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pespillo · 3 years

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man.

you know what , yeah , ive been a major jackass for gd knows what long, i am bossy, i am annoying at times, i tend to take the wheel umprompted , i think I Know SOOOO much even when really im throwing stuff at the wall seeing what sticks best, i hype myself up because i legitimately feel like i need to do it , maybe im overcompensating a lot, i know i can make people feel Bad when i talk to them and criticize them , i think you all got all the right to criticize me when its due, i Should Drop Shit faster when some things turns out to be bad and not just hold the hot coal 6 months after the fact because my head tells me “there may be a chance things do an upturn right? maybe theres some inner company logistics i dont know about” n wait around like a fucking dog, barking but not biting . I Should have bitten. Maybe i should have been a kinder person sometimes , maybe i should have been a meaner person other times . And if i ever made you feel bad over something small, i Am sorry, i mean it, you deserved better.

but when i tell you all you dont know even half of me i really mean it, you guys dont know the fucking shit ive been through the past 5 years dealing with family and unemployment , i know it seems like i fucking got it alll together , that because i draw well enough to gain a measly income every month , im just living la vida loca and building this hugeee ego about my persona online , You dont fucking know me , and if you do? lemme tell you, i got dumped out from a newish group because apparently they couldnt Ever Tell me that i was a bit too bossy when roleplaying for a stupid fucking arg , they just decided to all block me and ghost me , PRETENDING to be all like “no no we wouldnt ever just cut people off like that lol” , i tried acting like i was gonna be fine, but i felt worthless and abandoned for a good ass month or two , like i did something so awful that it was just better to dump me off like that without any answers or closure , turns out , it was just some petty rp bullshit because how dare i tell someone that their writing can be a bit Much i guess. and you know what ? after i learned that this month, im done being a spineless doormat , i realized just by this stupid drama, i WAS being a doormat to cawthon , i was treating this franchise like it was a real “friend” just because im horribly mentally ill about it and let it overtake me in my late teens, and since it was sooo hard to dump a “friend” i just felt like i JUST couldnt do it full on. thats so fucking dumb isnt it?

listen i have no fucking idea where some of you get the idea that i am some kind of , harasser or some shit like, fine , if you build this idea of me in your head because you think i receive too many compliments (its not like im asking for them , i am not gonna reject Kindness) sure whatever, but i dont waste my fucking time sending anons or calling out random people for nothing, literally i just sit here having to witness vile shit out in the public from people who are legit unapologetic and then putting out a post or two saying “hey what the fuck is wrong with these people please dont expose vulnerable people to the gross shit you put out for sexual gratification”. When do i ever act like im hot shit? i feel like a fucking wimp every day of my life, i feel like im a fragile bitch about everything , like i walk around and feel like i wanna cry but im supposed to suck it alllll up because im a grown ass man now and i need to keep people i care about safe , at all costs, even if most of the time i really wanna say “i wanna kill myself” .

ive said this before, but i am not gonna lay my guts in the sun for strangers to gawk and look at me , not anymore. this is the LAST time i am laying down my problems like this , if you want to seriously talk to me. do it , do it because i literally dont care about blocking random people , i am not gonna fucking block any of you unless you legitimately want me to or , actively try harassing me or harm me or others . And i have good faith in so many people, you should feel good about yourself for having guts to tell it like it is.

anyways, i wish everyone a happy new year´s eve or just , a happy new year, keep yourselves safe and have a good time

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just-some-random-blogger · 6 years

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Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

?????

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group

like hella tight

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but--

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”

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notimetoblog · 6 years

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Falling

Summary: A broken bone could not lead to anything good, right? Well, maybe Dr. Barnes could change your mind.

A/N: Hi! You guys have been too kind on my last few one-shots! It warms my heart every time I get a notification. This is my entry for @sgtjbuccky 3k challenge. A huge congrats to her. She’s incredibly talented and I just cant say that enough! I chose the DoctorAU! prompt from her list of prompts. I was really excited to write this one, so I hope you enjoy it (its a little long and probably medically inaccurate lol I just couldnt stop) . Thank you so much for reading!

“Son of a—” you shouted.

I bet you can’t skate past that tree, your friend, Pete, had said during one of your constant banters. You had been taking a stroll in a nearby park trying to catch-up after very busy weeks, but his words made you stop suddenly. You felt your competitive side bubble up leading you to rip his skateboard out of his hand convincing yourself that you could prove him wrong. How hard could skateboarding even be? You just pushed yourself with one foot, and then, well you weren’t sure what came after, but it couldn’t be that hard if your smug friend could do it. And that tree wasn’t even that far away. So, you hopped on the skateboard and barely made it past 4 feet when you toppled off it.

“Y/N! Hey, are you ok?” Pete came rushing to your side. Worry very evident on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just landed a little funny, is all,” you said, speaking through very sharp pain coming from your right leg. “That was all part of the plan, you know,” you added hoping he couldn’t hear your voice wavering.

You just knew that if you went to get up, your leg wouldn’t support your weight, but you were not about to let him know something had definitely happened to it. Pete wasn’t exactly known for being the best in tense situations.

“Shit, Y/N! I think you broke your leg! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. That was a stupid thing to say, I shouldn’t have made that bet.”

“Oh quiet,” you replied with an almost sob as he picked you up and sat you down in a nearby bench. “My leg is not broken. I told you, I just landed funny.”

“No, no, you didn’t just land funny. I really think your leg is broken. Come on I’ll drive you to the hospital.”

“The hospital?! Oh please! You’re making this out to be more than it is! Give it a minute and I promise I’ll feel better. Then I can show you my Tony Hawk skills.”

Why wasn’t the pain going away?! Hadn’t it heard you? PETE WAS NOT GOOD IN TENSE SITUATIONS!

“I think that’s just the shock talking,” he said picking you up once more being careful not to move your leg more than necessary. “Let’s get a professional opinion first, and then, if everything really is fine, I’ll put some bubble wrap and padding around you and maybe teach you how to skate before I let you loose again.”

You rolled your eyes at that. You had never once broken a bone on your body. Yes, there was an enormous amount of pain shooting up from your leg that you were trying your best to ignore for Pete’s sake (hehe), but if you had to break a bone once in your lifetime it would be because you had been bouncing off walls after mastering parkour, or after a tragic run of a gymnastics floor routine at the Olympics, not from falling off a skateboard after a dumb bet with your friend!

After setting you down in the passenger seat of his car, Pete rounded the front of the vehicle and opened up his door.

He looked over at you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. This is all my fault.”

Still not accepting your reality, in order to keep your friend calm of course, you repeated to him that your leg was not broken and that he was making this a bigger deal than it really was.

He was not at all convinced, so he pulled out of the parking spot and drove to the nearest hospital.

After arriving at the emergency room of the hospital, a very friendly nurse offered you a wheel chair, noting that Pete was still carrying you around.

“This is just embarrassing, Pete,” you said as you tried to hide your face as he maneuvered you around the waiting area.

“Oh hush, a broken leg isn’t even an embarrassing injury, Y/N. Knowing you, you are lucky you haven’t been in here for something actually embarrassing.”

“My leg is not broken. If anything, I just sprained something,” you responded, knowing that he could most likely see through your weak attempt at convincing him you were fine.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” a voice said. Well that was fast, you thought. Weren’t emergency rooms notorious for the endless amount of waiting people had to do?

