#how many chances do you get to meet the same person 5 times a week hm?

[worstloki]

hero and villain being casual with each other is a very good dynamic. they see each other regularly, they had better be fine enough with each other to carry a conversation. forced to work together surprises people with how much it isn't an issue.

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | Part 4

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 6,639

Warnings for this chapter: angst(as usual)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

A/N: I'm sorry it took me a bit longer to write this part, I'm just in a weird place right now. I'm doubting a lot about my skills as a writer and that leads me to believe everything I write sucks so this was a bit harder to write, I hope you all like it though.

Jisung has been dreaming about you lately. Going back to every little memory he has with you, watching all the signs you gave him while he was oblivious to you, to your feelings.

It's been almost a week since Han ended things with Lia. The things she said are still stuck in his head, he can't be in love with you. Not after rejecting you. Not after everything you went through to get over him. Not now, when you're happy with someone else.

Things are going back to the way they were before, except that now your roles are reversed, he's the one hanging on your every word and movement, all the little details about you look fascinating to him. He's never felt this way before.

You're not avoiding him anymore. Things fell into place slowly, you started having dinner together again, talking about your day. Then you got back to making coffee for him in the morning, waking him up with the nice scent so he wouldn't be too grumpy woking up so early.

He has a mission now: to stop these strange thoughts he's having. Even if he is indeed feeling this way about you, he lost his chance. He knows he did. Right now, he wants to focus on being a good friend to you, the same as he was before the confession happened.

Jisung just didn't expect how he would feel seeing you with Jeongho again. You invited all your friends to dinner in a nice restaurant, to officially introduce your boyfriend to everyone.

This must be how you felt seeing him with all his previous partners, you must have felt this ache in your chest, as if someone was holding your heart and squeezing it to their heart's content.

You look pretty, hair tied in a ponytail and a dress he never saw before, maybe it's a gift from your boyfriend, he wouldn't know. He avoids talking about your relationship, too selfish to handle the same pain you did for so many years.

Your friendship is getting back to what it was, even though he screwed up really badly, you were the bigger person and forgave him, so he has no right feeling this way about you.

Jisung knows it would be better for you and for him if you didn't come back to the apartment but he's too greedy, he wants you close to him.

This whole problem began because he was greedy, afterall. He didn't want to stay away from you, then he hurt you again and again trying to fix things. Now he just wants to make things right, he just wants you to be happy.

You're smiling so brightly it actually makes his heart skip a beat. He sips from his drink, trying to calm his heart a bit and watch as the others try to make small talk.

“So how did you meet y/n?” Chan asks Jeongho.

“I had the biggest crush on her in middle school but she mercilessly rejected me”, Jeongho answers, looking at you and smiling playfully.

“I thought he had lost a bet or something”, you defend yourself.

“Why would you think that?” Han asks, surprised and you stare at him for a second before shrugging. Of course Jisung was not the only reason for you to reject Jeongho, you were just learning about your feelings at that time. You just couldn't get your head around why someone older and handsome like Jeongho would want to have anything to do with you.

“Y/N was one of the prettiest girls in our school”, Han comments, not understanding why you would feel like that.

He always thought you were pretty, that's why he always complimented you and gave you clothes saying they would look good on you.

“I think teenagers are just insecure. I guess it's part of growing up”, you sip from your wine glass.

Jisung never thought you were insecure about anything by the way you carried yourself with your head high, always so sure about everything you put your mind into. Maybe there's too much he doesn't know about you.

The rest of the dinner goes well, your friends are being nice and trying to make Jeongho comfortable, you're happy about it. Everything seems to be falling into place with your best friend by your side being his normal self and your boyfriend, the guy you're falling in love with being just perfect. Your heart is finally healing, you're moving on, things are working out. You couldn't wish for anything else, you just want things to stay like this forever.

“Are you happy?” Jisung asks when you're outside the restaurant, Jeongho stepped out to take a call from work and left you and your friends alone. One by one they called it a night, saying their goodbyes and leaving you and Han alone.

You stare at him for a moment before answering.

“Yes, I am”, you're not sure why he wants to know and not even sure why you're thinking so much before answering.

Jisung smiles, a sincere and bright smile.

“I'm glad”, he says, “I want you to be happy”

You are a bit taken aback, you didn't expect him to react this way, he almost sounds like a grown up now.

“Thanks, I-”

“I'm sorry I kept you waiting”, Jeongho's voice cuts you out. He slides his arm over your shoulders pulling you closer.

“I should get going”, Jisung says, turning his gaze away from you and your boyfriend.

“Aren't you going home?” You ask and he shakes his head, he's not sure if he can stay at the same place with you two for much longer. “Oh, are you going to Lia's?”

There's not a bit of discomfort in your face, so he just nods. He's not sure if now is the best moment to tell you about his situation with Lia.

“Okay, see you tomorrow then”, you hesitate, not sure if it's appropriate, but you try not thinking too much, throwing your arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. You would never think twice about hugging him before your confession, there's no need for you to make it awkward now.

You're trying to get things back to the way they were and Jisung notices that, he's grateful. So the only thing he can do is wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you back.

Jisung didn't want to lie, but he's afraid it may be uncomfortable to you if he says he's not with Lia anymore. And he's afraid you'll be able to see right through him, see that he is giving in to the strange feelings he's trying so hard to avoid.

He ends up sleeping on Chan's couch, if he could call that ‘sleeping’. Everytime he closes his eyes, you show up in his mind, smiling, making a joke, just looking at him. Everytime he finally managed to fall asleep, you would be there, together with your boyfriend, giggling and kissing him while Jisung just watched. He would wake up sweating and stare at the ceiling for at least ten minutes before trying to sleep again.

>><<

After pondering what he wanted to do from now on, Jisung decided he should have some closure with Lia. He didn't like the way things ended with her, he really liked her until a certain point and above all, she is a good person. Even though he didn't want to, he ended up hurting her and he should apologize for that.

Awkward. That's the best word to explain the situation that Jisung finds himself in right now. Lia is on the other side of the table, glaring at him like she could kill him with the power of her mind.

“What is it that you want?” She asks, coldly.

He clears his throat, trying to gather some courage.

“I want to apologize”, he says, “I shouldn't have lead you on even though I already knew something was not right”, sighing he looks at her, biting his lower lip, “I'm just… confused, I ended up hurting you in the middle of this mess and I'm really sorry”

Lia looks at his eyes, staring deeply. She can feel his sincerity but she's not sure if only an apology is enough to make up for the pain he caused. She's not crazy, she knows people can't control how they feel most of the time. Maybe if he just admits he likes you, she'll feel at ease.

“So, have you finally accepted that you're in love with y/n?”

Jisung thinks for a bit, trying to put what he is feeling into words.

“I don't know if love is the right word”, he says, fidgeting with his fingers, “but I'm feeling some weird things around her, when she smiles or laughs, or even when she's doing nothing”, he covers his mouth with his hand in a slap, wide eyes, realizing he is talking about being in love with someone else with the girl that likes him.

Lia chuckles.

“It's alright, I'm pretty sure that's the definition of love though”, she sighs looking at Jisung. “Maybe you never felt that before”

It's not easy for her to be kind and comprehensive at the moment, but it's not like being mean is going to make him like her back. She's not actually even sure if she wants that anymore. Maybe her heart just accepted things ended, maybe she was already preparing herself for this since Han started acting differently, but the pain is not as great as she thought it would be. Maybe seeing him naively admitting his feelings made her have some sympathy for the mess he made of his relationship with you, maybe she didn't like him as much as she thought.

Since the beginning, there were too many maybes in this relationship. Lia knows she deserves better, she deserves someone who's sure about her, no maybes.

“I think I can forgive you, yeah”, she chuckles seeing Jisungs shocked face, “not now, obviously”, with a sigh, she looks deeply into his eyes, “you were always great to me before things started going wrong and I know you're not a bad person”, she stands up, “I'm actually feeling bad for you, with the mess you created I have no idea how you're going to fix it, but I'll cheer for you”, she puts her hand in his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. Lia leaves Jisung there, stuck in his head once more. At least that is something they both have in common, because he sure doesn't know how he's going to keep these strange feelings under control while fixing his relationship with you.

>><<

If Jisung had to rate his acting skills, he would be proud to say he deserves an award. He's succeeding at pretending not to be in love with you while maintaining a healthy friendship.

It's almost the same as it was before, except Jisung has to watch his every move. He's trying to act normal while trying to crush the onslaught of feelings in his chest everytime you laugh at one of his jokes, or when you just talk about your very normal day.

You both do your things during the day, have dinner together and talk or watch something before sleeping, that's your routine when Jeongho is not visiting.

You've been watching your phone lately, more than usual, is there something wrong? He's sure you're just waiting for Jeongho's call. Jisung has lost count of how many nights he spent listening to your laughs on the phone with your boyfriend, wishing it was him making you happy like that.

It's true, he's struggling. He's not sure how you managed to like him for so long without freaking out, because he's about to collapse and it's been just about a month since he came to terms with his feelings.

He feels bad just thinking about how much you must have suffered because of him, before and after your confession. Guilt is eating him alive, along with heartbreak.

He's been watching you for a while now, you are washing the dishes while talking about these kids you tutor and how smart they are, he's staring at you with heart eyes—you're not seeing—while he dries the dishes.

“I'm sure they can only learn so fast because it's you teaching them”, Jisung says.

You giggle to his compliment, bumping a shoulder into his.

“Should we watch a movie before going to bed?” You ask, drying your hands on your apron.

“I'm actually kinda sleepy”, Jisung laughs, he can only keep his feeling bottled for so long, he doesn't want to get careless and blurt out everything. He knows that if he gets too comfortable he'll feel at ease and you were always too good at making him tell you what's on his mind.

“Let's do it another time then”, you shrug, taking your phone out of your pocket and smiling when the screen brightens with Jeongho's name.

Han feels his chest tighten, he wants to throw up, he wants to cry, he wants to plead for you to not like someone else. But he can't do any of those things, not when you're so happy. So he won't be selfish, he'll think about you first and keep his distance.

>><<

It's been almost a month since the last time you saw Jeongho. He was not able to come by on the usual weekends because the company he works for is opening a new branch somewhere and he is involved in the project.

He's been busy, texting less and not even calling, so you start getting insecure. What if he's getting cold feet about your relationship? Maybe he met someone more interesting who's near him.

No. Jeongho wouldn't be like that. He would break up if he didn't like you anymore, you know him enough to know that.

When he calls saying he's coming to see you, you feel excited once again. You knew you were mistaken, it's not right to presume the worst just because he's a bit more busy. It must be nothing.

You just can't shake the feeling that you were going through the calm before the storm and now the bad weather is finally coming.

He's waiting for you at the restaurant of the hotel he's staying in, Jeongho is fidgeting with his fingers nervously, looking around until his eyes land on you. You smile at him, waving at him but he doesn't smile back.

“Hey”, you say, dropping your bag on the chair and sitting, “is there something wrong?”

“I received a promotion”, he says suddenly, he doesn't look happy about it.

“That's great”, you smile, taking his hand into yours to hold it, not really understanding his reaction.

He stares at your hands together, taking a deep breath before speaking again.

“Actually, the company wants me to go to Europe”, Jeongho says, fidgeting with his hands.

“Oh”, you frown, “for how long?”

“They are not sure about the exact period, but-”, he clears his throat, looking around, “they are projecting it to be between five and eight years”, he replies, feeling his breathing quickening.

“They want you to move there?” You repeat it to yourself, trying to absorb the information.

“They are trying to make an entry in the European market, so a team is needed there to develop the new branch”

“Okay, yeah”, you feel dizzy, “we can work with that, hm, I can- we can visit each other”, you nod, trying to organize your thoughts.

“Y/N-”, Jeongho starts, his voice fails and he stops for a moment before continuing. “Long distance works right now because we are a 2 hour flight away from each other, not 12 hours”

“What are you saying?” You feel all the air in your lungs escape, knowing exactly what he means but choosing not to believe it.

“I don't think we can keep doing this, I'm not sure our relationship is going to survive and-”, he sighs, running his hand through his hair, “I won't ask you to come with me”

“Why not? Why won't you ask me?” You plead, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. It's not logical what you're asking of him, but you don't want to hurt anymore, not again.

“How could I? I can't make you leave your whole life here, your family, your friends or college to go to a country where you know no one but me”, he explains, “I’ll be in charge of a large project, I'll have to stay late probably everyday and you're going to stay alone, how could I do that to you?”

“Don't you think that's for me to decide?” You ask, feeling your hands shaking. You put them in between your legs, trying not to show him the sight of your broken heart.

“I can't- I can't carry that guilt with me”, he says, “not knowing how happy you are here, if you go with me and things end up not working out I could never forgive myself”

“What if things work out? What if we are happy together forever? Did you consider it for a moment?” You ask, he's not looking at you. Jeongho is trying to hold his own tears, trying to be strong for you, “I guess this relationship is not worth you considering it”, you stand up, grabbing your bag.

