#how long do you think maddie and chimney make fun of buck's crush before going to sleep

[xiyade]

the face of the man who WILL be discussing this with his wife right before bed

[inawickedlittletown]

Alone Together - meta/review

This was such a good episode! I think while I thoroughly enjoyed 4x01 and the way that it got us back into the rhythm of things especially with, you know, a pandemic happening, 4x02 got us back into the usual balance of emergency and personal aspects. 

-

Spoilers below:

The episode begins with news coverage and it’s a good way to jump right into what’s happening and give us a recap to last week. And then we meet the three roommates. I can’t be bothered with remembering their names, but they were fun. The dynamic there is interesting and of course, this leads into some really awesome shots of the Hollywood sign breaking and the mudslide. The whole sequence is such a good opening for the episode and it sets our scene well. While I don’t have any complaints, this emergency is smaller scale to the tsunami and the earthquake of the past two season openings, but that isn’t much of a problem when we consider that they shot this in the middle of a pandemic. So, it works. 

What I found most interesting about this episode, and in a way how it continues the stories that were begun in 4x01, is that we delve further into the personal. Not every character is featured heavily, but we get small and big moments with all of them. 

Athena: 

The struggle that Athena has faced since the end of last season has been handled so well. Her trauma and how it lingers on her and yet doesn’t change how strong and fierce and amazing she is, is amazing to watch. It’s inspiring. Having Athena be right in the midst of everything especially when she wasn’t supposed to be just fits so perfectly. Having her contrast with Sylvia who is afraid of leaving her own house, and having Athena rescue Sylvia and herself and not give up, not even when the voice of dispatch was her daughter asking her to save herself. I just love Athena so damn much. She went through a journey in this episode and while I don’t think that her trauma is over, I think she will push herself to move forward and move past it. If not just for herself, then for May. 

I also really appreciated that we got a moment where Athena gives her approval of David by telling Michael that David looks tired. It was such a nice touch. The Athena and Michael relationship has been developed so well from S1, to a place where they are both with other people but can still be family. 

And finding out that May made the choice to be a dispatcher over going to school to be about her mom felt absolutely right and I feel so much for both of them and both sides, but I do have to say that May’s outlet for her lack of control in her life/the life of her loved ones is at least healthy and it’s making a difference. 

Lastly, I will never not be fond of Bobby and Athena — the way that Bobby was allowed to go search for her personally and that moment when they saw each other. His promise to always search for her. After everything Bobby went through during Athena’s attack, it’s easy to think about how difficult this was for Bobby. 

Chimney:

The other big focus of this episode was Chimney. 4x01 set up the living arrangements and it was immediately apparent that while Chimney had his reasons, that he didn’t need to be as set on that. After all we’re told that both Eddie and Hen went back home to their kids, so Chim should have gone home to Maddie and his unborn baby. 

It’s nice that we begin this conversation with Buck and Chim, instead of directly involving Maddie. We already know how Maddie feels about this — she misses Chim and wants him around. 

Chim’s joke about his “bad joke” being a “dad joke” was perfectly in line with his type of humor and it set us up for the conversation to come in which we learn that Chim’s whole problem is not just concern about the pandemic, but a deeper fear that he won’t be a good parent. His convo with Buck certainly offers some insight into his worry, but also the willingness that Chim has to do absolutely anything necessary for his baby, whose gender the characters and us, the viewers, don’t get to know yet. 

The rescues that Chimney and Buck end up going on begin with Chimney — not Buck — hearing a baby crying. And just like with Athena, the emergency itself gives Chim more insight into himself and into his situation and into what he needs to do. He rescues the baby, finds a bunch of pregnant ladies, and then goes on to deliver a baby and while talking to the mother, I think Chim finally gets to understand what the importance that being present for Maddie means. 

We get a very sweet moment where Maddie arrives home and finds Chimney already there and the whole thing is just emotional enough both from Chimney’s perspective of just how pregnant Maddie is and Maddie’s surprise and joy to have him there with her. They really are the sweetest together. And by the time that we’re in the closing parts of the episode and we see Maddie and Chimney on a video call with the new roommates — uncles to be Buck and Albelt, it’s clear that they’re settled together and happy and that Chimney knows better than to argue about coffee. 

Hen:

Ms. Henrietta Wilson knows how to emote with her eyes. We first see her reactions to Chimney’s bad joke and just her general demeanour and it’s all perfect, and then gets better when she’s reacting to Bobby’s facts about the Hollywood sign. In a liveblog post I said this was very Buck and I stand by it. Not just the rattling of facts, but the need to research a new place in some way. 

But where it gets good is when we see Hen in the middle of the drama among the roommates. Hen does so much with just a slight widening of her eyes, or a look in a certain direction. The timing is absolutely perfect and is practically alone in making that scene funny. 

Other than these small moments we don’t get much of Hen in this episode, but we do get the sweetest moment towards the end where we get to see Hen and Karen’s daughter, Nia. Not only is this little girl adorable, but with just a couple of lines, I’m sure she’s stolen every viewer’s heart. And to add to this, the love and pride that Karen feels for Hen radiates. I cannot wait for the show to go further into Hen’s experiences on her road to becoming a doctor. 

Bobby:

Bobby mostly plays the part of a secondary character to everyone else’s story. We see plenty of him and we learn that he’s the one with facts about the Hollywood sign. Mostly, I enjoyed that he played a part in finding Athena and I think it was an interesting choice to have him keep his composure and be professional. In some ways this relates to May and the conversation that May has with Maddie about the need to put feelings and personal stuff aside to do the job. And yet we know that after what Athena has recently gone through, that none of that could have been easy for Bobby. 

Eddie: 

Very little Eddie once more. I’m honestly not concerned about it to be honest. I’ve seen a lot of talk about how little he shows up in promo stuff and all that, but I just think it’s important to remember that this is an ensemble show with a rather large cast and that it’s entirely possible focus on his character will come in other episodes. And to consider that he’s one of the characters that was chosen for the cross-over. 

But we did get to see minor Buck and Eddie interaction, and more importantly we got to see Eddie and Christopher. 

And I think it was so important to bring Carla in, even over video, because she really is a huge part of Chris’ life. It does lead to the question of who is taking care of Christopher while Eddie is at work? How is school being handled for him? And it was just so lovely to see Eddie fall asleep at a bedtime story too. 

Buck: 

He is just so damn smart. Who would have thought to follow the feedback to find that baby? Buck is the kind of character that takes in the variables and finds a way to problem solve. He’s the kind of smart that you want and need in a crisis. And he’s also very cognizant of what’s going on with Chimney and his sister enough to be able to try and get through to Chimney about how he needs to move back home. I just love the consistency of having Buck be research crazy, quick to figure things out, and still at times a dumbass. It’s what makes him so perfect. 

I also appreciate that he’s called out for having too many rules by Albert and I just want to know all about the rules that Buck would impose on those staying at his place other than the sharing of chores that is mentioned in the episode. 

I’m also very curious about Buck and his therapist, the covid crush that literally everyone on the internet scoffed at and figured out even before last week’s episode aired. We were all right. It was fun to see all the crazy theories, though. But I do find it interesting that Buck feels he needs to hide the therapist from everyone because that isn’t really about what he and the therapist might be talking about, as much as it is about not wanting to be judged for needing a therapist. 

And his feelings are absolutely valid. Not because I think anyone in the 118, or Maddie, will judge him for needing it, but that they do sometimes her pushy with things and wanting to know more — we see that already with the covid crush thing — but I think it’s also to do with not wanting to explain himself and all of this is even more valid with the knowledge that we have about Buck’s parents showing up. 

But, the fandom at large has wanted Buck to talk to a professional for a long time, so I think we’re all very happy that he’s getting help. And I’m also very glad that we got the reveal in this episode and it wasn’t drawn out and made out to be something it isn’t for much longer. 

Dr. Copeland. They really know how to pick names on 9-1-1, don’t they? 

But of the small clip we get to see of her, it is clear that she is helping Buck and Buck begins the therapy session we get to see by admitting that Dr. Copeland might be right about him hiding his true feelings and Buck, holy hell, what does that mean?

Because, it could literally mean anything. It could be about his sexuality and discovery about his romantic feelings about a fellow firefighter. Or it could be that it’s about how much of himself he hides away or doesn’t present to the world in light of, you know, all the trauma that he’s faced and that we’ve all wanted addressed. This could also tie in some way to his past and that doesn’t have to take away from possible reveals about his sexuality. Mostly, it just makes me more and more excited for Buck Begins. 

Overall, an excellent episode. I love the things it touches upon and how the show isn’t steering directly into a deep focus on covid and instead giving us these moments of things have changed and this is how it is now from seeing everyone in masks, to seeing Hen going to her class online, and even down to Buck’s therapy happening over a screen. It is excellently handled when it comes to David and Michael and not only in the confirmation that they are living together in spite of the possible contact with the virus, but in how we see them handle that. Michael taking care of his man. All of that was lovely. 

The episode closed out on an amazing note, giving us these momentary glimpses into where everyone is and their familial spaces and the love and acceptance felt there and all the small tidbits and hints at what may be coming up. 

[lonely-writer]

Buck x OC

OC’s reaction to buck getting crushed by the fire truck.

OOF Anon craves violence! Hope this suits your needs!

Pairing: Evan "Buck" Buckley x OC, Evan "Buck" Buckley x Ali Martin

Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Original Female Character, Maddie Buckley, Captain Bobby Nash, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han, Eddie Diaz, Ali Martin, Athena Grant-Nash

Tags: Angst, Near death experiences, Traumatizing experiences, Mentions of bombs, Swearing, Hurt/Comfort, Love confessions, Unrequited love...or is it, Mentions of past abuse, Jealousy, Survivor's guilt, Slight character bashing

TW: Mentions of bombs, Mentions of past abuse

Notes: I had a lot of fun writing this and I may or may not include this in my S.O.S fic.

It's nearly twelve when Raven's phone rings, she's already in bed and not expecting anyone to call. She's especially not expecting Maddie to call her.

"Maddie, what's-" She groggily begins whilst rubbing at her eyes, a strangled sob immediately has her blood running cold. Wide awake now her instincts start working on overtime, "Hey, hey, hey. I'm here, talk to me. Are you okay? Are you having nightmares again, do you want me to come over?" She quickly asks although without waiting for an answer she's already out of bed.

"R-Raven it's not me- I..it's Buck. There was a bomb- it was on the truck-" Maddie explains through heartbroken sobs, it hits her hard. The wind feels knocked out of her as she steadies herself against her closet doors. She takes a few deep breaths as the weight of the situation came crashing down on her.

Right. The bombs. The bombs that had been going off all across the city. The bombs that had everyone worried. The bomb's that had been mostly targeting bureaucratic figures- so why the hell had the fucking 118 been targeted? None of this made sense but none of that mattered right now.

What mattered was that Buck had been caught in one of the bombings and now he was hurt- god was he even still alive? What if he- no. No thinking like that. She swallows back the vile and tears that threaten to consume her, she needs to be strong right now. "Is he still...?" She begins though the words die in her throat- is he still trapped?

"No, no they got him- he's okay. He's on the way to the hospital, I-I'm on my way there but I figured that someone should tell you- oh god Raven..what if he doesn't make it..what if-" Maddie begins to spiral in a panic.

"Maddie. Deep breathes okay? In and out." Raven instructs leading through example taking a few breaths herself hoping to calm herself down before continuing, "He's going to be alright, he's in good hands, he's Buck. He can get through this." Even as the words of encouragement leave her she's not really certain of who she's trying to convince.

It takes her awhile to get to the hospital- turns out a bomb blowing up a firetruck in the middle of the city creates a huge traffic jam. Who knew. As soon as she's through those emergency room doors Maddie practically tackles her into a hug, she's still crying and understandably upset her younger brother was just nearly killed. That thought terrifies Raven- Buck has been there for her so many times, with Julia and Mike, with her parents, and to think that she nearly lost him. To think that he could have died? Without telling him-

Ali catches her eye as she's trying to console Maddie and a wave of guilt washes over her, she's probably wondering why Raven's even here, she's not related nor are they dating so really she's just a concerned friend. Who doesn't belong here. Brushing those thoughts off she gets up to speed with the situation, apparently this all stemmed from a very old grudge and an old call that Bobby and Athena had both been involved in.

