#honeyistheknife

[honeyistheknife]

Fit Lit #12 A Black Gaze : Artists Changing How We See by Tina M. Campt Some time ago I was sent this beautiful book, which is always such a joy. A Black Gaze is authored by Tina M. Campt, leading Black feminist scholar and a professor at Barnard College. This is a powerful book that prioritizes the Black Mirror, the fine art of Black people looking at ourselves. It is healthy and necessary to become your own mirror, to know who you are without the feedback or BS myopia of Other. Campt’s writing is an academic, yet deeply vulnerable journey of reclaiming the Black gaze. The purple is a deep, gorgeous purple on the inside with pages of art and photography. I especially loved the chapter on Deana Lawson and her intimate portraits of Black people and the chapter on Black Joy. I feel inspired to keep doing the work of learning to look at myself and other Black people with more compassion, loving nonattachment, and depth. Read this book if you want the same. And I’m wearing a very low back wide-leg jumper from @rebdolls (remind me to model it better for you next time 😉) I think jumpsuits were made for Amazons and showing off my back is my favorite form of sensual appeal when it comes to clothes. ✌🏿& 💕, Hannah • • • • • • #literaryfashion #blackwomenwriters #blackbookstagram #blackhippie #tinamcampt #authorcommunity #nonfictionbooks #blackwomanmagic #blackauthor #selfhelpbooks #qpoc #blackgirlmagic✨#blackfemme #pleasurepositive #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #deanalawson #becomeyourownmirror (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZaUxJMP4uW/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

I think the goal is to become repellent. So *you* that if someone take a sniff, listen, or look they immediately Block Mute Unfollow Close the page Scream “Hell no!” It’s true on the page as it is off it: You and your work are not meant for everyone. When people vehemently don’t get you When they shout, “Next!” (Rude but ok) When they immediately look over your shoulder It’s actually a blessing. And no—not because people are “haters” or because you’re a genius. Those things *might* be true but one thing is definitely true And that is: When you are repellent to some you will be absolutely seductive to others. They’ll be gaga over you and your work for the same reason the other crowd can’t stand you. This reaction is not because this adoring crowd is just more cultured or smart. I mean that *might* be true, but what is definitely true is that these are your people. I used to try and be palatable. I have some Libra in my chart somewhere I’m sure, and I do value the fine art of diplomacy. But the more I live and write, the more I get coached by people like @amberjamiecoaching, the more I realize that all the things I HATED about myself all the stories that didn’t quite fit in All the ways I hid Are all the things that are bringing me the real success I’ve always wanted. It’s not because those other tries weren’t “me” enough. It’s because I’m having more fun. I’m worrying less about fitting in & learning to love standing out. I’m not as scared of rejection (I eat rejection for breakfast, it’s quite tasty…), unsubscribes, unfollows, and radio silence: Because I know that eventually, when the time is so right, the door(s) will open. And I also know it’s okay to feel hurt and support myself through this. So: take it as a good sign when you feel repellent, when you hear the hell no’s. (And you will hear this A LOT as a writer and human being if you’re living out loud….) You’re thisclose 2 attracting the hell yeses. 💋, Hannah • #reclaimyourpower #blackwomenwriters #blackbookstagram #iamwriting #honeyistheknife #nonfictionbooks #hannaheko #blackauthor #selfhelpbooks #qpoc #blackgirlmagic✨#blackfemme #pleasurepositive (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CZJA0bhL2W7/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Hey there. Happy International Woman’s Day. I’ll be taking a break in Instagramland to focus on revision and drafting work. I can’t wait to share it with you. I’ll still be dutifully sending out my moonletter—you can subscribe via the link in my bio or at hannaheko.substack.com If you’re looking to start or finish your book, I offer developmental editing and 1:1 coaching to help you get there. Check the link in my bio to learn more. The next @womenwritingweedandwine is April 2nd. We’ll be discussing Desire. Again, the link to sign up and get to know what the class is about is in my bio. I have a handy “Contact Me” function at my website. Also, I believe email is the modern day love letter. That’s all for now. Keep sending me cute memes and stuff. It’ll be nice to see once I return. May you find rest and comfort. Love, Hannah • #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #bookcoaching #writingcoach #writingcoaching (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca3ZfTrrwjU/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

