#how to prepare for back to school
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How to Prepare Your Child for the Upcoming School Year: Tips from Strelitz International Academy
Getting your child ready for a new school year can be a challenge, but with proper guidance, it becomes much easier! This insightful blog from Strelitz International Academy, a private elementary school in virginia beach provides practical advice for parents, covering everything from establishing routines to fostering a love for learning. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or continuing in the IB program, these tips will ensure a smoother transition into the school year. Schedule a visit.
#how to prepare for back to school#how to prepare for a new school year#back to school preparation#virginia beach elementary schools#private elementary school
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honey, was it enough?... ♡ 🎀🍂🧸 ྀ𓂃 ࣪˖



#divider by dollywons ♡#made by bee ୨𖹭୧#i wanted to make an autumn vision board#so i figured since id collected a bunch of really pretty pictures i'd make it a mb!#i was thinking the other day about how i wanted to make this blog more me-curated#and add more purpose to what i post#so i think this is such a cute and sweet start#prepare for my school one in a moment#i go back tomorrow and im EEUUGH#in all honesty#i am actually kind of looking forward to it#as much as i loved this summer (for the first time !!!!!!!!!!!!)#i want to stop dreading school and make this my year#lets go guys!!!!!!!!!!!!♡#we GOT this#autumn#fall aesthetic#autumn aesthetic#autumn moodboard#fall moodboard#pink and brown#pink and brown moodboard#halloween#halloween moodboard#girly stuff#this is what makes us girls#girly tumblr#girlhood#bee's diaries ୨𖹭୧
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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cherik hallmark movie au send tweet
reading this roused a visceral reaction within me im so sorry if you had something wholesome in mind
#snap chats#one christmas all my grandma would do was watch hallmark christmas movies back to back while i was in the room#i like how i say 'one christmas' when i mean all of december like fuckin thats what december IS jackass it's christmas: the month#anyway. yeah sure fuck it why not. cherik hallmark movie au.#maybe charles works as a teacher at pietro/wanda/lorna's school and takes extra time to mentor the kids#and Incidentally maybe one of them asks charles what hes doing for christmas As Kids Do With Amicable Teachers#and charles has to confess Not Much since he's pretty estranged from his family + him and gaby are a bit rocky idk#he wont say THAT part why the hell your teacher gonna talk about his divorce. he dont even know he has a kid either thats fucked up Anyway#of course this leads to the Impromptu Invite to erik's house for the holidays. to which of course invites erik to go What.#Kids You Cant Just Invite Your Ethics Teacher For Christmas Dinner its too late. now they gotta start preparing#you have two weeks dad chop chop#bear in mind charles and erik probably kept interactions to a minimum. in this au I Fucking GUESS#so now they have to actually make an effort to know each other so dinner's not awkward as christ#blah blah blah they fall in love Happy Ending
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Guys if I disappear in like... May, this fucking thing will be why
That monstrosity is a list of all the tests I have to pass to get the baccalaureate, and I need that to ... basically to get pretty much any job I'd like to do
I had to create that thing myself, using multiple government website pages about the bac(calaureat, we're lazy) because comprehensible information is apparently not a thing
close-ups/explanations under the cut
blue= explanation of an abbreviation
green= explanation of an abbreviation but it's a list that you don't need to read to understand this
italics= word(s) in french
note: i haven't reread this super carefully, so if I say oral on its own, i do mean oral exam, in french we just say un oral so my brain may forget the word exam lol
BFI: Baccalauréat Français International, basically I have 8 hours of English a week instead of the normal 3 (although with LLCE and/or AMC you get 9 or 15 hours but i'll get to that in a minute) and I have a bilingual level of English [technically I already had that but most of my friends didn't]
Coef(ficient) [x]: ...ok so i have no idea how this works really but it's basically how much is this grade worth. If you get 19/20 coefficient 1 then you got 19/20. If you get it coef 2, I think that means you got 38/40 etc. So coef 20 is huge.