The serial bomber had sent a package to Athena's personal address and one had been placed on the ladder truck intended for Bobby with Buck becoming the unintentional target, his leg had been caught under the truck effectively crushing it. Thank fucking god that the 118 was okay and there to help. Thank fucking god that he's okay. Or at least she hopes that he's okay.

When the doctor comes the first person who goes back is Maddie, she's his only blood relative in the hospital. Next is Bobby and Athena, although they're not his real parents they certainly act like it, followed by Hen, Chimney, and Eddie. Every time someone comes back they all hold the same look: it should have been me instead.

Small talk has never been her strong suit but she tries her best as visitors come and go, she offers a shoulder to cry on, she listens and consoles those who are afraid, she doesn't mind -really it's the least she can do. In all honesty she's just biding her time, but for what? Practically everyone has visited Buck except for...her and Ali. It feels like a stalemate just waiting for that final snap of tensions- who's going to get up and see him first?

If Raven gets up first then here comes the shit-storm of non-stop bashing from Ali, but then again if Ali gets up first then Maddie's going to come over and offer her that look. Turns out telling your best-friend's sister how you feel is quite possibly the worst thing ever because she will often hold that over your head. As if sensing the tension between the two of them Athena clears her throat quirking up an eyebrow, she's not leaving it up to them anymore, the night has been long and the last thing anyone wants is a catfight.

Compromise it is.

They both stand simultaneously, eyeing the other with a deep sense of caution or distrust or something. The walk to Buck's room is tense and silent, it's not that Raven doesn't like Ali- although it certainly feels as though Ali doesn't like her- she just hasn't spent a lot of time to get to know her so she doesn't have much to go on....besides the strange amount of hostility from her. She gets that feeling of guilt again but manages to push it back once again.

Buck is deep asleep when they enter the room, not surprising given the amount of pain killing drugs the hospital has given him, and for that Raven is thankful. It makes the ache of seeing him, hurt and vulnerable, burn just a little bit less. Ali, on the other hand, just breaks when she sees him. She begins sobbing again, practically inconsolable- Raven does try, awkwardly putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, "He's going to be okay." She tries.

Wrong choice of words it seems as Ali shakes her head before she's backing out of the room and bolting down the hallway completely overwhelmed. Briefly she can see a flash of something on her face before she's out the door, this isn't something that she ever expected to see and she hadn't been ready for it. Raven sits in the chair by Buck's bedside and sighs quietly.

"So...I don't know if you can really hear me or not, not that you're in a coma or anything- wow I'm bad at this. Anyways um...I need you to be okay, alright? Tonight....it fucking sucks because you, you could have died and I don't know what I'd do without you Buck. You are so amazing, you're brave, you're sweet, you're a cocky-hard headed son of a bitch but god I-" Her voice breaks as the emotional toll weighs down on her, "I love that. I love you. So you have to be alright."

[evanbuckley-heartofgold]

I totally get it no worries! What about Bobby getting hurt in the bomber episode? (Saw you sharing the gif set haha)

Sorry this took me so long, but I really wanted to get this right! I had so much fun writing this and I hope you enjoy it!

Bobby feels like he’s in a nightmare. 

The second he realizes the bomb would be in the firehouse, he began to imagine all of the ways that this could end. He hadn’t thought of this one. 

Buck is laying in the street battered and bloody with an entire ladder truck on top of his leg. Other firefighters were thrown from the truck and are laying on the pavement. Freddie stands in the middle of it all, bomb strapped to his chest. Bobby watches as Chimney steps forward as Freddie asks for the captain, his arms raised above his head.

He knows before Freddie says it that Chimney isn’t the captain he’s looking for. He has to do what he needs to do to protect his family. 

“I love you,” Bobby whispers into Athena’s ear as he pushes past the police forming a barricade and into the intersection, ignoring their calls after him. This is his responsibility, now he has to pay up and keep Buck and the rest of his crew safe.

“Freddie,” Bobby calls, getting the boy’s attention.

He turns around and faces Bobby, a manic crazy in his eyes. “Thought you’d be on the truck.” 

“I’m here now.” Bobby cast a glance down at Buck, he’s looking worse and worse by the second. “What’s next? Is this what you wanted?

“I wanted you dead.”

“I get that, but what about them.” Bobby forces himself to focus, it doesn’t matter what happens to him, he’s got to protect his firefighters. “What about him?” Bobby nods at Buck who looks up at him in pain. “He’s got parents, a sister, a girlfriend and he never did anything to you. He wasn’t even a firefighter when your father burned down that restaurant.”

“Collateral damage.” Freddie doesn’t even look at Buck. 

“Is that how you see yourself?” Bobby takes a step forward. “An unintended victim in all this?” Another step.

“Stop!” Freddie tightens his grip on the trigger. Bobby freezes, eyes flashing to the bomb. “One more step, we all go boom.”

“Freddie, you got dealt a bad hand and I am sorry about that,” Bobby treads carefully now. The bomb is going to go off, he just needs to get it far enough away from Buck. “But what you did with it, that’s a choice. You stopped being a victim the moment you left that first bomb.”

“That lawyer she-”

“Did her job,” Bobby cuts in. “We were all doing our jobs.”

“Destroying my family,” Freddie spits. “My mom and I lost everything. She was in so much pain.”

“Wanna make it worse? You wanna make her watch you die?” Bobby sees Athena and another police officer leading Freddie’s mother into the intersection. Athena makes worried eye contact with him, but he shakes his head minutely and quickly mouths, I’m sorry.

“Mom...” 

While Freddie is distracted, Bobby grabs him from behind, trying to wrestle the trigger out of his hand. “No!” Freddie struggles with him and Bobby can feel his finger inching closer and closer to the button. 

He’s not getting out of this alive, not if it’s a choice between him and his firefighters. He holds on tight to Freddie as he uses all of his strength to propel them away from the truck. He swings a leg into Freddie’s knee, making him collapse onto the ground with Bobby still holding onto him. He hears Athena and Chimney and Buck and everyone shout as Freddie presses the trigger and the world goes black.

...

Chimney watches in horror as the bomb explodes, engulfing Freddie and Bobby. He watches his captain thrown a few feet into the air, landing on the ground with a sickening smack. Buck screams hoarsely. 

Then he’s running. He sprints towards them, Eddie and Hen on his heels. 

“Chim, you get Buck, Eddie and I’ll check on Bobby,” Hen tells him. 

He nods quickly and veers right. Buck looks up as he comes closer and it looks a lot worse up close. Chimney shakes off that thought and kneels down next to Buck. His friend groans in pain. Blood covers the left side of Buck’s face, seeming to come from somewhere on his head, but tears carved their way through it and form a puddle on the ground. 

“Bobby...” Buck breathes, clearly struggling through his pain to make words. 

“Hen and Eddie are looking after him,” Chimney tells him. “I need you to focus, okay? How are you feeling?”

“Kinda numb,” Buck tells him. He can see that Buck isn’t looking at him, but instead past him to where Hen and Eddie are. He carefully positions himself so Buck can’t see them anymore. 

Chim reaches down and feels his pulse. It’s fast and his breathing seems to be shallow. “Just hang in there, Buckaroo.” He spares a quick glance at Eddie and Hen and the other paramedics on the scene attending to Bobby and Freddie. “I need hands over here!” He shouts. Two paramedics and firefighters rush over. “Probable crush injury,” he tells them quickly. “We need to get this truck off of him. He presses on his radio, “This is Captain 118, I need all available hands to move this truck and clear a path to the nearest trauma center.”

No response. 

They’re running out of time. 

Bobby and Buck are dying in the street. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Hen running with a stretcher, Bobby on top of it. That gives him a little hope, Bobby’s not gone yet. He catches a flash of white and sees Eddie pulling a white sheet over Freddie’s body. 

“Eddie!” He shouts. “I need help over here.” 

He looks up and immediately runs over to Chim, eyes intense. “What can I do?” 

“I need you to help lift the truck so I can pull him out.” Eddie nods and quickly grabs on to the truck. 

Chimney crouches down beside Buck again. “Bobby?” Buck asks. 

“He’s on his way to the hospital. I need you to hold still, try not to move.” He looks up at Eddie and nods. 

“Lift on three!” Eddie shouts. “One, two, three!” 

The firefighters and paramedics use all their strength to push the truck up. Buck screams in agony, tears streaming down his face. But they’re not strong enough the truck slams back down the few inches it had been lifted, making Buck cry out again. 

“We need more people,” Eddie tells him hopelessly. “There’s no way we can lift this alone.”  

Chimney nods, “Dispatch, this is Captain 118, we-” 

Before he can finish, the bystanders push past the police barricades and run to them. Chimney has never been a praying man, but as everyone puts a hand on the truck and Eddie counts down, he prays that this will work and that this will free his friend. 

This night has been hard enough for them all. 

Edie tightens his grip on Buck’s arms. Buck cries, biting his lip, as the truck is slowly lifted off his foot. Every second Chimney has to wait pains him, but finally, there is enough space for Chimney to drag Buck out from the truck. The truck crashes to the ground and Eddie helps Chimney get Buck onto a stretcher and rushed into the ambulance. 

The last thing Chimney sees before the doors slam shut is blood on the pavements reflecting the flashing lights. 

…

Buck wakes up slowly. He feels floaty, almost like he’s not completely solid. Everything around him is warm and soft. He hears the murmur of voices, but can’t understand any words. Then he feels a soft kiss on his forehead and he sinks right back into sleep. 

When Buck wakes up again he feels more grounded. He digs his fingers into the stiff sheets underneath him and exhales as he forces his eyes open. Blinking a few times to adjust to the brightness, Buck sees someone standing above him. She has tears in her eyes as she smiles down at him. 

“Maddie?” He breathes out. “How long have I been out?” 

“A few days.” 

Buck looks down at himself and finds his left leg in a thick white cast. “The ladder truck?” Buck asks. She nods and a second later he’s holding his crying sister in his arms. His thoughts immediately go to Bobby. The bomb exploded and Bobby was right next to it. Maddie’s crying that must mean… 

Maddie sits up and wipes her tears away with her thumb, “I’m sorry. You’re the one in the hospital bed, I shouldn’t be such a mess.” 

Buck shakes his head and takes a deep breath, “Is Bobby…”

“No, oh my gosh I should have said that first. He’s stable.” Buck exhales a dramatic sigh of relief. “The doctors think he has a good chance of making a full recovery. He’s not awake yet, but they’re hopeful.” 

“How?” Buck asks. “He-He was right next to the bomb.” 

“Call it a miracle,” Maddie smiles. 

“Can I see him?” Buck asks.

“I’ll go ask the doctor,” she pats his hand. “And I need to call Chim, they all got called into work so I’ll let them know that you’re okay.” 

“Thank you,” Buck says as Maddie gets up. She smiles down at him and then kisses his forehead, just like she used to do when he was little. 

Fifteen minutes later, Maddie comes back with a nurse and a wheelchair. The nurse helps Buck out of bed and then starts pushing him towards Bobby’s room. 

Once he’s inside, Buck feels like he can’t breathe. Bobby is laying on the bed, thick gauze covering what Buck can see of his chest as well as some of his forehead. His arms are burned and red, but his chest is rising and falling evenly. That’s what Buck forces himself to focus on. 

And in the chair beside the bed is Athena she looks up at him when the door opens and gives him a sad smile, “You’re a sight for sore eyes, Buckaroo.” 

“Hi,” Buck says. “Um, can I sit with you?”

“Of course, honey,” Athena shifts her chair to give Buck room for the wheelchair to fit. “I think he’ll be glad to know you’re okay.” Buck leans his head on her shoulder and she takes his hand.  “I hope you know that once you’re both out of the hospital, neither of you are leaving my sight until you’re better again,” Athena tells him. 

Buck smiles, “You might have to fight Maddie on that one.” 

“She’ll give in,” Athena says. Buck takes a deep breath as Athena rubs her thumb over his knuckles. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay.” He looks down at his leg, “It doesn’t hurt so much.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

Buck sits with Athena for as long as the doctors let him. Eventually, he has to go back to his own room and get looked over again.

Come the next morning, he’s back in Bobby’s room. This time Athena isn’t there, probably because she has to get her kids to school. Buck sits quietly at Bobby’s side, lost in his thoughts. He is pulled out of them by a groan. Bobby shifts on the mattress, his eyes still closed. 

