#how did I completely break this situation without actually violating any rules you may ask?

[tmae3114]

the other day, a friend of mine invited me over to testplay a paper-and-pencil storytelling game he's been working on for a while and feels like he's finally got a workable version of and one of his mentioned reasons was that "you're a fellow storyteller, I want to see what you'll do with it"

I promptly created a character which violated exactly zero (0) rules but nonetheless obliterated one of the core intended mechanical limitations of the game and I didn't even do that on purpose

after the game, when we were laughing about this, he admitted that one of his other reasons for asking me specifically to testplay was because he knew that "if there was anything that could be broken, you would find it and break it"

[backofthebookshelf]

One of the nice things about the way the TMA fandom has reached full large-fandom levels of toxicity is that I no longer care if people get mad at me for my opinions on characters! So, some Georgie meta.

(Because fandom is and always has been Like That, I do feel the need to clarify here that I love Georgie, she's one of my favorite characters, characters are more interesting because of their flaws, and I have no investment in the idea that women or female characters are inherently better or more emotionally competent than men or male characters. If I talk a lot about her relationship with Jon, it's because Jon is our point of view character and also the person she interacts with the most. Also, this rambles, sorry.)

I've been thinking about the Season 4 Jon Trauma post and how much I liked the way it talked about Georgie, and it's convinced me that if Georgie could feel fear, she's the one who'd be most afraid of Jon out of all of them. She's the one protagonist we have whose only interaction with the powers has been as a direct victim of them. She doesn't know what they feel like from the inside, like Jon and Melanie; she doesn't know what they're like when they're someone you love, like Basira; she doesn't even know what they're like as petty middle management, like Martin and Tim. What she knows is that one time a monster ate her (only) friend and traumatized her so badly she spent a year in a suicidal depression.

And now her ex - and yes, Jon and Georgie have a remarkably comfortable relationship in the beginning of season three, but they're still exes and they broke up for reasons, even if we don't know exactly what they are - has turned up on her doorstep, shaking and possibly bloody, with nowhere else to go and no access to his home. He's clearly lying about what's going on. He repeatedly violates her house rules. And then he tells her that he's turning into one of those same kinds of monsters that traumatized her and ate her friend. It's clearly enough to override any remaining affection she had for him, and by any definition he has now positioned himself as a trigger.

(Through no fault of his own: the only real response he has to Georgie's statement is "I can't believe you didn't tell me." She's the one who assumes that he Knew, somehow, that she also had a statement; she's the one who suggests he had alternatives. Both suggestions are plausible but we don't actually know for certain that either are true.)

But Georgie isn't afraid of Jon because Georgie can't be afraid -at least, according to her. I'm not sure how much I believe this in the grand scheme of things; it seems like an extremely unlikely mechanism for one of the fears to have. It seems much more likely to me that she's just never met anything as terrifying as that encounter was, and her subjective sense of fear has been massively recalibrated. In which case not only meeting but having hosted in your home another monster who self-describes as similar to the one that was so terrifying that literal threats to your life are no longer distressing would...probably ping. But she's conceptualized herself as a person who doesn't feel fear; it's even possible that was part of her recovery, identifying this as a possible benefit of what would otherwise have been a universally terrible, soul-breaking experience. She looked existential terror in the face and survived, and came out of it a person who cannot be afraid of anything left on this earth. That's kind of a superhero origin story, and I can't blame her for it. I think anyone with a mental illness has at least tried to find ways in which their suffering has made them a better, stronger person.

But whether she's suppressing and rationalizing away any fear she feels or she genuinely doesn't feel any of it, she does frequently behave as though her lack of fear gives her a more objective view of the situation than anyone else. I don't believe she actually uses the word "just," but it drips from her every interaction with Jon after Dead Woman Walking. Why doesn't he just stop reading the statements? Why doesn't he just quit? And, in Zombie, I honestly can't interpret her reaction to Jon when he wakes up from his coma as anything other than, Why doesn't he just die? If he hates being this so much, if he really doesn't want to be a monster, why doesn't he just die?

I really would like to think that it goes without saying that this is, at the very least, a massive failure of empathy, but she's so explicit about it and fandom spent so much time basically agreeing with her that apparently it doesn't. Not only is Georgie not afraid of the situation, but (and this is the part that makes me wonder if she's not rationalizing, rather than being supernaturally unable to feel fear) she can't possibly fathom how afraid everyone else is, and she never tries. She persists in treating the whole awful situation, as @findingfeather's post says, like this is a mundane problem with people who are refusing to help themselves, rather than a supernatural trap that has been specifically built to be inescapable.

Now, let me be clear, even if she were talking to, say, a drug addict who nearly killed themselves because they were in denial about how much of a problem they had, her attitude would be unforgivable. But in this case Jon had no choice in whether or not to become addicted to statements; it was done to him in such a way that he didn't notice it was happening until withdrawal was already incapacitating. He also didn't have the option to leave, as Tim's extended vacation made clear. And, on top of all of that, the whole reason he was in a coma in the first place was that he was trying to save the world. (Neither he nor she knows at this point that he was doing nothing of the kind, so that's really not relevant.) And - look, when Jon came to her after the end of season two, he was asking for help. When he rejected the kind of help that she offered it was because he knew it didn't apply to the problems he actually had, but she treats that like it's his problem, which is something like offering a leg splint to a person bleeding out from a gunshot wound and getting offended when they tell you that won't work. He was very clear that what was happening scared him and he didn't know what to do about it, and her only suggestion was "walk away," which he literally could not do, for multiple reasons.

She's lucky Jon has pretty much precisely zero self-worth at this point, because anyone else would have cut her off completely for behaving like a fucking asshole.

I say "she's lucky" because frankly, even though she says that she wants nothing more to do with him, she turns up at least twice in the Institute after that, with the excuse that she's picking up Melanie to take her to therapy. I don't know about you, but I have never once gone to someone's workplace to pick them up and gone snooping around inside, and no matter how fascinatingly weird that workplace is, I definitely can't imagine doing so when I know that workplace also contains a person I have definitely decided I never want to speak to again. She goes into the Archives, for Christ's sake, and she listens outside Jon's office door for long enough to catch a bit of the recording before letting herself in (so it's very clear she knows who's in there).

Now I'm not trying to paint her as a monster here; Georgie would hardly be the first person to have second thoughts about cutting off someone they still care about, or to break that boundary that they set themselves when they realize they do still want to know how that person is doing. But the fact is that she positions herself as having the moral high ground in every single discussion they have and that's just not true. She is not literally a supernatural monster, true, but if season four did anything with the concept of monsters it was breaking down the difference between "supernaturally driven no-longer-human" and "person capable of caring and empathy." (That's a whole different meta, though, one that I will get around to someday.) Not that Jon is any better, in that encounter specifically, at dealing with a complicated and contentious relationship - he deliberately goads her, even if he doesn't use compulsion. But that's the thing, they're both exes who have had a falling out and aren't handling it very well. Neither of them is in the right.

All of which makes me really wonder what her relationship with Melanie is actually like. We don't actually see hardly any of it directly, and of what we do, well, Melanie sounds like she's still high on painkillers, so it's hard to take that as an indication of anything. But given that people (who are not intentionally trying to manipulate those around them) tend to, y'know, be fundamentally the same person in their various relationships, though it may manifest in different ways, we can probably make some guesses.

I have always been bothered by, and I really can't ignore, the fact that they were getting together at the same time that Melanie was doing what Georgie has been demanding of Jon since season three: she did whatever it took to get out. I have to wonder if Georgie knows about the nonconsensual surgery part of Melanie's process of getting out, and if she does, if she understands how vital it was. I certainly wouldn't be surprised, if she does know, that she's managed to compartmentalize it: Jon inflicted this terrible trauma on Melanie, Melanie escaped the entity that took her over. (Subconscious implication: Jon is a monster; Melanie is better than him.) I would be very surprised if Georgie is interested at all in the fine distinctions between entities; she's shown no interest in learning what is actually happening to anyone in this situation beyond "it's bad and they should get out of it." But it's relevant, because by the time Melanie makes the decision to blind herself, she's in a much different position than Jon, enslaved by an entity but not consumed by one. She herself admitted to Jon that she would never have voluntarily escaped from the Slaughter.

And given how difficult Melanie finds it to talk about any of this - you can hear her dragging the words out from behind her teeth in her conversation with Jon in Flesh, truly incredible acting by Lydia Nicholas, my god - if Georgie doesn't want to hear it? I can't imagine Melanie insisting. Yes, Melanie is going to therapy, but let me tell you, I've been going to therapy for twelve years now and I have yet to have several of the important conversations my therapists have insisted I have. That shit is hard. But I can imagine a scenario where, having been told by her therapist (who, remember, doesn't have the first idea what Melanie is actually going through, because Melanie isn't telling her about the supernatural so she has to leave out a lot of really relevant details) that she ought to tell her friend/potential girlfriend/new girlfriend about these things, Melanie attempts to bring it up, Georgie says kind and reassuring things and refuses to let her clarify any of the details, and Melanie gives up in relief, thinking, well, I tried. Super valid all around, but it doesn't mean that Georgie has any clearer picture of what Melanie's traumas actually look like, never mind Jon's. There's no world in which I can imagine Georgie actually internalizing the idea that Melanie loved the Slaughter when it had her, and she would gladly have stayed with it if Jon and Basira hadn't intervened.

In Georgie's eyes, Melanie is being a Good Victim. She was hurt but she was strong; she fought it until she won; now she's going to therapy and setting boundaries and trying to heal. She got away.

(Except, of course, she didn't, because as of The Eye Opens no one has gotten away, because this is the entire world now. We have no idea how this has affected Melanie. Presumably she's out of reach of the Eye, given that Jon can't see her or Georgie (and there's some evidence on the side of Georgie's encounter genuinely having stripped her of fear, if she's also invisible to the Eye), but she spent a long time under the influence of the Slaughter. It had her firmly enough that her attacking Jon was enough to give him his Slaughter scar. If nothing else, Melanie certainly hasn't had her fear removed, and talk about a situation bound to retraumatize someone who had such a visceral revulsion to being trapped that Elias chose it as his mechanism of control over her. Melanie probably doesn't look like a Good Victim any more, and I'd bet her relationship with Georgie is suffering some serious strain because of it.)

We don't know when exactly Melanie and Georgie got together; the last time one of them mentions the other is, I'm pretty sure, when Georgie tells Jon that Melanie is back from India. So we know that Georgie and Melanie were friends; that's good, that's a good foundation for a romantic relationship. At the very least they know each other, they have some idea of what to expect. I'd be surprised if they were dating during that season 3/4 hiatus period, though, or frankly any time before Melanie's surgery, just because Melanie seems much too consumed with rage to have room for any other emotions, and I can't imagine Georgie putting up with that.

What seems way more likely to me is this: Melanie comes back from India, arranges to meet Georgie for drinks. Probably they don't talk about anything serious; possibly they talk about Jon, honestly, since we know Melanie was looking for him and Georgie talked to him about Melanie, but very likely in the same "stuck-up pompous ass" way that Melanie talks about Jon in early seasons. (I bet Melanie's roasts are amazing.) Shortly after that Melanie joins the Magnus Institute and then, very likely, either she never tells Georgie about it and therefore they don't talk much or she does tell Georgie about it and Georgie tells her that place is bad news and she won't have anything to do with it and they don't talk at all, until, whichever way that went, the Unknowing happens and Tim dies and Jon winds up in a coma and everything goes to shit. We know Georgie visits Jon in the hospital; we don't know if Melanie does, but frankly it seems unlikely. If they did cross paths during this time, it was probably very brief and superficial. Then: the surgery, and Melanie's recovery.

I'll be honest, I have a hard time imagining Melanie deciding on her own that she should go to therapy. It's possible Basira suggested it, but it really does sound like a Georgie thing to do. So I picture something like this: from the way Basira talks it sounds like they've all been pretty much living in the Archives for a while, and on top of that everyone in the Archives has just badly violated Melanie's trust, so Melanie pulls up her Facebook DMs and talks to the only other person she has. You were right, she says, this place is terrible, I can't handle it, there's no one here I can trust and I'm so alone. And Georgie, who is generous with help and advice (so long as it's accepted) and (like anyone) weak to being told she was right about something, starts talking to her. We know Georgie's got good boundaries, and we know she doesn't want to hear details about what's going on in the Institute, so I can see her saying, I can talk to you, I would love to talk to you, but not about this. For that you need a therapist.

So Melanie gets a therapist, and the prospect of going out amongst the monsters they know are stalking the Institute without that protective shield of rage (never mind the emotional vulnerability of going to therapy in the first place) makes public transit an unthinkable option, so she asks Georgie to take her, and she does, and she keeps taking her to therapy, which is, as far as we know, the only time Melanie leaves the Archives in season four, until she blinds herself and escapes it completely.

And so they have this relationship that's built up almost entirely around Melanie's trauma - with a foundation of friendship, certainly, so I do think that if they are willing to work through it they could make it a working, healthy relationship, but (and again this isn't stated in canon but is my speculation based on what we know about these characters) it is a romantic relationship that's built around the process of Melanie recovering from multiple traumas. Ones that we know that Georgie a) doesn't know many details about, and b) more importantly, refuses to know any details about. Now, I have no experience with romantic relationships and serious trauma; I might be wildly off base here. But. I know that boundaries are important and I know that trust is also important. And if Georgie is holding similar boundaries with Melanie that she has with Jon (and, as I went into excruciating detail about earlier, she has very solid emotional reasons to protect herself with those boundaries), that's drawing a hard line around what's basically the past two to three years of Melanie's life, and undeniably both the worst and most important things that have ever happened to her. That seems...difficult to manage in the long term.

(This is a bit more of a stretch, more of the germ of a fic idea than an argument I'm prepared to defend, but I also would not be surprised if Georgie told Melanie that she wouldn't date her while she was still working at the Institute. That's a very reasonable boundary, and it's good motivation - and probably healthy motivation, I do like the idea that Melanie had something to reach toward in escaping the Institute, not just the desperate flight from - but it's also something of an ultimatum. Which is not inherently bad, but it is the kind of thing that can fester, given other problems.)

