You had always been too scared to do rash and risky things like that. But somehow, with Youngjae, you felt safe. You knew that he would never take advantage or go too far, you knew that your comfort was more important to him than anything else. You grabbed hold of your boyfriend’s suit lapels and giggled as you pulled him closer. Your lips danced together eagerly.

Youngjae’s phone buzzed.

“Shit,” he mumbled, keeping one arm around you while he dug in his pocket for his phone. He pulled it out to reveal the caller ID: Bambam. “Why the hell is he calling me now?”

You bit your lip. “Answer it. Is my sister with him?”

Youngjae held the phone up to his ear and shrugged. “Bambam, what is it? Huh? You’re where?” he demanded, suddenly releasing you and clutching the phone harder. You tensed as Youngjae listened to Bambam’s response. “Why did you take her with you… you’re getting what? Look. Stay there, don’t move and don’t do anything.”

He hung up and looked at you nervously.

“What’s happening? Is my sister with him?”

Youngjae cleared his throat. “They uh… they just ran away and are getting married, apparently.”

“What?”

--

Wedding Number Five: Bambam

“We have to tell somebody and stop them.”

You shook your head. “We can’t. My older sister would completely flip her shit if she found out about this. You don’t know how scary unnie can be when she’s mad. Besides, we can’t let this ruin Jaebum-oppa’s wedding. Imagine if we went in there and caused a scene and everyone went running over to stop Bambam from getting married? It would be our fault that their special day is ruined.”

Youngjae frowned. “It’s would be Bambam’s fault, if you ask me, but okay. We should go and talk to them ourselves first. Maybe they’re just messing around. Maybe they won’t really do it.”

You both hurried over to Youngjae’s car and he started it quickly, inputting the address of the small, non-descript church that your sister and Bambam had apparently escaped to during the noise and distraction of Jaebum’s wedding. You felt tense and worried. Why the hell would the two of them think it was a good idea to run away and get married in secret? Did they consider themselves Romeo and Juliet?

You sighed and leaned back in your seat as Youngjae peeled out of the parking lot. You could only imagine the sort of chaos this would cause once your older sister and your parents found out. They would never be okay with your sister marrying somebody like Bambam. Especially not without a proper wedding or any of the usual formalities.

“Do you think they’re drunk, or high or something?” you asked Youngjae nervously.

“Bambam sounded pretty sober to me.”

“I thought he was a playboy? That’s all I’ve heard about him. I can’t believe that he and my sister want to get married. They can’t seriously have thought this through, can they? They’re being stupid and reckless and we have to stop them from making a mistake, right?”

Youngjae’s fingers on the steering wheel were stiff. “Honestly? I have no idea.”

You groaned. “Fuck.”

“Let’s just go there and see what happens, okay? Don’t worry too much.”

--

You arrived at the tiny church to see your sister and Bambam waiting outside. They waved at your car as it approached and you stared in horror to see that your sister had already changed into a simple, cute white dress and was carrying a little bouquet of flowers.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” you demanded, your voice rising hysterically as you nearly leapt out of the car the moment it stopped. Youngjae reached out to grab your hand and calm you down but you couldn’t believe what was happening and you shook him off as you glared at your sister and Bambam, both of whom winced at your anger. “Are you two insane? When did you even leave Jaebum-oppa’s wedding? Do you think this is some kind of amusing joke?”

Youngjae laughed nervously. “Baby, calm down…”

You frowned. “Don’t tell me to calm down.”

Bambam piped up. “Noona, we can explain. Honestly, we just wanted-“

You pointed a finger at Bambam and frowned. “Don’t call me noona. I’m not your noona. What is wrong with the both of you? If you wanted to get married then why wouldn’t you do it like normal people by setting a date and inviting your families and maybe not by running away to a creepy, abandoned church?”

“It just seemed like such a hassle. We wanted to do it quickly and without a lot of fuss,” your sister told you with a pout. You were surprised when she came closer to you and grabbed your hand, her eyes looking straight into yours. You were shocked at how genuine her expression was. For once she didn’t seem to be joking around or playing. “Unnie, I love Bambam a lot. I’m not joking and I know what I’m doing. I know it’s hard for you to understand because you’ve always dreamed of a grand wedding and our older sister got married in such a beautiful place and with all our relatives and friends, but… we don’t want all that. We want it to just be the two of us. We don’t want to expose ourselves to people who are just going to judge us or criticize us. We prefer it this way.”

You stared at her. “You’re not making any sense. Are you pregnant?”

“God, no. I know you don’t agree with me, but… can you try and understand? Please? For me?”

You paused for a moment, confused. Youngjae was standing beside you and when you looked up at him he merely gave you a small smile. It’s your decision, his soft gaze seemed to tell you but he placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

Bambam cut in. “Noona, we’ve thought about this a lot. It’s not a rash decision, I promise. We’ve been planning this for a while now and we both know what we’re doing. We just need you both to be our witnesses for the official ceremony.”

You felt yourself crack. “I… I can’t… Mom and Dad and unnie would kill me if they found out I helped you two with this insane idea…”

“Please?”

You couldn’t deal with the pleading eyes staring at you. You had never been one to deny true love and something about this whole situation seemed eerily genuine. Taking a deep breath, you pointed a finger at Bambam and frowned. “If you hurt my little sister, I will track you down and cut your balls off so don’t even think about pulling anything funny.”

Bambam smiled. “I won’t, I promise.”

You turned and looked at Youngjae, who gave you a small smile and a slightly helpless shrug. His eyes were shining and you could tell that he was gently encouraging you to say yes. Damn it. If you were making a huge mistake then Youngjae would have stopped you by now, right? You took a deep breath and then looked at your sister.

