#how do you grieve for someone who's real name you've never known?

[asklunakittywolf]

Coping with Big Feelings at 2am is never fun

[khoicesbyk]

A/N: I'm officially obsessed with Wolf Bride and what does one do when she's obsessed with a certain book? She writes an AU about it! 😁 So, Talley Ho! *in my Sherlock Holmes voice*

Rated: Mature. | Contains sexual content and strong language. (You know? The usual from me. 😁) | Bolded and/or italicized words are conversations and thoughts of the characters. | Main Characters: Roman (LI) and Naia Evans (MC) | All Characters and names: (except MC and certain original characters, created by me) are property of Pixelberry.

Current Word Count: 1,790 words. (May be a little more and may be a little less. I stop counting after editing and re-editing. 🤷🏾‍♀️)

Song And Story Inspiration: Funny How Time Flies (When You’re Having Fun)-Janet Jackson | All This Time (Vocal Version)-Lalah Hathaway | Can’t Let Go/Vision Of Love-Mariah Carey | If I Ever Fall In Love/Comforter-Shai

This series is rated Mature. It is NOT reading material that is safe for those under 18. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!

This series may contain spoilers. If you wish not to see spoilers, please do not read any further.

If you’d like to be added to my tag list. Just reblog or dm me and I will gladly add you. 😁😘

TW: character death. Death of a parent. Reader discretion is STRONGLY advised!

Tag List: @shewillreadyou @choiceslady @aussieez @secretaryunpaid @pixie88 @bebepac @hopefulmoonobject @sfb123 @lucy-268 @glaimtruelovealways @txemrn @texaskitten30 @choicesficwriterscreations

Chapter 2.) The Alpha.

Roman is Alpha of his Pack.

He was always taught to be strong, to lead, to guide, to hunt, to fight, to defend and especially to breed. It is his duty to carry on the next generation of Alphas like his father did and grandfather before him.

He is the oldest of his parents' children. His father Xander was his hero and he praised the ground his mother Delia walked on. Growing up in the pack wasn’t always easy for him. Growing up he would have dreams of a young girl. She was beautiful, especially when she smiled. Her eyes would light up when she smiled. Her laugh made his heart skip. He loved seeing her in his dreams.

He couldn’t wait to wake up and tell his mother about her.

“Did you see her again?” She asked him as they walked. His mother loved to walk amongst the trees.

“Yes! She was so pretty mother! I love to see her. Even if it’s in a dream.” He replies.

The joy in his voice made Delia smile.

“I’m happy to hear that my son.”

“I do hope that I get to see her again.”

Delia smiled at him then said, “I’m sure that you will see her again, my son.”

His father raised and trained him to be stronger, faster and better than his siblings or any of the other wolf pups. He was being groomed to be the next Alpha. He loved to hunt. Silently listening for his prey before making his move gave him an adrenaline rush. Conquering his prey gave him pride. He loved providing for the Pack.

He became the Alpha at 19 when his father died. Although it is a burden and some of the elders felt he was too young and not ready for it. Roman was more than ready, willing, capable and able to lead the Pack. Even though he missed his father, Roman is a great Alpha. The Pack respects him and follows his authority. He is stern but fair with those he protects. And when he defends the earth as well as his pack, his ferocity is on full display. And even when he is occasionally challenged by others from within the Pack, he always proves why he is Alpha.

He was the leader his mother knew he would be. She loved watching him flourish in his role as Alpha. Seeing his confidence grow brought her joy. Delia loved each of her children and was proud of all of them, but Roman being her oldest and firstborn child had her heart.

Which is why he took her death so hard. He loved his mother and always made sure that her needs were tended to. Even after her cancer diagnosis, if she wanted it then he made sure that she had it. Even if it meant just sitting with her holding her hand or worse singing to and with her, he was happy to do so.

Her final moments were spent in his arms. He knew she didn’t have much time left. He held her in his arms but he wasn’t ready to let her go.