DBQ: Document Based Question
Durée: length of time, how long does this test take
ACL: Anglais C? Litérature, literature basically (shakespeare and gothic make sense, O'Brien is the name of my teacher and hopefully it's a common enough name that it doesn't matter that I just realized his name's still on here oops; he's my poetry and drama?? teacher but since we don't really know what to call his class, we just call it by his name. He teaches about poetry yes but also we're also studying Beckett's Happy Days which is a play, not poetry)
CDM: Connaissances du "Monde", lit. Knowledge of the (British) World, we have to do some research projects which we will present in an oral at the end of the year
There's about 50 kids in my school who will have to do all that this year, about 50 who will have to do that next year, etc.
There's about 1500 students in my school, there's 3 years so only about 500 students passing the bac at my school this year, and only 10% of us have to do this many exams.
The international section doesn't really exist in other schools however, so there's a really small percentage of french kids total who have to do all this.
All that stuff is admittedly my "fault" for choosing to do the international section.
Everything else is mandatory(-ish)
Tronc commun: Everyone has to do this
(notice how the coefficients are at like 8, not frickin 20)
Philosophy: we have to either write for 4 hours about a single sentence they'll give us as a subject (and it can be about practically anything) (that's a "dissertation", or 'dissert' because we have really long names for stuff but then we don't bother saying the full name) OR write a "explanation of the text" which i have no idea how that works bc my teacher's a bit incompetent
N/A: Not applicable, that's for the time the exam takes, we get tested in class so there's not really a set time for stuff
(I know that's ridiculously small sorry)
Ok so now we're getting to the fun little french thing that no one who's not french ever seems to know
In 11th grade (1ère) we have to choose 3 areas to specialize in out of the following (can vary slightly based on schools):
HGGSP: Histoire-géographie, géopolitique et sciences politiques, aka political science and social studies
HLP: Humanités, littérature et philosophie, aka humanities, literature and philosophy (oo it's almost the same words in both languages)
LLCE: Langues, littératures et cultures étrangères, aka English (lit. languages, literatures and foreign cultures but it's really just English class)
AMC: Anglais monde contemporain, aka English again (lit. English contemporary world and again it's just English class)
Mathématiques - transparent
Physique-chimie: Physics and chemistry. No those aren't the same, but yes I only figured that out bc someone explained that to me, bc those two are always taught in the same classroom and with the same teacher for some reason
SVT: Sciences de la vie et de la Terre, aka "Sciences of life and the earth" (you know, bc that's specific), aka Biology + Geology
SES: Sciences économiques et sociales, aka economics and social sciences
NSI: Numériques et sciences informatiques, aka computer science
Arts (arts plastiques, cinéma-audiovisuel, histoire des arts): The list I found with all the names of these spécialités (bc they're only ever referred to by their acronyms) has art be split up like that [technically there were more but i cut them lol] which is weird bc I've never seen art history be separated from actually-making-art (arts plastiques-- Why are they plastic I have no idea) and I didn't think cinema had art history
In 11th as I said you choose 3, and you have 4 hours of each per week.
In 12th grade (terminale), you drop one of the 3 subjects you chose so that you can concentrate more on the other two, with 6 hours of each per week.
The most common combination is math, physics, biology and then one of them gets dropped.
This is just a zoom on the two I kept, I had computer science as my third spé last year.
This combination is extremely uncommon, I only know 1 other person who did those 3 subjects lol.
SVT (biology/geology): Ecrit: I have to write stuff; I wrote either or but it turns out it's both, anyways I have to do a DBQ (see above) and answer a question based on knowledge. TP aka Travaux pratiques: uhhh idk how to explain this other than actually doing science instead of just talking about it.
