#how much Soi Fon paid for that

[soienjoyer]

Yorusoi in Bleach Novel

[buriedinbleach]

Which of the captains look the prettiest/handsomest in drag? (JUSHIROJUSIROJUSHIRO)

Um… abso-lutely Jushiro!! Fun question! I could actually see quite a few of the guys being insanely pretty and the girls being very handsome! Yikes, if they had a competition, I would not want to be a judge… But as luck would have it, the WSA decided to host a competition to benefit the Seireitei’s Orphaned Children Fund. You can decide who wins, like I said, I can’t judge ;)

‘Mandatory Disclaimer’ I promised Nanao to pass on: ‘Awards presented in no way indicate a contestant’s final standing in the competition. Actual placement of the contestants is final and indisputable by participants.’

Soi-Fon:

*She was a surprise entry, but a very well executed one. Hair slicked back and drawn-on stubble, she went the sporty route in a full football kit. Soi-Fon shocked everyone with some spot-on skills for the talent portion (prompting Renji to challenge her to a game afterwards). Awarded: ‘Most Talented’ which someone during the night (Shinji) changed to ‘Best Balls’ and that was the title that stuck.

Rose:

*He spent the most time on his hair, making sure it was perfectly styled, only bothering to apply a light touch of makeup - he knew he didn’t really need it anyway. He ended up going a little hard with the whole ‘hair flip’ thing and nearly toppled off his heels, but he made a surprisingly graceful save and played it off. Awarded: ‘Most Luscious Locks’

Byakuya:

*Agreed (begrudgingly) to participate at Rukia’s pleading. But only because it benefitted children of the Seireitei. He tried to disguise himself well enough no one knew it was him, but he wore a beautiful (and expensive) kimono and pretty much gave himself away. Of course, the air of indifference he exuded really pushed the total look over the top. Come to think of it, that was probably how everyone guessed it was him. Awarded: ‘Most Elegant’

Toshiro:

*It is truly a wonder what some eyeliner can do. Everyone agreed that Toshiro was attractive enough to begin with (despite his frosty exterior). But the nice smokey eye he sported at the competition in combination with the way the lights caught them and made them flicker just so… No one really paid much attention to the rest of his appearance. Awarded: ‘Prettiest Peepers’

Jushiro:

*Keyone put in some serious work getting Jushiro ready, with constant (completely unhelpful) critiques from Sentaro. In the end, Rukia ended up stepping in to make sure their Captain was his usual beautiful self. He practically glowed under the stage lights and took everyone’s breath away. Awarded: ‘Best Legs’ after the judges got a view thanks to the thigh-high slit in his dress.

Shinji:

*Shinji was quite the sight to see. He already had the hair going for him - just long enough to aid the illusion of a feminine appearance. But he is rail thin. It took him half the day to work on padding his ass and thighs, then applying his fake boobs to give him the appearance of cleavage. He may have enjoyed a snickering fondling of his falsies before applying them but he won’t admit it. Awarded: ‘Best Smile’ - his red lipstick really made that toothy grin pop to perfection.

Yumichika:

*I mean really. Yumichika is the one person who’s life obsession is beauty. When the news was out that there was a Seireitei drag competition, Yumichika would stop at nothing to win. He spent all day on his makeup, and you can bet he looked flaw-less. Awarded: ‘Gives Good Face (Best Makeup)’ he was thoroughly disappointed. Yumichika expected ‘Most Beautiful’.

Rukia:

*Rukia pulled off a smokey grey western-style mens suit to perfection. It contrasted nicely with her violet eyes. She even managed to strut her stuff in perfect imitation of a man’s walk and body language (she copied Renji’s mannerisms to a T. His cheeks were as red as his hair). Awarded: ‘Best Boy (Most Accurate Portrayal’)

Honorable Mentions (aka: Who Tried and Failed - hard):

Shunsui:

*He was a little too invested in picking out his clothing and failed to leave enough time to cover his stubble when he was doing his makeup. His 5 O’Clock shadow was visible to half the audience. But his dress was pretty, so that’s something?

Kensei:

*He actually managed to use enough tape to get some impressive cleavage. Though he has the typical male problem of no hips, he surprised some of the crowd with a remarkably nice ass. However, since he refused to wear a dress with sleeves (he actually just couldn’t find one that fit), his massive biceps were a huge distraction to the audience - particularly the women.

