#hope the thread makes sense here. i'm just deeply obsessed with all of this

[jakeperalta]

(The Signal™ as an act of love/understanding)

[zehecatl]

2025 media thread, part January

5th January: Loddlenauts

man, i just really liked Loddlenauts. i don't really have a lot to say about it- it's the very ideal of a cozy game, in my opinion- but it was just such a nice little treat of a game, and i really enjoyed my time with it

i'm a huge fan of ocean settings, so this was destined to end up in my library at some point or another, but as a game, i actually find it very compelling- cleaning up GUP-14 was rather addiction, and i ended up finishing the game in only two settings. and, of course, the addition of the Loddles themselves was such a treat. i didn't get as attached to them as i'm sure some people will, but they are just- so frickin' cute. and all the different designs are really fun and pleasing to look at, and i like how that system worked, even if i had to cheat a little towards the end

i really hope this team makes more games, because there's something distinct here- i'm not sure i'd call it special, but i do think i'll think back on this game fondly, which is pretty special, i guess

if nothing else, it's a really good game to sit down with, and just enjoy. and we can never have enough of those

6th January: Sheepy: A Short Adventure

wow, what a phenomenal little game! it's short (probably around an hour), and also free, so there's honestly no reason not to check this one out

while there's obviously not a lot to dig into, here, it builds scale so well, and perfectly nails this very epic and grand vibe. also, the pixel art is absolutely gorgeous

10th January: Home Safety Hotline

genuinely just such a wonderfully creative experience!! i played this with the fiancee, so i didn't get to read the entries as deeply as i otherwise likely would have, but man. what a fantastic little game

the creature designs are great, like i don't think there's a single one i didn't like, and the game manages to nail this perfect sense of reality, while still obviously leaning into the horror of it all. like, yeah, sure, slugs the size of dogs that primarily stay near stairs, why not. it all feels cohesive, and makes sense within the world

also, i love how the game balances humour and horror- it's such a hoot of a game, and i don't wanna spoil anything, but oh my god, the endings. the endings are perfect

also- the DLC is so good. and i love it so much. and if they ever release another DLC, i will be on that shit so fast

10th January: Nosferatu

a genuinely amazing movie. absolutely beautiful cinematography, simple-but-complex story, and a cast that feels very human. i've never seen the original (or, to be honest, a proper Dracula adaptation), but i adored this story- the darkness of it, while still keeping it realistic. the use of colours is so stunning here, the way it sometimes shifts into black-and-white, before bringing colours back in, either as a pale, washed out thing, or properly bright and saturated. like. absolutely obsessed??

also, i adore Ellen as a character, and her relationship with Thomas, and, of course, the Nosferatu himself. like. it's just so good and i keep on thinking about a scene and going ough, that was so good to myself

also! no cats were harmed!! at all!! like they were just there to be cute and cat-y, and i love that for them. for me. perfection, actually

12th January: Tinykin

really solid and excellent 3d platformer/collectathon. this one was super popular back when it released, and while i can't say it didn't deserve that hype, it didn't hit me quite that hard

it's really good! the graphics are genuinely excellent, and the gameplay is just all around solid, but, idk- it didn't quite compel me as much as it seemingly did everyone else. definitely a 'should play' if you're a 3d platformer fan, and i absolutely do not regret playing it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i will say though, the world building here is really fun. as a story, it's rather flat, and i think giving Milo a voice would have added a lot, and also make way more sense, but as a setting, i really liked this one! always a fan of 'little guys in big places', and this one was such a joy for that

15th January: Balatro

oh Balatro... i wish i liked you more than i do

i get why it's as popular as it is- i think it's a very good game. but it's honestly just not my thing. i did manage to get one win, and i do like it, but it doesn't click, and while i might poke at it some more, i think i'm kind of done with it. at least for now

did still manage to get 4.5 hours out of me, so, like. that's something?

26th January: Into The Emberlands

a very chill little exploration game. it's not anything super deep, and it's very 'fetch quest', but i found it pretty relaxing and nice to play. also very cute graphics!

it's supposedly a bit of a roguelike, but outside of the fact that dying takes away some of your upgrades, it didn't really hit that genre for me- it's also pretty easy to avoid dying, and i think i only died four times? and one of those times, it was because i got too careless, haha

[goldazu]

Hiatus Update Notice

Hello, everyone. Long time, no talk. I know over a month has passed since most of you have even heard from me. There isn’t a particularly valid reason for this other than that sometimes I need space for myself, and I need time for my other hobbies and communities as well.

As most of you may have already surmised before my long period of silence, I was very much drawn to the new Pokemon games and still am, to be honest. Truth told, I have a whole server dedicated to my Pokemon friends and those who just want to game in general with me. Although I still love DL and am still just as, if not more obsessed with Ruki than ever, there was a time when writing as often and as much as I did burnt me out, honestly. I needed this break.