Pete wheeled you past the nurse that had called your name and followed her to an examination room at the end of the hall.

“Ok, so what happened?” she asked.

You noticed the ID that hung from her blue scrubs, identifying her as Mary Escobedo.

You explained to Nurse Escobedo what had happened, making sure to sprinkle “My leg is not broken, though,” at least five times throughout your explanation, even though the constant pain in your leg was making it more than obvious that it most likely was. But poor Pete, yeah your denial was for him, would probably faint if they confirmed what you had been fearing.

The nurse began to laugh a little giving a little shake of her head.

“She’s not very good with these kinds of things,” Pete said. “Always turns her back on stressful situations thinking it will make them go away.”

Ok, so maybe it was really you who couldn’t deal very well with stress. But for goodness sake your leg could not be broken!

“We’ll let the doctor decide then,” Nurse Escobedo said with a smile. “He should be in here shortly to take a look. Meanwhile, I’ll give you a little something to help with the pain.”

After administering the pain medication, she left, and you turned to Pete who still sported his worried look. He began to apologize once more, but the sound of the door opening didn’t let him finish.

You had begun to feel the pain medications working and my god, were they so good that it was making you see actual angels? Because whoever was walking in your room certainly fit the bill.

“Damn,” you whispered to Pete who couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” the literal-angel asked.

“Yes,” you replied knowing very well he could’ve said any other last name and you would’ve responded the same way just to get him to stay. “I’m Dr. Barnes, and Nurse Escobedo shared some of what happened, I’ll take a look at your leg to see what the best way to approach it is.”

“No need,” you interjected waving your hand in front of you. “My leg is fine. Doesn’t even hurt.”

Dr. Barnes laughed, “I’m sure the pain meds Nurse Escobedo gave you have nothing to do with that.”

His smile. Pain meds, schpain scdmeds. That smile could make whatever was wrong with your leg go away, you know, if there even was anything wrong with your leg.

“I’ll order some x-rays to decide what type of fracture your leg is suffering from. After that we can better decide what will help your leg heal the best.”

“Thank you for the offer, doc,” you said as you felt your body completely relax at the soothing feeling the meds were bringing. “But, I’m fine, no need for x-rays.”

“Y/N,” Pete whispered, chastising you.

“Yeah?” Dr. Barnes said with a smile. “Well humor me, and then if you’re right I’ll let you two go on with your skateboarding practice. Deal?”

“Fine,” you replied nonchalantly. “But apart from letting me continue pursuing my skateboarding career, you also have to give me an honorary title of Doctor if I’m right, since I can diagnose myself better than you can.”

You heard Dr. Barnes laugh and another chastising whisper of your name from Pete.

Dr. Barnes began wheeling you out of the room and you almost missed his “Those meds are really something” whisper to Pete.

After getting your x-ray, you found yourself back in the examination room with Dr. Barnes and Pete.

“So, it looks like we got an incomplete fracture, here. Your leg is broken but, fortunately the fracture hasn’t fully broken the bone in two. I’m very sorry but your skateboarding career will have to wait a bit,” he said with a charming smile. “And if you want that Doctor title, you’ll have to earn it the traditional way.”

So, you wouldn’t get to make reservations under Doctor Y/L/N. But you would be just as happy making them under Doctor and Missus Barnes, you thought. That man was gorgeous!

“Since we got a fracture, we have to make sure your leg is immobilized to give it time to heal. This means a cast for a few weeks. Also crutches to keep your weight off it.”

“You sure, its broken? I mean it doesn’t look broken,” you said, giving it one last shot because god knows you would probably be miserable with a cast.

“Well, the fracture didn’t cause any rupture to the skin. So, the typical gruesome leg break we usually think about, isn’t visible here. But the x-rays don’t lie, doc.” He said with a laugh that made you melt.

Christ, this doctor was charming. Sure, you may be hyped up on pain meds but one look at Pete convinced you the charm radiating off Dr. Barnes wasn’t all in your head. Pete had the same grin you were sure was plastered on your face.

“So definitely no X Games for me?” you said hoping he could just keep talking to you forever.

He couldn’t hold back his snort.

“Maybe next year,” he said.

---

A couple of weeks after your original examination with Dr. Barnes you were on your way back to the hospital for a check-up. You had been struggling with the cast and crutches, but you knew you shouldn’t complain. It could’ve been much worse or more humiliating like Pete had mentioned.

Pete had told you all about the way you had spoken to Dr. Barnes and you had begged him to stop not being able to deal with the intense blush that rose to your cheeks. You couldn’t believe you had babbled on like that to a doctor! My god, you had told him you could do his job better than him!

But still, part of you wanted him to be the doctor providing the check-up, because if he was as gorgeous as those meds had made him seem, then you were in for a treat. Another part of you, though, wished it could be a different doctor just so you wouldn’t be reminded of all the things you had said that day.

You sat again in a similar examination room chatting with Pete, who was just as excited to see who the doctor would be. If he hadn’t sworn off betting with you after you had broken your leg, he would’ve definitely wagered at least $20 on Dr. Barnes being your doctor again. Your conversation with him, though, stopped suddenly as you heard the door open.

“Well, hello again colleague,” Dr. Barnes greeted you as he walked, no strutted, into the room.

My god, those meds hadn’t clouded your mind as much as you had thought. The man was completely gorgeous in his white coat. Everything about him was completely unfair. From his crystal clear blue eyes, to his chocolate colored hair, and how could you look past those toned arms, practically bulging out of his sleeve! How could anybody let him treat patients when he was probably causing many of them heart problems with just one look at him.

“Hi,” you said softly. Being pain meds free, meant you weren’t as confident as you had been, so you would definitely not be sharing your thoughts as freely as before. You heard Pete chuckle behind you. That jerk probably knew why you were being so quiet.

“How has the simple life treated you? I know you were devastated I couldn’t let you go through pursuing your passion.”

Could the floor open up and eat you up like right now? You would miss looking at Dr. Barnes but, come on, you would probably see him every night in your dreams, so you would be ok.

“Sorry about that,” you said looking down. “Nurse Escobedo gave me the good stuff.”

He laughed his gorgeous laugh.

“No worries,” he said. “We’ll just check out how your leg is doing. Let me know if you’ve had any problems with the cast, apart from the discomfort it probably brought.”

You were relatively quiet for the rest of your appointment trying your best not to make more of a fool out of yourself in front of this perfect man. If you opened your mouth you weren’t sure whether or not you would be able to control whatever came out of it. You were almost positive he seemed a little disappointed at the silence, but you couldn’t allow yourself to think too much about it because you knew it could get you into trouble. The good kind of trouble, probably, but still trouble!

---

“Can I get a small black coffee, please?” You ordered your drink in one of your favorite coffee places. Your leg had completely healed, thanks to the great care Dr. Barnes had provided, so you had been cast-free for a few weeks after almost two months stuck with that thing.

“Sure thing,” the barista taking your order said writing your name on the cup she had grabbed for you.

You walked over to the pick-up section and pulled out your phone from your bag. Scrolling through Twitter seemed like your go-to action when you were waiting for something. All your attention was put on this Buzzfeed article you had found.

Want to know what type of breakfast food you are? Uhh.. what kind of question is that!? Of course, you did!

“Black coffee for Y/N!”

Your head snapped up from the very informative quiz you were working on at the sound of your name and you went to pick up your coffee. You had been more than ready for coffee, but as you turned you almost dropped your precious cargo.