Kenpachi:

*He was the other shocking entry of the night, convinced to take part by Yachiru. She even adorned his hair with her bone clip. However, there wasn’t enough makeup in the Seireitei to soften Kenpachi’s badass appearance. He ended up making a pretty scary looking woman, and the fact that he threatened to fight anyone who laughed (the sake flowed pretty liberally at the after-party) didn’t soften his appearance.

Rangiku:

*She ended up using so many layers of wrappings to try taming her impressive breasts, she ended up passing out backstage. The sad fact is, it was mostly for nothing. Rangiku learned another example of how her boobs simply cannot be contained.

~Overall, it was a nice night out and they raised more than their goal for the Seireitei’s Orphaned Children Fund. Mysterious, unnamed donations were largely to thank for that. Byakuya, Rukia, and Jushiro were the biggest donors though they wouldn’t admit it and refused to take any credit.

~Lisa ran off with one of Shinji’s falsies leaving him lopsided for the rest of the night.

~More than a few of the contestants were hit on by sake-inebriated members of the Gotei 13 before the night was over. Tetsuzaemon took a particular liking to Jushiro and Yumichika, before Renji took his glasses off and reminded him who they were.

[satsurikusajira]

Needles 02

2359 words

reverse harem (FOC x Everyone)

chapter 01

They ordered drinks and food, most of it being ordered by Ikkaku, but Rin wasn't worried about the tab. She winked at Lieutenant Matsumoto and the buxom woman pulled a set of cards out of her uniform with a smile.

"Who's up for a card game?" the men around them groaned and Yumichika snatched the deck from her hands before she could start shuffling. "Hey!" she protested, but the deck was passed to Renji, who was two seats away from her, and promptly hid the deck in his uniform.

"No." he huffed. "You two have some scam going on, you always bleed us dry when we play against you." Both Lieutenants glared at each other, until Matsumoto sighed in defeat, looking over at Rin.

"We had a good run." she shrugged.

"You're just trying to swindle our money so you don't have to pay the tab." Ikkaku accused Rin, his finger wagging in her face.

"You're a seated officer." she argued. "You make 10 times what I get from the academy."

"Eh." he waved her argument away. "You'll be a seated officer in no time." and went back to his drink. He raised an eyebrow at Rin's silence and looked over at her.

"You really think so?" she asked, a shy smile on her face, a hopeful shimmer in her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean, you got us to train you!" he gestured to the table. Yumichika had the boasting smile of a prideful brother, and Renji was nodding into his drink, probably a little too tipsy to register what he was agreeing to, but Lieutenant Matsumoto had her eyes narrowed at her, a knowing smile on her lips. "Don't you worry about a thing, Rin!" Ikkaku continued, wrapping his arm brotherly around her shoulders and pulling her into a side-hug.

"Well, in that case, another round!" Rin called the waitress over and waved a coin purse in the air. Ikkaku cheered, and lifted his cup in celebration, freezing as he recognized the coin purse as his own. He patted his pockets.

"You little thief!" he made a grab for his money, but Rin had already paid the waitress. When he finally managed to get his wallet back, it was significantly lighter.

Rin laughed and drank with her brother and his friends. In a few weeks, she would be a Shinigami. Pulling the invitation forms from her pocket, she read them one by one, shuffling the papers into least to most attractive choice.

First, came third division. Captain Ichimaru gave Rin the creeps, but aside from that, third division didn't really interest her. The process of becoming a seated officer was pretty much basic, so she set the paper down as a last resort.

Next, came eleventh division. Captain Zaraki was a fight happy man, and had told her she wasn't strong enough. He probably gave her the form because Lieutenant Kusajishi missed some female company, and she was already so close to the division members, her brother and friends being from eleventh. But, as she had said, it was a rooster pen. If she wanted to be ogled at, she would join third.

Then, came tenth division. Captain Hitsugaya was a master tactician, kido expert and amazing at swordplay. No doubt she would learn a lot from being in his division. She still felt it would be cheating if she decided to join tenth, since Lieutenant Matsumoto seemed to favour her.

Finally, her two first choices: Second, and Twelfth. She held one form in each hand, not noticing Ikkaku watching her think as he sipped his wine.

Second division was under the command of Captain Soi-Fon. The Onmitsukido was a dream come true, and her Zanpakuto could be put to good use in stealth missions. She was small, quick, and the prospect of learning how to better suppress her reiatsu and hone her shunpo skills attracted her to no end. It would be hard work, but she was willing to give her best.

