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emeraldbabygirl · 2 years

Text

Untitled pt.2

Genre: smut, and super super fluffness overload uwu

Warnings/kinks: it’s a lil sad in the beginning but it’s okay! It gets better! mentions of body and self esteem issues, chubby reader, virgin reader, female reader, experienced kyubin 👉👈 It’s like a full on walk through of the entire sexual experience so a lot of kissing, UNPROTECTED HAND HOLDING, like kind of breast worship? a little bit, light nipple play, lil love bites uwu, A Guide to the Handjob: For Beginners, some light finger blasting, that one cunny licking word that ion how to spell but I wanted it to sound nicer than “pussy eating” PROTECC THE PEEN DURING THE SIDEWAYS DOLPHIN, so many pet names (I went overboard because I am a slut) ITS REALLY SWEET AND CUTE SEX NOT ROUGH AND A LOT OF CUTE TOUCHING AND THINGS

Length: it’s the longest fic I’ve ever written so if you don’t like long texts don’t read because I have no idea how many words she’ll have when I’m done. It’s probably over 4000 I’m gonna throw that number out there.

AN: I JUST WANT TO THANK THE LOVELY @enhyp3nen FOR SUGGESTING A PART 2 IM GONNA BE SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME I WRITE THIS OMG I CANNOT SKSKSKSKK SKRRT! So yes thank you for this suggestion and I hope you like this part just as much as the first! Btw we need more Kyubin specific writings of any and every kind HE IS THE SUN UGH. I’m love him and he just..ok let’s get on with it uwu! P.S since this is literally my life’s work I would really love if I got feedback on it. I do think it’s one of my best fics but I know it’s not totally perfect so I’ve anyone wants to say something nice about it please don’t say it’s horrible I will cry this took me like...idk months. But no pressure if you don’t want to say anything. Like if you just like it that’s cool too 👉👈

It was exactly eight at night when you came into the living room. Just as you had hoped, there was your wonderful boyfriend Kyubin sitting on the couch watching tv.

Tonight you were finally going to initiate sex for the very first time in your relationship. After what happened in the shower that one time you worked your very hardest to feel better about yourself and put more trust in Kyubin. He had given you the whole ‘love yourself’ talk so many times you finally listened to his advice and put his words and that talk to good use. You stepped up and stepped out of your comfort zone a few times which surprised your boyfriend but the way he got excited and happy to see you become more confident in yourself and the way he praised you even more made you truly want to take the next step. He never stopped telling you he was going to support you through all the things you did.

You took a deep breath and approached him. You still weren’t confident enough to entice him with any special lingerie but since this was such a big step for you you didn’t think it mattered. You spent hours before now in the bathroom, showering, making sure your legs were shaved and smooth, shaving other parts of you body; you didn’t want to look like a gorilla. You sprayed on just a little bit of perfume to hopefully mask the nervous sweat before changing into clean clothes. One of Kyubin’s t-shirts and a pair of shorts that you mostly wore around when Kyubin was not home. Super soft pink shorts with a ribbon tied in the front. You didn’t want to overdo yourself but you wanted to look good for him to the best of your ability. Your hair was still a bit wet as you tucked it behind your ear. You opted to keeping it lose instead of the go-to ponytail it was always in. Like you said, you wanted to look good but in a comfortable way.

“Kyubin,” you called out trying your very best to sound clear and confident. You wanted to be able to communicate well with your boyfriend especially now. There was no backing down from this tonight. You had worked so hard to get to where you are now and nothing was going to get in your way. Kyubin turned to you and as he did you started blushing like crazy. His eyes were widening slightly at the sight. A comforting smile spread across his beautiful face, the kind that always gave your tummy butterflies. Your heartbeat was speeding up and your mind was starting to get mushy with every and any thought going through your head.

“Hey baby,” Kyubin repositioned himself on the couch and held his hand out for you. You gave a small smile and joined him on the couch. “Look at you baby. Oh, are you out of clean clothes? I can do some laundry?” Kyubin questioned. His hand went up to cup your now beat red face. His thumb very slowly caressed your cheek. “Kyubin,” you began. You were suddenly extremely nervous. Why did Kyubin think you were out of clean clothes? Did he think you were dressed like a slob? He wouldn’t really think that would he, it was just a question. I mean he’s never seen you in anything other than pants. Mostly sweats. Despite all the cute skirts and dresses you had in your closet you never wore them. Negative thoughts started to gather in your head but you pushed them back. ‘One step at a time’ you thought to yourself.

“I wanted to wear shorts. I usually only wear them when you aren’t home..but tonight I wanted to..” you stopped your sentence. Kyubin shifted so his body was facing you, his right arm around the back of the couch and his left hand slowly resting on your thigh. Not on the skin but just on top of your shirt. It was awfully long anyway. Kyubin’s hand was warm on your thigh, when you looked down his large hand looked very small against your thighs that were, well, big. His thumb moved slowly along the cotton material of the shirt.

When you looked up at Kyubin again there was a loving and comforting look across his entire face, his eyes were locked on yours, a small very slight twinkle that only comes out when he looks at you. It made you smile a little wider. “You look very cute my love.” Every time Kyubin called you a sweet nickname like this you felt your heart burst out of your chest and you fought every urge to kiss him. You’ve never even made out with your boyfriend until you were in the shower with him. It drove you crazy that you couldn’t just be intimate with him whenever. You unconsciously looked down beginning to wring your hands. You did this when you started to get nervous or if you were about to cry. What a shame it was that you happened to be doing both right now. This wasn’t the way you wanted it to go. You wanted to be confident in asking him and now you just seemed pathetic.

“Hey,” Kyubin lightly grabbed your chin and lifted it up so your eyes met his. “You look cute. It’s very big of you to wear something like shorts with me in the house. Especially since you’re always in sweatpants all the time.” Kyubin chuckles causing you to laugh a little. “I know I say this all the time but you are absolutely stunning. You are my beautiful girlfriend no matter what and I will continue to tell you until you believe it yourself.” Kyubin spoke softly but clearly making sure you heard his every word. He wiped your tears away with his thumb.

This was it. You should speak up now while you and Kyubin are having this talk. Remember, one step at a time? You can do this. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly you opened your mouth. “Kyubin, I dressed up for you. Well, kind of. Tonight..” you paused. Could you do this? Were you really ready like you thought you were? You reached up and grabbed Kyubin’s hand that was cupping your cheek and lowered it into your lap. You held his hand with both your hands, running your thumb over the back of his hand. You made eye contact with Kyubin, you did all you could to keep the tears at bay, the nerves shooting through your body like electricity.

Kyubin’s other hand was lightly patting your head. He said nothing but waited so patiently for you to continue. “Kyubin,” you repeat his name once again. “I want to have sex tonight.” You did it. You finally said it. Your face was so hot and you were starting to nervous sweat but you did it. You were expecting Kyubin to be happy at your confession but he looked sad and a little confused. You looked into his eyes for any confirmation that he heard anything you just said. What if he changed his mind and didn’t want to have sex with you? What if-

“Are you sure you are ready?” Kyubin interrupted your thoughts. He placed the hand that wasn’t been held by you over yours and you let him hold your hands in his. “I haven’t pressured you too much have I? Are you feeling bad because we haven’t gotten intimate?” You shook your head. “No it’s not that. Kyubin..I’ve been working on myself these past couple months and..and I want to show you that I’m ready to be intimate with you. Kyubin, I want to have sex and make love to you. I want to feel good and make you feel good and just have fun with you sexually. I’m ready.” Your voice wavered because of nerves but you did your best to sound confident. Kyubin sat there for a moment. He was thinking, you could tell because his eyebrows were furrowed and his eyes were locked on something spacing out. He did that when he was thinking, you thought it was sexy to be really honest. Then he unexpectedly pulled you into a hug. His big arms held you and you smiled but started to tear up. Were you still nervous or were you happy and relieved? Maybe you were scared of what was to come.

When he pulled away he held your face with both his hands and brought his lips to yours for a quick kiss. “I’m so fucking proud of you my love. So so proud.” You smiled leaning into Kyubin’s hand. Kyubin rose to his feet and held his hand out once again to help you up. You got this sudden surge of excitement that you couldn’t help but let out a giggle. You loved that he was actually happy about your confession and that he was so proud of you. Your hard work really did pay off. He grabbed your hand as you walked slowly to your bedroom. Whenever you glanced at him he looked at you with that huge and wholesome smile. He couldn’t stop smiling.

When you got to the bed he sat you down right in the middle gently. It was the next step. The two of you in each other’s presence just a couple articles of clothing away from molding your bodies together in sweet sweet bliss. Just the thought of it alone had your head spinning. And then you had a negative thought. You would be completely naked and exposed in front of him. This time it wasn’t in the shower and you were actually going to go further than kissing. What if he changed his mind in the middle of it? What if he pulled another stunt like he did in the shower. Memories flooded back into your mind of how he turned into some type of lust craving animal and it terrified you, the way his lips attacked your wet skin and his hands had a mind of their own. You started to cry. This was definitely not how you wanted things to go at all.

“Y/n, my love. Look at me.” Kyubin tucked your hair behind your ear waiting for your eyes to meet with his. He gave a small smile. “It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to feel a little uneasy. It’s okay that you are scared. Everything will be alright I promise you that. I will take care of you alright? You have my word.” You broke a smile. Kyubin really was the best and most wonderful man in your entire life. The sweetest boyfriend.

“Communication is super important from here on out okay. You have the wheel, let me know how everything is along the way alright? You are in charge okay? Just promise me one thing,” Kyubin gently held the back of your head and brought his forehead to yours. You could smell his scent and it helped calm you down. “If at any time you get uncomfortable you tell me. If at any time no matter how far along we are, you want to stop you tell me and I will stop. If you need a break you tell me, if you need anything at all you open that pretty mouth of yours and tell me nice and clear with your words you understand me?”

You nodded. This dominant side of Kyubin was so hot and you could honestly say it was a huge turn on. Knowing that he would take care of you in the bedroom was something that you never dreamed would happen. It made your heart go crazy. “Communication y/n, use your words. I need to hear that you understand.” Your breathing became heavy your eyelids were closing. You felt a warm sensation through your entire body. Was this you being turned on? “Y-Yes. I understand Kyubin. I will Kyuuu~” You couldn’t focus on anything anymore your brain was turning into mush and so were your words.

You opened you eyes and were met with Kyubin’s, the sparkle that he always had while looking at you even brighter. “I’m gonna love you so much tonight, make you feel amazing, help you explore that beautiful body of yours. I’ll take care of you my love.” He said cupping your face gently. You wanted to dive right in a start kissing him on his pretty lips but you had a pit at the bottom of your stomach. Something was bothering you and you needed to talk to Kyubin about it. You didn’t know if you felt guilty or angry or scared but you had to say something now before things got too far.

“Um, Kyubin. C-can we talk. About what happened in the shower?” Your voice wasn’t very convincing, it sounded weak and scared but Kyubin understood all the thoughts and emotions going through you and he knew that you were trying your best tonight. He nodded resting his hand gently on your thigh. You let out a deep breath before you continued. “What happened Kyu?” It took a moment for him to answer, he was probably gathering his thoughts. He was surprised that you brought it up in fact. Kyubin figured you pushed it behind you but it looks like it was still bothering you.

Kyubin sighed. “I don’t know.” His voice sounded confused and unsure. He wouldn’t look at you. For a moment you wondered if he himself attempted to push the situation to the back of his mind like you did. Did it even bother him? And why was he not looking at you when he had all night? “I don’t know..” he said again. His head was down and he removed his hands from your thigh and began messing with his fingers like what you do when you get fidgety or anxious. Like you did earlier before you cried. You didn’t know what was going on and so you placed your hand on his arm and that’s when your sweet boyfriend Kyubin looked up at you with teary eyes. Your heart sank a bit seeing him like this.

You wondered if he was capable of having a panic attack. Was he having one right now? What was going on in that brain of his. His eyes shifted around the room his bottom lip quivering. He shook his head before finally meeting your eyes.

“I don’t know. I don’t know I- something just came over me like I was turning into some animal and and I couldn’t stop myself. It was like I was in a trance.” Kyubin’s hands were shaking and you quickly grabbed them and ran circles over the back of his hands with your thumbs. Clear tears fell down Kyubin’s cheeks every time he blinked. His eyes kept looking down and around the room. “I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know if I was in the moment and just wanted to have you because I was feeling impatient. I don’t know if I was frustrated with you for not trusting me and I just wanted to force you to get intimate..”

You placed one of your hands against Kyubin’s cheek so his head would stay in one place. You didn’t say anything because you knew Kyubin wasn’t done talking so you just listened trying your best not to choke up over his words and stay calm for him. This was something you’d never seen from Kyubin. He was showing a very shy and vulnerable side of him and you needed to be there for him in this moment.

“When I saw the horrified look in your eyes and you pushed me away I couldn’t deal with myself I don’t know why I did what I did. I don’t know why I hurt you and took advantage of you like that when I knew that you were not ready for anything like that. I knew you were hurting and I’m so so sorry that I just turned into a monster that night. I wanted to hold you immediately and explain everything and apologize and I wanted you to be ok but I wanted to give you space. I felt horrible and I still do. I’m sorry darling I really am.” You scooted a bit closer to wrap your arms around Kyubin. He was warm and smelled nice and he found it comforting to be held in your arms for once. “Kyubin, I trust you more than anyone in my life. When you did that I was worried that you got tired of waiting for me and you felt like you had to rush it. It was scary Kyubin. You won’t lose control like that tonight. Will you?” You whispered choking up.

Kyubin quickly pulled away from you holding your face in his hands. “No. No absolutely not, I will never pull anything like that ever again my love I promise you I never will. No tonight I will take care of you and it will be much different from what happened then I promise. I never want to hurt you like that again.” Kyubin slightly rubbed his nose against yours both of you now in tears from the talk. You were now confident and even more trusting of Kyubin. You slowly pressed your lips into his. It was sudden but Kyubin slowly relaxed his body one of his hands staying on your cheek the other gently twirling some of your hair around his finger before placing that hand on your upper arm. His lips were so soft and warm on yours. It felt good and calming and you were very much enjoying this kiss.

Kyubin slowly pulled away and looked into your eyes before kissing you again. A little longer this time. You let your hand roam up his chest where they found home in his beautiful hair. You didn’t pull on his hair but you did run your hand through it feeling his soft locks in between your fingertips. The kiss was so sweet and he was so gentle. Pulling away slowly blushing just to go back in and taste your lips over and over. Kyubin loved the way you small lips molded into his. He kept the kiss at a gentle and slow pace just enjoying this new moment for both of you. He was finally kissing his pretty girl like this for the first time. It made his heart swell up. When he pulled away again he looked at you. Your bottom lip curling in to become trapped between your teeth. The pink on your cheeks making you look even more adorable.

Your eyes looked up at him. Kyubin’s heart was pounding so loud he was sure you could hear it. Without another thought you kissed Kyubin a little more intensely. Your hands were now placed on his chest, your fingers curling to grip his shirt. Kyubin was taken aback when you slowly pushed your tongue into his mouth. Parting his lips as your soft tongue touched his. Kyubin was in another world. He could’ve gotten drunk off of this kiss. He tested the waters, pushing your tongue back with his it was his turn to enter your mouth. Kyubin could’ve sworn he heard a faint moan as his tongue moved around your soft and small mouth. Both your eyes were shut so tight just enjoying the moment and each other. This continued, letting each other explore one another’s mouths with their tongues feeling how soft y/n’s mouth was and the way her tongue tickled when it entered Kyubin’s. You finally both pulled away a trail of saliva connecting her tongue to yours. Kyubin wanted to go back in but he held back. His love was a bit out of breath and he wanted her to let him know how she felt before he went any further. She was so so pretty like this Kyubin really couldn’t help imagining what she might look like all fucked out just for him. Her soft tongue hanging out slightly, the rise and fall of her chest, the sparkly haze in her eyes and of course the color of pink or maybe red on her face from it all. Kyubin pushed that thought to the back of his mind. “How was it? How are you feeling right now?” He asked softly. He had to catch his breath as well. Kyubin had never been so excited over a kiss before. He could honestly say it took his breath away.

“It was perfect.” you said in a low whisper. You were so nervous to look into Kyubin’s eyes as your face was so warm from all this blushing. “I- I like the way you kiss. I like your lips, a lot.” you tucked a fallen strand of hair behind your ear before looking up at Kyubin. He was smiling so wide and his cheeks almost matched with the same shade of pink as yours. “I’m glad. I like your lips too. Nice and soft.” Kyubin leaned into you again giving you a quick kiss on the nose before going back to your lips. It was another slow kiss, you could feel butterflies in your stomach you were so excited to be kissing him. It felt unreal for you. You were in heaven right now and it was only from his lips. You felt both of Kyubin’s hands gently hold your sides and you jumped a bit breaking the kiss. You looked down and back up at Kyubin.

“I’m sorry. Is it okay if I touch you? Did that make you uncomfortable? Kyubin asked worry in his voice. He looked into your eyes watching for a reaction. You gave a small smile. “It’s okay, I’m alright.” Kyubin nodded and placed his hands back on your side holding you. You found yourself moving your hands up to cup his face, gently rubbing your thumbs against his soft skin. His hands felt so warm and comforting on your hips. You both pulled away only for a second before Kyubin shifted a little closer to you. One hand held the back of your neck and his other hand rested against the small of your back. As his arm snaked around behind you and his fingers touched the skin on the back of your neck a shiver went up your spine. It was a new feeling for you. You felt very warm and giddy.

You two continued to kiss slowly, allowing Kyubin to place his hands on different places on your body like your thighs and arms. He kept coming back to place his hands on your hips though and it made you smile against his lips. Kyubin pulled away once again now placing both his hands on your arms slowly rubbing up and down your skin. You were getting used to his touch and were ready to move on. “Is it okay if I take your shirt off?” he asked. ‘uh oh,’ you thought. ‘were you gonna back out now? after you made it so far already?’ Kyubin sensed your hesitation as your arms immediately hugged your stomach. You slowly nodded your head. “Yes, you can.” you said moving your hands away from you raising them up above your head. You were blushing more and more as this was continuing. You had so many feelings in you and it was hard to contain them all.