“Hi,” Dr. Barnes said as he stood right in front of you with his trademark charming smile. “I heard your name being called and I thought it would be too much of a coincidence to run into you here, but look, here you are.”

This man would be the death of you. How could a human being be this enchanting?

“Umm, yeah here I am,” you said unable to think of anything better to say.

“Coffee for Bucky!” the barista called from behind you making you jump.

“Excuse me,” Dr. Barnes said as he worked his arm past you to pick up the coffee that had just been placed on the counter behind you. He was so close, and it was totally unfair! “That’s me,” he said.

“You didn’t tell them your actual name is Dr. Barnes?” you asked, feeling hyped up again, this time not on meds, though, but on his sheer presence.

He rewarded you with a chuckle that reminded you why you had willed yourself to stay quiet on your second, and subsequent, examinations. You couldn’t stay calm around him when he was so casually chuckling and charming you with his smile.

“Nah,” he said with a teasing glint evident in his eyes. “That’s only for strictly professional occasions. You know, where you can’t really say what you’re thinking.”

Holy crap! Was this guy serious?!?!

“Right,” you whispered not trusting yourself to speak any louder.

“We should probably move out of the way, though,” he said. “We’re kind of blocking everybody picking up their orders.”

“Right,” you said a bit louder.

“Are you in a rush?” he asked as the two of you walked away from the pick-up counter to the nearby table with sugars and creamers.

Was he? Was he really going to do what you thought?

“I see an open table right there,” he said pointing to a small round table towards the back of the coffee place. “If you’re not too busy I could maybe share some of the thoughts I’ve been holding back, you know, now that I’m just Bucky,” he said, looking around the room and his voice growing smaller as his sentence went on.

What was that? He had a shy, soft side too?!? You ran through the mental checklist you had been keeping on him.

-A Doctor. Check!

-Handsome. Triple Check!

-Funny. Check!

-Kind. Check!

And for goodness sake,

-Completely adorable. Check!!!!!

How could you say no to HIM!

“I’m not busy,” you said as a smile appeared on your lips.

“You sure I’m not keeping you from practice?”

Oh god, of course he would bring that up.

“No,” you chuckled. “A very stubborn doctor put an end to that dream.”

“I’m sure he had his reasons.”

He began leading the way to the empty table he had spotted. You sat across for him and could barely control your heart. He probably didn’t need his stethoscope to hear the erratic beating of your heart.

“So, Bucky?” you wondered aloud. “I don’t think I’ve heard that name before.”

“Well, it’s more of a nickname. My first name is actually James. Middle name Buchanan, so my friends shortened my middle name and it stuck.”

“It’s cute,” you said before you could stop yourself.

“Thanks,” he said with the cutest blush spreading up his face. Definitely matched the cuteness of his name. “I--- umm--- I’m really glad I ran into you. I kind of couldn’t stop wondering how you were doing. Its been a while since you last stopped by, so I couldn’t help but be curious at what antics you were getting yourself and your poor friend into.”

You almost giggled at the way he said “friend”. Not really hiding the fact that he was hoping Pete was really just a friend.

“Pete? Oh please, he was the one who got me into this mess in the first place. Not really a good friend seeing that he got me to break my leg,” you said hoping you had it clear who Pete was to you. “And no antics, he’s promised me not to place any bets that could lead to more emergency room visits. Although, maybe I wouldn’t mind another visit, seeing as I met you there.”

That sudden surge of courage caught you off guard, but you mentally high-fived yourself for taking the chance.

Bucky’s eyes seemed to light up immediately as he processed what you had just said. You saw his usual charming smile change into the hottest smirk you’d ever seen.

“No need to hurt yourself. Why don’t we just schedule more frequent appointments outside of the hospital. We don’t have to call them appointments, though, maybe we can just stick to calling them dates?”

You couldn’t help but get closer to him, leaning forward on the table. You could play this game, too. In fact, you had started it.

“Sounds like a plan, doc,” you said. “Should I page Dr. Barnes tomorrow night?”

“How about tonight instead? Need to make sure my favorite patient doesn’t have a lot of time alone to break another bone.”

“Alright,” you said with a charming smile of your own. You pulled out a pen from your bag and grabbed his coffee cup scribbling your number. “I’ll see you tonight then, Bucky.”

“It’s a date,” he said with a wink as you got up from the table.

You walked out of the coffee place and you felt his eyes on you until you walked out the door. Your phone buzzed, and you hoped your guess on who was texting was right.

Can’t wait -Bucky

You probably shouldn’t run seeing how you were swooning over Bucky and all his charm and you REALLY did not want to break another bone, but you had to find the greatest friend in the whole world, Pete, to tell him about everything that had just happened.

Tonight couldn’t come fast enough. You would surely have to mentally prepare for what would most likely be a great time with the most handsome doctor you’d ever seen, but if he took care of you the way he had taken care of your leg, you knew you were in good hands. Falling from the skateboard had been no fun, but the possibility of falling for Bucky seemed more than fun, it seemed perfect.

---

Bucky Tags!

@camillechan @just-add-butter @buckyisthepuresthuman @faunacea @carry-on-my-fandom @creideamhgradochas @sixweekcure4dreams @verycoolveryunique @dugan365 @sold-my-soul-in-2016

Its summer time!!! Still got work but I def have more time to practice my writing!

#sgtjbuccky3kcelebration #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #Doctor!Bucky #Doctor!AU #bucky one shot #stories by notimetoblog

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straydays7-blog · 7 years

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My Day6inNYC Experience!

EDIT: I typed this up in word and pasted it into Tumblr. Tumblr kinda make some things look a little weird so excuse that please.

This is super late coming but as soon as I left NYC I had to cram for a ton of exams and now that most of those are over I can take the time to talk about my experience seeing Day6 perform live and even hi-touching them;;;; This post might be a little bit all over the place, but I cant help but to feel SO MANY FEELINGS when I think about this okay. Its still so surreal I cant believe it actually happened it felt like a really good dream okay. Also, I wish my English were better to express myself here I have so many emotions I wish to express but honestly, I dont know how Id even describe these feelings in any other languages I know SO ILL TRY MY BEST WITH ENGLISH. Also, fair warning, thisll probably be really long so prepare yourself.

Okay, first things first. I arrived like 30 mins early to pick up my P2 wristband and apparently had I been a little earlier I could have seen day6 enter the Town Hall! Somehow, even though I was not the first that arrived at the venue to pick up my wristband, I did end up being first in the P2 line. And lord behold. Someone opened the backstage door. Then and there, I caught a glimpse of Sungjin, playing his guitar singing his part in the You Were Beautiful chorus. EVERYONE AROUND ME STARTED SCREAMING LOL. I was in such shock. Sungjin is so beautiful (in present tense) and has one of the best voices Ive ever heard okay. I dont think I really realized until then I was going to see Day6, like the band that inspires me to work hard every day and makes me so happy. Even though I had bought the ticket and everything that brought me to NYC, it felt surreal and then I knew it was R E A L. Theyre real and I was about to watch them perform live and even meet them afterwards like what the heck? After getting my wristband, I picked up a fanproject banner that would later be used to move day6 to tears:) These boys are so wholesome.