“Roman, it’s time for you to choose a mate.” She said in a voice just above a whisper.

“No. Not now. My focus is on you mother.” He replied cradling her closer to him.

“You must my son. You are Alpha now. It is up to you now to have and raise pups.”

“Mother please…”

She smiled softly at him then said, “My sweet boy, you must. It is our way of life. You must carry on the next generation.”

“I can’t mother. Not right now. My role as Alpha doesn’t allow me time to search.”

“My son, you don’t have to search. You’ve already found her my son.”

“Who?” He asked.

“The young girl you used to dream about. She will be your mate.” Selia replied.

“Mother she isn’t real.”

“Yes she is my son. I’ve seen it. You two are meant to be together. Find her in your mind and your heart and you will see the bond you both share. Find her Roman. She is your mate.”

“Y-yes mother.” He said as his voice cracked.

“I love you my son.” She whispered.

“I love you too mother.”

Delia closed her eyes and took her final breath. Within seconds she was gone. And although he grieved her, Roman understood what his mother was telling him. He needed to find a mate. He tried finding a mate within the Pack and while many of the women had interest in him, he really had none in them. But he forced himself to choose anyway. He settled on his now ex Isobel. They tried to make their relationship work but for him, his heart just wasn’t in it.

His heart was calling on someone else. So he went to the Pack Elder Noemi for guidance.

“What can I do for you, my child?” She asked. Her voice soothing. She was like a grandmother to him.

“I’m having trouble finding a mate, Speaker.” He replied.

“Then let us find you a mate, my child. Come! Let’s go to the grounds.” She replies as she rises to her feet.

He walked behind her as they walked to a plateau known as the grounds. Old stones covered in moss that were placed in a circle. Noemi sat down on the edge while Roman entered the middle.

“Tell me what you want me to do Speaker.” He said to her.

“Close your eyes and open your mind and heart.” She instructed him.

Once his eyes were closed, he opened his mind and heart.

“Heart of the earth, hear me. Open yourself to my child. Guide him on his path to his mate.” She chanted.

Deep in his subconscious, Roman searched. Concentrating on what he remembered about her. He unlocked his mind to the earth. And that’s when he saw her. The girl from his childhood dreams. Only she was no longer a girl. She had grown up to be a beautiful woman. Her long black hair framed her face perfectly. Her brown eyes sparkled. And her beautiful brown skin was hypnotic to him.

He’d found her after all these years. As he looked at her, he noticed that she was singing. He’d heard her voice for the first time in decades. It’s just as beautiful as she is. She was on stage at a karaoke bar with her friends singing “Vision Of Love” by Mariah Carey.

“Treated me kind.

Sweet destiny.

Carried me through desperation.

To the one that was waiting for me.

It took so long.

Still I believed.

Somehow the one that I needed.

Would find me eventually.

I had a vision of love.

And it was all that you've given to me.

Prayed through the nights.

Felt so alone.

Suffered through alienation.

Carried the weight on my own.

Had to be strong.

So I believed.

And now I know I've succeeded.

In finding the place I conceived.

I had a vision of love.

And it was all that you've given to me.

I had a vision of love.

And it was all that you've given me.

I've realized a dream.

And I visualized.

The love that came to be.

Feel so alive.

I'm so thankful that I've received.

The answer that heaven has sent down to me.

You treated me kind (yeah).

Sweet destiny (yes, you did).

And I'll be eternally grateful (oh).

Holding you so close to me (prayed through the night).

Prayed through the nights (so faithfully).

So faithfully (faithfully).

Knowing the one that I needed.

Would find me eventually (he would find me).

I had a vision of love.

And it was all that you've given to me.

I had a vision of love.

And it was all that you turned out to be…”

As she sang, he felt close to her. He could feel her emotions as she sang. She was heartbroken. And it made him furious. He wanted to hold her, to comfort her, to tell her that it will be okay and to tell her that he would protect her. As she sang she could feel a presence around her but couldn’t put her finger on what it was. Like someone had their arms around her and was holding her close. It was their hearts, minds and souls becoming connected and awakening their bond.

