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fireemblems24 · 3 years

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Post Grondor Field AM Analysis

I'm prefacing this by saying that I'm still not sure I can write a good analysis of this scene for two reasons:

1. I don't know what comes after, and

2. I'm very emotionally involved in what happened.

But I tried my best. One thing is for sure though, what happened in Grondor in AM was an incredibly significant turning point for AM and Dimitri and my thoughts and analysis on it will definitely expand as I keep writing about and playing the game.

Part of me is just so happy I got to see Dimitri's supports, have the inevitable turn around, and get to do things like tea and dinner time again that it's hard to be objective about this scene.

And by "this scene," I don't mean that actual fight at Grondor, but everything from Fleche's attack to Byleth's words in the rain later.

It wasn't all about Byleth . . .

Given how poignant Dimitri's character arc has been so far, I had a deep rooted fear player-pandering would ruin it. Byleth, as a concept, isn't bad, but too often the heaps of praise feel underserved and other things (like Claude's intelligence, Edelgard's relationships with everyone else) get ignored to make more room for player-pandering.

Thankfully this did not happen. Byleth, throughout the early chapters of AM's part 2, failed to reach Dimitri. And, honestly, seeing Byleth actually struggle for once has done wonders for how I view her character. Still, I worried that player-pandering-power, rather than something that felt earned, would cause the inevitable eye-opener for Dimitri.

But it wasn't just Byleth. Fleche's vengeance kicked everything off, what veered Dimitri away from his fate in other routes. He accepted his death at her hands, not bothering to defend himself. Rodrigue stepping in the way and his parting words forced Dimitri to confront things he'd ignored. Throughout AM so far, people have posed questions to Dimitri who refused to answer them because he didn't want to face what they asked. But Rodrigue dying for him, spending his final words telling Dimitri to live for himself - combined with Fleche's attack - forced Dimitri to confront things he avoided. It wasn't until after all of that when Byleth steps in.

And Byleth didn't "fix" him either. Dimitri's supports show a young man who's still very much struggling with his mental health, poor self-image, his previous actions, and wondering if he deserves not only to live for himself - but if he even deserves to live. Byleth didn't hand-wave Dimitri's problems away.

Everything about the scene is stronger because it didn't fall back on player-pandering, but more earned, realistic, and dramatic actions and consequences - including Byleth's involvement which felt far more earned than usual because of prior failure.

But I wish Dimitri's friends played a bigger role.

Not everything was perfect though. I wish we got a little more than we did from Dimitri's house mates - especially his childhood friends Sylvain, Ingrid, and extra special mention to Felix and especially, especially Dedue.

Throughout all of AM, none of the above mentioned characters feel utilized to their full potential. This isn't a problem exclusive to AM, and by all means it's far from the biggest offender, but given how close all the ties are in AM, it's felt when it's not there.

I still don't know what exactly I would've done with them. Maybe I'd need to make the game an actual novel to do it, and you can't forget how perma-death has historically held back games at times, limiting major moments to a select few "retreat" candidates.

Still, though, getting a bit more from Ingrid, Sylvain, Felix, and Dedue would've made the scene even more powerful.

I actually really liked the scene in the rain.

I haven't made it a secret that I dislike Byleth. Or maybe disliked is more accurate. Lately I've been rethinking my stance on Byleth, in part because I've heard from people who like her or found ways to make her work and from my own thinking about the game while planning future write ups.

I don't think it's Byleth I really dislike, but the player-pandering. Separating the two isn't easy, but it's easier since I've starting coming around to seeing Byleth as her own character.

There's been a few moments that made me care for Byleth, and this scene in the rain was one of them. Because she didn't just fix everything. She tried and failed for months to reason with Dimitri, and despite everything she never gave up on him or failed to keep offering her hand.

I'm not going to lie. I got all the bubbly, heartwarming, heartbreaking feels the writers wanted me to in this scene. Seeing Byleth reach for something and fail, and then finally, finally get through was rewarding in a way many of Byleth's prior accomplishments aren't because this one felt earned. And by God did she earn it.

Some people will likely disagree with that last point, but I disagree with them. She asked Dimitri hard-hitting questions, forcing him to come to unpleasant conclusions rather than trying to force him into anything. She kept Dimitri from veering to far off course, even at expense to herself when she killed Randolph. She saved Dimitri from Fleche when he refused to save himself. She quietly supported him, coaxing out the good she knew was still there and refused to give up on.

I'd never in a million years say someone in real life should put up with Dimitri's toxic behavior and verbal abuse, even considering his extreme trauma and aggravated mental illness. But seeing someone fuck up so badly still get forgiven, still get supported, still struggle but honestly change for the good, still get loved, start to accept and forgive himself through the power of love and forgiveness from others is very powerful, especially since media so often downplays those "softer" things as weakness in comparison to the "badassery" of ambition and stoicism. Using Byleth, who previously had little experience with feelings, who was encouraged to experience them in healthy ways by Dimitri, return the favor isn't really the worst choice.

It's cliche, but cliches aren't always bad.