I went back to my hotel for a while after that because it was rainy and windy so walking around didnt sound so nice. Around 5:30 I left to get a bite to eat and then head back to the venue. Ended up getting a burger at Five Guys (and okay totally off topic from seeing Day6, but the Five Guys burger I had in NYC was so much better than any Ive had here in VA? Or maybe excitement makes stuff taste better.) I arrived at the venue at like 6:00 and the line was already pretty long! There were some My Days handing out photocards and I bought a Sungjin badge from one girl. (This experience is gonna make me sound so Sungjin biased but omg my bias is definitely Young K)

Once I was in the Town Hall I decided to buy a lightstick to cheer for the band! Id already ordered some of the other merch from the Subkulture Shop, because I was literally only traveling with one backpack and didnt want to buy more than I could fit in to take back home.

I had no idea on which side my seat would be, I only knew I would be 12 rows away from the stage. So, when I found my seat I was beyond happy to see I was on Young K and Wonpils side of the stage omg. With a really clear view of the both of them also! All the MyDays there were so sweet man, I had a great time talking with some while waiting for the concert to begin. Though I do honestly really wish that @mikulinneamew or @reading-river would have been there with me. Day6s instruments were already set on the stage and oh my goodness I fell in love with Sungjins Gibson Les Paul. Its white body with the black pickguard and golden hardware is SO BEAUTIFUL. Makes me want to go out and buy a Les Paul just like it, but going to this concert I used money I was originally saving for a new Fender P-Bass (That aint happening for a while now lol) but I am so not complaining. Sungjins Martin acoustic is also really beautiful, but I still prefer Taylors. Young Ks bass is also super pretty. Really, I was drooling over these instruments while waiting for the concert to begin.

Its two minutes before the concert was set to begin and everyone is already chanting â€œDAY6! DAY6! DAY6! DAY6!â€. Shortly after the lights went dark and the screen behind the stage started to play a video introducing the members (And can I say I love how so many of their songs were mashed up perfectly in that video like wow Id love the audio of just that)! One by one then the members came on stage. First Dowoon, then Wonpil, followed by Young K, Jae and last but not least, leader Sungjin! While the video was finishing playing I could see Young K getting his bass tuned and ready to perform. I started tearing up here already because they were right in front of me? Unreal, but yet so real.

And then, the first song was: I WAIT! One of my favorite songs already ;; (what am I saying, all of their songs are my favorites) Such a high energy song for the first one. It was perfect to get the crowd hyped and pumped for what was to come! Then there was me crying of happiness and singing along though omg. DAY6 IS SO COOL PERFORMING. Sungjin and Jae rocking out on their guitars, Young K thumping on the Bass, Wonpil playing the Synth and Dowoon rocking the drums! I loved how connected the audience was with the band too like out of all the live performances from bands Ive seen, this one was definitely the one with the most chemistry with the audience and music! All of the â€œI WAIT!â€ chants were so nice to hear with the music aaaa. THE SONG ENDED SO FAST. All songs went by so quick really, but hey that just means youre having a great time.

The second song was: HUNT! I was NOT prepared for this song so early on in the show already. If I had to summarize this performance in two words: Younghyuns rap (I love it so much). I really love the guitar riffs in this song so I payed a lot of attention to Jae and Sungjin at first but man, as soon as it was rapping time my eyes were focused on Young K. His rapping timbre is soooOOO darn good. And hes such a good performer too when he does it. HE FEELS EVERY WORD HE SAYS. Hunt is such a good song. I loved it. So much.

After the first two songs, lights went back on for a moment and Jae hyped up the audience! Young K shook his head the first time everyone made noise at Jaes request, but the second time Jae asked us to make some noise BOY THAT WAS GOOD VOLUME MYDAYS HAVE GREAT LUNGS.

That was followed by: IM SERIOUS! This song is so fluffy and catchy Im pretty sure everyone was singing along in the â€œI cant stop loving youâ€ part. I mean, how could anyone stop loving day6 theyre so wholesome and talented and KIND AND SWEET. Wow. Its SO FUN to watch Sungjin play his acoustic guitar he was smiling the whole time. Everyone was smiling during that performance EVEN DOWOON HE WAS SO CUTE. Its such a sweet song how can you not smile playing it or listening to it. During the acapella part Young K was shooting finger hearts and did an AMAZING adlib. I was m e l t i n g. Turning me into a puddle.

The next song was: MAN IN A MOVIE! I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG A LOT. Another really soft and fluffy song, but soOOO musically interesting. Day6 is one of the few groups that not only produces earcandy, but earcandy that is also thinking candy for people who enjoy music theory (a n d I d o) This is the only day6 song Ive actually written out a fingerstyle ukulele arrangement for (totally weird instrument choice, but Im working on rewriting it for guitar LOL). Im EXTREMELY fond of everyones vocals on this song. Especially Sungjins and Young Ks :)

After this song it was game and Q&A time! I cant remember if the preference game or Q&A was first so Im just going to talk about the preference game first.

Firstly though, all the members introduced themselves. They all looked so happy that it made me even happier LOL. For the preference game, all of the audience had to stand up and participate in a game with day6! It was so fun! First up the audience had to guess which one Jae like more, by either raising their left or right arm: The statue of liberty or Brooklyn bridge. The right answer was Brooklyn bridge and the majority of the audience (including me) had guessed it right! The MyDays who guessed wrong, had to take their seat again. Second was Bob (Sungjin). I guessed his wrong already! >3< The question was if he preferred playing Overwatch or Fifa. The correct answer was Fifa. Sadly, most people had guessed this one wrong. Next was Dowoon. We had to guess if he prefers skirts or jeans on girls LOL. His answer was jeans but it got too loud that I couldnt quite hear his reasoning. Then was Young K. Does he prefer sneakers or high heels? His answer was sneakers, because high heels are very uncomfortable (he said hes even tried them on before what a cutie). Wonpil had the most far fetched question in my opinion it was kinda funny! The audience had to guess if he likes Ariel or Snow White more. His answer was Snow White because he feels more sorry for her. Lastly was a question that would decide the faith of a lot of Jae stans hair LOL. Does he like long hair or short hair better on girls? His answer was short hair, because it makes them seem more confident. After all of those guesses only four lucky MyDays out of about 1500 were left standing! They got invited onto the stage and got a bag full of (signed!) tour merch gifted to them by Day6! It was so sweet and kind that the winners even received such a gift from Day6 themselves!

MOVING ON TO THE Q&A! Before they picked their questions to answer, Sungjin said â€œThis! Is! Paradise!â€ and Dowoon sang the â€œOh you are My Daaayâ€ part of their song MY DAY to the NYC MyDays. Wonpil went first to pick his question. While each member would choose their question, the audience would sing the jeopardy theme song. It was hilarious. He chose the question: â€œWhere did your interest in music come from?â€ Right when he was about to answer the question someone in the audience screamed â€œI LOVE YOU YOUNG Kâ€ but Young K shut her down so fast saying â€œIts Wonpil time!â€ Wonpil was flustered for a sec but then resumed to answer his question and said that he listened to a lot of hip hop when he was young and that got him interested. Next up was Young K! He chose the question: â€œWhat was the funniest moment in your life?â€. He began to say that since Chuseok hes been eating more. And his most funny moment was before he came onto the stage. Apparently his pants didnt fit him anymore and he had to expand them a bit! The way he told this story was utterly hilarious and cute I can highly recommend finding a fancam of this moment omg. After him was Dowoon. His question was: â€œIf you could have a superpower what would it be?â€ He said he wishes he could talk to animals. When he was in college he had a pet cat which he neglected and now he feels bad for that. He said if he could only communicate with one kind of animal though it would be bear LOL. Sungjin started imitating a bear after that and it was so hilarious omg he puffed himself up and was clawing at him. Next was Sungjin! He was lowkey dancing along to the jeopardy theme omg. His question was: â€œWhat is the hardest thing you have ever done?â€. He said working towards Day6s debut was the hardest time in his life ;; He shouted out collapsedone who helped them a lot towards their debut and he was actually at the concert right there ;; Jae was the last one to get a question. He chose: â€œWhat inspired you to pursue music?â€. He said he was getting into a bunch of Youtube musicians and thought he should try it out too. He met Wong Fu Productions Phil who also further inspired him to pursue music. And so Yellowpostitman was born. That concluded the Q&A! Day6 left the stage for a quick moment while the NYC Vlog-like video they made for the tour started playing. This time it was Wonpils cut! It showed the boys having fun at times square (someone in the audience screamed I SEE MYSELF and everyone laughed it was so funny) and Wonpil loosing his phone while dancing on the street LOL. I really love this vlog concept they had to play during intermission its so sweet of them.