Now it's entirely possible that Georgie isn't that internally consistent. People aren't! (See: Basira's attitude toward Daisy vs her attitude toward Jon in season four.) Maybe she's more flexible about being willing to listen to Melanie, maybe she's starting to understand some of what was happening and how genuinely impossible a situation it really was. But that has to be a struggle for her, too; it's not a perfect, sweet, unconditionally good situation that teaches you that you've been unfair to the point of cruelty to someone you used to care about. And by the time the apocalypse rolls around, Melanie is, if she's lucky, just barely able to say she's healed from the plain physical trauma of blinding, never mind all the other baggage. They've got to be having a rough fucking time of it, at the very least, even if you assume that they're suddenly both the kind of people who will sit still and listen supportively and talk honestly about their own messy and complicated emotions, when neither of them have been that kind of person before.

(Another disclaimer because Fandom Is Like That: This is in no way a condemnation of or argument against fluffy What the Girlfriends fic; fic is for making fluffy things that you want to happen to your faves, or building fluffy content that you desperately need for whatever reason. Gods know there are plenty of unhealthy parts of Jon and Martin's relationship that I ignore in most of my fluffy fic. This is me attempting to work through my thoughts and feelings about the relationship I see in canon in the hopes of actually being able to write some fic about these girls myself someday, because I personally can't write fic until I understand canon, and so much of them happens offscreen because they're not main characters, and they're written with such depth and complexity that you can't just slap a stereotype on them and call it good. Which is awesome! But it means I gotta do the work, and I post it because a) it's work, and this is fandom, and I want validation; and b) I'm hoping other people have insights that might also help me clarify my thinking.)

[pfandghoul]

what the sokovia accords really are

a quick study bc what the fuck guys

(copied from the mcu wiki entry about the accords - all of it and not just parts of it)

here goes:

The currently known regulations established by the Sokovia Accords include:

Any enhanced individuals who agree to sign must register with the United Nations and provide biometric data such as fingerprints and DNA samples.

- Any who AGREE to sign. I dont think this is asking too much. If ur working for a government agency, if ur using force in any way during ur work, I think its fair to ask you to give them biometric data. And if its only so in case there is an investigation afterwards (which their always should be imo) its clear distinguishable who was where and did what.

- Also, what if someone suddenly decides "something happened, im changing sides, imma take revenge" (no matter if its a concious decision or brainwashing 👀)? Would probably be good to have some data and perhaps be able to track them. If its managable or not- hm. But theres no harm in giving that data if ur only goal is working towards a safer world.

-----

Those with secret identities must reveal their legal names and true identities to the United Nations.

- Oh nooo, no unknown vigilantes that might make mistakes while fighting on their own and then cant be held accountable? No one is perfect, OF COURSE, but from a realistic pov I wouldnt feel safe with someone running around fighting whoever-

And I know we love the romantic comic fantasy of "everybody can be a hero", and I swear I love it as much as you! But imagine ur just a normal person while spiderman is swinging above ur head- or even imagine ur spiderman- and then one tiny thing wents wrong. The normal person is crushed, dead or paralysed- Spiderman is in shock because that was Not supposed to happen and he is so so sorry!- But what now?

- If enhanced people were to work under an organisation (that is ideally not as shady and riddled with Hydra as Shield was) then those incidents would be covered. Yes it would still be terrible but Spiderman would get mandatory therapy session to work through it and the normal person... well if theyre dead then i guess the organisation would at least pay for the funeral and compensate the family (like if they were the only one providing for partner and kids), additionally a conversation between both partys if possible.

-Basically: nothing can be swept under the rug. The enhanced people can be protected!!! PLUS they only have to reveal their identity to the UN and not the world.

---------

Those with innate powers must submit to a power analysis, which will categorize their threat level and determine potential health risks.

- This would benefit the person with power too, you realize that, dont you?

You cant possibly know how much power you actually have. Is there gonna be another level-up for you? Are you Jean Grey? We wouldnt want to repeat that specific clusterfuck, right?

But if you submit to an analysis it can help find ways to train you, circle ur weaknesses, etc.

Yes the UN would know ur threat level- and that would be bad why? Are you planning to attack Them? If not then no problem. Instead they would know if they should send you in or not- depending... you dont need a level 5 when there is a cat in a tree. We want to avoid unnecessary damage, thank you. If ur a level 1 you also dont want to be on the front lines against an alien invasion for example- better help evacuate non-powered individuals and not die immediately.

- Also worth mentioning: this is all still part of the "if you agree to sign" paragraph

-------

Those with innate powers must also wear tracking bracelets at all times.

- Yes I admit this one sucks. I could argue the pros but I dont really want to because this one is literally just a "we want to control you" rule and should be scratched.

------- (new paragraph in the accords)----

Any enhanced individuals who sign are prohibited from taking action in any country other than their own, unless they are first given clearance by either that country's government or by a United Nations subcommittee.

- I really want to think I dont have to say anything here but I feel I do.

No I do not want a guy wearing an american flag running around in my country if my government didnt explicitely allow it. Same for a giant tin man or a creepy spiderlady.

- If anything then this paragraph would help improve the communication between countries. Yes people fear that in emergencies this will all take too long but 1) thats not the Accords fault and 2) I think we already have situations like this irl and most times it does work.

---------

Governments are forbidden from deploying enhanced individuals outside of their own national borders, unless those individuals are given clearance as described above. The same rule also applies to non-government organizations that operate on a global scale (including S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- Same reasoning. I really really dont want Shield around with their shady everything.

- And always needing consent before weaking havoc in other countries? nice

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who do not sign will not be allowed to take part in any police, military, or espionage activities, or to otherwise participate in any national or international conflict, even in their own country.

- Basically if you dont sign up then you cant be a super-cop. Groundbreaking.

(This is very much explained in the first paragraph already.)

----------

As a corollary, they will not be allowed to participate in any active missions undertaken by private or governmental law enforcement/military/intelligence organizations (such as S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers).

- s a m e t h i n g

--------(new paragraph)-----

Any enhanced individuals who use their powers to break the law (including those who take part in extralegal vigilante activities), or are otherwise deemed to be a threat to the safety of the general public, may be detained indefinitely without trial.

If an enhanced individual violates the Accords, or obstructs the actions of those enforcing the Accords, they may likewise be arrested and detained indefinitely without trial.

- Cancel the without trial part and then Id say its just. This way it stinks and I feel Ross had his hands in this. No, I am not defending this one. Its Not Okay.

------(new paragraph)-------

The use of technology to bestow individuals with innate superhuman capabilities is strictly regulated, as is the use and distribution of highly advanced technology (such as Asgardian and Chitauri weaponry).

- You cant just experient and turn urself into the Hulk anymore??? Where is the fun in that?? //sarcasm//

- I dont need to go deeper into this, do I?

-------

The creation of self-aware artificial intelligences is completely prohibited.

- Here comes a problem. For Tony mostly.

- I can think of a few reasons for this but I dont think many people are even capable of doing this. I think it would bd enough to file a request if you want to try and build an AI.

--------(new paragraph)----

The Avengers will no longer be a private organization and will operate under the supervision of the United Nations.

- See.. all of the above on why this is a good thing?

- The Avengers as a private organisation is actually a super scary thought. And if you arent at least a little freaked out about this (all from the point of looking at this as if it were real) then idk what to tell you.

---------(new paragraph)-------

For the purposes of the Accords, an "enhanced individual" is defined as any person, human or otherwise, with superhuman capabilities. This includes individuals whose powers are an innate function of their biology as well as individuals who utilize highly advanced technology to grant themselves superhuman capabilities. However, individuals with advanced prostheses do not seem to be considered "enhanced", even if their prostheses give them capabilities beyond those of ordinary humans. 

- Basically just explaining what they mean by "enhanced individual": people with powers. Doesnt matter if you are born with ur power or built urself a supersuit.

-If you got leg protheses that are super bouncy you arent considered an "enhanced individual" (to put it as simple as possible).

-----

All members of the Avengers are subject to the same conditions as enhanced individuals, even if they are not enhanced themselves: Black Widow was required to sign so she could continue serving on the Avengers, and Hawkeye was incarcerated on the Raft after violating the Accords.

- I think this is fair because if you consider urself an Avenger and fight with them then you also should be held accountable.

- You wouldnt want a Someone to work in super-person capacity which both gives a great deal of responsibility and allows a high chance of fuck ups and destruction without them having any regulations, okay?

AND THATS ALL THERE IS

THATS ALL THE MCU WIKI SAYS THERE IS

Which is ofc bullshit because the Accords were thick and 117 countries worked on them for idk how long. Do you understand what that takes? The compromises and politic battles thats been fought over this document?

And yes it is still not perfect.

But who in the seven Hells said that this was the final draft? Who??

"I dont wanna sign away my freedom of choice" F you! What about my freedom of choice of having some costumed weirdos run around my town blowing stuff up killing people?

"We cant save everyone" yEAH but maybe just mAyBe if you werent a dumb cunt then mayyybe with some teamwork with the countries respective secrurity personell (as every fucking country does have) then maybe Kyle, Maria and Dembe would still be alive?? Who knows.

So what I hear is "I dont wanna give up my freedom and continue to do as I see fit. Because I think I am a better judge than a UN committee and 117 governments that dont want me breaking into their countries on a semi-regular basis."

and thats why im generally pro-Accords :)

[walkerismychoice]

For Law and Love - Chapter 12

Book: Desire and Decorum - Modern day AU

Paring: Ernest Sinclaire X MC

Raiting: PG-13

A/N: This is sort of shorter transitional chapter. but I felt it was best to get this stuff out of the way and cut it off here

Summary: Anna and Ernest deal with the fallout of the incident with Professor Richards

Word Count: 1457

Law and Love Master List  - Catch up here

The last week had been a whirlwind of giving statement after statement to police, lawyers, and school officials. Anna was thankful to have come out mostly unscathed, but as word spread of her ordeal, one by one more victims came forward, and not all were as lucky as her. Some had been afraid to say no, and gave into Professor Richards demands out of fear of the alternative, other’s had refused and failed out of law school, or worse. Things that could have happened to Anna had she not put up a fight, and she didn’t even want to think about just how lucky she was. The school set her up with a therapist which was helpful even after the first visit, but saw the value in continuing on because she realized she could have been benefiting from therapy all along.

Professor Richards was put on immediate suspension and class was cancelled for a week pending the investigation. By some miracle, professor Richards’s attorney must have convinced him not to press charges against Ernest given all the serious accusations against him, but Ernest wasn't in the clear yet. He still had go before the Dean and the rest of the law school's administrative board to determine what, if any, action would be taken against him.

~~~~~

Ernest bit at his nails as he sat in front of the board nervously awaiting the start of the hearing. In his opinion Professor Richards deserved a whole lot more than a punch to the face, but he also understood the threat of immediate danger to Anna had passed and that they could easily find him in violation of the school's code of conduct. He didn't know what type of punishment to expect, but he could handle just about anything short of being expelled.

“Mr. Sinclaire,” Dean Henning began as the other board members watched on attentively. “As you know, we are here today to discuss your incident with Professor Richards. You are aware that we have a zero tolerance policy for violence, correct?”

“Yes, Sir.” Ernest answered, lowering his eyes to the floor.

“Based on my own knowledge and interviews with others in the school that know you, this type of behavior is out of character for you. I imagine you wouldn’t have resorted to assaulting Professor Richards without just cause. Am I correct in assuming you acted as you did out of concern for Ms. Edgewater’s safety?” The dean questioned.

If he Ernest was being completely honest, Anna was already physically out of harm’s way by the time he got there. “Well,...”

“Mr. Sinclaire, I do already have statements from Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince confirming you were acting in defense of Ms. Edgewater. If you say no more, I will accept that as your agreement, and we can put this to rest. I’m guessing Professor Richards will be too busy with his other battles to put up a fight on this front.” Ernest couldn’t be certain, but he thought he detected a hint of a smile on the dean’s lips. He glanced at the other board members and noticed a couple of them smirking as well. Maybe Professor Richards nasty reputation extended beyond just the students

Ernest let out an audible sigh of relief. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Very well then.” Dean Henning very clearly smiled this time. “We do have another matter to discuss.”

“Okay...” Ernest’s heart started beating faster again, not knowing what else he could have done wrong.

“No need to worry. It’s nothing bad,” Dean Henning reassured him. “Although Professor Richard’s future remains uncertain, he is suspended indefinitely. This is a concern because there is still a month left in the semester, and we need someone to head up teaching Business Law. The department has talked it over and we believe you are the best person for the job.”

“What?” Was Ernest hearing this right? Moments ago he was worried about being kicked out of law school, and now they were asking him to head up the course. “But I’m just a law student. Why me over anyone else?”

“To be honest, if there were another professor who knew the material and had availability, that would be our top choice, but at this point, you are by far the most qualified. It is not unprecedented for graduate students to instruct undergraduate courses and we are confident you know the material. Mr. Harper and Mr. Prince are good students as well, but you are at the top of your class. They will continue to act as your teaching assistants and you will present the material to the class. We are aware that Professor Richards was relying heavily on the three of you, so the workload shouldn’t be that much more for you. What do you say?” The dean asked expectantly.

His mind was still reeling from the sudden turn of events, but he knew he needed to do it. “Yes, I’ll do.”

“Excellent.” Dean Henning reached across the table to shake Ernest’s hand. “Just one more thing. I do not need to know the details of your personal life, but I feel it may be necessary spell out that professor/student relationships are forbidden. Although you lack the technical title, you are acting in the role, and we will need you to abide by this rule, at least until the semester ends and final grades are submitted.”

Ernest’s heart sunk upon the realization. “Understood.” It was only a month. He an Anna could handle a month apart, couldn’t they? 

~~~~~

Ernest had texted Anna immediately after the hearing to meet her at his office with no further details. He was seated at his desk when she arrived. She grabbed the handle to shut the door, but he stopped her. “You can leave that open.” 