He lifts his eyes to look at him, finding your quivering lips and the tears flooding from your eyes.

“Well, good luck then”, you tell him, turning around and walking out.

After walking far enough from the hotel, you let yourself crouch on the floor, scaring the people walking by. You are sobbing, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, but they keep coming continuously.

You stand up again, walking, what are you supposed to do now? When are things going to finally get better for you? Since you confessed to Jisung things got worse over and over, you should have never told him about your feelings, maybe your life would have stayed the same.

The hurt you felt seeing him with other people was a pain you were already used to, but this? This is excruciating, it's the same all over again, the same as when Jisung rejected you. Will you ever feel complete again?

It's 3 a.m, Jisung went to the studio to work for a bit and to try to forget about everything else. His phone buzzes in his pocket, when he looks at the screen, your name is there. He doesn't think twice about answering, just to find your drunk voice on the other side of the call. He can't understand a thing you're saying just that you'll share your location with him.

He grabs the keys to his car, running to the parking lot, he drives for about thirty minutes until arriving where you are. The bar is empty, there are only employees cleaning and you're laying on the counter, unconscious.

“It's been a while since we closed, but we let her stay inside since it looks like she went through something”, the bartender tells Han when he gets closer.

“Thank you”, Jisung says, before trying to wake you up with no success. He sighs, looking around and thinking about what to do.

He slides one of your arms around his neck, putting one of his hands behind your back for support and the other underneath your knees, lifting you up.

Your face is puffy, he can see it now that he's looking so closely, you probably cried a lot but what would make you cry like that?

Jisung glances at you a few times during the ride home. You groan, whining something in your sleep, even crying a bit. That makes him even more worried.

He repeats the process of picking you up when he parks in front of your apartment, carrying you inside. You whimper all the way to the apartment, he knows you can wake up at any moment.

Han sits you on your bed, taking your coat off and helping you lay down, covering you with a blanket after taking off your shoes. Your makeup is all smeared, so he picks a wet tissue and starts rubbing your face, trying to take off everything he can.

You open your eyes slowly, seeing Jisung with a focused expression while whipping your face.

“What are you doing?” You ask, making him jump. He was so concentrated he didn't even see you waking up.

“I was trying to take your makeup off”, he says, “it's not good for you to sleep with it on your face”

“How did I come home?” You look around, stumbling a bit over your words.

“You don't remember calling me?” He asks and you shake your head. “I went to the bar to pick you up”

Jisung is still whipping your face while he talks, that's when you remember why you were in the bar in the first place and tears run out of your eyes again.

“What happened? Why are you crying like this?” He asks worriedly, helping you sit on the bed.

“I don't- everything goes wrong for me”, you say, sobbing. “Maybe I'm the problem”

Jisung sighs, pulling you into a hug and holding you tightly, feeling your tears soak his shirt. He's worried and doesn't know what to do, should he call Hannah? Or Jeongho? Jisung knows you went to meet with him earlier… wait, did that guy do this to you?

After you stop sobbing for a while, Jisung realizes you fell asleep in his embrace. He lies you on the bed, covering you with the blanket once more. He leaves a glass of water and some hangover medicine on your nightstand so you can take in the morning and prepares his bed on the floor.

You wake up to the bright sunlight coming from the window, your head hurts like crazy and you're so thirsty it seems like a thousand years since you last drank something.

You take the hangover medicine and the water, while sitting down, still a bit dizzy. When your feet touch the floor, it's not the hard ground they meet but something soft. Why is Jisung sleeping by your bedside?

He doesn't look a bit comfortable, although he seems fast asleep. You start poking him, trying to make him wake up, causing your friend to jump and hold your arm.

“Are you alright?” He asks, eyes widened.

You frown at the sight, it's been a while since you last saw Jisung this startled.

“Yeah”, you answer and he can finally let out the breath he didn't even notice was being held. “Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

He looks around for a bit as if he didn't understand why you were asking such a thing.

“Oh, I- hm- I was afraid you would need something so I stayed here just in case”, he tells you and you nod.

It's not an uncommon occurrence for you two to do this kind of thing, even when you were living with your parents. When one of you got sick, it was a tradition to stay by each other's side until the other felt better.

When you moved in with him, naturally, your drinking habits grew since you didn't have to worry about your parents anymore. Jisung was responsible for taking care of you when you came home wasted after partying with Hannah or even when you drunk with him and the boys, he made sure to stay sober enough to still be able to take you home and help you get to your room safely.

“Oh”, you answer, “thank you”

He kept staring at you, waiting for something you're not sure what is.

“Do you want to talk about the reason you got wasted last night?” He asks, awkwardly and the pain comes back all at once.

It was so nice, the period of numbness after waking up from a deep sleep, you wish you could keep feeling that way. Now, your hands are trembling again, just like last night, tears are brimming in your eyes and your lips are quivering. It's obvious to Jisung, you're trying not to cry.

He gets up, collecting the things he used to sleep, without looking at you, he doesn't want to make you any more uncomfortable.

“We don't have to talk about it”, he says, putting the blanket and pillow back in your wardrobe. “Do you want me to call Hannah?” He asks and you stare at him for a moment, nodding to his question, not really wanting to look at your phone.

You're scared Jeongho contacted you, you don't want to see him. But more than anything, you're scared he didn't try talking to you at all, because that means everything is really over.

It's pathetic, you know that break ups happen. But Jeongho was the first guy to ever make you feel the closest to what you ever felt for Jisung, no other could do that and you're scared no one ever will.

Hannah gets to your place about an hour after Jisung called her. She's huffing, hair messed up and puffy face.

“Were you sleeping?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath, seeing that you're okay.

“I'm going to kill that guy”, she yells out of the door to your room, “he made it seems like you were dying or something”

“If I was dying I'm pretty sure he would have taken me to the hospital”, you point out.

Hannah rolls her eyes, dropping her bag on the floor. Closing the door, she walks slowly to sit on your bed, she can clearly see that you cried a lot.

“So, did something happen?” She asks, you avoid her gaze, looking at anything but her face. You find your fingers much more interesting than any part of this conversation, actually. So you pay attention to them, playing on your lap.

“It's nothing”, you answer.

Hannah sighs, if you don't want to talk about it, it means it's bad.

“We don't have to talk about it right now”, she stretches her hand, taking yours and squeezing it. “But you will have to talk about it eventually”

It's your time to sigh now, she's right, you know that, but talking about it makes it real and you don't want it to be real.

“Jeongho broke up with me”, you rip the bandaid all at once.

Hannah gasps, she's speechless. How can this be? She thought he was head over heels for you, so why?

“His company is sending him to Europe and he doesn't want to do long distance”, you feel the tears brimming into your eyes again, voice cracking, “or take me with him”

It's the first time in her life Hannah doesn't know what to say. Your love life is such a mess, worse than hers, so she doesn't have any advice or any comfort to give you.

“Honey, I…”, she tries, but what is she supposed to say? ‘I am sorry?’, that's not it, ‘he is an asshole?’ nothing of the sort.

Looking from outside the situation, Jeongho is being logical, they still are in their honeymoon phase of the relationship, everything is perfect at that time. For most people, problems start to arise after some time. However, when you're in love, you don't want logical outputs, you want what your heart wants.

Hannah is saved by a knock on the door. Han's head pops inside the room and he observes for a moment trying to assess the situation.

“I bought some things you like”, he says, “I'll be going out, so you have the apartment all to yourselves”

He wants you to feel comfortable right now, he doesn't know exactly what happened but you're sad. Jisung knows just letting you enjoy your afternoon with Hannah in the apartment is not going to make things better for whatever is making you feel so down, but he knows you are going to feel livelier after some time with Hannah.

He goes out with Hyunjin, who's buying a present for his mother. It's hot, so if his friend didn't ask very nicely he wouldn't have accepted to go to the mall, since they have to wear hoods and masks. The fact that you're home, crying your eyes out for something he has no clue about, made him want to go out too. It hurts seeing you sad and it's even worse because he can't do anything about it, not when he doesn't know what's happening.

They are looking at bags, maybe he should get you something? You are not really a materialistic person, he's not sure if giving you an expensive present is going to help at all, maybe he should get you that webtoon print you've been talking about, they should definitely have it in the bookstore next door.

When Jisung turns around to tell Hyunjin they should stop at the bookstore, he sees Jeongho. He's looking at bags too, trying to figure out which one he should choose.

Is he giving you a gift too? Maybe he did something and you fought, that's why you were crying so much. Even remembering the way you cried as soon as you woke up makes his heart ache.

Jisung walks to Jeongho, not sure how to initiate a conversation but he feels like he should try and help in some way.

“Hey”, he says, watching Jeongho turn around and look at him.

“Jisung, how are you doing?” He asks, arms crossed in front of chest.

“Fine, are you choosing a gift for y/n?” He asks, awkwardly, “I don't think she likes purple”, he points out observing the bags Jeongho was looking at.

“It's actually for my mother”, he clears his throat, frowning, “didn't y/n tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Jisung asks, confused and Jeongho nods.

“So she didn't”, he sighs, “we broke up”, he struggles to say it.

Jisung's eyes dart directly to Jeongho's face, now he can see the eyebags on his face and how tired he looks.

“Why?” Jisung panics, you shouldn't have to go through another heartbreak.

“I don't think it's something you should know about, if she didn't tell you”, Jeongho shrugs.

“Well, can't you fix it? Whatever it is that is wrong?” He asks, carefully.

Jeongho sighs, he wishes there was something he could do about it, but he's a coward who's too afraid of taking such a big step in the beginning of a relationship.

“I’m afraid I can't”, he says, “take care of her”

Jisung is speechless, he has no idea what to do, so he just watches as Jeongho chooses a gift and walks tiredly out of the store.

Jisung arrives after killing some time outside, he was out for almost the entire day and hopes that you could enjoy a bit of your day with Hannah. He doesn't know if he should bring up his encounter with Jeongho or if he should talk about what your, now ex, boyfriend told him.

He shouldn't mention it, if you didn't tell him about it, it's because you're not ready for you to know and he gets that. Han is not sure about what he's feeling. It hurts his heart to see you in so much pain but he doesn't want to overstep the boundaries you're setting.

So when he enters the house, he sees you and Hannah watching a movie, he greets you both and goes to his room. You clearly cried more since he left and he won't be able to stay in your presence without trying to comfort you.

>><<

Things are difficult for you at the moment. Even though your love for Jeongho never got to its full potential, it's still love. You're mourning what you could have had with him had things been different, you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep anymore, feeling your chest hurting and remembering it's over.

It all sank in when he didn't contact you anymore, you're sure he's hurting too but you had hoped that you two could find a solution around this cruel puzzle.

“Should we go out?” Hannah asks while you're watching a drama, burying your sorrows in ice cream.

“I'm not really in the mood”, you say. You haven't cried for some time now, you're too tired, maybe your tears finally dried up.

“I know you don't feel like it”, Hannah sighs, looking at your apathetic face, worriedly, “but I think you should have some fresh air, you have been stuck in this apartment for a week now, it's not healthy”

You sigh, she's right, you know she is, but you can't really find the strength to doll up and go out.

“We don't have to go to a party or anything crowded”, she says, seeing the resigned look on your face. “We can just go to a cafe or something, anything”, she pleads.

You nod, sighing in defeat, maybe a walk can really lift your mood a bit.

Hannah jumps out of the sofa, taking the ice cream from your hands. She talks excitedly about what kind of things you two can do but can't really follow what she's saying, your head is still numb.

You walk around for a bit, looking at clothes in the stores nearby, doing just about anything to think of anything but your break up.

It's already night when you two decide to eat something, there's this restaurant that's kinda hidden so there's not many people eating when you arrive. It's not the first time you eat there, it's a nice and cozy place so you come by when you're needing a little bit of peace.

“Y/N?” You hear a familiar voice calling you, making you turn around to find Lia. She's smiling, there's a man accompanying her. “It's been a while”, she says after telling the man to look for a place for them to sit.

“Hey, yeah it does”, you smile politely. Lia can see the huge eyebags you have and the wide eyes your friend has looking at her.

“Are you alright?” She asks, noticing you barely touched your food.

“Yeah”, you lie, “what about you?” You ask, eyeing the guy who's now looking at his phone while waiting for Lia.

“I'm okay”, she smiles shyly, “it's not easy, you know? But I'm trying to move on, meet new people”

You frown, not really understanding what she's talking about.

“I hope we can still be on friendly terms even though Jisung and I are over”, Lia says, regrets immediately when she sees your eyes widen. He didn't tell you. Shit.

“I didn't know you guys were not together anymore”, Hannah is the one to talk, stealing Lia's attention from your shocked face.