Not to sound like I'm complaining about how "popular" I am or anything, but it came to a point when many people were showing off their creations, whether it was art or new writing to me, and simply wanting to chat OOC in addition to the long RP threads and asks that I was also doing. Eventually, I felt as though I was just answering and replying people just to answer them. I didn't want to show my support for my friends' hard work by simply being like "that's neat" then move on, if that makes sense. Outside of Tumblr, I still had a life to attend to which also kept me busy.

I do appreciate that everyone was always eager to interact with me and send their wonderful OCs off to Ruki for their daily fill of shenanigans, angst, spice, or what have you. Yet at the same time, there were moments when I felt somewhat pressured to answer a lot of things in a short time frame, or was written off as remiss for my lack of participation with certain events. For that, I deeply regret not being there, but I also think I was there as much as any one person could be given that I was always writing with 20-30 other people at the same time.

Don't get me wrong—I really do miss roleplaying with everyone, and chatting with you all as well. It's just that I've fallen very behind on who I need to reply to, both DMs and thread-wise. It began to feel mentally taxing, but I hope to finally catch up when I'm in a better place. And I will always sincerely appreciate how many people on this website admire me for my canon portrayal of Ruki. I've always tried to keep it 100% fair on my blog and interact with people the same amount, regardless of how many asks or threads they try to start. Some of you would try to keep it to one thread at a time, whereas others had quite a few going with me, and both are fine. I just need to make it clear that, given the high volume of people interacting with my blogs, I won't always have a lightning-fast reply speed.

As for where I've been, my Pokemon community and discord server is honestly such a great place. Everyone there is super chill, and we hop onto voice call every other day to be sweaty gamers, lmao. I've connected with people I really respect these days, and while Ruki provides his support and care during his rare moments of sweetness amidst the sadism, I've been looking to my close friends for care, too.

Anyway, it was never my intention to worry anyone here with my prolonged absence. I hope to always stick around here on Tumblr, whether my activity is one post per day or thirty when I'm feeling energetic. It really all depends. Take care and stay well.

[mental-health-advice]

Hey.

For a while I feel like my friendship with this person has become inherently codependent.

I didn't realise how much I needed to be needed by him until recently. I put a lot of my self worth on him and in the process put him above everything else. And I felt justified because he was going through a tough time. And I don't want to judge him, but he isn't exactly the best person. He can be extremely cruel to other people and selfish. But I never questioned anything he did because I wanted him to like me. I didn't neglect any other things like school and stuff. I kept on top of it, but most of my free time was taken up for him, having conversations that I really didn't want to and I enjoyed myself most of the time but sometimes I felt like I outgrew his company. I made up versions of him in my head that were so much better than real life. This was aggravated because we were all in lockdown and I couldn't meet other people. I've only ever known him through phone calls for a while and the two months we actually met in in person school were spent with him feuding against my other friends in his quest for power. I always found it impossible to pick a side in these situations, because the others were right but I wanted to please him too. I was incapable of refusing anything he said. I always had to hide away a part of me because I was afraid he wouldn't like me then. And he could be very controlling too. He thought he was above everyone and the school director kind of favoured him too, so he had a lot of plans for a very unsafe event. But then schools shut down again and he became really depressed and was suicidal and tried to pin everything on me at one point, just because I respected my mother's words. I tried to be there for him, and this went on for four months. I agreed to everything he said because it was easier than fighting with him. Now stuff hit rock bottom and the director has shut him out and told him to just get back to academics. Schools are opening this week and now he's really scared again.

I don't know what to say when he tells me his life sucks and that he doesn't want it. He's out of the extreme phase now and he expects everything to be handed to him without working hard for anything.

I knew he was someone who didn't care about other people and took joy in the sorrow of others but I always excused his behaviour. When things got too bad I stepped aside.

But apart from all of this, I always craved for him to call me. My happiness depended on his. I needed him to talk to me. And me only. I got insanely jealous and beat myself up inside. I worried so much about him but he didn't seem to care about me at all. When I tried to talk about my feeling it resulted in us fighting continuously, with him saying I didn't deserve him. I never needed him to respect me or my boundaries because I knew he was incapable of caring about someone else and that it wouldn't be worth my time. But now I can't take him just using me anymore. At first I just thought that I had feelings for him which caused my jealousy, but then he came out to me, but these still seem to persist. I just need him to come to me for any problem that he has, but that took a hit today, when I couldn't deal with him at all. I've read up codependent friendships and I think that's what is really going on in my head. I don't like him romantically I think, I'm just really insecure.