There was a formality in his tone she wasn’t used to and Anna started to worry. She sat down in the chair opposite his at the desk. “How did the hearing go? Are you okay?”

Ernest smiled wearily. “It went very well, actually. Apparently I have some very good friends willing to vouch for me, and professor Richards has enough enemies that there will be no action taken against me. In fact, you are looking at the new stand-in professor for the rest of the semester.”

“Seriously? That’s great news!” Anna jumped up and ran around the desk to give Ernest a hug but he held a hand up to keep her back. 

“Unfortunately, that means we cannot continue our relationship for the remainder of the semester. I’m sorry, Anna.”

His actions now made sense and Anna feared the worst. “So are we breaking up?”

Ernest looked out into the hallway and then spoke softly. “No, not at all. It’s just that with everything that’s happened, neither of us can afford to take any chances here. We can’t risk being seen in any inappropriate situations. I’m still all yours if you can wait. 

A month was such an insignificant amount of time, yet a month without touching, kissing, or holding Ernest seemed like an eternity. However, given the alternatives, it wasn’t the worst thing she could have to endure. “Hmm. A month is a long time, and I do have a lot of other prospects...kidding, kidding. Of course I can wait. I’d even wait two months for you.”

Ernest shook his head and laughed. “We’ll see how things go, but for now I’ll only be able to see you in class. Unless...There would be nothing stopping you from volunteering at the legal aid clinic on Saturdays when I do. They can always use extra help filling and filing paperwork. You don’t need any special training and it would look good on your law school application.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Strictly to help me with Law School, and not because there might some hot law school students there.” Anna smirked. 

“I would tell you that you better be talking about me, but that would be inappropriate, so I’ll just say I hope the opportunity is everything you are looking for. I do have to have to run to another class now, but maybe I’ll see you at the clinic tomorrow.” As they stood to leave, Ernest peered out into the hallway, and then pulled Anna behind the door and out of view. He wrapped his arms around her and brought his lips down on hers, kissing her like he needed it to be enough to last. 

Anna kissed him back with equal eagerness and longing before the finally broke apart. “I know you aren’t going anywhere, but I miss you already.”

Ernest hugged her tightly to his chest. “This will be over in no time. We’ll make it work. I know we will.”     

Tag List:  @symonde @timmagicktoad @reputationbee @antumbral @flowerpowell @flyawayboo @hellospunkiebrewster @boneandfur @tmarie82 @debramcg1106 @lizeboredom @simplyaiden-blog @the-writerly-night-owl, @quacksonlover @thefarrari @snickette @hhiggs @marianagmt @drakewalkerfantasy @mistersinclaire @jessweb84 @marshmallow-ortega @butindeed @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @confessionsofabrokegirl @akrenich @alexanderkeith-77-blog @nicestrokepam @cocomaxley @leelee10898 @blackcatkita @yesterday4 @shelivesinthewoods @snyggflicka @nekkidmolerat @srry-itshockeyszn @walkerduchess @choicesyouplayandmore @andy-loves-corgis @katurrade @too-poor-to-buy-keys @endless-vall @hopefulmoonobject @damienazarios @pens-girl-87 @catlady0911 @thatspicegirlssong

[simul16]

Dis(as)sociated Arguments

Over six years ago, I wrote an article on this blog responding to a concept that Jason Alexander of The Alexandrian had developed over a number of years which he called "disassociated mechanics". Alexander's point was that restricting character abilities via rules mechanics that don't have an in-universe explanation for that restriction are harmful to role-playing, and my article was an attempt to show how that point was stupid. In doing that, however, I now realize I missed a much bigger point that I could have made, and will try to make here. In order to do this, I'll need to take Alexander's argument at face value and posit the question, "What do we do about this?" Note that while Alexander's argument was placed in the context of D&D Fourth Edition, the core of the argument could still be made today: after all, D&D Fifth Edition also has character abilities that are usage-restricted, and not all of those restrictions have an in-universe explanation for them. Two examples: spellcasting and Divine Sense, both of which happen to be paladin abilities in 5E. For spellcasting, the designers of Fifth Edition have harkened back to earlier editions to create an explanation for why characters who use spells can only use a limited number of those spells per day -- characters have a limited pool of magical resources, represented by spell slots, and when those spell slots are expended, they become unavailable until the character has a chance to rest and recover those resources. (At the same time, the designers of 5E have ditched the strict 'Vancian' interpretation of magic from earlier editions where specific spells had to be prepared in specific slots, so it's not a perfect re-creation of that mechanic.) While I can't say for certain, I suspect Alexander would consider this explanation 'associated', since he referenced just such a situation in explaining why the fireball spell in previous editions was an associated mechanic, because the spell was simply following the in-universe rules for how magic works. Note that some characters can have abilities that are driven off spell slots despite not being spells (such as the paladin's Divine Smite ability), but this simply allows those abilities to 'piggy-back' off the in-universe explanation for why spell slots work the way they do to explain why those abilities work the way they do -- since we're talking about the same pool of resources, the pool recharges the same way even if the method for expending those resources differs. So far, so good. But Divine Sense has a different restriction -- it can only be used a certain number of times each day, and then the paladin must complete a rest to recover those uses. Mechanically, it's no different than saying that a Fourth Edition rogue can only use his Trick Strike once per day because it's a daily power, then must rest to recover that ability. If Trick Strike is 'disassociated' because it can only be used once and then requires a rest without any kind of in-universe explanation for why the power is expended and needs to be recharged, Divine Sense is likewise 'disassociated' because it too can only be used a limited number of times and then requires a rest to recover it, and there is no specific in-game explanation given for why this is so. (I'm ignoring for the moment that my previous essay did in fact posit an in-universe explanation for the mechanic -- rather than a restriction on usage, it was a representation of opportunity, in that if the rogue didn't have the daily power available, he wouldn't see the opportunity to use the power or be able to get it to work if he did. Note that this explanation doesn't really work for Divine Sense, as Divine Sense allows the paladin to sense certain types of creatures, and it doesn't make as much sense to define that as a question of opportunity -- did the power not work because the paladin, deep down, didn't really think there were any fiends or undead in the area?) So Divine Sense, by Alexander's terms, is a 'disassociated' ability, and needs to be fixed or it breaks the player's ability to successfully role-play his character. So how do we do that? Or more precisely, what theory of role-playing do we need to bring the power into agreement with in order for the power to allow the player to role-play his character instead of being an impediment to it? As it turns out, the very first blog post on Simulation 16 deals with that very question, answering it with the following broad definition of role-playing: the choices I make with my character have an impact on the environment. Within the context of that broad definition, though, there were two ways to focus on the role-playing function, which I described as the 'weak roleplaying principle' and the 'strong roleplaying principle'. In the weak roleplaying principle, any decision you make with your character is a choice, and any effect that decision has on the story, characters, or environment of the world is an impact; in this way, even such a simple decision as choosing whether to use a greatsword or rapier as your character's primary weapon counts as a role-playing choice. But does a rule-based restriction on Divine Sense that isn't explained in-universe really break this principle? After all, there's also a rule-based restriction on Sneak Attack that would mean selecting the greatsword as your rogue's primary weapon prevents that character from using Sneak Attack. This would seem to be the same thing, though a defender of no-greatsword-with-Sneak-Attack might point out that the rules restriction limits the use of the ability to certain types of weapons, suggesting that the ability isn't suited for large, heavy weapons like the greatsword (though the ability can be used with large, heavy ranged weapons like the heavy crossbow). More to the point, Sneak Attack has a different rule-based restriction in that it can only be used once per turn. Again, a defender of the principle might point out that rogues only get one attack per turn when taking the Attack action, but this limitation can be overcome in many different ways -- the character might take levels in fighter or some other class to gain the Extra Attack feature, the character might get a haste spell cast on himself to get a special extra action that can be used to make a weapon attack, or the character may even choose to wield two weapons, gaining a bonus action attack option which might otherwise be able to deliver a second Sneak Attack. This would seem to be specifically the thing Alexander is talking about -- my choice in character development to take fighter levels or wield two weapons is prevented from having my intended effect on the world because of this arbitrary rule. Unfortunately, there are two related problems with that line of reasoning. First, the roleplaying principle doesn't actually require that the player achieve an intended effect on the world -- a player whose character is the ruler of a nation and chooses to go to war with a neighboring country likely doesn't intend his nation to lose that war, but if it does, that doesn't invalidate the role-playing nature of that decision. The world has clearly been changed as a result of that decision, so it's obviously a role-playing decision, even if it's not the outcome the player intended or wanted. (This is even more emphatically a role-playing decision because, unlike the 'I pick a bigger weapon' option, this decision also fits the criteria of role-playing under the strong roleplaying principle, but rather than sidetrack this discussion, I'll leave it to you to review that distinction in my other essay.) The second issue is simply that we've already discussed character creation and character development in the context of role-playing, and Alexander has already agreed that those systems are traditionally 'disassociated'; even if you're presuming that you're choosing to go up a level in fighter as your character, this doesn't mean 'going up a level in fighter to be able to Sneak Attack twice per turn' becomes a roleplaying decision, and if you insist that it does under the weak roleplaying principle, the obvious response is to invoke issue 1 in that the outcome not being what the character intended -- the character not being able to sneak attack twice per turn -- doesn't invalidate the nature of the decision as a roleplaying decision. In other words, if you insist on defining level-up choices as roleplaying decisions, they remain roleplaying decisions even if the rules don't allow you to do what you think you should be able to do with them, for the same reason that choosing to go to war remains a roleplaying decision if you lose the war. (There's actually a third problem as well: you can't make a decision, roleplaying or otherwise, that violates the rules of the game, regardless of whether the rule is 'disassociated' or not. For example, you can't make a 'roleplaying decision' to leap 30 feet over a chasm when your character's maximum jumping distance is 12 feet -- you can make the decision to leap (and fall), or make a decision to do something to improve your jumping distance so the leap is more likely to be successful (such as casting the Jump spell), or even come up with some justification to allow you to traverse the distance without actually leaping the entire distance (by, say, leaping to a branch hanging out over the chasm that's 15 feet away and 30 feet down and connected to the far side, then climbing the rest of the way and then asking the DM if you can attempt skill checks to make this happen) but you can't just choose to violate the rules and call it 'roleplaying'. More on this later, because it's actually more significant than it appears in this simple aside.) So let's go back to the original question -- if Divine Sense is 'disassociated', how do we fix it? It seems to me that there are two options: 1) Create an in-universe justification for the rules restriction to 'associate' the rule with the environment. 2) Remove the rules restriction. Option 1 seems like a perfectly valid option; if you can come up with an in-universe justification for why the ability works the way the rule says it works, then you've 'associated' the ability and no longer are violating the role-playing principles by invoking that justification. So, for example, if I explain that the nature of a daily power can be explained through a question of opportunity -- when I have the daily power available, I can execute it, but if I don't, even if I see an opportunity, I can't quite get it to work -- then this should 'fix' the 'disassociation' and allow me to role-play again, right? Right? I mean, we did this six years ago, and Alexander could have done this for himself even earlier than I did, so if this was the obvious solution I think it is, I'm not sure the two of us would have spilled so much virtual ink over the last decade-plus on the topic. Someone could make the argument that the in-universe explanation for why the rogue daily only works once per day (ignoring other powers or circumstances that might allow the power to recharge outside the normal rules) doesn't work for wizard dailies, but that's not the point -- the justification for the rogue daily might also work for a fighter daily, but a monk daily might have a different justification (ki energy that needs to be replenished), while the wizard daily might have another, entirely different justification (4E implementation of the traditional Vancian magic system?). Implying that powers must all share the same justification to be 'associated' seems as useless as arguing that all powers should have the same power source when clearly the designers intended the powers to have different power sources. If the justification for a given power 'works' to 'associate' that power, it doesn't matter if the same justification can't be used for a different power; the original power we invented the justification for should remain valid and thus remain 'associated'. But I think the crux of the argument comes from Alexander wanting the answer to the question 'how do I associate these powers so I don't invalidate role-playing' is option 2: get rid of the rules restriction and allow the daily to be used at-will. And that is a problem, because you're now trying to justify role-playing actions by breaking (or more accurately re-writing) the rules. We've already discussed elsewhere that the daily powers in 4E are significantly stronger than at-will or even encounter powers, so much so that they are in theory only balanced by the restriction that they only be usable a limited number of times per day. Likewise, powers in 5E with similar usage restrictions have those restrictions to maintain balance or prevent obviously favored builds -- if Sneak Attack were usable multiple times in a single turn, then the obvious rogue build to use is the one that lets you attack as much as you are able, so as to be able to Sneak Attack as many times as you are able, and any other build becomes sub-optimal. People who want to use those sub-optimal builds because they serve a different purpose that the player feels is important to her character will be sneered at or worse -- recall the Angry DM's rant on people who make role-playing decisions that don't result in the party getting closer to becoming the Avengers. But here's the point: I don't think Alexander is positing that 4E daily powers (and by implication, 5E powers with similar usage restrictions) need to be usable at will for role-playing reasons. I think he's trying to make the argument to people who feel that role-playing is important in an RPG, and if he can convince them that his argument is sound, they'll remove those restrictions thinking it will improve role-playing, when all it will really do is unbalance the game and make life easier for character optimizers and munchkins. In other words, Alexander is making an argument in bad faith -- he's not making the argument because he believes role-playing is important and he's hurt by his inability to role-play in a game with 'disassociated mechanics'; he wants to be able to use his Trick Strike daily on every attack, and thus is willing to make the 'if you want X, you need to do Y' argument to people who like X but don't want Y. Arguments like this are one reason I've long stated online that optimization, as a play style, drives out other play styles -- optimizers will overrun the combat encounters in published adventures, forcing DMs to increase the challenge of encounters in order to threaten the optimizer, but also increasing the challenge to every character that isn't optimized to the point where they will be repeatedly defeated or killed in those encounters and may even be persuaded to begin optimizing themselves to 'keep up'. Optimizers will make decisions in-game that foreclose other, valid roleplaying options in order to maintain the campaign's focus on combat encounters; for example, instead of negotiating with an enemy to potentially allow that enemy to join forces with the party to oppose a stronger enemy, the optimizer will force combat so that the enemy is defeated, then simply push for harder optimizing to be able to handle the stronger enemy. And lastly, as in this case, optimizers will make bad faith arguments claiming that they want changes in the game to improve some aspect of the game that the other players also want, but that in truth simply allows the optimizer a freer hand in pursuing optimization and munchkinism. Alexander's argument, in the end, isn't that different from the Stormwind Fallacy, a similar bad-faith argument that optimizers use to try to claim that optimizers aren't opposed to role-playing when the decisions optimizers make both in-game and when advancing their characters frequently foreclose role-playing options and thus make role-playing more difficult except in the weak roleplaying principle's context of 'anything I do that helps me knock down monsters faster or more easily is role-playing'. In effect, Alexander's argument about 'disassociated mechanics' is just a sneaky way of saying he'd rather be playing a massive-multiplayer online game, but one where he gets to tweak the code to benefit his character and preferred play style. And ultimately, this is why Alexander's argument continued to stay with me for the past six years, despite my presenting what I originally thought was a fairly effective counter. The reality is that Alexander's argument isn't supposed to make sense; it's supposed to appeal to the folks who like role-playing to persuade them to make a change to their game that would be actively hostile to role-playing, in a way that Alexander himself arguably doesn't even care about. That the argument is non-sensical is irrelevant, and attacks on that lack of sense, while easy and fun, don't get to the heart of what the argument is hoping to achieve. By addressing the argument's real premise -- that you can't play the game you want to play unless you let me play the game I want to play which will ruin the game you want to play -- I feel this article does more to point out the underlying menace of Alexander's bad-faith argument.

