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biohazard-inevitable · 6 months

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FINALLY finished chapter 1 of my self insert fanfiction of me and sir crocodile called These Cold-Blooded Sands and it banged out to a WHOPPING. 7.5K WORD LENGTH!!!!

I’m gonna post the link to it here but if you dont want to read it on ao3 I’ve also posted it under the cut without the ao3 edits (italics etc) cause i am NOT scanning through all that again!!!

Ao3 link

The desert of this island was a harsh, inhospitable place. Miles upon miles of scorching, arid dunes stretched between the towns that were few and far between. Winds howled like rabid dogs baring the wind as their fangs as the storms churned and grinded even the heartiest men down to the bone, that is, if the dehydration didn’t kill you first. Many a weary traveler collapsed before ever seeing another town, crumpling to their knees beneath the sheer power the desert held, just as the man that fell now, the dust of the afternoon air kicking up into the air before being lost amonst the scattered grains in the wind.

The sand crunched beneath his weight as he fell, tattered clothes torn by battle flapping weakly in the wind as the sands began to consume his body, scraping against his skin like the claws of a predator, the distant howl of a brewing sandstorm on the horizon already. His dark, ebony hair splayed wide across the golden dunes, mixing like thread into the ever consuming wastes. It swirled and fluttered in the heavy breeze, covering his face as he wheezed and coughed in desperation, incapable of staying conscious without water in his system as the clouds upon the horizon grew nearer, and the winds grew more violent, ready to sink more of their fangs into their newest prey.

The winds screamed as the sandstorm approached, swift and vile in its destruction as it tore its hungry claws into the earth, raking stone and dust into the air to become a most lethal sycthe before it came to a sudden stall around the fallen figure, a tan whirlwind focusing around a flicker of metalic gold before the typhoon ceased around that central point, leaving behind only a second figure whose heavy footfalls crunched into the dunes as he joined the first in the eye of the storm.

“Hm? What do we have here..?” The deep, gravely voice mused, puffing a breath of smoke into the swarming air as the owner of it dug the tip of his shoe into the side of the collapsed husk on the ground, flipping it with a firm kick, unsurprised when it didn’t so much as twitch. “Another pathetic stray?”

His stern, lavender gaze sweeps over the body lain in the sand, taking in its beat up, dehydrated form with a degrading sneer before suddenly settling on the strange protrusions from the man’s hair, curious surprise changing his sneer to a troubled frown.

Atop the unconscious man’s head peek out two pointed ears like that of an animal’s, and the living sandstorm of a man realizes that amongst the tattered clothing, a small, canine tail is also peeking out from the disheveled rags, sand clinging to its ebony fur and coating it in a dirty, tawny brown.

“A zoan user?” He hums to himself, kneeling for a closer inspection as he brushed a strand of coarse, filthy hair out of the smaller’s face with the tip of his shiny golden hook. “Mh, couldn’t be. Zoans are a bit of a rougher form… this one is far too soft… too human to be a mink. So then, what are you, kid?”

No response came from the unconscious body as the man sighed, using his right arm to scoop the body upwards, cradling the man half his size in his far larger limb. He glanced down with a look full of annoyance and curiosity taking another long drag from his cigar.

“Boy should be grateful to me, really.” He mused to himself, shrugging the body into a better grip as his legs began to melt into the dunes, dissappearing into a storm of grainy stones whilst he held the smaller man close to his chest, covering his face with a bit of fabric to assure no sand from the storm suffocated his new treasure during their trip. “Perhaps he’ll be useful when he wakes up.”

With a humming howl, the sands beneath began to churn once more, lifting the man into a great tower of wind and stone as he willed the dunes to carry him to his destination as they always had for the many years he’d been staying in Alabasta. What would normally take a camel several days, the man arrived within a short hour, fine golden grains cascading off his form as he regained his shape, still carrying the unconscious man as his dress shoes clacked across the tile of a casino in the middle of a grand oasis, people parting like the waves of the sea with every powerful step.

“Back from your ‘walk’ already?” Hummed a smooth, gentle voice as a dark haired woman joined the man’s side, uncannily sapphire eyes flitting down to examine the crumpled form in his arms. “And what’s that? Its unlike you to bring back anything, alive or dead.”

“You ask too much, Miss Manager.” The larger man spoke with a dark tone, gaze flitting around to the flocking patrons as practiced lies began to spill from his tongue like honey. “This is just a curious stray I saved from death, like the kind man I am. We should really get him somewhere safe and quiet, like the private VIP quarters.”

“Of course, Sir.” Spoke the woman, tone sharp and wise as she silenced her queries. “How generous you are.”