I don't want to be that person anymore. He doesn't respect my boundaries, my family or my interests. I'm not allowed to have an opinion because anything that he doesn't agree shouldn't be said in his presence. I feel like I'm stuck in the same place and unable to truly be myself. We are so different and my beliefs directly contradict his but I've never been able to express them to him. And he calls himself my best friend. Our other best friend, is kinda in between. She regularly argues with him and demands respect, but he doesn't even consider it. But when he has a problem we have to drop everything for him. And he accuses me of not trusting him. And he tells me not to say things that make him angry rudely but he doesn't do the same for me when I tell him calmly that I don't want to talk about something. He's really condescending too, and acts as of nothing matters but him. And because of the lack of going out, he was the only solace I have.

Despite this I still deeply care about him. This morning he was groaning continuously, and I told him that everyone had problems, he completely turned on me and said that I didn't get to say anything because my life was fine and that his was way more difficult. He acts as if he knows everything about me and assumes that I will be fine no matter how hard his words are. And he's kinda right, because I always come back to him. This same person told me a few minutes ago that everyone one in our grade was fine and that nothing was wrong and that someone should die, so that their life sucks. So he'll be fine if someone died and if they shut the school and the state, so that he doesn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions. He even has the nerve to whine about how he doesn't deserve any small hardship that comes his way. But life's hard and he doesn't seem to realise that there is life after your senior year in high school. He seems to think that this is all that matters. We're just sixteen and he acts like this is all we ever have. I don't know how to help him. He says he has a bad home life, but I don't know how that excuses him being a horrible human being to others for no reason. And he is privileged. I tell him to work hard this year, and next year in college he can do what he wants. But he says he wants the life of a film star without lifting a finger.

I feel like it's my responsibility to fix his issues, but he's the only one who can. I can't help someone who isn't willing to help themselves.

Moreover he doesn't even care about anything that other people are going through stuff too. And he called me selfish for implying that the world doesn't revolve around him. I've always tried to be there for him, and I still want to, but I don't think it's good for both of us. We're toxic to each other. Sometimes I wish his problems were magically fixed so that we could go back to being normal friends instead of the complete wreckage we both are.

He says no one understands hima s if he was accusing me of not caring enough about him. But I felt like I hit a breaking point and that I couldn't just nod my head anymore. I'm human being with issues of my own but he doesn't give a damn.

I can't even talk to him normally, I have to thread around eggshells to keep him happy, but I'm never happy with him. He says I don't act enthusiastic to his ideas. I hate his ideas but I'm always nice about it. I don't shut him down. I hope he gets the things he wants even if they aren't to my liking. And today he calls me boring and attacks me for not liking marvel. I mean come on can't I even have an opinion on a movie? I said I liked a ship in it ( it was a comfort ship that helped me escape) and he said I didn't have a right to have an opinion because I hadn't watched all the movies. Fandom is something that gives me joy and keeps me grounded and today he attacked something that I thought no one could. My imagination. My ability to create worlds in my head. The worst part, we met because we were both Harry Potter fans. And now he doesn't even feel like that. I helped him edit and write his debut novel. I feel like that person who believed in something is gone. He even admitted to just using me for my knowledge in the beginning.

I still feel sorry for him though. I'm really sorry if I've rambled on for too long. This has become more about him that it has about me.

I still really like him and feel that we can be friends if he starts to try to help himself and if I get rid of my insecurity and jealousy when he talks to other people. My brain is illogical. I don't want to have to deal with all of his issues all the time with no regard for myself, but I don't want him to confide in some else either.

I hate this person that I've become. Who cares about no one but him. I tried to use his issues as a shield against the problems going on in my own life. I try not to let anyone see that I don't have my life together either, because I feel bad about bothering others with my issues, when they have a million struggles of their own, but isn't that what he's doing to me? He disregards my feelings but I'm still very much obsessed with him.

I've lost my sense of self respect completely, and I pushed away other people for him.

I need to stop being codependent on him, and start at least liking myself.

Please help me. I'm sorry if this is too long. I seriously needed to get this off my chest.

And I apologise if I bothered you with my silly problems. I know there are more important things in the world but I seem stuck here. I don't want to appear ungrateful for anything so I pretend that everything is fine. And honestly I feel like I can never be not okay with a wonderful mother like mine. Oh and he hates her too. I just can't seem to win with him. My dad though is a whole nother issue.

This guy gets on my nerves, but I still need him to be happy too. But I shouldn't have to carry that burden. Right?

Hey there,

Due to your Ask being so long, we kindly ask you to resend your Ask and try to keep to our new 700 word limit if at all possible. Long Asks are very difficult for us to answer as there is just way too much information for us to take into account which means that often the Ask will be in our inbox for a lot longer as we don’t always have the capacity to answer them.

We hope that you understand and we are sorry for the inconvenience!

I hope that you are going well!

Take care,

Lauren