Art: Ecrit: Analyse du corpus d'oeuvres: we have to analyze a collection of works of art based on a question we're given, and then we can do either a note d'intention pour un projet d'exposition, lit. a note of intentions for an exhibition project; basically we have to take one (or two) of the works of art we saw in the first part and say how we'd put it in a museum. or we do the analyse de corpus + a commentaire critique, where you have to answer a question, for example on a mock we had a question about whether or not AI counts as art; and we had a text and a new work of art An oral is the same word in both; a lot of subjects don't have orals (svt for example) and basically we have to talk about the project we worked on for the whole year. I think. Pratique: actually getting to work on creating something. I'm doing an animation, my friends are doing a frieze that's themed on marine life, something to do with leaves, a crochet project that's also marine life themed, something space themed?, and a mini forest in a suitcase. Some of our classmates are doing sculptures (there's a sculpture of a female bust with holes in it and handprints all over it), someone is - i think - making a musical instrument from scratch, someone else does a lot of paintings that are humongous with lots of bold colors... This is the best part about art as a subject because you get to choose what you do.
Next up, another thing that all french people know and no one outside of france knows; contrôle continu
That is basically classes where we don't have a big test at the end of the year, which is nice, but we still have tests and at the end of the year the average of all of the tests done in these subjects counts as a percentage of the grade you get for the bac.
Maths comp(lémentaires -- we love shortening words lol) aka complementary math?: you can choose to abandon math as a spécialité but still keep some math classes in 12th. There's also something called maths expertes, lit. expert math, which is the same thing but with harder classes; but given that i only know one person who does that, i completely forgot to include it here lol
Both math classes here are optional, everything else till LV3 is mandatory.
Coef 3 en 1ère, 3 en terminale: the averages of both 12th grade and 11th grade are counted
Histoire-géo(graphy): social studies (lit. history and geography)
Enseignement scientifique: so. this thing. Despite the fact that you can take biology and physics as spé, everyone has to do this "scientific education" where the kids who took biology are bored in biology classes, the kids who took physics are bored in physics classes, the kids who took both waste two hours per week listening to stuff they already know, and the people who took neither physics nor biology are also usually pretty bored because even if there's one or two students who are interested by science but were more tempted by other things, most of them didn't take science as spés because they don't like science.
It's a great system /s.
In fairness, we are doing more or less useful things; in biology we're talking about evolution and we mentioned how - especially in France - antibiotics are being used too much and so are becoming less effective. For the people who don't do science, I suppose that's important to know, for me at least the effect was ruined by the fact that I had done that in spés like a week earlier.
In physics, we've been working on energy consumption and kind of how it works, but there's too much math in physics for me to be super interested lol.
LV2 aka Langue vivante 2, aka "living language 2": As I'm writing this I just realized that I forgot to include the LV1 in this pdf lol.
In 7th grade (or 6th if you're an overambitious nerd like me), you have to choose a "second" language, that you'll keep till at least 12th grade, and then afterwards idk how it works. The first language is English by default, you *can* make english your 2nd language but that's complex and Idk enough about how that works. French is taught from 1rst to 11th but doesn't count as a living language for some reason.
Most schools offer Spanish and another language, my middle school had Spanish + German, a friend of mine does Chinese as a 2nd language and there's probably other options depending on the school. Oddly enough, despite the fact that Belgium is at the closest about 20 minutes away from my house by car and the Netherlands are at the closest 1h30 away, Dutch is not a commonly taught language I think. Spain is at the closest about 10 hours away by car, and yet it's far more taught.
(The reason I forgot the LV1 is that in the international section, we automatically get the highest grade possible, 20/20, bc they're grading us based on British standards so they're basically saying that we speak English)
EMC, Education Morale et Civique: I'm going to be honest and say that I have no idea what this class is for or how to translate it lol, desoite having had this since 6th grade. Literally the words mean civic and moral education and if that sounds like propaganda, well, it sort of is. We've had many classes on how to be a good citizen, and how democracy works I think, but we've also had classes on other completely unrelated stuff.
Most of the grades in EMC are group presentations, and so I could not tell you about a single thing I got graded on lol
Spé abandonnée en 1ère: lit. spé abandoned in 11th. Yes we use the word abandoned for this lol, other than that I think I covered it earlier
LV3: So following the logic from LV1/LV2, I think you can guess what this is. This is a third, optional language you can take, most people don't bother because we already have too many classes.