The mentor dies. Redemption in the rain. Revenge against the protagonist's actions opens their eyes. Etc . . . This scene was chuck full of cliches, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Tropes serve an important narrative purpose because a writer can rely on them to convey a message to the audience that either saves time or sets them up for something unexpected or even expected. Fire Emblem has always and will always be incredibly cliche and full of tropes. It loves tropes so much there's in-universe ones that make some unit or character discussions sound like a foreign language to people outside of or new to the fandom, talking about "Ests" and calling someone a "Camus."

What matters is if a story pulled something off well, not if it's terribly unique. A mentor dying is powerful because it forces the student to grow. Redemption in the rain is high symbolic of water washing things away + the somber atmosphere rain creates. Someone trying to get revenge against a character provides an eye-opening experience about the ripple effect of their actions. We see these things in fiction all the time because they work.

All the tropes worked like expected in this scene. Using images instead of cut scenes did make less of an impact, but more on that later.

Tl;dr: There's nothing unexpected or terribly unique about what happened. It was honestly painfully predictable, but that doesn't make it bad and is in a series that does this all of the time.

The voice acting carried because those images can't.

A major downside to this scene is that it used vague images instead of a cut scene. I get that budget and time were likely concerns, but many cut scenes from earlier in the game seem rather trivial. Did we really need that dance one? Really? I don't think so.

This was a hugely important, action heavy moment. Using one or two still images to convey everything that's happening and all those emotions, really makes it less than it could've been.

That said, the voice acting saves it. I've raved about how amazing Chris Hackeny is as Dimitri, so nothing new here. Rodrigue's and Fleche's VAs also did a fantastic job. No one oversold or undersold the emotions. Even without the cut scene, you felt what happened thanks to the skill of the actors. This scene would've been so much harder to engage with without them, if this was an older FE game where all you got was text. This is 100% one of the moments highly elevated by the decision to have a fully voiced game and choosing high caliber talent (let's not talk about Radiant Dawn's voice acting).

Questionable support timing.

One issue I had came right after the scene when I viewed Dimitri's supports. The nature of some - like his with Raphael and Alois - didn't quite line up with the character I saw in dialogue right after. I wish they staggered them a bit more or got picker about what you could get in part 1 or 2.

This isn't limited to Dimitri either. In the same support batch, I also got a Marianne B support where she still had no confidence or self-worth. And then like 10 minutes later I talk to her in the monastery and she mentions about how seeing all the death in Grondor made her value her life even more.

In the past, I've also received entirely valid opinions that Dorothea in part 2 is hard to understand because she's cherry and flirty in her supports, and morose and hates the war in her monastery stuff, making her seem inconsistent.

It's a bit jarring. It's not really an issue for characters who don't change much like Edelgard or Raphael, but even for characters with more subtle differences than Dimitri, Marianne, and Dorothea - like, say, Lorenz - you get a lot of weird stuff because of supports. I just think Dimitri's stands out because he's a main character with a really prominent, important turning point for his growth.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #azure moon #fe3h #fe16

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eorzeasntm · 6 years

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ENTM Tumblr Cycle 10 Round 8 Results

For the final round this cycle, I asked the models to show off their All Saint’s Wake costumes! The usual cosplay round rules were thrown out and our models could go for something spooky on their own, or pick a more well known costume to wear.

The models all picked some great costumes, but the winner of our All Saint’s Wake costume contest this year was:

Nadede Lasalle!

What a fun way to finish out the cycle! The judges felt your costume, composition, and pose were all in perfect keeping with your inspiration source.

Since this was the last round of the cycle, this was our model’s last chance to earn points for the final tally.

To the cast of Cycle 10: You all have been the friendliest, most honest and fun cast that I’ve worked with yet (including all the times I’ve competed and judged) and I’m so glad that all of you have participated. Everyone is welcome to audition again for future cycles, and to continue sharing the love on the ENTM Discord.

You are also the final Tumblr Cycle to crown a “top model” - and that winner will be announced shortly here on Tumblr!

In the meantime, our judges have the final set of critiques as well as parting words for the models below.

Judge Kusuh

To start: All of you, great job this cycle. This is my first time judging an ENTM cycle and it has been a wonderful experience made even better by the talent and hardworking attitudes you all posses. Do me a favor and look back at the first shot you submitted to this cycle, and now look at your final. I guarantee that you will see a very noticeable difference between that shot and the current one. Every single one of you should be proud of what you've learned and accomplished. I hope to see all in future cycles of ENTM, or at least on the discord! Now! On to the final critiques:

Adam: Starting off, this image gives me some very creepy vibes. This is not someone I would want to encounter anywhere that wasn't well-lit, and even then I would hesitate. Monotone was an excellent filter choice here, as it gives off a spooky night aesthetic. Your facial expression is also top notch, as well as your choice of location. I....honestly don't have a lot of nitpicks this week for you. The simplicity of the shot is its greatest strength, but if I had to nitpick (which I do) I'd say that the simplicity of the shot is also its greatest weakness. Remember, when there is not a lot going on in the shot, the background becomes that much more important. You choice of area was excellent, but my eyes are drawn away from you after the initial shock, and are drawn up to the floating tower in the background. I'm left wondering, why is that there? Just something to keep in mind. Your shots these past weeks have always been something I look forward to, and I was always interested to see what new take on a theme you came up with. Great job, and I can't wait to see where you go with your new skills!