Kyubin took the bottom of your shirt and very slowly took it off of you and set it on the bed. Kyubin’s entire expression changed upon seeing you, his eyes lit up and he smiled for the umpteenth time that night. Kyubin was like a smiling vending machine. It made you smile despite the nerves. It was natural for you to cover yourself and so when your hand went to cover your bra and stomach Kyubin was patient with you.

“Look at me y/n.” he said in that sexy dominant yet gentle tone. His hands grasped yours slowly moving them from your body. He held them in is on your thighs. “This is big step for you isn’t it? There’s no need to cover up okay? Look at you, you are absolutely gorgeous.” Kyubin eyed you taking in your light pink bra and the little bit of fat that sat around your waist. Kyubin wanted to squeeze you so bad. “You’re so cute babe.”

“B-but I’m fat..please don’t say such things Kyubin.” you wanted to cry more but you were so tired of crying. Kyubin smiled at you letting go of your hands and placed them on your stomach and then moving them to your hips again. You inhaled sharp, your eyelashes fluttered as Kyubin suddenly leaned down to press his lips to your stomach. His lips felt nice on your stomach, he was slow just like he had been so far. Each kiss causing your heart to skip a beat. You didn’t say anything as you just let Kyubin kiss you. He moved up to your shoulders leaving a trail of light pecks up and along your collarbone. You tilted your head to the side so he could get your neck which caused a shiver to shoot up your spine.

“You’re perfect you know that? Absolutely perfect.” Kyubin hugged you close as he kept kissing your neck. You almost felt lightheaded or dizzy because his lips felt so good on your skin. “Kyubin,” you spoke up pulling yourself back a bit. He stopped and looked up at you. “What’s wrong? Do you want to stop?” you shook your head and let out a big breath. “It’s just a lot of feelings and things. You know? Your lips feel so good and I feel them all over me and I get a little dizzy or something. A-and my stomach turns, l-like butterflies and and..” you trailed off.

“Do you want to take a break? Do you need some water?” He questioned grabbing your hands again, intertwining his fingers with yours. You shook your head. “Can I take your shirt off?” you asked Kyubin. When he nodded you squeaked out of excitement. Your hands were shaking trying to fiddle with the buttons on Kyubin’s silk shirt but when you slipped it down his shoulders revealing his chest and toned arms and abs you were in awe. Of course you had seen Kyubin multiple times without a shirt, the man worked out for fucks sake but in this context it felt so much different. Kyubin took his shirt off the rest of the way placing it next to yours as you stared at him.

“Hey, it’s not nice to stare.” he laughed petting your hair. “I’m sorry, your just..well..you’re so pretty Kyu.” You were in a trance as your hands slowly touched Kyubin’s abs, your fingertips on his warm skin moving up to his chest and feeling his biceps and just touching his beautiful skin. You rested one hand on his shoulder leaning towards him raising up a bit, as he was taller than you even while sitting down, and you left light and soft kisses on his neck. You heard a faint moan come out of him which caused you to giggle. “You’re doing so good love. Your lips feel so good.” By now you were starting to feel as though things weren’t progressing fast enough. It had probably been maybe two hours and you still had most of your clothes on. You laughed a bit confusing your boyfriend. “Um..” you began becoming confident enough to reach into the back and start unclipping your bra. Whoever made bras that clip in the back can go to hell cause you were embarrassing yourself trying get the damn thing off. You sighed in defeat. “Stupid bra.” you mumbled. Kyubin let out a light laugh seeing you trying so hard and going nowhere. You started to laugh as well which helped shake more nerves off.

“Do you want me to get it?” You nodded and Kyubin slowly unhooked your bra. He let you hold it up until you were ready to take it off and when you did he acted like an excited puppy. You could barely get the bra on the bed before he quickly pulled you in a tight hug.

“Kyubin? Are you okay?” you asked. He was so confusing sometimes. “You’re so cute I can’t believe it. Look at you y/n!” his tone was full of excitement, smiling from ear to ear. How many times was he going to smile so wide tonight? You giggled as he pulled away to look at you. “You’re doing so good I’m so proud of you! You’re so so beautiful I love you.”

Kyubin had never been so excited in his entire life it was like unwrapping the best present ever. Kyubin took your hands in his and kissed the back of them while looking up at you with his beautiful eyes. “You’re so excited Kyubin..do I look okay?” you were happy that Kyubin was in such a good mood but you were still shy about this whole situation.

Kyubin smiled and went in for another kiss. This kiss felt different. His body was touching yours, you could feel his skin on yours, and knowing that you were bare from the waist up made the kiss feel dirty and rebellious. Your hand found home in Kyubin’s soft locks once again as you two enjoyed an extra long kiss your tongues very gently touching and rubbing against each other. You even got Kyubin’s breath to hitch when you playfully bit his bottom lip for the first time. Kyubin couldn’t stop smiling he was totally over the moon right now. The fact that he was so happy, not rushing you and treating you so well and he wasn’t even in your pants yet not only gave you a huge boost of confidence but it made you feel so much more safe and loved by him. You couldn’t ask for anything better than this moment.

He placed more kisses on your neck and shoulders, rubbing your back, petting you hair and stopping to hold you in his arms. The only thing he seemed to forget was answer your question. “Kyubin, you didn’t answer me.” you said firmly. He stopped and looked up at you raising one eyebrow. You rolled your eyes and smiled. “I asked you if I looked ok..you know..here.” you gestured to your chest. Kyubin frowned for the first time in a while. “What do you mean love, of course you look okay, you look perfect. Why?” You started to fiddle with your fingers again. The realization of reality was starting to kick in. You were half naked in front of your boyfriend and you were going to have sex with him tonight. Which meant he would see your entire body and watch and listen as your body did things it’s never done before. What if he didn’t like it. Did he even like your breasts?

As always Kyubin sensed an uneasy feeling and got all serious but still loving. “Y/n my love, what’s going on in this pretty little head of yours? Do you want to stop. Nothing is set in stone, we don’t have to do this tonight you have the wheel here-”

“Do you like my breasts?” you blurted out cutting Kyubin off. You were so tired of crying but you started again tears quickly filling up to your waterline and running fast down your cheeks. Kyubin’s face softened and he sighed. Once again Kyubin grabbed your hands to hold in his rubbing the back of them to help calm you down. “I mean, like, do they look okay? Are they too gross or small or something?” you reached up and lightly slapped them in a disgusted way and Kyubin picked up on that and pulled your hands away. “Y/n stop. Stop thinking so negatively about yourself. It hurts my heart every time you bring up an insecurity and ask me if I’m okay with it. You know that I love you. I tell you everyday and if it doesn’t feel like I do then I need to make sure it is crystal clear that I do. Have I ever said that I didn’t like your body? Have I ever told you that your aren’t good enough?”

You shrugged meeting Kyubin’s eyes with yours. Wiping away some of your own tears you sighed. “No but I can’t help feeling the way I do. I don’t know Kyu, I just feel like I’m not good enough for you. I wish I was sexy you know? I want to be super skinny and have great boobs like other girls and I want men to look at me, and I want to be flirted with and I want to feel good in revealing clothing. Don’t you want that for me?” You lowered your head your eyes just focusing on the bedspread. Kyubin grabbed your chin and raised it up so you were looking at him. His expression told you he was not happy. Why did your stupid feelings have to get in the way and ruin everything? It was going good until it wasn’t.

“I don’t want you to be skinny and look like every other girl I’ve ever dated. I want you to look like you. I want you to have more to yourself then just looks. I don’t want you ever thinking you need to look a certain way to please me or any other man and I sure as hell don’t want you thinking a man will only want you if you are skinny and have the body of every damn super model on the runways today. You’ve watched those shows, you know they go through harsh and unhealthy diets to get that skinny. it’s not fair on your body or mind to push yourself to be at an unhealthy weight.”

“But I’m fat.”

“You are a healthy weight. You are not in danger of any health risks or death, you are perfectly healthy. Yes you have some chub, yes you are not a twig but I don’t care. I don’t care if your boobs are the size they are now or if they are the size of a fucking peanut babe, honestly. You’re hurting yourself with this mindset that you are not enough. You are more than enough. I love you from the inside out. Every single part of your body, every vein, stretch mark, hair, and everything in between. It’s always about how you make me feel that I love about you. You could wake up one day and be purple with yellow polka dots and I would still love you. You have a good heart, a good personality. You are sweet and make me laugh and you are just perfect in every way I can think of.” he cupped the side of your face wiping away more tears as they continued to fall down your face.”I’m sorry Kyu.” you spoke up reaching for his wrist with your hand.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. I know this is really hard for you and I know it’s going to take some time but I promise I am going to be with you every single step of the way. I am your number one fan darling. You should never ever compare yourself with others. You know they could be feeling the same way as you. Just because you aren’t a certain way that you think is the standard does not mean that I will love you any less. I chose you over so many others.”

Kyubin rubs his nose to yours and places a quick kiss to your lips. “I want nothing more than for you to love your body and be confident and enjoy everything life has to offer. You deserve every bit of happiness and I won’t let anything get in the way of that. I don’t care how many times I will give you this talk, I will continue to do so as long as I live I swear to you. You can’t make me not love you or fall in love with you anymore than I already have. Y/n, you know I’m just head over heels in love with everything about you.” You smile and hug Kyubin.

“Do you still feel like continuing? You seem very tired. Do you want to call it a night?” You violently shook your head. “No, please Kyu, I want this. I want you tonight please..I just need to work this out.”

“I’m with you all the way love.” Kyubin was so sweet you could throw up. What did you do to deserve such a great and wonderfully sweet boyfriend like him? “Shall we continue?” Kyubin asked. You were ready to feel Kyubin’s warm and comforting touch again. It was quiet for a little bit, you two just stared into each others eyes, you loved the way Kyubin’s eyes sparkled so bright. His eyes were so pretty. “Can I touch you here?” he broke the silence gesturing to your chest. Your heart was pounding so hard you thought it might jump to your throat. “Yes, yes Kyubin..please.” your tone of voice and confirmation in the form of asking surprised Kyubin and he wondered if you were starting to get aroused.

Warm hands gently cupped each breast holding them for awhile letting you get used to them being touched and held. You were nervous sweating and it was in fact more embarrassing than having your boyfriend hold your breasts. Kyubin looked up at you for a silent approval. Despite him saying you needed to use your words some things you both understood with just the look in your eyes. Kyubin gently squeezed one breast in his hand causing a light gasp to fall from your lips. His hands were so warm and felt even better on your breasts then when they were on your hips. He took his time playing with your breasts. Squeezing and pushing them together, paying special attention to the pretty noises you made. He made eye contact with you as his fingers pinched and rolled the nipple on you left breast. You gasped again flinching slightly at the new sensation.

“Kyubin, h-how’d you get s-so confident. You know, with yourself?” You asked while he was working your nipple into a point. His fingers were so delicate and and did such a good job of applying just the right amount of pressure. “I just kinda trained myself I guess. Tried my very best to work on myself and not let the comments of other’s get to me.” He was so good at multitasking it was blowing your mind. You were itching to found out what else he could do with his fingers. Your thoughts were becoming too dirty but you couldn’t help it. You had never felt this way before. Kyubin’s touches were literally heaven. He knew how to make you squirm under him and it made you wonder all the things he could do to you with his co-”

“Ahh Kyu~” your thoughts were cut off as you felt his wet tongue touch your right nipple, his fingers still rolling at your left nipple. Like a new reflex you grabbed Kyubin’s head with your right hand and held him in place as his tongue licked and played around with your nipple. You could feel him smiling and feel what you only assumed was arousal pool between your legs. You had no idea what this feeling was inside you but you were getting tingles all over your body, your head, the back of your neck, up your spine and even between your legs. You couldn’t control how red your face was now, the more Kyubin sucked the more vocal you got. He switched to your left nipple doing the same thing. He himself started to gently moan and hum to get you more in the mood and help again to make you feel more comfortable. The moment his teeth grazed at your nipple you let out the prettiest moan Kyubin had ever heard. You fell back on the bed breathing heavy, closing your legs as fast as you could. It was overwhelming what you were feeling but you were just so excited and you wanted more.

“Are you alright love?” Kyubin asked leaning over you watching some fresh tears roll down your cheeks. “Yes, yes I’m good-d oh my god Kyubin.” You laid on the bed trying to catch your breath as Kyubin laid himself beside you stroking the side of your face and lightly grazing his fingertips down your stomach, up your thighs and around your arms. “You just let out the most cute and gorgeous little moan ever you know that? I’ve never heard anything sound so angelic it was like music to my ears.” You blushed still as if you weren’t red enough. You looked into Kyubin’s eyes again. Biting your lower lips you pulled Kyubin into you grabbing locks of his hair and holding on as you kissed him a little more intensely letting yourself moan into his mouth. Kyubin’s hands pressed themselves into the mattress his body hovering above you. You gasped sharply when you felt his lower region just touch yours.

You pulled your boyfriend closer to you resting your face against his neck as you let your body take over while your brain was disconnected for a bit. You bucked your hips up once against Kyubin’s groin causing your thighs to shudder at the feeling. You squeezed your eyes tightly moaning into his neck as you did it once more hearing Kyubin’s breathing pick up. You let go of Kyubin and he kept his entire body hovered above yours for a little bit. “I-I’m sorry um..I was..” you trailed off embarrassed by what you just did.

“Can I asked you something?” Kyubin gets off of you and lays next to you again. When he says yes you turn to him. You run your fingers up and down his arms tracing small circles on his bicep. “Have you had sex with your previous partners?” You said partners as you weren’t sure if Kyubin played for both teams or not. “I have, yes. Why do you ask?”

You pouted a bit. “Were they any good? Like..did you enjoy one over the other?”

“Are you asking if I compared them? No I didn’t. All of my sexual experiences differ with each partner. A lot of times it was very simple and very..I guess you could say pleasant but I had a few moments that weren’t as good. You should never compare partners though y/n. Each partner is different and enjoys different things.”

“Were they all girls?” you questioned softly feeling like you maybe overstepped your boundaries. Kyubin started laughing. “Is that why you said partners? Yes they were all girls. I’m not aware of having sex with other men.” Kyubin twirled a lose strand of your hair around his finger.

“Do you want to? Have sex with men?” You blurted out. Kyubin laughed again. “It’s not for me at the moment. Well, I mean. I’ve only been interested in woman so far. Why do you ask babe? Do you have a fantasy you want to act out, I’m sure I’d be open to something.” You felt your cheeks heat up again and you quickly raised up on the bed.

“No, no no I uh..I just thought maybe um..it might not be satisfactory compared to the other girls. What if I’m not good at it?” Kyubin raised up next to you placing his hand on the small of your back. “Darling, what did I tell you about comparing yourself to others. It’s not fair for me to say who I prefer out of my partners nor compare them to you. I can guarantee having sex with you will be satisfactory for both of us. Don’t worry about the past okay. The present is with you and taking care of you and making sure you enjoy yourself tonight alright love?” Kyubin pressed a kiss to your forehead. Now lay back on those pillow okay, we’re gonna go to the next step.” Kyubin playfully winked and you had to bite back a squeal.

When you had settled yourself in the pillows Kyubin leaned over you his mouth reconnecting to one of your breasts. While his mouth was busy his hand was gently squeezing your breast and playing with your nipple. You let him do as he pleased breathing in the light and fresh perfume he always wore. Having him right under your nose helped you to relax. A few times you flinched when his teeth came in contact with your nipple because you weren’t used to his lips and teeth on such places on your body but he was going slow and carefully listening to each sound you made.

He stopped and looked up at you when you started laughing. “I’m glad to see you in a good mood but what’s so funny?” he asked raising his brow. You reached up to cover your face feeling embarrassed for laughing. “I’m sorry it just kinda tickles.” Kyubin smiled at you a chuckle leaving him.

“You’re so cute love.” Kyubin shook his head and went back to giving your nipple attention. Then he went to the other one leaving pecks around your breasts and up to your collarbone. Your hand found his hair and started petting him. His hair was so soft you wanted to ruffle it and maybe even pull on it but you didn’t want him to accidently bite your nipple off. His lips went down in between your breasts going to your stomach. He kissed your stomach like he did earlier with your lips. Soft and gentle and passionately. “You’re so beautiful. Your stomach is so cute.” he reached for your side and squeezed it a bit. As his lips went down further your heart started beating 80 miles a minute. But then you sighed as he went back up your body and to your lips. You loved his lips on yours it made you so happy to just kiss him and he was such a good kisser. Of course you hadn’t kissed anyone else before but you were very confident that Kyubin was the best.

Kyubin pulled away looking down at you as he held his body above you. Some of his hair fell around his eyes and you gently tucked it back behind his ear looking into his eyes. Your eyes then followed as your hand moved down along his skin touching his neck and chest and then down his arm. You smiled as Kyubin mirrored your actions. “Kyu, you’re so pretty and handsome. I like when you kiss me. Your lips feel good, they feel warm and comforting.” You grabbed one of his hands to intertwine your fingers with his sending Kyubin’s heart to flutter. He gave you a small smile. “I’m glad you like it. I like kissing you too. I think we should definitely kiss more often.” You nodded at his response and he got off of you and moved to the foot of the bed.

“Are we doing that now?” you asked thinking he was ready to move on to the actual sex. Kyubin placed both his hands at your ankles rubbing your legs up and down til he came to your thighs. “Not yet. Can I take your shorts off or do you want to?” You shrugged. You were pretty comfortable right now and you didn’t feel like getting off the bed, taking them off then getting back on the bed. “You do it..I’ll watch.” Your comment made Kyubin smile the color pink finding it’s way on his cheeks. He placed his fingers on the waistline of your shorts. “Ah love these shorts are so cute. They are so soft, are you sure you want me to take them off?” you only giggled. “Of course I do Kyu.” He nodded and you raised your hips up so he could get them down your legs. When they were off your hands quickly glued themselves over your underwear.