When Roman finally opened his eyes, Noemi was smiling at him.

“Have you found her my child?” She asked

“Yes I have. She’s beautiful.” He replies.

“What is her name, my child?” She asked.

“Naia.” He replies.

Noemi smiled warmly at him.

“She will be your mate, my child.”

“Of this I have no doubt, Speaker.”

A week later, Naia looked up Hunt’s Peak and soon found herself enthralled by it. She loved the pictures she’d seen online. She felt connected to it for some inexplicable reason. Soon, she was dreaming of Hunt’s Peak and started hearing a man’s voice. The voice belonged to Roman. And when he was able to dream about her, that’s when he would call out to her. He wanted to have her at his side. His heart longed for her. His body yearned for her. He could feel her even though he had never formally met her before.

Early one morning he was awakened by the pull of his heart. She was close, he could feel it in his bones. She was closer to him than she had ever been before. She was coming. He left the den in search of her. When he went into the woods, he shifted from human to wolf. Being a wolf gave him a better sense of smell and direction. He quickly picked up a scent and followed it.

His being called him to follow his bond with her. The closer he got to her, the stronger the bond became. Soon he arrived at the Days Inn outside of town. He shifted back to his human form and stood at the edge of the woods across from the parking lot. He was drawn to her. Especially when he heard her sing. It was through the bond that they shared that he heard her. He closed his eyes and listened.

“There you are holding her hand.

I am lost.

Dying to understand.

Didn't I cherish you right?

Don't you know you were my life?

Even though I try I can't let go.

Something in your eyes.

Captured my soul.

And every night I see you in my dreams.

You're all I know.

I can't let go.”

Listening to her sing confirmed to him that he’d finally found her. And that very soon, he and Naia would be together.

[ma-gic-gay]

So this is a new one of these and the other one is probably over so yeah

It's a weird Christmas.

It marks a year since anyone last saw Sonny, a year since Julian's death, and a year full of drama, as one would expect.

Michael and Willow had had another child, a girl this time. Her name was Ophelia and Wiley loved being a big brother to her. The pair had also burned their annulment papers when they'd realized she was pregnant and finally admitted their feelings for each other. Watching them together had probably been the highlight of the year for their family.

Sam had started hooking up with Dante much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. It had started as a few random hookups but changed quickly into an actual relationship, testing several familial bonds.

Luckily, that disaster on wheels had been halted when Lulu had woken up from her coma. Lulu and Dante got back together and fell in love, again.

Sasha and Brando had formed a relationship as well, which was quite a surprise at first glance but made sense after a few weeks.

"Carly? You okay?" Jason asks. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't completely broke down yet, or ran away. The furthest she'd ran was the island and even then, it was only a few hours no one knew where she was, since he couldn't teleport and it took that long to get to the island.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she responds, faking a smile.

"Tell that to the tears in your eyes and obviously fake smile," he says to her. "What are you thinking about?"

"It's been a year since any of us have heard from Sonny. For all we know, he's dead. Hell, he probably is. I know I should give up and just agree to a funeral, but it feels wrong to do that without a body," Carly sighs, head in her hands in an effort to hide her tears. "It feels wrong for him to not be here. Last Christmas, we were convinced he'd be home by now and now it's like we've all resigned ourselves to him being dead."

"If it doesn't feel right to have a funeral, don't have one. I've known you for a long time, and your instincts are right a lot of the time. Just because Sonny's not confirmed dead doesn't mean he's not," Jason frowns, putting his arm around her and rubbing circles along her back.

Sonny's "death" meant he had to step up in more ways than one. This had marked the year of Jason running the mob, which he'd practically been doing before but was actually doing now. He'd also had to become sort of a surrogate husband to Carly to the point he practically lives there by now. The kids hadn't questioned it; they'd asked a few times if there was anything going on there but after getting a firm no there hadn't been anything else from them in forms of questioning their relationship status. It was what it was and that was the same friendship they'd always had.