Once the vlog was over they came back on stage and started to perform You Were Beautiful. THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL. Its one of the first songs of theirs I heard that got me into them ;; I was tearing up during this whole performance its such a heartfelt song and you could truly feel the emotions of the song being conveyed in their performance. They all sing it so softly yet powerfully. I really love Young Ks vocal parts in this song and his voice was so stable too (everyones was really) aaa ;;

The next song they performed was their debut song CONGRATULATIONS! Everyone in the audience had received a red sticker to cover their phone flashlight with during this song to create a red ocean. I wasnt in a good seat so see if it was a success or not but the lighting definitely seemed more red :) Everyone was singing along to EVERY BIT of this song it was fantastic. I love this song so much aaa. Young Ks rap makes me feel so many FEELINGS. This song was over way too quick I wish itd last forever.

After Congratulations Jae was saying that the last two songs are coming now and everyone was getting a LIL SAD that the night was coming to an end soon. (Jae didnt count the encore though ;D) Jae also took a moment to tell everyone that they should follow their dreams and not let anyone tell them that they cant make it. Even when it seems impossible to make it to your dreams he believes that we can make the jump and achieve them ;; Hearing those words from him made me a sobbing mess. For a few reasons I think. Even just seeing them perform live was a dream come true. Being in NYC (if even just for two days) was a dream come true. Its a city Id been dreaming of seeing someday since I was a little kid. Probably because music as a career has almost always been my dream. And NYC is one of the worlds music capitals. I used to want to become a concert pianist. Then I wanted to become a music teacher. Right now Im leaning more towards songwriting, production and playing guitar LOL. But as someone whos in the position where I need to decide what I want to do with my future relatively soon, Jaes words helped me so much.

Their next song was LETTING GO! And oh my goodness. I was not prepared for those buttery sweet harmonies in the beginning. I was thinking so much about what Jae had said before during this performance so Im a little blank on what special happened during this performance but I totally remember it being mesmerizing;;

Their last song before encore was I SMILE! The fanchants on this one were so strong! Everyone held their banner up which read â€œMy Day6 which I thought I only met in my dreams is right in front of meâ€. I could see Young K tear up when he read it. It was so sweet :) I do wish that Wonpils synth had been a tiny bit louder because he has that cool solo part in it, but I could hardly hear it. But the whole performance was so overwhelmingly beautiful that I was crying.

After performing I SMILE they left the stage and everyone started chanting â€œDAY6! DAY6!â€ again. Shortly after they came back on stage and THEY PERFORMED DANCE DANCE. This song is so upbeat and happy and makes you forget all the stress so much I love it to bits. I absolutely love Jaes guitar part in this song too so I tried to focus on him until Brians rap distracted me AGAIN (rapper K is my weakness okay). The entire performance was so high energy it was perfect buildup to the next song they performed which was also their last performance for the night. FREEí•˜ê²Œ! This is my go-to song for escaping from the stress of life and simply basking in how powerful music truly is. So, hearing it live, as the encore really touched me (and I cried more). I felt so many emotions go through me during this performance. It felt like a reminder of why I love music so much, which sometimes is well needed. Its so energetic and uplifting. My highlight of this performance: â€¦Young Ks rap (wow surprise surprise). Also Sungjins high note! And Jae jumping into the crowd and hyping us up even more! (If Jae tells you to jump, you have to jump.) This performance was a perfect end for the concert. I really didnt want it to end though.

After this performance Day6 bowed and thanked the audience. I dont know where to begin describing how I felt after that. I still had the high touch left but the main event was over. I felt (still feel and always will) so extremely blessed to have been able to experience that. Theyre such a wholesome, hardworking and admirable band. I felt such extreme happiness.

The night was nearly over, but the hi-touch was still left for those who had purchased a P2 ticket! Id never done a hi-touch before, so I didnt know what to expect. I only knew itd go by super quick. What I did NOT expect however, is to walk around a corner and BAM there standing is Young K, Mr. Brian Kang, THE KANG YOUNGHYUN, BASSIST RAPPER GODLY VOCALS FULL TIME COLLEGE STUDENT BUT ALSO FULL TIME BANDMEMBER HE WORKS SO HARD OK. It is a lot to take in when you see your ultimate bias being the first in line for the hi-touch. My first thought was how pretty his NOSE is. Like dang, boys got the finest nose Ive ever seen. My second thought was how intimidating he seemed though omg. But as soon as it was my turn for a brief second with him it seemed like he was glowing and flowers were blooming around him? Hes got the sweetest smile and eyes. Instead of high fiving him I held onto his hand for a second and all I could say was â€œI love you so muchâ€ I WAS IN SUCH AWE. He gave my hand a bit of a squeeze and said he loves me back. SUCH A NICE MAN IM CRYING.Â Then it was already time to move on though and next was Dowoon! My mind was completely blank from Young K being first (I was hoping hed be last for this reason LOL) I also grabbed onto Dowoons hand for a moment and I mustve not said anything at first, because he was like â€œThank you!â€ first (his Korean accent is adorable) so I said thank you back to him and he then gave a teeny bow like how polite omg. Thats all I had with Dowoon though (Wish I could have said more I wanted to tell him how cool he is!) But next was Jae. First impression: Hes so TALL. Second impression: Hes so NICE. I think Jae made it a thing to keep eye contact with his fans for as much as he could. I told him â€œThank you so much Jaeâ€ because man especially his speech about following dreams hit me hard as I had mentioned before. Hes honestly the member I was most thankful for that night (Im thankful for them all though please dont misunderstand!) I would have hugged him if I could. His face is so pretty up close too, how can someone manage to look handsome but like a personification of Chicken Little at the same time? Jae can. Next was Wonpil! And I must say I was taken a back a little like â€œWho is this man?â€ HE LOOKS SO DIFFERENT IN REAL LIFE. In a good way of course! I held onto his hand for a moment and said â€œThanks Wonpilâ€ he nodded and had such a smug look on his face like omg. SUNGJIN WAS NEXT AND BOY THIS WAS MY FAVORITE ENCOUNTER. He was already like pulling his arm back to give a really hard high five so I was BRACING myself, because it looked like it might be painful omg. Hes the only member I actually high fived whoops. BUT his high five was so happy and so energetic! Yet it was aggressively soft? It was definitely a hard high five but it didnt hurt at all LOL. He was like â€œAh yeah!â€ after that and I thanked him for the great show. Then the hi-touch was over for me. Even though I wish I could have had a little more time with them, I was so thankful to have had the experience in the first place.