The patrons of the grand casino gazed in amazement as the man continued forward, unwavering to the questions as he hoped his brief conversation would explain enough to those who hailed him a hero. He was thankful when he passed the doors that led to the VIP rooms, the clammor of the casino falling into docile silence as he let out a deep, rasping sigh, smoke billowing into thick, curling clouds past his lips as he continued forward.

“Gods do those pathetic worms ever shut their traps when they see me?” He grumbled to himself once they were behind the safety of the hallway, shifting the body in his arms.

“They’re just in awe that a warlord such as yourself walks in their presence.” The woman chuckled, still at his side. “Thought you’d be more than used to it by now.”

The last comment was met with nothing more than a low rumble of a complaint as the warlord tucked himself into a guest room and set the unconscious man onto the plush mattress.

“So, whats the truth behind the body?” The manager hummed, glancing over the meek form with curiosity brimming behind dark lashes.

“Ironically, what I spoke out there was mostly the truth for once. Mostly.” The large man began, finishing off his cigar with a wave of his hand. “Found it crumpled in the desert, nearly dying of thirst and so I scooped it up. Figured you could take care of him, nurse it back to health all nice n’ shit.”

“Why?”

“Take a closer look at the thing. He isn’t human, and I’m almost certain he isn’t a Zoan or a mink either. Odds are, he could be useful, and he owes me for saving his life, though he doesnt know how deep his debt will run now.”

The woman glanced over at the form on the bed, her expression unreadable as she brushed a hand gently over dark ebony wisps of hair that draped over his features like wisps of shadow. Her wandering gaze wandered lower, surprised by the soft mounds of breasts that surely the warlord had overlooked in referring to the body, though she was far more surprised by the sharp, canine ears that stuck out from their head, distracting her from her thoughts entirely.

“And what do you plan to do?” She asked, taking a seat at the bedside.

“I’ve got paperwork to get done in my office, this casino doesn’t run itself.” The man huffed, his hulking frame now hovering by the door. “Get him fed and bathed when he wakes up, and answer his questions as best you can, see what you can learn.”

“And if he asks to see you?” She followed, daring not to correct the man on his possible misunderstanding of the being’s gender, though she herself was no stranger to bodies of a different kind.

“Then bring him to me.” The man smirked as he said this, his sharp, violet gaze flitting over the small man’s form. “I have my own questions.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Zayne awoke, he was hit with the sudden cool chill of shade, shade that was sorely missed as he had trudged through the desert sands. Missing, however, was the coarse grind of sand beneath his body, replaced instead with the soft embrace of fabric and the plush give of a mattress. His ear flicked softly to the sound of paper sliding against each other, like the rustling turn of a page as his brilliant, sapphire eyes fluttered open to take in his surroundings.

Gone was the arid wasteland he wandered, replaced instead with the prestigious garnishings of a wealthy man’s room. Reptilian themed paintings hung upon the walls dipped a emerald green in hue while soft carpet lined the floors, somehow lacking even a speck of sand throughout them by some miraculous feat.

By the bedside, a single chair had been pulled up, the source of the sound sitting quietly atop the cushion. It was a tall, slender woman, her legs crossed as she sat with a thick novel in hand, sleek, ebony hair falling like curtains around her neck as she seemed entirely engrossed in her reading, almost completely ignoring the presence of the man in the bed.

“Good morning.” Her voice purred, long fingertips closing the book with a soft snap as she turned her gaze upwards with a light smile. “You’ve been out of it for a while, you must be quite thirsty.”

Without a response from the fox, she reached over, handing him a cup full of clear, pristine water to which he eagerly chugged down.

“Easy now, relax.” She urged with a chuckle, gently pulling the cup back a bit from his mouth. “Don’t want to choke so soon after you’ve been rescued do you?”

“Who are you?” Zayne rasped with a desperate gasp after he had finished the contents of the cup. “Where am I?”

“My name is Robin, and you’re in the VIP quarters at Rain Dinners casino.”

“Last thing I remember was passing out in the middle of the desert…” The boy groaned, stretching himself out a bit, joints crackling with lack of use. “Seriously tjought I was going to die! Thanks for saving me.”

“Oh, it wasn’t me who saved you, though truly, I wish it had been.” Robin hummed softly, a forlorn look in her eyes.

“Well then who did? I’d really like to thank them if I can.”

“Well, he’s a bit busy right now, and for one we do have a few questions about you if you don’t mind?” Robin gently began, a concerned look upon her face as she spoke. “For one, how old are you miss?”