There had been times even Danny had questioned why they were at that house so much, to the point he once asked Carly if they were together or not.

You know it's reaching an odd point when a twelve year old is asking if you're in love with your best friend.

Of course, they didn't take into consideration the fact the whole town thought they were together. Again. Everyone had assumed, based off of how much time they'd been spending together- surprisingly more than normal- and the fact that he'd all but moved into the house that they were together.

That was a fun one to realize when he'd gotten shot and everyone had assured her that her boyfriend would be fine.

It just wasn't happening, they were friends. Anything more could complicate it and complicated almost always meant that there would be fights they couldn't go to each other to uncomplicate.

"I know that, but I just don't want to live knowing that there's a chance he could be alive somewhere and he's been kidnapped or forgotten his name or something. It's like I'm stuck in this neverending circle where there's barely any hope but I can't pretend there's none either. Sometimes, I wish that the police would show up with a body and I would have to confirm that yes, he is dead, just so that I could get out of this loop," Carly sobs. "And then I feel terrible for wishing he was dead because I love him, you know, but then at the same time, I can't help but feel like I need closure."

"That's not a bad thing, to need closure. None of us get any closure when it comes to this, Carly. You're not a bad person for wanting some," he reminds her. "You've been grieving for a year a man you don't even know for sure is dead. It doesn't make you bad to want to have something definite."

"But wanting my husband dead? That's dark," she argues with him.

"You want to know if he's dead or alive, something to confirm what's happened to him. I hate to break it to you but you don't qualify as a terrible person," Jason chuckles. "You've never killed someone, never hurt a kid."

"I shot a dude in open court, I almost killed AJ. I've done a lot of questionable things in my life, Jason," Carly fights back.

She's not wrong, persay, but she's not right. "That stuff doesn't make you a bad person. Morally grey? Yes. Bad? No. You do what you think is best and you're impulsive. If something's not going your way, you'll tip the scales. It's just how you are. None of that makes you a bad person. Some people might not like it, but you've never killed someone or hurt a kid, so in my book you're a good person."

Carly's head comes out of her hands for a minute and he smiles, wiping away the tears. "Well you're not a bad person either. You'd never hurt a kid and you only kill in self defense or if the person's really bad and threatening someone you care about. It's not like you wake up and go kill someone for shits and giggles. You mourn the people you kill and feel bad about it. Only a purely horrible person wouldn't feel bad about their murders."

"Neither of us are bad people, let's just agree on that at least."

"Fine," she relents finally. That only took a year. "I miss Sonny. Especially this time of year. Last year, he read Donna and Avery the Grinch and he had the world's worst Grinch voice. I practically begged him to read another book because of how bad it was. But this year, I wish he would be able to read it to them."

"I miss him too," Jason admits. "It's been a hell of a year without him."

"That it has. So much has changed," she agrees with him, shifting her position on the couch so she's lying her head on his lap.

That's probably why the kids thought they were dating.

He plays with her hair as she laughs, remembering some obscure detail about his telling of the Grinch and decorating for Christmas.

Scratch that, this is definitely why everyone thinks they're together.

"Hey Mom, Jason," Joss greets them, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm going to Trina's. Donna's with Ophelia at the Quartermaine's and Avery's with Ava."

"Alright sweetie, have fun," Carly bids her daughter goodbye, sighing. "Why is she so adult now? I mean, I can remember when she was born and it feels like yesterday. Hell, Michael's birth feels like yesterday. And they're both so grown up."

"Time flies when you're having fun," he answers.

"Where'd you get that? A throw pillow or some advice of my mother's?"

"A card someone sent me back when I was in the hospital. Needless to say, that card got tossed in the trash as soon as you'd let me stand up to go to the trash."

"Who the hell sent that to you of all people?"