“Fine. Let’s go in and get you two married.”

--

Youngjae squeezed your hand as you got back in the car after the simple wedding ceremony was over. He looked a little worried and he reached out to cup your cheek gently.

“Hey, babe. Are you okay?”

You bit your lip and turned to him worriedly. “We didn’t make a mistake, did we? I mean… they’re going to be okay, they’re not going to get the marriage annulled in a month or something are they? Did we help two people in love get married or did we help two kids who don’t know what they’re doing commit a foolish mistake?”

Youngjae took a deep breath and sighed. “Maybe we should give them more credit than that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Everyone wants different things. If they don’t want a huge wedding and they wanted to get married in private then… who are we to judge?” Youngjae wondered. He entwined your fingers together and leaned over to place a soft, gentle kiss on your forehead. “Love is different for everyone, baby. Maybe just being married is more important to them than having a grand ceremony and making a big deal out of it. We can’t tell them what to want or how to live their lives.”

You smiled at him. “You’re right. When did you become so profound?”

“I was always profound!” he told you with a laugh although he looked a little flustered. You beamed and suddenly realized how grateful you were to have Youngjae by your side. Filled with a sudden rush of affection for the handsome, kind and caring man sitting beside you, you leaned up and pressed your lips against his hard. Youngjae chuckled against your lips but let you kiss him.

“Why the sudden affection?” he asked you.

You smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know. I just realized that I’m really glad to have you.”

“I’m glad to have you too.”

--

Wedding Number Six: Yugyeom

You couldn’t make it to Yugyeom’s wedding.

It was apparently a rather scandalous event; Bambam was the best man and he’d taken his responsibilities with plenty of liberties. Youngjae explained to you that apparently bling was a mandatory part of the dress code and Bambam himself had stood at the entrance to the venue and handed out gold chains to the people who had failed to comply with the code. You were shocked that Yugyeom’s bride was all right with something like that… but it turned out that he was marrying a blind girl that he’d met back in college and she didn’t care since she wouldn’t be able to see what the guests were wearing anyway.

It was sweet yet slightly amusing. You only hoped that they had told the poor girl, even if she couldn’t see it herself.  

You had to work that day and your boss refused to give you a day off. It was the fifth wedding that you were attending that year and he’d grown a little tired of hearing your excuses. You’re not taking any more days off unless you decide to get married yourself, he told you firmly and you had called Youngjae to tell him that he would have to attend this wedding by himself. He whined a little bit but there wasn’t anything that could be done. You weren’t going to lose your job over something like this.

You came back home after a night of working late and planned to just take a shower and go to bed, when there was a knock at your door. You opened it and were surprised to see your boyfriend in a rather handsome suit. Youngjae beamed when he saw you.

“Baby!” he greeted you happily, stepping into your apartment to wrap you into his arms. You laughed and patted him on the back as he squeezed you. You could smell a little bit of alcohol and realized that he was probably tipsy.

“Hello, there. Had too much to drink, did we?” you cooed as you led him inside and sat him down on the couch. Youngjae bobbed his head in a nod, still smiling at you a little stupidly. You laughed and reached out to pinch his cheek. Youngjae was good at handling his alcohol so it was hard to tell when he was drunk, but once he crossed a particular limit he became extremely cute. “Do you want a drink of water, sweetie?”

He pouted and wrapped you into his arms, pulling you down beside him on the couch. “No, stay with me.”

“Okay,” you said with a smile and leaned up to peck him quickly before smiling at him. “How was Yugyeom’s wedding, then? I hope everything went well?”

Youngjae sighed. “It was really boring.”

“Even with Bambam there? And all the gold chains and sunglasses?”

“It was boring because you weren’t there,” Youngjae told you honestly, his voice a little bit slurred. He tightened his grip around you. “I felt so lonely and miserable for a long time and I wasn’t sure why I was feeling so down. Then I came out of the wedding and I sat in the car for a few minutes and then it hit me. I felt miserable because you weren’t there with me. I don’t like going to weddings without you.”

You giggled and rested your head on your shoulder. “I promise I’ll come to the next one. Is there even anyone left?”

“That’s not enough.”

“Huh?”

“The promise of the next wedding isn’t enough,” Youngjae told you firmly. “I want you to be there for every wedding. And not just weddings. I want to do everything together. We… we make a good team, right? Everything just seems so much better and easier and just more fun when you’re with me.”

You bit your lip and held back a smile. “I feel the same way, Youngjae.”

“Do you really?”

You nodded.

He cleared his throat and you were surprised when he suddenly let go of you and stood up. Youngjae kneeled down on the floor beside your couch and you watched as he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small black box. He held it out in front of you and bit his lip, looking at you nervously. His dark eyes pierced into yours and for a moment he looked completely sober, completely genuine. His fingers were trembling as he showed you the ring.

“Then promise me,” he whispered. “Marry me and be with me forever.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked down at him and nodded.

“Yes,” you said softly. “Yes, let’s get married.”

--

Wedding Number Seven: Youngjae

“Thank God this is the last one,” Jinyoung muttered.

Youngjae pouted as he adjusted his suit. You had called him the night before and insisted that he wear his hair up, so he had struggled to get his dark strands to stay in place with hair product. He wasn’t sure if it looked all right but it was too late to fix it now. He was already standing at the altar of the church and waiting for you to turn up. Youngjae took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down before glaring at Jinyoung.

“Hyung, that’s hardly fair. I addressed over 120 invitations by hand for your wedding. How can you complain at mine?” he hissed, hoping that none of the guests would hear him.

“It would be kind of nice if you hurried this one up though, Youngjae. My wife’s due date is coming up soon,” Jackson pointed out with a chuckle, from his own position. Youngjae stopped fumbling with his suit and turned to glare at his friends.