“Yeah, hm, it's been a while actually. I thought he would have already told you everything by now”, she says apologetically. “Well, Han Jisung, let's say that now we are even”, she thinks.

“I should probably go!” Lia points out to the man who's staring impatiently. She waves goodbye to you and walks towards him, afraid she'll tell you something more she's not supposed to.

You find yourself in the dark, seated at the sofa, arms crossed in front of your chest. You can't believe you had to hear from someone other than Jisung about his relationship status. You're mad at him, you were making an effort so things could go back to the way they were so why isn't he acting like he wants that too?

Before, he would tell you everything about his romantic endeavors and even though it hurted, you felt special, knowing every little thing about him. Now, you feel like you know nothing, he's spending less time with you and every time you try doing anything just the two of you, he avoids it like you would jump his bones or something if you stay alone with him for more than two hours.

You may have not gotten over him completely, but you're fine now and for years you could behave yourself, so you're not sure why he's acting like that.

You hear the door being open, Han’s voice comes out in a discussion, he's on the phone. He walks in, putting his phone in his pocket while trying to find his way in the dark. He jumps at the sight of you on the sofa, staring at him with a scowl.

“Jesus christ, y/n”, he says, putting his hand above his heart, “what the hell are you doing there in the dark?”

He turns on the light, turning back at you. You're still staring at him in silence.

“Why didn't you tell me you and Lia are not together anymore?” You stand up, waiting for his answer.

“W-what?” His standing falters and he takes a step back. “How did you know?”

“Clearly I didn't find out from my best friend”, you scoff. “Did you think I would try making a move on you if you are single?”

Jisung frowns, how the hell did you get to that conclusion?

“No, I-”

“I'm sure you already figured Jeongho and I broke up”, you point out, “but you rejected me, I'm over that already”

“I can see why you would think that”, Jisung says carefully, “considering the way I acted when you confessed, but it's not that, I can assure you”

“I'm trying to have a normal relationship with you, you know, but you're just not the same. You don't spend time with me anymore, you don't talk to me about what's on your mind, the only thing I can think is that you're scared of me”

“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I'm trying to act normally too, it's just-” Jisung cuts himself off, not sure what to say. At the same time he doesn't know what to say to make you stop thinking like that, he's not sure things will get any better if he tells you the truth.

“What's it? Just tell me so I can fix it, please I-”

“I'm in love with you”, he blurts out, hand instantly going to his chest and clenching the place above his heart. “I'm so in love with you it hurts”

You stumble back, almost falling. Did you hear it right?

“I don't think I understand”, you say, frowning, trying to make sense of his words.

“I feel terrible, I rejected you and made you suffer just for me to feel like this now?” He scoffs, “I'm sorry I made you think you are the problem again, but you're not, I am. I'm the one who can't stay close to you because I'm afraid I'll do something that will ruin our friendship”

You get up, trying to function properly after this sudden confession. Never, in your wildest dreams did you think there would come a day when Jisung would actually love you in the way you most desperately once wanted. You fantasized about it for years but you never really thought it would happen for real.

“I can't do this right now”, you say to him, seeing his shoulders slump. The sad look in your face is what he most feared. Jisung didn't expect you to still like him, but it would be a lie to say he didn't have any hope of you telling him he still has a chance.

“I don't expect you to like me back”, he says, voice cracking a bit when he tries to say the words he least want to, “I just don't want you to think I'm avoiding you because of you, it's because of me”

You nod slowly, still not fully recovered from the shock. You walk past him, not saying anything anymore, just entering your room and closing the door silently. This was definitely unexpected.

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.

Taglist(closed):

@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @vlctorriaa @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq @luvbangchan @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @armystay89 @literallyjustwanttoread @jisunghannie @jungkookies1002 @diorggukie @channieandhisgoonsquad @mamabymychem @ladylexis @bmnyy

[starvity]

hi! i love your writing, im so shocked to find someone with the same ults as me ^ i was hoping you could maybe write a protective gunwook scenario? the idea of him always thinking he needs to protect you from others (even when he is a little scared himself,) is rlly heart wrenching.

like !;!!,!,! imagine him pulling you behind him slightly with a serious voice but you can feel him shaking a bit. 🥹 hes too precious rlly we dont deserve him.

— ☆ follow your steps

gn!reader x zb1 gunwook

genre: angst, student!au, fluff?, gunwook and you as the popular class presidents // warnings: bullying, blood, violence, jealousy

author’s note: i was originally going for a happy ending because angst makes me feel so bad but no i like to make us (yes, myself included...) suffer today :D (you'll be fine) also omg ult twins!!!! you’ve got insane taste btw hehe <3 (★ω★)/ [requested♡]

gunwook and you were two of the most popular students in the entire school. you two being the two class presidents, you can often be seen together to work on projects or just share ideas on future plans to improve your lifestyle. it had started with a pure academic motive. meeting up after classes at the library to talk about the recent complains from the students and how you could find a solution to those. after a few weeks though, you found it less and less of a burden to stay late at school and, if you dare to say, you were excited to do your duty as a model student simply and solely to spend some time with gunwook.

and the other students were quick to catch up that maybe you two had become much closer than expected and let's say people were not very happy about it. you were aware of how popular you were just by counting how many love letters would be squished in your locker on valentine's day and how many students would wait for gunwook to clean the classroom until sometimes 5 or 6 to hand them a cheap snack and hearing a few words from him, a simple hello and thank you. and you hated how that popularity made all your relationships feel fake and forced. but when you were with gunwook, everything felt so light and casual. for the very first time, you felt like you didn't need to keep a facade and felt like you could finally be yourself.

gunwook was already waiting for you at the quiet and empty library as he had finished his classes earlier than you. he took the chance to grab a drink for both of you, thinking that it could maybe cheer you up after this long day. gunwook noticed that you still hadn't arrived after 20 minutes and assumed that you were probably talking to your teacher or helping your friends with their assignments like you usually do. therefore, he starts working, his glasses resting on the tip of his nose, almost sliding off. his chin was placed on the palm of his hand, his index occasionally taping his upper lip and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. almost 45 minutes since your class ended and you still were nowhere to be seen. the boy starts to get worried and he goes looking for you, considering that a walk around the school would also empty his mind a bit.

"i already told you we are just friends, nothing else" you state firmly, glaring at the group of students circling you. the girl in front of you, who seemed to be the "leader" of the crowd steps on your foot, lasers shooting through her eyes. you wince in pain but keep your composure and replies calmly "have you maybe considered that your terrible attitude might be the reason gunwook doesn't want to have anything to do with you, with all of you guys? he wouldn't even befriend and even less date any of you guys." you suddenly feel a boy grab your hair from your right while another person twists your arm from your left. despite the pain you keep your head up, smirking at her while some blood from the punches received earlier was staining your lips "and what if we were more than that?" her eyes turn dark and you know you're about to receive either a slap or a punch, or worse, in the next 5 seconds.

but those 5 seconds were enough for gunwook to find you and quickly stand between you two. he takes a glance at you from over his shoulder and his heart aches seeing the state they left you in. he orders them to leave you alone with a shaky voice but the only response is a couple of chuckles. all of a sudden, the crowd takes a few steps ahead, slowly closing the gap between you. gunwook takes your hand in his, he was trembling and he could barely murmur a sorry with the tears building in his eyes. and the boy had never felt so much shame and disappointment in himself before this moment when he understood that he won't be able to protect you this time.

[dingochef]

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x You (OFC)

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), Angst with a Happy Ending, Stalking, P in V, oral (female and male receiving), Semi-public sex, light spanking,

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary:

Another day, another stupid man to deal with. You run into a familiar face when you go to meet up with the face and person that's been on your mind all day.

Masterlist

Chapter 4

Chapter 5: Nancy Drew and the Instagram Account

You start your Sunday early to beat the sun and the heat. Your cycling group is meeting up on the San Diego waterfront just as the sun rises. The day is clear and just a bit crisp. You revel in the chill now as it will heat up soon, especially with the hilly route on deck for today. The ride starts easily with the Bay Shore Bikeway up to La Jolla then it heats up with a trip to the top of Mount Soledad, the ride down is fast enough that you can feel the moisture in your eyes being wicked away by the arid dry air. The rest of the course skirts around the eastern edges and suburbs of San Diego. After a few stops for water and some snacks to keep you energized, the ride winds down at about 2 pm where you started. You start packing away some of your gear and sit to change your shoes to get on the ferry. As you're tying the laces on your shoes, a shadow looms over you.

“Elsa, how’s it going?”

Bill asks. Of course it’s Bill, he does this every time the group meets.

“I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me tonight, like a date?”

Bill is nice, but he’s also a good 20 years older than you and more like your father than is comfortable in the dating scene.

“Sorry Bill, answer’s still the same, no. Besides I have plans tonight,” the thought of Jake brings an unconscious smile to your lips.

“Come on, Elsa, you’ve got to give in sometime, I’m just trying to be a nice guy. It’s just one date, I’ll cook you dinner at my house, a little wine, it’ll be a nice night. You gotta say yes.”

You sigh, knowing that what is going to come out your mouth next is going to make the next meet up the group awkward as fuck, but you can deal with akward.

“Bill, how many times have you asked me out?”

He shrugs,

“A lot, I guess.”

“And I always say no. What makes you keep asking when you get the same answer? That’s the literal definition of insanity.”

“I figure persistence pays off and besides I’m a nice guy, give me a chance.”

“Bill, the answer today, tomorrow, and every time in the future is going to be no. N. O. I don’t want to date some overbearing guy who has no respect for what I say and what boundaries I draw. Being a “nice guy” doesn’t entitle you to a date.”

By this time others in the cycling group are starting to notice the exchange. Millie, who is a retired Navy Captain, steps over to see what’s going on.

“Jeez, Elsa, you don’t have to be such a bitch about it.”

“Bill, if you think this is me being a bitch, buckle up buttercup, you haven’t seen anything yet. I can’t help that your sense of language comprehension and pattern recognition is that of a four-year old, you sad old man. No means no. We’re done here.”

You start to walk your bike towards the ferry terminal and Millie runs over to catch up.

“You okay?” she asks, giving you a side hug.

“Yeah, just tired of dealing with Bill’s bullshit week after week. I just want to come ride and hang out with friends. Not ward off old dudes trying to get into my pants.”

“We’ll take care of it, Bill’s out of the group, easy peasy,”

Millie says. Millie is one of the founding members of the cycling group and part of a kick-ass group of older retired military women who deal with exactly zero shit from anyone.

“Thanks, Millie, I appreciate that. I gave him so many outs, but he kept coming back into the danger zone.”

She shrugs,

“Some people are just dumb. You did good back there. Do you need anyone to see you home in case he gets weird about it?”

“No, keep him occupied for about 15 minutes while I get on the ferry and I’ll be good.”

You give Millie a hug and wave goodbye as you get on your bike to ride the last little distance to the ferry. When you get home you jump into the shower to rinse all of the day’s gross parts off, real and metaphorical.

As you're getting out of the shower you hear your phone ding:

Lydia: So you and Hangman, becoming a thing? A baseball game (glad you found a dork that likes baseball) and dinner at what I know is your favorite restaurant (the tapas place in the Gaslamp Quarter.) It's like you’re putting your best moves on him.

You: I'm not putting my moves on him, you and I both know I have exactly zero moves. He offered up the baseball game as amends for being a jackass the other night at the bar. I was hungry after the game so I invited him along.

Lydia: Liar. Liar. Pants on fire! 🔥 You asked him on the dinner date. I pressed him for the deets when he mentioned going to the Padres game that I saw on your Instagram. And he crumbled like a lovesick fool. Between asking for your number and him coming back practically skipping and whistling I figured it out.

You: Alright, Nancy Drew, Girl Detective you got it right. It was Colonel Mustard in the library with a wrench.

Lydia: What are you even talking about?

You: How have you never played a game of Clue?

You: Nevermind.

Lydia: So…..how was he in the sack? These Navy guys are fucking built.

You: We only made it to my porch.

Lydia: Ooh, outdoor sex. Adventurous.

You: Not that! We just had some really nice kissing that ventured into a bit of heavy petting. And then I said good night.

Lydia: Right. And you have plans with him tonight. You like like him!

You: How did you know about that?

Lydia: The walls here are hilariously thin. You can hear everything that happens here.

You: So Jake mentioned. How was that mustache ride?

Lydia: De-fucking-lightful. 10/10 would highly recommend.

You: I'll remember that yelp review when I'm in search of a mustache ride which will be…..never. Seriously, what's up with the stache? Did he lose a bet?

Lydia: Didn't come (heh heh) up in conversation.

You: You are the worst. Talk to you later, remember to keep hydrated with all the sexing you’re doing.

Lydia: Smooches & Byeeee!