Chee: This is hands down the most accurate Lara Croft cosplay I have seen in game, and I have to give you immediate props for nailing the look! Your choice of location was also great! I rarely seen Qarn used as a "ruins" area and I think that's a shame- it's got such great potential! Your action pose does well to pay tribute to the Tomb Raider herself; you look like you're on a very dangerous mission and are ready to kick and shoot anyone in your way. Here's my parting suggestion for this image: you've got a great angle for capturing and framing dynamic poses, now it's time to play with zoom and lens length. In gpose, the scroll zoom and the camera zoom you adjust in the menu are two different things, and that can lead to some really interesting looks! For example, with a similar pose, set the menu zoom to 0, and then zoom all the way in with the regular zoom. This will set you up for a very movie-like dynamic shot by messing with the perspective. It's really hard to describe in text, though, so I can only encourage you to go give it a shot! Your shots each week have always been true works of screenshot art, and you really push what can be done within the bounds of the gpose system, making it seem limitless. Keep it up in your future works!

Lantis: Can't. Stop. Showing. This. Screenshot. To. Everyone! Seriously. I love the dance posing the most, it really gives the sense of this being an action pose, and that I'm actually looking at a still frame in a music video. You've also done well to make sure you stand out compared to your extras by making sure that their outfits don't outshine yours. The film grain filter was also a good touch as a callback to the original music video. You went above and beyond with your commitment to the source material, you didn't just use the outfit, you made sure everything matched! Here's my final suggestion for this image: you are still pretty dark for being the star of this show! Very closely placed lights at a low level should be enough to spotlight you while keeping your backup dancers out of the limelight. You've improved so much over the past few weeks, you're clearly listening to what all the judges have had to say. Keep taking screenshots and keep showing the world what you can do!

And now, here are my parting words for all the models:

Nadede:You are another one who always brings unique takes on the theme each week, and it's always amazing to see! You've really nailed the background effects with this filter, and you clearly have an eye for the small details! Ni'ko: Never ever did I expect to see someone cosplay RuPaul! You are excellent at making sure your shots have a story and drawing the viewer into the world you have created. Keep it up!

Lily:Every week you've had your shots planned out to the finest point and detail, and this week is no exception! Be very proud of what you do, and keep using that attention to detail to make your shots even stronger and you grow!

Cowbot: You've legit surprised me every week! Each week you've stepped up to the challenge and grown from your critiques. You know how to take advice and apply it immediately. This shot is 100% the crown jewel of your growth over this cycle, and you should be very proud. James:You are one of the models that also pays very close attention to the story you are telling, and each shot brings a smile to my face, and you always know how to hit the mark for a great stab of emotion or feeling in your shots. Keep going and sharing what you have!

Ysildor: You have an amazing eye for framing and poses. I can always tell at a glance what each character is feeling, and what the overall "mood" of a shot is. You always make excellent use of the space you're given, and that's a skill that has only grown in these past weeks. I'm looking forward to the future!

Azalea:You're another model who has improved by leaps and bounds this cycle! Every week I would look at a shot and instantly see that you took your suggestions from last week and put them to work! Be proud of how far you've come, and use that momentum to keep going further!

Wren:You have a knack for unique takes on the themes given. Over this competition, I can see that you've put yourself outside your comfort zone to really make your shots pop and move to the next level! Thank you for sharing your work this cycle!

Haila:You have a sense of artistry in each of your shots that I feel can only come from lots of practice and work. Each shot looks like it has taken weeks to perfect, way before the theme list was announced! Like everyone else, you can only go up from here. Thank you for coming to this cycle to join the ENTM community. Rymm: You are another model I would like to praise for always applying your critiques each week! Your shots always have an excellent sense of mood and a great execution of technique. You've improved so much over the past few weeks, great job!

Ona: You have shown a drive and willingness to improve at a level I haven't seen in a long time! You got where you are by the amount of hard work you have taken each week into improving yourself and your techniques. That drive is only going to make you stronger, so keep it up!

Judge Rongi Pongi

Cowbot: You've produced some of your best shots in this cycle for sure. Rounds 2, 4, and 8 were a stand out for you! I know you struggle with your size as a lalafel, so definitely work on zooming in on your character to really boost their presence. In a lot of rounds this cycle you were just too far away from the camera. Your focus on scenery and background though shows that you know how to take a strong screen shot! You just need to work on the most important aspect of the screenshot (for this type of competition) which is you! Definitely look into cycles past, and study how your fellow lalafel take screenshots! I think you have a real passion for this, and you take every critique and use it to grow. I am excited to see you again in future cycles! Good luck!