He makes a soft humming sound and then Bobby’s eyes slowly open and he looks right at Buck. “Evan?” Bobby’s voice is dry and scratchy. Buck nods, pretending not to notice Bobby calling him by his given name. “You’re okay?” 

“Yeah,” Buck smiles. “I’m okay. Not as bad as you. I’m not trying to be mean, but you look like shit, Bobby.” 

Bobby rolls his eyes, “Not even a minute after I wake up and you’re already ribbing me?” 

Buck shrugs, “It’s what I do best.” Bobby laughs gently and the two fall into silence for a moment. But something is weighing on Buck’s mind. “Why did you stay? Why didn’t you run as soon as he pushed the trigger?” 

Bobby smiles and reaches out to touch Buck’s hand, “I had to get him away from you. You didn’t deserve to get any more hurt because of my mistakes. If I hadn’t then you would have been in the blast radius. I did what I knew would keep you safe.” 

Buck bites his lip, “You have Athena and May and Harry, you-you could have died trying to protect me, you almost did.” 

“It would have been worth it,” Bobby squeezes Buck’s hand. “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I failed another one of my kids. You’re really important to me, Buck. What kind of parent would I be if I stood by and watched you get hurt because of me?” 

His kid. Buck can’t deny that it doesn’t make his heart soar to hear that. He’s never really been anyone’s kid, his parents didn’t love him and he never had anyone who loved him that way until he met Bobby. Buck can’t stop himself from leaning forward and embracing Bobby as much as he can, crying into his neck. 

“Bobby… I...” Buck can’t get all the words he wants to say out, they’re stuck in his throat.

“I know, kid,” Bobby runs a hand over the back of his head. “We’re okay.” Bobby lets Buck stay like that for a few minutes before Buck sits up and quickly dries his tears with the back of his hand. Bobby smiles at him, “I feel like we’re going to be spending a lot of time together for the foreseeable future, so why don’t we just save the rest of the emotional talks for later, and right now just be happy that we’re both alive to tell the tale.”

Buck smiles through his tears, “Sounds good to me.”

[wild-springflower]

Do or Die

My own take on the follow-up to the tsunami everyone is doing. I haven’t seen the episode yet, or even any promos so, this is just what my head came up with!

“Captain Nash, Captain Nash do you have a copy?” 

A strong female voice cut through the din of their surroundings and Bobby was quick to pick up his radio, not sure what he was needed for. In this type of emergency, it could be literally anything. “Go for Captain Nash.”

“Sir, I have a gentleman here that is asking for you, he’s pretty insistent.” 

 Bobby sighed, they really didn’t have time for this, not in the middle of a disaster. “Look, my team is pretty swamped down here, he’ll just have to wait.”

“He said to tell you his name is Evan Buckley, that he works with you?”

Bobby felt a flash of rage course through him, he loved that kid to bits he really did, but he never learned. “Swear to god,” He grumbled, before picking the radio back up, “Ma’am, yes he works for me, but right now he is on leave due to an outstanding injury and should not be working at all, so you tell him to stop what he’s doing and go home immediately or he will be seriously reprimanded-”

“I’m sorry Captain, you misunderstood. Mr. Buckley isn’t here helping with the tsunami, he was in it.”

“He was what?”

“Yeah, I’m transporting him to the triage center now, but he’s been asking you to meet him there.”

           Bobby felt his heartbeat spike, using all his years of training to keep his breathing under control. “Okay, we’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Chimney halted in his search through the water, tagging bodies as they went, and glanced at the captain warily, having been close enough to hear the whole conversation.

Bobby nodded once, as an offer of reassurance, no matter how pitiful it may have been, before turning to the rest of his firefighters. “Alright team, drop what you’re doing here, we have somewhere else we need to be right now.”

Hen sat up and gave Bobby a quizzical look, “What do you mean?”

“We have to go the triage center; Buck was caught in the tsunami.”

“Oh my god.” Hen breathed, shock and fear coating her voice.

Eddie’s feet halted in his steady progress back, staggering and nearly falling over completely. “What?” 

“I don’t know much, but he was cognizant enough to tell them who he was and have them contact us.” Bobby tried to soothe some of the fear and tension he could so clearly feel.

Eddie just shook his head, having trouble keeping himself calm enough to make sense and get his point across clearly, “No, Christopher was with Buck today. Did they say anything about a little boy, is he okay?” The team fell deathly silent, and Eddie stared for a moment with wide eyes before his frustration and fear got the better of him, “Bobby is my son okay!” He shouted.

Bobby held his hands up in a calming gesture, his voice cool and collected, “They didn’t say anything specific, but let’s get in the boat and head over there right now. We’ll get you to Christopher Eddie.”

Hen offered a hand, basically guiding Eddie into their little boat and forcing him into a seat. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t think of anything past the pounding fear in his heart; it was debilitating. He was terrified for his son, and worried about his best friend as well. And on top of that he felt a bone crushing guilt. The two of them were only out because he had pushed Buck to get out, to get some fresh air and have a little fun. He’d been so down and gloomy, Eddie had just figured him spending time with Christopher was a good way to lighten his spirits. If anything had happened to either of them, it would be his fault. The boat lurched forward, water spraying in his face as they booked it back to the emergency triage center that had been set up in the wake of this disaster, but Eddie barely noticed. They had to be okay, they both had to be okay; Eddie couldn’t even begin to think about what he would do if they weren’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When he’d been pinned under the truck, with no means of escape and a psycho with a bomb strapped to their chest standing over him, Buck thought that was the scardest he could ever be. And then the wave came, and he lost Christopher.

Logically, he’d known he wasn’t going to be able to keep a hold of the kid, not with the force of all that water slamming into them, but the first few minutes after he resurfaced that Christopher wasn’t in his arms were some of the worst in his life. He had felt his heart bottom out in fear, desperation coloring his tone as he screamed, begging to hear a response.

And he’d gotten one. Obviously, their situation hadn’t been ideal, they’d just been struck by a tsunami for goodness sake, but at least they were together. At least he knew Christopher was safe. 

And then the wave reversed, receding with almost as much force as it had attacked with, and Buck had to wonder who up there had such a sick sense of humor because he was really getting tired of being in such horrible situations. Yes, he knew how ironic that sentiment was coming from a firefighter, but there was a certain amount of detachment when he wasn’t the one being crushed by a truck or searching for a loved one after a disaster.

He’d turned his back for a minute, just a minute, to try and help some of the people begging to be saved as they were swept out to sea, and when he turned back around, and his eyes didn’t immediately see the bright shirt or sun reflecting off the glasses, he’d literally begun to panic. 

Buck didn’t even spare a second to be mad at the rest of the people on the truck, because how could they have let him fall into the water? How could they not see Buck had been trying to save other people? How could they have not taken just one moment to be responsible for someone other than themselves? Because if he thought on that too long, he sunk deeper into self-loathing; he was the one who was supposed to be responsible for Chris. He shouldn’t have let Chris out of his sight, he’d let Chris fall in the water.

The fear from earlier was nothing compared to the raw terror he was feeling then, shouting desperately, on the verge of hysteria, as he continued to get nothing in response. No shout of his name, no flash of orange and white in the water, nothing. Christopher was just gone, in the span of less than a minute his best friend’s son had disappeared.

And it was all his fault.

Buck did his best to keep his breathing under control, the last thing he needed was to get lightheaded and pass out in the water, he was close enough just shouting at the top of his lungs. He knew he was feeling fatigued, the multiple trips into the water having really done a number on his newly healed leg. But he couldn’t let himself feel that, not yet anyway. There would be a time and a place to feel. 

“Christopher!” He screamed again, his throat cracking with the effort. He thought he maybe tasted blood, but chose to ignore that fact, hoping if there was blood it was just from vocal cords being rubbed raw and abused by saltwater. 

Something heavy and hard collided with his leg, his healthy one thankfully, but the shock of it still pulled him under the water. Buck surfaced sputtering, wiping water out of his eyes as he tried to regain some semblance of control in the raging wave. It had been a while since his feet had been able to touch any sort of hard surface, let along the ground.

Buck looked around again, wide eyes stinging, when he caught a glimpse of a familiar pair of red glasses. His stomach, which had been resting somewhere low in his stomach since he’d first realized Christopher was no longer on the fire truck, fell the rest of the way down to his feet. 

Fighting against the current, Buck swam over and grabbed the glasses, which had been snagged against some debris, tightly in his hand. “No no no no.” He whirled around, combing the area and praying; he’d been doing more of that recently. Until Maddie had gone missing, he hadn’t really sent up a prayer in years, but he’d prayed then, and it had worked, they’d found Maddie alive. And then he’d prayed again, when his leg had been crushed under the symbol of his dreams and aspirations, and it seemed to have worked then too, because he was still alive. So, he prayed again, prayed harder than he ever had in his life, he needed to find Christopher alive. He couldn’t do that to Eddie. 

The kid had to be somewhere close, at least, that’s what Buck was hoping. “Christopher!” He called, pausing when the need to cough became too great. “Chris buddy I need you to make some noise if you can hear me!” Buck stopped, treading water to the best of his ability and scanning the area, “Please hear me.” He whispered, blinking back against the sting of tears. He was surrounded by enough saltwater at the moment, he really didn’t need to be adding more, not to mention he was almost definitely dehydrated. 

Faintly, he heard what sounded like metal on metal. His eyes widened and he spun around, trying to quell the threads of hope, because there had been a tsunami, of course debris was going to be making noise. “Christopher?” He called, moving towards where the sound seemed most prominent. “Christopher is that you?”

“Buck?”

Buck was pretty sure that one little call of his name added ten years back to his life, and he nearly sagged with relief. “Christopher!” As quickly as he was able Buck swam through the water, to where he saw a little hand reaching up from behind what had probably been part of the pier at one point. Now it served as a makeshift raft, where Christopher was holding onto the wood tightly, knuckles white and arms shaking, whether from exertion or fear though Buck couldn’t be sure. 

Either way, the kid looked just as relieved as he felt, and quickly launched off the floating debris and into his arms. “Christopher, holy shit don’t ever do that to me again.” Buck wrapped him up in his own arms, holding tight and burying his face in Christopher’s hair, planting a soft kiss against it, and vowing to never let that boy out of his arms ever again.

“Dad says that’s a naughty word. We aren’t supposed to say naughty words.”

Buck chuckled, pulling Chris back to try and look him over for any obvious injuries, “My apologies, let’s not tell your dad about that huh?”

Chris smiled almost playfully, “What do we tell him from this?”

“Well, I suppose nothing isn’t an option. How about we leave out the scariest bits okay?”

Chris laughed, “Yeah okay.” Then his little hands were reaching up and brushing against his face, which Buck was only realizing now was slick with tears. “Why are you crying?”

“What this?” Buck tried to laugh it off, smiling as big as he could, “Nah, that’s just water buddy, no tears here.”

“I just have water too.” Christopher said, leaning back and looking towards the sky, still smiling, his own eyes bright with ‘not-tears’. 

Buck laughed again, he probably sounded crazy, but he was just so relieved. He pulled Christopher back up against his chest and squeezed, taking a moment to calm his breathing and let his heart settle back down to a slightly less worrisome rhythm. At least he no longer felt like he was about to go into cardiac arrest. “Oh hey, I have something of yours.” Buck said, just remembering the glasses. He held them up where Chris could see them and watched as the boy smiled excitedly.

“My glasses!” He cried, he reached out a hand to grab them, but left the other where it was, holding a chunk of Buck’s shirt in a vice-grip. 

Buck sniffed and adjusted his position so he could help Chis put the glasses back over his eyes, still smiling and laughing softly. 

“Now what?” Christopher whispered; little arms tucked back around Buck’s neck.

“Uh, that is an excellent question buddy. Now we figure something out, I’m gonna get you outta here.”

“Yeah, I’m a little sick of the water now.”

“Only a little?”

Chris smiled and nodded, “Only a little.”

Buck shook his head with a breathy laugh, he took one more minute to cradle Christopher’s head against his shoulder, fingers rubbing gentle circles in the sopping wet hair, before his firefighter brain took over, telling him they had to get moving. They had to find help soon, because Buck was definitely beginning to feel the effects of the tsunami. “Okay kiddo, here’s the plan, you’re gonna slide around and ride on my back while I swim through this mess.”