🎉You are invited to a literary bonanza🎊 Who: Blogger, writer, & activist @dfordarkoa presented by @whitewhalebks When: The Year of Our Goddess Two Thousand and Twenty-Two on March 8th at 4 pm (EST) Where: Zoomland What: Deep & delightful conversation about @dfordarkoa groundbreaking book, The Sëx Lives of African Women with your literary hostess, Hannah Eko. Attire: Something that makes you feel deeply you in all your sensual, intellectual glory. RSVP via the link in my bio. ✌🏿 • #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #blackfeminism #blackfeminist #writingcoach #amwritingnonfiction #selfhelpbooksforwomen #africanwriters #blackwomenauthors #blackwomanauthor #nanadarkoasekyiamah #thesexlivesofafricanwomen #blackbookstagram #blackbookstagrammer #blackfemme #qpoc #bipocartists #pleasureactivism (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca1IPyYLmIp/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Wowza! I’ll be in conversation with @dfordarkoa author of #thesexlivesofafricanwomen on March 8th. Make your Tuesday more than the day before hump (pun intended) day—come join us on Zoom at 4 pm EST this Tuesday. There’s a lot going on in the world. We’re all basically going through some spectrum of second-hand trauma. I know. I *still* think we always deserve to make room for pleasure. ‘Pleasure isn’t just for perfect times or perfect people. It’s for right now. @dfordarkoa has written an absolutely beautiful book and if you haven’t read it yet—you need to. Her work brings warmth and so much complexity to African female s*xuality. You’ll walk away forever changed. See you there! Love, Hannah • #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #writingcoach #blackwomanwriters #bipocbooks #blackbookstagram #blackbookstagrammer #blackwomanauthor #nonfictionreads #amwritingnonfiction #africanwomanwriter #africanwriters #africanwriter (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CavrdSoL6nu/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

I was a bit embarrassed to call @honeyistheknifebook a self-help book at first. “Great, now no one will ever take my writing seriously and all my PhD friends will be like 🙄” But, after some time it was like girl—stop: @honeyistheknifebook is a self-help book. *Alternative* self-help, but self-help nonetheless. I always wanted to see a self-help boom that was zany and complex and delightful and not going to tell me that the key to my happiness was a set of affirmations and an amethyst. I wanted to see self-help that lived in reality. I’ve read some terrible self-help. Books so tone deaf they make Tucker Carlson look quaint. But I’ve also read some amazing self-help guides. Sisters of the Yam, C*nt, Radical Compassion, Shadows on the Path… @honeyistheknifebook places my experience at center: a nerdy, hyper-sensitive Black second generation woman—not because it’s the only experience (lol) but because the more specific you get, the more you expand into stories beyond the self. My story is unique—but it is not special. I want to be loved just like you. I want to love just like you. I want to be free like you want to be free. I want to hope like you long to hope. I struggle just like you. @honeyistheknifebook is my love letter to all our gorgeous, messy selves. It’s on the way…. • #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #developmentaleditor #writingcoach #selfhelpbook #selfhelpbooksforwomen (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cat8nfRLosO/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

When I look at black women, I see a complicated dance of beauty, creativity, ingenuity, bravery, and compassion. I’m so happy that in this time and space continuum, when I could’ve been anything, I was made into a black woman. As a black woman, we are often in resistance. Honey is what helps me love and live with more ease. I used to think honey came from denying pain. Or that someday, I’d magically be rescued into another life. I used to believe I had to be perfect or do BIG things. I wrote @honeyistheknifebook during a pandemic, on the heels of what could’ve been a total nervous breakdown. I was back living at home, reckoning with all the ways I’ve tried to outrun myself through rejection and overwhelm. I was meeting all the ways I ignored my own truth in place of someone else’s. I know that the journey of coming home will not be over until I take my last breath. We are on the frontlines of gender, racial, and anti-human wars that will outlast us, even as we make tremendous gains and progress. We are not an easily defeated entity, us black and woman. But we still deserve to dance. This is what Osun and her honey teaches me, what she can teach all of us. I am no Ifa initiate. My Yoruba is meh. I do not carry the precise dance moves of Janet, nor was I blessed with the vibranium knees of Megan Thee Stallion. But I do have a dance in my soul. And so do you. • #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #writingcoach #developmentaleditor (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CafeaOBPgdJ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Everyone starts with a sh*tty first draft. Whether you’re writing a bio, essay, or book. The Sh*tty First Draft was coined by the writer Anne Lamott & refers to our first go at writing. It’s the drafts which still needs work. It’s full of plot holes, two-dimensional characters, vague sentences, clichéd platitudes, sophomoric language. During the Sh*tty First Draft: You’ll write stuff you’ll cringe at. You’ll write stuff that makes you question whether you should keep going. You’ll write stuff that lets you know that you’re not the untouchable genius you believed you were in your head. And this is normal. The sh*tty first (or second or twelfth) draft is required. You know how people say there’s no dress rehearsal for life? Or “no mud, no lotus”? Yeah, it’s like that. There’s no preparation for writing, beyond writing. & Sometimes you have to write absolute sh*t to get to your gold. There’s always room to revise and edit afterwards. This is what coaches & editors like me are for: I help writers evolve from that beautiful, sh*tty first draft into your creative vision. But the first part is on you. Take a slow breath in. Start small. Maybe set a timer. Dare to write sh*t. If you want writing and life advice that blends the magical & the practical, sign up for my weeklyish moonletter newsletter—the link is in my bio or at hannahoeko.com/newsletter • #writingabook #writingpromptsdaily #writingprocess #writingislove #writingskills #writingislife #writinggoals #writingday #writingtip #writingthefuture #writingcontest #writingmystory #writingmood #writingsession #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #developementalediting #bookcoach (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaaU2UZPhaa/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