James: Throughout the cycle you've shown that you have a knack for setting up scenes and balancing them within the frame of your shots. Round 1, 3, 4, 5, 7 and 8 's compositions were really great. I wish we had seen more of that in your other rounds as well. I'm not sure if you were using a certain filter during the first half of the cycle, but it gave all your shots this light and airy dream color that made your images less sharp than your competitors. Your Round 7 shot was SHARP! This round 8 shot just didn't scream creepy or halloween to me, so definitely watch your theme-matching! If you compete in future cycles, I'd watch your use of filters and background choices. With your ability to set up scenes, I think you can go really far. Good luck!

Wren: I love unexpected cosplays like this one and not only is the outfit choice perfect, but the location is as well. One of my favorite shots of the week. Amazing way to end the cycle! Over the course of the cycle, you really hid your face a lot using abilities and a backshot. We finally saw your face clearly in Round 4, but in Round 5 it was concealed again. It wasn't until Rounds 6, 7, and 8 that you started zooming in on your face. I really wish you had done so sooner! In those rounds, your shots were some of my favorites. Looking at them all together at once, you are doing almost the same expression in each one, so I would watch out for that in the future. If you ever compete again, don't be camera shy! When you zoom in on your character you really shine! Maybe you are more into ability shots that show off the flashly abilities, but save those for action/battle rounds that specifically call for them. I hope we see you again in future cycles because I see a lot of potential! These last 3 weeks showed that. Good luck in the future!!

Judge Vederah

Halia: From a glamour-build standpoint, the main pieces you chose to recreate Scathach Skadi we're top notch. I love that you seemed to have kept the overall design structure in mind when selecting the pieces (i.e. the high neckline, slightly off shoulder, and vertical stripes of the top with the criscross pattern in the boots.) From a screenshot perspective, however, this image fell a little short for me. If you intend on showcasing the glamour, you cannot allow any part of it to be cropped. All it would've taken is the camera to be pulled out further away from the character for us to really get a good look at this glam in all its splendor. It would've been one thing if the backdrop was very plain or would've taken away from the image- but I almost like the background as much as I do the cosplay. I just wish you would've let us see more of it. Nadede: There's a tricky balance when it comes to in game cosplay. You have to pick elements of the character's outfit that you find the most important to replicate and allow yourself to compromise on some things while working with the vast (but limited) glamour options within this game. I think the choice of chest piece for this was perfect. We've got the high neckline with the slits along the thighs- two features this look would have to have. Personal preference would've rathered the lace details on the thigh-highs that you'd get from the Songbird skirt since there are so few items in this game that have actual lace on them. But as I said that's strictly just personal preference. Screenshot composition here is just as nice as the glam. I love that the character is in action without being muddied by too many spell graphics. I love the neutral color scheme and the lighting--- and that pencil effect really worked in your favor here. The image itself looks like it came from actual game concept art. Really visually interesting.

Judge M (missing)

Judge Kai

To all models: It has been a pleasure to look over your images every week, seeing how you improve from week to week, and you have!

Ni'ko, I love your tendency for a bright pop of color and feel like this last image was so very you!

Cowbot, you get better and better every time I see your images and it really looks like you have a lot of fun!

Wren, I loved seeing you go from far away shots to closer shots that showed the beauty of your character!

Haila, you have such interesting and dynamic shots. From your dark and stormy to this week, I love seeing your ideas!

Azalea, I feel like you're always pushing to create something beautiful and interesting and it pays off!

Lantis, you do an amazing job with your action shots, and I loved seeing them week after week! Definitely a strength!

James, I loved some of the ideas you came up with this cycle, and will say your summoning one was a favorite of mine!

Chee, you do a great job at changing the mood and feel of your images from week to week. Always excited to see what you'll do!

Adam, you impress me from week to week with the ideas you come up with, and ever shot just seems to get better and better!

As for my critiques:

Lily: First off, I love this game and I'm happy you did it. I think this is a great shot, and I love how it's almost scene for scene the same as the game! From the outfit to the enemy wandering away, you have done a great job fitting every little nuisance into this image. I mean, seriously, you even have the pose and that is a commitment to detail! It could have been a touch brighter, but overall great job! It's been fun looking over all of your images this cycle, and thank you for all of your lovely shots!

Ona: This is lovely, and while I knew what you were going for, the quote just nailed it home! I love the lighting in this, it reminds me of moonlight filtering throughout the room. I also love how lost and worried your character looks. it was perfect for setting the scene. I'll admit I didn't see the wolf at first, but when I blew it up to really look it over I had to giggle! This is a great shot, and I think you did a wonderful job! Thank you for being part of this cycle, it's been a pleasure!

Ysildor: I really love this game, and I found it amusing that two different models did the same game, and gave to totally different feels. From the background lighting to the set up of the scene, I think you did a great job overall with this image! I do which that you were turned a bit more to the camera so we saw you a bit better, but the feelings I get from this image are amazing. I've seen you improve throughout this cycle, and to me, this is your best one yet! Great job and thank you for joining this cycle!

Judge M’Telhigo

First of all. Whether you won a round, the entire thing, or neither one. You are still a winner. So many people would have convinced themselves that they couldn’t do it or simply give up. All of you stayed with it.

This is my last round being active with ENTM for the foreseeable future and maybe for good. I am fairly certain that I will be getting a job that I have been pursuing and would love to have, but will kill my work/life balance for quite some time. I am happy if you all be the last group that I am active with!!