“Oh. I’m 18, I think… honestly I haven’t been keeping very good track of how long its been.” He answered, gaze drifting to the floor as his tail curled up into his lap, his pointed ears laying flat as he fiddled with his fur. “And… I’m not a girl.”

“My mistake then,” Robin corrected with a curt nod, continuing about her questioning. “How long has what been?”

“Well, I was captured by pirates when I was younger, mainly for well- what should be obvious.” Zayne scoffed softly, gesturing to his strange additional limbs, ears flicking as if to make a point. “I was able to escape a while ago, but without a log pose I’ve just been trying to get from island to island, whatever gets me as far away from them as possible.”

“I see.” Robin hummed, familiarity flickering in her eyes. “It must have been hard to have to run like that. I can’t guarantee things around here are much different, but I can assure you I won’t be the one to turn you in.”

“Thank you….” Zayne mumbled a little, giving her a soft smile in response. “Though now I’m a bit worried about the guy that saved me. I mean, from the way you’re putting things, you make it sound like he’ll be the one to sell me back to the pirates.”

“I suppose to him, it depends on your use. He’s… crude, like that.” She answered with a sigh, casting her own gaze to the ground as she adjusted her posture and returned her attention to the strange man. “Speaking of, what exactly are you, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Oh, well- I’m me?” The boy shrugged with an awkward laugh. “I mean- you might have to be more specific, I’m a lot of things.”

“I mostly meant your tail and such.” Robin chuckled softly. “Are you a zoan user?”

“Oh! No, I’m not a power holder. I’m my own species. I guess you could consider my kind closest to what you’d call a werewolf, except I’m not a wolf, I’m a fox. If that makes sense? We’re distant cousins to Minks!”

“Well, I’ve certainly heard and seen weirder.” Robin smiled. “Truthfully, thats all I wanted to know personally, but my boss may want to know more about you, since he’s the one that found you.”

“So let’s go and meet him!” Zayne piped up eagerly, already beginning to stand out of bed with a bit of a wobble.

“Not just yet, though I’m sure he’d appreciate your tenacity.” She laughed, sweeping in to catch the boy before he fell. “Though you should probably drink some more water first, and eat. We also have a shower and spare clothes since I’m sure wandering around for so long wouldn’t have allowed for many opportunities like that.”

“Oh, um… thank you, miss Robin.” The little fox smiled, his tail beginning to sway in a soft wag as she helped steady him on his feet, handing him another cup of water.

“Oh please, its just Robin.”

“Okay then, thank you Robin!” Zayne smiled as he finished another cup.

“It’s really no problem,” She smiled, handing a small charcuterie board over to the boy. “Now eat, or at least a snack to regain some of your energy.”

Zayne’s tail beat steady thumps against the cushions of the bed as he began to eat from the board, scarfing down almost the entirety of cheeses and meats from it while completely avoiding the selection of fruits.

“Didn’t think you’d be so selective.” Robin commented, taking a grape from the board.

“Never really been a fan of plants.” The boy shrugged, taking another cup of water.

“I see. Well I’ll have to make note of that for your stay.”

“My stay? What do you mean?” Zayne mused, his ears tilting with his head as he looked at her with curiosity.

“Ah, well I suppose he’ll probably explain it.” Robin hummed, taking another grape. “You see, leaving this place isn’t very simple. Not many do once they meet him.”

“You mean I won’t have to run anymore?” The fox suddenly perked, his tail wagging even faster as he leaned forward with intense interest. “The guy who saved me won’t sell me out? Won’t give me back to those pirates?”

“Of course not.” Robin smiled, though it didnt quite reach her eyes. “But you probably won’t be able to go back home either.”

“I… don’t have a home to go back to.” Zayne sighed, his black ears flattening against his head. “They burned it to the ground.”

“Oh…” Robin whispered with a small gasp, a solomn look crossing her face. “I… know what thats like. It’s not pleasant. You don’t have to speak of it if it hurts.”

“Thank you…” The boy sighed, tail curling in over his lap. “I just hope your boss will be as understanding. I don’t want to go back out there, not while they could still be hunting me.”

“I’m sure he will be.” Robin assured, standing to gather the now empty board and cup. “He’s more understanding than most would think, though hes a shrewd buisnessman and always knows how to get exactly what he wants. He may have saved you, but my word of advice? Be wary of him.”

“Thanks for the tip.” The boy hummed as he stood eyeing the ajar bathroom door as he did so. “I assume the shower is in there?”