“Hey! This is supposed to be a special moment for me-“

Jaebum laughed. “Relax, you know they’re only messing around and trying to get riled up, Youngjae. Stop looking so nervous. It’s not like you have anything to worry about. The only one of us likely to get ditched at the altar on his wedding day was Bambam and he solved that problem nicely by making sure that nobody could attend his wedding.”

Bambam stuck his tongue out. “Hyung, you’re just bitter that your anniversary and mine are on the same day-“

Jaebum rolled his eyes. “Why would I care about something like that-”

“Would you guys shut up? She’s coming! Do I look okay, is my hair fine? Do I have anything on my face?”

Yugyeom beamed and gave him a big thumbs up. “You look great, hyung! Just go for it!”

Youngjae stiffened and hurried to his original position as the doors opened and you entered, hand-in-hand with your father. Youngjae felt his heart racing as he looked at you. You were beautiful and his mind went blank when your deep, sparkling eyes met his. You were giving him a shy smile. He gaped at you as you approached him and climbed up onto the altar to stand across from him. Your cheeks were flushed pink and you bit your lip.

“Hi,” you whispered with a flustered giggle.

“Hi,” Youngjae replied, beaming at you. “Nervous?”

“Why would I be? I have you.”

In that moment, as he looked at the woman who stood across from him in a gorgeous white dress and prepared to commit to spend the rest of her life with him, Youngjae was absolutely positive that he was marrying the right woman. He was madly, passionately and deeply in love.

And it had only taken seven weddings.

--

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 3X03 - Quite a Common Fairy

Well, I’m FAIRY certain we’re in for a good time today, and I hope you’ll agree!

(That pun works in two ways. I’m proud.)

And if you want to hear my non-pun thoughts, meet me below the cut! (Though who would ever want to read thoughts that don’t come in pun form? Those who do are not to be trusted!)

Press Release

In their continuing quest to find Peter Pan’s hideout and save Henry, Hook suggests tracking down Tinker Bell in the hope that she will lead them straight to his camp. Pan reveals to Henry why he has brought him to Neverland and in the Enchanted Forest, Neal has a plan that could transport him to Emma, but it would involve using one of Robin Hood’s most precious possessions. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was, Tinker Bell offers to help Regina improve her life.

General Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

So I like how Regina’s air has really changed in the opening of the flashback. The flashback before this, from what I gather, is “The Doctor” and you can see how the murder she committed there has affected her after the fact. It’s clearly darkened her, as depicted by the way Lana plays it (Her voice and posture, specifically), but what I like is how that affected her. She doesn’t want to be evil and takes a step back to see what she wants.

”He’s dead and I suffered. What you sent me towards wasn’t going to change that.” This line is fantastic because Regina’s right in a way. Meeting something new won’t change the hurt she’s already felt and is likely still feeling over Daniel’s death. That said, it’s appropriately framed as something she absolutely needed to do for her own sake. While the past can’t be changed, there can be a good future if you allow for it to come to pass.

“I no longer believe in you.” I still hold onto my headcanon about Blue not necessarily being evil, BUT by being such a bureaucrat, she sort of became a villain in her own right. Tink, Nova, Dreamy, and countless others all have their hearts in the right place and Blue just can’t (Or won’t) bend the rules to help them. While not completely devoid of redeemability, I can’t fault anyone for hating her. Her character is incredibly annoying, not at all a paragon or even an inspiration of goodness. She’s a Rubix Cube and finding out what circumstances will allow her to give one magic and advice is a puzzle (And not even a fun one). She’s also not especially engaging on other levels, making her importance in the series something of a dead weight.

Neverland

You really see how dark Neverland has turned Tinker Bell. From the costume design to her more flight-or-fight mannerisms portrayed in Rose’s performance, Tink’s character in Neverland is almost unrecognizable here to what we see in the flashback. It’s incredibly effective in showing the consequences of Regina’s decision. I love her wild eyes.

What an amazing episode for Regina! Her characterization here was simply fantastic. The episode doesn’t playing around with the fact that Regina...well, she’s not the greatest person in the world just yet. She eggs Tinker Bell on and makes snippy comments. But her choices are improving and that happens in a natural way. Her test to Tinker Bell is harsh, but Regina does it in a way only Regina would do. The way she challenges Tink’s potential to do bad is effective in showing how she still believes in her, making the tepid resolution they settle on work.

Enchanted Forest

“So because I know what it’s like to lose family, I should risk mine?” This sentiment honestly holds true in this segment so strongly. I get Neal’s frustration, but he is risking a four year old’s safety. The good thing is that it’s framed to give exactly the feelings that it solicits and Neal’s speeches do help a lot with the balance of sympathy. While I didn’t like Neal basically guilting Robin into using Roland to summon the shadow, it does make sense as a desperate move needed for him as a father. I do wish for that reason though that the speeches were more about Henry specifically. It would make the main conflict more of a relation to a father and his son, strengthening his bond with Robin. That said, the discussion of romance was nice and it did give way to Mulan’s storyline.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-David, get over your fucking machismo! You literally JUST got poisoned because of it!

-Fuck! A moving map! Pan is dastardly as all hell!

-Who doesn’t like apples?” “It’s a family thing.” Oh come on, Henry! I’m sure they’d be the APPLE of your eye if you just APPLE-y yourself and eat one! XD

-I like how Neal demonstrates the cleverness that helped him survive in Neverland and eventually escape through his deductions with Mulan. It’s a very logical process.

-ROLAND!!! BABY ROLAND! FIRST APPEARANCE! BEST EPISODE EVER!!! AWWWWW!

-Seriously, the casting department found the single most adorable kid in the world to be Roland!