You shake your head at the conversation you just had with Lydia. Before you put your phone down you text Jake to set up the now infamous drink date tonight.

You: So, we still on for drinks tonight? How does 7 at the Hard Deck sound?

You don’t expect a reply right away and put your phone on the charger and head over to the couch with a giant jug of water and make plans to watch some TV and chill for the rest of the afternoon. Somewhere, around an hour later when you've already watched two documentaries on WWII aircraft your phone dings. In what can be described as an all out sprint you rush to your phone.

Jake: That sounds like a date. See you there. Maybe this time I'll get to buy you more than one drink, (my turn.)

You: See you then.

It's about 4 pm now, which gives you enough time to whip up a nice curry for dinner and still have time to gussy up for your date. This is actually date date.

Getting ready to go out has become more of a challenge than you anticipated. You've pulled out every dress you own and rejected each one twice. You're looking for that "Oh just drinks, you just threw on whatever to come here." Your goal is effortless grace, not "I totally overthinked every aspect of my appearance and maybe had a slight panic attack." In frustration you call Lydia, breathlessly shouting out as soon as she answers,

"You actually have fashion sense, what should I wear?"

The cackle comes out of the phone speaker first and then her reply,

"Just drinks, riiight. You’re actually trying to impress him aren't you? This is adorable, Elsa has found someone to melt her frozen heart or other parts."

She snorts at her own terrible joke and you can practically hear her eyebrows rising up and down on her forehead.

"Don't overthink it like you usually do. Wear the magenta dress with the nice flowy skirt. It'll be easy to get off later."

There's a muffled male voice in the background saying something like "Come back to bed, baby."

"Are you still at Rooster's? How are you not chafed or unable to walk?"

"No, we actually ventured out for some beach time and came back to mine, a whole lot more privacy. By the way, I might have heard a certain someone moaning another person's name last night when he presumably was taking care of his blue balls courtesy of you. Well, have fun, do something I would do, Byeeee!"

You, for some reason, follow Lydia's advice and wear the suggested dress. Wearing a bra with this dress is impossible due to the plunging back. Lydia knew exactly what she was doing when she suggested this particular dress. Scanning your underwear drawer you spot a pair of black lace boy shorts that you know make your ass look really good. After setting a light curl into your dark brown, almost black hair, you leave it down to cascade down your shoulders and back. Minimal make-up, you're always going for the natural look, but for some reason you pick a darker magenta shade of lipstick that complements the dress. You grab a light sweater and your purse and you're out the door. The walk over to the Hard Deck is nice and cool and calming. The butterflies in your stomach start to flutter as you approach the door and it hits you that you actually want to impress him tonight. It's an exhilarating and terrifying concept at the same time, what are you getting yourself into?

You don't really have time to delve into your brain after that idea as I've arrived at the Hard Deck. You push open the door and pull your sweater off. Despite it being a Sunday night the place is pleasantly buzzing with a steady hum of voices and glasses clinking together and onto tabletops around the bar. You scan the crowd and don't spot Jake anywhere so you make your way up to the bar. At the bar there's is a familiar bomber jacket and black head of hair.

"As I live and breathe, it's Maverick. And in one piece,"

You say as you sit on the open bar stool next to him. He's halfway through a swig of beer when he turns and makes the connection that it’s you sitting next to him.

"Elsa! What brings you to this place?"

"Meeting a friend for a drink."

Penny comes over and asks,

"The usual?"

You nod yes. Maverick says,

“Put that on my tab, I owe this gal a drink for stepping in as my temporary guardian angel."

Penny looks a bit confused at the statement but shrugs and goes to make your drink.

"I should be asking you the same thing, what brings you down to North Island? I thought you were just going to carry on at the Skunk Works."

He takes a swig of his beer and shrugs, "The usual pissed off an Admiral. They weren't overly impressed with me breaking "the project" apart." He uses air quotes to reference the Darkstar hypersonic stealth jet you were both working on and he was serving as the test pilot.

"I'm teaching at Top Gun for a few weeks. While the Navy decides your fate for me."

He leans over to whisper,

"Thank you for saving my life, there's no other reason I'm alive other than your life pod."

"How did it perform?" you ask quietly.

"Like riding a mattress down and landing on a marshmallow, so perfectly. Next time can you get it to drop me off near civilization rather in the middle of an orange grove near Fresno?"

You laugh,

"Jeez, so needy, not only do I save your life and give you a gentle ride back to earth, you want door to door service. I'll see what I can do."

You glance over to the door to see Jake coming through the door; he instantly scans the crowd and locks in on you. You catch his eyes and then turn back to Maverick and say,

"I'd love to get together to pick your brain on other impressions on "the project". Thanks for the drink. I’m glad you’re alive."

You lean in to hug Maverick.

Your drink has appeared on the bar and by the time Jake has jostled his way through the crowd to the bar you can see that the expression on his face has turned from that panty dropper smile to confusion and a bit of jealousy.

He swaggers up to the bar and gives you a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Both Maverick and Jake are looking at each other confused and startled.

"Hey, Captain, didn't think you'd be back here after the other night." Jake says with that patented smirk.

Maverick winks and says,

"I like the company and the scenery."

He nods his head towards Penny. You cock your head with a questioning look. Maverick sheepishly replies,

"We have a complicated…history.".

Jake asks, his signature smirk in full force,

"How do you know Elsa or are you hitting on women who are half your age and out of your league, now?"

Chapter 6

@mayhemmanaged

@callmemana

@dempy

@hangmanscoming

@lanie-k

@callsign-viper

@senjoritanana

[x-stephanie-sinnz-x]

I fucked 66 guys in 11 days

A few weeks ago, I came across a page with various sex challenges. One that really jumped out at me was the chain challenge. The idea is that each day, you have to fuck at least one more person than you did the last day, with the goal being to go for as many days as possible in a row. So day 1 you fuck one person, day 2 you fuck 2 people, day 3 you fuck 3 people and so on. Or you could fuck 8 people on day 2, but then you'd have to fuck at least 9 people on day 3. People you fucked previous days also don't count towards current days, so if you fucked someone for day 2, you couldn't fuck them again day 3 and have them count towards the goal.

I had just been with a fuck buddy the night before I read this, so I figured now would be the best time to do it.

Days 2 and 3 were relatively uneventful. Day 2 I fucked 2 other fuck buddies separately. Day 3 I fucked 1 more separately and 2 others at the same time. With that, my nearby fuck buddies were pretty much depleted for the challenge though.

On day 4 I had to reach out to more distant hookups and had to drive around a bit. This meant I fucked all 4 separately, and I did the same for the first couple guys of day 5, until I had run out of convenient new people to fuck. So I organized a couple guys through tinder to round it off.

For whatever reason just 5 guys (none at the same time😕) wasn't enough for me, so I got 4 of the guys from the first few days to fuck me again that evening (since I had already fucked them earlier in the challenge, they didn't count towards new dicks). *They* were all 4 at once, so that satisfied me for a bit. But this was just a horny kind of day, because even once they left I became horny again, and I got 2 of the 6 guys who would fuck me the next day to meet up with me just past midnight when the clock for the challenge reset.

For the rest of day 6, I only had to fuck 4 people, and had the wonderful idea of getting older men to pay me a decent amount of money for absolutely nothing in exchange, and then they got sex for free (I don't know how much I'm allowed to talk about this on Reddit). Anyway, this was largely the norm for days 7-10, and with these men along with tinder dates, I didn't find much of a shortage of guys to fuck. During these days, not too much happened that I would've written a story on here about in isolation. Most of them wore condoms, I didn't have any gigantic gangbangs, it all happened behind closed doors. I got a few new people I think I'll be fucking on a more regular basis now, but nothing really crazy or stupid. That's day 11.

My goal was to make it to double digits, and I did. So I figured I'd end it there, after one more day without having to worry about the number of guys I fucked. Day 11 fell on a Friday, and by chance, the very same person whose 4th of July party I went to a month before (literally exactly a month before, maybe it's a monthly thing?) invited me to another decently large party at her house (really, I didn't plan it this way, but I would've figured out something similar regardless). Now, she obviously knew exactly what she was getting into. She saw me last time, and now was directly inviting me again. So here's what I did: I got a friend to write 'Fuck my Face' across my tits with arrows pointing to my mouth (directly inspired by [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/BodyWriting/comments/gzzhqr/yank_my_choker_while_you_fuck_my_mouth/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)), and ''Cumdump' right above my pussy. I put on a collar with the word 'Slut' on it and attached a leash to it. I put in a butt plug with a tail (this would quickly be discarded), and high heels (also quickly discarded). For the drive there, I had a bathrobe near me just in case but never ended up wearing it.

The host (Sophia's) house is more or less in the middle of nowhere. There are neighbors, but they aren't very closeby. So once I got there, I figured I'd start outside, since I didn't take that opportunity last time. I noticed several people I'm pretty sure I remembered from last time, but since I can't remember everyone I don't know how many guys I fucked that I'd never fucked before. I hadn't fucked any of them for the challenge yet though, except for one. Pretty much everyone else was wearing swimsuits since there's a pool there, and there was a pretty even split of people between the backyard and inside.

As I entered the backyard, I unsurprisingly felt quite a few eyes turn towards me. I heard Sophia's voice say "I fucking knew it!" as she stood up in the pool. I guess she really had been hoping for me to turn up like this😂 We talked for a bit as she got out of the pool, which felt a bit awkward with everyone staring at me (though to be fair they could've also been staring at Sophia. Her bikini was pretty eye-grabbing).

So when the time was right, keeping in line with how I was last time, I gestured to the writing on my tits and pussy, and asked "anyone want to?" I knew the answer; I saw guys who had fucked me out in the open a month ago there now in the backyard.

I don't think I even spoke at all to the first guy before he fucked me. Even though he tried to walk with me into the house and upstairs to fuck in private before realizing I hadn't moved an inch lol. He eventually conceded and we fucked outside. That opened the gates for a couple more guys who were hesitant. But it didn't take too much outdoor sex before I realized it really just wasn't comfortable. I already knew fucking in a pool wasn't especially fun and didn't want to drive the people currently there out, so we moved inside. I sat at the edge of the living room couch, legs spread, butt plug having been discarded a while ago. Fucking there lasted a while, and I got up to 3 cocks in me at once.

The people there must have at least been somewhat expecting me, because basically the whole time I heard very few shocked noises like I did last time. The people there seemed to really enjoy watching me as more and more cum piled up on my face and tits (and pussy, don't forget it was labeled 'cumdump'), and a few congratulated me when I got up to take breaks. The leash and body writing I think really contributed to the experience, since a lot of guys were less hesitant to go rougher with me than last time. Lots of grabbing the leash and throatfucking. I honestly didn't keep count of how many fucked me, but in total across the whole night, it was definitely more than 10.

A little while into this, something unexpected happened: two other girls joined me. One of them was Sophia, the host of the party, and the other was a girl named Ava. It didn't take too long to realize that they were both doing this because they were very drunk, and they'd started to fuck in the pool before moving inside. Sophia was just fucking her boyfriend, but Ava was able to fuck whoever she wanted, including me! So I got to experience a first here, in fucking a girl in front of a crowd at one of these parties, instead of just guys!

A while after the sex wound down, and we were all covered and filled with cum, Ava and I showered together. Of course, I had no clothes to change back into so I was pretty much just casually naked the rest of the party, and even though Ava had worn a bikini earlier, she decided to go naked too. Not a whole lot more sexually happened at the party, but it was a great way to end off my chain challenge.

(Story not my own)

[fadedstarsfms]

Bianca Gagliardi Intro

MAGGIE, 21+, CST; SHE/HER. | if you’re hearing RIVER LEA by ADELE playing, you have to know BIANCA GAGLIARDI (SHE/HER; CIS WOMAN ) is near by! the 44 year old OWNER OF SUNSET SOUNDS has been in denver for, like, 6 YEARS. they’re known to be quite DISORGANIZED, but being PASSIONATE seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble MELANIE LYNSKEY. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those WORRIED YOU’LL TURN INTO YOUR PARENTS, DOING ANYTHING FOR YOUR FAMILY, & WANTING TO FEEL LIKE HOME SOMEWHERE vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the MONTBELLO DISTRICT long enough! 