“Yes, I’ll bring you some spare clothes for when you’re done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The new robes Robin had left for him were soft, cozy pajamas dyed a deep, cactus green that seemed almost dull against the bright blue shock of his eyes. The shirt of it all was oversized just enough that it hid the way the hem of the pants dipped to accommodate the bushy tail that extended from what would be the lower back of a normal person., the under half of the tail a vibrant ember flash of dusty red now that the sand and dirt had been washed away.

Along with the clothes was a small note from Robin, informing the fox that she had to attend to some buisness, but he was welcome to visit the boss’s office just down the hall, and so Zayne had curiously ventured out, his bare feet hardly making any sound as he shuffled across the soft, carpeted hallway, adoring the texture of it beneath his soles as he walked. Occasionally, he glanced down at the paper held between his fingertips indicating the general direction for how to get to the office so that the little fox wouldn’t become too lost.

After a while of walking, Zayne arrived at a large set of doors that were very ornate and with darkly stained wood that contrasted with the cream-colored walls of the hallway. Hesitantly, he raised his hand to knock a few gentle raps against it, though he got no response aside from a light creak as one of the double doors slid open a small crack, indicating they were unlocked.

“Well… Miss Robin did say he was wanting to see me… and I don’t have anywhere else to wait.” Zayne reasoned to himself before pushing the door in even more. “I’m sure he’d understand.”

The door continued to creak as he cautiously pushed it forward, opening it up into the yawning darkness of the office inside, the golden light from the hallway spilling forward into the room as Zayne walked inside, the feet tapping softly from the change of carpet to cold, blue tile.

“Hello..?” Zayne called, his ears perking as he listened to his own voice echo throughout the large, seemingly empty room. “Is anyone in here..?”

His eyes swiftly adjusted to the darkness as he closed the door behind himself, admiring the ornate decor of the grand office. The walls were lined with grandiose floor to ceiling windows framed by deep violet curtains, a faint blue hue to them as they seemingly looked out into the ocean itself, as if the room itself were underwater. A lone desk sat further towards the back of the room, a singular desk lamp glowing a dull orange as paperwork and a quill sat atop the darkened wood, a dreary Den Den Mushi fast asleep off to the side of it all. Two plush, deep forest green chairs sat on one side of the desk, facing towards it a bit lower as if made for much smaller visitors, yet also emphasizing the sheer size of it all, as if the room was made for a person twice the size.

The enormous, high backed office chair seemed empty, and was messily spun around to be facing the submerged window as Zayne walked forward, his tail held tightly between his nervous fingertips as his ears flicked down into a pinned position, an eerie chill running up his spine at the sheer vast emptiness of the room. His eyes flicked around to see a giant archway in the middle of one of the walls, low rumbling sounds coming from it as suddenly, something enormous began to move.

The sound of scales sliding across the floor was the first to hit the little fox’s ears, then came the deep, warbling bellow that seemed to shake the room entirely as a shadow began to lumber through the ornate archway. Closer and closer it came until the snout of an enormous alligator shuffled through, the lizard’s cold, golden eyes glaring forward at the tiny fox before it let out a huff that blew across the floor, emphasizing its already incredible size.

Zayne felt like a speck before the monsterous lizard, though he also couldn’t help but be incredibly curious, if possibly to his own detriment as he walked closer to the beast, gazing upwards in awe as it towered before him. It was almost as tall as the cathedral-like roof as it too shuffled closer, the spines down its back just barely brushing against the top of the archway as it passed through, easily reaching a height of 40 feet, maybe more, and it was entirely impossible to guess at how long it was as barely even the front half was all the way through the arch.

The fox’s breath hitched in his throat as he stepped closer, sure he was about to die from such a massive creature, but he knew he’d be rolling in his grave if he never got to learn what it would be like to touch such a beautiful creature as he reached his hand out and pressed it against the beast’s cool, green scales. He gasped a little as the creature seemed to hum with a deep, gutteral noise in response, not caring about the little man’s touch in the slightest as Zayne eagerly began to slide his hand across the reptile’s body, feeling every dip and curve of the individual scales with a brilliant smile adorning his face, his tail relaxing into a steady wag at the excitement of it all.

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Purred a honey sweet voice deeper than the sea from just behind him, the succulent baritone rumbling down his spine as it awaited an answer.

“Y-yes, shes goregous…” Zayne agreed hurriedly after a small yelp of surprise before turning around to face the owner of the voice.