Ni’ko – I like the pose and while I have never watched Ru Paul, from what I know, this would be a pose that she would strike. While she also has a pink background, her dress is a deep blue which really sets her apart from the background as well as her bright hair color. You have so much pink going on in your picture that I think it overloads it a bit. Adding in that it seems that you have a lot of white light on yourself, and your outfit is also pink/purple, I do think your change to blonde hair was a very good change and I agree with it. No matter what anyone says or thinks, you have to be who you are and make your pictures speak about that. If you do that one thing, you can’t ever have a bad picture day.

Azalaea – OMG, I remember watching them. Lmao. I really liked the PowerPuff Girls. I like quite a bit of what you are doing with this picture. It was among the gaggle of pictures that I had to take some time to sort out because I liked them all! While I kind of dislike the inversion of Bubbles and Buttercup bothered me a very small amount, the only thing that I wished was for Bubbles to be in the same pose as Buttercup. I think having both of them in that jump pose would have been a very nice addition. Something with your hands up too would have been nice but not really a big deal. Regardless, I liked this picture very much and you made me smile so for that, thank you.

Rymm – Ooh, spooky picture. I like your coloring very much! I think you nailed it on outlining yourself very well but I think it may have been a little too much, I had some difficulty making out your details. Just a smidge more light, but not much could have helped with that, I am not sure what the white thing next to your hand is and what is its significance? I really wanted to see just a tiny bit more of what is going on behind you since I can almost see it; maybe full dark behind you could have been better but would create too much dead space too. If the only real thing I can talk about changing is your outfit, then you know it has to be good!

Honorable mentions this week:

Wren – I am so happy to see that you are continuing to show us your pretty character. You listened to our advice and critiques and adjusted to that. Not everyone would take the criticism as well and I hope you compete again sometime soon.

Nadede – I really like some of what you have done this season. I especially like your entry this week. I like how you pop against a very colorful and varied background. I hope you win this week!

Ona – Out of everyone, you were the only person to ask us directly what we liked and disliked. I can see that you listened to each and every one of us and you won the last round, you should be so proud of that! I also hope to see you come back again too!

Even though I only mentioned them specifically, I hope everyone that wants to compete again does so. We are a community based group and can’t have a community based group without a community. A lot of that comes from the models, which are all of you.

Thank you for participating and sharing all the screenshots. I appreciate them.

#ffxiv #entm #eorzea's next top model #entm tumblr cycle 10

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maxhoemo · 6 years

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prompt: renaissance au

ship: maxian

Do you ever get the feeling that someone is watching you? Max, sipping tea at an outdoor Cafe, was suddenly overcome by such a feeling. It was most unusual. Max, the son of a wealthy tradesman, was at one of his most frequented spots in the city, and had never felt the eery sensation here before. He glanced around in all directions, trying to determine whether his suspicions were accurate or not. He saw nothing, but couldn’t shake the feeling. Still, he decided to go back to his drink and book. He was sure, after the Black Death only a few years ago, unexplained anxiety probably ran high among most people. Surely, he was just a victim of such foolishness. The mind playing tricks, as it so often does. He paid it no more mind, going about his normal routine.

He paid and headed down the sidewalk as he always did, the feeling coming back. He glanced around as he had before, now realizing he was in fact being watched. Stared at in fact, by a man sitting under a fountain with a book in hand. Was he pretending to read it? Max stridently marched over to confront him. “Why, may I ask, are you staring at me?” he asked sternly, looking down at what he clearly identified now as a man of much lower-standing than himself. “I do not appreciate being treated as a free source of entertainment....”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, honestly. You stand out among all those other people, you know that?”

Max raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m an artist,” the man explained. “I’m always looking for inspiration, and when I saw you I just had to draw you. Your eyes, they sparkle in the light, but there’s so much sadness behind them. The way your hair falls around your face, and your eyebrow arches when you read. I find it all fascinating.”

Max was silent for a moment, lips parting as he gave the other a quizzical look. Perhaps it was all a little strange, but the way he spoke of him reminded him of a musician he once knew. An oddly familiar comfort. “You mean, I inspire you to create art?”

“Yes, exactly. I was on my way to an odd job, but I just had to stop when I saw you.”

“Let me see what you’ve drawn then.” Without hesitation, the man handed his sketchbook over. Max was rather impressed with the realism in the sketches. “These are beautiful.....” he handed them back, face softening as he spoke.

“Thank you.... Could I have your name?”

“Oh, I suppose.... It’s Max.”

“Max. Such an ordinary name to an extraordinary face.”

“Mmm, yes well.... You are?”

“Ian.”

“Well, you have a lot of talent Ian. I wish you good luck.” he turned to leave, content to continue on his day where it left off.

“Wait, wait.”

Max stopped, turning to face Ian again. “What?”

“Could I see you again sometime? I just... I have to paint you.”

“I’m.... I’m not sure....” He did not so much as know this strange onlooker. He could be looking to rob him blind for all he knew. The thought of being someone’s artistic muse again, however, was tempting. “If I truly do inspire you so much.... Alright. Yes, you can paint me.”