I however am not most people lol, but I'll be adding my friend as an example here because the language I chose could be confusing given what I said earlier about LV2s. Antony [not their real name] is in the international section so has English as the default LV1, they took German as an LV2 and they took Japanese as their LV3. Based off of this logic, I have the same thing except I have Spanish as my LV3 and not Japanese. (I'm not sure how clear this would be on it's own because as I said most schools offer Spanish as an LV2 and most people choose that as their LV2. Since I did German as my LV2, I only started taking Spanish classes in 10th grade)
My school, being an international school, offers an extremely large range of third language possibilities: As I've mentioned, there's Japanese and Spanish, but also Italian, Chinese, Portugese, Polish, maybe German, possibly Dutch and possibly/probably others but I don't know for sure. (I just checked and they don't actually offer German as a 3rd language, but they do offer Dutch, and that's it. "Only" 7 languages, I kinda thought there were more [i think most schools have like one or two. A quick google search for the other school I could have gone to tells me that that school offers Spanish and Arabic as 3rd languages and that's it])
Oh and there's often Latin or Ancient Greek offered at the same time as the LV3 I think, but as they're dead languages they don't count as langues vivantes lol
And we reach the end, with these two.
Français (1ère): As 12th graders, we've already done this part of the bac, last year. The French exam used to be the same year as all the rest but if you've read this far, I think you see the problem with that lol
The grade counts as a percentage of the total bac
And last and certainly worst; the Grand Oral: Lit. the big oral, we have absolutely no preparations for this at school and need to research stuff on our own, in our "free time", whatever that is /j. (... well actually /hj)
I've had 1 teacher talk to me about this, it was my biology teacher, and so depending on the teachers you have for spés, I wouldn't be surprised if some of my classmates hadn't been told the specifics of this sucker at all.
What we have to do is prepare not 1 but 2 possible questions, either 1 per spécialité or a mix between the two subjects (there may be other possibilities but as I said almost no one has told anything about this so this is based off of my recollections of what my biology teacher said and what i found on two government websites.). The reason you prepare two subjects is so that the examinators can choose which one they want you to talk about. Twice the work, twice the stress, for a 20 minute thing.
You have to present your topic for about 10-15 minutes iirc, and then answer some questions.
In biology, my teacher gave us a few vague topics we could use as starting points for our grand oraux (yes the plural of 'oral' is 'oraux', the french language is weird), and basically it's a whole ass reasearch project that we don't get any dedicated hours to in our schedule, that no one has told us about/reminded us of and we have to do that on top of everything else here.
In case my tone isn't clear, I find this ridiculously stupid. I don't like oral exams in the first place, but usually when we have to do some in subjects such as EMC, they don't give us any other work to do while we research our oral, at least in that subject. Another reason I really dislike this is because of CDM (see the first pic, about the international section exams).
CdM is 2 hours a week where we do some research for our research projects. Again, we have 2 hours every single week, with a teacher present, to do nothing but research (and send emails to potential research partners technically), for an exam at the end of the year. This is an international section thing, so the research is in English.
There was the option of adding 2 hours a week for a very small percentage of people to learn how to research in English, and despite the fact that most people would complain if they had more hours of school, the 2 hours a week of research are genuinely useful. I've gotten a lot done since September, and I'm pretty confident about the oral.