-Neal...are you sure this is a good idea? He’s a baby, Neal.

-Not gonna lie, I’d try roast swan.

-”I’m the queen, but I’m practically a prisoner with a husband whose heart is still with his dead wife, and his insipid daughter.” Regina’s dynamic with Leopold, while undeniably abusive to her, fascinates me. This line makes me wonder if she has tried falling for Leopold and to a degree, succeeded. She’s bothered by Leopold still only holding feelings for his dead wife and being stuck in that position and I’m not sure if the next scene either strengthens this mindset or diminishes it.

-Rumple analogy of the diner and the feast is very interesting to me. It plays the darkness off as something predatory, more of a hunter than something to be sought. It makes sense because Rumple kind of did get stolen by the darkness in that he was unprepared to have to take it on and the consequences of that choice.

-I really appreciate that at least one of the fairies is actively acting as a suicide hotline!

-”But, if I had, here’s to good reasons.” That’s...really fucking dark!

-”It is possible to find love again.” I love this sentiment. Once can never rule out the possibility of new love! <3

-*Henry attempts to shoot Pan in the fucking chest* What a badass!!!

-*Goes to the fairies’ den* Show, you cannot throw that many colors at me AND spin! Talk about sensory overload!

-”My name isn’t green. It’s Tinker Bell.” So fairies have names. What’s Blue’s?

-Blue! Who died and put you in control of the fairies?! Because they were kind of an idiot!

-”Are you out of your mind? He’s four years old!” My sentiments exactly, Robin!

-”What did you do to her?” That line was delivered flawlessly! It’s so chill and it cracks me the fuck up.

-”Operation Henry.” Awwwwww!!!!!

-”Does anyone really own pixie dust?” “The fairies are quite proprietary about it.” Fairies are dicks. Or really, just Blue.

-”The beginning of your happiness.” I really applaud the carefulness of the show with lines like these. Robin isn’t the sole component of her Regina’s happy ending, but he is still part of it.

-I honestly forgot there was a standoff here between Tink and Regina and was thusly as shocked as the audience probably originally was!

-”A complicated history. That’s quite a diplomatic way of describing it.” Well, she is a queen and a bit more refined!

-How was there never an episode called “The Man with the Lion Tattoo?”

-You can see how well Lana plays Regina’s goodbye to Tinker Bell in the flashback. She starts out scared (As Tinker Bell suspected) and hesitant, but you see her Evil Queen persona come in, pulling off a wicked goodbye to ensure that she leaves.

-Blue, you are just the worst.

- “It’s too late for me.” ”Only if you kill me.” I wouldn’t even say that’s the point of no return. Half the people who came to Neverland have killed tons.

-Part of why I love season 3 is I love seeing groups strategize and work together and the payoff that comes with it. It’s such a satisfying sensation.

-So I love how Tink was so clearly gamed for tracking down for Regina but had NO idea about her companions! XD

-Felix says “Baelfire” so freakin’ creepily.

-You didn’t just ruin your life. You ruined his.” I actually hate this line. Robin’s life wasn’t ruined. Derailed, perhaps, but he was genuinely in love with Marian and Roland is the most precious child in the world!

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Mission to Save Henry - This arc is moving so smoothly along! So far, every episode has progressed this in a natural way that still feels like a lot of progress was made and here is no exception. There’s a real momentum to this season and it’s chugging along well. I feel like we’re taking a big step forward and it’s making for quite the nice walk.

Regina’s Redemption - Regina’s redemption this season is progressing also quite smoothly! Here, she’s a mix of herself -- kind of an asshole at times, but focused and genuinely trying to do better. I feel like Regina’s redemption is starting to come into its own here. It makes sense that there was some turbulence in late Season 2, and now, it’s more settled, making the growth more gradual and at the same time, quick.

Emma Accepting Her Parents - We only get a brief bit of this while exploring Tink’s pad, but it’s incredibly effective to help further bridge the gap between Emma and Snow. Lack, whether it be family or material possessions, is such a big component of Emma’s pre-Storybrooke life and to see how Snow dealt with that in the past was a clever move!

Favorite Dynamic

Emma and Regina. “So what did you do to her?” First and foremost, this line just cracks me in the casual way it’s brought up. Emma’s casual shrug and drinking-buddy tone is honestly funny. But continuing on, Emma and Regina share an amazing scene together. Both ladies have this genuine moment of kindness, all the while completely staying in character. It’s not overly friendly, but it’s friendly enough and focused enough to be believable and powerful at the same time. It also says so much about Regina. Regina’s throwing herself in danger and risking never seeing her son again and so quickly defaults to Emma taking care of him and saving him. It’s really meaningful!

Writer

Jane Espenson is up for her first episode of Season 3, and she does an incredible job here. The writing is smooth. Any episode that has three plots across three different realms has the challenge of balancing and weighing screen time and Jane makes the whole episode feel as smooth as peanut butter. It’s also smooth in the respect that this episode requires the characters to make bold choices and take hard chances (Ex. Regina letting Tink take her, Robin letting Neal use Roland to summon the shadow) and she makes the dialogue work for her so that these decisions don’t feel too harsh on the audience. That’s an admirable trait.

Rating

10/10. This was a really enjoyable episode. Tinker Bell’s introduction and Regina’s character development is great! It’s enjoyable seeing more of the characters working together and getting closer to finding Henry. I used the word “smooth” a lot in this review, and that’s because it’s honestly true. This whole episode feels smooth, from its development to its storytelling, it feels like driving on a freshly paved road, and given the broad strokes of what happened here that wasn’t an easy thing to do.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - Regina’s definitely getting those CS feels!!! And why wouldn’t she when there’s a COCONUT sharing between these two?!