"No clue. It didn't have a name attached."

"Huh. Well, it's a terrible expression. Too throw pillow. The real answer would be that we're aging, sadly," Carly sighs again, equally as dramatic. "Granted, I still look like I'm 27, but somehow I've aged."

"Age is but a number."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Rude."

"You do!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm aging as well. You're not in this whole getting old thing alone. Provided, of course, that you agree to age," he smirks.

"I don't have anything better to do, sadly, so I suppose I'll agree to getting older. But I refuse to have a gray hair."

"Then go to the salon when you notice one and dye your hair."

"I plan on it," the blonde smiles at him before changing the topic. "Do you think we're weird?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"Answer the question."

"No?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Carly, how am I supposed to answer this one? I don't know, maybe?" Jason says, though most of it comes out as a question.

"Well, I mean, think of it. Sonny's been presumed dead for a year. You've been in charge of the business and been there for all of us in more ways than I can count. Seriously, I think Donna sees you as a father," Carly chuckles. "And you've listened to me crying and losing it. Hell, you spent a month and a half at the island just so I wouldn't be alone."

"Hey, you're family. I was happy to do all of those things. Besides, you wouldn't leave my side when I got shot. Or for a very long month after that," he jokes.

"I know but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to step up and parent the kids. You already had Danny and Scout and the breakup with Sam to deal with, that's a lot at once. Not to mention, taking over the business and grieving Sonny. And dealing with me. All at the same time," she smiles. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but you had no obligation to do any of that."

"Carly, do you think I'd be here right now if I didn't want to? You know me better than that. I love you and the kids and want to be there for all of you. So far, I've only gotten shot once and that was unrelated, so I'd consider this a pretty good experience."

The blonde scoffs at him and he chuckles. "Not funny. You could've died."

Rolling his eyes, he reminds her, "I didn't."

"Well you're not allowed to get shot for a long time."

"I'll take getting shot off of my to do list."

"Don't you dare joke about this!"

"Alright. Look at me. I'm not going to die anytime soon. I promise. It takes a lot more than a measly bullet to kill me, after all. Not even Russian madmen could do it," he says seriously.

"Good. Because if you do that to me again, I'll have no choice but to resign myself to a life in either prison or Ferncliff," she says half seriously, getting a laugh out of Jason.

It's not entirely unrealistic she'd end up in one of those positions, especially given that it's already happened. Repeatedly.

Maybe there's a sign she should stop doing dangerous things.

Almost as though she's being told to by something inside her, Carly connects her lips with his.

to be continued

why do i get myself into these things smh

[ataraxetta]

For the fic writer meme: what's your favorite thing you've written for FFXV? :)

For FFXV I think it would have to be this Gladio and Noctis grieving together moment from my fic Settling In. I like making them cry, apparently. I was just gonna paste the excerpt below but it turns out that it’s 2000 words, so under a cut!

——————-

Prompto stayed for another half hour, conversation much lighter, and by the time he left Noctis was still too run down to feel better, exactly, but he felt a lot less worse. He changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt, brushed his teeth, and crawled into bed, but despite how tired he was, sleep wouldn’t come. He couldn’t shut his mind off, the knee-jerk reaction to shove everything he didn’t want to think about down deep and forget about them warred with the better part of him that knew what he needed to do no matter how hard it was, dread heavy in his stomach.

There were a lot of things that had been gnawing at his conscience since they set out on this journey, but of all the things he had to feel guilty for, one stood out bigger and more powerful than the rest, and now that he’d been confronted with what a dick move his tendency to avoid painful things was, he knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep until he made things right. Or at least a little less wrong. It was time to face this worst of the monsters of his own making.

He got out of bed and crossed over to the door that adjoined his room to the one next to it, opened it as quietly as he could and slipped through. In hotels and inns Gladio always slept curled loosely on his side facing the open room, and when in a double bed like these ones, instead of sprawling out in the middle like the rest of them did he always chose the side closest to the main entrance, which was exactly how Noctis found him. He was too well-trained to have slept through someone coming into his room, but he pretended to be asleep anyway, staying still and breathing evenly as Noctis crawled over him to the empty side of the bed against the wall and slid under the covers.