As he turned, he came to realize that the chair that had been facing the window was spun around, and sitting back against it, perfectly hidden by the frame of it all was a tall, muscular man, long obsidian hair slicked back against his scalp except for a few rogue strands that fell just barely in front of his face. His eyes were droopy, deep-set pools of rich violet and a thick, bitter cigar hung from his teeth like a chunk of carrion in a lion’s maw, practically a decoration in and of itself as the man breathed out deep puffs of thick, hazy smoke. Across the man’s nose bridged an even, tightly stitched scar, practically splitting his face in two as it crinkled up around his eyes hazed by dark shadowy bags.

His chest was broad and powerful, shrouded only by the soft fur of a coat falling around him. In his right hand, he held a folded up newspaper, glittering rings adorning every finger and shimmering in the lamplight as he set the paper down with a casual slide before bringing that same bejeweled hand up to the cigar in his mouth, taking another slow, steady drag from it. His other hand lay in his lap, or at least what seemed to remain of it as instead, a glittering, golden hook, base bulbous like a beehive rested in his lap, the hook’s curve twisting like an impatient finger against his knee.

“You know, it’s quite rare I have someone come into my office so boldly like you did.” The man purred as he rose from his seat, standing to a towering height at least double Zayne’s, if not more so as he closed the distance, peering down at the little fox through discerning eyes. “Let alone someone without fear of such an enormous creature like her. Most would be more concerned about wether or not they’ll be her next meal.”

“W-well, I don’t think I will, hopefully.” Zayne stammered, looking back at the creature with curious blue eyes.

“And why’s that?”

“Because I’m told you saved me!” Zayne piped up, returning his gaze to the man as the man’s right hand pressed against the creature’s smooth scales, giving her a gentle stroke. “And you wouldn’t save someone just to kill them… right?”

“Such strange trust in someone you hardly know.” Mused the man, a dangerous glint in his eyes as he smirked. “But yes, I don’t intend to kill you, yet. I’m not that kind of man. Everything has a use.”

“What… is she, anyways?” Zayne asked, changing the subject a bit as his tail tucked against his leg, on edge from the implications of the previous sentence. “I’ve never seen something like her before.”

“Oh, she’s a bananawani. A truly powerful beast.” The man smiled, a hint of grim fondness in his gaze as he continued to pet the reptile. “The only known predator of sea kings, quite admirable for both their ferocity and sheer power. More importantly though, what are you?”

Zayne froze as he felt that predatory gaze wander over to him again, his ears trying to hide themself in the fluff of his hair as his hands went back to his tail, wringing and teasing at the fur in a nervous pattern as he turned his own gaze to the floor, unease settling into his bones as he remembered the grim warning Robin had given him. The hair on his neck bristled as he worried about what this man would do with the information, what might happen if he was careless enough to misstep and anger the giant of a man, and wether he’d even live to regret it if he crossed him.

“Such a quiet little thing all of a sudden.” Came the low chuckle as the man moved closer, though Zayne was too frightened to take a step away, his prey-like gaze locked solidly on the sharp curve of the golden hook on the man’s left arm. “I’m not going to sell you, if that’s your worry. I’m not one of those mongrels of Sabaody, I simply wish to know what you can do.”

“S-shapeshifter.” Zayne finally mumbled, trying to come up with some way he could be useful to this man. “I’m a shapeshifter, o-of sorts. I can only really do one other shape though, my given shape, but everyone on my island is born able to do it with their given shape.”

“And does your ‘shape’ as you call it have something to do with these cute little ears you’ve been trying to hide?” The man teased with a hum, his right hand reaching forward to gently pinch at the fuzzy base of the fox’s ears, causing them to spring forward, revealing themself from the mess of hair they had been trying to scurry away into. “Or are they just decorations?”

Zayne’s face grew flushed and heated at the man’s carless minstrations, the gentle pulls and tugs of his ears as his well manicured fingernails and caloused fingertips gave the lightest of scritches in just the right spot of the thin skin that sent the fox’s tail into an eager wag, despite the intimidation he felt from the far larger man. A small sound almost like a purr struggled its way out of his throat against his will as the petting continued, his ears fluttering against the soft touches that urged an answer out of him.

“It’s my animal type… I’m a fox, can turn into one.” Zayne muttered, desperately trying to resist the way he wanted to melt into this man’s arms in the moment as he took a hesitant step back, freeing his ears from that sinful grip.

“Care to show me?”

Softly, Zayne nodded, feeling the familiar numbness spreading down his arms as he allowed his body to shift and bend. Smaller and smaller he shrank, bones crunching and crackling as his joints reversed, becoming more canine and feral until his fingers became stubby little toes, palms bulging and reddening as dark, soot colored fur sprouted all across his skin. Along his underbelly bloomed bright embers of orange fur that mixed with the black, and his mouth and nose elongated, skull filling out with sharp, jagged teeth in a yawning stretch before it snapped shut again, the new snout now topped with a wet little nose. His ballooned palms suddenly shrank and became tiny pink pawpads that softly pressed against the tile as he reverted to all fours before delivering a final shake of his body, revealing the form of a small fox only slightly larger than that of a domestic cat.