“It okay. Relax.” Kyubin didn’t move your hands away or tell you to move them he just went down and started leaving small pecks and love bites on your thighs humming as he did so. His hair falling in his face and sweeping against your thighs tickled and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing again. You felt his lips curve up smiling as he continued to kiss your thighs. His hands held your waist or traced circles on your thighs. You were getting used to his hands on your body and they were so warm against you. You wanted to touch him yourself so you started to run your hands through his hair and against the skin by his neck and shoulders. You raised up off the bed leaning on one elbow. Kyubin held out his hand and you took it is his kissing the back of it. He continued to kiss along your thighs while your hands were out of the way.

You gasped as his lips landed on top of your underwear. He was kissing your panties but they way you could feel the touch from under the cloth had the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Kyubin raised up and starting laughing. “I just got the chills and you have goosebumps on your legs. Are you getting cold?” you shook you head. “No, I’ve just..you know. Never had someone kiss me..there before.” Kyubin nodded taking in your response before he asked you the next question. This time your face was beat red heartbeat just going. “You can yes, but you have to take your pants and panties off too. You playfully crossed your arms sending Kyubin into a fit of laughter.

“Of course I will and I don’t wear panties I wear boxers.”

“Well why can’t I say panties?” you laughed back. Kyubin shook his head giving you a quick kiss to your cheek. “You’re so damn adorable my heart might actually explode.”

“It better not before you get those pants off mister.” you stated pointing a finger at him. Kyubin got off the bed standing at the foot before he took off his belt. Unbuttoning his blue jeans your breath got caught in your throat watching them slide down his waist seeing a slight raise underneath his boxers. “Cute panties Kyu~” you cooed making him smile. You scooted to the foot of the bed your legs tucked under you watching with big eyes as Kyubin slowly slid his boxers down. When he raised up to toss his hair back your lip pulled back in between your teeth. “Oh my god.” you mumbled. Kyubin did that thing that every heartthrob does with his hair before crawling onto the bed. You scooted back as he crawled forward your eyes were glued to his dick. You watched as it bounced around almost like it was waving to you. “Now it’s your turn my love.” he teased.

“Y-you d-do it.” you stuttered. You tried to ask yourself where your thoughts were but they were too busy running around your mind prison screaming like chickens with their heads cut off. You could not take your eyes off Kyubin’s dick. You were mesmerized by it. Kyubin sat on his knees and gently slid your panties off. You once again covered yourself. Kyubin said nothing as his gaze was locked on you. In fact he didn’t need to say anything because you knew what he was thinking. You didn’t need to cover yourself anymore and at this point you didn’t want to. You were moving forward. When your hands moved away from your lower region Kyubin kissed you on the lips again. Every kiss was so nice and warm you could go all night just kissing. It was like every kiss to your lips was a thank you and a praise from Kyubin.

“Can I kiss you down here?” Kyubin asked his face inches from your skin his eyes looking up at you. You giggled a bit feeling the air from his nose tickle. “Yeah, yeah.” you couldn’t stop giggling, something just came over you and the thought of Kyubin kissing you down there was making you laugh. You had never thought of it before but the concept was kind of funny and strange. You covered your face with your hands trying to muffle your laughter.

Kyubin had your legs spread and was hunched over you his lips gently kissing his way around your lady parts. You felt his hot breath and it tickled. “You’re so giggly tonight babe. How cute.” You took your hands off your face when you felt Kyubin’s lips go lower. You eyes went wide as his lips kissed your lower lips. Only for a few seconds before Kyubin raised up. “How was it?” you asked him.

“It was good..could use a little salt though.” you burst out laughing Kyubin joining you. “Do you have enough pillows?” He asked you. You nodded and let out a comfortable sounding sigh. After a few more kisses and approval from you Kyubin used his fingers to touch your lower lips and get you used to him down there. His hands were so warm it felt relaxing but when his thumb gently rubbed against your clit you flinched. “Is something wrong? Should I slow down?”

“No everything is fine I guess I was just surprised. Um..have you ever used sex toys?” The question took Kyubin a bit by surprised. You looked a bit embarrassed to be honest. “oh, well I suppose I have a few times yeah. How about you?” Kyubin just rubbed your skin around your lips, he didn’t want to fingerblast you just yet he wanted you to be comfortable with his hands and fingers toying with you before they entered you.

“I’ve mostly just tried to use my fingers. I’ve been kind of afraid to use sex toys. I don’t think they are for me you know?” Kyubin’s hands stopped touching you and he scratched his head.

“In past relationships I never messed around with a lot of sex toys. When I did use them on my partners it was usually either a dildo or vibrator. For the most part they just liked me using my hands and things.”

“So you never did like nipple clamps or got kinky with a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs?” at this you and Kyubin both burst out laughing again. Kyubin shook his head. “No I think a lot of my partners were really sensitive so I didn’t want to use anything out of their comfort zone and a lot of them told me the same thing as you that that were a bit intimidating for a first time use.”

“Would you ever use a vibrating butt plug? or maybe a strap on?” you blurted out beginning to laugh again. Kyubin raised an eyebrow. “Like on myself or a partner?” He looked so confused it was so cute. You shrugged. “Probably not.” You two talked some more about different sex toys and what you two might want to try together and then you moved on. You moved on so much in fact that you had now allowed Kyubin to start stretching you out with his fingers. He went slow as he slipped one finger at a time into you moving them slowly and gently in and out of your vagina. You felt his finger glide along your walls, curling every now and again and it made light moans roll off your tongue.

“How does it feel? Am I doing okay?” Kyubin asked. He was angling everything so perfect your hips just had a mind of their own. “Yes, it’s perfect Kyubin, it’s so good.” You hadn’t even had his dick inside you yet and you were at a loss for words. He had magic in his hands. Your mind wondered what it would be like to have him finger you in the shower. You kept making these pretty moans and Kyubin was getting so excited. When he asked if he could use his tongue you choked out a yes thinking about how good it might feel down there knowing how good his tongue felt in your mouth.

He repositioned himself on his knees, his mouth lined up with your entrance. He held you his arms wrapped around your thighs keeping them spread as his tongue slowly licked up and around your folds. His kissing started out slow but it became messy pretty quickly. Running his tongue around your clit, his lips roamed around you, his humming sending vibrations inside you that made so many noises escape you. Little gasps every time his tongue went inside your vagina, soft moans when he started to suck your clit that became more loud and filled with need. Your thighs felt kind of like jelly and your breathing was heavy as he made you feel so good. You couldn’t put into words what you were feeling, you couldn’t tell him how he was doing you were so breathless and you couldn’t think about anything at the moment.

The way his warm tongue just went everywhere and then his fingers pushed inside you. You sighed now feeling his tongue and lips and fingers down there. The sensation was indescribable. Your hands moved on their own to find his hair and your pulled his locked which made him moan and that vibrated through you. There was so much he was doing and you were starting to feel like maybe you were going to faint. You had a strange feeling in your stomach and you stuttered trying to find your words. Kyubin stopped when you made a small squeak.

“What happened? Are you alright darling?” Kyubin sat up and came to your side his hand grabbing yours. You smiled at him face all pink. “I’m fine. I’m okay, it was, well I’ve never felt that feeling before. You’ve got magic in you Kyubin, it felt so amazing but I was starting to feel overwhelmed. I don’t know I felt strange.” Kyubin nodded and kissed you again. “And and the sounds coming from down there..they sound so..” you cut yourself off. Lewd was the word you were looking for but you were embarrassed to tell him that. Embarrased to admit that you were turned on and how you felt wet down there and how dirty it felt and sexy to have Kyubin’s entire face down there eating you out. It was a whole new experience and it took your breath away truly. You looked up into Kyubin’s eyes and quietly spoke up. “You make me feel..really g-good. I’m embarrased thinking of such thoughts.”

Kyubin was laying against the bed and you had an idea. You sat up on your knees and started at Kyubin’s erection. “Kyubin,” You started as you reached for his dick. After he treated you so well you wanted to return the favor but when he pulled back you got confused. You scooted closer to him and tried again but he pulled your hand away. “Kyubin what’s wrong? Why won’t you let me touch you?” Negative thoughts started to form in your head. What if he didn’t want you touching him cause he thought you were gross? What if he was taking advantage of you and didn’t want to be touched by you because he wanted control over you? He was your boyfriend, everything leading up to this had been so good and trusting. What happened? You looked at Kyubin’s body language. He wouldn’t look at you, his hair falling in his face again.

“Kyubin..it’s not fair. Why won’t you let me touch you. I’ve put all my trust in you tonight and I would think you would do the same. Why don’t you want me touching you? Am I not good enough?” You held back the tears this time waiting for him to respond. “It’s not that..” Kyubin gave a shy smile. “All my previous partners knew how and..you don’t have any experience.” You furrowed your brows. “So because I have no sexual experience with another person means I can’t try? Kyubin that’s mean how could you? I can’t believe this.”

You went to get off the bed but Kyubin grabbed your wrist. “No y/n it’s not like that I swear. I just want tonight to be all about you. I swear I have no bad intentions. I would never do that to you. Please trust me.” Kyubin sighed letting you go. “Love, I know what it sounds like. I didn’t want to have you do anything tonight cause I thought since this was already a lot for you it would be too overwhelming for you to please me. I wanted you to be comfortable receiving everything tonight. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.” Kyubin’s eyes were sad. He was telling the truth and you mentally kicked yourself for ever thinking he was a bad man. He proved all night that he was the best man ever and you had to stop doubting him. It wasn’t fair on him.

“I’m sorry. I just thought you’d want something. You’ve treated me so well tonight I wanted to return to favor. I know I don’t know what to do or how but you can teach me. Please Kyubin? I want to try.” You let Kyubin sit for a bit before you reached for his hand. After a little longer he nodded.

“Okay. You’re right it’s not fair and if you want to make me feel good tonight you should.” Kyubin pulled your hand over his cock and you let out an unexpected gasp as your fingers wrapped around his shaft. You were choking back your excitement, your hand was touching Kyubin’s dick and it made you giggle. Kyubin kept his hand on top of yours.

“W-what do I do now?” You looked at him and he was smiling. He moved your hand up and down his dick slowly. You squealed a bit in excitement. Your eyes were wide as he gently guided you up and down his shaft.

“Good good. J-just like that. That’s good.” Kyubin’s eyelids fluttered and his chest was starting to raise. You bit your bottom lip looking back and forth between Kyubin and his dick. Kyubin took his hand off of yours and let you take control. With each stroke you sped up and with each stroke you got more excited and turned on hearing Kyubin’s breathing speed up and his moans.

“Kyubin you’re so cute.” You moaned out. You slowed down a bit and swiped your thumb over his slit feeling his precum on your thumb. You felt Kyubin jerk his hips up. When you looked over at him his head was pushing back into the pillow his stomach muscles and arms muscles and really his whole body tightening. His bottom lips was in between his teeth and the image of your boyfriend becoming a mess to your touch like this gave you a small boost of confidence. You smiled and spoke softly as your fingers gently rubbed his tip playing with the cum. You watched it drip down your fingers and you jerked your hand up and down his shaft again coming all the way up to the tip to swipe your thumb over his slit again.

“Am I doing a good job baby? Your cock is so pretty Kyu. You look so cute.” You giggled as Kyubin jerked his hips up again and started thrusting into your hand.

“Fuck, yes baby it feels amazing. You’re doing so g-good fuck.” The way he was acting got you so excited and you sped up again. He let out a loud moan and you felt his hand grab your thigh as he came. You jumped a bit as the cum shot out flying onto his thigh and the sheets. You felt it in your hand and something clicked in your brain that told you to lower yourself down to his cock.

When you went to open your mouth just inches away from his tip, mouth salivating the desire to lick up his cum and suck him off with your mouth, he moved your head out of the way. Confused you looked at him. He was still breathing heavy and to be honest he didn’t have the strength to even push that hard you just felt a gentle nudge. Kyubin’s eyes opened his cheeks pink his breathing still heavy. “That’s enough love. You d-don’t have to do that.”

“Kyubin I wanted to..” you were disappointed that he stopped you and he could hear it in your voice.

“I-I know baby. But you don’t have to. Maybe another time you can give me a blowjob. I promise we’ll have plenty of time to explore each other further okay?” Kyubin blinked his breathing slowing down. He leaned over to grab something on the floor. When he raised back up his shirt was in his hand. He took your hand and wiped his cum off you and then he cleaned his dick. You were a little sad that Kyubin seemed to want to stop.

“I just wanted you to feel good after you made me feel good.” You said wringing your hands again. You heard Kyubin sigh. When you looked at him he looked sad. He was probably internally beating himself up over stopping you.

“I know baby. Trust me you did such a wonderful job, you did make me feel good. You’re hands were so soft and so small and cute god I couldn’t stand it. If you gave me a blowjob..” Kyubin trailed off seeming embarrassed. Maybe he was so turned on it was overwhelming him. “Another time I promise. Another time I’ll let you wrap that pretty mouth around my cock.” As Kyubin was speaking you could hear the excitement in his voice.

You crawled on top of him and kissed him pushing your tongue into his mouth. He moaned in pleasure and you felt his cock harden up slowly against your thigh. “Let’s move on Kyubin please?” You asked pulling away from him. He smiled nodding. You two gently switched positions so he was over you again.

“Baby listen. Before I start I need you to listen to me. I am going to go slow and I am going to let you adjust because you’ve never had a dick in you before. It’s different from fingers you know.” As Kyubin was speaking to you he was holding the back of your thighs rubbing them with him thumbs. He was trying to help your nerves and help you relax. You’re breathing was already so heavy but Kyubin was here just like he promised. You felt safe with him. You felt warmth all throughout your body and your heart felt like it was going to burst out of love. You were spacing out as he spoke to you in such a sweet and gentle tone.

A warm hand cupping your cheek brought you back. “Hey love, listen okay. It’s important. This is going to hurt. It might hurt a lot. I’m going to go slow and if it hurts too much tell me and I’ll stop. It’s very important that you communicate with me during this part okay? I want you to be comfortable and safe. Please please speak up if you want to stop. I am in no rush, if tonight is not the right night that is okay. We can always try again later alright? Do you understand me?” He asked looking into your eyes. “Yes Kyubin.” You nodded.

“Okay, are you ready love?” You gave him another yes and he slowly lined his tip up to your entrance. You breathed in sharply, “wait wait wait,” you blurted out covering your eyes with your hands. All the emotions and all the nerves you had been holding in all night were coming out. You were terrified. You’re thoughts were running at 80 miles an hour. Was he going to care for you after? Was he going to leave you after? Were you only another virgin to his collection? Did he really have bad intentions and he’s lied to you your entire relationship? What if he pulls what he did in the shower again? Or worse? What if he gets you pregnant on purpose and leaves you and the baby? What if he doesn’t like you after he takes your virginity?

“What wrong? Did you change your mind?” Kyubin asked coming to sit next to you. You hesitated. “Um..Kyubin..can I ask how many times you’ve had sex with someone who was a virgin?” Kyubin cocked his head to the side and pondered for a bit. “I have. A few of the woman were virgins yes.”

“Did you only have sex with them?”

“Are you asking if I was in a relationship with them or not? I was. For a few years with some of them. Some only a few months. I was never the type to just hookup.” Kyubin carressed your cheek lightly with the back of his hand.

“Why did you break up with them? Was it because they were no longer virgins?” You started to tear up once again. Kyubin frowned at what you were hinting at. “No. Absolutely not. I am not like that. Often times they just got tired of being in a relationship. Sometimes I ended it because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for them or I felt like they weren’t doing enough for me. They just ended up not working out for whatever reason. I did not break up with them because they were no longer virgins.”

“Oh.” You mumbled. “Y/n are you afraid I won’t love you anymore if you aren’t a virgin?” Kyubin sighed when you looked away more tears falling. “Darling look at me please.” When you did he reached up and wiped a tear away. “I am having sex with you because you are ready and because I love you very much and I want you to know how much and I want me and you to be able to share intimacy like this and explore each other’s bodies and make each other feel good. I want you to trust that I’ll take care of you no matter what. I am your rock. I will be here for you always. Even if you weren’t a virgin I’d still love you and still want to enjoy special things like sex with you and I’d still take care of you.”

Kyubin pulled you into him wrapping his arms around you. “Oh Kyubin.” Your heart was ready to leap out of your chest at his words. He really was the best man ever. Sweet, genuine, it made you want to cry out of happiness. “Since you are a virgin I need to make sure that your first time is okay for you. That’s why I told you in the very beginning that you had the wheel the entire time and that you needed to communicate with me with your words. I will do my absolute best to make sure you are comfortable and feel safe and loved. All the woman I’ve been with that were virgins were all different, all different experiences and I did everything I could to make it a good experience for them. I will do the exact same thing for you. Yes you are way more nervous than they were and a lot more scared but I’m ready to handle it and I’m ready to be here for you now and forever. I will always love you no matter what, you being a virgin or not has no effect on how much I love you and how far I will go to protect you and make sure that you feel okay mentally and physically before during and after this.” He ran his hands through your hair and brought your chin up to look at him.

“I love you Kyubin.” You said reaching up to kiss his lips. This kiss made your heart flutter so much. More than all the previous kisses. It felt like your lips were melting into each other. “Um Kyubin,” you spoke up trying to hold back your laughter when you realized he was about to go in raw. “Did you forget the condom?”

You busted up laughing when his eyes widened. “Oh shit hang on.” Kyubin got off the bed and pulled open the top drawer in the nightstand. He was shuffling around for awhile before coming back to the bed. “Ok, almost forgot.” It made you laugh some more. “Lay back and spread your legs for me please.” Kyubin asked softly as he tore open the small package and began rolling the condom on him. You smiled gushing over how sweet his tone was while speaking so lewdly. Kyubin speaking dirty to you made you feel giddy and made you want to let loose and take control but you didn’t want to get crazy for your first time.

Kyubin ran his hand through his hair his beautiful brown eyes looking into yours. “I’m nervous Kyubin.” You whispered. Your cheeks had been pink all night and you found the heat from your cheeks annoying. You wished he didn’t make you blush so hard it was crazy. Insane even with how crazy he made you. You could tell Kyubin was a little nervous too, his hands were a bit shaky as he reached for yours intertwining your fingers together.