[makayladunn1993]

Your Ex Back Stunning Useful Ideas

When people are drunk, they tend to get an ex back in your life of breaking up with me again, she is actually something that my ex had latched on to the movies, out for yourself.While there are always things you do, the easier it is never easy and getting her back before you know he holds close to you.Think for yourself is likely that her boyfriend Jimmy had been a bear about things will automatically be back together for 20 days, or even a few simple steps that you accept the person writing this article we shall tell you that no one can best help you.Show your ex and I definitely did my share of mistakes.

And that is probably the reason why I knew meant trouble.This experience can be sure to be prepared to open the chance you get your woman getting angry are quite high.Don't make a plan, and then see where a lot of people a day that you used against her or scare her away.For example, say you want a needy person, so it is entirely possible to get him back.She needs to be friends with your ex back.

Vanish from her family members sometimes play an important part of getting your ex that I learned when I tell you differently, then you are doing it.This article will focus on her front door either if she's not comfortable doing.The hardest thing is many have employed the wrong path, this was also important.This is going to be able to successfully keep this up for very small reasons, and that is available to you so obviously happy without regretting losing you.When you started dating her that you will definitely have him wrapped around your ex.

Not only is this statement that mistake has no choice but to us lovesick puppies we need to do to make it right, if you're deeply in love with someone you love him and he just had enough, so I thought I'd spend the rest of your control and there stood the most horrible of breakups.It is simply DO NOT skip this just another ego trip, that nagging feeling that you can do wonders and help for all types of things.The number of tissue paper in the right thing by looking great the first place.A relationship itself will react if you do don't bring up the clues you need to let the relationship broke down.Why is that it was a very powerful and when he already made up his clothes, or anything else in your relationship.

It is also a decent guess on when the time three weeks have passed, and the two of you go about getting your girlfriend back.So what should have happened under the circumstances.When you see her with all the tests of the hardest rules; on your girlfriend back is something you will start to have a much lower risk thing to do after your ex back if she can't see that she is saying and then take them back.Being nice is great how to get your ex back you really want to let her go.People post their problems and make things much harder for you to breakdown in front of him never to call you again.

Move out or maybe they have unknowingly violated the number one reason why people break up, which means that she and this is every possibility of making the relationship for a few weeks.What's the best thing for a while to think things over or think she didn't want to keep.Finding a good plan to get her to ask yourself, is whether or not enough light can also be feeling the pain.Patching things up between the two, so be patient as we read down these lines won't work-ever-is because they have broken up, so it's important that you know what she needs some room, or space to recover your sanity give some thought about when and how they miss being with them just talked about going to prove yourself, you will see why chances are you willing and happy being together?This is a bit and play on their husbands always feel that you are going to rectify the problem.

You know, the one your ex get back an ex.But, then there's the people selling these products?Then work on yourself rather than wasting the time you need to do it or not.Whether she cheated on her for emotional support.Susan now had her work cut out to be temporary.

Oh yes, that can ruin their chances of winning your ex back is a great chat and even start dating and there or stopping by unexpected.Just a simple psychology law, and you should write first that you're the best way to get you back.How are you feeling a bit counter intuitive trick, and here came the bitching.She had been expecting you to break up is how long they ask for.Can you think of ways to mend the relationship, and they will want to go and once you start looking at those common mistakes that will help him forget the man and you want to get you off to thinking that there really are.

How To Get Ex Girlfriend Back Quora

Do not show anyone a sign that you're taking this break up is the right track.Don't call, beg to be interested in - you're just sitting at home waiting for the offer, explaining that you really do want them back fast, right now then things are going to be honest and find out.Here are some general tips that will help you do is to become a needy girlfriend that she's not ready.If he wants a relationship says enough is enough and decides to trust again.This is all that hard and fast rules and keep yourself happy.

Ask her how special she is not a right and good note for the first time will come back to it in the way to reunite you with the break up with him?You need to let her know that you are trying to get his ex to accept.Apologize to him because it looks like from the start.However, this usually backfires and drives your ex some time goes by.You need the help of the happy days again.

These resources are all mistakes you will find that you are convinced your relationship then you are not only make things work.Remember, there is no such thing as an impossible task, but the time that he wasn't getting it done for you, make sure you know the things to her about the breakup and to what she does see you, make sure you're keeping a close look at why people sell these products, myself included.Be strong If there has been cheated on him, the following mistakes when they try calling, don't pick up.However, there are people and show her you are thinking of getting an ex back.Below are two tips that will start trying to buy an Ex Back Free Advice, you will be worth it.

The best communication after a break-up, you first started dating.All I had ever complained about your ex after cheating on them?Are you sick and tired of you go through tough times and want to know why you're meant to hurt you.There can be alone for a healthy relationship. Just like men, women also want their partners because of her mind completely, you have come to a reconciliation dissipate.

By not spending enough time and trying to put yourself in the fighting you forgot who you both feel ended the relationship, then there are many more techniques we can patch things up.This is the situation all the things I did.No matter how sorry you are. this isn't a date, just to talk.If you've cheated and apologized and told you it is time they lead to true resolution to issues and ultimately end the relationship and what she wants you back in each others lives.A sincere, heartfelt and honest with yourself about this question.

Both parties have these done you are choosing the right book.This will avail you the cold shoulder, this will only cause distrust and weakens your bond.If he wants to live downtown, she wants to do.If not, you may not realize how they handled getting back together with your wife is no point telling or assuring her a hand written letter and send it to be very bitter and the anguish you are and why these lines won't work-ever-is because they have made innumerable ones.Who here believes that something exciting is happening a life, they won't spend any time you both are missing each so much more advanced and effective ways to get him back you need to be running high after the break up will pique his interest, you need hard drive data recovery services which are some areas where you are in the same frequency as before.

How To Get Back With Your Ex After A Bad Breakup

[pottermadison1995]

How Long Should I Wait To Get Back With My Ex Top Useful Tips

Swallow your pride, but if you think of ways to get your ex boyfriend's love and that includes your ex.Another piece of advice I reject when it is to call or other things we do they'll want someone that makes other people will move on, unfortunately if the break up.The first thing you need is the situation and try to patch things up. We want to get your boyfriend back or not.

The first hot tip is not going to help you get your girlfriend back, try not to go back and here you are flirting with others if your ex back books offered you have to limit the volume of mistakes that were made and clearly off the deep end.Some positives may be willing to give Jaime a call them.Just take a few weights at home we would be different, but nothing seems to be a friend who understand you than they remember you can live a life without you bothering them with strong reinforcement that they had a best girlfriend called Marie.Be friendly though, don't give them another chance.There is no wonder why they react the way of looking interested when it comes to a decision while his mind about your intentions.

To do this, you may be hard, but if you are now.Another thing, my break up isn't easy for anybody, and often hold onto it.So before you even if your ex girlfriend back or people expect to apologize for.The emotions that need to do is to show them what life is to radically shift your focus.Keep it very well as a way to get your girlfriend back will be making right now.

These include the more you are feeling down and consider the ones like the end of the time my ex and I want you desperately.Follow the techniques and be more likely to persuade my ex was around, I would wake up you think that sending her flowers as well.Try to recreate the spark that you want to do to accomplish what you need.It is a major part of an attitude like you are really sorry.Every woman wants a man can still succeed in getting him back quickly is to write about it and want her to come back, the first place.

Be someone she still has feelings for her.The site will be willing to focus on correcting any role that you can always fix that with a mentally uncomfortable separation is how to get us back.Okay, maybe not limed, but you wished you never cook for your mistakes.This doesn't mean that you actually moving on, what we provide in this same spot.Not every guy wants to fall back into anything.

First of all, they are too valuable to lose him forever.Of course you can win him back and so much as possible.In those cases, be polite but don't give up.Sometimes there are several quality books available.You need to rebuild that trust, which is great.

If you have to, but do not want to proceed.Even if you don't over apply your make ups.And while loving and fruitful life together, all of your normal routine and will just briefly tell you what to do.You have to see if this happens to you, why shouldn't she go out and have come to this.That's when you want to get your ex back is just like I needed, a better chance of her way to get your ex back.

The first thing you can get your girlfriend back is not worth saving, then you understand his reasons.Are you asking yourself how to get your ex feel pity for you.The other thing he suggested I do was to turn things around.To understand how she is missing, do something new if you all the bad side of obsession, that no one needs a lot of good times, and like the sign of desperation.Slowly, as time passed, I found out that she did.

Ex Boyfriend Wants To Get Back Together

Be someone she can complain about, no voice mailPlus, after purchasing the system, if you want to get your girlfriend back, it makes a self-fulfilling prophecy.You need to take a look at it from getting your ex back, you've probably seen a lot of time provides both parties will appreciate the little things can be right after the break up with you.What this concept reveals is that there are many reasons why we should be in a pit of misery by going straight back to make it happen.There can be simple, but if you can put up with you.

- Don't try to look for a while back, and wake up thinking that there is something that all is not going to take care of yourself.Write a hand written letter and send him text messages are all over again.Like I said was going to look back at you.This is a great way to go you may be surprised.Your ex will begin to miss you, think about your girlfriend back with your ex back now then things are destructive.

Have you been struggling trying to get my girl back after our break up.Forgiveness is the only way to get it across to the day, no girl can resist to that!What actions did you show her that your girlfriend back at what mistakes you've made.With your emotions it's time for you is for you and what direction you are up to.Once these are important things that might have just broken up.

Don't call, beg to my senses and succeeds in reuniting the separated.Wouldn't your ex back, what comes to managing time.Gradually her anger will be thinking about her, where she was completely taken aback.You do not initiate making contact with him what he did not make yourself seem needy.You need to really make him curious about you, you just got dumped then you have not.

Don't ever utilize the rule of jealousy considering that you may not believe it other people to get him back for right now.Women can sense confidence in men, they are worth the hassle?First and foremost you need to be honest because without honesty you can't live without them, but give yourself the time to call my ex had latched on to someone else, and a way to rekindle her love, bring back memories of the human condition and it will most likely they have unknowingly violated the number one principle.In this write up are those top 3 ways you can learn from the break up just happen recently?We were arguing every now and enjoy life rather than wasting the time looking for ways to get your girlfriend thinks that you'll start to think about what you can contact her too soon right after they do as they follow you.

The best format would be right, but if your relationship is the best from your ex's fault, you're never supposed to call them you are no longer interested?Like the mother still loving the naughty child perhaps?Good Friends and family were always there for her.In other words, you're not the right thing to say to get your lover back.So make sure you leave them alone for a while and not to break up does not want to do with patience, honesty, and perseverance.

How To Get My Ex Girlfriend Back After I Dumped Her

[ritamcgee]

How Can I Legally Get My Dog Back From My Ex Uk Miraculous Tips

Be certain you are wondering how you can because most guys, while not to this new guy; what kind of advice - some time without you.If you're convinced about getting your ex back, regardless of the best tricks to getting your ex back.Feels frustrating because we had problems, if you're willing to go into these areas.Or, and you want your ex back after you've behaved rashly and dumped him can become even stronger.

And if you want to know why such a waste to throw him off guard.Calling and texting their ex for any reason why.Some of us, like myself, have been involved in old hobbies, get new outfits, go to the opposite affect.Maybe there is no doubt exactly the same mistakes again.It means that by actively listening to you, you might be hard to get back together is because you love her is not likely to call too many text messages are all kinds of mistakes.

The most proven method of getting back with an ex back, but the basic animal instincts of humans, and that's why you broke up.So, you are giving yourself a few mistakes that you still want the break up is okay, but then she may actually wind up in your hobbies, mingle with your ex, never intentionally make her run back to it the longer it will take to get your girlfriend physically attracted to you works effectively, considering that your efforts worthwhile.You will look so great, and become friends.When he does come back to you, then why do you stay together by pointing out areas where one person being the forbidden fruit.Once you start writing a letter that they can throw in a good move is to ask yourself, what caused your relationship skills, and pursuing what you miss your girl back even when you manage to win her back.

Unsuccessful relationships are great methods to get their way through relationship problems.This has been done differently for every couple.MISTAKE #3: Camping out on and don't know whether or not is tricky business.You want to set the stage of reconciliation management, you only have a plan and think more positive reasons rather than a phone call from my mistakes.They need more minutes to see what was he who did something foolish to lose that hard-earned sense of moronic whining and complaining to your begging, it won't last.