“Like a monkey?”

“Yeah, just like a monkey Monkey.” Buck tickled Chris’ stomach just enough to get the kid to giggle, “Think you can do that?”

“Roger that Team Leader.” Christopher nodded strongly, already adjusting his grip so he could move.

Neither of them really let go of the other, which made the process of Christopher moving to his back slow-going, but slow and steady won the race, or at least got them into their desired position. Then they began their painful shuffle through the gradually falling water. Buck could tell it was getting more shallow, but not enough to make much of a difference at the moment.

He kept swimming, just like he and Christopher had talked about earlier, just like Dory. The burn in his arms, the uncomfortable wrenching in his leg that hinted at what could potentially be a worsening injury, he ignored all of it, pushed it to the back of his mind and locked it in a box, throwing the key away with the tsunami. Buck didn’t have much energy for talking however, so the two spent a vast part of their journey in silence. Christopher seemed content to simply be hugging Buck tightly anyway, and Buck knew that pressure against his back was all he needed to keep himself going.  

“Hey,” A gentle pat against his cheek drew Buck’s attention, “Do you hear that?” Christopher asked.

Buck shook water out of his face and paused a moment, listening. It took a moment, but sure enough after a few seconds of straining, his ears picked up on what sounded like a motor. He’d been so focused on moving in the direction of land that the possibility of running into other rescue operations hadn’t even crossed his radar. “Hey!” He shouted, although the sound didn’t carry far with how raw his vocal cords were. He tried waving his arms but all that accomplished was an uncomfortable mouthful of water that left him coughing.

“Hello!” Christopher shouted, a little louder than Buck had been able to manage.

“Keep shouting buddy, wave your arms around a bit, I’m gonna hoist you up.”

“Like one of the rides!” Chris smiled, arms already above his head. “See us!” He cried again, and when Buck shoved him as far above the water as he could Christopher waved his arms around even more.

Buck’s own arms shook with the effort, but he pushed himself to go further, do more, and lifted Christopher even higher, almost falling completely underwater when the two of them came crashing back down. But it had been worth it; when Buck’s head resurfaced the little rescue, boat was turning in their direction, someone on board waving their arms back to let them know they had been spotted.

A small hand was once again patting at his wet cheek, “You did it kid.”

“You were an incredible help Christopher. Great job.” Buck breathed heavily, counting the seconds until he could stop moving his arms and just let them melt into the jello they wanted to become. 

The boat slowed as it neared them, and a female firefighter Buck had never seen before ran to the edge, “Hey there!”

“Take him.” Buck didn’t waste a second, he needed to get Christopher out of the water.

“Come here kiddo, I’ve got you.” She called gently, strong hands wrapping under Chris’ armpits and hoisting him above the side of the boat.

“Now you gotta get my Buck.” Christopher whispered, scooting out of the way but staying very close to the middle of the boat.

The lady smiled and gave him a strong nod, “Of course. Sir, grab my hand I’ll help pull you up.”

Buck barely had the energy needed to throw his arm over his head, let alone pull himself all the way into the little boat. But somehow his hand reached past the rubber lip, and he felt a strong tug against the back of his shirt. He was straining as hard as he could, wincing with the effort, when he felt a small hand grab his own and start to help pull as well. It was enough to give Buck a last burst of effort, and with the much-needed assistance of the firefighter, Buck was able to flop ungracefully into the boat.

He fell on his back, panting heavily and just staring up at the blue sky. Christopher laid his head against Buck’s chest, and Buck instinctually began running his fingers through his hair. “Thank you.” He gasped out, not quite sure who he was directing that gratitude to.

“Just hold tight you two, we’re gonna get you on dry land and get you all nice and warm.”

“I want hot chocolate.” Christopher whispered, and Buck smiled.

“We can get you some hot chocolate kiddo.”

Christopher’s next request was voiced a little quieter than the first and was accompanied by a squeezing of Buck’s fingers. “I want my dad.”

That got Buck moving again, groaning as he moved to sit up, ignoring how the world spun for several seconds too long when he was finally upright again. “Are you in contact with the other firefighters working here?”

The woman glanced at him from her position steering the boat, “Yes sir, why?”

“I need you to contact Captain Bobby Nash of the 118. He and his team need to meet us back on shore.”

“I don’t know where they’re stationed, everyone is spread pretty thin.”

“I know I know, but I need Captain Nash. Just, radio him, please. I work for him, tell him it’s Evan Buckley.” Buck explained, he was getting really tired of talking, and he tried pleading with his eyes. “Please, Captain Nash of the 118.”

The woman pursed her lips but relented with a nod, “I’ll contact him once we get closer to shore, you can’t hear much of anything over these motors.”

Buck just nodded, sagging back and letting his eyes slip closed. “Thank you.” He whispered, his arms once again finding their way around Christopher’s waist and gently tugging him as close as he was able.

When they finally docked it was to a scene of absolute chaos. Someone tried to grab Christopher from him as they hopped out of the boat, but Buck just shook his head, too tired to even tell them to back off. The two of them were ushered towards where several cots had been set up, someone giving them a quick preliminary medical check just to assess whether or not they were dying. Then they were given a thick blanket and told to sit tight.

So that’s what the two of them did. Buck soon began to lose track of everything but the warmth in his arms, the steady beat of Christopher’s heart. It cancelled out anything else he might have been feeling and he fell into an almost blissful state of numbness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The zodiac had barely touched down before Eddie was jumping out and sprinting through the crowd, eyes wide; he wasn’t even trying to hide his desperation. “Christopher!” He shouted, growing more desperate the longer he went without seeing him. “Christopher!”

“Eddie, over here!” Hen called, waving to get his attention. She pointed to where several cots were all lined up, and sitting on one, looking more exhausted than Eddie ever wanted to see, was Buck. And clutched in his arms: Christopher. 

Eddies shoulders sagged in relief, and if he hadn’t been so desperate to hold Chris close to him, he knew his legs would have given out right there. He jogged closer, tears falling unchecked, “Christopher.”

Christopher’s head poked up, and he glanced around to try and see where the voice was coming from. “Buck,” He said, shaking Buck’s shoulder, “Buck it’s dad!”

Buck blinked, the boy’s words took a moment to process, probably a moment longer than they should have, but when they finally did register he quickly set Chris down, no matter how much he didn’t want to, and watched him stagger towards his dad.

Eddie crashed to his knees and pulled Christopher as close to him as was physically possible. “Are you okay, does anything hurt?” Eddie pulled back and held Chris at arms’ length, studying him carefully.

“I’m okay dad.” Christopher smiled, brushing a hand against Eddie’s chin. “Buck kept me safe.”

A spike of emotion shot through Eddie’s heart, and he glanced up to see Buck sitting exactly where Christopher had left him, Eddie couldn’t even tell how much awareness he really had, the poor guy looked about ready to collapse. 

“He needs a nap.” Christopher stated matter-of-factly.

The sentiment made Eddie chuckle, knowing that whenever Christopher was particularly exhausted, a nap was his go-to solution. “I think he needs more than just a nap buddy.”

“A nap is a good place to start.” 

“That it is. Hey, you remember Hen and Chim right? Can you let them look you over while I check on our friend over here?”

Christopher nodded, holding his arms open for one more hug that Eddie was all too willing to give him, before he started making his way to where the two paramedics were waiting, figuring Eddie would want them to check his son over anyway.

 That allowed Eddie to stand and make his way closer to the cot. “Buck?” Eddie asked, holding a hand out and looking at his friend warily.

“Eddie.” Buck’s shoulders sagged in relief, a tired smile stretching across his marred face. “I found him Eddie, I found him, and I didn’t let him go.”

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed; not quite sure what Buck meant. “How you feeling buddy?”

Buck didn’t really seem to register what had been asked, instead positing a question of his own, “Is Christopher alright?”

“Yeah, yeah Buck, you got him here safely.”

“Oh thank god, I was real worried for a bit. Wasn’t sure we were gonna find you.” Buck sighed heavily, his eyelids drooping and his entire body listing to the side.

“Woah woah buddy, Buck buddy you gotta stay awake okay?” Eddie called frantically, catching Buck before he could fall out of the cot completely. 

“We made it back,” Buck breathed, still not quite seeming to comprehend anything Eddie had actually said to him.

“Yeah Buck, you did.”

“‘M tired.”

“I know you are buddy, but you could be hurt, we need to check you over. Eyes open okay?”

Buck just blinked sluggishly, “Christopher? Is he hurt?”

Eddie sighed, lips tight, he wasn’t sure if it was just exhaustion or if Buck had a concussion or other sort of injury that was interfering with his ability to focus. “No Buck, just a few cuts and bruises, nothing serious at all.”

“Okay good, was real-” Buck’s voice tapered off into an exhausted whisper, “worried for a sec.” He finished, the small sentence obviously taking quite a bit of effort, before his eyes rolled back and his entire body sagged downwards. He would have hit the ground had Eddie not already had a firm hold of his shoulders. “Buck, Buck hey! Guys I need help over here!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buck didn’t remember closing his eyes, granted most of the day after he’d lost Chris had been a blur, but it was still a weird feeling to wake up in a room he had no recollection of being moved to. He was starting to get far too used to hospital beds though, so although he didn’t know all the details he knew exactly where he was when he finally came to.

The room was quiet, a heart monitor beating softly in time to his pulse next to him and the quiet shuffle of some sort of material; the general din of the world outside his own room was the only source of any significant noise. He could only imagine how busy the hospital was after the disaster they just experienced.

His eyes peeled open with minimal effort but attempting to turn his head and survey the room resulted in a hiss of pain. 

Maddie had been sitting in the chair next to his bed reading a new book Chimney had bought her when she heard the noise of discomfort, the book immediately falling away when she saw her brother awake. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Okay, all things considered.” He whispered, throat feeling like he had gargled nails for breakfast.

“Yeah, you were amazingly lucky. Mostly minor injuries.”

Buck’s eyebrows raised and he looked up at Maddie in trepidation, “Mostly?”

She nodded with pursed lips, but she’d promised him she was never going to withhold medical information, no matter what it might be. “Yeah. Lots of little cuts and bruises. Your ribs took a real beating, so you’ll have to be careful about those. Whiplash, hence the sore neck, so careful moving your head. Your leg, well for what you went through it sustained amazingly little harm. You’ll need to use crutches again, at least for a little bit, and the doctor has to keep a close eye on things to make sure nothing was damaged structurally and the metal implants are still holding up okay, but otherwise you’ve been given a clean bill of health.”

Buck nodded, swallowing with a wince. It really wasn’t as bad as he had expected, with how he’d been feeling by the time they’d finally been picked up by rescuers. They. A spike of icy terror shot through his heart, vocalized by the shrill scream of the heart monitor, “Christopher, where is he, is he alright?”

“Evan, relax, okay? Just breathe, Christopher is fine. He’s at home resting, he is perfectly safe. Thanks to you.” Maddie was hoping that would at least calm Buck down, make him feel a little better, but if anything, it seemed to have the opposite effect.

“No, no I lost him Mads. I had him and then I lost him, he almost died.” Buck shook his head vehemently, face scrunched in disgust. 

Maddie settled gently on the hard hospital cot, gripping the hand not full of tubes in her own, “What are you talking about, Ev I don’t understand.”

Buck’s eyes began to water, and he’d just opened his mouth to try and explain, when a slightly breathless figure in the door caught his attention. “Eddie.” 

Eddie’s eyes were wide, breathing heavily as if he’d just run up several flights of stairs in full firefighter gear, “You’re awake.” 

Buck nodded with a swallow, “You’re alone.”

“I didn’t know- Christopher is in the waiting room, he was having a little trouble sleeping back home but I didn’t know if you were still out of it. I didn’t want him coming in here if you weren’t, well if you weren’t conscious.” Eddie shifted nervously, still standing in the doorway, “He saw you pass out at the triage center and it uh, it really freaked him out.”

Buck’s face scrunched up in anger, one more thing to add to the ever-growing tower of self-loathing. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Eddie demanded immediately.

Maddie watched the two interact, could feel the tension radiating off her brother in waves, and knew this was a conversation the two of them needed to have alone. “Hey Evan, I’m gonna go get some coffee okay? I’ll be back in a bit.”

Buck smiled up at her briefly but otherwise didn’t say anything.