For the grand oral, I need to come up with 2 subjects by the end of vacation (we have a 2 week break starting today because it's France and also my class at least already has terrible mental health, if we had to keep this schedule up every single week till May we'd be reduced to like 5 students per class because everyone would be having breakdowns or burnout [Antony is technically not slowing their schedule down over this break (or really any of the other breaks we had), but they're insane /aff /hj. more on that in the tags lol]) not because the school finally realized they should probably remind us of this, but because my biology teacher's a very competant and organized woman who wants to know our subjects so she can help us. (I've had teachers I've liked more or where I've been more interested in their class, but man do I love her for this, other than 2 of my international teachers, she feels like the only competant adult in this school)
#no tags leave me alone#in better news my aunt got me one of paul castle's pengrooms and it is ADORABLE I LOVE IT#french education system#international baccalaureate#baccalauréat#right so as I promised: Antony#Antony is doing and has been doing a “prépa médecine” which means that they're taking extra classes outside of school - I think only during#vacation but I wouldn't put it past them to work on that during the school period- to prepare them to med school. I already dunno how med#school works here so I can't compare to other systems but it sounds hard as fuck to even just GET IN to med school and- knowing them they'l#do amazingly-but the amount of extra work they have to put in just to be able to try to do the first year of med school is absolutely insan#Anyways they're doing that the first week of vacation and then the second week + the first week after they're in Japan on a school trip#That sounds fun but they'll come back having to deal with jetlag + catching up on an entire week's worth of classes#if you read all this for some reason then say good luck to antony lol#i am NOT rereading all that so if anything's incomprehensible feel free to ask for a clarification but i'll answer later bc it is 2am oops#i am going to bed now lol
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playing through the games again... i missed my faves
#will return with drawings of gumshoe and franziska (more of my faves)#my art#traditional art#sketchbook#sketches#artists on tumblr#sketch#ace attorney#ema skye#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ignore how weird some of my edgeworths are i was getting back into the groove of drawing traditionally using him#pls expect more traditional drawings from me cos my schools gonna do a total ban on phones/tablets and im kinda preparing for that mentally#peachsoda art
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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason
#i'm exaggerating but not that much. my parents are like that because they're in their 50s. they were young adults once#okay so my brother. 18 years of age. just started his fancy higher studies in maths. tiny baby goatee he's not shaving.#went to a friend's week long birthday party in a house in the countryside#made out with a girl there?? apparently???#started drinking alcohol. and has now been going out longer and more frequently and sleeping at other people's places#and bestie. let me tell you. i was never doing any of that shit. in fact i am not doing any of that still and i'm a few years older#i don't go out much. i have like four or five friends at all times tops. i certainly don't come back late or god forbid sleep over#never drunk alcohol (don't want to. i could! i just don't. i'm the sober idiot in the corner when everyone else is drunk)#never kissed anyone or had a partner or anything of the sort#he decided to sleep over at midnight?? with zero preparation??#buddy it would have to be pouring acid rain for me to have an unplanned sleepover#without my toothbrush? my pyjama? my phone charger? my plushies? possibly my own pillow/blanket? be for real#my brother is a normal teenager/young adults with a social life and no weird hangup about romance and alcohol and spontaneity#and i'm some kind of freak i guess. having a normal time#older sister girlfailure forever i suppose. how the fuck do i feel like my younger brother is cooler and more normal than me???#i don't even want to be like that i like myself i thought i left all this stupid unfounded insecurity behind with school!!#arghhhhhh#wow i have a ramble tag now
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so i took my car in today because i thought it might just need some more brake fluid and although i tried to just look at it myself i couldn't for the life of me figure out which part under the hood was the brake fluid reservoir without having to lean all over my car and get all dirty, so i figured i might just have to pay a service fee and whatever for the fluid itself...
turns out i need all new brake pads !!