I’m having a party next Saturday. (March 5th at 12 pm PST for those of you who like specifics…) It’s called @womenwritingweedandwine It’s like a c@nn@bis brunch and a writing workshop had a baby. There will be playful & weird writing prompts! And positive sharing! And a fun playlist where we do writer yoga (no more tight shoulders!) And a signature cocktail 🍹! And philanthropy (10% of your ticket goes to a c@nn@bis non-profit)! I’d love to have your adventurous, open spirit in our virtual playground. If you want to have fun AND write (who knew?!), then you’ll wanna be here. Sign up via the link in my bio and DM me if you have any questions. (And @womenwritingweedandwine happens every first Saturday, so don’t be 😔 if you can’t make it this go around…) (And also: it’s not just for women and stoners! I just love alliteration a lot 😉) ✌🏿 • #reclaimyourpower #blackwomenwriters #blackbookstagram #blackhippie #iamwriting #authorcommunity #nonfictionbooks #blackwomanmagic #blackauthor #selfhelpbooks #qpoc #blackgirlmagic✨#blackfemme #pleasurepositive #cbdfacts #hannaheko #honeyistheknife (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaXvfagv8gr/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Did you know… Writing (on the page) is the easiest thing in the world: you pick up your pen, pencil, start typing. You write. The End. But, what happens *before* you write (off the page) is where the REAL magic (and misery) happens. Performance anxiety, dread, perfectionism, & pressure will make writing hard as hell. These feelings will lead to hating what you write, bitter comparison, writer’s block, and never starting or finishing your book. And we don’t want that. We want you to write with ease and flow—even when sh*t gets hard. We want you to share a book with us that makes YOU all excited so we can be excited with you. 😊😀 We want you to start and finish your book. So, when writing is hard, please don’t make it worse by being hard on yourself. Take a deep slow breath. Take a pause if needed. And also yourself: what’s happening off the page that’s keeping me from writing today? How can I take the smallest step to be with all my feelings? I know what it’s like to struggle with writing. I also know what it’s like to create work I’m proud of, get published, and finish write a book. I’m an editor and a book coach who will help you get started and get it done. Sign up for my moonletter newsletter at hannahoeko.com/newsletter to stay connected. • #writerwednesday #writersgram #writersblog #writersworld #writerswrite #writerquotes #writersofinstagram #writersworkshop #writingideas #writingproblems #writingtime #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #writinghelp #writingclass #writingcoach #authorcommunity #nonfictionbooks #blackwomanmagic #blackauthor #selfhelpbooks (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaVn_kovALT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