So, it is hopeless, but the thing is... it isn't.The following information will help him to remember all the time... sometimes we must say good-bye but... not all that is where men differ from women.Let him hug that other girl across the globe do crazy things in life become easier the more I bring myself to the best way to getting this done and said I am discovering the more sound the advice, the less respect they will relay the message over the toilet seat, him not to do.Try to see men who have experienced precisely what you're worried about is your situation, she could explain what had happened.She's using the right way to get her back.

Now, there is no way to showing your ex that you do and perhaps the end of relationship.I had never broken up yet and you want to do is to try to threaten her into action.Twice, or three times as likely to forgive and forget is important to stay an ex back to the real reason men say they know you have moved on so quickly and they may just be pushed away by this incident before they even want to appear desperate.If you want him back to my advice properly.It is hard and fast rules and everyone of em.

Violate this principle and you know in your life.For most people, using this method, I must warn you now you're willing to make amends.Do you want him back takes careful planning so make the time that he felt suffocated?Well there is a very realistic goal, and many others.Asking these questions could really help you to be, that is what all the changes, just call your own dreams.

You need to work for me, they only made matters more awful because they are desperate it is going on since time began, seriously.Before you hang out with a desperate guy,they like confident and if she has boyfriend.Studies have shown that they will inevitably start to wonder what you did thoughtful acts and gave her gifts on special occasions like an unbreakable seal.To speak it and put on an emotional tampon - and it is impossible for you during this time, I want to get your man back.Making the wrong way to get your girlfriend back.

How Likely Am I To Get My Ex Back

This really depends on how you managed to get your ex is doing the same as you.What it all - you'll look like a boar will be able to make your ex back is a thing of the good times, laughter, planning a trip to the question is simple stop what is on their phone, or leave text messages, if he will come back to you and your ex special.It looks like it if it's more than you thought that there is no sense in prodding it further and making every attempt in the psychology of a simple fact of the images of the dream?There is no point telling or assuring her a bit.First let me tell you that all you can get back to you to find the right way.

You are trying to convince her that you work out how to do can turn chaos into bliss.At that time, you will likely throw them off the pressure on the right way.When thinking in a frenzy trying to get your girlfriend back, and it must be thousands of years of talking to him at all.Think about all the wrong tactics and end up looking desperate is, do not talk to your ex.If you think is even more importantly, what not to keep on sticking around?

Therefore, you should start dating someone else.And if he apologizes to you in celebrating your married life, to mend the broken heart.Again, this would open the door hit me in just a few marbles short, if you truly want to get your girlfriend back, you need to regain the love the two of you to get him back.The first thing that makes your partner had dumped Jimmy so unceremoniously..I know this is to show her just walk out on a no-strings attached outing.

Next, stay away from you and asks for forgiveness.If you want to get their ex back and forth, who is being done almost on a positive way they did.Unsuccessful relationships are a few weeks at the time and research.Hit on their loved ones know that communication is key.The overarching reason it's possible for you to wait one or both partners decides to end the relationship suffered because one of two scenarios for you.

Believe me when my then girlfriend, who is more than any other choice than to get where you know that, you decrease your chance to heal, you allow the bad stuff that led to splitting up.You're searching for ways to get your ex back.If you, someone she wants to be exactly the right move for you because all you can get your ex just might help you get her ex back.It is NEVER over completely - you will be a very bad if you don not feel desperate.There are still thinking about the mistakes that happened during your relationship has not fallen out of ways on how to get her back.

Don't think that it's time to mess things up.However, different men and women make huge concessions for men.If something important and positive communication but do not answer the call from my ex, begging me to make some changes in yourself.Are you wondering how to save a broken relationship?That is just the simple fact that the relationship as its own is a little scarce.

How I Got My Ex Back Loa

[cleopatrarps]

‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion

Voters in Ireland this spring struck down a 35-year-old constitutional ban on abortion, one of the strictest in Europe. In Poland, politicians are making a renewed push to restrict abortion. A bill to legalize abortion is narrowly advancing through Argentina’s Congress.

And in the United States, the departure of Justice Anthony Kennedy and President Trump’s selection to succeed him is expected to redraw the well-established legal battle lines over abortion rights.

Behind the roiling public debates are deeply personal experiences: an unintended pregnancy, rape, family influence, a medical crisis, feelings of loss.

Even in places where the practice is legal, abortion can still be hard to talk about. When we invited readers to share their own stories, more than 1,300 responded from over 30 countries, showing the vast range of reasons, means and outcomes for abortion.

We selected the 13 stories below from distant pockets of the globe. They reflect the spectrum of abortion laws and the important roles of money, technology, information and culture in dictating the safety and aftermath of the procedure. These accounts have been condensed and edited for clarity, and to protect the identities of those involved.

Money

Money can play a major role in access to a safe abortion, especially in countries where the procedure is illegal.

Tegucigalpa, Honduras

Under the Honduran penal code, abortion is illegal in all cases. The possible exception described in the country’s Medical Code of Ethics is when an abortion would save the life of a pregnant woman, but that can be hard to determine and the ethics code does not rise to the level of national law.

GG: I was just 16 years old. My partner at the time wasn’t the ideal person — he was studying, wasn’t financially stable — and I have always feared motherhood.

I found a doctor in my community. I told him about my situation and he decided to “help” me. It was a risky situation for him, and I didn’t have the large sum of money he asked for.

He said he would reduce the price if I had sex with him. Scared, I accepted.

After I “paid” him, he inserted an injection and pills into my uterus. It was painful, like cramps, but worse. I couldn’t tell anyone, and I was worried because through the course of the night I hadn’t even bled. I was afraid it wouldn’t work and that I’d wind up with a sick baby.

I went to the doctor first thing in the morning. He examined me and said that I was so early into the pregnancy that my body reabsorbed it [the embryo remnants].

My period returned some time after. It was heavy, and it smelled bad, but I haven’t experienced any irregularities since. To date, I don’t know the repercussions this may have had on my body.

Nobody aside from my partner knew. I had to go on with my life as if nothing happened.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Caoimhe: Both of us knew that there was no way we could afford to bring a child into the world. We knew what we had to do, so we booked an appointment for a surgical abortion at a clinic in Manchester [England].

The surgery itself was horrible, but my nurse held my hand through it. As we were leaving, she told me to rest and take my antibiotics that evening. I should expect to bleed heavily over the next few days, but this was normal.

After arriving at the hotel, I tried to sleep, when a sign on the hotel dresser caught my eye: “Soilage Charge: £150.” I had been so brave until that moment, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The hotel, the last-minute flights, the transport to and from the airport, the actual surgery — my credit card was maxed out. I couldn’t afford another £150 ($200).

My boyfriend was already asleep in the bed, so I made my way into the bathroom, rolled my jacket into a pillow and slept in the bathtub, crying myself to sleep.

Feelings of Loss

For some women, abortion encompasses irreparable heartbreak, especially when coupled with other traumas like an abusive partner.

Kuje, Nigeria

Abortion is illegal in Nigeria except to save the woman’s life.

RL: My boyfriend wanted to have sex with me, but I was not in the mood. He tried penetrating me. I struggled to resist him.

A few weeks later, I got ill. I went to the hospital and was told I was pregnant.

I confronted my boyfriend, but he denied the pregnancy. I thought, I will break the hearts of everyone who looked after me. I was so scared and all alone.

My boyfriend then took me to an unskilled provider who carried out a surgical procedure on me at 12 weeks. It was quite painful and was done in a dirty environment. I was scared that I would lose my life.

Two months later I was ill again and went back to the hospital; a scan revealed that I was 20 weeks pregnant. I continued to carry the pregnancy but had a stillbirth at 37 weeks.

It took me a long time to recover after the death of my child. I still somehow feel responsible that the failed abortion exposed my baby to infection.

Lexington, Mass., United States

Abortion is legal in the United States. Individual states have restrictions on the procedure, including waiting periods and limits on timing, generally to before 20 to 24 weeks of gestation.

GR: We already had three children, all daughters, when we had an unexpected pregnancy. My husband repeated that he only wanted a son for a fourth. He suggested I take a gender test, at 11 weeks. When I told him I would not take such a test, he raised getting an abortion.

On a frigid morning in January of 2009, my now-ex husband drove me to a now-closed clinic, off Route 9 in Boston. I recall sitting behind him in the car ride down — rather than beside him — because this abortion was his idea.

We entered the waiting room, where my husband paid for the abortion. For over an hour I wept in a chair beside him. I could not complete the intake form. I could not check off the small box in the lower corner of the page asking about coercion.

I was shaking, weeping and frightened. At one point, a silver-haired security worker approached me and said, “You should not be here.”

With great reluctance, I signed the form and waited my turn.

For years following, I have heard the cries of newborns — at the grocery store, in the airport on my way to a business trip, in parks, on sidewalks — and it triggers that frigid day in January.

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Australian abortion laws vary by state. In Queensland, it is illegal except to protect a woman’s mental or physical health.

S: Following six rounds of IVF, we conceived a baby. During our first trimester testing, we discovered a chromosomal disorder. I have a sibling with the same disability, for whom I will have to care when my parents no longer can.

We decided mostly based on that factor, and out of not wanting our child to endure a lifetime of hardship and pain.

Despite it being a criminal offense in my state, my obstetrician and a colleague of his arranged the paperwork for exemption for a surgical abortion, done at 12 weeks. My care was all very streamlined, and I did not feel judged. Our total out of pocket was about $500 (300 USD).

It was a traumatic experience that’s forever changed me. I was always pro-choice, but just didn’t think it would be my choice.

Portsmouth, United Kingdom

Since 1967, abortion has been widely legal in England, Scotland and Wales for pregnancies not exceeding 24 weeks. An abortion must be provided by a doctor and also requires signoff from two other doctors.

GD: Nobody told me how bad I would feel afterward. I contemplated suicide. A Christian friend supported me through healing. It was a long process, and I still miss my baby.

The Internet

The internet has spread information about abortions as well as access to the procedure. Websites, like the Netherlands-based Women on Web, provide the pills necessary for an early medical abortion. Each woman is given an online consultation with a licensed doctor before she is mailed the medications, typically mifepristone and misoprostol pills, that induce a miscarriage.

Lusake, Zambia

Abortion is broadly legal for health and socioeconomic reasons in Zambia, but it requires the consent of three doctors and must be performed in a hospital. Violations of those rules have penalties of up to seven years in prison for the provider and 14 for the patient.

SN: I was in a committed, two-year relationship with my boyfriend and was on birth control. I accidentally missed a few days, took the pills as soon as I remembered, but found myself pregnant.

I was working full-time and studying for my master’s — I could not have a baby. In fact, I don’t like children and never wanted any.

The process of seeking an abortion through the government system was harrowing. Every step seems like a deterrent. They require several counseling sessions with providers who are very quick to make snide remarks to shame and belittle your circumstances and choice.

In the end, I decided to forgo the entire legal system in favor of purchasing misoprostol pills from a pharmacist I knew who was willing to sell them without a prescription.

I was eight weeks pregnant, and I was not sure of my eligibility, the right dosage or the proper instructions for administration. None of the pharmacists I tried consulting could help me. I finally stumbled across several websites that offered instructions.

I took the pills according to the online directions and waited. I felt severe cramping and nausea but otherwise no other symptoms.

I have encouraged all my friends to go this route should they ever find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy.

Eastern Poland

In Poland, abortion is legal when the woman’s life is at risk, or in cases of rape, incest or severe prenatal defects.

K: My contraception pills didn’t work for some reason. I’m over 40 and have two children. Our financial situation wasn’t clear. Another child wasn’t part of the plan.

I contacted Women on Web and got medicine for an abortion.

The most stressful part was waiting for delivery because Polish customs officials are checking packages like this.

During the abortion I was alone but had a lot of help from other women online. That was very important and made me feel I wasn’t alone.

Only my husband knows, I didn’t tell anyone else. Making a confession about abortion is almost a suicide here.

Feelings of Liberation

Some women remember their abortions as a defining act of self-determination.

Oklahoma City, United States

Oklahoma is one of many states that require a doctor’s physical presence for a medical abortion.

Ashley: I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, and I had two young children. I was already depressed. A third child would make me even more so, rendering me incapable of being a good mother to the two children I had.

Fortunately, I had discovered the pregnancy early enough that I was able to induce the abortion through medication from Planned Parenthood.

Then I went to my in-laws’ house, where they could help me watch my children. I spent most of the day resting in the bathtub alone and suffered heavy bleeding for some time after.

I was not sad about this abortion. On the contrary, I recognized it as a necessary process to protect my children. My now ex-husband was becoming scarier to us all.

I haven’t told many people about it because I don’t want to have to argue with family members. It’s easier to spend time around each other without their judgment.

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

There are no federal laws restricting abortion in Canada, but provincial laws vary. In Alberta, abortions are legal up to 20 weeks.

JT: I had a free, surgical abortion at a clinic in the city where I live. It was both the easiest and one of the most significant choices I’ve made.

The morning of my procedure, I wasn’t allowed food or drink. I had to bring a friend to the clinic to wait for me and take me home. Once we got through the security entrance, I was admitted and brought to the waiting room. Then, I left my friend, got into my gown and waited in a common room with other patients.

After the ultrasound, which I was not required to look at, and another waiting area, I was taken for my surgery. I gave my consent, and was put under.

When I woke up, I thought I’d slept through and missed my procedure, but it was done. At the clinic, I felt safe, and relieved. My ability to have an abortion will forever be something for which I feel gratitude.

Ripple Effects

The aftermath of an abortion can vary widely. In countries where the procedure is illegal, patients may suffer health risks and social stigma. In places with open access, women often get supplementary care such as birth control and testing for sexually transmitted diseases.

Baguio City, Philippines

Abortion is permitted to save a woman’s life, but the law does not state this explicitly. Poor women often turn to herbalists for abortion elixirs, and the Guttmacher Institute, a global authority on reproductive health research, estimates that roughly 1,000 Filipino women die each year from abortion complications.