IN CONCLUSION: This was the best night of my life so far. This definitely is not going to be the last time I see them live. If they come back to NA while Im still here you can count on me doing my best to get that P1 or P2 ticket. They better come to Europe someday too! For their next tour if it works out I might even try to go to more than one of their concerts. I was trying to go to the Toronto concert for this tour too, but my exam schedule wouldnt allow that. But I am so blessed that NYC happened. I will also definitely plan any trip to Asia around their concert schedule!

Tl;dr: I love day6 so much. See them live someday plz. Tell Brian I love him plz.

#day6innyc #day6 #day6inna2017 #zan rambles

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dontkyeom · 7 years

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Monsta X: Beautiful in San Francisco - Fan Experience

ayooo i was asked to post about the monsta x concert i just went to (and also i want a record of what happened before i forget) so here it is!! under the cut are my pre, during, and post-show experiences/thoughts!!

pre-show

okay so my friend and i planned to get boba from boba guys and fries from super duper for dinner

me being me, i planned for us to meet at 5 so we had enough time to eat and digest for the show

i leave my house around 3:45 bc i was gonna bus over while my friend was gonna get dropped off at boba guys

in the end we ended up getting sharetea and meeting at super duper an hour later than when we were supposed to meet for the following reasons:

i got to the area before my friend

I WALKED THE WHOLE ASS TUNNEL BETWEEN DOWNTOWN AND CHINATOWN FOR NO REASON i was so heated omg

the line for boba guys was out the door and down the block so i was like girl… we gotta yeet

i left to get sharetea but my friend for some reason thought we were still gonna meet at boba guys so she had to walk down to the mall

she ended up getting lost and going to chinatown

meanwhile i was trying to find sharetea bc i didnt even know they had one in the mall

ended up ordering for both of us and agreeing to meet at super duper

also i saw some monbebes in the mall while i was waiting for my drinks hehe i peeped ur shirts

we got to the warfield at 7 when the doors were supposed to open and y’all the line was so long that it like wrapped around the block and the end was right by the entrance

i got gnarly cramps in both of my legs within five minutes of each other and they hurt like a damn bitch let me tell you

i felt really bad bc i like fell to the floor in the middle of the line and some of the people behind us were like omg are you okay and i was like yes pls just go around me i’ll be okay

and then the cramp went away and the people held our spots for us!! such kind people ily if you’re reading this

we got in right at 8 when the show was supposed to start (but they ended up starting later which im just assuming was so that everyone could get in)

during-show

y’all everyone kept screaming even tho the boys weren’t on stage yet and it hella freaked out my friend and i when we left to get water

we literally rushed back and my friend tripped up the stairs but it’s fine we made it back in time

anyway their energy is just off the charts like i was hyped as hell from beginning to end. they really know how to bring a crowd up and their stage presence is amazing. no awkward moments whatsoever and very smooth transitions from one stage to the next i was actually really impressed

and they said the bay had the realest energy and i was ready to NUT

my heart cried when they left a mic stand for hyungwon for ex girl, i really love how thoughtful the boys are when a member is missing. they take ohana to a new level it’s just endearing to see how much they truly care for one another

i would also like to have a moment of appreciation bc they didn’t say san fran at all?? i was lowkey expecting them to but they didn’t :’) (pls never say san fran it’s a big no from me)

wonho lowkey tried to throw chocolate to the upper balcony i saw him aiming a bit higher and i appreciate his effort so much

also as a former tech crew member in high school, a moment of appreciation for all the tech effects, they really added to the whole experience of the show and i thoroughly enjoyed the different effects and the timing of everything

appreciation for the stage hands who brought the bench on stage, i hope y’all heard me cheer for you bc i know what that’s like

also… i really loved seeing all the spike tape on the stage for whatever reason

anyway back to the boys

minhyuk jooheon kihyun and i.m came out and they asked us who was the most romantic (i said kihyun bc that boy was smooth as shit in that one video) and a lot of people said minhyuk so they made him do aegyo and OMFG MINHYUK’S AEGYO HAHAHAHA THAT SHIT WAS SO FUNNY all he said was “san francisco… oh my god” and then he kept repeating oh my god and OMG and he and jooheon were switching off and their voices were getting lower and i.m was like “yo this is not cute this is just weird” i got it on video if anyone wants to see it lmao

and then wonho and shownu came out like “…what kind of weird things were you guys talking about”

speaking of videos, all the videos i have of their songs are shaky af bc i was bopping at the same time but if anyone still wants to see them i can send a google drive link your way hehe

from zero was the cutest shit ever. im still really sad hyungwon couldnt make it but the sub did a great job in his place!!

i needa take a moment to just talk about wonho bc that man can go from cocky daddy to a total sweetie. like… he totally knows he’s a walking sex god (a small moment of silence for when kihyun just like pulled wonho’s jacket down to try to expose his arms during his intro) but then he’ll talk about how he tried to perform extra well to make up for hyungwon not being there and he’s trying to put on a better show and you can really tell how much he cares about us and ugh

ALSO

WONHO IS SCULPTED BY THE GODS I WAS WAAAAAY UP IN THE UPPER BALCONY AND EVEN I COULD SEE HOW DEFINED HE IS SO PROPS TO HIM

i popped the FUCK off at the 24k magic cover oh my god y’all i love bruno and i got so excited when shownu minhyuk and i.m covered it, and it was so damn lit. like i was a lil bummed when i found out they werent gonna do the second verse bc it’s my fav part of the song but i.m’s rap was AMAZING and fit really well and oh my god don’t even get me started on the dance breaks omfffff

their outfits were cute as shit too

also appreciation for i.m’s voice. i just really like his voice im such a slut for deep voices ok this is why he’s my wrecker

jooheon and kihyun are just something else when they come together, i love what they’re able to offer to each other and able to create as a unit it’s just really cool to see :’)

also i must say… seeing jooheon’s deep ass dimples and kihyun’s nice ass cheekbones are such a blessing

OH AND THEIR AEGYO

THE AIR... POP SHIT BRUH I WAS DED

THE RED OUTFITS ARE SUCH A LOOK UGHHH

i almost cried when broken heart came on, such a beautiful song AND THEY LEFT A SPACE IN THE MIDDLE FOR HYUNGWON UGH MY HEART

blind, trespass, and rush were arguably the most hype songs of the night, like ive never went so hard in my life

also a moment to talk about shownu bc like… idk i’ve noticed he’s a lot more quiet than other leaders of idol groups so i wasn’t really sure what to expect but i gained so much respect for him?? he has great stage presence and is really well-spoken and charismatic damn gemini AND HE’S JUST SO TALENTED

omg there was this one part where wonho said “hyungwon actually made a recovery earlier than expected” and like the way he said it made it seem like hyungwon was gonna make a surprise appearance but nah

but it’s okay bc they all said they wanna come back to the bay asap and y’all can BET i’ll be there

i appreciated their english speaking, like during their intros and goodbyes it was heartwarming to see their efforts to communicate w us

surprisingly they didnt really talk much about how it was their 800 days?? idk i was kinda expecting them to address it but they didnt

omg their bows were adorable, they like held hands and moved across the stage in a line to bow to different parts of the venue it was so cute to watch

post-show

my friend and i waited in the merch line that moved pretty quickly actually?? but there were only stickers left and i thought it was more important for my friend to get something bc it was her first concert and she really wanted something to remember it by so i passed (also stickers were $25 what even)

but it’s cool bc she let me have a hyungwon sticker (and a cute lil logo bc there were two of them)!! theyre probably gonna live in my phone case bc i have a clear one so y’all BET im taking my mans everywhere w me

she really enjoyed herself which i was really happy to see!! being there for someone’s first concert is magical 10/10 would recommend

i also enjoyed myself in case i didnt make that clear lmao. despite the rough pre-concert experience, seeing those boys do their thing made everything worth it and i’m so glad i got to experience their first world tour :’) also ive never let loose to the extent that i did sober tonight so props to monsta x for bringing out my bay area hyphy lmaooo

i just wanna say thank you to monsta x for coming to sf, putting on a good show, and making us feel loved and appreciated. i was hella surprised when an sf show was announced considering most groups usually just go to LA, so thanks for giving the bay a chance and showing us such a fun time!!