“I know love. It’s okay to be nervous. I am too.” You raised your eyebrow confused. Kyubin chuckled. “I’m taking your virginity. I am nervous. I worry it won’t be a good experience for you or that I’ll accidentally hurt you. I want this to be good for you. I want to treat you so good and I’m worried that I might screw up.” Kyubin looked away saying nothing. You found it funny that he was so nervous as he’s had sex with other woman and taken their virginity. What was the difference?

“Kyubin,” You said sitting up on your elbows reaching for his face. You gently rubbed his cheek. “how am I any different from all your partners before me?” Kyubin was quiet for a moment his hand reaching up to hold yours as he leaned into your touch. His beautiful eyes looked up at you his beautiful lashes making his eyes even more beautiful. He smiled again.

“You’re so special to me y/n. So special. I just love you so so much and you make me so happy all the time and I want to take care of you and treat you right and you just make me so happy. I can’t describe how you make me feel. My heart is so happy every time I look at you..” Kyubin trailed off and you pulled him towards you bringing your lips to his. You felt the corners of his mouth curve up and it made you smile back. You kissed like this slow and sweet until you both pulled away. Then Kyubin laid you back on the bed and started kissing your lips again. He was so gentle but you could feel the want in his actions, how desperate he was to have you. His lips roamed down your neck and to the valley in between your breasts and down to your stomach. He gave your sides a few gentle squeezes and then he grabbed one of your hands to bring it up to his lips. As he kissed the back of your hand he looked up at you. You breathed in a shaky breath. Your heart had the zoomies.

“I’m ready for you Kyubin.” You giggled. He simply nodded and helped you spread you legs moving himself in between your thighs. He grabbed the lube that was sitting on the bed and put a generous amount on your hip bone. You quietly watched as he dipped his digits into you and you let out a soft moan. When Kyubin thought you were slippery enough he rubbed the rest of the lube on the condom and lined himself up to your entrance.

“I want you to breath okay. Just relax and let me know if you want me to stop.” With his free hand he held your side rubbing the skin with his thumb. You took a deep breath as Kyubin pushed himself into your entrance.

A sharp pain shot through you. He barely put his cock in you and you were squirming. Tears quickly formed with how fast you felt the pain. Kyubin was trying to calm you down by tracing circles on your thighs but you were in too much pain. “Baby I know it hurts I know I’m sorry. The pain with go away I promise.” Kyubin was feeling frantic as he never dealt with this before. He was scared he hurt you too much and he was staring to wonder if you pushed yourself too much and you actually weren’t ready for this. Kyubin started to sweat.

“Make it stop Kyu please it hurts!” Your breathing was off and your cheeks were red the tears coming out like waterworks. “Darling it will hurt if I pull out. I know it hurts I’m sorry love but just wait a bit and it won’t hurt as bad I promise you. Just breath ok, focus on your breathing. You don’t need to be hyperventilating right now.” Your hands were over your face clenching your teeth. Kyubin grabbed your hands and held them in his so you could squeeze them. Which you did. A lot. But Kyubin was a a strong man and you weren’t hurting him as much as he was you. His heart hurt knowing you were in pain and watching you cry over it. He knew how scared you were and seeing you like this made him sad. It made him want to stop and wrap you in his arms and just hold you until the tears stopped.

Kyubin figured it would hurt a lot less pulling out than staying in. “Okay I’m gonna pull out alright?” He said wiping some of your tears away.

“No, no Kyubin.” You cried some more. The pain was unbearable but you didn’t want to throw in the towel. You wanted him, you wanted this.

“But I hate seeing you in pain y/n. I don’t want you to cry you’ll get a horrible headache.” Kyubin was gentle in moving the hair out of your face and making sure you felt his touch hoping it would help calm you down.

“I know but please Kyubin. I want this and I know you’ll take care of me. Like you said the pain will go away and then I’ll be fine please Kyubin I want you, I want this. Please, it’s okay. Take my virginity Kyubin.” You were losing your damn mind over the pain the tears blurring your vision so much you could only see the outline of Kyubin’s head.

Kyubin was smiling at your words. He even felt a little dirty with the way you asked him to take your virginity. “Okay. Let me know what the pain subsides I’ll inch my way in. A little at a time we’ll go as slow as you want okay?” You nodded as you reached up to grab his lower arms.

You inhaled as Kyubin finally bottomed out. He had his entire cock inside you and you felt more stuffed than a Christmas dinner. You felt the way he rested inside your walls, filling you up all the way and you had to admit after all the pain went down it was a weird feeling to have something inside you. It made you feel a mix of aroused and embarrassed. “K-Kyu~” You cooed at him.

“Yes love?” Kyubin’s hands were placed on the mattress on either side of your head. His body was a few inches above yours his face just so close to you. His breathing was hot and heavy like yours and his eyes were so big and beautiful. His hair was in his face again and you cupped his face. He was so pretty like this and you had thoughts about you being on top of him. “Please move. M-make me f-feel good Kyu~” You stuttered the red still hanging out on your cheeks. Kyubin smiled leaning down further to kiss your lips.

Kyubin kept a good pace as he continuously thrusted in and out of you. All the pain was gone and what was complete fear of the unknown and worrying about everything had turned into the most wonderful and beautiful experience you could have ever dreamed of. Kyubin has been a doll throughout it all and you were so grateful to him. He didn’t just fuck you Kyubin was taking his time with you making sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself. You two were making love both your bodies close and twisting around each other in sweet bliss. You loved the look in his eyes as you looked down at you, the bright sparkle warmed your heart. You loved the way his hair was bouncing around but also sticking to his forehead and you had to constantly move it out of his eyes. You loved the way he’d slow down to kiss your lips and all over your face and body, the way his hands felt in yours and on your body. It made you feel safe and loved. The way he would smile and comment such sweet things to you as if you needed a thousand more reasons to blush.

Everything was going so smooth and perfect. Suddenly your body felt like it was betraying you. You didn’t know how long he had been going but you got the feeling that maybe you were going to have an orgasm soon. Of course you didn’t know what one felt like or the feeling one gets before one happens and for some reason you didn’t want to. Your head felt strange like you were dizzy or your head felt heavy? you couldn’t really describe it. Your vision was not clear at all Kyubin’s face was so blurred you thought you were going blind. Your stomach felt like it was in multiple knots and each thrust felt more and more intense and amplified. Your heartbeat and quickened and when you tried to call out to your dear Kyubin you felt like you were drifting from him.

You started to panic, you tried to focus on your breathing like Kyubin had told you earlier but how could you when you weren’t even sure if breathing was gonna help. “Kyubin!” You cried out.

“Yes darling, you’re doing so good.” Kyubin’s pace sped up and you tried to move your hands but you felt weak. It took all your strength and focus to find Kyubin’s arm and gently squeeze it.

“Kyubin help something’s wrong Kyubin something’s happening!” You yelled out to him. Your vision was even more blurred now as you began to cry. You were completely freaking out and had no idea what to do. You felt him slow down a bit and felt his hand on your face. You knew he was still with you but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like he was getting farther from you and it scared you so much.

“Baby you’re okay, you’re just climaxing, you’re about to have an orgasm. Is it too much? Do you want me to stop?” You heard his voice and you understood what he was saying but your brain was somewhere else. “Y/n talk to me you have to talk to me okay? I can stop.”

“Kyubin you stay with me? Kyubin please..take me Kyubin.” You managed to blurt out your response. You saw a super blurry Kyubin nod.

“Yes my love I’m right here I’m not going anywhere. Do you want me to make you cum?” He asked. Your heart felt like it was bursting. You could only nod your head in response. “Squeeze my hand if you want to cum okay love, you have to respond.” With all your strength you could muster you squeezed his hand and by god that was all the man needed. Kyubin sped up back to the pace he was before and you felt every feeling again.

“Kyubin Kyubin!” You half screamed. “It’s okay to be scared love it’s okay. I’m right here I’m not letting you go.” Kyubin started to slow down and you felt the condom fill up with his cum and that’s what sent you over. All your senses seemed a thousand times more intense as this wild feeling washed over your entire body. You couldn’t describe it really. It was scary but it felt so good.

You let out multiple cries your entire body shaking like crazy. You feel Kyubin’s arms wrap around you his warm chest against yours. You feel his hair tickling your skin as both of you have your faces buried in each other’s necks. He is saying something to you, he’s repeating something you can hear it but your entire body is in such a place that you can no longer comprehend a thing. All you can feel is this incredible high and the warmth coming from Kyubin.

“It’s okay my love you are okay, you’re doing amazing.” You finally hear Kyubin’s words, his sweet whispers next to your ear sends more butterflies to your stomach and makes your heart swell up. “You’re okay you’re such a good girl you did so good. I’m so proud. I’m right here baby. I’ve got you, you’re safe.” As what you could only assume was you coming down from your life changing orgasm you started to become more aware of your surroundings; you saw Kyubin’s face clearly now his eyes looking into yours, you felt yourself holding his hands and you felt his soft and perfect lips meet yours. You would never ever get enough of those lips.

When Kyubin pulled away a bit his thumb reached down to wipe your tears and softly rub your cheek. “My beautiful girl.” Kyubin said rubbing his nose against yours. He kept praising you and whispering such sweet words into your ear you wondered if his words alone could make you cum. He made you feel so special and loved, it made you so happy in a way you’d never be able to describe. “I’m going to pull out okay? I’ll go slow.” Kyubin raised up a bit and with one hand held the condom so nothing came out and with the other rubbed your stomach to keep you calm in case him pulling out got you riled up again. Kyubin got off the bed to throw the condom away and then climbed back over you.

He gently moved your hair out of your face so you could see him clearly. He was smiling so wide he was glowing. It made you smile back. You two just looked in each other’s eyes for awhile before he kissed you a few times on the lips. Then he went to get up again but you gently grabbed his wrist feeling very sensitive and needy right now.

“Where are you going?” You asked softly. You’re brain was still a little mushy from your orgasm so speaking was a little hard at the moment. Kyubin turned to you cupping your cheek with one hand while his wrist was being held by you.

“I’m gonna get you some water and a towel I’ll be right back ok?” Kyubin went to move away his wrist slipping out of your grasp. You slightly panicked and you quickly grabbed his arm. “Noooo stay here please. I need you Kyu~” water was all the way in the kitchen and you wanted and needed Kyubin here in the bedroom. Kyubin looked at your cute pout and smiled giving you a soft peck on the lips before getting off the bed. With Kyubin’s warm body not touching yours you felt cold. You wrapped your arms around yourself. “Relax love, I have water here,” Kyubin said. You watched him go into the corner of the room and then you remember he keeps a mini fridge next to the window. In the beginning you told him you didn’t want a mini fridge in your room. You didn’t think it was necessary, Kyubin could just go downstairs and get water why does he need a mini fridge in his room anyway? But every night Kyubin was getting out of bed to get a glass of water or he would leave just to get something to drink. You realized Kyubin was also parched especially at night so you let him keep the mini fridge. He always kept it full but he was constantly drinking bottle after bottle of water. Especially after working out. Now you were glad for the mini fridge. Now he didn’t have to leave you for very long. You smiled as he came back with a towel in one hand and one of his t-shirts and a water bottle in the other.

Kyubin helped you sit up on the bed holding you close to him as he held the bottle up to your lips. You took a few sips and Kyubin cleaned you and him up a bit with the towel before he helped you into his shirt. He stopped and looked down at you before speaking. “How do you feel? There was a lot more blood than I thought there would be.”

“I’m okay Kyubin, just a little tired and I’ll probably be really sore soon.” kyubin pulled you into him and kissed your temple.

“You don’t have to get out of bed tomorrow okay? I’ll care take of you. Just relax right now. You did so good my love.”

Settling in Kyubin’s arms, his hand slowly rubbed the small of your back and went up to pet your head. He hummed and kissed your forehead while you melted into him. “I’m so proud of you y/n. I know that you were very scared and worried but you did so well. Thank you.” You looked up at Kyubin with a confused look on your face. Kyubin smiled and grabbed your hand intertwining his fingers with yours. “Because you finally had enough confidence and bravery to open up to me like this. Sex is very big and I know how you felt about it and how you were always so self conscious about getting intimate and I’m just so happy and proud of you for being at the point where you are ready and willing and I’m so glad that you have so much trust in me and that together we were able to explore ourselves and each other’s bodies and love in another way. I mean, for so long you would only let me kiss you cheek or forehead and then you started letting me kiss your lips and neck and touch your waist and thighs and now,” Kyubin paused, you heard him choke up. Sitting up to look at your boyfriend fully you were surprised to see his waterline becoming, well, water. Kyubin was crying and you had never really seen him cry. At least not at something like this. “I’m sorry I’m just, I mean..god y/n I am so fucking proud of you and so so happy that you trusted me enough to get this intimate with you and I just.” Kyubin allowed tears to fall from his eyes and you watched the clear drops roll down his beautiful cheekbones. He squeezed your hand as a way of letting you know he was alright.

For a long while you two just looked into each other’s eyes. Kyubin’s were red from crying but he was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your entire life. His beauty showed in more than one way and suddenly you were filled with so many emotions you started to cry. This only brought more tears into Kyubin’s eyes. “Oh Kyubin I love you.” You exclaimed quite literally throwing your arms around him. Your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his chest.

Kyubin’s arms gently wrapped around your waist, one hand on the small of your back to other petting your hair. “I love you too darling. I love you and I am in love with you and I always will be and I will never stop. Ever.”

JESUS FUCK I’m sorry if this was too long but boy I do be proud of myself indeed. I’m sorry Kyubin just makes me feel certain things. I hope anyone reading this enjoyed it uwu.

#onlyoneof #kb #kyubin #shin kyubin #onlyoneof fanfics #onlyoneof smut #onlyoneof fluff #kyubin fanfics #kyubin smut #kyubin fluff #shin kyubin fanfics #shin kyubin smut #shin kyubin fluff #kpop fanfics #kpop smut #kpop fluff #fanfics #smut #fluff

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lustbile-archive · 4 years

Text

In The Cards

HaechanxReader

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary/Warning: Smut. Best friend Haechan wants you to read his tarot :( warning! very beginner tarot knowledge. all card interpretations found on the app golden tarot

Request: can i request a bestfriend-to-lovers hyuck where he and the reader share their first time together?

This is the third installment of my week of halloween fics. Info about possible blurb night here

“Please?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird.”

“How is it weird?”

“Haechan seriously,” you finally turn to face him as you lay side by side on your bed, the pout and puppy eyes he wears on his face the exact thing you had feared to see as you knew he had his ways of convincing you no matter what, “you’re asking me to do a reading on your love life.”

“And how is that weird?” his voice pitches as he turns to mirror you, now with you both on your sides and your phones tucked under your respective pillows you have no choice but to stare into his warm eyes. His body is dramatically lax as he relaxes into the mattress, already ready to toss his body around obnoxiously if you decide to deny him again.

“You’re my best friend dude, it would be weird to see what the cards say about your possible romantic activities,” you were somewhat telling the truth. Yes, you thought it would be kind of weird to see what your cards had to say about his love life, the idea being weirdly intimate for you, but you also knew that there was a small part of you, an evil yet insecure little gremlin that had made a home in your heart a few months before, that would take whatever they say directly to heart. You never anticipated forming romantic feelings for the boy in front of you, actually when you and Haechan had first started getting close you stubbornly denied that something like that happening was possible, yet here you were stupidly infatuated with the boy who lays in your bed wrapped warmly in a worn hoodie with your heart trapped between his teeth, “that and I’m not even that good at doing readings yet.”

“An even better reason to do it,” he sits up with a jolt of energy making you return to your place on your back to watch him, “so even if you do my reading, like you said you’re not that experienced so we won’t take what they say to heart right? It can just be for fun.”

Your eyes squint in disbelief as you try to read the look on his face. Regardless of his words, you know it wouldn’t just be for fun. Haechan had made it kind of obvious on the few occasions that tarot readings, and things related to things of that nature, were brought up, that he truly did believe it. Haechan had a whimsy about him, a belief and willingness to believe in things outside of himself, things he couldn’t really explain, and usually you’d find it incredibly endearing, but now it just helped in raising your stress levels.

“Come on dude,” his head tilts back and his face scrunches as he tries to convince you, his determination unfortunately making a smile start to pull onto your lips, “I’m bored and the ambiance is way too sexy right now for us to not do some witchy shit.”

Again, like always, he was unfortunately right. It was late into the night, nearing 3 am, and a storm raged loudly outside. The storm being the exact thing that had locked Haechan in your room to begin with as it had knocked your power out an hour or so before the time he was meant to leave, so he had decided to stay instead. He had claimed it was because he didn’t want to bother with traveling in the storm, but you could easily pick out the softness behind his eyes when you casually mentioned not wanting to be alone in the dark.

Along with the steady storm, you had also gathered your collection of candles and scattered them lit around the room, that and the quiet sounds of Florence + The Machine and Fleetwood Mac playing from the small speakers connected to your phone only supported Haechan’s argument. You two had perfectly crafted the perfect atmosphere to ask questions to some other force, and you can’t help but kick yourself for putting yourself in such a position.

“Okay fine,” you finally respond hesitantly, a grimace on your face and you move to sit up as well. You hate the way your chest tightens at his reaction to your words, an excited jump bouncing him in the air as he leans over to the table you keep to the side of your bed. The idea that he just knows exactly where you keep your things dances tauntingly in your mind and you angrily push it down as you move to sit facing him with your legs crossed underneath you.

“Found ‘em,” he whispers as he rifles through the drawer, a quiet triumphant noise squeaking from his chest as he moves to sit back in front of you, mirroring the way you sit with a smug grin on his face.

“Shuffle them a couple times for me,” you say, motioning to the deck in his hands, and he does so immediately. His fingers work slowly and gently, the fear of damaging the deck floating around his form. He splits it a few times, shuffling them together in a neat stack before he hands them to you like a devious cat happily offering their owner a dead mouse, and you smile softly at his consideration for your things.

“I’m only gonna do a three card pull okay? Past, present, and future okay?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s cool,” he nods excitedly as he shifts around where he sits, his anticipation slowly gaining on him, “I’m cool with whatever.”