ahaha
haha
ha
yay
#i swear to god it's like my car knows whenever it's tax time#like 'hey can i have some money pwease? pweaaaaase just a thousand dollars for new brakes pretty pwease?!'#i guess!!!!!!#i kinda need 'em#jokes on you though because i haven't even filed my taxes yet#i'm gonna have to wait until next week when i get paid but they said i should be able to drive on them for maybe another month as they are#i had other stuff i was gonna do today but given the circumstances i decided to just park my ass back at home#mostly i've been trying to do some ~research of the local libraries to prepare for school which is starting....soon#but i'll just have to postpone my research for the time being#it's funny too because i was watching a tiktok the other day of 'what to do if your breaks fail'#i even almost scrolled past it but something told me to go back and watch#and now i guess i know why#fortunately i haven't had to use that information just yet#but dear god today whenever i put on the breaks it sounds like thunder#just a terrible sound for a car to make#prior to that all that happened was my break light kept coming on whenever i accelerated#it would go off once i'd been rolling for a little bit or sometimes if i'd ease off the gas and then accelerate again#and when i tried to research it myself that's where i got the break fluid thing from#really hoped it was going to be that simple but it never is!!#that's just the rules!!#so anyway that's how my weekend's starting off#not great tbh but it could be a lot worse so i'm just gonna be grateful this is something i can fix#(even if i really don't want to)#and just move on with it and hope nothing else tears up on this goddamn car#because it wasn't that long ago i had to take it in for something else so....#if i could go like....mmm a year maybe before i need any more expensive ass repairs i'd really appreciate it#tires i'm looking you straight in the eye don't you even think about it#i did have my follow up with my urologist today also and they did another x-ray#she said she doesn't see the stone anymore so i believe it did in fact pass so that's some good news !!#we're just gonna keep an eye on the one that's on the other side and still in my kidney
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I rly do wanna continue the eldrin teacher modern thing bc lowkey if a sexy elf man mentored me through my first year of teaching maybe I wouldn’t have quit before three years 🧍♂️ I just need to. Idea.
Because I pull from a lot of my own experiences from writing and I think the set up has a lot of potential but my experience in the public school system was. BAD.
I just think there’s a lot of potential for fun worldbuilding and cute wholesome moments! And skipping staff meetings to fuck in the supply closet!
#eebeeyaps#trauma dumping in the tags#public school was so bad I got diagnosed with ptsd AGAIN#we had a lot of lockdowns for gun violence in the area and a few for guns in the school#and parents threatening me that was kinda crazy#also got a pinched nerve in my back from having to teach band and orchestra with no classroom#so I pushed a 200lb cart around the entire school#yikes#also uvalde happened my first year and we had a big meeting abt how we need to be prepared to die for our students#and a teacher killed herself#so I think it just was not meant to be
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I am stressed, and I am on edge, and I feel like I'm actually, legitimately reaching my limit. It's kinda funny how my mom was the one to push me there
#she seems to think i have all the time in the world#but i don't think she realizes just how much of that time is spent mentally recovering from#or preparing for#something#i also don't think she realizes she is a huge part of the problem#on top of the general school and work stuff#she's been badgering me to do things for a while now#it's cleaning my room#or applying to jobs#or going to church#or reading the bible#it's always something#there's always something im not doing well enough#then she'll go behind my back and make plans involving me without telling me and then blame ME for not being considerate of those plans#she had the fucking gall to say “there's something going on that you aren't telling me”#like no shit it's almost as if any time i talk to you about something you either blow me off or turn it against me#apparently im getting pretty good at hiding when im having a shit time when im not actively trying to make sure the person knows#to the point when i had an actual panic attack before a surgery once it supposedly came out of nowhere for her#like im starting to realize just how disconnected from my life she actually is at this point and i don't think i care to fix it#i shouldn't fucking have to#i shouldn't have to deal with that on top of school. work. my social life. my finances. hygiene. self-care. etc#not when i don't think she's willing to put through any effort towards improvement#not when she's “the grown adult”#not when her reaction to me making a mistake or losing motivation for something is often along the lines of...#“do you want to end up like your father?”#im so unbelievably fucking done#im about ready to give someone more than just a piece of mind. they're about to get the whole fucking mess of a thing.#the best part? this week's all downhill from here#gobby rants
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some people i know are able to be in school full time while ALSO having a part time job AND still finding time for extracurricular activities and hobbies and such. and its like. I DONT KNOW HOW YOU DO THAT. because i am always so fucking wiped from 3 days a week of school. and im expected to like get my homework done and do my projects and stuff i cant doooo all that. im too busy being dead. fuckkkkk.