On her way out the door Maddie gave Eddie’s arm a reassuring squeeze, “He’s real upset about something, I don’t know what though.” She whispered.

Eddie gave a small nod and stepped out of the way as she left, book in hand. He shuffled his feet awkwardly, he wasn’t terribly good at navigating emotions, but Buck had saved his son’s life, not to mention he considered the man one of his closest friends. He owed it to him to try and figure out what was going on. So, with a deep breath he stepped through the threshold, and crossed over to the recently vacated chair. “So how are you feeling?”

“Well, I really just woke up not that long ago, so I think the discomfort hasn’t really sunk in yet. That or they have me on some pretty good pain meds.”

Eddie laughed, “Probably a little of both.”

The room lapsed into silence and Buck stared so intensely at the wall Eddie thought it was in danger of spontaneous combustion, “How many?” He finally whispered.

“There isn’t a final count yet, but a lot.” He responded somberly. 

Buck just nodded, teeth chewing the inside of his lip almost subconsciously. “There were so many people out there, I wish I could have helped them.”

“You did, you helped a lot of people Buck.”

Buck just sighed, the exhale almost sounding bitter, which only served to confuse Eddie further. Maddie had been right; something really was bothering him. Eddie moved to sit in the hard-plastic chair that had been moved close to Buck’s bed, studying his face as he went. “Can I help with anything, I mean, do you need me to get anything for you?”

Buck ignored Eddie’s question and responded with a question of his own. “Why aren’t you mad?”

The inquiry had Eddie reeling, blinking in shocked confusion, “What are you talking about?”

“You should be furious with me.” Buck said, his tone resigned, like he was just waiting for the mood to shift and for him to be proven right, “You should hate me.”

Eddie’s heart stuttered, “Why would I hate you?”

It took a moment, and when Buck finally did answer it was in such a small, quiet voice, Eddie almost didn’t hear, “Because I hate me.”

“Buck, you saved my son’s life, how could I ever hate you? Hell, I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to repay you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Don’t do that.”

Eddie sighed, “Don’t do what?” He pressed gently, hoping Buck would just open up already and the conversation that clearly needed to happen could finally start. 

“Thank me. Act like I’m some-some hero or something.” He said the word like it tasted bad on his tongue.

Eddie chuckled nervously, mostly because he really didn’t understand where any of this was coming from. “Well what should I treat you like?”

“A failure.” Buck snapped, his eyes were bursting fiery with anger, but Eddie could tell it was directed inward and not at himself.

The vehemence in his tone took Eddie by surprise and he was left sputtering, “What? Buck, how could you be a failure? You’re alive, Christopher is alive-”

“Yeah well he almost wasn’t!” Buck interrupted with a crackling shout, tears welling but refusing to spill. 

Dread pooled in the pit of Eddie’s stomach, mind racing with possibilities, of the doctor’s having missed something, him missing something; Christopher hadn’t mentioned anything but maybe he didn’t want to talk about it. “What-what are you talking about Buck?” He hated how much his voice wavered.

Buck shook his head, he looked like he wanted to stand and pace, work out some of the tension in his body. “He fell off the truck Eddie! I turned my back for a second, and he fell off the truck and he was just gone. I thought he was dead, I thought I had killed your son and I knew it was something neither of us were ever going to be able to forgive me for. And yeah, sure, I jumped in to look for him but I- I was- Eddie if I couldn’t find him, I wanted that wave to kill me. Because being dead would be better than having to face you and tell you I let Christopher die. That it was my fault you lost someone else in your family.” 

Eddie felt the confession hit him like a brick, sucking the air from his chest and immediately making tears prick behind his own eyes. “Buck, Ev listen, I don’t care. Okay? I don’t. Look, whatever happened in the middle, I’m sure you protected Christopher to the best of your abilities.”

Buck opened his mouth to interrupt, probably protest, but Eddie wasn’t going to give it to him. “Ev it was a disaster. You said Chris fell off the truck? Then he fell off the truck. But you found him again, you brought him to safety.” Eddie had to stop and breathe as a sob threatened to wrench its way out of his throat, tears were already free flowing down his face. “You brought him back to me. And we can talk through anything else that happened later but right now the only fact I care about is that you and Christopher are alive. You understand?”

Buck nodded, not trusting his voice to work past the tears lodged in his throat.

“God,” Eddie laughed wetly, swiping the tears off his face with a sniff, “Here I was afraid you were gonna be mad at me.”

“W-what?” Buck croaked.

“Buck, you wouldn’t have even been out on the pier if I hadn’t pushed you to get out today. I’m the reason you left your apartment.”

“I don’t blame you, honestly I-I know I needed it. I just happen to have the shittiest luck in the universe. But I didn’t blame you for a second Eddie.”

“What if we just say it was no body’s fault?”

The sudden voice from the doorway drew their attention away from each other, Christopher stood with a big, albeit tired, grin on his face.

Eddie stood and was quick to scoop Christopher off his feet, tickling his tummy on the way up, “Hey you, how did you get up here?”

“Hen brought me!”

“Hi,” Hen waved, leaning in the doorframe, “Sorry if I was interrupting something, Maddie said Buck was awake and this one was insistent on seeing him immediately.”

“You were?” Buck asked playfully, “C’mere you goof.”

“You’re the goof!” Christopher squealed as Eddie hoisted him above his head and swung him around the room a little before plopping him onto the hospital bed.

Buck’s hand drifted towards Christopher without him really even seeming to notice, still instinctually needing to be close, to ensure Chris was safe. He leaned forward as much as he was physically able, swallowing a wince, “So, what’s the status report?”

“Nothing of consequence.” Christopher said matter-of-factly with a strong nod of his head.

“You sure?” Buck asked, a mischievous grin growing on his face, “Not even here?” He poked at Christopher’s side, “Or here?” Buck poked his other side and Chris wiggled out of the way. “Definitely here!” 

Christopher fell back with a loud giggle, clutching his stomach where Buck was tickling him playfully. “Stop!” He cried, a large grin on his face.

Buck pulled his hands back, laughing along with Christopher, no matter how much it hurt his ribs. Eddie must have picked up on his discomfort though because a second later he was walking over and kneeling at the edge of the bed, looking Chris in the eyes. “Whaddya say we let Buck get some rest hm?”

“Aww.” Chris sat up, smile fading.

“You can totally come back and see me tomorrow,” Buck promised, before opening his mouth in a hugely exaggerated yawn. “I am pretty tired.” 

Eddie met his eyes over Christopher’s mop of curly hair, a small smile of gratitude silently expressing his thanks. Christopher needed to rest too, and he would feel much better about leaving if he thought it was because Buck needed to sleep himself.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow kid.” Chris said, reaching his little hand up once more to rub against Buck’s cheek.

Buck leaned into the contact and took the opportunity to blow a quick raspberry, wanting to hear the boy’s laughter one last time before he left for the evening.

“Alright mister,” Eddie gripped Chris and easily pulled him off the bed. “Can you wait for daddy out in the hallway real quick?”

“Roger that!” Chris nodded and started making his way to the door, progress a little slow-going without the aid of his crutches.

“Thank you,” Eddie said, standing and placing a firm hand on Buck’s knee. He sounded more sincere than Buck had ever heard him, “Seriously, thank you.”

“Thanks for visiting. You’ll be back tomorrow?” Buck wasn’t even the least bit embarrassed by the hopeful lilt of his voice.

Eddie smiled, glancing over his shoulder where Christopher was sweet-talking a nurse. “I don’t think that one will stand for anything else.”

“Good. Now get outta here.”

“Alright, I’m going. Have a good night Buck.”

Buck smiled gently, “You too.”

Hen watched Eddie leave the room, once again snatching Christopher right off the ground and pulling him close, the sight made her smile. She couldn’t even imagine how she would be feeling if it had been her own son lost in the disaster. 

“Thank you, for bringing him up.” Buck’s soft voice broke the relative silence that had encompassed the room.

“I think he needed it as much as you did. Now get some rest, you look about two seconds away from passing out completely.”

Buck sighed, trying to stifle a real yawn that time with little success, “Any idea on when I can get outta here?”

“You don’t enjoy the scenery?” Hen joked with a roll of her eyes. “Go to sleep Buck, I’ll ask around.”

“M’kay. Night Hen.”

“Good night Buck.”

[inawickedlittletown]

I’m With You (18/22)

Summary:

Having a crush was nothing to be ashamed of…lying to the family and friends of said crush about being the guy’s boyfriend, that was a whole other problem. When Buck saves the life of Andrew Diaz and accidentally makes a nurse think that he’s Andrew’s boyfriend, Buck soon finds himself lying to Andrew’s firefighter friends/coworkers as well as Andrew’s family including Andrew’s very suspicious and attractive brother, Eddie.

Based on the 1995 movie While You Were Sleeping.

Words: 3,178

Read on Ao3

Masterpost

Previous Chapter

–

It was watching Legolas with the kids as the day went on that brought the dog back into his memory and it fit in with other things that he’d started to remember. It in no way changed Andrew’s opinion on dogs. The dog felt like the last piece of the puzzle that was his memory because nothing felt strange or foreign anymore. Ever since he’d returned home it had felt like more and more was coming back and he knew better than to expect to remember Buck. Except that he did strangely enough. 

Andrew couldn’t be sure if it was because someone had mentioned that Buck was a barista, but Andrew did remember him handing Andrew the coffee order for the 118 every time he went to pick it up at Coffee Time. He remembered him because it was nearly always Buck taking care of his order and Andrew tended to be good with remembering faces unless of course he had amnesia. 

Andrew hadn’t expected Buck to come back after leaving. It was even more surprising when he arrived with his sister. Andrew had been under the impression that Buck had no one, but there he was with a woman standing next to him. 

“Didn’t someone say he doesn’t have any family?” Andrew asked Josh.

“That’s what I thought too.” 

Maddie’s smile was the first thing that Andrew noticed. Next he noticed that she was quite pretty. Although Maddie was friendly, Andrew couldn’t help but also notice that she stuck close to her brother and there was definitely a story there in her reappearance in Buck’s life. Andrew didn’t ask when Buck sat down by him mostly because he didn’t think it was his place and he didn’t want to ask in front of Maddie. What Andrew couldn’t tell was if Maddie knew about Buck’s lie or if she, like everyone else, thought that Andrew was Buck’s boyfriend. 

After trying to get Buck to eat some of the food off his plate, mostly because it was fun to try and feed Buck while Buck tried to dodge his attempts, Buck got up to get his own food. His sister followed.

It wasn’t long after they were gone that shit hit the fan and Andrew could have never once predicted it. 

“Are you kidding me? Seriously, you’re sleeping with Eddie? Buck, what the fuck?” Maddie’s words carried over to them. 

“Shit,” Andrew said mostly to himself. 

Everyone’s eyes had turned to him. Chimney looked like he’d just taken a drink of water and it went down the wrong way. No one said anything and it almost felt like they were waiting to see what happened next. Worst of all, Andrew had no idea if what Maddie had yelled out was true or not. If it was...well, he didn’t think Eddie would ever do that to him. 

Someone touched his elbow and when he looked it was Hen. She was frowning at him, her eyes filled with concern. 

“Are you okay?”

Buck wasn’t his boyfriend. Andrew had no reason to be upset...except that maybe he had a right to be offended or something? Either way, it was definitely cramping his plans to keep the ruse going. Although, maybe this also gave him an out especially if it turned out to be true. Andrew was pretty sure it wasn’t true. 

He didn’t get a chance to answer Hen because there was a commotion inside and Andrew couldn’t stop himself from pushing past everyone else and rushing inside. Legolas was just ahead of him and he was barking. In the kitchen his eyes found Maddie first. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was looking at Buck and shaking her head, her lips pursed. Buck looked stricken, his eyes were glassy. Last, he found Eddie who stood in front of a broken plate and food that Legolas rushed over to eat up. 

“What’s going on here?” Andrew asked, careful. 

Buck looked towards him first, eyes widening at seeing him and there were apologies written all over his face. Was it true, then? Andrew stepped further in, but before he could do or say anything, he saw Pepa enter from the living room and she looked livid. Andrew had seen his tia angry only a few times but it had never been directed at him or Eddie. Her anger was usually at their dad or her own kids. 