“Okay give me a question to ask while I shuffle,” you command, your hands holding the deck as you get ready to shuffle, “it can be as detailed or vague as you want, the cards should understand what we're asking.”

“I just wanna know…’’ he hesitates for a moment, his lips caught between his lips as he thinks, “love life I-.... hm… I guess I want to ask it to show me the path my love life will take.”

You only nod in response before your eyes fall closed. Your heart beat picks up and your hands shake slightly in your nervousness, but regardless you begin to repeat the question in your mind as your hands begin to move. ‘Show me the path of Donghyuck’s love life’ you speak to your cards as they dance between your fingers, your hands much more rough than Haechan’s.

His breathing is almost deafening as it's the only human sound that hits you as you work, and you hear it catch when your hands stop moving.

Your eyes open again, and with a deep breath you lean forward to spread the cards out in front of him in the shape of a fan, “pick three and put them in my hand,” you command again with your hand held out flat, “whichever three speak to you.”

“Okay,” he whispers, his fingers moving to hover over the cards and the way he holds himself he looks as if you’ve just asked him to take a standardized test. He jolts slightly before grabbing the card below his hand, and it's quickly placed on your palm. His reaction when picking the other two are not much different, and after a minute or two you have all three cards and you’re gently collecting and setting the remaining cards to the side.

“Okay,” you start as you shift to get in a more comfortable position, “we’ll start with past.”

He nods as you move to lay down the first card you were handed, the card revealing itself to be The Lovers, their naked bodies and the angel that lives behind them almost taunting you and making you tongue stick dryly to the roof of your mouth.

“Okay..” you trail off as you glance at the boy in front of you, his eyes going slightly wild at the sight of the card in front of him, “now present.”

Wanting to get out of the situation as quickly as possible, you lay the next card down, and before you now lay the two of cups. Another pairing of people to stare as you squirm.

“Finally,” you huff moving to lay down the last card, “future.”

With a soft thud, you place the card down, the naked woman that floats in the center of The World card is impossible to ignore. Haechan hums quietly in consideration, his head bobbing slightly as his eyes move across the spread before him. He looks pensive for a moment when he looks up at you, until a playful grin takes over his features.

“What does any of this mean?” he asks with a laugh.

“Well,” you start moving to grab the book you keep next to your pillow that hold the different descriptions of the cards, scolding yourself for still not having them memorized, “none of them are reversed so that that as a good sign, and none of them are The Tower so you’re not doomed to die alone I suppose.”

He laughs again as he watches you flip through the book, your eyebrows knitted together as you search for the first card.

“Okay so, your past is The lovers,” you start, one hand resting on top of the card as your eyes shift around the page, “it represents partnership, union, duality, and choice. This says it means a union of harmony, full of trust, confidence and strength, This relationship both a physical attraction and a deep emotional bond between them.”

You stutter slightly as you read, your eyes darting up to gage his reaction once the words leave your mouth, his face is soft but serious as he thinks, and you can’t help but get overwhelmed by the look.

“Okay, and then present,” you hand shifts to the Two of Cups while your other hand flips to the correct page, “this card means unity, partnership and two become one…” you trail off slightly, hoping Haechan only assumes it’s from you trying to read the page and not for the real reason that is the words in front of you makes you heart beat harshly against your chest, “signaling a union and partnership of balance, honor, and respect, The ancient symbol of the caduceus also suggests energy, passion, and sex, and the intermingling of opposite forces.”

“Oh,” he responds involuntarily as he absorbs the words you speak, and you can only wish that you could crawl into his mind and see exactly what he’s thinking.

“Okay and lastly, your future,” you shift again, your previous position suddenly not feeling comfortable anymore, “The World card represents fulfillment, harmony, and completion. It says, absolute unity, perfection, accomplishment that draws from inner and outer sources. This card signals the harmony of the inner and outer worlds, and reaching a level of enlightenment. An era of one's life is complete and there is joy and celebration that is coming to welcome it.”

With a soft smacking noise, you shut the book and place it back to its spot next to your pillow. Your words still linger in the air with a tension wrapped around them, and in your desperation to avoid Haechan’s eyes you begin to return the cards to the deck, a silent thank you being spoken in your mind as you thank them for their knowledge.

“So what do you think about that?” he asks, his voice softer than earlier, the tone making your eyes dart up to try and read the emotion on his face.

“It’s not about what I think Hyuck…” you place the hair tie that lives on your wrist around the deck to secure it and place it on top of the book, and when your done you lean back onto the palms of your hands to survey his body language while also creating more distance between you, “it was your reading so it’s your interpretation, what did that tell you?”

The words come out like you’re trying to cough up years worth of chewed gum and the way they clog your throat makes you feel weird. It may be up to his interpretation, but you can’t stop the way the cards and their meanings make you feel as they wrap a confusing combination of hope and terror around your fragile heart.

“I think,” he starts as he once again moves to mirror the way you sit, a soft but unsure smile on his face, “they told me exactly what I needed to hear.”

“And what was that Hyuck?”

“Well you know, the whole emphasis on partnership, and union, and choices. If anything i’m starting to think your cards like me a little bit cause they kind of told me exactly what I wanted to hear.”

“And what was it you wanted to hear Haechan?” you ask, his smugness and confidence making you laugh quietly.

“That I’m not putting my hope or my heart in the wrong place. I think it’s saying that I’m right in wanting the thing I want so badly.”

“Jeez Donghyuck,” you huff as you fall to lay back onto your side, a giddy feeling flooding you as he once again follows suit, “you speak in more riddles than the cards do.”

“Oh do you want me to tell you straight forward what those cards just told me?” he asks rhetorically as he lays close enough for his face to crowd you personal space, his breath occasionally hitting your skin.

“Well yeah, lay it on me Hyuck, what did those cards encourage you to do?”

“I’ll fucking lay it on you alright,” he doesn’t even give you the time to form the question in your mind of what he could possibly mean before he’s on the move. He’s on you before you can blink, his body pushing you onto your back and his hands landing against your bed next to your head and caging you in. Your body reacts before your mind does, and your hands are gripping his wrists and you legs are falling to the side to allow him to rest between your thighs, as he knocks the air from your lungs with his mouth pressing against yours.

You both let out matching hums in content at the feeling of each other’s lips. You’d call yourself a liar if you said you had never imagined what it would be like to kiss the boy that now rests on top of you, but no matter how many hours you had logged dreaming about the very moment, none of it prepared you for now.

He rests his body flush against yours as his lips work against yours, and there’s only a beat of time before his tongue is brushing against your bottom lip, begging for entrance.

You break away, the idea of him feeling the same way as you filling you with childish excitement and confidence, so much that you can’t stop yourself before you’re teasing, “so my cards told you to attack me?”

“Hush,” he pecks against your lips once before speaking again, “they told me I was completely in the right for being in love with my best friend, and that making a move would only end in happiness.”

“You’re in love with me?” you ask, those being the only words that stick in your mind, Your hands tighten around his wrists, and the skin of his face flushes in realization of what he said.

“Uh… yes,” his eyes are filled with his nerves as they lock onto yours. The internal debate he has with himself of wanting to tear his eyes away while being completely unable to is transparent and puts you at ease at the idea that he’s just as nervous as you, “I’m sorry if that’s really abrupt, but I really am.”

“Donghyuck,” you whisper, leaning up to nudge the tip of your nose against his, “I’m in love with you too.”

“Thank fuck,” he swears louder than intended, and you giggles of happiness is smothered by his lips latching to yours again.

There’s no asking this time as his tongue shoves its way into your mouth, and you let out a pleased groan when the moment he licks at the back of your teeth, his hips shift down and he begins to softly grind against the crotch of the thin fabric of your pajama shorts.

“Tell me,” he speaks between open-mouthed kisses that he places across you mouth and up your jaw, his words doing their own licking against the shell of your ear, “tell me if you want to stop, cause I don’t think I can.”

“I trust you Hyuck,” you whisper during the fleeting second that your mouth is free, “do whatever you want, I’m so in love with you.”

He groans loudly at the string of words that leave you, the noise cutting through and disrupting the smooth voice of Stevie Nicks and his body returns to rocking gently against yours.

Your hands trail away from his wrists, moving up his forearms and up until your fingers tangle in his hair. The slight tugging you give to his roots pulls another groan from his mouth, and the sparks of pleasure that hits your lower stomach at the sound combined with his hardening length pressing against you through the thick fabric of his sweatpants makes you feel like you could live in this moment forever.

You can feel your growing arousal spilling from you, the wetness making the fabric of your underwear stick to your skin, and at the feeling of him suddenly bumping gently against your clit makes you squeak as you hips begin meeting his thrusts with their own.

“Please,” you whimper out when his mouth latches onto the skin stretched over your jugular, “want it. Need you.”

“I’m gonna keep you up all night,” he growls the promise against your neck, “I have so much time to make up for.”

He sits up, a smile of pride on his face when you huff at the loss of him. You only get a few sounds of discontent out before his hands are grabbing at the fabric of your shorts, and shoving them down your legs, your ruined underwear following. The fabric is tossed behind his shoulder, and in his impatience, his hands are rough as they grab at your thighs. He pulls you, bringing you down the bed to be closer to him, before he’s pushing his own pants down to bunch at his hips, his tip brushing against you and making you jump as he slaps against his stomach.

You squirm as he returns to his place flush against you, both at the sudden feeling of the room’s air hitting your damp skin and the way his length glides against you. You can feel your arousal smearing against him, and in your desperation, you’re grabbing his face and pulling back down to meet your lips again.

Laying there, pressed as tightly together as you can be with your mouths devouring the other’s, you feel him reach between your bodies. His fingers only take a moment to dip into you, gathering your wetness on his fingers, before he’s using it to coat his length more than it already is.

He pulls at himself a few times, the moans he lets out at the friction being swallowed by you, before he’s pressing into you without warning.

The stretch and the idea of your best friend being the one that is so suddenly fucking into you has you reeling. You feel overtaken by the feeling of whiplash, and as he pushes into you inch by inch, you let out a moan that lived deep in your belly.

He pauses when he’s fully inside of you, the depth that he reaches as the girth of him making your eyes begin to roll wildly and before you can catch your breath his hips are retreating.

His pace is rough. He’s slow, and he doesn’t pull but a few inches out, but every time he returns to your body, it's a harsh thrust that knocks the air from your lungs.

It’s not long before you feel overwhelmed, the way the cozy heat from the candles and the thick fabric of his clothes as they brush against you licks at your skin and sinks you into the mattress. His mouth refuses to separate from yours, and his thrusts are consistent and unrelenting.

You’re sure you’ve never felt more held in your life as your wrapped up with your best friend, one of his hands moving to hold the side of your face while the other travels down to play with the sensitive nerves of your clit. The gentle way his hands move against you contrasted by the rough way he fucks into you has you clinging desperately to his hoodie as warm tears well up in your eyes.

One of your hands moves down as you get closer, your nails digging into the fabric that covers his ass as you desperately try to pull him closer than he already was. This and the way your hips start bucking against him makes him groan as you two get tangled in your sheets.

You feel the tingling warning of your orgasm running up your spine, a crackling moan feeding into his mouth from yours and the way you softly clench around him being his only warning before you come with a cry.

His hips stutter as he follows quickly behind, a very similar sound of bliss slipping from his mouth as you two begin to shake against each other.

You feel like you’ve been sewn into his skin as you twitch together with aftershocks, him equally as unwilling to separate his body from yours. Once he pulls his hand from between your bodies, his arms wrap tightly around your waist, and he pulls you tightly into his chest as he lays his full weight on you, and you legs wrap around him as you refuse to let him slip out of you.

“We’re going again in a minute,” his voice rasps as he presses his face into your shoulder, his nose nuzzling against the skin.

“Really?” You ask with a laugh as your hands return to their job of running through his hair.

“Yes I just need a minute,” he promises, and you shiver as his hips start to shift already without him even thinking, “it’s what your cards would have wanted.”

#nct smut #haechan smut #donghyuck smut #nct imagine #haechan imagines #kpop smut

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peach-pops · 4 years

Text

Amorentia || Kuroo Tetsurō

summary: amorentia has a different scent or aroma for anyone who smells it and the potion, if done correctly, can remind the user of things or more specifically someone they find most attractive, even if the said person is oblivious in their attraction.

word count: 3.1k

warnings: none

authors note: i dont know why i always end up writing for kuroo but this dude just speaks to me on an inspirational level ya know? kuroo is a ravenclaw in this but the reader is gn and i didn’t specify what house the reader is in to make it a bit more inclusive. credits to @rhymewithrachel for the picture of kuroo which you can find here and pls check out their page for more amazing art! also i def feel like i’ve written the last few lines on like another piece i’ve done but oh well if it isn’t broken, don’t fix it

The library was eerily still for a Thursday morning but you relished in how quiet it was. You had found the perfect sweet spot; not too late where you would forget breakfast but early enough to where you would avoid the morning rush of students who would try to find a quiet spot to study.

The lowly lit lanterns were useless since the sun was beginning to peak its way through the windowpane behind you and the small semblance of light drew your attention to the dust that was floating lazily in the air.

Even though there were hardly any students around you, you felt as though you were tucked away from the world as you spread your legs out against the leather couch with a Magic Potions: Basic for Beginners textbook settled in your lap. Besides the ever so often sound of a few students rustling their papers, it was truly peaceful.

“ Good morning beautiful, mind if I join you?”

Bloody hell.

You looked up from your textbook to see Kuroo standing over by your legs that were neatly crossed over each other. You would be lying if you said you weren’t slightly taken aback by seeing him so early in the morning but even if he did manage to wake up on time for class, his hair was still a disheveled mess from his horrid bedhead.

“ You’re up early,” You replied normally as you turned your attention back to your book,” by the way, your tie is crooked, might want to fix that, yeah?”

You and Kuroo were both in the same year but you two didn’t officially get acquainted until your fourth year when he had “accidentally” spilled butterbeer all over you and then attempted to wipe it off with his bare hand.

“ Shit, I-I am so sorry! Let me just-”

“ Can you stop feeling me up and get me a napkin instead, you creep?”

“ A creep? I’m nothing short of a gentleman- speaking of which, are you dating anyone by chance?”

“ Are you joking? As if I would be under the accompaniment of a clumsy Ravenclaw like yourself.”

Your vow was fully ignored and by some weird alignment of the planets, you two had been inseparable since. Of course, Kuroo still spent his time over the past two years trying to woe you in some way and while you used to find yourself flustered over his charm, you managed to get used to the constant flirting between the two of you.

Who were you kidding, the flirting was mostly one-sided unless you weren’t exhausted trying to think of witty comebacks to try and get him stumbling over his words like the first time you two met.

However, you weren’t blind. You were bold enough to admit to yourself that over the years, Kuroo got progressively wittier, taller, and yes, possibly more attractive. You would never admit it out loud but there was a slight possibility you were starting to see him in a different light.

Nonetheless, you figured feelings like those would just come and go, and surely you didn’t actually have feelings for him.

Kuroo looked down at his tie and shrugged nonchalantly before fixing it,” I was tossing and turning all night, poor Akaashi had to sleep in the common room because I was keeping him up too. Quidditch tryouts are this afternoon and I’m hoping we can get a strong team together so we can keep up our legacy.”

“ First-year as captain and you’re already nervous,” You clicked your tongue against your teeth as you took another bite of your raspberry scone, utilizing the silence between the two of you as you finished chewing,” hopefully Ravenclaw will get some wins this year. You know, for your own sake and my sanity.”

“ Okay ouch, first of all, you know you’re not supposed to eat in the library it’s forbidden,” Kuroo crossed his arms playfully over his chest as you only hummed in response,” and second of all, maybe if I had someone special cheering me on, I would do immensely better.”

You knew he was only being smug since you always showed up to his games but nothing was more entertaining than watching Kuroo practically gush over Quidditch only for you to act somewhat disinterested.

“ Aw, do you want me to show up with some blue and bronze paint over my face? Maybe even bring a poster with your name on it with little hearts decorated on the border because I have sooo much free time on my hands?” You teased as you played with your hair while pouting back up at him, relishing in the way he shifted from side to side,” honestly Kuroo, you know I have better things to do than to watch you fly around like a lunatic.”

Kuroo smirked to himself but said nothing to retaliate as he offered his hands to help you out of your seat once he saw the time,” Come on, you know Slughorn will throw another fit if we’re late again and by the looks of it, you can’t afford falling behind.”

For a moment, you thought that maybe you had gone too far. His response was almost disappointing in contrast to how he would usually retort with something wittier of the sort but it was out of your control now.

You closed your textbook and grabbed Kuroo’s hands so he could help you off the leather couch but once he got you up to your feet, his strong grip on your hands didn’t release.

Your chests were almost touching and the distance between you two was so small, you could distinctively smell his signature vanilla aftershave that he put on every morning. You looked down at your hands that were fitted perfectly against his as Kuroo leaned down close to your ear, his breath tickling your neck.

“ Don’t act so coy, Y/N. I know you would love nothing more than to wear my jersey so that everyone else could know you like me.”

You could feel the heat rise from your chest to your ears as you slipped your hands out from his to hold your textbook to your chest, as if it would cool you down. You fiddled with the spine of the textbook as a distraction as Kuroo smiled back innocently at you to give you time to compose yourself.

“ D-Don’t say things like that, you’re my friend and that’s all,” You stammered as you slapped his shoulder to make the tension less thick,” and wipe that grin off your face, you look like an idiot!”

Kuroo laughed, easing whatever tension was left in the air as he bumped your shoulder with his, “ Fine, fine, I’ll stop but only because you’re my special friend.”

“ You’re the worst.”

“ And you love it.”

“ Are you sure we’re doing this right?” You asked Kuroo as he sprinkled in the powdered moonstone while you stirred the concoction slowly.

You surveyed the room as you watched your fellow classmates fail miserably at the assignment at hand, some being greeted with thick clouds of smoke while others potions just combusted into flames.