....

Max was starting to regret setting up a meeting with that artist. Today was the day he was to come over and he was growing anxious. Max had not had visitors since the deaths of his father and best friend. Losing them the same year had turned the once adventurous loudmouth to a tight-lipped reclusive. He could not very well call it off now though.

“Max?” He turned around, seeing his maid in his bedroom doorway. “You have company.”

“Y-yes... Send him in...” He picked up a nearby book and sat down in an armchair, attempting to look busy. He didn’t want to be standing awkwardly in the middle of the room when he showed up.

“Oh, you’re here....” He pretended to be surprised at Ian’s entrance.

“I have got to say, I didn’t know you were so wealthy. My entire house isn’t even as big your room.”

“Really...? Don’t you sell your paintings?”

“Well, I try.”

“Mmm.... If i like what you paint, i’m sure I could recommend you. Where would be a good place for me to...?”

“Umm, I think there would be good.” Ian pointed to Max’s red chaise longue.

“Alright...” Max began tidying the surrounding area as Ian set up his supplies, surveying the room as he did so. Curious to see the way a boy like Max lived. The room was so full, expensive furniture, books on shelves and art on the walls. One painting caught his eye. A bright pink painting of a tree in a ray of sunlight. It wasn’t very realistic, clearly done by an ammeter. Still, it stood out and Ian found the contents of the frame quite captivating for some reason. The heavy strokes and bright colors didn’t look like realism, but they had a unique look he didn’t see in many paintings.

“This is such an interesting piece. Where did you get it?”

Max turned, surprised to see which painting Ian was admiring. “R-really? You Like it? I actually painted that....”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Oh, I don’t think it’s very good... Thank you though.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a tree that looks like this.”

“It’s a cherry blossom tree,” Max explained. “I painted it while I was abroad in Japan. I had never seen anything like it either.”

“Do you have other paintings?”

“In my closet... I don’t paint anymore. I find it depressing. I only painted with my friend, Joji. He... Passed away. I don’t see much point in it now.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. He was the reason I agreed to let you paint me. You remind me of him. He was a musician. Always finding inspiration for his compositions in such strange places. But he always said I was his greatest muse,” he laughed a little to himself. Trying to mask his sadness. “You artist types must be a strange bunch, finding inspiration in me of all people...”

“No, Max. I think your friend was right about you. You don’t happen to have any of his compositions, do you?”

“No...” he answered sadly. “Everything went to his parents. They didn’t let me have anything.” He swallowed, attempting to stop himself from shedding a tear at the memory. “They didn’t like me.”

“Because you’re European?”

“No. It’s complicated...” Max turned away, going back to his task. He wondered if Ian would understand? He did seem so different than most. He had the same energy as Joji had. But Max could never be too sure. He opened his wardrobe, rummaging around for something. “What sort of thing would you like to paint me in?”

“Well.... To be honest, I usually paint my subjects nude....” Max was silent for a moment. “You don’t have to. If you aren’t comfortable with that...”

“I just wasn’t expecting it....” Max’s immediate instinct was to say no. But something about the suggestion ignited the rebellious flame in Max that had been put out these last few years. Posing nude for a stranger certainly went against his proper upbringing and good breeding. Something he used to adore with a passion. His family hated the way he traipsed across Europe and Asia, accomplishing nothing but getting drunk and collecting bazar, value-less tokens of his travels. The open secret of his affair with a man made his father a laughing stock in his own industry, which Max did quite enjoy relishing in. His father was so high up though, it never really hurt the family. It merely angered his mother and kept Max’s name out of other family’s property-marriage ideas. His father was a kind man, offering to pretend to disown him so he could be with Joji. With them both gone, that dream was obviously dead. His mother wanting to marry him off sooner than later. A large nude portrait of himself hung up in some shop window was a delightful idea. Oh, what would they say? “I agree,” he finally answered. “You should paint me nude.”

“Are you sure...?”

“Yes. I think it’s a brilliant idea. My mother frequents a restaurant on the south side with her friends. Perhaps the owner would be willing to buy some of your art.”

“That would be amazing... You would talk to him for me?”

“Of course. You’re talented anyways, you deserve it,” he smiled.

....

“How is it turning out?” Max asked, sprawled out on the chaise lounge as Ian worked away.

“Oh, it’s going to be incredible. You’re the perfect subject.”

“Yes, well... You seem to think I’m quite beautiful. For some reason. I’ve just inspired you, that’s all.”

“Max, anyone could see I was right.”

He chuckled. “Oh, sure. More beautiful than anyone? Even a young woman with rosey red cheeks and flowers in her hair? If you had seen the women on the farms of the Ukraine or on the streets of Tokyo, you may not say such things.”

“No. You’re more beautiful than any man or woman alive. I’m sure.”

“How can you be?”

“You just... You have this other worldly aura about you. It’s hard to explain. Something about you. You seem like you don’t belong on this earth. Or this time perhaps.... The way your lips part and your eyebrow arches... And those eyes. I have to get them just right.”

“You artists are so strange....”