and shoutout to the monbebes for being such a cute crowd. i loved seeing everyone waving their light sticks and arms and just having a good time, and cheering so hard for these talented and hardworking men

also seeing everyone come out of hi-touch all happy and smiley and starstruck was the cutest thing, so if you got to experience that i’m so happy for you and i hope you enjoyed seeing those boys up close!! would’ve done it myself but im an unemployed college kid so anything over $100 wasn’t an option for me

((another also, im v sorry to everyone behind me if my aggressive arm waving got in the way of your view i was enjoying myself way too much))

all in all, my first kpop concert was a huge success!! came in not knowing what to expect (it’s a bit different from the other shows/concerts ive been to in the past, but a good different!!), but still had a lit ass night :)

#long post sorry hehe #monsta x #monsta x beautiful in the us #monsta x beautiful in san francisco #i typed this up at like 1am sorry for how mushy i got #my post #beautiful in the us #beautiful in san francisco #monsta x in sf #monsta x in san francisco

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raemots · 5 years

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14 February 2020

Well well well look who’s back at her tumblr diary. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing because the last time I started this diary was when I was 21, about to go through a pretty serious break up, starting to get out of a pretty serious depression, going through a solid 7 months of being a glorified alcoholic, and then graduating college. You could say there was a lot going on.

First off, I just read my previous most from nearly FIVE YEARS AGO!!! And the frightening thing was.... not a lot has changed. I still kinda feel the same way it sounds like I did in that post. A lot of my friends here in Syracuse are also really busy and have a lot going on and are too busy for me. I don’t really feel as bad about it now as I used to be because we’re all adults now going through adult stuff and it’s hard to make time for people.

I should do a little summary as it’s been a minute. So since I last posted on here, I graduated college (!!!) and then started studying for the CPA exam for the better part of 2 years but I finally got it done. Brodie and I got an apartment together and spent a year there having a FUCKING BLAST until he unfortunately lost his job in Cuse and moved down to DC. After B left, our friend Tristan took over his lease which ended up being fate or destiny or whatever because he ended up meeting my friend Liz from HS and those two crazy kids hit it off and almost 3 years later they’re engaged!! Life man. About 1 year and a half after Tristan moved in, we both moved out of the legendary apartment 4K to get our own places. Since then I’ve had a cute little studio apartment downtown. I also ended up getting a cat who I found in the parking garage across the street from my place. I started my job at a local accounting firm the December after graduating college and have now been with them for over 4 years and I still love it. The work is tiring and never ending but the people keep me going. My bosses continue to be awesome badass women and I really like it.

As for love life, boys have come and gone. There was a run in with Brian #1 that ended up with me finding out he had a girlfriend after we slept together and me pouring a drink on his head in a public place. Its probably the most bad ass thing I’ve done. There was also Brian #2 who I think was the closest I’ve come to actually dating someone and I’ve blocked a lot of that out of my memory because he basically ghosted me to get back with his ex and then 6 months later I found out he gave me chlamydia. I’m just starting to realize that both of those guys have left me with some trust issues that I’m trying to get over. There’s been hook ups here and there but those are the main two to know about. Stay away from brians.

Well my dear ex mike and I did stay friends for a while until he met his new fiance K (I dont want to include her name here as I dont know her and have nothing against her). Mike basically stopped talking to me after he and K started dating. Then I Iowkey crashed Johanna’s wedding with Terry (Terry and Jo got married btw!!!!!) where Mike was forced to say I couldnt crash with him and Mike and keenan bc MIKE AND K ARE ENGAGED!!!! which is the story of how johannah had to deal with mike and my 5 year old relationship baggage the night before her wedding. But the weekend made me realize how fucking condescending Mike can be. So I made it so he doesnt show up in my social media feed and its been a lot better for me but still messed me up a bit.

Other random highlights are going to france with geneseo alumni (fucking AWESOME!!! and WES WAS THERE!!!) oh and I went to ireland the summer after graduation!!! again!! fucking awesome!!

Well that p much gets us to today. Today is valentines day. Well technically there’s 13 minutes left. I go through phases where I feel perfectly content with my life. I like living by myself, just me and bean. living downtown and going out to grab drinks with friends. the occasional late summer night where you close the bars and grab pizza and stay at a friends apartment until 4am. Then there are times where I just feel so dreadfully alone. I feel like the only people who understand me live hours away (brodie, erin, jen, amanda). journal, I’m going to six weddings next year. S I X. and 5 of them are people my age. I never expected to marry thing young, let alone meet ~the one~ but when this many of your friends are either dating or engaged or living together, you start to feel like there;s something wrong with you. celeste often gives me shit for lamenting about how single i am and puts herself in the same boat. But she had guys FALLING OVERTHEMSELVES for her. like i just thought of 4 or 5 in the brief 10 seconds i sat here. Even n**l is so obsessed with her that he ruined their friendship bc she kissed a random guy on NYE (full disclosure, he’s trash and sexist and we dont like him this isnt me being jealous) it is just me pointing out that she tends to always be the one being pursued. and I am the faithful hype man. giving her advice on what to say to them. If her outfit looks good. if she should go over. Celeste does all the same help for me, don;t get me wrong. but it usually ends up working out for her and she’ll get a date or two out of it. i rarely even get a text back. It really put it into perspective when she was livid that a guy wouldnt respond to her in a timely manner. Meanwhile Im here like “wait.... you get texts back?? regularly?!?!?!?! jesus fuckign christ whats THAT like”

Am i that much of a sadsack, journal? brodie says its because im very independent and strong and i give off this “i dont fuckin need you” vibe. which is cool if im lucy liu or angelina jolie however i do not look like the sex symbols that are those iconic women. don’t get me wrong, i have a lovely figure, especially after going to the gym. But I just don’t really think many/any men would see me as so hot that they’d talk to me despite being intimidating. Idk, maybe I’m feeling too sorry fro myself. Jesus it’s 20 fucking 20 and I’m still feeling lesser than and comparing myself to Celeste. It’s not just her, I’ve always felt iike the sidekick. alexis, andrea, mollie, tori, celeste, jen. They were always the pretty, likeable, charismatic one. I’ve always felt like the funny friend who hypes up the main characters storyline. I’m the Judy fucking Greer of life.