Outlaw Queen - It’s interesting that the music playing in the background as Regina sees Robin’s tattoo is something akin to the wedding march. A lot of the same notes are hit, though it’s not a 1:1.

Swan Fire - Neal’s regret in his speech is really heartwarming! He wants so badly to get back together and make things right.

Sleeping Warrior - *Starts crying from the unrequited feels like a baby who just had their candy stolen*

Swan Queen - As said before, I really like Emma and Regina’s scene together! There’s a growing sense of trust between them now and it adds a heartwarming undertone to the scene to the melancholy overtone of Regina splitting off from the group.

-----

Thank you for reading and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales!!! <3

Next time, uggh, sorry for the tangent, but I can’t scratch my lotto ticket because I chewed my nails too much. Man, I really need to take care of this...nasty habit. ;)

See you guys then!

Season 3 Total (29/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (9/60) Kalinda Vazquez (10/40) Andrew Chambliss (10/50) Jane Espenson (10/30)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[syrupwit]

Letter for Chocolate Box 2017

Hello! Thank you for considering making something for me. I am not that great at letters, so please contact the mods or send an anonymous ask message if anything is unclear. Also! I’m probably not as picky as I sound.

In general, I like:

Femslash, slash, and gen (most of these prompts are f/f or m/m but I also like gen a lot!)

Pretty girls wearing pretty clothes

Supernatural creatures looking rad

Cool monsters 

Humor and crack!fic

Supernatural horror, especially ghost stories and cosmic horror

Isolated or "outsider" characters finding true friends

Powerful people/beings who are unusually loyal and attached to less powerful people/beings

Pining

Sexuality angst, whether it concludes with gay/bi characters being hopeful or determined and more comfortable with themselves or getting further entrenched in self-destructive spirals

Women being really important to other women, whether their relationship is overall positive or negative or conflicted or whatever

Unconventionally attractive characters/couples

Domestic slice-of-life with a slightly weird twist 

In general, I do not like:

Het as the main romantic pairing (unless it’s for Katanagatari)

BDSM (unless specified in a prompt)

M/f femsub. I know this is implied to be a DNW by the bullet points above, but this is a hard squick for me so I want to make sure that's made clear!

Romances where one character becomes a ghost over the course of the story (it's OK if they start out a ghost)

Issuefic

Onscreen rape/noncon (unless it’s Korse/Party Poison i guess)

Onscreen child abuse

Fandoms I requested:

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

“The Hound” (H. P. Lovecraft)

Katanagatari

Original Work

Revolutionary Girl Utena/Shoujo Kakumei Utena

Prompts/DNWs for Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

The only pairing I’ve requested is:

Korse/Party Poison -- Hero/villain! Post-apocalyptic dystopia! Mind control! Do Killjoys really never die? Has Korse ever captured Party Poison pre-music video canon? Is post-comics Korse imprisoned by B/L/I/N/D and does he then meet a brainwashed Party Poison? Or perhaps the characters have another past together, one that either or both have forgotten? (If you have a messed-up idea, please feel FREE to run with it for this canon.)

DNW: Child abuse. Also, although I am well familiar with the variety of ways that bandom and Killjoys canon have been integrated over the years, I would prefer it if the characters of Party Poison and Korse were kept separate from their bandom counterparts for any fills or treats made for me in this challenge.

Prompts/DNWs for "The Hound” by H. P. Lovecraft

("The Hound" can be read in its entirety here.)

Narrator/St. John -- When they're not busy stealing cursed amulets, examining the treasures in their underground collection of sacred objects treated disrespectfully as Goth memorabilia, or discussing the finer aesthetic points of their mutual ennui, what sorts of activities do these graverobbing hipsters get up to in that big empty house on the moor?

DNW: Necrophilia, guro, het (m/f).

Prompts/DNWs for Katanagatari

I fucking love this anime, occasional fanservicey shots of Togame and all. If you aren’t familiar with it, and you like or at least don’t mind anime, backgrounds that have more definition than characters(’ noses), borderline-supernatural fiction set in historical Japan, and outlandishly dressed people having slow, lengthy, at times philosophical conversations while ostensibly doing sword things at each other, then I recommend that you try it out! 

In any case, here are my pairing-specific prompts:

Togame/Yasuri Shichika -- Togame and Shichika being happy and enjoying time together ;__;

Hitei-Hime/Yasuri Shichika -- Post-canon, Hitei-Hime and Shichika are set upon by bandits and must dispatch them. These bandits don’t know what hit them!

Togame/Yasuri Nanami -- AU where Nanami, not Shichika, accompanies Togame on her quest.

Hitei-Hime/Togame -- Hitei-Hime and Togame matching wits pre-canon.

I also just think Hitei-Hime is super super pretty, and I love her character design. So... If you feel inspired to draw even a small or sketchy picture of her? I’d totally be pleased.

DO NOT WANT: Hitei-Hime/Togame/Shichika that posits Shichika as the focal point of the triad.

Prompts/DNWs for Original Work

My likes and DNWs are well specified at the beginning of the letter, so here are just prompts for the pairings listed:

Female Non-Humanoid Robot/Female Humanoid Robot -- Uh. Anything, honestly! What do they do? How did they meet? How did they fall in love? ...Robot sex?

Female Cryptid/Female Human -- Female Human gets lost in the woods and is rescued by Female Cryptid.

Barista/Vampire -- Hardworking Barista just wants to take out the trash so they can go home and wash the scalded milk smell from their clothes, but then they are attacked on the way to the dumpster. Who to the rescue but that slightly creepy customer who orders their own weight in coffee and sits in the darkest corner of the shop all day? (Why were they loitering in that alley anyway?)