★𝘽𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙘 𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣★

Nickname Sometimes: Bee Birth Date: June 20, 1978 Zodiac: Gemini Gender: Cis Woman Pronouns: She/Her Sexual & Romantic Orientation: Bisexual

★𝘼𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚★

Height: 5′7″ Faceclaim: Melanie Lynskey Hair color/style: Medium, Brown, Curly Eye color: Dark Brown Tattoos: A flower on her ankle

★𝙋𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮★

Positive Traits: Passionate, Empathetic, Friendly Neutral Traits: Persistent, Noncommittal, Outgoing Negative Traits: Disorganized, Defensive, Impulsive Fears: Big bodies of water, Ending up like her parents Goals: To feel like she's at home, To be closer to her family Hobbies: Listening to music, Crocheting, Dancing

★𝙋𝙖𝙨𝙩★

Hometown: Back of a van Education: Homeschooled enough to get her degree and no more Mother: She has one Father: She has one Siblings: Vincent Gagliardi (twin) (penned by Victoria) , Marco Gagliardi-Fortier (penned by Marcy) , & many others (give us more please) Children: Addison Gagliardi (penned by Gemz)

★𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩★

Residence: Montebello District Job: Owner of Sunset Sounds Significant Others: No one currently How Long She’s Been Here: Six years

★𝘽𝙞𝙤𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙝𝙮★

pregnancy tw

It's not every day that you can meet someone that says they traveled with a carnival for their entire childhood but The Gagliardi's aren't just any family. Their parents were fortune tellers and thought it was a perfect place to raise their six children. At first Bianca thought nothing of it but the more that she saw what children with normal childhoods were like the more she realized that was all she ever wanted. While Vince was more than willing to help out their parents with their younger siblings, Bianca just wanted to live her own life.

As a teenager she could have been around more, and she regrets that now, but she would always run off when the carnival went up and explored the towns they were in. In one of the towns she came across the local record store and absolutely fell in love with the aesthetic and all the music so readily available at her finger tips. Each city they went to she always made sure to check out the record shops and get at least one record from each place, a collection she still has to this day.

When Bianca was young the carnival stopped for a couple of weeks in one city and she met a local. Their relationship and love were fast and by the end of the two weeks there was no way she was going to leave him behind. Saying goodbye to her family and the life that she knew, Bianca stayed behind and got a taste of what it was like to stay in one place for an extended amount of time. By their third month together he had proposed and wanted a wedding that was just as fast paced as they were. Bianca thought it was meant to be until she was standing up alone like a fool with no groom beside her on what was supposed to be their wedding day.

To this day she still doesn't know why he didn't show, but she can only assume he got cold feet. She tucked her tail between her legs and joined up with the carnival once again, a few weeks later finding out she was pregnant. Not wanting to give her baby the same life she had, Bianca once again said goodbye to her loved ones and settled down to stay in one place no matter how much she was unhappy being away from her siblings, she had her child and that was all she needed.

Six years ago Bianca could tell that Vince was really upset about his wife leaving and Bianca knew in an instant she needed to be there for him. So she packed up everything and moved to Denver without a second thought, even buying a space so she could have her dream of owning her own record store. The more her siblings moved to Colorado the more she felt truly at home.

If you were to ask Bianca if she had any psychic powers like her twin or her parents she'd vehemently say no. But she always tends to know what type of mood someone is in, she claims it's due to their choice in music but she fails to see that there might be something more to it.

★𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨★

Employees - have you ever seen Empire Records? it's a great movie about a bunch of young adults working in a record store, that's what this is like. her employees are like family and she'd love all of them

Frequent Fliers - maybe you come to Sunset Sounds all the time, she'd recognize you and always want to talk music

THE Ex - maybe this will be an official wc someday but do you want to be the baby daddy and the guy who left her at the alter? so much drama and angst

Ex's, FWB, Crush - she closed herself off to love after being left at the alter, so she would have a hard time committing to something

Neighbors - she's been in the same place for a while now and would absolutely try to be friends with everyone around her

Really give me anything she's new and I think she'll be fun!

★𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩★

River Lea by Adele

Two Slow Dancers by Mitski

Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush

A Case of You by Joni Mitchell

Tiny Dancer by Elton John

And Then She Kissed Me by St. Vincent

Harvest Moon by Neil Young

99 Luftballoons by Nena

I Saw Her Again by The Mamas and the Papas

River by Leon Bridges

[jalwoorideul]

You Make Me Stay

synopsis: in which valerie has thoughts of quitting

warning: angst, emotional breakdown, feelings if sadness

--

5 years. 5 long years of training and being away from home, yet still nothing. At this point Valerie has no idea if this would still be worth in the end.

What makes me so sure that the company is going to select me for the debut team? How many more years of waiting should I do?

Was choosing to stay a bad decision? She's watched a lot of her idol trainee friends who have left, get their chance. She's watched her other trainee friends from other companies debut.

Was she risking so much of herself just to be with the best?

Herin, Yiyang, Lami, Koeun, Hina, they've all left and went on to do better things while she stays here waiting for her debut that she isn't even sure would even happen.

And now she's here crying alone inside her dorm room while her trainee friends are practicing.

These thoughts consumed her. Every moving second of every minute, she's been losing hope of being the person she thought she would become. The person she desired to be.

"Xinyi, where are you? I brought snacks" She hears the muffled voice of Yizhuo, or Ningning, shout from outside of her room. She quickly wiped her tears, being careful not make it obvious that she was.

"Coming!" She shouted back. Xinyi fixed herself and gathered outside to meet with Ningning. "They ran out of corn chips so I just- Val? Were you crying?"

Once the question came out, the said girl wasn't able to mask her tears any longer, which she still tried to choke up. "Oh my gosh. Is everything alright? Do you want me to call Dongh-"

"No no no. I'm fine. Really. It's just.... it's been a rough week"

Yizhuo did not believe a word she said. Xinyi was usually a positive and happy person. She's the type of person the brings liveliness in the room and she's always one to think of good things instead of the worst, so seeing her in tears was distraughting.

"What happened?" The younger asked more firmly.

"I can't do it anymore Ning... I-I don't think.... I'm not sure anymore" All her walls broke down in an instant.

Without any word Yizhuo gave her a tight hug. In times like these, she honestly just doesn't know what to say because she knows all too well how hard it is. She knows all too well how she feels.

"I want to leave. I mean I'm thinking of doing it... I'm just... trying to make sure that's what I want" Valerie added.

"If you do... and somehow I hope you don't because I want to do this with you... but, if you do, I'll support you, okay? Whatever happens, whatever you decide to do, I'll support you" Ningning whispered to her older sister's ear.

"I'm.. I'll give myself 2 more weeks to think about it until after the monthly evaluations but I'm packing my bags now... just in case"

"Okay..." Ningning replied sadly.

----

Later that night, when everyone else in the dorm was asleep, Xinyi went out of the bedroom to grab a glass of water when she heard muffled crying atvthe living room.

Careful not to make a noise, Valerie tip-toed to get a sight of who it was, only to find out that it was the same girl who saw her crying earlier.

Ningning was hunched on the couch, her knees to he fer forehead while she hides her eyes from sight.

And that's when Xinyi realized one important thing.

If she leaves, she's not only leaving her dream behind. She's leaving Ningning. Ever since she became a trainee, she's witnessed so many people leave, and she knows how much that feels. Now one of her best friends will be witnessing another one.

Much more than the current trainees, her and Ningning grew a closer bond because they were both introduced as SM Rookies and trained with the same people that joined the company the same time that Xinyi did.

So seeing her cry, probably holding back her tears in front of everyone, especially Valerie, made the older girl realize that if she loved these girls so much, if she loved Ningning and every other trainee around her, she can wait just a little more.

Just a little more for these girls, whom she grew to care so much about.

-----

It's been a good two weeks and the monthly evaluations has ended. Despite feeling a bit distracted, Valerie was luckily able to put on a good performance.

"Have you made your decision?" The girl heard her younger sister ask as she slowly walks over to her. They were taking a rest at the locker rooms while everyone was already at the dance studios stretching.

Valerie has. She's talked to many of her friends about her situation asking for advice,and she's finally come to a conclusion.

"I'm staying.... I'll stay for you"

[white-eyed-girl]

My personal top 37 for Eurovision 2023 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 I dont' even know what to say anymore, it has been the most exhausting ESC season ever for me and I just want this Saturday to come and go

11) Italy - song is alright (it actually grew on me in these weeks), Marco is a great singer and a cool guy, but half because I didn't want it to win Sanremo and half because I have actual favourites I'm spending the season worrying to death about, I have exactly zero interest about what happens to Due Vite in Liverpool

10) Moldova - how often does it happen to have two returning artists from the same year? Seeing Pasha and Loreen meet again was so cute! (and the fact that Ivi Adamou was there as well made the whole thing even better asdfghjffg) Anyway lol the song is awesome, Moldova incredibly managed to find a middle ground between genuine ethnodance and the amateurish country fair performance from last year, and I'm happy about it Lautar is also one of the few songs I actually love from 2012 btw, just as an add-on :'' He looks hella fine too but shh

9) United Kingdom - purely and simply a bop, it almost makes me forget how much of a tamarrata* it is asdfghjk As for its chances in Liverpool, if the pre-parties are of any indication, there's no way in hell this will get a top10 like many seem to predict, more like it will be lucky to get out of the bottom 5 :'' (*tamarrata = something camp and cringy and excessive, that sometimes you like exactly because of that lol)

8) Czechia - I usually adore songs with a women-supporting-women narrative, this one is no exception, and it also has a double reading which makes it even cooler I was a bit afraid that if they kept the aesthetic of the video on stage it could end up looking messy and uncoordinated, but luckily they decided to make it tidier and in fact their performance on Tuesday was amazing

7) Austria - This, this is how you do clever and funny This could have ended up being an apocalyptic level of trash but, ironically, the nonsense narrative keeps its feet on the ground Thankfully it seems like it's not a Halo 2.0, though the performance could have used being a lil bit more whimsical and energetic

6) France - I love how this starts tango-ish and then catches rhythm! I have no idea how it will go, France was my winner last year and I never would have imagined an almost last place for them, so yeah :'' I don't think they can snatch the win but I'd be on board with them trying purely because that would mean a new Sweden vs France death match which, like, AAAAAAAAAAAAA

5) Norway - this is the first song from this year I listened to and I'm still bobbing my head from that first time ahah This sounds like a song KEiiNO could have sung, which in my book is always a compliment We'll give her a wagon of points as soon as the commentators let it slip that she's Italian lol

4) Finland - This is me having a drunken dream while also never having been drunk in my whole life :'' Look, I love this song, or it wouldn't be in my top 5, it's a banger, it's fun and it's been stuck in my head since the first time I heard it in the studio version (the live rendition sucks, I know you all know but choose not to acknowledge it c:), I actually like the way it has two very different styles and the moment it leaves the rappish part to basically become the Carameldansen makes me fall from the chair every time It does deserve to do well. Does it deserve to win though? Ehhhh personally no, I don't think this is enough

3) Serbia - This year every time I think I have listened to the most feverdream-ish song of the line-up there comes another right after to prove me wrong lmao This is so weirdly composed, it pulls my nerves right out of me but like in a good way?? The part where Luke starts ''unplugging'' the dancers and his voice becomes low and rough gives me such a fine tingle in the stomach AHHHHH Serbia wants a win and it damn well shows, and maybe it won't happen this year but if they keep this up I don't think they will have to wait for much longer

2) Spain - this is genuinely amazing and I think it grew to be the only song that wouldn't make me want to set fire to the universe if it won in Sweden's place lol just because it's so ethnically artsy and well-sung and it has such sad melancholic good lyrics, plus I think Blanca would actually make a good winner ''Ay child, when I die let them bury me on the moon so that I'll see you every night, every night except one'' Best damn lyrics of the year hands down! This >>>>>>>>>>>>>> booty hypnotic

1) Sweden - The way she claims exactly every bit of the stage that she needs to, the way she shapes sound between her teeth, the desperation in her voice in the final part, the actual tattoo element which is important in her Berber culture, the creativity in the desert environment with both sand and sky, the double reference to the Atlas myth and the Atlas mountains, there's so much cool shit around this even if you don't like the song and so much to be happy about her participating again and so many people are choosing to stay mad for some of the most ridiculous reasons I've ever heard Unbelievable Not to mention that ''it's a song contest!!'' only when it fits their narrative I know she probably won't, it would be way too perfect and eurofans this year have decided that making literal history isn't cool, but IF she does…

[regarding-stories]

The Quintessential Quintuplets (Character detail and maybe symbolism)

If you don't want to be spoilered, don't read on. I'd just recommend you to give the show a chance, it's very enjoyable. I watched the anime series 2 1/2 times by now... in the same week. Tonight I'll watch the movie conclusion in the cinema - I must know how it ends!!

The Quintessential Quintuplets is a romantic show about teenage love, big feelings, small dramas, family, and friendship. It manages to win over the hearts of the viewers with its extremely likable cast of characters and how it approaches the territory of teenage crushes. Before you know you will cry and laugh with these characters as they navigate, still in a light-hearted way, the possibility of love and heart-break.

The basic premise is that there is a group of five sisters, the eponymous quintuplets, who transfer to a new high school. They also suck at studying and all have failing grades, so their stepfather decides they need a tutor, and somehow our main protagonist, Futaro Uesugi, ends up with the job - and he really, really needs it. Of course by then his brash personality already got him off to a bad start, and his lack of perceptiveness leads him to miss the fact that the reason he gets paid five times the usual fare is that he's to tutor five girls at once.