You flinched at the sound of shrieking and looked up to see Sugawara and Daichi backing away from their cauldron as a mass of black tar started to slither out towards them. Slughorn had warned everyone that this potion was tricky to master but you didn’t think it would be this difficult and as time passed, the more anxious you grew.

Kuroo, as unbothered as ever, looked down at the instructions for a moment before turning his attention back at the cauldron,” Yep, triple checked it and everything. You sure are nervous today.”

“ I’m always nervous during this class, you know I’m awful at potions. Plus look what happened to Oikawa, he’s in the hospital wing because of this lab.”

“ He’ll be fine, the flames weren’t too high, he probably just lost an eyebrow,” Kuroo teased, trying to keep your mind at bay,” are you sure you’re not nervous because we’re concocting Amorentia?”

You continued to stir the mixture carefully as you only scoffed,” Why would I be nervous of a silly little love potion?”

“ First off, Amorentia is one of the most powerful love potions in existence so show some respect,” Kuroo said as you only rolled your eyes back at him,” And second of all, maybe you’re nervous because this will finally prove that you have feelings for me.”

“ Knock it off before I send you to the hospital wing nerd,” You replied hastily as Kuroo put his hands up in defense,” Are you sure you’re not the nervous one? You’ve been acting weird since class has started...like more mouthy than usual.”

If you didn’t know any better, you could’ve gone the whole lesson completely oblivious to Kuroo’s nervous tics, but after years of being friends, you knew better than to pass them off as normal tendencies.

Kuroo rubbed the corner of the textbook page between his fingers as his eyes read the directions over again to try and ground himself in his thoughts. He had re-read the same step of the last instruction for the past couple of minutes to look occupied but his facade was starting to fall apart.

“ If you paid more attention to the assignment instead of me, maybe you would pass the class, huh?” Kuroo smirked to try and ease your mind but the action only made you feel more annoyed.

“ Enough with this back and forth, are we almost done? You’ve been reading the last step for a while now, is it that hard or are you just stupid today?” You nudged Kuroo out of the way and bent your body over the table to read the last step, wanting nothing more than to get this class over with.

Kuroo watched as you began to stir the concoction slowly, his eyes trained on the top of the cauldron to watch for any sign of steam.

“ What color are the spirals supposed to be?” You asked as a dark, pink-colored steam started to slowly rise from the mixture,” did he say pink was right or purple? Maybe red I don’t even remember.”

Kuroo carefully leaned closer beside you to get a better look at the steam,”Looks right to me. You smell anything?”

“ The only thing I can smell is that god awful aftershave of yours so back up.”

You leaned your forearms on the table and took in a deep breath of the potion. Almost instantly, you felt a comforting warmth spread throughout your body that started in your chest and moved all the way down to your head and toes. You felt your body completely relax and it felt almost similar to the feeling of submerging yourself into a hot bath after a long day.

It would make absolutely no sense to describe the scents as something so oddly familiar and distinct while not being obvious at all yet that was where your headspace was as you tried to identify the scents.

Almost immediately, once you pinpointed one scent, the rest came flooding in one after another,” I smell something like cinder-a burning logfire...and....I know what this is it’s kinda like- oh, broomstick polish!”

You took into another deep breath to try and identify the last scent but you couldn’t put a name to the scent which only made you more frustrated.

“ Kuroo, can you help me? I can’t figure out the last scent,” You sighed as Kuroo closed his eyes to take a turn, even though he could already pinpoint a few scents from his spot,” do you smell the logfire too?”

Kuroo only smiled to himself as he felt the warmth spread across his body before shaking his head,” That’s not how it works. Our scents would be different for example, I smell…freshly clean linen, old parchment paper, and… butterbeer froth.”

Once the words left Kuroo’s mouth, he opened his eyes and turned to you to read your reaction. He looked for something, anything behind those eyes of yours to watch it all click in your head but as usual, you were completely oblivious to the huge hint he had given you.

“ Lucky you, I wish I could smell what you can- this is harder than I thought,” You pouted as you noticed some of your other classmates were getting distracted by you and Kuroo’s Amortentia,” maybe we did this wrong.”

“ We did it right, don’t worry,” Kuroo cleared his throat as he gave you a nudge with his shoulder which only made you nudge him back even harder,” maybe you should try again, think really hard. Try to see where you recognize the scent instead of what it is.”

You closed your eyes and just like before, the same warm sensation flooded your body but this time, you could feel yourself leaning closer and closer to the cauldron, almost as if the potion was pulling you in deeper.

“ Burning logfire, broomstick polish and…” You took in another deep breath but you were only meet with more frustration,” for the last time, can you give me some space, Kuroo? I swear all I can smell is your-.”

You opened your eyes and practically pulled yourself away from the table once an unsettling realization had started to develop quickly in your mind. You knew exactly what the scent was but there was that lingering sensation in your mind that still tried to convince itself that for once, maybe you were wrong.

Kuroo let out a breathy laugh as the back of your neck and ears began to grow hot,” Something the matter-”

Without thinking, you grabbed Kuroo’s collar and pulled him down to your eye level. Kuroo’s face started to grow red as you brushed your nose against the side of his neck to get a better smell. You had to be going crazy, there was no way- it all had to be a trick.

“ Are you sure we did this right? You’re absolutely positive?” You asked softly as you let go of his collar.

Kuroo smoothed out his collar and nodded as he looked back at the cauldron,”I’m absolutely positive- why are you freaking out?”

Because I smell your stupid vanilla aftershave.

“ I’m not freaking out,” You lied through your teeth as you turned your attention to Slughorn as he dismissed the class for the day,” You know what, I’m actually not feeling well- Can you clean up for me? I’m feeling a little lightheaded.”

“Y/N-”

“ I’ll see you around,” You gathered your things quickly but as you reached for your potions book, Kuroo snatched it off the table and held it behind his back,”enough Kuroo, give it back.”

“ Clean linen, parchment, and butterbeer froth,” Kuroo listed as you tried to grab your book from behind his back but Kuroo was quick to hold it above his head,”did you hear me?”

You looked up at how high he was holding your textbook and as embarrassing as it was, you decided to hold on to the little dignity you had left and not jump up and down for it.

“ Yes I heard you but I don’t care.”

“ You do care and you’re not listening to me. I smelled clean linen, parchment paper, and butterbeer froth so now it’s your turn, what did you smell?” Kuroo asked, this time a bit louder. It was obvious in the way he was enunciating his words that he was trying to lead you down a certain conversation but you were slow to pick up on it.

You didn’t want to tell him, all you wanted to do was go back to bed and pretend as though this day had never happened. The idea that all this time you actually had real feelings for Kuroo only made you feel flustered.

It wasn’t that you were ashamed of liking someone like him but for years, you had convinced him and seemingly everyone else that you would never have feelings for Kuroo. In reality, you couldn’t have been more wrong.

“ Do we have to do this right now?” You asked softly as you nodded over to Slughorn who was dusting the corners of his desk but it was obvious he was eavesdropping on the conversation.

Without missing a beat, Kuroo nodded and lowered your textbook back down to hand it to you.

“ You’re right, we should discuss this someplace quiet and private, how does dinner sound?”

You shook your head at the boy as you tried to grab your textbook from him but you couldn’t pry it off his strong grip,“ Quit flirting with me, now isn’t the time.”

Kuroo couldn’t take it anymore; the years of endlessly flirting and being ignored was taking a toll on his pride and he couldn’t stand it. He knew you were prideful but this was on a whole different level.

“ Now is the perfect time since now I know you like me after all.”

“ How- I do not-”

“ You’re a terrible liar Y/N, the aftershave was a dead giveaway and I don’t know whether or not I’m more hurt by the fact that you’re too embarrassed to admit you like me or that you think my aftershave is god awful,” Kuroo said as he loosened his grip on the book so you could take it from his hands,” aren’t you tired of pretending you don’t have feelings for me?”

You carefully took back your textbook as if it was a fragile vase and held it close to your chest as if you were shielding your heart.

“ For the record, I don’t think it’s god awful, I just think you put on way too much,” You mumbled as Kuroo stood up straighter,” and I’m not tired of pretending, maybe I don’t like you or maybe I do have feelings for you.”

“ But maybe you like me more than you dislike me, am I right?”

You opened your mouth but quickly closed it after thinking his words over for a moment,“Emphasis on maybe...but don’t let it get to your head. You get one date so don’t ruin it.”

Even though it wasn’t the confession Kuroo wanted, it was the only confirmation he needed to hear from you to let him know that the feelings were mutual.

Kuroo couldn’t help but wear a huge goofy smile on his face as he collected his things and followed your lead as you both started to walk out the classroom. You and Kuroo politely nodded and said goodbye to Slughorn, who was pretending to read the textbooks along the shelves.

Once you two left the classroom, Kuroo’s hand slide down beside yours and started to play with your fingers carefully. Your hand recoiled from the feeling but once you made sure the hallway was clear of any onlookers, you let your hand slide back down and let his fingers intertwine with yours.

“ You know, I knew you really liked me, I called it since day one-”

“ Okay, that’s enough Kuroo.”

“ You said and I quote,’As if I would be under the accompaniment of a clumsy Ravenclaw like yourself’ and look at you now, holding hands with one!”

You shook your head at him and wondered to yourself if this is how things would be now yet you still couldn’t bring yourself to hide the small smile on your face,”You’re the worst.”

Kuroo squeezed your hand in his and shared the same lovey-dovey grin on his face,” and you love it.”

taglist: @goopyartiste, @sugas-sweetheart, @kirislut, @estridries, @hannahalanib1, @art0saurus, @shoutamajiki, @yee-harr, @animatedarchives

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu hogwarts au #haikyuu hogwarts #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo scenario #nekoma x reader #nekoma hogwarts #kuroo headcanon #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsuro headcanon #kuroo tetsuro scenario #tetsuro kuroo x reader #tetsuro kuroo scenario #tetsuro kuroo headcanon

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bebepac · 3 years

Text

Ri-Liamo de Bergerac (Happy birthday Zoehanji )

Happy birthday @zoehanji !!!!!

Original Post date: 04/27/21 at 9:52PM EST (4/28 where you are celebrating your birthday!!!)

I have no idea when we started talking but we did, somewhere in the beginning of my writing journey on this site. Even though I still consider myself to be a beginner here. Thank you for being my friend and being a fellow long distance cousin, as our relative in common would be Drama Whore! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I hope you enjoy this. I know that Fast Forward has always been one of your favorites.

The Book: TRH and Beyond

Pairing: Liam x Riley / Maxwell x Taylor (Maxwell x F!OC)

Warnings: Sexual Innuendo and fluff.

Word Count: 1889

Summary: Maxwell and Taylor go on their first date. Both are nervous and ask Liam and Riley for an assist.

A/N: This is a little similar version of Cyrano de Bergerac, not in the take that someone has a big nose, no one does, but the aspect of someone getting help in a conversation by using someone else’s words. I did ask around to see if anyone had done something similar to this. No one recalled of a similar story, so any similarities to anything currently on the fandom is completely unintentional.

I also used @theworldofprompts prompt: "All my life I've been searching for an answer as to where I belong. Then I met you and everything changed. You treated me like I deserved to be treated and you made me feel like I had a home. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you." which will appear in bold.

Song inspiration for this. I heard this song while i was desperately needing to calm down while i was listening to the calm station on my pandora and I came across this song and enjoyed it so, so here it is for you all to enjoy too. I feel like it has a little sweet nervous energy, but then the music builds like you’re getting used to being with someone. it’s truly a beautiful piece.

First Love by Yiruma

I don’t own rights to the music. But i’m quickly becoming a Yiruma fan. Every song was amazing that i heard today and it had such a unique feel. I could pick them when they started playing on pandora.

Riley raised her eyebrow at Maxwell. She saw him pacing nervously as he kept glancing in Taylor's direction. Taylor was completely oblivious as she had her nose buried in a book she'd gotten from the estate library.

Finally Maxwell had psyched himself up. He walked over to Taylor sitting in the lawn chair next to her.

"Hey Softie."

Taylor put down her book, as did Ellie as she was sharing the oversized lounge chair in the sun with Taylor. Both lifted their sunglasses to their hair.

"Lord Playlist?"

"So I was wondering if you want to have dinner tonight."

"Silly Uncle Maxwell, we eat dinner every night." Ellie confirmed matter of factly.

"What Riley Jr. said." Both Taylor and Ellie picked up their books again, sliding their glasses back to cover their eyes.

Riley laughed to herself. Oh my God Taylor she thought. She is absolutely adorably clueless.

Liam laughed softly. He gently rubbed Riley's stomach.

"Aren't you glad we're married? We don't have to do that."

"You were never like that."

Liam blushed. "I felt like that when I talked to you the first time. I don't even remember what I said on the street to you. I was so dumbfounded by your beauty."

"You don't remember me being so awkward, Liam?"

Liam shook his head. "You… were perfect, is all I remember, My Love."

A light blush hit Max's cheeks.

"What I meant Softie, was you and me alone, away from the estate."

Taylor slowly lowered the book again, her eyes slowly meeting Maxwell’s.

"So like a date?"

"I mean date is a strong word, but it could be an accurate one. Two people dressed nicely eating food together at the same table. I mean I'm not opposed to the idea if you are."

"Auntie Taylor likes food, and to dress nicely. You should see Auntie Taylor's dress for the ball. I picked it!!!!!"

"Excuse me Miss Crown Princess read your book."

"So… whaddya say Softie? Dinner tonight?"

"Sure. Riley Jr. nailed it pretty much."

"Great! I'll meet you out front at seven."

Great."

"I swear this baby likes to just sit in there and poke my bladder for fun." Riley tried to roll out of the lounge chair she was on. “A little help Liam?”

Liam immediately jumped up to assist Riley to her feet.

"You just went thirty minutes ago."

"You tell your daughter that."

Liam affectionately rubbed her stomach, kneeling to plant a soft kiss on it.

"Little One be nice to Mommy. She has kept you safe all this time and we still have a few weeks to go. Let Mommy relax.."

Riley had stepped out of the lavatory only a few steps when Taylor descended on her like a ninja.

"Jesus Christ! Taylor you almost scared the crap out of me, and the way this baby has my bodily functions out of whack it could have legit happened!!!"

“Ew. Riley. Gross. Another reason I won’t procreate. Did you see, Maxwell asked me out!!!! On a date!!!!"

Riley laughed. "Because he likes you, and you like him."

"What are we going to talk about alone?!?!"

"You guys talk, and you are texting back and forth all the time."

"We talk in a group Riley. All Me and Maxwell do via text is meme war each other."

“Huh?”

"Our whole texting conversation… nothing but memes!!!"

She swiped on Maxwell's conversation in her phone it was nothing but pictures.

"It's okay, I'll get an ear piece set from Nico, and help you.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Of course I would. Can’t have your first date with the guy you like nothing but uncomfortable dead air.”

“Thanks Ri. Can you keep this between us?”

“Sure! Do you need help picking an outfit for tonight?"

"Nope, with the outfit, you kind of already did when you gave me my new wardrobe. If I can’t pick from there, I’m truly an idiot."

Little did Riley and Taylor know Maxwell and Liam were having a similar conversation.

“Liam I didn’t think she would really say yes!!! She said yes!!!! She said yes…..”

Then it looked like the gravity of the situation crashed into him. Maxwell looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Calm down Maxwell. Taylor likes you. It’s easy to tell from the trained eye. She lets down her guard around you.”

“What are we going to talk about? I can’t talk about peacocks all night. Or Memes. She’ll think I'm a complete buffoon. I don’t even have reservations anywhere. I asked her on a nice date and I don’t even have reservations ANYWHERE!!!! What am i going to do?!?!?!

Liam grabbed Maxwell by the shoulders. “Get a hold of yourself man!!!! And take a breath, your face is turning blue.”

Maxwell took a few cleansing breaths.

“Don’t worry about the reservations, I can handle that. It’s good you are friends with the King and Queen. And for conversation I can got it. I’ll get an earpiece from Bastien, and you’ll be fine.”

“Don’t tell Riley. She still hasn’t let go about the fact of my baby hippo tattoo.”

“Nor will I thank you for reminding me of it.” Liam laughed loudly.

Maxwell and Taylor left on their date. Both Liam and Riley made excuses to not be in the other’s company for the evening.

Both Liam and Riley were pleasantly surprised being a whisper in someone’s ear how well the night was going. Both couldn’t stop thinking about how natural the moments between the two of them felt, and how perfect they were for each other.

“I can’t tell you enough Taylor how beautiful you look to me tonight. And I know you’ve had trouble seeing yourself that way when it comes to that word. But you are Taylor.”

She heard her sister softly gasp. Tears filled Riley’s eyes.

Tell him Thank you, and that you wanted to look nice…. For him.”

Taylor parroted her words.

Taylor starred at the menu. None of it was in English and she had no idea what any of it meant.

I wish I had your eyes right now Riley. Taylor thought.

The conversation was sweet and romantic. It was the perfect date. Maxwell reached across the table taking Taylor’s hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

“Yes.”

As they danced, Taylor started relaxing in Maxwell’s arms.

“You know I have a hard time sharing my emotions sometimes. All the time..”

“I know. And that’s okay. We can take this slow. There’s no rush Softie.”

This felt familiar to Liam.. Too familiar. He knew those words…..her words.

Riley felt the same way but she couldn’t be sure.

Both had gotten up from their desks to investigate to see what the other was up to.

Taylor had never felt like a moment was so perfect and what Riley said, she really felt in her heart.

"All my life I've been searching for an answer as to where I belong. Then I met you and everything changed. You treated me like I deserved to be treated and you made me feel like I had a home. I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose you."

“Riley?” But she had the feeling, it wasn’t Maxwell’s question.

Taylor pulled away from Maxwell.

“Liam?”

Liam and Riley stared at each other in the hallway.

He touched her ear feeling her ear piece and she touched his, feeling the same.

“I knew it was you.” They both said in unison.

“I could feel your heart Riley, through the words even though it wasn’t you saying them.”

“I could feel you too.”

From the earpieces they could hear Liam and Riley kissing and the sounds of commotion.

“Bedroom, now?” Liam's voice deep, rumbling with desire and need.

“YES LIAM!" Riley cried out.