Necromancer & Demon Summoner -- What is the relationship between these two? Are they friends? Friendly acquaintances? Professional rivals? Do they set up shop in different suites in the same aged, sparsely populated office building, and gradually come to realize that they work in similar fields? Do they totally fight a monster or some aspect of city bureaucracy together? Is there a regrettable incident where a ghoul called by the demon summoner wanders off and consumes some of the necromancer's employees? Or do they just trade professional anecdotes over a cup of tea?

Female Demon/Female Human -- A female graduate student, lonely and bored with being single, accidentally summons a succubus. But it works out!

Female Alien/Female Human -- Female Human is exploring some strange ruins when she encounters Female Alien. (If you wanted to make Female Alien a more Lovecraftian sort of alien, tentacles or gelatinous shapeshifting abilities or POWER TO INSPIRE INDESCRIBABLE FEAR or no, that would be awesome.) 

Prompts/DNWs for Revolutionary Girl Utena

I love Utena! What a great show and character. I love the movie too, and could happily expound on why I think it functions as a sequel to the anime series more than an AU, but this is not the time or place for that.

Some general likes for RGU fic and fanart:

Surreal tone

Absurdist humor

Roses

Beautiful uniforms and dresses /o\

RGU-specific dislikes/DNWs:

Explicit sexual content -- not for this fandom please. Implied is welcome!

Works focused specifically on how characters recover from abuse and trauma

Noncanonical character death

Juri or Utena paired with male characters romantically (though one-sided crushes are fine)

Prompts for each pairing listed:

Anthy/Utena -- Utena is an enthusiastic but inept barista; Anthy is her favorite customer.

Anthy/Utena -- Anthy, Utena, and Chu-Chu have a nice time at the beach. Or anywhere, really.

Akio/Touga -- Akio reveals to Touga that he is dead.

Anthy/Kanae -- Angst! I requested this pairing because of this fan theory about Kanae being a former winning duelist who chose to become Akio's princess, and Anthy having bitterness towards her because of that: http://rosepetalrevolution.tumblr.com/post/152521898992/  You don’t have to go along with the fan theory -- anything angsty with Anthy and Kanae would be great.

Juri/Shiori/Ruka -- (Please no Juri-->Ruka or Juri reciprocating Ruka's feelings.) Shiori cottons on to Ruka's feelings for Juri and suggests they all do an activity together, hoping to shame both of them with her knowledge. Things do not go as planned.

Nanami & Tsuwabaki -- Nanami rents a house for summer vacation. Tsuwabuki accompanies her. It turns out the house is haunted... or is it?!

Utena/Wakaba -- Wakaba gave Utena chocolate for Valentine's Day. What does Utena give her for White Day?

Touga/Saionji -- Touga is a ghost, and everyone has forgotten him. Then Saionji starts having strange dreams...

[rodrigohyde]

A Trip Down Cynical Lane With The Watch Snob

A Tough Nut To Crack

I am looking for a travel watch with a world timer function. Looking for one which is slightly casual/sporty with a water resistance of 5 ATM. My budget is 2000 USD, although I can wait it out and push it to 3500 USD as well. I know there aren’t many options at this price for a ‘mechanical’ watch, but no harm in asking.

Since I live in India, I am looking for one which displays one of the Indian cities [doesn’t have to display a major city in every timezone though]. It’s 5 hr 30 mins ahead of GMT. There are watches by Vacheron [Overseas World Time] and De Bethune [DB25], both of which are way out of my budget.

Related: Can't Decide On A New Timepiece? The Watch Snob Has Some Advice

As you have clearly discovered, this is a rather tough nut to crack. Mechanical multi-time zone watches generally content themselves with the ability to show a second time zone, only in full-hour increments and the addition of half-hour or fifteen minute increments requires considerably greater complexity and cost. In your price range I am afraid there are not a great many possibilities – in fact I can’t think of a single true Cottier-style world time watch anywhere near that, that also offers the functionality you seek. Given the increasing importance of your illustrious sub-continent for mechanical watchmaking perhaps the dearth of choices in this price range, is something someone will at some point address.

The only partial solution I can suggest is a wristwatch with a hand for a second time zone and – here is the key feature – an inner rotating bezel; the Bremont Alt1-ZT is an example. After resetting to local time upon arrival at your destination, you can use the inner bezel to read off home time to any offset you like.

Of course, if you were willing to accept something in a quartz watch, there are any number of them which will happily show you the time in every time zone there is for about a tenth of your minimum budget or less. Time zones are always an amusing thing to see watch brands struggle with – all it takes is one impulsive decision on the part of an attention-seeking despotic government and lo and behold, we have a new time zone which renders every attempt to make a comprehensive world time mechanical watch obsolete at a stroke.

Best Bud’s Birthday On A Budget

I stumbled upon your blog while searching for watches, and I decided to send you a message in hope I'll get an answer for my question.

My friend's birthday is near, and I wanted to offer him a watch. But I absolutely have no knowledge when it comes to watches. So I was hoping you could help me with some suggestions.

From what I could see on your blog, you always opt for big brands. But as I'm a 22 years old who just recently started working, I can't afford anything for more than 200 Euros . My friend has a Casio Edifice and a Lotus .

I read your query with some amusement. A Casio Edifice and a Lotus … one assumes you mean a Lotus watch but I like to think that you might have meant the flower, or possibly the car. Either would be an interesting juxtaposition with the watch, though perhaps less informative in terms of your chum’s tastes.

In any case, at $200 and under there are actually a number of interesting choices – nothing with any pretensions to haute horlogerie, you understand, but then you probably don’t know what that means anyway . From Casio we have of course the legendary, world-renowned timepiece extraordinaire known to all and sundry as the G-Shock, which has the glorious distinction of being the only wristwatch in history to have been tested by being repeatedly thrown out of a fourth floor bathroom window .