Her desire to join Twelfth division was merely to use their labs and research facilities. She only had one interest, which was to research Chihari's abilities to their full extent. She probably wouldn't be allowed to research only what she wanted, and most labs were under tight restrictions. It would take years for her to gain access to them. Not to mention the horror stories she heard about new division members being used as cannon fodder and lab rats.

"Go with second." Ikkaku's voice in her ear made her crash back into reality. His arm was resting on the back of her chair and he was leaning into her, reading over her shoulder. "Don't even think about twelfth, your brother will kill you." he took a sip of his drink. "And I'll help."

"I really want access to the research centre." she muttered back at him, glancing at the other three at the table, but they were too busy drinking and laughing at Lieutenant Matsumoto's lewd story and suggestive gestures.

"You can figure out your sword with meditation and training like the rest of us." he frowned at her insistence. "You'll do well in second. You almost had Renji." he waved his left hand at the redhead on her other side, simultaneously brushing her arm and calling said redhead's attention.

"She did not!" Renji studied them. "You two are cosy!" he grinned. Yumichika snapped his head to them and frowned at his friend. Rin just rolled her eyes as Ikkaku wrapped his arm across her chest and pulled her closer.

"You jealous, Abarai?" Rin could hear the cocky grin.

"Don't worry, Renji, he doesn't have any hair I can pull." Rin winked at the satisfied redhead as Ikkaku sputtered in his drink. Renji was about to speak, when the words died in his mouth and a cautiously blank look overcame his face.

"So, ya like hair pullin'?" A voice sent chills down Rin's spine. She shuddered involuntarily as her braid was tugged. She looked up at the Captain of the third division, who had her hair between his fingers.

"Uh, good evening, Captain Ichimaru." Rin turned in her seat, pressing closer to Ikkaku and pulling her head away.

"Are ya considering my division?" he grinned at the form on the table.

"I'm…" Rin cleared her throat. "I'm giving all invitations some thought, Captain. It's a big decision."

"If ya have any questions, don't hesitate to ask." He leaned down and grabbed the form from the table, pressing it into her hand. He smelled pleasantly of soap, with some citrusy undertone, but his closeness still irked her. "My door is open anytime." He grinned at her, his face too close for comfort. She caught a rare glimpse of his blue eyes, before he was yanked away by a tipsy Lieutenant Matsumoto.

"Gin! Leave her alone, she's coming to tenth!" She tried to push him away, but her drunkenness only made her lean on him to try and keep steady. "Oh, you smell nice."

"Do I?" Gin's attention turned fully to the busty woman draped on him. Without even a backwards glance, he started off with her on his arm.

"Do we rescue her?" Rin made to rise, but Renji put a hand on her forearm, shaking his head.

"They've been sleeping together on and off, she's fine." he reached for the form Captain Ichimaru had pressed into her hand. "So we'll get rid of this…" he searched the table and found the form for twelfth division. "And this."

"What? No!" Rin lunged for the second form, but Ikkaku grabbed her collar.

"You're not going to twelfth, Rin!" he huffed. "Get it through your head." he relaxed his grip as she sat back down, still grumbling as Renji ripped the forms, but kept his arm around her shoulders.

"So." Yumichika eyed his friend's hand on her shoulder, but chose not to comment. "Second, tenth and eleventh."

"She's going to choose second." Ikkaku said nonchalantly.

"I figure tenth." Renji shrugged.

"Nonsense, you're joining us in eleventh, of course, right?" Yumichika reached out and held her hand.

"Let's bet on it!" Lieutenant Matsumoto came back, her lips swollen and a disgruntled look on her face. "I bet tenth as well!" They all slapped some money on the table and looked at Rin, who gulped.

"I still have a week to decide!" she shuffled the forms in her hands.

"No!" the busty lieutenant wedged herself between Rin and Renji, who quickly slid off his chair and into Lieutenant Matsumoto's empty seat as she nearly plopped herself on his lap. "You have to choose now!"

"But…"

"Come on, you've made up your mind already." Ikkaku nudged her.

"Well…"

"I knew it, you'll be so happy in eleventh…" Yumichika smiled and started to scoop up the coins.

"Actually…" Rin put a hand on the coins to stop him. "I'm leaning towards Second Division." she could almost hear her brother's hopes crashing.

"But…I thought…you…" Yumichika was truly upset.