The first phase of the show is then dedicated to him winning their cooperation with him as tutor, one by one. This quickly starts to cement a friendship between them to differing degrees. In the second phase he needs to help them pass the year 2 finals to keep his job, but this is already intermixed with the girls dragging them into the social sphere he so far avoided and the first crushes to develop. In the third phase the competition between the girls for Futaro's heart escalates and leads to drama and dramatic revelations.

What makes the show special is that the characters are well-drawn in terms of personality, quirks, what their drives are and how they approach life. Futaro also manages the balance between a truly good guy with some personality flaws without the typical horndog personality of so many anime male characters.

What the show could do a bit less with is how it outwardly portrays the girls. Of course they are beautiful, but in keeping with themes I've seen in other anime shows "bigger is better" when it comes bust size. The show also likes to take some questionable camera angles which amount to up-skirt shots or entirely alien angles that showcase a butt over half the screen. While this is only done at times and quite common with anime, the show would be even better without resorting to this fetishism. On the other hand, the show benefits from a respectful and restrained protagonist and hence overall passes the test.

But let's jump into these characters and the detail with which they are presented!

Futaro

Futaro squares the circle. On the one hand he's an arrogant absolute top-grade student, disinterested in girls and not very observant. He lacks social skills and grace, and he seems to care about nothing but studying and helping his family survive financially. And yet he has it where it counts. He will help out people when he feels they could be hurt, loves his little sister, and his overall goal in life - though he goes about it in a roundabout way - is to be a person who can help those who need it. A goal he set for himself when he ended up alone in a school trip to Kyoto 5 years before the series starts. Because he secretly developed a crush on the girl (Yotsuba) that just singled him out for helping him when he needed it. Supposedly that made him the overachiever he is when we meet him.

His characterization starts with laying out the ends he goes to to get a somewhat nourishing meal out of the school cafeteria while paying the smallest amount. He then runs into new student Itsuki, an unlikely encounter for a nerdy loner like him, and immediately antagonizes her. This guarantees he starts the whole enterprise he gets dragged into on the wrong foot and has to scramble to get into everybody's good graces.

Our dear Uesugi-kun, however, soon displays the other qualities he has. He wants to make his little sister happy who doesn't have a mom. (There are only hints about how he felt when he lost his mom and went through a rebellious phase.) He is responsible, willing to work hard, and dedicated. Seeing his laid-back dad we know nobody is making Futaro behave as he does - it's his choice.

Futaro is often portrayed as cold as ice to the outside whereas inside he fumbles with how to deal with the situations he ends up in. His arc in the show is to become more observant and display more of the qualities that make the girls eventually fall for him - but initially only for sake of money and the job. It takes him a while to realize that he cares about these girls as friends, and eventually he tutors them for free.

Being what the story needs is a typical trait for him. He will be wise and observant. He will drop his awkward outward personality in one-on-one situations. He's engaged when he can make others happy or prevent them from suffering, but being a male tsundere he will often say harsh things that run counter to his genuinely kind actions.

Getting him out of his monomanic tendencies ("I need to study!", "I need this job!") is actually the first part of his character development. As he admits later on, when challenged by an outsider, is that he wouldn't have considered himself to be a real, full person before this new situation made him develop the other parts lying dormant in his personality.

Fundamentally his reserved, icy tsundere personality is needed to keep the story going. Futaro refuses to engage this part of this personality and yet he's not immune to it. His lack of response to the various hijinks around him keeps the situation unresolved and the pot boiling.

As TV Tropes puts it: "Male love interests with tsundere-like traits are more likely to have mutual Belligerent Sexual Tension with a girl equally as tsundere as he is, or act aloof and detached as more of a Kuudere type character." (See here.) Futaro to a tee! Nobody shall know how deeply likable he is. The show thrives on the face that he can't fool us (as he's not supposed to).

Beyond that, he's another example of "boys can be dense" so often hinted at in anime and manga. (The thing most often said about Sword Art Online's Kirito is that he's "dense.") Also, while Futaro can be arrogant about his own scholastic nature, all the female attention he gets never goes to his head. He barely sees them "this way" and often gets annoyed with the attention he gets or treats it as absolutely normal. He more than often calls the girls a bunch of "idiots" but somehow, as the show progresses, it is clear that they're his bunch of idiots. As I said, his main quality is that he cares.

Futaro will go to a winter camp and be social and all engaged even when he's so sick he has to be hospitalized after. He will do it for others and secretly for himself. And he will write a list of experiences to share with his kid sister. As our wooden boy turns into a real person he becomes irresistible to those who know him. But ironically most of what can be said about Futaro needs to be said when seeing him in the five-facetted mirror that the girls reflect him in.

Which means - we need to look at the girls!

Ichika

Did you ever notice it? When we see the names of the girls on phone screens as calls arrive, the symbols are the Japanese kanji for numbers 1-5. This is reflected in their names. "Ichika" has the word "ichi" in her name, marking her as the first quintuplet to be born. She remarks on herself as "Big Sis" as if she was an older sister.

Ichika projects laid-back, easy-going, and popular. She wears her hair short in a way that suggests she's uncomplicated but somehow also confident. Tight denim jeans and tops show off her curves and she turns heads wherever she goes - or as Futaro puts it, she "attracts attention" (something he dislikes when it comes to himself). Ichika's desire is to be an actress, something she does feel self-conscious about since she's unsure she can cut it.

There's a hint in the story (her scores in the year 2 finals) that she's more intelligent and capable when it comes to studies than people, including her sisters, might expect. She just didn't care before or was constantly overtired due to her work commitments. Interestingly, she's also the only one who's messy. Her room looks like it had been searched by the rudest squad of police in the history of television.

Ichika keeps a tab on the feelings of her sisters and always tries to create harmony. Nino calls her a "schemer" and that sums her up to a tee. From the moment Futaro talks to Itsuki she tries to ship them. then Miku and Futaro when she notices Miku's feelings. This culminates when she becomes interested in Futaro herself and starts to scheme because she is not truly confident and bold enough to just let him know head-on. Ichika puts on an act, and Futaro calls her on it early on.

To go with the traits she displays, she calls Futaro "Futaro-kun" practically off the bat, using the first name immediately and adding the endearing suffix. Ichika's friendly and outwardly social, so she skips the whole dance of Japanese social rules altogether.

Initially Ichika acts as Futaro's helper and "woman on the inside" when most of the quintuplets reject him, mending upsets and mediating between him and the tsundere duo, Nino and Itsuki. This changes once she wants Futaro for himself which puts her actual lack of confidence on full display.

Ichika's outer accessory is her short, pink hair.

Nino

Keeping with the pattern, "ni" being the way you count to two, the second-born quintuplet is Nino. Is Nino a tsundere? You bet she is. If she hates you, she's mean. The first thing she does upon Futaro being revealed as the tutor is that she drugs him. Nino is honest and extremely forthright, though to her "technically true" is good enough. ("I didn't poison [the cookies]." Yep. It was the water instead.) So when her dad asks her if she speaks the truth, she is believed.

Nino talks about trust a lot - "Can I trust you?" is practically her catch phrase. This speaks to her insecurity. Nino's brash personality apparently roots in the fact that she doesn't want to be hurt first. She would just not admit that. But when caught "one-on-one", Futaro notices she can be surprisingly easy to talk to. Nino is not as aloof as she would have you think though she plays it cool all the time, followed around by her two fan-girl like friends.

Her relationship with Futaro presents a side of her that we will see on display eventually - all-in or all-out. She first just calls him "Uesugi," and without a honorific that makes it sound like a "stranger you do not pay respect to." Though this can also be the name used between classmates. However, as soon as she changes her mind about him, she decided to give him a pet name (though Miku has to think it up): "Fu-kun." This is basically the most familar (and hence "dere") way of showing affection. Nino's affection isn't won easily, but once you have it, you've won.

Keeping with her traits, she's the only one that manages to outright tell Futaro that she's in love with him in two seasons of anime. She's the only one who has the guts to do so - because, once she's in, she's all in.

Nino's worries about loss and dislikes outsiders. She's also a talented cook. Her trademark accessories are little scarves she weaves into her hair - reminiscent of butterfly wings. Which hints at her soft side. Nino likes cute things - her phone has a bunny ears protector, and the first kimono we see her wear has bunny patterns. When we see her room, it shows displays of nature scenes with animals in them.

What's unconvincing about Nino is that for someone who cares about being truthful she's awfully casual about Futaro posing as Kintaro (who she had a crush on). While the whole idea of Futaro posing a bad boy (which she's hot for) is laughable to begin with, it actually is a bit of truth in fiction piercing the usual anime/manga art style conventions. Hair style and clothing of students are tightly regulated, something completely handwaved for heroines. However, with Futaro it's played straight. He seemed like a bad boy as his younger self, having both pierced his ear (which she's afraid of) and being blonde. Many Japanese schools enforce dark or black as the "natural hair color" students have to have, and hair has to be straight. People with natural curls or not-typically-Japanese hair colors can even be singled out by teachers, even after presenting a medical note proving that's their natural hair. So we're getting a hint at how actual Japanese school life might be (and that teachers probably cut Futaro some slack because his mom died).

Nino's most awesome moments are when she goes into intimidation mode - that's just outright funny. I personally would not vote her as my best girl, but she is instrumental for keeping the show going. First when she delays Futaro's acceptance, then when her confession forces all the others into action.

Miku

Miku is the middle one, and her name derives of from "mittsu", a word regarding the quantity of three. Probably because it made a better name. (Typically you would count with "san.") Miku is the shy one, constantly hiding herself. She's most likely to hide from others (like in an igloo at camp) or shut the world out (her accessory are big headphones, though you never see her wear them much on her ears after the series gets going). While Miku will wear a short skirt she will also wear black tights like a protective screen. Her style of clothing seems to deliberately tone down her bust whereas the others either do not care or dress to attract attention. Miku would wear long sleeve cardigans instead. She speaks quietly and is often called "bland" by Nino.

Miku bonds with Futaro over her passion for old, bearded Japanese warlords which she knows all about. She loses respect for him when he knows less "warlord trivia" than her, but when he studies up to be her peer, she relents. It's beautifully played: She walks into the library and verifies his claims that he checked out all the books. Once Futaro proved that he was going an extra mile to actually gain access to her world (which she so carefully hides) she accepts him as friend immediately, calling him "Futaro" - like you would a friend.

Seeing Miku with her sisters it's hard to grasp how shy she really is. She constantly leads an inner dialogue and rarely lets it escape. She seems to be especially rewarding and easy to write for for the original author, seeing how long the story arcs are that focus on her. (Or maybe that's what the animation studios chose to highlight.)

This is because it takes a long time for her to set anything into action. She tries daring herself by defining thresholds she needs to cross instead of instead doing something straightforward. Miku also compares herself a lot. One of the sad things about her is that she thinks she needs to be a certain way to be liked, whereas Futaro just naturally would care for her. So her whole attempt to get a better cook can be seen as endearing but also as a problem. She's the only one of the five that considers changing herself to be more "appealing." She also takes the list of traits Futaro looks for in a girl as is.

To me, Miku is always wonderful to watch, I root for her constantly.

One of her odd properties is that she apparently is maybe the best at imitating the others. Seeing her imitate Ichika is downright spooky - when she turns her frown "upside down."

Miku is the first to know that she's in love with Futaro, she just has the hardest time lining up her actions with it.

Go, Miku!

Yotsuba

Number 4 is our "genki girl", Yotsuba, whose name is a reference to "yon," an alternative version of "shi" which is considered unlucky because it means "death" as well. "Genki" means healthy, but also describes a lively personality, constantly positive, endless energy.

Yotsuba characterizes even herself as most child-like, she's naive and trusting, and people get in the habit of abusing her willing-to-help personality. She's the only one to never question the whole tutoring thing, and she never stops calling Futaro "Uesugi-san", which is the most formal way to do it and could be sometimes considered to be the equivalent of "Mr Uesugi." Adding "-san" shows respect, and as their tutor she gives it to him.

Yotsuba is the reason why the girls changed school because she's the only one who couldn't remedy her failing score in a second exam. She has a correspondingly low opinion of herself. While she is indeed a scatterbrain she also has a good mind for English, a subject that requires some intuition and feel for language.

In keeping with her generally cute and puppy dog personality, her accessory is a ribbon that sticks out like two bunny ears. When Yotsuba is tired or sad, it flops. When she has an idea, it perks. Yotsuba is near-incapable of saying no, and her physical prowess makes her sought after by sports clubs in school - including the basketball club and the track team.