“Edmundo, es verdad?” she asked, calm but with weight behind it. And then she didn’t let Eddie say a word before she continued on. “No te puedo creer, Eddie! El es el novio de tu hermano...si pudiste hacer esto. I can’t believe it. I’m disappointed and ashamed of you.” 

[“Edmundo, is it true?”...“I can’t believe you, Eddie! He’s your brother’s boyfriend...if you could do that. I can’t believe it. I’m disappointed and ashamed of you.”]

But Buck wasn’t his boyfriend and maybe that was the thing that would clear everything up. Behind him, the others were coming in and Chimney somehow ended up next to him. 

“Do something,” Chim muttered. “She looks like she’s ready to slap him. On your behalf.”

“Pepa, I wasn’t—” Eddie began.

“No te puedo ni mirar,” Pepa said and it was filled with disappointment, his words cutting and full of disgust. 

[“I can’t even look at you”]

Andrew stepped forward, but he didn’t know what he was supposed to say or do. Then Buck was there, putting a hand on Andrew’s elbow.

“Buck,” Andrew said. 

Buck shook his head at him and he moved past Andrew towards Pepa. 

“I’m not sleeping with Eddie,” he said. “My sister has no idea what she’s talking about.” Buck’s gaze fell on Maddie, then, and Andrew noted how tight Buck’s jaw was. “Pepa, that’s the truth. Nothing has happened between me and Eddie.” 

Maddie had backed up into a wall and one of her hands covered her mouth. She was frowning and looked like she would start crying at any moment. A part of Andrew wanted to go over there and make sure she knew that on his account she had nothing to worry about. He thought she whispered “I’m sorry”. 

Andrew saw his abuela approach, then, moving slowly but like the strong woman that she was. “Buck,” she said, “what is happening?”

Buck took a glance around at all of them because of course everyone had come in to see what was happening. They had no shame in their curiosity. Andrew knew, suddenly, what Buck was going to do and there was nothing he could do to stop him. It was his choice.

Andrew had wanted to drag on the teasing for a while longer, but he’d also planned to eventually talk to Buck about everything to find an easy way for the truth to come out. Their hands were being forced. Andrew wasn’t going to stop Buck from coming clean, though. So, he hung back and watched Buck knowing already that what Buck was doing was very brave and also very stupid. But maybe Buck already knew that, had resigned himself to that. Andrew could only watch and at least he was a little more knowledgeable than everyone else. 

—-

Isabel looked okay. It was the one thing that Buck took notice of when he spotted her, but he still moved towards her before he did anything else and he offered his hand. She took it, even while looking confused and frowning at him. She’d heard of course, maybe even the bit from Pepa. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck said and it felt important. She was the one that he needed to apologize to first and the one that he hoped wouldn’t be affected in a bad way. 

“What for? You don’t need to—”

“I do,” Buck said and he gave her hand a squeeze. “It was never supposed to be like this. I’m sorry.” 

Buck looked to Pepa next and she didn’t look like she would welcome any apologies. The way she looked at him lacked all the warmth that had been usually present and Buck just took a deep breath. This...it was everything he’d expected. Still, he braced himself. 

“I’m sorry,” Buck muttered to her. “Truly. But it’s time to tell the truth.” 

“The truth,” Pepa said and her eyes flickered from him to Eddie. 

Buck shook his head. He couldn’t keep looking at Pepa, but Buck refused to look in the direction of Eddie who had been quiet since Maddie had gone and ruined everything. Buck had expected him to say something — anything at all — but instead it was as if he’d lost his ability to speak. Maybe it was shock or he was holding himself back. Either way, Buck was glad that he wasn’t making all of it worse. 

It had been a mistake to bring Maddie, Buck knew. Or maybe it had been a mistake to trust Maddie with the truth. Buck had planned on telling everyone everything before Maddie showed up and before Eddie kissed him and...and he’d let this drag on for far longer than he should have. He had let it get complicated. 

The moment that Athena had entered that hospital room should have been the start and end. The moment that Andrew woke up should have been the moment that he walked away or told the truth. He’d been a coward both times. 

Buck couldn’t quite look at the rest of them, but his eyes fixed themselves on Andrew. He deserved a direct apology as well. In some ways, he deserved it more than anyone else because Buck had added to the confusion that his amnesia brought. The guilt when it came to that had nee gnawing at him for a while.  

Andrew, to Buck’s surprise, reached out for him first, grabbing both of Buck’s shaking hands. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t know what. He looked like he was trying to offer Buck support. There was no anger and no confusion, just acceptance. That made Buck feel even worse. He didn’t deserve that. 

“I’m really sorry,” Buck said. “I shouldn’t have let this get so out of hand.” 

Andrew actually smiled a bit, the corner of his lips turning up. His hands gave Buck’s a light squeeze. 

“You shouldn’t have,” Andrew said. 

“The thing is,” Buck said. “I’m not your boyfriend.” 

“I know,” Andrew said with a smile. 

He knew. Of course he knew. Buck wanted to laugh, he wanted to allow himself to find that funny, but he couldn’t. If he were honest with himself, Buck could admit that he already knew that Andrew knew. Either way his stomach still churned because Andrew’s reaction was one thing, everyone else would be something else. 

“What’s going on, Buckaroo?” Hen asked. 

Buck was still looking at Andrew. “You figure it out on your own?” 

“No,” Andrew said. 

“Oh,” Buck said because of course Chimney had told him. 

“Buck?” Hen asked. 

Buck cleared his throat and he didn’t address Hen directly, but everyone. “The thing is,” he said and noticed how everyone was looking at him. “I lied and I talked myself out of every single chance that I had to come clean. I didn’t even know your name, Andrew. I knew nothing about you and I was stupid and I lied and I couldn’t take it back. Not when...when I guess that I fell in love with you…”

Andrew was still holding his hand and he froze, frowning. “With me?” he asked, shocked. “But, Buck—”

Buck shook his head and a small humorless chuckle escaped. “No. Not with you, Andrew. With...all of you. Your family...your friends. I walked into that hospital room with no one and by the time I left I had an abuela and an aunt and friends. Family. And you all just welcomed me in with no hesitation because of your love for Andrew even when I didn’t make any sense at all. Especially, then. And I love all of you for that. But I lied and I’m really sorry about that. And I don’t belong here. I never did.” 

He could feel how wet his cheeks were. His voice had cracked with the emotion a few times, but he couldn’t focus on that when Andrew’s hand fell away and when Pepa looked upset. Isabel’s face was a blank and Buck couldn’t tell what she was thinking but she was okay which was enough. Somehow, Buck’s eyes met Bobby’s and there was disappointment there mixed in with confusion. Hen wasn’t looking at him. 

Buck dug into his pocket and brought out Andrew’s keys.

“Here,” he said, thrusting them at him. 

Andrew took them. “Buck—”

Buck shook his head. “I always knew it would end this way. It’s okay.” 

Chimney was trying to catch his eye and Buck had no idea where Josh was but that didn’t matter because Maddie was suddenly there and she looked apologetic and sad when she grabbed him around the elbow, pulling at him because at least she knew that what Buck needed was to leave. The truth was out. Buck had made it a few steps when he thought to look back. His eyes landed on Eddie. 

Eddie was braced against the island and his eyes were fixed on Buck, his eyebrows set in a deep frown and there was anger and disgust in the way that he looked at Buck, an expression that Buck had never before seen on his face. In a way, he looked like he was holding himself back, teeth gritted and his knuckles white where they were holding onto the counter. 

Buck wanted to apologize to him as well, but he didn’t know if that would make it better or worse. 

Maybe being right didn’t want to suit Eddie. But he’d kissed Buck. That was a thing that had happened just hours earlier and the Eddie standing there in the kitchen wasn’t the Eddie that had done that. He probably regretted it, now. And Buck didn’t imagine that any explanation would make any of it better. It hurt his chest to think about it and to realize that this was probably the last he would see of Eddie. Eddie hated him. 

All of it...it was really truly over. 

In the living room were Christopher and Denny. Buck didn’t know Denny all that well, but he knew Christopher. Buck wasn’t sure if he should stop and say goodbye, and in the end when Maddie steered him to the door, he figured it might be best if he didn’t. 

He and Maddie had nearly made it to the door and it was so absolutely telling that no one was coming after them. No one was chasing him and trying to get him to stay. Not even Chimney or Josh. They’d all liked him and welcomed him in when he was Andrew’s boyfriend but now that the truth was out, he was nothing to them. Buck didn’t blame them one bit. He’d know that this was the way it would go. 

“Buck,” he heard suddenly, the voice small and a bit raspy. Christopher. 

Buck turned. “Hey,” he said and crouched down when Christopher approached. 

Christopher was still wearing that bandage around his wrist. “I won’t see you again, will I?” he asked.

Perceptive kid. 

“I don’t think you will,” Buck said. “I’m sorry.” 

He didn’t expect Christopher to hug him, but he hugged him back and ran a hand through the boy’s curls. He was going to miss this kid. He was going to miss all of them. He could feel the emotion, the tears that wanted to pour out and he tried his best to keep all of it at bay. 

“It’s okay,” Christopher said. 

“Be good to your dad, kiddo,” Buck said. 

Christopher touched his cheek. “You’ll be okay, kid.” he said and wiped away one of Buck’s tears. 

Buck had no idea how much Christopher understood. Probably not a whole lot, just enough to know that Buck was leaving for good. 

Maddie was standing by the door and Buck moved to join her when he felt paws on his legs. In all the confusion, Buck had almost forgotten about Legolas. Legolas barked at him, pawing at him and Buck couldn’t help but drop down to the floor and wrap his arms around the dog. He loved Legolas. He ran his hands down his back and pressed a kiss to the top of his head and he knew he was crying against his fur.  

“You be a good boy, Legolas,” Buck whispered. 

When Maddie opened the door, Legolas tried to step in front of Buck as if to stop him from leaving. 

“Legolas, stop. Sit,” Buck commanded and Legolas listened. He sat and looked at Buck and let out a soft whine. “I’ll miss you, bud. But you have your owner back. Go on, back inside.”

It broke his heart to see Legolas move away. When Buck stepped towards the open door, he glanced back once more and found Andrew. Legolas had walked to his side and Andrew crouched down to pet him. Buck let himself smile even through his tears. Andrew nodded at him and then Buck stepped out. 

Maddie was waiting by the steps. A few hours ago this was where he and Eddie had kissed. At least he had the memories of that to remember him by along with everything else. Their friendship...the days spent out in Andrew’s yard with Legolas, and other times too at the hospital and in Buck’s car. Memories were all that Buck could hold onto, he was used to that. 

“Buck, I’m so sorry. I just—”

“Don’t,” Buck said and his sister must have heard the way that he was just managing to hold himself together because she didn’t say anything else not even when they had gotten back to his apartment and Buck just walked up the stairs, ignoring her and everything else and dropped into his bed.

His room had always been a comfort, a place to escape where he could just be and where all the facades could fall away and Buck didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay. He’d always known that things would come to this eventually. But no amount of preparation for it had made him ready to feel how empty it left him. 

Later, and Buck couldn’t tell how much time had passed, he felt the bed dip and Maddie touched his shoulder. 

“Hey,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here. I really...I made a mess of this for you. I could tell they meant a lot to you. I’m so sorry, Evan. I should have stayed away. I...I should—”

He heard it in her voice, her instinct to run away. She was going to leave him again...

“Don’t leave,” Buck whispered. “Don’t leave me.”

“I screwed things up for you. I shouldn’t—”

Buck reached out and grabbed her hand. “Don’t leave, Maddie.”

“I won’t. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”

–

Next Chapter

Notes: Soooo that finally happened. Hope everyone liked this one. It’s one of the chapters that I was looking forward to writing since the beginning. Let me know what you all thought. Thanks for reading. :)

Tagging: @tranquility-or-chaos @diazbuckleysworld @stilesgivesmefeels

[inawickedlittletown]

Puzzle Pieces (one-shot)

Summary: Valentine’s Day goes wrong - Buddietines Week Day 5.

Surprised by Eddie asking what he’s doing for Valentine’s Day, Buck doesn’t expect it to be because Eddie has a date and needs someone to watch Christopher. 

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Words: 5,146

Notes: Happy Valentine’s Day! 