After a woman has an abortion, even one as early as 10 weeks, she may experience leaking colostrum, an early form of lactation.

Mia: It was 1998, and I was 20 years old. I found out I was pregnant on the eve of Father’s Day. I greeted my boyfriend the next day with a happy Father’s Day card. He was happy.

The next day I went to have an ultrasound. I found out that I was two months pregnant. I was dumbstruck. I had been seeing my boyfriend since March, but we only had sex in May. The baby wasn’t his.

When he got home that evening, it was raining hard, the power was out, yet I decided to tell him. He was understandably upset. After some time, he said that the choice was mine. I decided to get an abortion.

Abortion is not legal in my country, so the abortion was in secret. The abortionist charged us 10,000 pesos (roughly $500, adjusted for inflation), a thousand for every week I was along — a steep sum for a young couple.

The night of the abortion, my boyfriend dropped me at a designated spot. A boy, about 12, met me, and we walked a few minutes until we reached a clapboard house in one of the poorer parts of the city.

The “abortionista” brought me to a dimly lit room. She had instructed me to bring a nightgown. I was told to change into it. She then brought some pills for me to take and a glass of water. This was sometime around 8 p.m. She then pointed to the bed and told me to sleep until the time came.

At about midnight I woke up to pain from contractions. I called out for the abortionist, and she immediately came. The pain escalated fast, up to the point where she instructed me to push, and so I did. It was over quickly.

She asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I said, “Hindi.” (No.) She still answered that it was a boy, just in case my boyfriend would like to know.

She proceeded to clean me, then said it was time for me to go. So in the wee hours of the morning, I walked back to the roadside with the same boy. My boyfriend was waiting, and we went home.

The next day, my breasts started leaking colostrum. I didn’t know what to do. I applied warm compresses, not knowing this would enhance the milk production.

I ended up with a severe case of mastitis requiring an operation. I had to tell my surgeon what happened, but I begged him not to tell my parents. On paper, it appeared I just had an infection.

Eventually, I withdrew from law school because I had to undergo surgery for the infection. I instead took up nursing.

Until now, my loved ones do not know of the abortion. It is still taboo to talk about. Do I regret having done it? No. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, and of a child not born out of love.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Amy: Our much-wanted baby was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal condition. We had to arrange for a surgical abortion in a different country. We paid for it ourselves: for flights, hotels, the procedure.

We brought home our baby’s remains in our hand luggage and buried them ourselves in secrecy.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Abortion is legal for any reason if the pregnancy has not exceeded 12 weeks.

Stine: I found out I was pregnant, and I did not want to have a baby, so I got an abortion.

As soon as I saw the pregnancy test was positive, I called my doctor and told her my situation. With no judgment, she gave me the number for a clinic that does abortions 14 km (9 miles) from where I live, so it was very accessible.

I called the clinic, got an appointment two days later. The gynecologist checked me for STDs, cleared me, and told me about the procedure for my medical abortion.

I had a follow-up at the clinic a few weeks later, to make sure everything was O.K.

This cost me absolutely nothing, zero. I only paid for my painkillers.

I haven’t told my parents, since I am quite young, but my friends have all been very supportive. It was never a big deal for me, though, so we don’t really talk about it anymore.

Isvett Verde and Audrey Carlsen contributed reporting from New York. Natalia Gutierrez Avila contributed reporting from Mexico City.

A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.

Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.

The post ‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2m9F8bj via News of World

[party-hard-or-die]

‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion

Voters in Ireland this spring struck down a 35-year-old constitutional ban on abortion, one of the strictest in Europe. In Poland, politicians are making a renewed push to restrict abortion. A bill to legalize abortion is narrowly advancing through Argentina’s Congress.

And in the United States, the departure of Justice Anthony Kennedy and President Trump’s selection to succeed him is expected to redraw the well-established legal battle lines over abortion rights.

Behind the roiling public debates are deeply personal experiences: an unintended pregnancy, rape, family influence, a medical crisis, feelings of loss.

Even in places where the practice is legal, abortion can still be hard to talk about. When we invited readers to share their own stories, more than 1,300 responded from over 30 countries, showing the vast range of reasons, means and outcomes for abortion.

We selected the 13 stories below from distant pockets of the globe. They reflect the spectrum of abortion laws and the important roles of money, technology, information and culture in dictating the safety and aftermath of the procedure. These accounts have been condensed and edited for clarity, and to protect the identities of those involved.

Money

Money can play a major role in access to a safe abortion, especially in countries where the procedure is illegal.

Tegucigalpa, Honduras

Under the Honduran penal code, abortion is illegal in all cases. The possible exception described in the country’s Medical Code of Ethics is when an abortion would save the life of a pregnant woman, but that can be hard to determine and the ethics code does not rise to the level of national law.

GG: I was just 16 years old. My partner at the time wasn’t the ideal person — he was studying, wasn’t financially stable — and I have always feared motherhood.

I found a doctor in my community. I told him about my situation and he decided to “help” me. It was a risky situation for him, and I didn’t have the large sum of money he asked for.

He said he would reduce the price if I had sex with him. Scared, I accepted.

After I “paid” him, he inserted an injection and pills into my uterus. It was painful, like cramps, but worse. I couldn’t tell anyone, and I was worried because through the course of the night I hadn’t even bled. I was afraid it wouldn’t work and that I’d wind up with a sick baby.

I went to the doctor first thing in the morning. He examined me and said that I was so early into the pregnancy that my body reabsorbed it [the embryo remnants].

My period returned some time after. It was heavy, and it smelled bad, but I haven’t experienced any irregularities since. To date, I don’t know the repercussions this may have had on my body.

Nobody aside from my partner knew. I had to go on with my life as if nothing happened.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Caoimhe: Both of us knew that there was no way we could afford to bring a child into the world. We knew what we had to do, so we booked an appointment for a surgical abortion at a clinic in Manchester [England].

The surgery itself was horrible, but my nurse held my hand through it. As we were leaving, she told me to rest and take my antibiotics that evening. I should expect to bleed heavily over the next few days, but this was normal.

After arriving at the hotel, I tried to sleep, when a sign on the hotel dresser caught my eye: “Soilage Charge: £150.” I had been so brave until that moment, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The hotel, the last-minute flights, the transport to and from the airport, the actual surgery — my credit card was maxed out. I couldn’t afford another £150 ($200).

My boyfriend was already asleep in the bed, so I made my way into the bathroom, rolled my jacket into a pillow and slept in the bathtub, crying myself to sleep.

Feelings of Loss

For some women, abortion encompasses irreparable heartbreak, especially when coupled with other traumas like an abusive partner.

Kuje, Nigeria

Abortion is illegal in Nigeria except to save the woman’s life.

RL: My boyfriend wanted to have sex with me, but I was not in the mood. He tried penetrating me. I struggled to resist him.

A few weeks later, I got ill. I went to the hospital and was told I was pregnant.

I confronted my boyfriend, but he denied the pregnancy. I thought, I will break the hearts of everyone who looked after me. I was so scared and all alone.

My boyfriend then took me to an unskilled provider who carried out a surgical procedure on me at 12 weeks. It was quite painful and was done in a dirty environment. I was scared that I would lose my life.

Two months later I was ill again and went back to the hospital; a scan revealed that I was 20 weeks pregnant. I continued to carry the pregnancy but had a stillbirth at 37 weeks.

It took me a long time to recover after the death of my child. I still somehow feel responsible that the failed abortion exposed my baby to infection.

Lexington, Mass., United States

Abortion is legal in the United States. Individual states have restrictions on the procedure, including waiting periods and limits on timing, generally to before 20 to 24 weeks of gestation.

GR: We already had three children, all daughters, when we had an unexpected pregnancy. My husband repeated that he only wanted a son for a fourth. He suggested I take a gender test, at 11 weeks. When I told him I would not take such a test, he raised getting an abortion.

On a frigid morning in January of 2009, my now-ex husband drove me to a now-closed clinic, off Route 9 in Boston. I recall sitting behind him in the car ride down — rather than beside him — because this abortion was his idea.

We entered the waiting room, where my husband paid for the abortion. For over an hour I wept in a chair beside him. I could not complete the intake form. I could not check off the small box in the lower corner of the page asking about coercion.

I was shaking, weeping and frightened. At one point, a silver-haired security worker approached me and said, “You should not be here.”

With great reluctance, I signed the form and waited my turn.

For years following, I have heard the cries of newborns — at the grocery store, in the airport on my way to a business trip, in parks, on sidewalks — and it triggers that frigid day in January.

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Australian abortion laws vary by state. In Queensland, it is illegal except to protect a woman’s mental or physical health.

S: Following six rounds of IVF, we conceived a baby. During our first trimester testing, we discovered a chromosomal disorder. I have a sibling with the same disability, for whom I will have to care when my parents no longer can.

We decided mostly based on that factor, and out of not wanting our child to endure a lifetime of hardship and pain.

Despite it being a criminal offense in my state, my obstetrician and a colleague of his arranged the paperwork for exemption for a surgical abortion, done at 12 weeks. My care was all very streamlined, and I did not feel judged. Our total out of pocket was about $500 (300 USD).

It was a traumatic experience that’s forever changed me. I was always pro-choice, but just didn’t think it would be my choice.

Portsmouth, United Kingdom

Since 1967, abortion has been widely legal in England, Scotland and Wales for pregnancies not exceeding 24 weeks. An abortion must be provided by a doctor and also requires signoff from two other doctors.

GD: Nobody told me how bad I would feel afterward. I contemplated suicide. A Christian friend supported me through healing. It was a long process, and I still miss my baby.

The Internet

The internet has spread information about abortions as well as access to the procedure. Websites, like the Netherlands-based Women on Web, provide the pills necessary for an early medical abortion. Each woman is given an online consultation with a licensed doctor before she is mailed the medications, typically mifepristone and misoprostol pills, that induce a miscarriage.

Lusake, Zambia

Abortion is broadly legal for health and socioeconomic reasons in Zambia, but it requires the consent of three doctors and must be performed in a hospital. Violations of those rules have penalties of up to seven years in prison for the provider and 14 for the patient.

SN: I was in a committed, two-year relationship with my boyfriend and was on birth control. I accidentally missed a few days, took the pills as soon as I remembered, but found myself pregnant.

I was working full-time and studying for my master’s — I could not have a baby. In fact, I don’t like children and never wanted any.

The process of seeking an abortion through the government system was harrowing. Every step seems like a deterrent. They require several counseling sessions with providers who are very quick to make snide remarks to shame and belittle your circumstances and choice.

In the end, I decided to forgo the entire legal system in favor of purchasing misoprostol pills from a pharmacist I knew who was willing to sell them without a prescription.

I was eight weeks pregnant, and I was not sure of my eligibility, the right dosage or the proper instructions for administration. None of the pharmacists I tried consulting could help me. I finally stumbled across several websites that offered instructions.

I took the pills according to the online directions and waited. I felt severe cramping and nausea but otherwise no other symptoms.

I have encouraged all my friends to go this route should they ever find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy.

Eastern Poland

In Poland, abortion is legal when the woman’s life is at risk, or in cases of rape, incest or severe prenatal defects.

K: My contraception pills didn’t work for some reason. I’m over 40 and have two children. Our financial situation wasn’t clear. Another child wasn’t part of the plan.

I contacted Women on Web and got medicine for an abortion.

The most stressful part was waiting for delivery because Polish customs officials are checking packages like this.

During the abortion I was alone but had a lot of help from other women online. That was very important and made me feel I wasn’t alone.

Only my husband knows, I didn’t tell anyone else. Making a confession about abortion is almost a suicide here.

Feelings of Liberation

Some women remember their abortions as a defining act of self-determination.

Oklahoma City, United States

Oklahoma is one of many states that require a doctor’s physical presence for a medical abortion.

Ashley: I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, and I had two young children. I was already depressed. A third child would make me even more so, rendering me incapable of being a good mother to the two children I had.

Fortunately, I had discovered the pregnancy early enough that I was able to induce the abortion through medication from Planned Parenthood.

Then I went to my in-laws’ house, where they could help me watch my children. I spent most of the day resting in the bathtub alone and suffered heavy bleeding for some time after.

I was not sad about this abortion. On the contrary, I recognized it as a necessary process to protect my children. My now ex-husband was becoming scarier to us all.

I haven’t told many people about it because I don’t want to have to argue with family members. It’s easier to spend time around each other without their judgment.

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

There are no federal laws restricting abortion in Canada, but provincial laws vary. In Alberta, abortions are legal up to 20 weeks.

JT: I had a free, surgical abortion at a clinic in the city where I live. It was both the easiest and one of the most significant choices I’ve made.

The morning of my procedure, I wasn’t allowed food or drink. I had to bring a friend to the clinic to wait for me and take me home. Once we got through the security entrance, I was admitted and brought to the waiting room. Then, I left my friend, got into my gown and waited in a common room with other patients.

After the ultrasound, which I was not required to look at, and another waiting area, I was taken for my surgery. I gave my consent, and was put under.

When I woke up, I thought I’d slept through and missed my procedure, but it was done. At the clinic, I felt safe, and relieved. My ability to have an abortion will forever be something for which I feel gratitude.

Ripple Effects

The aftermath of an abortion can vary widely. In countries where the procedure is illegal, patients may suffer health risks and social stigma. In places with open access, women often get supplementary care such as birth control and testing for sexually transmitted diseases.

Baguio City, Philippines

Abortion is permitted to save a woman’s life, but the law does not state this explicitly. Poor women often turn to herbalists for abortion elixirs, and the Guttmacher Institute, a global authority on reproductive health research, estimates that roughly 1,000 Filipino women die each year from abortion complications.

After a woman has an abortion, even one as early as 10 weeks, she may experience leaking colostrum, an early form of lactation.

Mia: It was 1998, and I was 20 years old. I found out I was pregnant on the eve of Father’s Day. I greeted my boyfriend the next day with a happy Father’s Day card. He was happy.