Yotsuba can be refreshing, but she wears herself down trying to make everybody else happy. Technically she's the first one to say "I like/love you" to Kintaro, though she says it was to prove she can convincingly lie. The moment is perfect, and in fact surprises are Yotsuba's theme. She sometimes catches on surprisingly quickly only for the others to deny her intuitions (which she believes). Count on Yotsuba to do something outlandish.

Technically Yotsuba, however, has never said she has a crush on Futaro - whereas the other four have all admitted it. She's however the girl Futaro met in Kyoto five years ago where she became his big life-changing crush. She's also one of the two hottest candidates for the spring break mystery as to which girl ran up to Futaro and kissed him under the bell just because how spontaneous she is. (All girls were wearing the same to appease their grandfather, so we as viewers can't really tell who it was. But Futaro later references this moment as the start of what leads to marrying one of them - when that one started to become "special.")

Yotsuba is wonderful for comedy because she's like a broken flight recorder. She takes in everything but then combines factoids in surprising ways.

And after two seasons of this show I can't believe Yotsuba will be "it," but they keep awfully quiet about her actual feelings, dammit.

Itsuki

Does this show need another tsundere? Why yes, it does. Number 5 (named after an alternative word for five instead of the "go" used for counting) is the best tsundere by far. Brash and awkward, inside Itsuki cares. She will cry by herself over the arguments she has with Futaro or if she excludes herself because of her stubborness.

As season 2 finally establishes, Itsuki strongly takes after the mother role. But even at the start she immediately "falls" for Futaro's little sister Raiha. She also immediately fits like a mother into the Uesugi household whenever she shows up. When she doesn't know where to go she shows up on the Uesugi doorstep, being the only one who ever visited the place. We see her in a picture with Raiha making the two of them look like mom and dad, we see them sleeping in the same room with the girl between them - she just slots in, she can almost not help it.

Her mother was a teacher, and every month Itsuki goes and burns incense to honor her late mother at her grave. Itsuki wants to become a teacher, and she also wants to ensure Futaro is suitable as an authority and teacher figure, making this her motivation to check him out more.

She also tries to discipline Nino when she crosses the threshold. It's Itsuki that notices that Futaro hand-wrote all their problem sets because he's too poor to print them and he actually cares about tutoring them properly. However, she cannot handle the ensuing situation and runs away herself, knowing she put Nino into a spot that it's really hard to walk back out of after demonstrating how wrong she is in front of the others.

Itsuki calls Futaro "Uesugi-kun", a term appropriate for a classmate while also being nice. Prim and proper and a bit compulsive are her traits. She actually studies but then messes up her exams by obsessing about some answers and then not finishing. At times when the quints mislead a teacher or go against a teacher's order she's the only one that's outright mortified.

It's clear that Itsuki wants Futaro, though she is least vocal about it and supports the others in their pursuits. She tries to showcase Yotsuba as the Kyoto girl, for example. When she shops for hot underwear she also struggles with how forward that is. We learn the least about Itsuki's feelings, though, since her other trait is awkward. It's downright funny to see the same girl calling Futaro "too forward" when he leans his head on her shoulder (he actually was near passing out) but then buying a pair of underwear that makes both her and Miku blush and sweat when they actually look at it, showing her conflicting sides in lace.

While I'm personally in Team Miku, I consider from what I know now Itsuki as the hottest candidate for Futaro's heart. From their clashing personalities to being the first he runs into at school to the ease with which she slots into his life to... everything. To her Futaro says he will be a surrogate father if her own isn't up to it. And I consider her to be one of the two likely candidates for the kiss.

Why? Even in disguise, Miku is still Miku. (Though Futaro "seeing her" even in disguise is huuuuge for her.) We see Ichika, Nino's, and Miku's moves on screen - which makes you wonder where Itsuki is in all this, especially given all I said above. She's almost hidden in comparison.

Also take note of another thing she does: She wants to evaluate Futaro. This is brought to us in an exchange with Ichika which states that he's not like their dad. Which implies that her mom chose poorly for her second marriage - Mr Nakano has the charm (and eyes) of a snake and none of the daughters actually lives with him, they just visit him like he was a divorced parent. You could think she evaluates him for the sake of her sisters (she does this after discovering Ichika's crush, and everybody knows about Miku - even Futaro notices). But we might as well assume that in Itsuki's potential self-deception she also wants to make sure he's good enough for her. She never excludes herself when she says "we" need to be wiser about choosing men, after all.

Itsuki's accessories are her red hair, her cowlick, and the stars she wears in her hair. And she seems to burn calories real quick because she's always eating.

My bet

My personal favorite is Miku, partially because the show really makes us feel her plight, but I also have a foible for the "type." After making us care and empathize this much and giving her this much felt spotlight, it would almost be mean if it was anybody else.

However, I suspect it would turn out to be Itsuki for all the reasons stated in her section. She's "meta-positioned" best.

If it was anyone but these two I would be mad. Because the other three are a stretch, even though Ichika and Yotsuba are great as well. Nino... I don't know.

It shows how strong the show is that I would be sad no matter which one "wins." They all are characters we come to care about, their problems, their little dramas, their quirks. That's what makes the whole show work. It doesn't obsess about romance. Futaro and the girls meet on a human level first. While it cannot be called a "slow burner" by any means, it definitely establishes things first properly and always builds from the characters. I guess I'll know after tonight - unless there's a twist or cop-out ending. Which I might be happy with, too. (The enormous amount of white dresses seemed excessive.) Lame as that may be. Once a show convinces you that streaks of color on a screen are people you care for, it really did its job.

The only thing I know is that the underlying manga has finished. I wanted to see the conclusion on screen, though, as voices and color play such a big role in the show and are executed so well. Sadly all good things come to an end, and I hope a satisfying one.

[wistfulcynic]

AO3 wrapped: 3, 5, and 15?

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

i can't not say A World in Lilac Hues, because i spent two years writing it and put so much time and effort into making as good as it could possibly be. The response has been wonderful too, not the numbers so much as the comments people left and some things readers have said to me off Ao3. It's just been a great (also bloody sweaty and teary) experience.

for OFMD i think, if not the fic i'm most proud of then certainly the one i like best is actually in the still of the night. It's one of those fics that's really grown on me. Like, i (almost) never write anything i wouldn't want to read myself but there are some fics that during the writing process i'm a bit too close to? if that makes sense? to really see certain qualities they have. Then when i revisit them with a different perspective they hit different.

in the still of the night is a college/university AU, a thing i love though i'm never quite sure why they appeal to me so much. It's also suuuuper niche because it's set, completely inexplicably, at my undergrad university and features a tradition unique to that school. But despite (because of?) those things i'm proud of how successfully i was able to reimagine the characters fit into that setting. Personally i think it works really well. This is the OFMD fic of mine that i reread most often (and yes i do reread my own fics. EVERYONE SHOULD DO THIS)

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

i always have high hopes and low expectations, which is actually pretty brutal in fic writing i should stop doing that. But i guess i'd have to point to all that i am led me to you, my most successful OFMD fic by several country miles. i don't think i fully appreciated how much people love the Ed-meets-Mary premise. Though i probably should have, as it's one of my favourites as well. This one is the fandom classic (aside: i love that we already have classics in a fandom less than a year old) of one of them (in this case Stede) being badly injured and showing up at Mary's door, giving Mary a chance to both meet the love of her husband's life and be astounded that Stede managed to pull motherfucking Blackbeard. My take on the trope is set 10 years post-canon because i really wanted to write a well-established Blackbonnet, happy and in love.

also i really, really love the "OTP seen through another person's eyes" POV.

it is slightly frustrating that this fic got so much more attention than my others because there are actually quite a few things i'd change if i had it to do over, but at the same time i'm pleased it resonated with so many and especially the portrayal of Mary (who imho is often misread by the fandom at large).

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

Ah, hopefully none. ideally i will finish my ghost story and the gift exchange fic i'm writing by the end of the year (hahaha). i took a break from writing for a few weeks but i'm starting to feel like i could get back into it so with a hefty push i can start 2023 with zero WIPs. Which, honestly, i think might be good. i've written over a million words in the past four years and i think i need a longer break from fic writing. But then i've said that before and always been sucked back in, so i suppose time will tell.

thanks for asking ❤️.

--

send me asks about my ao3 wrapped

[ianbbl]

My Top 10 BL Series of All Time

1. We Best Love: No. 1 for You

a. The chemistry between Sam and Yu is absolutely out of this world. b. I ranked this as my number one show immediately after watching it week-by-week so it is entirely possible I am biased but…their chemistry!! c. I like the plot of enemies to lovers anyway and this version of it with added reluctance just floats my boat.

2. Word of Honor

a. Not technically a BL. This wuxia drama is based on a BL novel but was censored for Chinese television which has banned any BL content. b. Any show about a “bromance” that can convince me the leads are in love is a win. c. This show also made me feel feelings about many of the side characters, which is a big thing that very rarely happens when I watch shows. And given just how many side characters this show had is a particularly impressive feat.

3. Bad Buddy the Series

a. Ohm and Nanon flexed their acting chops and showed off why they are both such in demand actors. b. Like WBL I watched this week-to-week and then immediately put it on my list so my bias may once again be showing, however I loved this series. With the exception of two weird time jumps I thought it was incredibly well paced. By that I mean each episode had enough action to warrant the decisions that were made and to not get bored waiting for the next exciting part of the show.

4. History 3: Trapped

a. I love the non-traditional BL setting of a Mafioso and the cop out trying to get him and bring him in, only to fall for him in the process. b. I also appreciate that there is a mystery being unraveled throughout the course of the show. It means that if I ever lost interest in the main couple’s dynamic (which I never did, but others might) there was an actual plot catching my attention as well.

5. Seven Days

a. Not technically a series, more like a movie divided into two, but my god, it’s wonderful. b. I watched this due to AbsoluteBL recommending it at every chance they got and I regret absolutely nothing about that decision. c. These boys have chemistry up the wazoo, they have a heartwarming naivety in completely different ways, and their story just makes me smile.

6. Cherry Magic

a. I love this series. I love that you get demi-romantic representation, I love that you get asexual representation, I love that you get fantasy sequences about what the main couple could be but those fantasies are like “I wanna see this person eating a dinner I made for him”. b. Adachi is too good for this world, even as he flails about in distress at every turn, and Kurosawa absolutely wants to win the “world’s number one gentleman” award.

7. Light on Me

a. I hate love triangles because I think they are too obvious- most of the time you can tell who will end up with the lead by the end of the second or third episode. Light on Me, however? That absolutely was not the case. They used BL tropes in a way that gave equal weight to each potential love interest and gave both characters reasonably well developed back stories. b. I love all of the male characters on this show and want to give all of them hugs because they are doing their best. So yeah, love this show.

8. I Told Sunset About You

a. This one. Oh ITSAY. I have never felt more seen as a queer person than watching this show. The way the director and actors were able to capture how awkward teenage romance is? The way they were able to capture identity crises that come from realizing you like someone of the same gender? b. It hurts so good.

9. Until We Meet Again

a. I don’t cry at television very easily, and everyone talking about how much they cried at this series made me roll my eyes. But the ending of the penultimate episode and beginning of the finale had me weeping. Fluke Natouch did an absolutely fantastic job in those scenes in particular and shot to the top of my favourite Thai actors list as a result. b. The plot itself is incredibly unique to television (but not fanfiction, lol) and I thought the script writer did a good job balancing the time between the past and the present to make you invested in both couples even when you knew exactly what happened in the past.

10. Long Time No See/Gaya Sa Pelikula

a. Yes I cheated and picked two, but some of my options above might not qualify to your standards so, sue me.

LTNS

i. The plot of this show is so interesting. I love that the leads were interested in each other before even really knowing each other and yet that interest never waned as their secrets unfolded. Give me a lover who will fight for me! ii. I also love the awkward realness of the intimate scenes in this show.

Gaya Sa Pelikula

i. Had me on the edge of my seat to see where the couple was going ii. I loved that this series addressed being gay as normal. No [metaphors]. Loved that the two female characters were likeable.

[parkminijiminie]

Heyy, good to see you again on my tl. you're one of those ppl i love seeing on my tl cause we love talking things practically while many thinks everything is always sunshine nd rainbow.

I agree with all what U said. Especially the part of you saying jk's behaviour surprised you cause we haven't seen him like that with jm and tbvh i agree. just like u i have always associated their interaction with eachother as full of tenderness. something i always thought is different about jkk than others. e.g. last yr when jm would comment on jk's live he used to look happy nd used to ask jm about what he's doing, come over etc while when Tae would comment he was like "What r u doing here" or when Tae joined jk's suchwita he was "like can you please leave we're filming?" I'm not giving this to drag TK here but just showing how this bro type of behaviour of jk's was more common with others. haven't really seen jk talk like that with jm. so yeah definitely surprising. ngl it looked reversed btw TK nd JKK this time.