I just need to commit and make a therapy appointment. I’ll email one tomorrow. It’s been my main 2020 goal and fuckin A im gonna make it happen. its been a long one but a good one. hey it just turned midnight, its no longer valentines day. thank fuckin god.

#february 14 #february

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sending-the-message · 7 years

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So my friends and I broke into an abandoned school and i've never been more traumatized in my life. by oddliar

My three friends, Aiden, Blair, Alexia and I have all been a group for a little over a year. we've done everything and more together. I was driving through town one day and saw this abandoned building, it looked like a school. That's when i thought of the idea to try and get into the place for fun. I texted them and they seemed to be pretty hyped up and excited. So the next day, we planned to break in.

As we were walking up the path, we saw a few security cameras and it was raining pretty heavy, there was even lightning (cliché, right?) so we didn't waste any time debating wether to do it or not. We jumped the gate and ran over the the front entrance. the doors were locked and we heard a high pitched buzzing noise coming from inside.

"Let's break a window", Aiden said before we realized that all of the bottom rows of windows were boarded up. The only other windows were further up and we didn't have anything to climb. So we walked around the side of the building and noticed that there were large doors, but they were covered by some sort of heavy containers that were stacked up. We couldn't find a way in. That was until we found a tiny shelter/building thing that was connected to the building - I'm not too sure what to call it - and we saw doors at one side. To our surprise, they were unlocked.

Of course, we opened the doors. They were pretty stiff and it took all four of us to pull at the doors for them to open. They were all scraped on the other side. We all smiled at each other in a way that said, "this is pretty cool shit". We checked to see if the lights worked, but they didn't. There were tiny bits of light shining through into the halls though. I took a lot of photos with my new camera, i'm a very sentimental guy. We guided ourselves through the building with our phone's flashlights. We walked through the halls which were lined with doors to classrooms. We opened every single door and walked in, looking in the drawers of the teachers desk, looking in the storage rooms, it was so creepy and amazing at the same time.

At this point, it wasn't that light outside anymore, and there was still rain and thunder/lightning. We had explored most of the bottom floor, the last place we went was the big, empty sport hall before walking up the stairs. Me, being the most excited ran up the stairs before the others and i turned the corner where they couldn't see and immediately saw doors to the library and i turned around to show my friends who were right behind me. Except they weren't. I texted my friends a bunch of times and tried to call them but none of them were answering. I didn't know what to do. Do I go back where we walked in? Do I wait for them? Do I keep exploring?

I decided to walk back down the stairs and go through the halls, checking every room we entered until I reached the doors that we came through. They were closed, even though we left them open. I kicked and kicked as hard as I could but they wouldn't open. I heard Aiden in the distance, like he was upstairs. It sounded like he was talking to someone but I didn't hear any other voices and I couldn't make out what he was saying. I shouted, "Aiden?" and got no reply. I shouted again, "Aiden? Im literally shaking, please stop this isn't funny", and nothing happened. I know my friends very well, and I know they wouldn't keep a joke going on this long, and they definitely wouldn't do something like this. I was really freaking out now, so I ran through the whole school trying to get to the top floor where the windows weren't boarded up.

Eventually, I reached the third and top floor and noticed it was dark outside. I peeked through one of the windows and saw three little lights, and I realized it was my friends. I felt immediate anxiety in my chest. I knocked the window but they didn't react. They were all standing there; Alexia was crying while Aiden and Blair argued. They all looked shaken and/or worried. I picked up a piece of metal that was lying on the ground with the dust, other materials and debris. I banged against the window, trying to smash it and it wouldn't work. I even kicked it multiple times and nothing happened. Then I noticed handprints on every other window on this floor. As if other people in the past had their hands against the window, peeking out. Exactly like I was doing at that moment. I put my hands on my head in a moment of despair. I really didn't know what to do. I screamed at the top of my lungs, "FUCK". Then I heard footsteps around the corner. I stood in shock, and didn't move or speak or react at all. Then they stopped and a voice like Blair's spoke and said, "How the fuck do I get out of here?" It said in a frantic voice. A tear dripped down my face.

I walked down the hall and as I passed one window, and another, I heard a thumping on one of the windows and someone screaming for help. It was a female voice, much like Alexia's... I ran fast down the hall and reached some stairs and I was so horrified that I slipped on one of the last steps and fell to the ground. I cut my arm on a piece of debris on the ground. I screamed in pain and wiped my arm in my shirt. I was now on the second floor. Then, I continued and walked back down to the bottom floor and ran into the sports hall. There was no way out from there. I walked through and saw a small garden that I didn't notice was there at first.

The door was unlocked and I pushed it open, it wasn't too stiff. I walked through the garden and was getting drenched in the rain. I saw a path and walked along it, walking alongside the school dinner hall. These windows weren't boarded up, but some of them were so dirty you couldn't really look through them. Suddenly, a loud bang came from the window and i saw the silhouette of a human body against the window. It seemed to walk backwards and then suddenly ran forwards and slammed into the window. I stood in shock as this person or thing slammed itself into the window. It was so dark outside now, practically pitched black. I ran along the path away from the dinner hall windows and it brought me to the back of the school. I ran round the side that we didn't explore and saw gates. I tried to climb over them multiple times before finally getting over them. I ran down this side which brought me to the front of the building and I didn't see my friends. I screamed for them and got no reply. I sat for ten minutes thinking about where they could have gone. Then I heard panting. I heard running footsteps and it was Aiden, he climbed over the same gate that I did. He ran over to me and hugged me. A few seconds after, Blair came the same way. She saw us and cried. She was shaking like crazy. Alexia was still not here. The three of us stood in silence, waiting for something to happen. We heard a faint scream getting louder as Alexia ran into the gate that we had all jumped over. She began to climb it and eventually got over, before collapsing onto the ground and crying in front of us.

We all discussed what happened and that's when we all got even more freaked out. I'll tell you now. Alexia, panting, told us what happened to her first. She said, "After Henry (me) walked up the stairs, I ran up after him and couldn't see him in the hall so I turned round to where Blair and Aiden were walking behind me and they weren't there. I got lost and I walked everywhere. I went to the top floor and I saw you three outside. Then I heard banging on the windows. Then I banged on the windows and screamed for help but you couldn't hear me." - That's when she noticed that Blair, Aiden and I had our hands over our mouths in shock. "Thats almost exactly what happened to me," Blair started. Aiden put his hands on his head in awe and listened while Alexia had a confused look on her face. Blair continues, "Aiden and me were walking up the stairs to look for Alexia and Henry but we couldnt see you guys. Aiden went into one of the classrooms and I walked into the library. When I couldn't find Alexia or Henry, I walked out of the library and Aiden wasn't there. I was shaking, calling his name and asking him where he went but he didn't reply". Aiden then included, "Blair, when I came out of the classroom you were nowhere to be found. Neither were Henry or Alexia. I went looking on the top floor and just kept asking myself how the fuck could I get out". I told my side of the story and we connected the pieces. We were all in the same place; speaking, yelling, banging but none of us could see each other. We could hear each other, but not see each other. I heard Blair talking, Alexia banging on the windows for help, and Aiden talking to himself. We all heard each other, but didn't see each other.

After we finished talking and realised what the fuck had just happened, Alexia pointed out the front of the building. Some of the windows in the top floor that weren't boarded up had words painted on them. "L E A V E N O W". We looked at each other before sprinting out of the property. It's been months since that night and we still talk about it a lot but we have never understood why or what happened to us.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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