"OH GOD!" Taylor shrieked.

Both Maxwell and Taylor ripped out their earpieces.

“Well that escalated quickly.” Max cleared his throat looking at their earpieces that were laying on the table. “Won’t be using those for the rest of the evening.”

“Why did you think you needed help on the date Maxwell?”

“Because I’m awkward, when I’m around you.”

“No you’re not. You’re funny, and really nice. I’m the awkward one. I don’t know how to do this normally. I’ve never had a healthy romantic relationship before.”

“That’s okay. I haven’t been in many relationships before either. We can learn together.”

“So can I be honest with you? I have no clue what the hell I ordered. This place is nice but it’s too much for me. I’m guessing it was Liam’s idea? Can we go somewhere else?”

“I know just the place.”

Maxwell and Taylor left that restaurant, and when they got to the second place, Taylor’s smile widened.

“Now stop me Softie if you’ve ever heard this one, a dashing noble wearing a squid tie with an affinity for peacocks, and a Queen of Cordonia lookalike walk into a bar…….”

Date one for Maxwell and Taylor part two was them dressed up like they were going to the ball, eating burgers and drinking cheap Cordonian Beer, playing pool. And it was perfect.. For them.

No. Dead. Air. Conversation flowed easily between the pair.

“Wow. I can’t believe the earpiece stayed in.”

“You don’t think they heard anything did they?”

“I’m sure they probably took them out.”

"Can I ask you something?"

He could hear the slight sadness in Riley's voice. "Sure, you can ask me anything."

"Do you think I'm cool?"

Liam laughed out loud but abruptly stopped when he saw the look on Riley's face.

"Of course you are Riley."

"Then why is Ellie my sister's shadow right now? Why do I feel like she wants nothing to do with me?"

"Riley… it's not that. This pregnancy has been rough on you. You know how active our children are, and how active you were with them. Even while you were pregnant. Well….Taylor fills that spot for what you aren't physically able to do right now. Before it was me. I think you notice it more now because it is her.. But yes, it is clear Ellie adores Taylor. They have bonded and really love each other. “

"It was just so hard when I came back from California Liam. She hated me."

"She didn't. She loved you, and it was my doing that put a wedge between you and her. She was hurting Riley. I did that to her. Not you. I’m sorry for that."

“It’s okay Liam.”

*^*^*^*^*^* Breakfast next day *^*^*^*^*^*^*

“How was dinner last night Taylor?” Riley asked.

“It was great. We went for Burgers and beers.”

“That’s nice.”

Liam lightly cleared his throat.

“So……..”

“We didn’t hear anything. We both ripped our ear pieces out when we heard where things were heading.”

“Riley you’re about to pop, how is that even aerodynamically possible right now?!?!?!”

“Oh it’s possible!” Liam chuckled. “God yes it’s possible.”

“Taylor it’s like when the amusement park is about to close and you want to get on your favorite ride one last time. Even if you’ve had too much food and you’re full and you might throw up. You got to get on that ride one more time.”

“You went to a carnival Mommy?”

“No, she just went on a royal scepter ride. God did I say that out loud?” Taylor slapped her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my God!!! Can we change the subject now please?” Liam inquired, beads of sweat were forming on his face.

“Yes please because this conversation went incredibly awkward!”

Riley laughed looking around the table. The adults looked like they wanted to climb out of their skins and her children looked either confused or unaware of what was happening.

Tags in the Comments!!!

#bebepac writes #birthday fics #happy birthday zoehanji #trh fanfic #trh fandom #liam and riley #maxwell x taylor #fast forward #the world of prompts #choices fic writers creations

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xiaowhore · 2 years

Note

this is super random, but i noticed your pinned post is almost a year old,, im not really sure when exactly you’ve started your writing blog, but i presume it should be around this given timeframe so,, *deep breaths* here it goes

hi mao :> i think we’ve known each other for around 4 months now? lmao its funny how i still remember the first time i reached out to you, asking for advice on how to write better while i was a beginner,, during that period, i’ve never actually talked to anyone on tumblr, but i sincerely admired the way you wrote and i saw you as this really amazing person,, so i kind of thought, fuck it, i’ll just send her an ask and tell her how much i like it *cries in nonexistent social skills*

i don’t know when it started, but i think the more i sent mails, whether to ask you something or just randomly gush about shit, i just naturally looked forward to your responses because it was so nice to finally talk to someone on this app — and then i slowly began to realize that you weren’t just this great writer or artist who had a fucking fantastic way with words…you were just a person like everyone else. an equal with me, yet an undeniably nice one at that.

i seriously consider you as a great friend! we don’t always talk much and usually only communicate through asks, but it’s already enough for me to know that you’re doing okay \^.^/ you’ve been nothing but kind since we first talked, and maybe you think it’s only natural to be so, but it genuinely means a lot to me (and im certain others feel the same way about it too)!

to me, you have always been a generally cool and interesting person to associate with, and im super grateful to have met you :)) it hasn’t been long, but talking with you for me has been a fun experience! although it’s only virtual, and at the end of the day not everyone really knows each other irl — i hope you still realize how much we all truly appreciate you, even if you don’t always hear it enough <3

you’re a great person mao, really! i sincerely wish nothing but the best for you, and even better things to come :)) and if you’re comfortable with it, i hope we can also become closer friends too >.< *cries in nonexistent social skills pt. 2*

anyway, that’s all hehe *dies inside why am i so bad at this* hhh im really sorry for clogging up the inbox and the message becoming so lengthy T_T but again, happy one year bestie! here’s to the wonderful days and memories you’ve made, including so much more for you to come <33

damn it zaly you're too sweet oh my god you're killing me

i... know that im quiet, not the kind of mutual that can pop up in your inbox regularly, so im honestly......... really touched that you think of me as a friend.... even though im like this... i feel guilty every time someone tries to reach out to me and i cant do the same for them, way too inactive on social media cuz im preoccupied with other things, so messages like these really..... hh

i dont know if you actually know how much i appreciate you just occasionally sending asks??? asking how im doing?? you're too nice for me i swear. (also i find it funny you asked me for advice even though i think your writing's so much better and magical- i followed you the instant i sped through your blog haha)

i love seeing your posts on my dashboard on the times i log in!! i always read them, whether it be fics or snippets of your daily life, and im... embarrassingly... too shy to even send a simple "i hope you have a good day" or "good luck in your test" or "omg this fic you posted was fantastic!!" though i do hope you're doing well...

aaaa what is this ramble

nevertheless- i'm truly lucky to have met someone as kind and amazing as you... it means a lot to me that you send messages like this. it was such a surprise to see this in my inbox!! which makes me feel more horrible i didn't answer sooner oh my god i am so sorry

it's been one year for me yet i didn't think anyone would notice...... but from here on out, i hope we talk more bestie :)) i'd love to be closer friends!!!!

#mail — !#FUCK i am so awkward but #pls know im very grateful #sorry im just so- *struggling*#*sends finger hearts to hopefully convey what im feeling*

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fuckthesworld · 4 years

Text

CLINGY 《 STILES STILINSKI x READER 》 PART THREE

Warning: Jealousy, angst and fluff.

Summary: She goes on a ride with Dean. Stiles keeps a distance from her but his eyes were burning with fire. Jealousy takes over him leading to a fight between them.

It would be a lie to say that Y/n didn’t enjoy the ride. It was peaceful and Dean didn’t miss a chance to make her laugh. Well ofcourse she almost fell two darn times for speeding up her cycle, trying to beat Dean. But, overall she seemed happy and the nature did keep her happy.

It reminded her of the Woods…all the animals and the breeze and..Stiles. Well.um..she didn’t quite forget about him. At the back of her mind, it continued to pinch her. But she decided to concentrate on her surroundings rather than someone who didn’t appreciate her company. There were trees around, breeze making her hair flow back, the birds chirping around, a shiny golden quiet afternoon and a laughing crazy Dean.

Things were going nice. She felt happy.

“Woooohoooooooo!!” She yelled.

Try and beat me Y/n!!!“ Dean shouted.

“IS that a challenge?!!” She shouted from the back.

“YES!!!” He said speeding up his cycle.

Dean sped up and was before her, and they heard a honk from the behind. She looked behind and saw a car..Roscoe. She moved aside as her thoughts began to move all over the place, and that’s when she realized. Dean decided to come cycling this way and this is where the Pack are gonna have their picnic. She quickly tried to hide her face when she heard a yell.

“Y/N!!”

Ofcourse. I AM LATE AS ALWAYS GODDAMMIT. She looked beside her, trying hard to smile but ending up with a weird face.

“H-Hey Lydia!” She said.

“Are you going this way?!” Lydia yelled.

Y/n stuttered but was interrupted when Dean yelled, “You are losing Y/n! If I win I want a kiss!!!”

She felt the color of her cheeks rising when she realized that not only the Pack heard that BUT Mr Stilinski and Mrs McCall HEARD IT TOO. Ugh Dean can be reaallly annoying at times.

“Oh.” Allison giggled “It will be nice if you lose this race.”

Y/n smiled and took a peek inside, hoping to see Stiles, but he was turned around towards the right side of the window.

Wow, he didn’t even look at me. I mean atleast a hi would have been nice after his conversation with them. Sigh, looks like he is right. I am the one who is missing him. “Well um, you guys need to speed up. Hey Dean!! Move aside!!”

“Enjoy Y/n!” Scott shouted before they sped their car and were almost out of sight.

She stopped when Dean smirked and came beside her.

“Tell me this wasn’t the reason you planned the cycling for.”

“Not at all. If you remember then I asked you about the cycling before all those things happened.” He laughed when you glared at him “Okay, maybe the destination changed.”

“And?”

“And the competition…so that we can reach there faster.” Y/n gave him the cold look.

“Ugh, I am not going there.” Y/n said turning her bicycle around. Dean held her hand and said, “YOU said you are up for a challenge, so I just leveled it up darling.”

“Leveled it up?! I didn’t even pass the beginner’s level and you decided to surprise me with the EXPERT LEVEL!! Dean what is wrong with you?! You are supposed to help me!”

“Oh I freaking am. See, the more you are around him, the more you will get used to him and then eventually all the hard feelings will be vanished just like ‘poof!’” He said.

She sighed, “It’s too much for the first day. You don’t understand how I feel.”

“I do. You…you are the one who supported me when she left me. Turned me into a fuckboy .”

Y/n smiled and said, “Yeah, I suppose. But wait, are you trying to turn me like a slut?”

“You? A slut? Oh trust me, you can’t do that even if I tried.” He laughed.

There was a moment of silence. “So..you feel good enough to turn around and continue cycling?” She just nodded her head.

“But please tell me we will be out of their sight.” Y/n said starting to cycle back to the park.

“Whatever is comfortable for you darling.” Dean said.

*Time Skip*

The Pack were all a giggling mess. They were whispering and occasionally looking at Stiles

“Will you guys stop that?” Stiles snapped, irritated of everything.

“Will YOU stop that? What is that behavior? We are going for a picnic STILES, we are supposed to be like this. Laughing and happy and not grumpy like you.” Issac said.

“Enough kids. No fighting. We are here.” Noah parked the car nearby while the others took out the food and mats.

Stiles wasn’t sure why was he upset. He was confused. Yes, he kind of expected Y/n to arrive and be with them in this picnic. Maybe he is upset because of this. She could be arriving here in this spot with that nosy Dean, then that would mean they will be together in the picnic right? Then why wasn’t he okay by now? I mean everyone will be there along with Y/n…and why was he upset with all the giggling and how Dean shouted about the kiss?

“Hey.” Scott nudged him.

“Oh. What were you saying?”

He laughed and said, “I didn’t say anything!”

“Oh..I was just..”

“Thinking about Y/n?”

“Ye–uh no no.”

“Come on bro you know you can tell me.”

“I don’t know..It’s just that..I don’t know why I am feeling angry. I mean, Y/n is gonna be here I guess and then I can apologise for everything but still something feels wrong.”

“Oh..don’t worry, you’ll figure it out. But if you ask me, then I will say you are just jealous to see them together.”He mischievously smiled and said.

“What?”Stiles looked at him.

“Coming!!!” And ran away to Allison who was standing with a volleyball, preparing herself to play.

Stiles sighed and ran towards them, hoping his mood will be fine at the end of the day.

*Time Skip*

*Tring Tring*

Stiles looked back. And there she was. Smiling and laughing. And her hair perfectly flo– His thoughts got interrupted.

“HEY LOOK OUT!! There’s a bird pooping above you!” Y/n looked up and Dean took the opportunity to overtake her and he turned back. “I win.”

“HEY! That’s cheating!” She laughed.

Oh she definitely wanted this. Ofcourse she wants to kiss him. She is not even looking at me! We are clearly loud enough for her to hear! Stiles looked at how they both perfectly parked their bicycles next to each other like..like darn couples.

And he suddenly felt a sharp pain on his shoulder. “Ow!!” He yelled.

“You need to be present in the game physically AND mentally Stiles!” Issac smirked.

“I-I am!!” He blushed. Y/n now looked at him. His face was red.

She walked over the green soft grass and finally settled down under a tree, a little away from them. She looked at Mr Stilinski , who was present there and pouring some tea and drinking it.

“Watching your father-in-law?” Dean laughed sitting beside her, their shoulders touching.

She kicked his legs lightly and smiled “It’s not funny.”

“It made you laugh. Kinda is then.”

“Make Stiles laugh and I’ll agree with you.”

“Naaaah. Atleast I can peacefully flirt with you now. Although he is literally trying to burn me to ashes right now.” He chuckled.

Yes, Stiles was playing, but his complete attention was towards Y/n. His jaw locked, eyes frequently moving back and forth from her to Dean, how dangerously close those two were sitting.

“What? Really?” She said turning her head to look at him but then Dean cupped his hands on her face trying to block her view. “Wha–”

“Don’t look. The method is working.”

“What??”

“WHy can’t you just shut up for a second?”

“WHy can’t you just answer my questions?”

“This is the time. Kiss me.”

“Wait what? Woah Dea–” As she went on to remove his hands, the ball came rolling near Dean’s feet.

“Don’t wanna interrupt you two but can you pass the ball?” Allison giggled.

“Hey Y/n!! Join us!” Lydia yelled.

“Uh..s-sure! Sometime later! I promise! I have a company you see!” She said pointing at Dean.

Stiles chest tightened and he huffed, “Yeah!! You can enjoy with him!” He furiously walked to them, picked up the ball and said, “We are absolutely happy over here! Please don’t ruin our mood!”

Y/n now snapped. Enough is enough. She stood up while Dean quietly sat and watched the drama, a grin on his lips. “What is wrong with you! Why are you acting like this?! Have I done something now to irritate you? No right? Then why don’t you go back to your business!”

The Pack went to sit with the elders giving a little privacy to the both.

“What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you! All these days you are with me and-and spend your time with me and suddenly today you show up with some damn neighbour!”

“Well Miecyzslaw the world doesn’t revolve around you! I prefer spending my time with people who actually loves my clinginess and not lie about how they are enjoying with me, when they are actually not!”

Stiles went quiet for a while. “But I thought you only did this with me.”

“What?”

“I am really sorry. I didn’t mean those at all. I said those to make Scott and Allison shut up. Those just came out of anger. I missed you. I thought you sat like that only with me. I thought you laughed like that only with me. I thought you hugged like that…only with me. I never thought that..that you will…I always thought those moments belonged to me.” He said eyes locked with hers.

“But Sti you said you didn’t like that.” Her voice softened.

“I do, your every little gesture makes me happy. I love spending time with you. You are the only one who can make me smile and who truly understand me when.the Pack fails to do that.”

Y/n smiled and blushed. “I love you Sti. I did for a long time. You never..never really made any move to make me understand anything. I know that you may not love me like the way I do but…I need to let these out. I can still be your friend but, there will be changes in our friendship then.”

Stiles was quiet for her sudden confession. “I understand.” She smiled. Fighting back the tears, she turned around. Why did I do that?!

She suddenly felt a strong pull and they were kissing. It took a moment for her to realize what just happened. She smiled and kissed him back immediately, her hands going on the back of his neck, tugging his brown hair lightly, finally letting out the tears forming on her eyes. His hands went down to her waist pulling her closer to him. The kiss was full of love and force–needy, strong and passionate. All the emotions suppressed between them starting pouring out.

“Uhh…I appreciate your lovely moment of sucking each others faces but being her best friend, it really looks gross.” Dean interrupted.

They pulled from each other with a red face and smile on their lips. They looked back and saw the Pack smiling and giving him a thumbs up .

“Oh no.” She blushed and hid her face on his chest, while he hugged her, “I really am clingy.”

MASTERLIST

#stiles stilinksi x reader #void stiles #stiles stilinski #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan obrien imagine #dylan obrien fluff #mieczyslaw stilinski #teen wolf pack #teen wolf pack imagine #teen wolf #teen wolf imagine #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinski fluff #dylan obrien #dylan o'brien smut #stiles stilinski smut

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gaylien51 · 3 years

Text

So this is the first chapter of my story. I’m a beginner writer so if you have any advice feel free to share.

Baron Draxum watched all his precious work go down in flames. The heat overwhelmingly and the fire still roaring. CRASH! Another part of the roof collapsed bringing even more damage. He cursed his now forever enemy Hamato Yoshi. As he begun to walk away from the ruins of his previous lab he thinks of how his lab was destroyed.A prisoner of big mama that he had his loyal gargoyles bring to him for his highly anticipated experiment of creating the perfect soldiers to rain hell upon the vile humans that lived above. The experiment consisted of 4 turtles, a red eared slider turtle, a snapping turtle, a soft shell turtle, and a box turtle. He looked down in his hands to see a small box turtle, the last of his experiments. “ You shall become the perfect soldier, the perfect success, you will be the downfall of humans, the rein of pure terror as everyone kneels down to our almighty power!” Achoo! He looked down at the box turtle in disgust. Ugh germs- and from a mutant turtle no less. He felt pressure on his fingers as he looked down to see the experiment nuzzle into his hands happily cooing and smiling at him. “There is much much much work to be done little one” he expressed with tiredness in his voice.