This fic was sort of supposed to fit the blind date prompt but since the blind date wasn’t buddie, I liked the idea of it fitting in with the Valentine’s Day goes wrong prompt instead. At the time when I was writing this I also only intended to write one Valentine’s Day fic and figured that posting on actual Valentine’s Day felt right. (I have now written fics to fic the budditines prompts for Saturday and Sunday so...) Anyway, enjoy.

Read on Ao3 

------

Valentine’s Day was coming up. It had been coming up since the beginning of the year since apparently every store he stepped foot into went from Christmas things to Valentine’s Day things practically overnight. It was all really ridiculous. The last time that Buck celebrated Valentine’s Day was with Abby on what could probably be described as the worst date that he’d ever been on. He’d ended up at the hospital. Because that was how most things tended to end for Buck. 

Maddie was excited for this one, though. She and Chimney were doing really well. Buck was happy for the two of them. They both absolutely deserved each other in the best way possible and Buck was happy that they were excited for the holiday. 

Hen was planning something for Karen that she was excited about. Buck liked seeing Hen looking happier. After everything with the IVF not going well and then the incident with the ambulance, Buck was glad to see that they were doing a lot better. 

Even Bobby had plans for some sort of romantic getaway with Athena. 

The only one that didn’t seem thrilled or interested in Valentine’s Day was Eddie. But then, Eddie had lost his wife not even a year ago that the holiday meant for lovers really wasn’t going to do much to interest him. 

Buck for his part had plans to stay home and watch something action packed or maybe more cooking shows and his heart would be safe in the knowledge that Eddie wasn’t out on a date or getting someone chocolate and flowers but that he was probably with Christopher. A part of him was even considering asking Eddie if he could join him and Christopher for the night. They could do video games or movies and junk food that they shouldn’t really be eating. It would be fun. 

So, when February 14th was a week away, the last thing Buck expected was for Eddie to nudge his shoulder when they were leaving the locker room. 

“What’s up?”

“So, I have a favor to ask,” Eddie said. 

“Sure, man. Anything.”

Eddie nodded. “I just wanted to know if you were doing anything on the 14th?”

Buck felt like his heart stopped. “Uh. Valentine’s Day?”

“Yeah, Buck.”

“Uh. No. No plans.” Buck didn’t know what to think. His mind was reeling with possibilities, scenario after scenario popping into his head while he waited for Eddie to continue because he couldn’t believe that Eddie was asking him about Valentine’s day almost like he was gearing up to ask Buck out and...and Buck hadn’t even considered the possibility that Eddie might see him that way. 

“Oh. Good. Good. It’s just I needed someone to watch Christopher. I don’t want to bother Carla when she has plans with her husband and Abuela is out of town and I actually kind of figured you’d be busy but since you’re not then—” 

Eddie was rambling but Buck barely heard any of it because his disappointment drowned it out. Eddie had plans. He had plans with someone and he needed Buck to watch his son. That’s what Buck was good for. And it was fine. It was absolutely fine. It was just that for a small moment Buck had thought that it was something else and that Eddie wanted something else. But no, he just wanted a babysitter. And really, Buck, was pretty sure that Eddie was straight. He really had to stop letting himself get his hopes up. It would only lead to a broken heart. 

“Well you can let Christopher know that he has a date,” Buck said and he plastered on a smile. 

Eddie was grinning. He bumped Buck’s shoulder. “Thanks, Buck. You’re the best.”

“No problem,” Buck said and it wasn’t. He loved getting to spend time with Christopher. He just...on Valentine’s Day he may have wanted to spend time with Eddie more. Except that it was clear that Eddie just didn’t want to spend it with Buck. 

Eddie didn’t tell him about his date or about his plans for Valentine’s Day and Buck didn’t ask. He didn’t want to know. It was easier to not know because then he could pretend that it was fine and that it would be just another ordinary day watching Christopher. One of Buck’s favorite things to do. He loved that kid so much. 

Except that then, when Eddie arrived at his apartment to drop off Christopher, he was dressed like he was going on a date and Buck stood a bit floored by the door and only came out of his stupor when Christopher wrapped his arms around his middle. 

“Hi, Buck.”

“Hey, kid,” Buck said and then ushered him inside. “Come on, we have a lot to do tonight. Go get set up on the couch. I’ll be right there.”

Eddie had stepped inside too and the door was closed behind him. 

“There’s coloring books in his backpack and a few toys. It really shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours. Thanks a lot, Buck. I owe you one.”

Eddie ran over to hug and kiss Chris and then he was on his way before Buck could say anything else. 

—-

Eddie had three sisters. Two older and one younger. They were all the most annoying, nosy people that he had ever known. Abuela had always called them “metidas” and “chismosas” and Eddie had always thought that it was funny until he found himself the subject of their nosiness and meddling. 

[nosy and gossips]

It had started all the way back when Shannon left him and Christopher. His oldest sister, Julia, had been the one to start hinting at him moving on. Then, the second oldest, Viviana, had actually gone and made him a dating profile set to interested in men and women. His younger sister, Emilia, had started chatting up people for him as him on the dating profile. The whole thing was one giant mess. And once he found out and shut it down, they stopped mentioning him moving on for a while until they started just talking to their friends or friends of friends about him and that was somehow worse especially when he happened to run into them and they were all practically throwing themselves at him even in front of Christopher. 

Eddie would be lying if moving to California hadn’t been a little in part to get away from his sisters. There were other factors too, of course. The fire department was one, and the second Shannon. 

That was the thing that his sisters had never understood. She left him...but it didn’t stop him from loving her and from not wanting to move on. Even when he hated her too. And maybe even when she didn’t even want him. It was complicated in a way that they didn’t want to understand. 

The thing was that his family never liked Shannon. It was lowkey dislike, but it was dislike nonetheless and then it had become full on dislike after she took off, Eddie couldn’t blame them. 

When he first contacted Shannon once it was clear he needed her for Christopher’s school, he didn’t tell anyone in the family but his Abuela. It was just easier. Better. He also, absolutely didn’t tell them about Buck. 

Eddie had never met anyone like Buck. He was one of the kindest, most selfless people that he knew. Someone that was loyal to a fault and that Eddie was very glad to have in his corner. He was also stupidly attractive and despite the initial animosity, Buck caught Eddie’s eye from the very first moment he saw him. Buck took his breath away. Buck was also very very much not an option and hadn’t been right from the start. And then, things had gotten complicated with Shannon and then Buck was injured and suing the department and it felt like too many things had happened for anything to spark between them even though sometimes, Eddie could swear that Buck’s eyes lingered on him for just a tad too long. 

It was hard not to have a huge and glaring crush on Buck when Buck took care of Christopher and went out of his way to make sure that Christopher was happy. Buck was easy to love. 

And it was entirely a mistake when Eddie told Viviana that he had a crush on a straight man. 

“Which means, you’re ready to date again! Oh, Eddie, we’ve been waiting for this. And just in time for Valentine’s day.”

That was how Eddie wound up with an arranged blind date. His sisters had told him nothing. Not a name, not the gender, not even personality traits. Just that he had a date for Valentine’s Day and that he better not even consider cancelling or not showing up. 

“Because it’s rude, Eddie,” Emilia had said over the phone. “That’s why you can’t just stand them up. Be a man. It’s a date, we’re not asking you to go off and marry them. You’ve done that already and look how it turned out.”

So maybe he and Shannon hadn’t dated long before they got married — prompted by her pregnancy — but it wasn’t the reason that they hadn’t ended up working. Things may have gone fast, but they had definitely loved each other. That’s why it hurt so much. 

His sisters had managed to keep the date secret up until a week before Valentine’s Day. It was lucky that he didn’t have a shift. A part of him almost believed that that wasn’t any kind of coincidence but he would never be able to prove it and he was stuck going on the date anyway. 

Eddie had tried arguing that there was no one to watch Christopher but when Julia offered to fly out specifically to babysit, Eddie told her he’d figure it out. Abuela was out of town and Pepa wasn’t an option either and Eddie knew Carla had plans which left him with the option of asking the one person that he hoped didn’t have any Valentine’s Day plans: Buck. And Buck, he was more than happy to watch Christopher. He didn’t have plans! It almost made Eddie ask him out instead if only to have a good reason for skipping on the blind date. But, Eddie was a coward and he wasn’t going to endanger their friendship that way. 

Eddie got ready while on facetime with his sisters, each of them popping in and out to judge his clothes and his hair and trying to give him tips that often contradicted each other. Christopher kept asking why Eddie wasn’t going to hang out with him and Buck if he didn’t have work and Eddie didn’t want to explain it all so he let Viviana do it for him. It was the least she could do after all the trouble he was going to to go on a date he didn’t even want. 

When Buck opened the door, Eddie was surprised by the way that Buck just stopped and looked at him and for a small moment, Eddie felt like maybe Buck was checking him out but he couldn’t be sure. 

Christopher rushed forward and hugged Buck. It looked a little awkward what with the crutches, but Christopher was used to them and so was Buck. 

“Hi, Buck,” Christopher said. 

“Hey, kid,” Buck said, smiling at Christopher with so much warmth. “Come on, we have a lot to do tonight. Go get set up on the couch. I’ll be right there.”

Eddie stepped in after them and closed the door behind him. He longed to stay there with them, to join in on whatever Buck had planned for Christopher and to forget all about the night ahead of him. Staying in with Buck and Chris was the thing he wanted the most. He didn’t want a date with some stranger. He wanted them. 

“There’s coloring books in his backpack and a few toys,” Eddie said. “It really shouldn’t be more than a couple of hours.” He was hoping it wouldn’t exceed that anyway. “Thanks a lot, Buck. I owe you one.”

Eddie ran over to hug and kiss Chris goodbye even if his son barely wrapped his arms around him, already too focused on whatever he’d put on the tv. He waved when he was at the door and left. He regretted it the moment the door closed behind him. 

“Damn sisters.”

As he got into his car, he opened their group chat. One of them had named it “At Least Let’s Get Edmundo Laid” because they were just the worst. He texted them his annoyance but still drove to the restaurant where he was supposed to meet his date. The reservation had been made under Eddie’s name by one of his sisters and his date would be there waiting for him. 

Eddie was nervous and a tad annoyed and mostly he hoped whoever it was wasn’t a psychopath.

—-

“Daddy’s going on a date,” Christopher informed him. 

“Yes, I kinda gathered that for myself, kiddo,” Buck said. 

They were doing a puzzle. It was 300 pieces and featured Lady and the Tramp. Christopher had been excited the moment that Buck brought it out. The pieces weren’t too small and Buck was enjoying how much Christopher seemed to love the challenge of finding the right pieces that fit together. 

“Yeah,” Christopher said. “My aunts kind of made him.”

“They made him?” Buck asked. 

That was a twist he didn’t expect. Buck hadn’t heard much about Eddie’s sisters, other than to know that they existed and that Eddie liked the distance he had from them living all the way in LA while they were in Texas. 

“Oh, look, Buck! These go together!” 

Buck grinned and reached over to ruffle Christopher’s hair. 

“Kind of like...like me and you, you know,” Christopher said. “We go together too.”

Buck couldn’t help but chuckle at that. This kid...he was perfect and Buck really and truly loved him. 

“I guess so, Christopher,” Buck said.

It was hard to not be in the moment when Christopher was with him. As curious as he was about Eddie’s date and as much as it bothered him that Eddie was on a date at all, Christopher made for an excellent distraction. 

Christopher kept playing with the puzzle and Buck mostly just watched him, high fiving him every time that he managed to get two pieces together. 

“Buck,” Christopher said eventually. 

“Yeah, buddy?” 

“You know you and daddy fit together too,” Christopher said and he was tipping his head to one side and grinning at Buck. 

“He is my best friend,” Buck said. But boy did he wish they were more.

“No. Not like friends. Like more,” Christopher said. 

“I don’t know about that, bud. Anyway, pizza for dinner?” 

“Yes, Buck.” Chris said.

Buck chuckled and he went to grab his phone. He was surprised to see a text from Eddie. 

How’s it going? You guys doing alright?

—-

His name was Neal. His hair was dark and slicked back and he was moderately handsome. He also had no sense of humor and was just a little bit self-obsessed. Or, at least, he liked to hear himself talk and he certainly liked to talk about himself. And his sisters had expected him to get along with this guy? To want a second date? He barely wanted to get through this first one. 

At one point, Eddie excused himself to the bathroom and he texted them nothing more than a bunch of question marks. None of his sisters responded. So, then, he texted Buck. Checking in on them because that was what a father did. And maybe because he was wishing that he was with them instead. 