The next day I went to have an ultrasound. I found out that I was two months pregnant. I was dumbstruck. I had been seeing my boyfriend since March, but we only had sex in May. The baby wasn’t his.

When he got home that evening, it was raining hard, the power was out, yet I decided to tell him. He was understandably upset. After some time, he said that the choice was mine. I decided to get an abortion.

Abortion is not legal in my country, so the abortion was in secret. The abortionist charged us 10,000 pesos (roughly $500, adjusted for inflation), a thousand for every week I was along — a steep sum for a young couple.

The night of the abortion, my boyfriend dropped me at a designated spot. A boy, about 12, met me, and we walked a few minutes until we reached a clapboard house in one of the poorer parts of the city.

The “abortionista” brought me to a dimly lit room. She had instructed me to bring a nightgown. I was told to change into it. She then brought some pills for me to take and a glass of water. This was sometime around 8 p.m. She then pointed to the bed and told me to sleep until the time came.

At about midnight I woke up to pain from contractions. I called out for the abortionist, and she immediately came. The pain escalated fast, up to the point where she instructed me to push, and so I did. It was over quickly.

She asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I said, “Hindi.” (No.) She still answered that it was a boy, just in case my boyfriend would like to know.

She proceeded to clean me, then said it was time for me to go. So in the wee hours of the morning, I walked back to the roadside with the same boy. My boyfriend was waiting, and we went home.

The next day, my breasts started leaking colostrum. I didn’t know what to do. I applied warm compresses, not knowing this would enhance the milk production.

I ended up with a severe case of mastitis requiring an operation. I had to tell my surgeon what happened, but I begged him not to tell my parents. On paper, it appeared I just had an infection.

Eventually, I withdrew from law school because I had to undergo surgery for the infection. I instead took up nursing.

Until now, my loved ones do not know of the abortion. It is still taboo to talk about. Do I regret having done it? No. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, and of a child not born out of love.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Amy: Our much-wanted baby was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal condition. We had to arrange for a surgical abortion in a different country. We paid for it ourselves: for flights, hotels, the procedure.

We brought home our baby’s remains in our hand luggage and buried them ourselves in secrecy.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Abortion is legal for any reason if the pregnancy has not exceeded 12 weeks.

Stine: I found out I was pregnant, and I did not want to have a baby, so I got an abortion.

As soon as I saw the pregnancy test was positive, I called my doctor and told her my situation. With no judgment, she gave me the number for a clinic that does abortions 14 km (9 miles) from where I live, so it was very accessible.

I called the clinic, got an appointment two days later. The gynecologist checked me for STDs, cleared me, and told me about the procedure for my medical abortion.

I had a follow-up at the clinic a few weeks later, to make sure everything was O.K.

This cost me absolutely nothing, zero. I only paid for my painkillers.

I haven’t told my parents, since I am quite young, but my friends have all been very supportive. It was never a big deal for me, though, so we don’t really talk about it anymore.

Isvett Verde and Audrey Carlsen contributed reporting from New York. Natalia Gutierrez Avila contributed reporting from Mexico City.

A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.

Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.

The post ‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2m9F8bj via Breaking News

[dragnews]

‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion

Voters in Ireland this spring struck down a 35-year-old constitutional ban on abortion, one of the strictest in Europe. In Poland, politicians are making a renewed push to restrict abortion. A bill to legalize abortion is narrowly advancing through Argentina’s Congress.

And in the United States, the departure of Justice Anthony Kennedy and President Trump’s selection to succeed him is expected to redraw the well-established legal battle lines over abortion rights.

Behind the roiling public debates are deeply personal experiences: an unintended pregnancy, rape, family influence, a medical crisis, feelings of loss.

Even in places where the practice is legal, abortion can still be hard to talk about. When we invited readers to share their own stories, more than 1,300 responded from over 30 countries, showing the vast range of reasons, means and outcomes for abortion.

We selected the 13 stories below from distant pockets of the globe. They reflect the spectrum of abortion laws and the important roles of money, technology, information and culture in dictating the safety and aftermath of the procedure. These accounts have been condensed and edited for clarity, and to protect the identities of those involved.

Money

Money can play a major role in access to a safe abortion, especially in countries where the procedure is illegal.

Tegucigalpa, Honduras

Under the Honduran penal code, abortion is illegal in all cases. The possible exception described in the country’s Medical Code of Ethics is when an abortion would save the life of a pregnant woman, but that can be hard to determine and the ethics code does not rise to the level of national law.

GG: I was just 16 years old. My partner at the time wasn’t the ideal person — he was studying, wasn’t financially stable — and I have always feared motherhood.

I found a doctor in my community. I told him about my situation and he decided to “help” me. It was a risky situation for him, and I didn’t have the large sum of money he asked for.

He said he would reduce the price if I had sex with him. Scared, I accepted.

After I “paid” him, he inserted an injection and pills into my uterus. It was painful, like cramps, but worse. I couldn’t tell anyone, and I was worried because through the course of the night I hadn’t even bled. I was afraid it wouldn’t work and that I’d wind up with a sick baby.

I went to the doctor first thing in the morning. He examined me and said that I was so early into the pregnancy that my body reabsorbed it [the embryo remnants].

My period returned some time after. It was heavy, and it smelled bad, but I haven’t experienced any irregularities since. To date, I don’t know the repercussions this may have had on my body.

Nobody aside from my partner knew. I had to go on with my life as if nothing happened.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Caoimhe: Both of us knew that there was no way we could afford to bring a child into the world. We knew what we had to do, so we booked an appointment for a surgical abortion at a clinic in Manchester [England].

The surgery itself was horrible, but my nurse held my hand through it. As we were leaving, she told me to rest and take my antibiotics that evening. I should expect to bleed heavily over the next few days, but this was normal.

After arriving at the hotel, I tried to sleep, when a sign on the hotel dresser caught my eye: “Soilage Charge: £150.” I had been so brave until that moment, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

The hotel, the last-minute flights, the transport to and from the airport, the actual surgery — my credit card was maxed out. I couldn’t afford another £150 ($200).

My boyfriend was already asleep in the bed, so I made my way into the bathroom, rolled my jacket into a pillow and slept in the bathtub, crying myself to sleep.

Feelings of Loss

For some women, abortion encompasses irreparable heartbreak, especially when coupled with other traumas like an abusive partner.

Kuje, Nigeria

Abortion is illegal in Nigeria except to save the woman’s life.

RL: My boyfriend wanted to have sex with me, but I was not in the mood. He tried penetrating me. I struggled to resist him.

A few weeks later, I got ill. I went to the hospital and was told I was pregnant.

I confronted my boyfriend, but he denied the pregnancy. I thought, I will break the hearts of everyone who looked after me. I was so scared and all alone.

My boyfriend then took me to an unskilled provider who carried out a surgical procedure on me at 12 weeks. It was quite painful and was done in a dirty environment. I was scared that I would lose my life.

Two months later I was ill again and went back to the hospital; a scan revealed that I was 20 weeks pregnant. I continued to carry the pregnancy but had a stillbirth at 37 weeks.

It took me a long time to recover after the death of my child. I still somehow feel responsible that the failed abortion exposed my baby to infection.

Lexington, Mass., United States

Abortion is legal in the United States. Individual states have restrictions on the procedure, including waiting periods and limits on timing, generally to before 20 to 24 weeks of gestation.

GR: We already had three children, all daughters, when we had an unexpected pregnancy. My husband repeated that he only wanted a son for a fourth. He suggested I take a gender test, at 11 weeks. When I told him I would not take such a test, he raised getting an abortion.

On a frigid morning in January of 2009, my now-ex husband drove me to a now-closed clinic, off Route 9 in Boston. I recall sitting behind him in the car ride down — rather than beside him — because this abortion was his idea.

We entered the waiting room, where my husband paid for the abortion. For over an hour I wept in a chair beside him. I could not complete the intake form. I could not check off the small box in the lower corner of the page asking about coercion.

I was shaking, weeping and frightened. At one point, a silver-haired security worker approached me and said, “You should not be here.”

With great reluctance, I signed the form and waited my turn.

For years following, I have heard the cries of newborns — at the grocery store, in the airport on my way to a business trip, in parks, on sidewalks — and it triggers that frigid day in January.

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Australian abortion laws vary by state. In Queensland, it is illegal except to protect a woman’s mental or physical health.

S: Following six rounds of IVF, we conceived a baby. During our first trimester testing, we discovered a chromosomal disorder. I have a sibling with the same disability, for whom I will have to care when my parents no longer can.

We decided mostly based on that factor, and out of not wanting our child to endure a lifetime of hardship and pain.

Despite it being a criminal offense in my state, my obstetrician and a colleague of his arranged the paperwork for exemption for a surgical abortion, done at 12 weeks. My care was all very streamlined, and I did not feel judged. Our total out of pocket was about $500 (300 USD).

It was a traumatic experience that’s forever changed me. I was always pro-choice, but just didn’t think it would be my choice.

Portsmouth, United Kingdom

Since 1967, abortion has been widely legal in England, Scotland and Wales for pregnancies not exceeding 24 weeks. An abortion must be provided by a doctor and also requires signoff from two other doctors.

GD: Nobody told me how bad I would feel afterward. I contemplated suicide. A Christian friend supported me through healing. It was a long process, and I still miss my baby.

The Internet

The internet has spread information about abortions as well as access to the procedure. Websites, like the Netherlands-based Women on Web, provide the pills necessary for an early medical abortion. Each woman is given an online consultation with a licensed doctor before she is mailed the medications, typically mifepristone and misoprostol pills, that induce a miscarriage.

Lusake, Zambia

Abortion is broadly legal for health and socioeconomic reasons in Zambia, but it requires the consent of three doctors and must be performed in a hospital. Violations of those rules have penalties of up to seven years in prison for the provider and 14 for the patient.

SN: I was in a committed, two-year relationship with my boyfriend and was on birth control. I accidentally missed a few days, took the pills as soon as I remembered, but found myself pregnant.

I was working full-time and studying for my master’s — I could not have a baby. In fact, I don’t like children and never wanted any.

The process of seeking an abortion through the government system was harrowing. Every step seems like a deterrent. They require several counseling sessions with providers who are very quick to make snide remarks to shame and belittle your circumstances and choice.

In the end, I decided to forgo the entire legal system in favor of purchasing misoprostol pills from a pharmacist I knew who was willing to sell them without a prescription.

I was eight weeks pregnant, and I was not sure of my eligibility, the right dosage or the proper instructions for administration. None of the pharmacists I tried consulting could help me. I finally stumbled across several websites that offered instructions.

I took the pills according to the online directions and waited. I felt severe cramping and nausea but otherwise no other symptoms.

I have encouraged all my friends to go this route should they ever find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy.

Eastern Poland

In Poland, abortion is legal when the woman’s life is at risk, or in cases of rape, incest or severe prenatal defects.

K: My contraception pills didn’t work for some reason. I’m over 40 and have two children. Our financial situation wasn’t clear. Another child wasn’t part of the plan.

I contacted Women on Web and got medicine for an abortion.

The most stressful part was waiting for delivery because Polish customs officials are checking packages like this.

During the abortion I was alone but had a lot of help from other women online. That was very important and made me feel I wasn’t alone.

Only my husband knows, I didn’t tell anyone else. Making a confession about abortion is almost a suicide here.

Feelings of Liberation

Some women remember their abortions as a defining act of self-determination.

Oklahoma City, United States

Oklahoma is one of many states that require a doctor’s physical presence for a medical abortion.

Ashley: I was in an emotionally abusive marriage, and I had two young children. I was already depressed. A third child would make me even more so, rendering me incapable of being a good mother to the two children I had.

Fortunately, I had discovered the pregnancy early enough that I was able to induce the abortion through medication from Planned Parenthood.

Then I went to my in-laws’ house, where they could help me watch my children. I spent most of the day resting in the bathtub alone and suffered heavy bleeding for some time after.

I was not sad about this abortion. On the contrary, I recognized it as a necessary process to protect my children. My now ex-husband was becoming scarier to us all.

I haven’t told many people about it because I don’t want to have to argue with family members. It’s easier to spend time around each other without their judgment.

Calgary, Alberta, Canada

There are no federal laws restricting abortion in Canada, but provincial laws vary. In Alberta, abortions are legal up to 20 weeks.

JT: I had a free, surgical abortion at a clinic in the city where I live. It was both the easiest and one of the most significant choices I’ve made.

The morning of my procedure, I wasn’t allowed food or drink. I had to bring a friend to the clinic to wait for me and take me home. Once we got through the security entrance, I was admitted and brought to the waiting room. Then, I left my friend, got into my gown and waited in a common room with other patients.

After the ultrasound, which I was not required to look at, and another waiting area, I was taken for my surgery. I gave my consent, and was put under.

When I woke up, I thought I’d slept through and missed my procedure, but it was done. At the clinic, I felt safe, and relieved. My ability to have an abortion will forever be something for which I feel gratitude.

Ripple Effects

The aftermath of an abortion can vary widely. In countries where the procedure is illegal, patients may suffer health risks and social stigma. In places with open access, women often get supplementary care such as birth control and testing for sexually transmitted diseases.

Baguio City, Philippines

Abortion is permitted to save a woman’s life, but the law does not state this explicitly. Poor women often turn to herbalists for abortion elixirs, and the Guttmacher Institute, a global authority on reproductive health research, estimates that roughly 1,000 Filipino women die each year from abortion complications.

After a woman has an abortion, even one as early as 10 weeks, she may experience leaking colostrum, an early form of lactation.

Mia: It was 1998, and I was 20 years old. I found out I was pregnant on the eve of Father’s Day. I greeted my boyfriend the next day with a happy Father’s Day card. He was happy.

The next day I went to have an ultrasound. I found out that I was two months pregnant. I was dumbstruck. I had been seeing my boyfriend since March, but we only had sex in May. The baby wasn’t his.

When he got home that evening, it was raining hard, the power was out, yet I decided to tell him. He was understandably upset. After some time, he said that the choice was mine. I decided to get an abortion.