“Well now,” The man purred, his smirk widening as he stared down at the much smaller figure. He twirled his cigar in his hand, tapping it against the ashtray on his desk a few times before bending down to scoop the little animal up by the scruff of his neck, bringing him closer to his face where he blew out a long, foggy cloud of bitter smoke. “Isn’t that something?”

Zayne coughed, his nose scrunching in discomfort as the sour smoke invaded his sensitive nostrils, an all too adorable sneeze forcing the particles out as he shook his head at the smoke. His paws dangled underneath him as he was held up like a naughty feline, hoping that his little display had impressed the man enough to keep him around.

“W-well..?” Zayne asked with a tilt of his head, voice sounding a bit higher with his smaller voicebox.

“And you talk like this?” Came the deep, rolling chuckle tainted with a smoker’s rasp as the man’s eyebrows raised in mild surprise. “Well, aren’t you the curious little thing. Can you bark?”

“What?”

“Can. You. Bark?” The giant man repeated, each enunciation bringing his face even closer until his deep violet eyes seemed drill holes through Zayne’s skull, making it difficult to maintain eye contact at all as the fox instead turned his gaze downwards in mild embarrassment.

Slowly, not wanting to anger the man that held him in such a tiny form, Zayne felt his maw opening, a soft pant preparing him before he let out a tiny yip that sounded somewhere between a scream and a meow before making one last squeak and closing his muzzle again. Bright blue, expectant eyes gazed at the hooked man’s face for any type of expression to judge if his little sound was good enough, tiny ears flat against his head as he nervously stared forward into those deep violet pools of uncertain frost, the man’s mood entirely unreadable except for the slow stretch of a reptilian grin.

“That’s a good boy.” Came the low, rumbling chuckle that rattled the fox to his core, a soft warmth flushing through him at the sound and he was thankful a blush didn’t appear beneath his charcoal fur as the enormous man set him back down on the ground with a soft stroke through his fur. “I think I have just the job for you, once you get settled.”

“Really?” Zayne perked, his form shifting back to a more humanoid one, though it still sat on the floor with the posture of a dog as his tail dusted the tiles with excitement. “You’ll let me stay?”

“Of course, under the condition that you work and report exclusively to me, little one.”

“Report..?” The fox questioned curiously.

“Yes, you’re the perfect ruse to be used as a spy. No one would suspect an animal to be my eyes and ears into my ranks.” The man purred. “That’s why, so long as you can keep up the act that you’re nothing more than a mere pet of mine, with no way to communicate, I can leave you in meetings while I step out of the room to get an idea of what my allies or enemies may really be plotting. A simple job, truly.”

“I see… and- forgive me for asking- but… who exactly am I reporting to?” Zayne asked, still having neglected to get the name of such a threateningly attractive man.

“I go by many names, little one.” He hummed, using the curve of his hook to tilt the shapeshifter’s chin upwards as he gazed down through cold-unfeeling eyes, a prideful grin stretched wide across his face. “And since you’re my spy, you may call me by any. Some call me by my codename, Mr. 0, while others more knowledgeable, like you and dear Miss Nico Robin, may call me by my true name. Sir Crocodile.”

“T-the warlord?” Zayne stammered, having only heard whispers of the name in the months he was on the run.

“Precisely.” Confirmed the man in question, the look upon his face seeming darker than before as he took another drag from his cigar. “It seems my reputation precedes me?”

“Only the occasional story…” The fox admited, tail curling in on itself. “You’re a pirate. A legal one, sure, but a pirate’s a pirate.”

“Mh, perhaps. But I’m not like the slavers that caught you.” Crocodile mused, rounding his desk to take his seat again with a springy slouch, flapping out the newspaper with his right hand as he casually returned to whatever reading he had been doing. “I prefer to strike deals when I get a chance, especially with sweet little things like yourself. I can be generous when I wish to be.”

“And…” Zayne began, rising to his feet with a dry gulp, doing his best to swallow all his nerves as he stood before the warlord’s desk, his curiosity getting the better of him. “And what if I say no? What if I run away?”

“You wont.” Crocodile laughed in response, his smokey crackle vibrating through his chest before those piercing eyes peered over the newspaper at the fox again.

“Why not? You think I can’t?”