Noctis settled comfortably on his back, not quite ready to break the silence. He closed his eyes and drifted into a light doze, until a thought struck him that he couldn’t ignore and he carefully nudged one of Gladio’s legs, frowning when his foot touched bare skin.

“You gonna tell me why the hell you’re waking me up at four in the morning, Noct?” Gladio said, finally giving up the game. He must have been asleep when Noctis came in though, because his voice was thick and a little slurred.

“You don’t sleep naked, do you?” Noctis asked suspiciously.

“Why, would that be awkward for you?”

“Yes,” Noctis said firmly.

Gladio snorted a sleepy laugh. “Don’t worry, I’ve still got boxers on,” he said. After a few seconds, he added, “Bet you wouldn’t mind it so much if you crawled into Iggy’s bed and found out he sleeps naked, though, huh?”

With a resigned sigh, Noctis took his foot back and turned onto his side facing Gladio’s broad back, and pulled his knees up toward his chest. He’d been hoping that Prompto was right about Gladio not having figured it out, but he’d known it was a longshot. Prompto was good at reading people, but Gladio was better. Prompto just hadn’t known him long enough yet to get how observant and intuitive Gladio really was, or how good he was at making people underestimate him.

Still, Noctis hadn’t expected it to come up now. When he didn’t reply, Gladio stretched and rolled onto his back, turning his head to see him. He had eyes just like his mom’s, a rare sort of golden brown that were vivid even in the dark, almost like a cat’s. Noctis had always liked them, because even though Gladio could be a hardass and liked to pretend he was stone cold, his eyes were always so warm that they gave him away.

“No foreplay at all with you, is there? Just straight up the ass without lube,” said Noctis.

“I didn’t know how else to bring the topic up. I took the open window.”

“Really?” Noctis said. “You couldn’t think of anything else?”

Gladio grinned, but it was nice, and tinged with apology. So was his voice. “Sorry I didn’t tell you about Eliana and Niko, and for kind of rubbing your face in it at the pub. I got it in my head that forcing it on you might, I don’t know, rip the bandaid off and cauterize the wound at the same time or something, but it was really just kind of crappy of me.”

In all their years as friends, Gladio had outright apologized to him maybe twice. Noctis figured he must have looked worse than he’d thought after they got back from dinner. “It’s okay. Really, don’t worry about it. It was a nice thought.”

“Yeah, road to hell and all that.” Gladio huffed a laugh, blinking slowly, still sleepy. After a bit he let his eyes stay closed. Noctis wanted to move closer to him but stopped himself. He regularly fell asleep on whoever was sitting in the back seat with him when they were in the car, which was most often Gladio, but it felt weird to try it in a bed, and when he was awake to know what he was doing. Gladio had turned the ceiling fan on high, which made sense considering he was like a human furnace, and the pull for the light was clanking against the glass cover. Noctis counted a hundred and fifty-six times before he got up the courage to speak.

“You asked why I woke you up,” he said, keeping his eyes firmly on the bit of comforter he was fiddling with nervously. “I was thinking about the day of the signing ceremony, and home, and my dad, and… and yours.”

Once it was out it felt like he was dangling over a ledge, the comfy atmosphere from only seconds ago gone. His heart pounded in his chest. Unable to bear not knowing, he glanced up to gauge Gladio’s reaction and couldn’t look away again once their eyes met. Every part of him hurt. He felt like everything he’d been trying to hold inside him was going to spill out even if it had to cut him open to do it, and he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth almost faster than he could think them. “I never told you - I never told you how sorry I am about Clarus, not like it was my fault but just - just that it happened. I wasn’t the only one who lost my dad that day.” His breath hitched, throat tightening painfully. “I’ve been moping around for months while you’ve been hauling my ass around and taking care of me and protecting me and trying to cheer me up, and I never even tried to like, offer condolences or ask if you needed anything or just tell you that he meant a lot to me too and he was a great man and that I wish you could’ve had more time with him. You didn’t even get to say goodbye. I should have told you as soon as it happened that I’m so…I’m so sorry he’s gone.”