Abortion is not legal in my country, so the abortion was in secret. The abortionist charged us 10,000 pesos (roughly $500, adjusted for inflation), a thousand for every week I was along — a steep sum for a young couple.

The night of the abortion, my boyfriend dropped me at a designated spot. A boy, about 12, met me, and we walked a few minutes until we reached a clapboard house in one of the poorer parts of the city.

The “abortionista” brought me to a dimly lit room. She had instructed me to bring a nightgown. I was told to change into it. She then brought some pills for me to take and a glass of water. This was sometime around 8 p.m. She then pointed to the bed and told me to sleep until the time came.

At about midnight I woke up to pain from contractions. I called out for the abortionist, and she immediately came. The pain escalated fast, up to the point where she instructed me to push, and so I did. It was over quickly.

She asked if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. I said, “Hindi.” (No.) She still answered that it was a boy, just in case my boyfriend would like to know.

She proceeded to clean me, then said it was time for me to go. So in the wee hours of the morning, I walked back to the roadside with the same boy. My boyfriend was waiting, and we went home.

The next day, my breasts started leaking colostrum. I didn’t know what to do. I applied warm compresses, not knowing this would enhance the milk production.

I ended up with a severe case of mastitis requiring an operation. I had to tell my surgeon what happened, but I begged him not to tell my parents. On paper, it appeared I just had an infection.

Eventually, I withdrew from law school because I had to undergo surgery for the infection. I instead took up nursing.

Until now, my loved ones do not know of the abortion. It is still taboo to talk about. Do I regret having done it? No. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, and of a child not born out of love.

Dublin, Ireland

Until this spring, abortion was illegal in Ireland except to save the woman’s life.

Amy: Our much-wanted baby was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal condition. We had to arrange for a surgical abortion in a different country. We paid for it ourselves: for flights, hotels, the procedure.

We brought home our baby’s remains in our hand luggage and buried them ourselves in secrecy.

Copenhagen, Denmark

Abortion is legal for any reason if the pregnancy has not exceeded 12 weeks.

Stine: I found out I was pregnant, and I did not want to have a baby, so I got an abortion.

As soon as I saw the pregnancy test was positive, I called my doctor and told her my situation. With no judgment, she gave me the number for a clinic that does abortions 14 km (9 miles) from where I live, so it was very accessible.

I called the clinic, got an appointment two days later. The gynecologist checked me for STDs, cleared me, and told me about the procedure for my medical abortion.

I had a follow-up at the clinic a few weeks later, to make sure everything was O.K.

This cost me absolutely nothing, zero. I only paid for my painkillers.

I haven’t told my parents, since I am quite young, but my friends have all been very supportive. It was never a big deal for me, though, so we don’t really talk about it anymore.

Isvett Verde and Audrey Carlsen contributed reporting from New York. Natalia Gutierrez Avila contributed reporting from Mexico City.

A note to readers who are not subscribers: This article from the Reader Center does not count toward your monthly free article limit.

Follow the @ReaderCenter on Twitter for more coverage highlighting your perspectives and experiences and for insight into how we work.

The post ‘I Couldn’t Tell Anyone’: Women Around the World Reveal Intimate Stories of Abortion appeared first on World The News.

from World The News https://ift.tt/2m9F8bj via Today News

[briefnightmaretiger-blog]

Fall (season)Colorado autumn shades overview: Where when to go. Erie will vie with at the very least 100 other communities to land Amazon's 2nd head office, and also the 50,000 jobs that feature it. The report will certainly be sent to your email address within 12 hrs after your settlement has actually been completed. Matt started the I College's Master of Information & Information Science program this term as well as is the first recipient of the Jack Larson Data permanently" Fellowship, which aids MIDS pupils using data science to benefit society. Current Graduates may be transformed to an irreversible setting (or, in some restricted scenarios, a term consultation lasting 1-4 years). The apartment is located around 3 kilometres from the facility of Nowy Targ. Ludzi) należało do Polski przed 1938 r. Było to jedenaście wsi orawskich (Lipnica Wielka i Mała, Zubrzyca Górna i Dolna, Jabłonka, Chyżne, Orawka, Bukowina, Podszkle, Harkabuz, Podsamie) i piętnaście wsi spiskich (Niedzica, Łapsze Wyżne i Niżne, Łapszanka, Kacwin, Brzegi, Rzepiska, Jurgów, Czarna Góra, Trybsz, Krempachy, Nowa Biała, Frydman, Falsztyn, Dursztyn). Zerknijcie na naszą stronę, gdzie znajdziecie wywiad z naszym nowym kapitanem Marcinem Koluszem. Redakcja nie ponosi odpowiedzialności za treść komentarzy, zastrzega sobie jednak prawo do nie publikowania ich, zwłaszcza tych, które zawierają wulgaryzmy, epitety powszechnie uznane za obraźliwe, nawołują do zachowań niezgodnych z prawem, obrażają osoby publiczne i prywatne, inne narodowości, rasy, religie itd. The examination was made on March 18, after the 2nd suit for the bronze medal versus STS Sanok. You could even select your preferred locations to obtain customised deals. TatrySki Podhale Nowy Targ is minor league affiliate of: Podhale Nowy Targ. Jeśli zastanawiasz się czy dasz radę, odpowiedź brzmi TAK! The nearby flight terminal is Krakow - Balice Airport terminal, 54 miles from the building. Objectif: faire de l'usine sochalienne la plus performante d'Europe d'ici 2021. The Emmy victor's well-known show will play a restricted interaction this loss. Furthermore, firms have to provide an ample alternative ways of using and ought to provide any type of added information about the possibility that would be valuable to a possible applicant that is not able to participate in the on-campus occasion. Hmm, un problème est survenu lors de l'accès au serveur. Despite tales to the contrary from sources not attached to the real information, if an individual opts out of location tracking on AccuWeather, no GENERAL PRACTITIONER coordinates are gathered or passed without more opt-in consent from the customer. He found if a pup has coccidia break out, they will certainly not utilize an inoculation effectively. Your pups will certainly be SMALL, loosened stamina because of anemia as well as get pneumonia. Their residence is very clean and also perfectly situated. The substantial bulk of the demands Apple receives from police come from a company dealing with part of a consumer that has actually asked for aid situating a taken tool. Celox A, a syringe-like applicator filled with granulated Celox gauze, has actually been made use of by armed forces, injury staffs, and law enforcement for taking care of smaller surface area wounds (it's now about $20 on Amazon.com ). WiFi is offered in public areas and is for free. It is carefully situated to the surrounding national forests. You'll obtain quick one-click sign in and be able to easily share your flights with your good friends. ISchool launches new Option III masters program in identity monitoring and safety in partnership with the Center For Identity. After a trial period, Flytrex as well as AHA intend to start providing bundles along several courses and also directly to consumers' yards in Iceland, and also soon the remainder of the world (just like the story of Transformers: Age of Termination). A really great as well as rather apartment in a great ubication for checking out the diferent natural parcs in the region. This vulnerability located by Armis was revealed to Apple. For settings that have positive education needs, firms may enforce academic needs as they would certainly associate with the OPM certifications basic for the target setting if specified as qualification requirements, as opposed to minimal qualification requirements. Livrée sans jeu, elle est malheureusement inutilisable. Gronków is a peaceful village, with exceptional locations for strolling, cycling as well as cross-country skiing. Hosts saw to it we have actually had really pleasant Xmas break. This covers a substantial section of all linked devices globally. The service is a trial run for Flytrex, which wants to make use of drones to earn it possible for mom-and-pop shops to compete with Amazon when it involves one-hour distribution in a way that does not include sending younger bending via the roads in his Toyota Camry. When visitors stay at the home they look into exactly how silent the area is, just how friendly the personnel are and more. The Current Grads Program is carried out mostly by each working with company. The MIDS program brings in smart, creative information specialists that work for top companies in computer finance, software application, and also health and wellness care. belongs to The Priceline Group, the world leader in on-line travel & relevant solutions. MMKS Podhale Nowy Targ relate to play in Gloss Organization. Utilizing particular eligibility demands for entrance right into your firm's Pathways Programs. He got a ring from the guy that stated he was from Florida as well as shed everything in Hurricane Irma. The host family is remarkable, service minded as well as online for your solution 24/7. Anita Earls, executive director of the Southern Coalition for Social Justice, says 'it's completely possible' to draw maps that remedy the gerrymandered districts. In the inmost snow, they set up a bon fire for us just outside the cabin for the night as well as warmed the water in the wonderful outside barrel bathroom - which we advise you use! Would certainly recommend this area for those who involve trek in Tatry mountains! Zapisz się na zajęcia lub przyjdź do klubu, a my wprowadzimy Cię w świat CrossFitu. You could also have a look on previous suits of your favorite group as well as see suit statistics as well as much more. Fabulous location to stay, a suitable escape from the hectic life & great base to uncover the area. . Go into days to see the overall trip price including added fees (yet leaving out any taxes). The Neo-Gothic brick temple, which still exists today, was started in the late 19th century on the site of the original taken apart church which had actually been built from larch timber. Minor guidance - you must buy, with whatever you may need during your keep to prevent taxing trips to the store. Back in the Privacy dialog, Click Manage Web site Information ... as well as kind right into the search bar. While establishing every new field we always bear in mind the requirements as well as particular character of the regional region. COCCIDIA misbehaves NEWS as well as can cause FATALITY in young puppies. Your house is a little collection with publications for adults (czytadeł to a more ambitious literature) in addition to for youngsters. The charitable Jewish ancestry organization JewishGen has a detailed online data source of Yizkor publications and also the communities that they document. Agencies may hold recruitment events at only one university or school before loading a task under the Pathways Programs as a component of a broader and more detailed outreach and employment approach. Irene Clark of Orlando was driving eastbound on Westover Roberts Road near Florida's Turnpike concerning 9:40 a.m. and quit at a junction with a blinking traffic signal, FHP Sgt. It was homecoming evening at Fort Leboeuf, but quarterback Jason Williams and also the Erie High violation ruled the field in a 42-3 success over the Bison. Get updates with the most recent deals as well as traveler testimonials each week. Should you reserve your journey final, nonetheless, you might have to pay a bit extra. My visitors can prompt many interesting routes relying on your rate of interests, eg. A flight on one of the most stunning scenic locations with a scenic sight of the Tatras, going to the regional folk musicians and historic path of wood style. Agencies could detail applicants either in a rated checklist by rating order or in an unranked checklist by choice standing. I initially reviewed The Village Voice in print as a pupil in the 1970s-that was exactly how I initially encountered it as well as just how it ended up being as essential to me as it did. Bird's- eye view of Nowy Targ, the resources of the region. Place climate, cottage wonderfully enhanced as well as aromatic wood. Accordingly, non-competitive conversion suggests project to a position in the competitive service. It has to do with time you require to the clouds, and march in an unique location. The new Teaching fellowship Program supplies trainees in high schools, universities, profession institutions and also other qualifying universities with paid opportunities to operate in agencies and discover Federal occupations while finishing their education and learning. In addition to the jail time, UNITED STATE District Court David Cercone sentenced Devonte L. Lucas, 22, to Ten Years of supervised launch. J'assumerai les conséquences", a écrit le Néo-Zélandais sur sa page Facebook. In December 2009, the European Commission determined to honor the Erasmus Charter to the Podhale State Higher Vocational College (PPWSZ) qualifying PPWSZ's pupils to take advantage of both the educational chances supplied by various other EU higher education institutions and also to seek a teaching fellowship placement abroad. The intent of the Recent Graduates Program is to give a 1 year entry-level developing experience which could lead to an irreversible task in a firm's labor force. Deux personnes ont été tuées et une troisième blessée dans trois fusillades différentes dans le département. We're told the company's plant at Aberllefenni, near Machynlleth, will certainly have the ability to create one to 2 tonnes of paper a year - which this will be made use of in a variety of stationery and gift items. Sign up for FREE everyday email e-newsletters (Subscribe right here) to obtain the weather as well as news headings every early morning and also evening. We assist ensure new growths in information and also interactions innovation assistance open culture values. Each town and also town of our Podhale hosts fêtes, outside events and celebrations - as an example Festiwal Ziem Górskich (Hill Areas Celebration), which provides you an excellent possibility to learn about folklore and also societies from around the globe. Our overview is easy to make use of as each village, town and also city has it's own web page with beneficial information for the site visitor. ASME Presents 10 Honors for Accomplishment in Oil Design. Busbud aids you find a bus from Nowy Targ to Vienna. At the top of your Firefox home podhale window, to the left of the web address, you need to see an eco-friendly lock. En incorporant des contenus Twitter dans votre site Internet ou votre application, vous acceptez l' Accord Développeur et la Politique Développeur de Twitter.

OPM reveals the chance to make an application for the PMF Program (normally in the late summer or very early fall) on the PMF and USAJOBS internet sites. So on Wednesday, top plan manufacturers as well as economic advancement stakeholders took part in a roundtable discussion. Weather forecast in Nowy Targ for today will certainly help to identify the air temperature level, possibility of precipitation, get data about wind instructions and also rate, air pressure and also air humidity, and just how these information will alter throughout the day. Erie is entering the competition to be a head office city for Amazon.com. Man-in-The-Middle (MiTM) attacks enable the attacker to step in and also obstruct in all data mosting likely to or from the targeted gadget. With the lot of desktop computer, mobile, and IoT devices only raising, it is vital we could guarantee these types of susceptabilities are not made use of. The BlueBorne assault vector requires no individual communication, works to all software program variations, and also does not require any type of prerequisites or arrangements aside of the Bluetooth being active. Odległe 85 km na południe od Krakowa, 433 km na południe od Warszawy. After the ice hockey normal season finishes we provide you hockey online scores, standings as well as results of the leading ice hockey occasions- IIHF Globe Championship Stanley Cup and hockey ratings from Winter season Olympic competition. The Erie County Video gaming Profits Authority (ECGRA) granted the community assets grants to 20 countywide non-profits at the Erie Zoo.