How do like to wake? With sudden alarms clanging alarms? Someone shouting in your ear? How about reveille and an ice cold water hose to the face? Awakening is a holy process and most of us treat it like a surprise party from hell. Some of us are so woke we need to go back to sleep. We need to awaken to truth in a way our body craves. Personally, I need alarms. I’m a deep sleeper. I prefer gentler sounds and waking up to natural light. I love having time to stretch and linger before rushing off to start my day. I am waking up with intention and respect to my body. When we awaken to the lies of harm and hurt, there is a tendency to go full throttle. And to awaken others with brash words and harsh alarms. I understand the rage and the restlessness, I really do. We do not need to ALWAYS Yell Scream Blame Shout Push to get woke. (And if the only way someone can hear you is by yelling, then they are just showing you how numb they are to their own experience, let alone yours). Maybe this 2.22.22 we can let go of the “woke” ways which permeate harm. Maybe we can do something even deeper than staying woke. Maybe we can awaken. Some months ago I wrote a 18 page guide about navigating your spiritual awakening. It’s inspired by The Nightmare Before Christmas and it includes journal prompts to help you turn your existential crisis into your spiritual awakening. Visit my website at hannahoeko.com if you want to download the guide. Happy 2.22.22! • #writersworkshop #writingideas #writingproblems #writingtime #hwritinghelp #writingclass #writingcoach #writingpoetry #writingabook #writingpromptsdaily #writingprocess ##writingislove #writingskills #writingislife #spiritualawakening #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #existentialcrisis (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaTUjtzFl17/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Your bio is your written handshake. It should feel like a literary embodiment of your essence. It should feel like a well-rounded introduction, the debunte ball of you. I help writers, artists, and other amazing human beings craft personal statements, bios, vows, and profiles that feel like *you*. DM me to learn more and let’s get that bio shining 💡 • #writerwednesday #writersgram #writersblog #writersworld #writerswrite #writerquotes #writersofinstagram #writersworkshop #writingideas #writingproblems #writingtime #hwritinghelp #writingclass #writingcoach #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaQZjGcPOxc/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Slow breath in. Slow breath out. It’s very (very) hard to build capacity during a catastrophe. It’d be like trying to meditate while your house was on literal fire. Kinda hard, no? Many of us live in bodies constantly on edge, primed for survival. Our nerves are like ☠️ Your body doesn’t need self-care when it’s like this, it needs self soothing. (Which is why you do soothing things like vegging out in front of Netflix, eating McDonalds, making Wednesday Wine night every day of the week, etc.) I’m sure many of you have found it harder to write during the pandemic. It’s like the Wild Wild West of a dystopian prequel. And it makes total sense. Your body doesn’t want to stress itself writing, it wants a blunt and a 3 hour nap. Be kind to your soothing habits. They’re the key to what your body really needs: rest, connection, relaxation, sleep, energy, etc. Focus on giving your body those things (this is the part where we do the self care adult thing) even *as* you continue your self soothing habits. Your “bad” habits will taper off as you build capacity. You don’t have to go from 0 to 180 (you’ll *probably* just freak out your system even more and wind up right back where you’re at…) And remind yourself of where you’re heading. Slow breath in. Slow breath out. Relax your jaw, the space between your brows. Let your shoulders drop. Be kind to your body. You are building your capacity for love. 💕 Hannah • #womenliftingwomen #womenlovewomen #womenleaders #womenlivingwell #womenleadership #womenlove #womenlovingwomen #womenlivesmatter #womenlife #womenled #womenlifestyle #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #bookcoach #writingcoach (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaOP78Er4E0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

Write (and live) as if the ones in the middle mattered most. If focusing on an imaginary audience while you write feels good and helps you write more—do that. If focusing on an audience while you write makes you all nervous and people-pleasey, then write for yourself. Your audience will find you either way. • #writerwednesday #writersgram #writersblog #writersworld #writerswrite #writerquotes #writersofinstagram #writersworkshop #writingideas #writingproblems #writingtime #writinghelp #writingclass #writingcoach #hannaheko #bookcoach #honeyistheknife #findyouraudience #amwritingfiction #amwritingnonfiction (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaNyo_EPvHC/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

There is a delicious tension between what you want and what you need. This tension lies at the heart of every struggle you meet. You may want fast but your body needs slow. You may want the superficial image but your soul needs depth. You may want the newest thing but your minds needs the old, tried, & true. You are not a problem to be solved. Think of some stubborn habit you feel defeated by: -Comparing yourself to other shiny writers -Not writing for weeks (or months or years) on end -Major procrastination where you always write last minute -Over-editing your work and not being able to move on -etc. What actions do you usually take to “solve your problem”? What is your pattern? What do you want? Now be honest: what do you need? Will what you want give you what you need? 87.5% of writing more, writing better, and feeling connected to your work isn’t about writing regimens, craft, or even writing itself. It’s about your emotions. It’s about identifying the tension between your want and your need. You do this by: -Allowing all your feelings and knowing they are all useful (yes, even bitter jealousy and paralyzing anxiety…) -Being honest about what you want (what you really really want). -Being honest about what you need & treating your need just as importantly as the want. Do this over and over & watch your writing life & your off the page life change for the better. I send out magic flavored yet deeply realistic reminders like this one in my weeklyish moonletter. Sign up via the link in my bio. 💋 Hannah • #writerwednesday #writersgram #writersblog #writersworld #writerswrite #honeyistheknife #writersofinstagram #writersworkshop #writingideas #writingproblems #writingtime #writinghelp #bookcoach #writingcoach #writingpoetry #writingabook #writingpromptsdaily #writingprocess ##hannaheko #writingskills #writingislife #writinggoals #writingday #writingtip #writingthefuture #writingcontest #writingmystory #writingmood #writingsession (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaJ-cPOLqFl/?utm_medium=tumblr

[honeyistheknife]

☠️ Read the rest via the link in my bio. AND: Follow my page at Medium for experimental, soulful, and pleasure-centered writing that gets you thinking and feeling. Happy Friday 💕 • #blackwomenhealing #sacredwisdom #loveofself #queerpoc #selfloveheals #selfloveisimportant #compassionfirst #healingjustice #bethemagic #pleasurerevolution #bipocbookstagram #bipocbooks #nonfictionauthor #nonfictionwriter #bipocauthors #newbookstagram #hannaheko #honeyistheknife #strongblackwoman (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CaIvh73P0qd/?utm_medium=tumblr