“Mh, yes and no.” He responded with a shrug. “For one, you’re desperate for safety, safety I am oh so graciously offering you. I saved your life, and so long as you work for me and be a good little brat, I’ll continue to keep you safe. Second, you couldn’t even get out those doors before I grabbed you.”

“I’m faster than you think.” Zayne huffed, his chest puffing out defiantly a bit with self pride.

“Oh I’m sure.” Came the sarcastic drone from the man as he set his newspaper back down, a twinge of annoyance wrinkling his brow. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you one try, free of charge. One try where I won’t punish you for your feeble attempt, so try and make it interesting, boy.”

With a soft, hesitant shuffle, the fox adjusted himself before shifting suddenly and violently, paws scrabbling against tile as he made a mad dash for the exit, not out of any real attempt to escape, but rather an attempt to prove himself to the challenge he had been offered. His ears flicked softly at the coarse sound of grain against stone, grinding like the shuffle of sandpaper and crunching like packed snow as a warm, arid wind began to blow from behind, though the little fox didn’t slow in his movements, seeing those massive doors grow closer and closer with every dash until the wind swept by him, sand coming from seemingly nowhere as it swarmed around him like a rolling storm. Golden, glittery grains raced past, tangling into his fur unpleasantly before gathering in a pile in front of the door, a pile that quickly grew larger and larger and swiftly took shape into the warlord’s figure, though Zayne had been certain he had just been behind the desk as his claws dug into the tile, slipping as he careened to a stop into the man’s leg, only to be scooped up by the scruff by the man’s right arm.

“What did I tell you?” He sighed, face still forming from the individual grains as he held the fox. “You couldn’t even make it to the door.”

“You cheated though.” The fox pouted with a soft sneeze, earning an eyebrow raise from the warlord.

“There is no ‘cheating’ at life, little fox.” He spoke, low and threatening. “You either win at all costs, or you die trying. You should be grateful I’m even letting you live with what knowledge you have been granted from this room.”

“Yes sir…” Zayne spoke with a soft whine, ears pinning back down to his head as he averted his gaze from his new boss.

“Good. Now that you understand your place here, run along.” Crocodile sighed as he set the little fox back down on the ground. “Robin will show you to your accommodations, any questions should be directed towards her. I will call for you when I am in need of your services, and unless called for, don’t bother me. Is that understood, boy?”

“Yes sir.” Zayne nodded, shifting back into himself with an expression like a scolded child as the warlord stepped out of the way of the door, opening it for the boy expectantly. “Just- one last question?”

“What is it now?” Crocodile grimaced, glaring down with an annoyed expression.

“How did you know I was a boy?”

“Are you not one?” Came another question in response, tone a touch gentler than before, genuine concern costing the warlord’s expression.

“I am… but,” Zayne began, gesturing to his chest awkwardly. “Y’know.”

“The appearance of one’s form doesn’t necessarily indicate alignment with gender.” Crocodile hummed. “If I am incorrect in my assumption or refferal to you, correct me as needed, and do not hesitate to correct others.”

“But how-“

“I have my ways.” He interrupted. “Now go, unless you wish to ask any more questions?”

“No sir.” Zayne responded with a curt nod of gratitude before exiting the room, tail tucked against his legs as he shuffled out hurriedly, the door closing behind him.

He could feel the way Crocodile’s eyes lingered as the door shut with a click, though the little fox shrugged the discomfort away with a soft shake of his shoulders before taking a deep breath, reminding himself that as long as he behaved, he’d be fine. Everything was going to be totally, and completely fine.

“I see you weren’t eaten alive by his pets.” Came a smooth, taunting comment, and Zayne’s attention swiveled to the woman in a pristine white cowboy hat currently walking towards him from down the hall. “How did it go?”

“Robin!” He greeted with a smile, tail starting up into a gentle wag. “It went alright I think? He didn’t kill me and hes not going to sell me so, I’d call that a success! Though, he’s kind of a hermit if you ask me. He said I’d report to you mostly!”

“My you have so many things to say about him.” She chuckled with a smile. “I have my own report to place with him, but I suppose I should show you to your quarters for the evening before you start getting weary.”

“Mh, that’d probably be good too.” Zayne mewled as he stretched his limbs out, rocking back against his heels as his tail swished calmly. “Lead the way!”

“Of course.” Robin smiled, waving her hand softly as an invitation to follow as she began to walk down the halls. “You’re awfully chipper after the meeting, weren’t you frightened of him at all?”

“A little at first, but he seems nice enough.”

“How so?”