His voice broke on the last word and he had to look away and take a shuddering breath, which was the only thing that stopped him from rambling on until the world ended. His stupid sniffle sounded so loud in the room. He wished the clanking on the fan was louder. Gladio was quiet, but it was more of a stunned silence than a cold or angry one, and when he did eventually speak his voice was soft with surprise.

“Noct,” he said. Noctis closed his eyes when he felt Gladio’s big hand rest on his head, thumb smoothing back the hair at his temple. “Have you been feeling guilty about that all this time? Hey, look at me.”

It was the least Noctis could do, and possibly the hardest thing he ever had. Gladio’s eyes were sad and wet, but his voice was even. “Do you really think I didn’t know all that? My old man helped raise you, you’ve grown up with him as much as I have. Of course I knew you were sorry. You didn’t have to tell me anything.” He cupped Noctis’s face in one hand and pushed his hair back to see his eyes. “God, look at you, this has been eating you alive, hasn’t it? You little idiot. C'mere.”

Before Noctis could even finish uncurling to obey Gladio was tugging him into his arms. He was a tactile guy, Noctis was used to being hugged by him, but he didn’t think he’d ever appreciated it as much as he did just then, and he clung to him hard, his fingers digging into Gladio’s back.

He wasn’t deluded enough to think that Clarus’s death had been somehow his fault, but as Clarus was to Regis, Gladio was to Noctis, and losing him in the name of the King of Lucis was a very real possibility, one that could take Noctis to his knees if he let himself think about. “I wanted to say something but I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t wanna think about you dying too.”

But that had been so selfish. Gladio was his friend, his brother. He’d deserved more while grieving his father than what Noctis had given him. Noctis pressed his face into Gladio’s neck, hiding, feeling too raw and exposed as a few tears slipped past his tightly-closed eyes and rolled down his cheeks. Gladio folded an arm around his shoulders and rubbed his back with the other hand, giving Noctis a couple minutes before shifting back and gripping his chin to make Noctis meet his eyes again. He had a few wet trails on his face too.

“My dad died protecting his king, and best friend, and his daughter and sons - biological or not, and Lucis, just like yours did,” Gladio said, pride in his voice. “You and I both know they wouldn’t have had it any other way.” He touched their foreheads together. “And you know I wouldn’t either. I’ll do everything in my power to make it all the way through this nightmare at your side, but if I don’t - Listen to me. If I die protecting you, know that it’s the only way I ever would have wanted to, and not because you’re the fucking king of Lucis.”

“Gladio,” Noctis said, breath hitching on a sob.

Gladio smiled and lifted his head to press a kiss to Noctis’s forehead, and then ruffled his hair and hugged him again, sniffing loudly, tears wetting Noctis’s hair. “Shit, It’s too fucking early for this, Noctis. Only you could have me blubbering like a baby in the middle of the goddamn night.”

Noctis laughed through more tears, which turned to quiet and embarrassing sobs that he muffled against Gladio’s shoulder as Gladio rubbed his back. The storm lasted a lot longer than he expected it to, and way longer than he wanted it to, expelling the toxins from the gaping hole that guilt had been tearing into him for months and flooding it with relief and at last the healthy, cathartic grief that he was only just now allowing himself to feel.

By the time he’d lapsed into quiet sniffling he was completely wrung out, halfway to asleep, and his limbs felt like they were made of lead. He was completely wiped, and Gladio was so warm and familiar and comfortable that there was no way in hell Noctis was moving. He fell asleep to the soothing sound of Gladio’s put-upon grumbling.