“Well, I have never asked any random woman on the street if I could paint them. You’re the only one with that distinction.”

Max laughed.

“Did your musician friend say the same? He did, I’ll bet.”

“Something like that....”

A few more minutes passed before Ian spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”

“I suppose....”

“Your friend... How did he die?”

Max hesitated before answering. “....The plague... My.... My father went the same way.”

“Sorry.” Max didn’t answer. “Is that why....? Is that why your eyes always look so sad? Even when you smile and laugh, I can see it in your eyes. They have this glimmer, but not of joy. Like there are always tears there.”

“I... Can’t say I’ve noticed any of that. But it is likely.“ Joji had told him quite the opposite.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Alright....”

“Why did his parents hate you?”

“Why are you asking these things?”

Ian shrugged. “I’ve been fascinated by your eyes for a while. I just wanted to know how you got so broken. But maybe it’s better if i don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be....” He wasn’t sure he could trust Ian with such a secret. He would think very differently of him, that was for sure.

“Would you ever try painting again?”

“In time I might want to. Why?”

“I just, I go out to the park and paint scenery sometimes. I just think some of the other artists would love to meet you. If you like being painted, modeling is a great way to make money too. Not that you need it.” He chuckled slightly, having forgotten Max’s wealth for a moment. Everyone he knew was always desperate for extra cash. He couldn’t imagine being in Max’s position.

Max laughed too. “No, I don’t... But it could be fun. I don’t really have any friends of my own anymore. But I don’t like many people if I’m honest. You and I could get together again though. I quite like you. Not sure why, really.”

“Well, at least you like me.”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I do. You have such a passion for your work. You see the world in such a different way than most.” He had a charm to him. Even on the street, such an odd request he’d had, yet Max was drawn to him. He watched as he painted. Looking over Max’s body with such a careful eye, searching for every detail. He looked like he was so taken, just by his sight.... He looked him up and down, painting with such precise strokes. Max found it captivating. Erotic in it’s way. He subconsciously bit his lower lip, watching Ian’s eyes. He could feel them as they ran along his naked body. “Ian...”

“Yes...?”

“I.... Do you still want to know why his parents hated me?”

Ian only nodded in response.

“I.... Joji.... He was my lover....” he said finally, glancing downward. He seemed to regret saying it, face turning red.

“Oh....”

“Well.... W-w-what do you.... Think of that....?”

“Umm, well.... I.... I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“Do you think I.... Do you still think I’m beautiful?”

“Yes. Yes, I do. Are you ashamed of it?”

“No... I loved him. Should I be?” he asked, eyes locking on Ian’s.

“No. Of course not. It happens much more than you probably think. You’re so rich and sheltered so I guess you don’t know. You know, Max, in Ancient Greece it was seen as normal. And their society was superior to ours in almost every way.”

“Yes... I have heard that....”

I.... I’ve lied with a man before....”

“You have?”

Ian nodded. “Were you in love with him?”

“Yes. Yes Ian, I was. Very much....”

“Your heart is so broken. I could tell the moment I saw you. You carry that heavy heart in your chest everywhere you go. Do you think you could ever love again?”

“Maybe.... Some day. I would like to....”

“I hope you do. I don’t think it will fix your heart though.”

“I think you’re right.... But I would still like to.”

“It’s worth a try. I think.”

.....

“Wow....” Max marvelled at Ian’s canvas, pulling a robe over his naked body. “It’s beautiful....”

“I told you you were...” Ian smirked.

“You’re so talented....” Within the painting, he actually saw everything Ian had been talking about. Whatever it was he saw in him, he captured it in a way Max didn’t think was possible. “I love it, Ian! It’s.... Amazing...”

“Thank you! It’s only because if you I could turn out something like this. My work is really normally nothing special.”

“Oh, no.... It can’t just be me. You have a gift. Would you ever paint me again sometime?”

“Max, I would be happy painting nothing but you for the rest of my life,” he laughed.

“An hour ago I would have said you were crazy for saying such a thing, but I must do something to you.”

“It’s not me. I swear, it’s you.”

“Whatever it is, the world needs more if it. I’ll be your model Ian, for as long as you like.”

“Then I’ll paint you, for the same amount of time.”

#writing #maxian

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crappycrafts-blog · 7 years

Text

Session 1: Motivational excerpts

I am an artist…

Or so I say…

I am now a working artist in a small indie game company. However, I still think that my skills are not enough to make high quality art hence, the name crappycrafts. I am not saying that my boss was wrong to hire me but it’s just that I want to deliver more.

I am a lazy person. I am ambitious as well. Very contradicting huh? I am aware that I can’t reach my dreams if I stay lazy af but I can’t help it! Sleeping and playing games are just so fun to do!!! Thinking about it though, I have so much passion in playing games to the point that I exert so much effort to finish the story, complete all the missions/quests and get all items/equipments. That is why I don’t understand why I am being lazy to do things for the better of myself, right? I know for sure that if I exert the same effort that I put into games into learning and practicing art then I’ll get to achieve my ultimate goal, my ultimate quest in life and that is to be a professional artist. (my personal definition of professional is “being someone who doesn’t need a diploma or anything but someone who is knowledgeale in his craft and able to produce something that can level the standards of the community and the industry.)