"I know, I know." Rin stood and walked around Ikkaku as he was collecting his money to hug her brother. "But imagine this: Your sister could be in the Onmitsukido one day!" she said with a smile, finally feeling this to be the right decision as her brother's arms wrapped around her waist.

"Yeah." Her brother sniffed. "Rin?"

"What, Yumi-nii?" she ran her hand over his hair.

"You stink."

---

Lieutenant Matsumoto had decided to accompany Rin to the bathhouse, claiming it was too late for an academy student to be out by herself. Rin took a deep breath in anticipation. She knew she would end up having to carry the busty woman home. Again. The girls bid goodbye to the three friends, as Renji finally took the stolen cards from his haori and started shuffling, Yumichika and Ikkaku tossing coins on the table. Once outside, Rin shifted the other woman's weight on her shoulders.

"You okay to walk all the way, Lieutenant Matsumoto?"

"Rin?"

"Yes?"

"I know you're just being respectful, but I really do want you to call me by my name. Are we not friends?"

"We are...Rangiku." Rin smiled at her friend's giggle. "But I'm still calling you Lieutenant if we're ever on duty together."

"Baby steps, Rin-chan."

They arrived at the bathhouse some twenty minutes later, after a lot of stumbling around, thanks to Rangiku's much larger frame. The bathhouse was kept in order by fourth division, and Rin ended up happy she got rejected. She would hate to be mistreated for keeping Seireitei clean and healthy. She was always polite, but from now on, she promised herself to make an effort to be extra kind to fourth division members.

They left their clothes by the lockers, and wrapped themselves in towels, walking over to sit and wash up. Rin sighed as she washed the grime and sweat of the day away, simultaneously steadying Rangiku's shoulders every time she teetered sideways.

"Please don't fall…" she whispered as they made their way to one of the hot springs. Rangiku had sobered up enough with the washing, so she was steadier on her feet, laughing at Rin's concern. "Don't laugh! I was ready to rescue you from Captain Ichimaru, but Renji told me you needed no rescuing…"

"Gin and I aren't a thing." Rangiku sat down on the edge of the pool and looked at the night sky reflecting off the waves.

"How come? You two know each other for like...forever. And you've been on and off for, what? 30 years? More?" Rin sat by her side and slipped into the warm water.

"I'm not enough woman for Gin." Rangiku sighed and kicked her feet underwater.

"What?! Nonsense! One day you'll find someone who gives you all the attention and love you deserve, and he's gonna be left behind, wondering why." Rin spread her arms underwater and walked backwards until her feet could barely touch the ground. "That man needs to get his priorities in order." She stopped when she felt herself bump into something and turned, thinking she still had enough room in the pool, only to come face to face with Captain Soi Fon. "Captain! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!"

"Not speaking ill of a Captain, are you, Ayasegawa?" Soi Fon still had that amusement shining in her eyes.

"Me? Oh, no, captain, I mean, well…" Rin looked back at Rangiku for support, but the redhead was giggling, holding her sides. "Rangiku, tell her!"

"It's fine, Rin-chan. Soi Fon is aware." she stopped giggling and sighed sadly. "Most of Seireitei is."

"That's enough." Rin huffed and splashed water on Rangiku. "I am making it my personal mission to help you find someone halfway decent for you!" Rin nodded at herself when Rangiku shot her a grateful smile. This would be no easy task, but she was set on helping out her friend.

The three women were the only ones in the bathhouse, at least in the women's half. they could hear soft splashing from across the bamboo wall separating men and women. They lazed around for a while, until the moon was high, and Rin sighed.

"I have to get back."

"Huh?" Rangiku lifted her head from the edge, where she had been resting.

"I have finals tomorrow. I shouldn't even have been out drinking tonight." Rin heaved herself up out of the water and looked back to find Captain Soi Fon missing. She didn't even hear the woman leave the pool. The amount of skill she could learn from her made Rin giddy and happy with her decision to join Second.

"You'll do fine, Rin-chan." Rangiku stood and wrapped herself in her towel, having had time to sober up enough to walk by herself.

They walked back a ways together, Rangiku bidding her goodnight and walking off to the left towards tenth division, while Rin continued on to the academy. The streets were empty and dark, but she heard neither sensed any danger until she got to the gates of the Academy, when she stopped in her tracks and gulped at the sight before her.

Ichimaru Gin was leaning against the gate, his arms and ankles crossed, grinning at her.