Buck didn’t respond at once and when he did it was a thumbs up emoji and Eddie didn’t think that he could start up a conversation with him while he was on his date. He’d been gone too long as it was, so Eddie went back out and Neal smiled when he returned. 

“You were gone a while. Everything okay?”

“Oh. Um, I had to check in with my friend. He’s watching my son.”

Apparently, that was not something Neal had been expecting. Then again, he’d barely allowed Eddie to get a word in edgewise. 

Neal’s face fell into a deep frown. “You have a son,” he said. 

Eddie nodded. “I do. Did my sisters fail to mention their nephew?”

From the look of him it was clear that they had. Because they probably thought that that wasn’t relevant information. They didn’t get it. Christopher needed to be first and foremost and if he was going to start dating, the person he dated needed to not only know about Christopher but also be okay with Eddie having a son — a special needs child at that. 

“They didn’t mention it,” Neal said and took a few bites of his food. 

They were both almost close to being done with their entrees and Neal had finally stopped talking incessantly. When their waiter came by asking if they needed anything, it wasn’t even  Eddie that jumped at the chance to get the bill, but Neal who shot Eddie an almost apologetic look. 

“I got this,” Neal said when it came. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Eddie did not protest. A free dinner was the least he could get out of it. As they were walking out, Eddie took note of all the happy couples deep in conversation or staring into each other’s eyes in a disgustingly loving manner. The restaurant itself was decorated for the holiday with roses everywhere. When they reached the door, Eddie heard someone squeal and when he turned he saw a man drop down to one knee in front of a woman. 

“A bit tacky doing it on Valentine’s Day,” Neal said. 

“Or romantic,” Eddie said. 

When they got outside, Neal turned and looked at him. “We really don’t have anything in common. But this was fun.” He offered up his hand and Eddie shook it. 

Neal walked away and Eddie was tempted to call his sisters and tell them off for the two hours he’d wasted at a dinner with someone that he was never going to connect with. But, he didn’t want that aggravation, so instead he headed to where he’d parked his car and then drove straight to Buck’s apartment. He was so exhausted and the only thing that he wanted was to sit down with his son and Buck and maybe watch a movie. The thing he should have been doing in the first place. 

—-

They ate while doing the puzzle. Christopher was determined to finish it and he was concentrating so hard but Buck would still sort of nudge him in the right direction. He left pieces that would surely go together right next to each other and pretended not to notice them so that Christopher would instead. It was fun. 

“Think we can finish this tonight, Buck?”

“Maybe. I guess it depends on how late your dad is.” 

Christopher frowned at that but refocused on the puzzle and Buck just chuckled and put a few pieces together so that maybe they could finish the whole thing by the time that Eddie returned and took Christopher home. 

“Bucky, don’t you like my dad?” 

“Of course I do. What makes you ask that?” He watched Christopher carefully as he moved pieces around with his fingers. 

“Well, if my daddy is going to start dating again...well, why isn’t he on a date with you?” Christopher looked straight at him with his last word and Buck felt like Christopher was seeing right through him. 

“I don’t know, buddy. I don’t know. Hey, look, we almost have all of Lady done.”

They were about halfway done when the door to his apartment clicked open. Only Eddie and Maddie had keys to his apartment and Buck didn’t expect Maddie to stop by unless something had gone wrong with Chim. Christopher was distracted by the puzzle but Buck stood up when he saw Eddie walk in. 

“Hey,” Buck said and stepped around the puzzle to meet him closer to the door. 

Eddie looked tired. “Hey,” he said back and then his lips turned up into a smile. “What are you guys up to?”

“Puzzle,” Buck said. “He’s having fun.”

“At least you guys had a good night tonight.”

Buck tried to hide how elated he was to hear that. “Not a good night for you?” 

Eddie chuckled. “Yeah, Buck, you could say that. I, um, I went on a date tonight.”

“I sort of figured. Plus, Christopher told me.”

Eddie shook his head but he was smiling. “That kid doesn’t miss a thing. Yeah, my sisters made me go. They’ve been nagging me for ages and then they set this up and didn’t even tell me until the day I asked if you could watch Christopher. He was kind of a dick, to be honest.”

Buck felt lighter, suddenly. Happier. And then the words caught up with him. “He,” he said. 

“Uh...yeah. Buck, you know I’m bi, right?”

Buck shook his head. “No, actually. I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Eddie said and shuffled awkwardly. “Well, I am.”

“Me too,” Buck said and because he didn’t know if he could watch Eddie’s reaction he turned and walked back to Christopher. “How’s it going, buddy?”

“Good,” Christopher said. 

“Your dad is here,” Buck told him. 

Christopher looked up and towards Eddie who had followed them. “Hi, daddy. We’re doing a puzzle.”

“I can see that, son,” Eddie said. 

“Do we have to go yet?” 

Eddie looked towards Buck and Buck shrugged. He would keep them forever if that was an option. “You can stay. If you’re hungry we still have some pizza.”

“The one thing I got out of it was a free dinner,” Eddie said. 

“Oh. Um, beer?”

“That, I’ll take you up on. Kinda need that after tonight.”

When he came back with two beers, Eddie had dropped to help Christopher with the puzzle and Buck sat down to join them. Chris was showing Eddie everything they’d already put together. Eddie was sort of just moving pieces around rather than trying to find anything that fit and Buck could tell that he was distracted. 

“Penny for your thought?” 

“You know, in this economy, it may have gone up to a dime.”

Buck chuckled. “Dude, avoidant much?” 

“How about we just work on the puzzle,” Eddie said. 

For a while they just focused on that. Buck was still trying to help Christopher put pieces together so mostly he was searching for anything that might help him, his hands going all over the puzzle pieces and bumping into Eddie’s from time to time. Eddie sort of froze every time their fingers touched. 

“All night, I just kept wishing I had just stayed here,” Eddie said. “Or at home. Anywhere but on that date.”

Buck didn’t know how to respond to that. He put a few pieces together and passed them towards Christopher. They were very nearly done with the whole thing. 

“It was stupid,” Eddie said. “I don’t even...I’m not interested in finding someone new. But my sisters are just the worst and saying no to them just makes things even worse.”  

Buck had no idea how much time passed while they worked on the puzzle but they finished the whole thing eventually. Christopher did the last ten pieces all on his own, giggling while he did it because he was just such a happy kid. When it was done, Buck expected Eddie to gather up Christopher and his things and be on his way but instead he moved over to the couch after grabbing a second beer and Christopher busied himself admiring his puzzle but Buck walked over to sit with Eddie. 

“I really should have tried to get out of tonight. My sisters...they just like to meddle and they think me dating will make me happy or some nonsense. Abuela says they can’t leave anything alone. My love life being one of those things.”

Buck swallowed. “Well, don’t you want to find someone. Date...do all of that?” 

Eddie shrugged his shoulders and he took a swig of his beer. “I have everything I need already.”

“Christopher,” Buck said. 

Eddie nodded and he took a breath before he set down the beer bottle at his feet and he leaned a bit closer to Buck. Buck had no idea what was happening or why. 

“And you,” Eddie said. 

“And me?”

Eddie sort of nodded. “All I wanted to do today was spend the day with you. Christopher and you. If they hadn’t gotten me this fail of a date I...well, I would have wanted to do something with you tonight. Anything.” 

As friends. Eddie probably meant that he’d wanted to spend the night with him as friends and Buck wanted that too even if he wanted something more too. 

“Me too,” Buck said. He looked towards Christopher but he had to look back at Eddie when Eddie placed a hand on his knee. 

—-

Eddie hadn’t known that he was going to say anything to Buck about his feelings when he first arrived at Buck’s apartment and he let himself in, but then his hand kept touching Buck’s and then they were sitting on Buck’s couch and Buck was right there and Eddie really didn’t want to leave without making it clear that Buck was important to him and not just as his friend. 

“I don’t want to go on any dates unless it’s with you,” Eddie said. 

Buck gasped and his gaze landed on where Eddie had placed his hand on Buck’s knee. 

“You — you wanted to date me?” Buck asked. 

Buck gave nothing away in the way he was looking at him but he wasn’t pushing Eddie away or telling him off so Eddie figured that was a good sign. 

Eddie grabbed his hand. “I want everything with you,” he said and his own courage surprised him. “I was on that date and I wanted to be here. I mentioned Christopher to him and the thought of me having a child repulsed him. He wasn’t you. No one else is and no one will compare. I want you to be my Valentine. This year and next year and the year after that. No one else.”

Buck looked shocked but his hand was gripping Eddie’s hand back and his lips were twitching into a smile. 

“Buck?”

Buck surged forward, breaching the space between them and he kissed Eddie, pressing his lips against Eddie’s and lifting a hand to hold his jaw and Eddie just melted into him. Buck was kissing him, he was right there, his nose brushing against’s Eddie’s cheek and his fingers just lightly moving against his jaw and it was perfect. It was more than Eddie had expected. 

“I love you,” Buck whispered against his lips when he pulled back.

—-

They were kissing. Eddie and he were kissing. His mind was blown and thought was barely possible past trying to forever remember the way that Eddie’s lips felt on his or how Eddie’s hand had landed on his bicep and Eddie just kept moving it up and down in a caress. Eddie nipped at his lips and Buck gasped as their tongues met and Buck couldn’t think anymore. It was impossible to when Eddie was right there and they were kissing, kissing, kissing…

Buck couldn’t help but whine when Eddie pulled back, dotting Buck’s lips with a few chaste pecks after before pressing their foreheads together.

“Love you too, Buck. This should have been my night all along. Spending it with you,” Eddie said.

“This is not the worst Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had,” Buck said. 

“Not by far,” Eddie said. 

There was a lot to discuss still but none of that mattered when they were sitting so close together and they had been kissing just moments before. For Buck, something as simple as a kiss had never been much of a big deal but this kiss mattered. It being Eddie mattered. It made all the difference. 

“I would keep kissing you except—” Eddie motioned towards where Chris was still looking over the puzzle.

Buck chuckled. He kissed Eddie’s cheek, hand lifting up from his jaw to caress Eddie’s forehead. Eddie sighed. 

“How about we put on a movie? If you want, you can change into something more comfortable. You know where my clothes are.” 

“Okay. I’ll be right back, then.”

“Daddy, where are you going?” 

Buck had to get himself back together. Eddie seemed to say something to Chris and then he was heading up the stairs. 

“Hey, buddy, you wanna help me get some popcorn? We’re going to watch a movie,” Buck said and Christopher scrambled to his feet and followed Buck to the kitchen. 

“Hey, Buck,” Christopher said while Buck got a bag of microwave popcorn out of a cabinet. 

“Yeah?”

“I told you that you and daddy belonged together.”

“You know, kid, you’re pretty smart.”

“I know,” Christopher said. 

Buck couldn’t help but laugh. He tasked Christopher with listening to the kernels popping while he grabbed a bowl. 

When Eddie got back, they had already opened the bag and dumped the popcorn into the bowl and Buck helped Christopher carry it over to the couch. 

“You look really good in my clothes, so you know,” Buck said when he was passing by Eddie. 

“Ah, so that was your motive,” Eddie said. 

“That, or I just want to keep you here forever,” Buck said. 

Eddie grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the living room. “You had only to ask for. I want you forever too.” 

“Best Valentine’s Day ever,” Buck said. 

“Yeah!” Christopher said from the couch and Buck high fived him. 

Eddie chuckled but he was nodding along. 

“Does this mean that you two are dating now?” Christopher asked. 

Buck chuckled and Eddie could just smile and grin. “Yeah, that’s exactly what this is.” 

“But I can still hang out with Buck too, right?” 

Buck kissed the top of Christopher’s head. “Kiddo, I think I’m going to be around even more now. You’re going to be sick of me.” 

“Never.” 

“No?”

“Nope. Not ever. You’re stuck with us now, Buck,” Eddie said. 

“And next time your sisters try to set you up on a blind date, you can just tell them you have a boyfriend,” Buck said. 

Eddie chuckled. “Should have done that in the first place.” 

Buck laughed. “That could have been a regularly cliche fake dating situation. Might have ended in the same place.” 

They were looking at each other over Christopher’s head and Eddie reached over and placed a hand on Buck’s cheek. “We would have found a way to this one way or another.”