I graduated college with a degree in BSIT with specialization in Digital Arts. It’s not an art school where I studied and as a matter of fact, college sucked. I didn’t learn a single thing in that course that helped me to get where I am now. What it thought me is that I can never learn the fundamentals unless I take interest to it (even without a teacher). So let’s get to the point shall we?

I am starting this blog(?) for the sake of keeping track with my studies. Hopefully I stay motivated. I am very bad at updating stuffs too so I am getting anxious as I am writing this but I have to learn how to negate my lazy self so I can continue forward.

I will be studying the book of Andrew Loomis, “Figure Drawig For All It’s Worth”. Almost all artists I saw online recommends his book and I’ve already read the book before but of course, I didn’t take it seriously. I just read it without grasping things and without applying and practicing those. I already started reading it again and I got some excerpts from it that I think are important to highlight.

All these excerpts can be found in the ‘Opening Chat’ section of the book.

You love to draw. You wish to draw well. If there is any chance, you greatly wish to make a living at it. - pg. 15

Honestly, I never thought that I will pursue art as a career. When I was a kid, I just draw whenever I feel like it. I can’t really say it was a hobby since it’s very rare that I draw although back in high school, I got so much passion in drawing that I draw even though everything I do looks like crap. Well, I still draw crappy art up to this day. I am one of those people who didn’t know what they wanna do in life and I just had to pick a course to take in college and so I said, “yeah well, I draw so maybe do that” I didn’t know I’ll regret that decision so much.

I believe that greater chances of success lie in the mental approach to the work, rather than in sheer technical knowledge - pg. 15

I am lazy… I already said that, right? So even if I get the urge to draw something and be creative, I just shrug the idea and think of it as a bother and that I’ll just exhaust myself. Someone slap me please…

I feel that talent means little unless coupled with an insatiable desire to give an excellent personal demonstration of ability. I feel also that talent must be in company with a capacity for unlimited effort, which provides the power that eventually hurdles the difficulties that would frustrate lukewarm enthusiasm. - pg. 15

Talent, well, I think that there are really gifted people. However, I also believe that talent is worth nothing if it’s not put into practice. It will stay stagnant and will never improve if not taken care of. Like a seed that needs to be watered and exposed to sunlight, talent needs effort to achieve improvement (but exposure isn’t a good deal to take advantage of artists so please stop that nonsense)

…what is of greatest importance and subordinates what must be there is of less importance - pg. 15

I used to get compliments for taking good pictures. So I thought that I have a good sense of composition but that isn’t the case. Taking pictures are a lot easier than drawing a whole scene. In pictures, I just need to position the camera in a nice perfect angle to capture my message but in drawing, I need to think of what things would make up the message I want to convey.

Everything about your pictures is, and should be, a little of you- pg. 16

This is probably the easiest thing I could do in all of these important points Loomis stated. I always put something of me in my art to the point that sometimes, I overshadow the personality of the character I wanted to portray. So far, I have 13 official OCs that I plan to create a comic of and they have varying personalities. I am an introvert and an extreme one so I always find it hard to portray my OC that is an extrovert. I suppose I need to control the amount of me that I put into things.

Good drawing is neither an accident nor the result of an inspired moment when the Muses lend a guiding hand. - pg. 17

THIS HITS HARD because you know what? I always rely on the supernatural being to bless me the motivation and the ability to draw sometimes. And at times when I feel really exhausted, I just thought that maybe the being is not here to bless me. Pretty ridiculous, right? I keep giving excuses not to draw or practice and yet I get frustrated when I can’t achieve what I have in mind.

Use another’s style as a crutch only-until you can walk alone. - pg. 17

There are lots of artists out there nowadays that has a distinct art style e.g, Kawacy, WLOP, Ilya Kuvshinov, Gabriel Picolo, Artgerm, Sakimichan and more that anyone would be able to tell that it’s their artwork without even looking at the watermark. I’ve been seeing other new artists out there that I could tell that they were influenced by some of these masters I mentioned. There’s nothing wrong with that and I am actually awed that they managed to get the technique from another and use it for their own. However, I honestly feel that anyone can have this distinct art style if we keep developing what we gained from others. So far, I have very inconsistent art style since im a crap.

… nurture individuality and not produce imitation. - pg. 17

I started out drawing by merely imitating a photo of a character. From the pose, to the expression, to the colors, and more. Of course, just like most of artists out there, I thought that this is what it means to draw. Apparently, that’s wrong. Drawing as a person can be different as drawing as an artist. An artist adds creativity to the creation and not just imitating what is seen.

Technique is not so important as the young artist is inclined to believe; the living and emotional qualities- the idealization you put into your work- are far more important - pg. 18

Every artist, every person has different experiences in life. These experiences enables us to think differently and have varying opinions. This creates a unique idea and personality within us and we can learn how to turn it into something creative that is new and that will define us.

For the next post, I’ll be tackling the chapter one of the book. I’ll probably take out some excerpts again and anything hat could be helpful to highlight.

#170624 #crappysessions

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