“He likes animals, treats them well too. I’ve got some experience with reptiles, and judging by how those bananawani behave and look, he takes good care of them. How big is their tank?”

“Tank?”

“Yeah!” The fox continued excitedly, his mouth running a mile a minute and his tail beating heavily back and forth. “I could see that office is underwater from the windows, and it seems to be the main access point into the tank from the arch, so I was curious how big it was?”

“Oh there’s no tank!” Robin chuckled. “This entire building is in the center of a giant oasis fed by the sea. You should be able to see part of it from your room’s window actually.”

“See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Plenty of space for them to swim around and also able to keep them well fed and docile enough to be handled! Its impressive.”

“He’d probably be very proud that you think so highly of his care.” Robin mused out loud as she guided the fox to an elevator, wordlessly gesturing him to follow.

“You think so?” Zayne mused as his tail wagged eagerly, stepping into the elevator beside the dark-haired woman. “I wonder if he’d let me take care of them sometime, I mean, despite the fact hes a pirate, he didn’t seem too bad. I mean, the navy clearly trusts him if they made him a warlord, right?”

“Perhaps, though I wouldn’t be that fast to trust the navy, little fox.”

“Why not?”

“They have their own secrets, and aren’t strangers to putting bounties on children.” Robin sighed, a pained look stretching across her face. “You should be careful who you put your trust in. Not everyone is deserving of such innocent trust, especially not pirates nor the navy.”

“If you say so…” Zayne huffed with a sheepish shrug, ears pricking when the elevator finally dinged to a new floor.

With a gesture of a nod, Robin stepped out of the elevator as the doors slid open, inviting the fox to follow as they quietly walked through what looked like the hall of a hotel, bright emerald carpeting with faint golden scale decals tracing out an endless pattern through the space, muting their footsteps and any other echoes that might disturb any residents. Each door was a bright, deep mahogany red, golden doorknobs and accents adorned each one while golden sconces lit the hall in a comfortable, amber glow.

Eventually, after only a few moments of walking, Robin stopped at a door numbered 469 before glancing over at the younger man and pulling out a shiny golden key.

“Here, this is yours for as long as you stay with us here.” She smiled, tossing the boy the key.

“Thank you.” Zayne replied with a bit of a shy nod, slotting the shimmering metal into the hole that it was made for, his ears pricking as the pegs clicked into place and unlocked the door with a satisfying clunk.

The glittering knob of the door pushed forward with ease, the hinges barely making a sound as the well cared for door opened to reveal a modest, but luxurious room.

Truthfully, it was quite spacious for a mere hotel room, boasting a tight but well polished kitchen with glossy marble countertops and the best appliances money could buy mere steps away from a comfortable living room. Dark, fern-colored velvet lined the plush couch and dual armchairs in the living area, a soft oak coffee table sat perfectly in the center with various magazines neatly set out for complimentary perusal. Against the wall sat a well stocked home bar, whiskey glasses glinting in the soft amber of sunset that streamed in from the wall to ceiling mirrors framed by deep golden curtains.

Closer to the windows sat a goregous four poster canopy bed with matching emerald sheets, and as Zayne oressed his hand into the mattress, he practically shuddered at how deep his arm sank into the soft, plump mattress. It would be like sleeping on a cloud, he imagined, eyelids already feeling drowsy just thinking about sprawling across the surface and snuggling into those warm, heavy sheets, his tail beginning a steady wag at his wandering thoughts of sleep.

Suddenly, a soft click grabbed his attention, his ears springing upwards and swiveling towards the sound as his gaze soon followed, finding Robin standing in the kitchen, her fingertips placing a small card on the counter.

“Your allowance.” She explained as if the question was already hanging in the air. “Mr. 0 gives all his employees an allowance, though I can’t begin to imagine how he tracks all the numbers. This card is yours, you may use it to buy anything you’d like or would need.”

Zayne’s expression scrunched as he looked down at himself, remembering how he didn’t really own any extra clothes as of yet, and probably could use a new style anyways.

“Thank you, Robin.” He nodded politely.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it. I can usually be found in the library if you need anything, but the room’s Den-Den connects to our intelligence officers if you need to contact anyone else in the organization, and it will ring to give you information on meetings and such.” Robin smiled with a hum at the bashful fox before turning towards the door to leave, her hand lingering on the handle as she sent one last expression of warmth the boy’s way. “Welcome to Baroque Works.”

#self insert fanfiction #sir crocodile #sir crocodile x self insert #sir crocodile x zayne foxx #WHEN I TELL YOU I WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR THIS #LIKE HOOOOOO BOY #i love this man so SO MUCH

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