#i really feel sometimes like im just barely scraping by#Auuuugh i should not have gone to that party on saturday that was so stupid stupid stupid#cuz i needed two whole days to recover and now i have school to go back to and i never got my essay done in time#i barely have ANYTHING for it#and theres still more to write and 2 presentations to prepare for and mountains of homework#cant fucking do anything#i dont know how i ever made it to my 3rd year
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in the midst of writing my exam today i was literally being like “well what do i do if i fail this.” bc that’s how fucked it was 😭
#i feel like i prepared decently even but the prof just did a bad job of teaching us how to apply the principles#HOWEVER possible upside—many ppl including my friend seemed to have as much trouble as i did#and in law school we’re all graded against a curve#so if NO ONE does well…it could work out in my favour#also definitely had to hold back some tears and literal almost crying hasn’t happened in an exam context for me in many years#slay serve werk
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First day back at the university and I still suck at this exactly as much as I did 4 years ago
#i wish doing something over and over actually made it easier from then on#how come i've done this so many times and i'm still as horrified by the prospect of group projects and exams and all as in the very start#can they invent a higher education that doesn't require you to prepare a group project for every damn subject that exists#can they also invent an intercating with people#in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like the only person on earth who somehow doesn't get it#how do people just start talking and becoming friends :( it's literally impossible for me#it's such a mystery. how the hell do they all do this. what's your fucking secret !!!!!!!!!#not that i expected to become friends with anyone in one day#but one day was already enough for me to start feeling as alienated and othered from everyone else as i've always felt#like god it's always the same damn thing. each year i hope it'll be different and it's still the fucking same#i try to appear nice and approachable and chime in to the conversation whenever i can (just like i've been doing for the past 4 years)#but i guess there must just be something deeply wrong with me that makes everyone avoid me in the end anyway#am i really that unfriendable. can anyone tell me what i'm doing wrong#and why no one is interested in holding a conversation with me for more than 5 minutes in total#it's literally back to the same thing that i've done over and over before and i truly don't see any point in any of this anymore#it's just so ridiculous 😭😭😭 why do i even keep trying at this point#back to school so back to crying alone in my room every evening i guess#how beautiful how poetic. i almost forgot this was the daily standard for the entire past year#never getting out of this ok i get it :))#friendship was meant to be for everyone but me i get it now!!!#worst year ever everything bad is happening. going to my first funeral on thursday i'm definitely going to take that well hahaha#it's been only a day and i'm already so done. ok.#i'm freaking out man what am i even supposed to be doing anymore. it's all pointless
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Getting back into teacher mode tomorrow 🫡
#or later today actually it's past 1am#giving private english lessons again but for free officially bc of tax shit (gonna let the kid give me a coupon for the media store lol)#just one lesson for now to see how things work and after that for the rest of the school year i think#going back to my old school for that and not looking forward to meeting teachers who ask me where i work now#like thanks to your comment on my school leaving certificate uhh nothing! fuck you#i have to look hot to make up for it tho so i'll be wearing a 60s ish fit and trying to nail the twiggy eyeliner on first try#i lowkey thought she would cancel so i didn't prepare shit but i'm rawdogging my way through it like it worked 6 years ago#she struggles with vocabulary and listening comprehension like girl how am i supposed to help with listening 😭#gonna try to bring out some vocab learning tricks but honestly did the teacher who recommended me think i'm a wizard 💀#if i get her up on good grades call me saint melissa#mel talks
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you know what? it's fine.
#tomorrow i either pass clinical psych or i don't pass. or i get a 3 and i'm forced to consider if it's worth trying again or not#that's fine. then i try to do something with the school psych assignment over the weekend#then i do a bit of preparing for the stupid fucking neuropsych online exam. so I don't go in blind#you gotta know how to cheat and how to use your notes y'know what i mean.#and then i start studying for the comprehensive exam and also work on the research paper#and if i fail clinical psych i can try again one or two weeks later (can't really do one bc i don't want to be back here that week) (so two)#and if i fail the comprehensive exam (or if it's crap like it's a 2 or a 3. bc it kind of needs to be a 5 bc of the degree grade) then i#try again on may 7#and if i don't manage to finish the research paper by may 6 for the first check‚ i still have until the 19th to do it#i will make it through if it kills me.. and it shouldn't like if this tests my limits then i deserve to be hit with a#giant hammer until i die 💀
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