But what i also think is over the past years Especially since 2021 JK is trying to grow from that thing u know, he's more confident now n all like idk how to explain this to u but this change of behaviour in jk's nature is something I'm noticing since 2021. Also remember when Tae went live at the same time jk was live just to say that open the door we're outside nd jk's immediate reaction was "Don't come" and then he went "no i can't say things like this infront of ppl" or something. So to me it also shows that maybe they do kinda talk like this off cam but not really infront of cam cause it might make them look bratty or ppl might misunderstand their conversations when they know eachother well nd how much they can joke with eachother but outside ppl won't understand that.

Jungkook still was somewhat less rough with jm physically than jm is to jk which is kinda of similar like jm usually playfully hits jk nd jk lets it go. cause I'm sure if it was reversed the amount of shit jm would have gotten as antis saying how jk doens't care about jm at all. I remember how jm said in live that jk would hit him and jk was like "why you making look bad when it's me who'll get hit" so this has always been like that with them physically but vocally jk been pretty upfront.

Now i really wonder how they even came with the Buddy prgrm cause even tho there's some idols who's group has enlisted at same time, nd some members have even gotten the same training place for 5 weeks none of the idols have ever used buddy program. so wonder how they came up with it cause they're the first two idols in k-pop history to do that. i wonder now if it's really because they could get to chose dates if they do Buddy program as many ppl dragging jkk has said. Also wonder if Taekook talked about enlisting together but didn't do it cause Tae wanted to go for special force nd jk too wanted but couldn't cause of rules? I'm saying TK cause they obviously spent more time together than any other pair nd in the past Tae said he will enlist with jk nd jk also said he wanted special force n all. idk if they'll talk about it or not but yeah really curious how their rs goes for next trips.

Although them not meeting and calling eachother wasn't a surprise for me Cause i damned suspected it last year itself cause of their conversations but getting the confirmation is something else. but what we can hope is them being happy with whatever state they are with eachother. i obviously never believd they're dating cause it nothing convinced me enough but seeing someone who i thought are the closest like this is something. Especially after the Jk's video with the woman idt there was any chance of jkk dating or anything for me.

As sad as it is, I think people claiming that Jikook was dating the first half of 2023 are basically deluding themselves. Not that it's impossible, but it's very very improbable.

As I said, I think JK of last year was very focused on his image and his personal journey, so maybe this is why we are feeling like his character is not what were are used to, because it is.

Just like you, I am very curious how the enlistment talk even happened. Contrary to assumptions, JK actually could have gone to special forces, even with his tattoos,but not within the Buddy system. So TK enlisting together was never really an option if they really wanted to be in the special forces. It's very telling to me that even though TK spent a lot of time together last year, this wasn't enough to make them want to enlist together and in TH's case to give up his preferred position, whereas JK did give up going to the special forces in order to be with JM.

This, to me, is a sure proof that the bond between Jikook is actually deeper. Each of them made sacrifices to stay together, whereas TK just went their separate ways.

[donotscratchyoureyes]

Vendilo, Gino

As you might be aware, I coined the phrase #parlacigino (talk to us Gino) back in March after the diabolical QPR match. It felt like a natural line in the sand after two seasons of what can only be described as attritional football played by uninterested players, too many head coach sackings, crass stadium measures, a tone deaf comms policy and, lest we forget, a badly executed and poorly communicated ‘fans forum’.

This lead to some fans feeling disconnected from their club and an air of frustration gave way to low level demonstration.

This was met by the club enforcing measures so draconian that it took everyone by surprise. A towel that had ‘Pozzo Out’ written on it saw it’s owner being ejected from the ground, spoken to by the police and then banned from buying any further tickets until he ‘came in for a chat’.

Another banner with the same message was met with the phrase ‘there’s no free speech in this stadium’ as the owner was frog-marched out.

Stewarding levels were ramped up in both number and snarly attitude and the PA volume was increased to 11 to drown out the very small pockets of ‘get out of our club’ vocal dissent.

The original family club, everyone.

This ‘Pozzo Out’ sentiment, I felt, was premature. We’ve enjoyed 5 consecutive seasons and some famous victories in the premier league under Gino’s tenure. We do have, at last, a fully completed stadium which had previously looked like a building site with a condemned stand. So what had changed for some fans to want the owner out?

It seemed clear we needed to see the whites of his eyes, hence one small hashtag posted on the ‘Do Not Scratch Your Eyes’ twitter by myself. Obviously I was expecting for it to be lost in the sea of ‘Pozzo Out’ sentiment that was permeating, but it got a small amount of traction and within a week we were gathering like-minded folk together to work out how to get Gino and supporters in the same room after the club cannily chucked it over to the fans to organise after their disastrous cock-up the previous season.

I’ll not go into the machinations of how the event in June finally happened as this has been discussed to death elsewhere and I don’t think my mental health could take it, but happen it did. Gino met the supporters.

And again, I’ll not go into details of what was said at the meeting, you can find the live blogs and the full transcript elsewhere. However at the end of the meeting it did feel like some air was cleared and that there was an understanding of what Pozzo was trying to achieve. We finally had a clue about his personality and crucially his philosophy after 11 years of his club ownership.

Four months later we have had a terrible (in my view) transfer window in terms of players coming in and we are watching what is now, worryingly, looking like relegation form football. Yes, we are sitting a few places off League One as this is being typed.

‘Oh’ say some supporters ‘but what about the January window? Maybe he’ll bring in the right players then!’ I doubt that. It hasn’t happened for the past, what, five windows has it? And now the person responsible for bringing in the talent has been sacked. Goodbye Ben Manga.

Enough now. Enough. The slippery slope we have found ourselves on since the 2019 FA Cup final shows no sign of abating; in fact it looks like it’s taking steeper turns.

Pozzo heard the hopes, expectations and concerns of Watford fans at that meeting in June and should have left feeling buoyant but also humbled having been handed a second chance whilst having to tiptoe on the thinnest of ice.

That ice is showing signs of cracking now. Previously staunch supporters of Pozzo are turning against him and if things on the pitch don’t improve dramatically (and the fan reaction to that isn’t handled in a more measured way by the club this time around) it could be that he is inching towards demonstrations that could well be more vociferous this time around, too.

So here’s a new hashtag: #VendiloGino (‘Sell Gino’). Sell whilst your legacy is relatively untarnished. Sell whilst the supporters might still think of you as the second greatest owner after Elton John. Sell before it’s too late and further damage is done. Sell before your bloody-mindedness sees our club drop down to the third tier of English football.

Sell to someone with a spark of enthusiasm. Someone willing to throw more than £50k on Tom Ince after reaping tens of millions in transfer fees. Someone who will hire the right recruitment team and not rely on peculiar looking deals with less than reputable looking agents.

We were here before you arrived. We’ll be here after you go. Don’t worry about us. We’ve seen all this before. But nothing changes until it changes at the top. It’s time for that change.

#VendiloGino

[vivacapital19]

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[seemawrites]

Writer's Block or Quarter Life Crisis?

I miss being inspired beyond what is in front of me. When I think back to my university days, I’m so grateful that I had the chance to study creative writing and really put in an effort into what I was doing. But when I really think back to it, I feel as if I didn’t do enough. I didn’t try hard enough. I know that I did do well, but I feel as if I could have done better. Maybe this is the writers curse, as we’re all our own worst critics, but that’s how I feel. I had a huge opportunity to study what I loved, and I spent most of it fucking off and just doing whatever, without really thinking of how my life would be now. I mean, I could’ve never guessed I’d be into my second office job (both have been relatively creative, but office jobs nonetheless), and not having time to do many things, like hanging out with my friends or exploring new things. Those things may seem mundane, but I need these experiences in order to write. For art in general, the only way to improve your craft is not only to practice it, but to find unique experiences as you go along in life. And a unique experience doesn’t have to be sitting on an island for days on end, looking at the animals in the trees. It can be a simple thing of having a conversation with a person in their 80’s who has lived longer than majority of those you know around you. It can be just watching a couple in a café exploring their unique love language.

I use to gain inspiration from people watching. People are interesting things, they tend to do things subconsciously without realizing it. Not to say that being in Ethiopia has prevented me from doing this, or that if I lived in a different country I would have more opportunities. Everybody likes to think that life would be so different if they lived elsewhere. And it might be, but I think that is truly dependent on the lifestyle you have. And majority of people I know all over the world have a 9-5 week, party over the weekend, and then do it all again on Monday. But maybe the rest of the world has more diverse options of where you go and who you meet (I say maybe as if I don’t know that for certain).

I tend to force myself to regurgitate thoughts and already lived experiences, but honestly, it feels like I’m drowning myself creatively. I want to read more books, more essays, more poetry. I want to explore new TV shows, and new people, but it has become increasingly difficult the more tired I get. I’ve been in a writers block for well over two months now, and continuously writing untitled poems and creative essays as a self reflection method. But I feel like I haven’t lived enough to self reflect. I have been journaling as much as I can when I do get the chance to do something interesting or if it changes my perspective of what I previously thought upon a topic. But recently, it’s been the same thing over and over. I am very happy to have the friends and partner that I do to keep my happy and afloat, and none of what I previously said is a reflection upon the life I have built with them and here. I just wish that life could be more like the 70’s, where exploring the world wasn’t so expensive, and living life wasn’t something that we look at as a luxury. I wish being a creative still meant something; I wish being a writer still meant that you could fuck off for several months to do your writing. You still can, but the world moves by so fast, you may run out of money before you finish your book.

Maybe I’m just having a quarter life crisis within my writing endeavors, maybe its because I never planned to be alive this long when I was younger, I kinda winged everything until the age of 23. Sometimes I forget you need to breathe, and that the greatest writers I’ve ever had the chance of reading didn’t get their chance to write until well into their 30’s. I’m turning 25 in a few weeks, and I think maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when it comes to writers blocks, or when it comes to how tired I am after a day of work. Yeah, I think that’s the best thing to do.

[interships-ulead]

Improve your employee morale via an online internship

Wondering how to foster positivity at a work-from-home internship?

First, let us know the meaning of employee morale in simple words. It is the determining factor of your engagement and productivity level. Morale unites employees' satisfaction and attitude toward the company and their job. Likewise, high morale can positively impact the productivity and creativity of an individual. It seems harsh for an intern but trust me online internship can help you get on board with employee morale. 

Few Tips to Boost Morale

The practices listed below are fit for both boosting morale and maintaining it. Therefore, implement these morale boosters in your workflow to help bypass some problems connected with remote work.

1.Communication 

One of the most common problems with an online internship is the sense of social isolation. The lack of communication makes many people feel lonely and abandoned. Therefore, interactions between colleagues are important.

It can be a good idea to schedule weekly team meetings to discuss news or daily tasks with your teams. In addition, an intern will get the hang of the corporate process in unpaid or paid internships and feel more connected with their co-workers and managers.

2.Share Successes and Failures

Interns need to see the consequences of their work. Each success and failure is another chance to help people stay connected and feel that they are a vital part of the company. It's a good idea to make short presentations so everyone can participate and see what the team members have achieved. 

As a result, this practice can let the employees and interns know they can discuss all the details of their projects for the upcoming weeks. For interns looking to work remotely in the future, this work-from-home internship will give them a kickstart toward their destination. 

3.Stay Positive

An internship is all about trial and error. Therefore, you need to accept both the positive and negative results at different points in your unpaid or paid internship. Sometimes you wont be lucky to complete all the tasks before the deadlines, have a word with your mentor for guidance. Remember, you have come here to update your skill, so do not lose hope. 

At the same time, you should be objective and transparent and become industry ready.

4.Participate In Online Team Building

Besides weekly meetings on business questions, you should participate in team-building activities. Team building games can be related to work or be super random and silly fun.

When team building games relate to work, they can help employees and interns generate hard and soft skills needed to improve their performance. The main benefit of team building for interns is getting to know their co-workers personally and making professional networks. 

5.Provide Growth Opportunities

The online internship provides a first-hand professional network to interns. It is a platform to become a better version of oneself. Firms invest in their interns, and if the interns prove their worth, they are awarded as full-time employees. Remember that the company can also benefit from growing new leaders as they'll have the platform to share creative, fresh ideas for business development.

Another excellent morale booster is the opportunity to step up their careers. Employers are now seeking candidates with internship experience. 

Final Say

As you can see, most morale boosters are about communication and attention to people. Therefore interns have to take steps to realize the importance of employee morale in their future company. Simultaneously, work efficiency depends on how comfortable and safe employees feel working at your company. It's hard to focus on business processes if an employee feels underestimated; the team leader needs to implement morale-boosting practices in the daily workflow.

Looking for a paid online internship?

ULead offers an online internship program for students to upskill themselves while reinventing learning and transforming lives with us. Leadership is the most sought-after skill by all companies, and Ulead is the place to be if you see yourself as a corporate leader in the future. Get enrolled now!!