Your chum appears to have nothing in their possession that emits that seductive siren song known as ticking and may I commend to you, therefore, the ever-delightful and reliable wristwatch known as the Seiko 5, which has started many an unsuspecting watch enthusiast down the royal road to financial and mental ruin. Generally available online for less than one hundred dollars, and capable of running for many years without any human intervention.

Or you can do as many who love watches have done when trying to decide between two watches, and just buy both – one of the beauties of the Seiko 5 and the G-Shock is that for two hundred dollars, you can do that and still have enough left over for a bottle of something to celebrate.

Is It Hip To Be Square Again?

I honestly find your column entertaining, but I miss your thoughtful cynical answers recently. My wife and I are thinking to buy watch for our daughter who will soon enter into college for communication and also photography. She loves square watches and sometimes happily wears my wife's JLC Revero or Cartier Tank in certain occasions. But she wears none for her daily and let her Citizen Eco Drive Square collecting dust on her table. If we have to find a decent budget friendly square watch to "substitute"  for the Reverso or Tank for her daily use what is Snob recommendation? Thank you and we appreciate your recommendation.

Cynicism for its own sake is a mere pose which exists only to inflate the ego of the writer, and to persuade those who prefer stereotypes to thinking that the writer is sincere. It is a plague of discourse on the internet that to be rude by default denotes authenticity, and that to be thoughtful and measured shows at best spinelessness, and at worst, an undisclosed conflict of interest. I have always been, and remain, more than happy to deplore the deplorable but rewarding reader stupidity with attention, and shoddy watchmaking with the same, has over the last few years increasingly seemed to me to merely encourage the very same idiotic and unapologetically unthinking discourse and watch design which we would all be far better off without.

Also, the NOMOS Tetra is a very nice watch indeed and is, in fact square. It is an under appreciated model from the firm, and underexposed; should your daughter abjure the Eco-Drive for not being mechanical, the Tetra should fill the bill nicely.

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from Style channel http://www.askmen.com/style/watch_snob/a-trip-down-cynical-lane-with-the-watch-snob.html

[caesurabywriting]

do you have a drabble or headcanon of your otp: fooling the world & each other becoming engaged? pretty please. c: i'm curious.

because you said please + i’ll take any excuse to talk about them, i’m obligated to answer this. honestly i have way too many headcanons but i’m going to try and be concise and coherent here (+ huge apologies for how long this is anyway, but these two are hella complicated and i’m way too Extra for their angst)headcanons:

- they only get engaged because she claims she’s pregnant (spoiler alert: she’s not, but she’s relying on the fact that she can get pregnant soon after/in a close enough window for it to be true) - she uses that excuse to get his attention bc he seemed to be getting more and more distant and passive re: their relationship and she wanted to have a way to lock him down even if she has to heavily manipulate the situation to get her way. she’s like a milder form of amy dunne.- she’s also the poster child for abandonment and trust issues because her parents were awful, but it’s what brought them ~together~ in the first place. his ex-gf, viv, was her best friend. they all lived together in NYC, along w tom’s own bestie, for six years ( which is what #manhattan memoirs is about ) before viv one day abruptly moved out without an explanation, dropping contact with them both, abandoning their perfect unit of four. up until that point tom and tessa barely tolerated each other + had an ongoing banter thing going on. she had a short fuse and he loved to light it at any chance he got. antagonizing her was his favorite hobby. later on, they proceeded to ‘bond’ over angry and angsty hate sex to avoid being sad over her viv’s departure. but then feelings were caught. oops. anyways…- she’s a ~first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby~ kind of person, and he knows this. having a baby without being married first would be a huge deal breaker for her. if he declined stepping up to ask her to marry him there would be no baby and she’d tell him to leave (in theory, but between you and me i don’t think she could and would have come up with something more dramatic to get his undying attention)- it was very non romantic and went down more like a business deal discussion. she presented a serious ultimatum that needed addressing. she sprung it on him. essentially, pre-proposing his proposal. there was no ring or down-on-one-knee business. it was very much a highly staked version of ‘should i stay or should i go?’- she went out by herself after the ‘proposal’ and chose her own ring and everything. anything he chose would have been complained about and returned- he wanted/wants to propose again in a more romantic and thoughtful way because even though he’s pretty neutral about marriage, he sees it’s important to her and she deserves the best of things. alas, time kept ticking by and it seemed like he’d lost his shot, so he kept such plans to himself and lets her resent him a little extra for his apparent lack of involvement, as usual.i do not have a full drabble composed ( yet - but i probably will one day even though it will ruin my life ), but i do have various fragmented flashback/extracts from actual replies/past threads that may or may not make sense out of context but, regardless, i’ve collected them below if you’re interested on a glimpse of things somewhat engagement-related:

1. Their tables had done more than shift, they had been flipped and spun out. The undeniable truth tightly wrapped around his reality, pinning him transfixed in place. For better or for worse, those two lines had seen Tom’s uncontrolled fishtailing hitched onto a finite track. A duo of one dimensional pink had the power to change everything. Tom blinked over dilated pupils, his sentimental conscience sucker punched by a one-two hit of remorse and disquietude. It was all still etched into him like the grooves of a record, designed to be played on repeat at his masochistic leisure — Tessa presenting herself empty handed after already discarding the evidence, bearing the news with clutched hands and a penetrating gaze. Her voice, poised and decisively urgent: ’Stay.’ They were standing in the same room for the first time in three days. He’d avoided the sheen of her dark hair for the floorboards, ‘That’s not all you’re asking.’ His timbre noticeably wavered in comparison to hers. Like a whip, Tessa’s voice cut across with a warning flatline: ‘No. It’s what we are.’ Her eyes, calculating, soften magnanimously the moment he looks up, ‘You know your answer, don’t you, Thomas?’ 2. Her reveal had been a surprise. Admittedly, he was the only one to blame for that belief, his sense of awareness not particularly careful nor attentive during the time between an office shift ending and them falling from a fight into a bed together. In all it’s ‘A one time thing. We’re not doing this again,’ ( gradually switched out for ‘make it a one more time thing,’ ) glory. What had only ever been meant to be a secondary arrangement, intended to fill space, to pass time. The most beneficial way to end a combative argument. It was an exhausting interlude that matched the tone of his routine, wearing him down until he was nothing but fine grains. He had been confused, torn, and collectable.3. No celebratory graduation ceremony marked their progression as they impassively watched their shared temperature rise from ‘fling’ to ‘fiancé’, endlessly fluctuating between offensively heated and dishearteningly tepid throughout. Their anniversaries as somber as the sticker announcing it on the square of calendar. That catalyzing moment of history turned away from very deliberately. There were no sweet heart-eyed how did you two meet narratives to supply. Just Mr. Type-B and Ms. Type-A, two heartbroken kids susceptible to distraction. Amusing themselves until it became real. Maybe it did. Or maybe it was harmless and it was pure paranoia making it seem like a neon sign blinked above his head in an infinite line of alarmed exclamation marks.4. Wreckage was imminent no matter which way the pieces aligned. Home ( now ) was sleeplessly staring at a ceiling, deliberating in the dark and into the glow of the morning. Most of all, an internal pleading line of looped thought: Oh, God, let today be a normal day. Let him be normally nervous, unhesitating, and spontaneously happy. Let him not squint as Tessa walked away, the disheveled shadow of dark hair thrown down her back strongly evoking of another’s in poor lighting. Familiar shades of umber and taupe clashing with the lesser known notes of sangria and mint on her breath, the scent of rose in her hair. Tessa, an intended sojourn; a breathing space. An operating lightbulb to illuminate the dreary darkness of a vicissitude neither wanted to admit they were blind in trying to navigate. No one was ever prepared for a demotion into the limited edition status of another’s life when, viewed in the other direction, they’d presumably been branded essential. But it had happened, and Tessa was the only tangible reason not to go too far off an precipice that led to no tomorrow. Pulling at hands smudged with paint instead of cigarette ash in a desperate attempt at capsizing the insurmountable detritus of past imprints drifting throughout his system. Taking the brunt of all frustration, tremor, and every emotion banned from expression. Aggressively sidelining the only language he wanted to feel, touch, and listen to. Relearning a different one. Everything that had been absentminded and easy now requiring vigilance and humorless behavior. Yet as exhausting as all her short tempered glares and cavilling was, it had also been her strict accountability and interception between him and acts of stupidity that kept him together.5. She was a person to whom his surrendering murmur of ‘I love you’ often had the bitter aftertaste of something over-steeped. His palliative precursor, a promising commitment not to be cowardly, invitingly interchangeable with other prosperous phrases of three: I am here. I am staying. We are family. The woman who’d engaged in an unrequested initiative, yanking the dusty rug out from beneath their at-risk stale situation and pulling them into dazzling sunlight. He couldn’t have said no if he’d wanted to. He was prepared to try — faking it until it was true — just as he shouldered everything else. Maybe saying yes to Tessa, and in turn something that scared him, had been the gateway drug.6. There were many shouldn’t-ridden clauses, both spoken and not, between the two of them. Tessa and Thomas. One of the very first in-depth conversations they’d had ended with a shouldn’t. The first time he hadn’t felt the need to crack a prolonged, tensely held, silence with something deprecating. Instead, tentatively entering the humid air, a plea and a concern all in one: We shouldn’t do this, it’s too soon. Then, only two days later: we shouldn’t stop, I can’t do this alone. And the rest fell into natural order, the reoccurring theme of expectations fallen short: He shouldn’t come home so late. She shouldn’t have to ask twice. We shouldn’t talk about that. The clarity of her voice in his head was almost identical to a certain other someone’s. A different inflection, a different time — but just the same; a damning memory able to be plucked from the recesses of his mind at the most inconvenient of moments. Tessa’s censorious commentary was never far behind. He’d been consumed by it in slowly advancing increments for nearly ten years. In the beginning, a day-to-day routine of merely pretending he was listening to her as he dotingly observed the accompanying figure that she’d arrived with. More recently, her unimpressed narration wove through the fabric of any of the romantic or couple-y things they tried to do. Tom, begrudgingly following her into the overcrowded abyss of whatever public outing she’d pre-arranged, always far too absentminded, staying alert for all the wrong reasons. Looking down to check on even the slightest vibration of his phone — a problem? A meeting? A respite? — whilst completely avoiding having to provide any input on Tessa’s newly favorite subject ( it rhymed with bedding ). Their verbal tennis matches, a ceaseless tit-for-tat game of passive aggression, could run steady laps around everything else they did. It was almost an entity of it’s own. There was Tom, there was Tessa, and there was that low pressure that hung in the atmosphere whenever they entered into the same room as if someone had made tasteless a joke at a funeral. The one beam of hope through it all was the fact that, admitted to or not, they knew each other too well. Despite what they withheld from one another — even though, if presented the same card drawn during a Rorschach Test she’d see the shape of a book where he’d see a pint of beer — they could never return to being strangers. Getting to know her had been a muffled process, a slowly sinking feeling. The diluting of a strongly flavored concentrate with hot water. Three parts scathing to one part cordial. Mild enough to eventually be widely palatable as opposed to the too-potent original double dose; the sort of thing that appealed to rush-seeking junkies and hyperactive children and those who fell somewhere in between.