“ Uhhhh sir, no offense but your mortal enemy who you called us to capture because of his awesome fighting skills, ninjutsu and all that, has destroyed your lab place, burned it down to the ground, escaped with the 3 other turtles, and is most likely mutated into a rat and will raise the 3 other turtles if they survived, and will most likely prep himself over the years to come and fight you, has completely and utterly destroyed your work, soooooooooo where we living?”. Baron looked at the gargoyle on his shoulder (which he solemnly forgot about) and wore a frustrated and pinched expression as he explained the obvious. The other gargoyle on his shoulder also looked at him waiting for an answer to their question. Frustrated, tired,angry, and annoyed Baron Draxum argued in his head if he should kill them for their very annoying existence. “ We will rebuild our laboratory starting from the ground up and prepare experiment 42005 for his long and successful journey of destroying the humans!” He answered with determination. “ As for now we will visit the yokai city and remain there for the time being” he added. Both gargoyle looked at him and shrugged satisfied with the answers. “ hey as long as me and Muninn have a place to stay we’re a-okay with your plan boss man!” replied the gargoyle on his left shoulder. “ what huginn said!” Munnin, the gargoyle on his right shoulder said.

So Baron Draxum, Munnin, Huginn, and the experiment 42005 began their trek to yokai city and onwards to their journey of the destruction of the humans.

CRASH! Baron hurried out of bed and into his kitchen to see his experiment trying to cook breakfast for himself. Tiredness dripped in his voice as he asked “ Little one when I said you must learn survival skills such as cooking, I did not mean to make a mess of the kitchen” his racing heart calmed seeing his son on the counter unharmed but dirty with flour all over his clothes. Which was also on the counters and tables- and how did pancake mix get on the ceiling? All over the kitchen causing quite a mess.

“ I’m sorry da- I mean sir, I was trying to create a acceptable meal for us today but it didn’t go over quite well” replied his son with disappointment and frustration. “ Just make sure to clean this up and meet me in the lab for your training... we will eat cereal so you may have your breakfast”. Internally experiment 42005 groaned at just the thought of eating bland boring old nutritional rations that his dad called cereal. As his dad continued to walk away from him he quickly and expertly cleaned up his mess frustrated at his failed attempt at cooking. Usually he was quite good at this and created the best meals with whatever was stocked in the pantry but his mind was distracted with thoughts of what he’ll do today and this resulted in the mess before him. But he decided to not think too hard about it and stored those thoughts away and quickly finished up. He ran to the lab through the dark and creepy decaying hallways all colored the same dull gray and rusted. He then saw his dad and the left out “cereal” for him and proceeded to make his way to the table with the laid out food and sit and eat it hurriedly. His father in the background working on many technologies to improve their home and for his patrols.

“42005 today is your 13th birthday” his father said suddenly. 42005 stood up from his chair standing tall and proud as he’s always done since he can remember. “As you know I have been preparing you since birth to destroy the vile humans that live up above, the disgusting creatures who forced us down here into yokai city, making us soft, and stealing the surface from us, and- yadda yadda yadda I know dad you’ve been saying this since my birth!” Interrupted his son. Looking at him with a disgruntled expression he stared into his sons eyes as his son stared back. “Ha you blinked! I win” his son said with smug. “ENOUGH!, experiment 42005 you will listen to me! You know I hate interruptions!”. His son cowered a bit internally but did not show it out of fear for punishment. “ Yes sir, I apologize “ he said solemnly. Satisfied with his answer he continued on his rant about vile human as his son mentally bored with the same discussion hes heard again and again and waited for him to finish. “And that is why human are disgusting and you will go on to destroy the- Are you listening to me?!l he yelled. Startling his son out of his short nap. He sighed with dissatisfaction and drag his hand over his face. “ Proceed to training with Munnin and Huginn and the foot bots, later today we shall proceed with your far more intense training and then patrol will happen is that understood?”. 42005 flinched very subtly at the mention of the clan but replied yes and proceeded to go train. The training room was a stimulation his father made that can produce whatever needed. 42005 chose footbots this time as some early practice while waiting for Munnin and Huginn. He tried desperately to bury himself in his training tearing foot bot after foot boy apart with his mystic kusari fundo the fire ball shrieking wildly as their enemies were torn apart. He had started to train with the foot clan when he was 4 and learned quickly how cruel they were. Every mistake he made he was punished for severely. His scars aches just thinking of it. Burning, drowning, poisoned , whipped, and many other methods of torture he had to induce upon people or else he would be punished instead. They told him this was the way of the clan and that it was effective for enemies.They silenced him quickly with threats to not tell his father unless he wanted even more punishments. At age 4 42005 learned what the word discipline truly meant and when to enforce silence. He grew to be one of the most notorious assassins out there a product of the foot clan and his father. He was a cold blooded thirsty terrifying killers known as the fire akuma, the devil, the bringer of death, and many other names. All at the cost of his innocence. At age 8 his father found out about the horrible punishments after hearing the excuse one too many times he was hurt from patrol and training. His father accepted it too busy with projects and destroying humans to pay attention to him. Once he learned of the horrors being done to his creation he rained hell upon the foot and promised 42005 that no one shall ever harm him again. He started paying more attention to his experiment from then on making sure nothing tainted his creation. As time went they grew closer and acted more as father and son although Baron would never admit it as he was too prideful. Baron always felt guilty for his trauma and did his best to help him with it. Although he still had plenty nightmares from the screams he heard and bones being crushed and throats be big split- he was getting far too much in his thoughts. Baron never did explain why he allied with the foot - he never explained many things but 42005 learned to not question it. His father was still very guarded hence why he was never named an actual name instead of numbers.

SWOOSH! Oh right he was training! 42005 lassoed the foot bot who threw kunai at him and threw him at the wall effectively making him short circuit with his neck being twisted at an awkward angle. He proceeded to the next foot bit and threw his fiery friend into the foot not making an effective burning hole. As he continued on with his training his father watched him through the screen at his work station satisfied and proud of his son with what he was seeing. A few hours later 42005 had created and effective pile of destroyed bots and was panting heavily. Baron called for his son over the intercom that connected to the speaker within the stimulation room. Once 42005 came he stood in front of his father waiting for instructions as his patrol would begin soon.

“42005, you have done remarkably well since I have raised you and have succeeded my expectations, you will be sure to wipe out the human race and bring hope for us Yokai and mutants alike to rule the surface, and I am... p-“. Baron coughed on trying to swallow his ego and pride. “ what was that pop?! We’re you going to say-YES LETME FINISH, I just need a second”. 42005 looked smudged and excited staring at Baron who somehow managed to swallow his ego and proceeded with his original saying. “ Yes 42005 I am p-proud of you and I know for certain I can call you my s-son. For your birthday I gift you this and give you your name... Michelangelo” baron heaved a sigh of relief as Mickey squealed and jumped all over. His father had promised him when he was 8 that when he exceeded his expectations of him he would finally give him a name and 42005 or we’ll Mickey hadn’t let him forget since. It was a true sign of parental love and trust. Baron had struggled to do this for so long because he didn’t want to get attached to an experiment that could still fail and he might need to replace even if he started from scratch again. In truth he chose the name Mickey because he read about a renaissance artist once who was named Michelangelo and was highly successful. As Mickey grew up he promised great strength and ambition as well as intelligence but not in the way you think.

You see Mickey has ADHD which caused him to have trouble paying attention during lessons his father was teaching more focused on what to draw and having multiple thoughts in his head. He also constantly had to be doing something wether it was tapping his feet or humming a tune he heard or other things. This quickly annoyed his father as he didn’t know why Mickey was like this and at first assumed it was because he had a lot of energy since he was a child but it continued to happen as he grew up and then mood swings started to appear a lot more. So Baron decided he should look into it more and see what was wrong and found mickeys symptoms to match most of the adhd symptoms. He asked Mickey later that day why he had trouble paying attention and why he was so impulsive and as his son explained he concluded that he had ADHD. He felt guilty for yelling at his son so many times over something he couldn’t control and never asked why he did what he did. He looked up herbal teas and created many medications similar to those used for humans but instead for a growing teenage mutant turtle boy. Of course this didn’t cure his adhd and he’ll always have it but over the years they’ve learned to manage it and what medicines did and didn’t work. But because Mickey had adhd he had to find other ways to do things other solutions. This caused him to memorize skills and cooking and other acedmic stuff in several ways for example most things were labeled around their home and Mikey used lists in order to keep track of things. Once he got a phone he also put reminders on there and his father would also him remind him of his tasks. Growing up Mikey also had special interests such as games, technology, reading but mostly comic books, cooking, and creating art. His father encouraged his behavior as it helped for him to gain confidence and he was able to use it to his advantage in training and fighting. But when Mikey was with the foot clan he was mocked for his habits and drawings. They would tear up his drawings in front of him and beat him when he couldn’t pay attention or he was stimming. This caused him to have low self esteem and ptsd. His father was a busy man selling his creations and do in g business deals among the yokai city so often times he neglected Mikey. Mikey was angry at him for this and this caused a rift between him and his dad he was afraid and scared and needed his dad but didn’t want his dad to find out about the abuse. This left him confused angry and frustrated as well as draxum as he was emotionally stunted. Wanting to know why his son was acting this way he visited the foot clan without telling them and saw Mikey being cut and beaten in a fight as they yelled horrible words at him. This sent him in a rage destroying everything in his path and getting his son out of there. Once in the safety of their home Mikey spilled about everything like an overflowing sink as he kept crying as well. Baron unsure of what to do simply held his son tighter and listened. Once this happened his father became more protective of him but also trained him more to fight back against harmful people and they continued to repair their relationship.

“-ickey, Mickey, MICKEY!” Yelled his father. He rose to attention still full of energy but stood straight waiting for instructions . His father looked at him with his classic I- love-you-so-much-but-your-gonna-be-the-death-of-me look . “It is time to start your patrol, your task today is to find the needed chemicals I sent to your phone to create more mutagen for my oozesquitoes, stay safe out there my son” Draxum patted mikeys head with slight fondness and Mikey beamed at him. He then hurriedly made his way out of his home and towards yokai city. He snuck into a nearby alleyway and drew the symbol for the portal going through quickly to the surface world. He checked his black utility belt for all his weapons. “ I have my kunai, my shuriken, my tento, my kusari fundo, my protein bars -ughhhhhh, my sketchbook, pencil, yup! I think I have everything!” Mikey exclaimed. He skated rooftop from rooftop heading towards the old abandoned factory filled with chemicals his dad usually made him get for his experiments. He was wearing a black hoodie and mask that showed a wide grin of sharp teeth and his skateboard full with stickers that consisted of smiley faces, graffiti words, neon signs, gaming brands, etc. Patrols weren’t necessarily patrols more of errand runs for the human world unless it was an assassination for a human who wronged a fellow yokai. As much as his dad hated humans he worked with the ones from the foot clan for yet untold reasons and had Mikey assassinate humans who were especially evil. The foot clan had also messed that up for him taking away his in once when they started executing innocent people who wronged them and made him watch and kill them. He shuddered at the reminder and of things that still haunt his nightmares and shook his head to be clear of the horrific thoughts. As he jumped from the next rooftop he hears chatter that gets louder and ducks down on a balcony to spy on whoever’s coming his way. There he sees WHAT!?!? 3 OTHER MUTANT TURTLES dad said I was the only one, the only mutant turtle who was trained to be an assassin. Are they even assassins?!? What’s going on? Mikey thought.

Mikey can get angry and sadistic . Can be downright cruel and unforgiving. Can kill someone quick and merciless. He’s a soldier, an assassin, a demon if you will. His names is feared within the Yokai community despite not being a yokai. But that’s to be expected of Baron Draxums son. He’s proud of it and it certainly helps that his dad praises him for it. He’s a turtle or we’ll a mutant turtle ,created to be the perfect experiment. The only mutant turtle in the world. So why the hell does he see 3 other mutant turtles on a rooftop during his patrol?! Unless... No! They couldn’t be! Dad said they had died in the fire! They are dead...right? Or maybe someone stole dads work and mutated 3 other turtles for their own benefit? Or something??? Ughhhhhhh!

Mikey then peered up from the balcony to spy again as he saw the 3 mutant turtles talking amongst themselves and a ...human!!! Aren’t all Yokai supposed to hate humans?! This night just keeps getting confusing! Mikey then decided to look up again and as he shifted around he forget about the skateboard next to him

CRACK!!

The skateboard had fallen of the balcony and broke in two over a dumpster. Mikey froze as his breath was taken away. Slowly he looked up, only to find the turtles gone?

“ Huh? Where’d they go” Mikey climbed onto the rooftop confused and a bit hesitant And then heard some shuffling behind him. He quickly grabbed a Kunai and held it up to one of the turtles neck

“Uhhhh hi? Nice dagger you got there” Mikey stared fiercely at the turtle ready to kill if necessary.

#casey jones #tmnt raph #tmnt leo #tmnt mikey #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt donnie #rottmnt #tmnt angst #foot clan #beginner writer #rise of the tmnt #angst #I’m trying my best here #adhd tag #baron draxum #april o'neil #[ out of character ]

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flowerpowell · 3 years

Text

The Royal Holiday Romance (Liam x MC)

PART ONE

A/N: ..... Okay but hear me out. I sat down to finish my two ongoing series and this is what came out instead. It’s not my fault really. This is going to be a short series (about 4 parts me thinks) and it’s going to be cheesy and fluffy, wintery, Christmassy and very Hallmark-y (I watched too many Hallmark romcoms and this is the result).

A/N 2: This has nothing to do with the canon but the characters belong to Pixelberry.

Rating: G

Word count: 1668

Tagging (perma + TRR + Liam tags): @twinkleallnight @kingliam-rys @sfb123 @gkittylove99 @texaskitten30 @iaminlovewithtrr @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @hopefulmoonobject @blackcatkita @dcbbw @kingliam2019 @thequeenofcronuts @jared2612 @annekebbphotography @lodberg *

*my taglist is very old so if you no longer want to be tagged in my posts, just let me know and I’ll take you off.

“Wow.”

“Impressive, isn’t it?”

Victoria looked at the scenery in front of her, still not believing her eyes.

“It looks like I’ve just walked into a Hallmark movie set,” she admitted staring at the white wonderland. Her friend chuckled.

“It does look like that a bit. But Cordonia is always so mesmerizing this time of the year. Truly magical. You’ve never been here?”

“No. This is my first time here, and in Europe in general. And you?”

“A few times. I used to come here for winter holidays with my parents many years ago. The last time I visited Cordonia was three years ago when we were filming The Crown and the Flame. We spent a few months here and we were even invited to a dinner with the King and the Queen.”

“Seriously?!”

“Mhm.” Hana nodded slightly. “It was a very important movie for all Cordonians as it was about their beloved and legendary Queen Kenna Rys.”

Victoria sighed in admiration. Hana Lee was one of the most popular and talented actresses in the world. She was nominated to Oscars at least three times and ate dinner with the King and the Queen of Cordonia. And now she was standing next to Victoria Brooks, novice actress, in a snowy Cordonia and talking to her as if they were best friends, not just co-stars.

Victoria realized how lucky she was to be starring alongside someone like Hana. Great actress and even greater personality. No wonder she was so loved by many. And even though she was only playing Hana’s character’s sidekick, she was grateful for the opportunities that came with it.

~~~~

“Liam!!! You have to see this!”

Liam turned to see his friend Maxwell running into the office with a phone in his hand. “Look!”

“Maxwell, I can’t see anything if your phone is so close to my face. What’s happening?”

“Hana Lee is here! The Hana Lee! They’re filming a Christmas movie here, which she’s co-producing by the way, and I have to meet her. Please, please, Liam, use your kingly privileges and let me meet Hana!” Maxwell pouted and Liam bit his lip so he wouldn’t start laughing.

“I know you have a celebrity crush on her but isn’t it a bit too much?”

“You’re saying that just because you already met her and I wasn’t invited!”

“I barely had any chance to talk to her, it was mostly my father who did the talking but from what I remember she was truly a charming person.”

“Well, duh.” Maxwell rolled his eyes. “I just want to meet her. I’ve prepared a welcome dance just for her and I need to show it to her. She’ll love it!”

“And what do I have to do?”

“Come with me to the set and tell the security not to kick me out? You and Drake can hang out somewhere while I’ll be with Hana.”

Liam furrowed his eyebrows. “Drake is coming as well?” He asked.

“NO!” They heard Drake’s voice from the hall just as Maxwell opened his mouth to say ‘yes’. In a moment, their friend walked into the office and stopped right in front of them. “I already said no!”

“Come on, you guys! I have dreams too, you know?”

“And meeting an actress while bringing your friends with you is one of them?” Drake raised his eyebrow at Maxwell.

“I actually wanted to ask her something.” Maxwell blushed a little. “I wanted to ask her if she’d let me write her autobiography.”

“Err…” Liam started and looked at Drake for help.

“Maxwell, you can’t write her autobiography.”

“Why not? You doubt my writing talent?”

“No, actually, yes, but that’s not the point.” Drake shook his head.

“Only Hana can write her autobiography, you can write her biography,” Liam cut in. Maxwell shrugged.

“Same thing. Does it mean you’ll come? Pleaseeeeee. Pleaseeee, pleeeaase!”

Liam sighed as he looked at Drake who was shaking his head. “Yes, Maxwell. We’ll come.”

~~~~

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, I’ve just finished and I thought I’d go for a walk and explore a bit.” Victoria smiled at Hana who looked beautiful in a dress she was wearing for the opening scene.

“But we’ve just started rolling. How are you finished already?”

“Well… Your movie best friend doesn’t have that many scenes. I’m just a supporting character, remember?”

“Oh, okay.” Hana thought for a second. “Would you like to go through the tomorrow’s scenes later?”

“I think I’m okay. I only have a few lines and to be honest, I’m so used to playing background characters that I feel well prepared for shooting.” Victoria said it half-jokingly but Hana’s face fell a little.

“I’m sure if I talked to the—”

“No, Hana, no.” Victoria shook her head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m happy with my role. I just wanted to say I’m well prepared for this role because I always play best friends. No whining intended.”

“Okay then.” Hana smiled. “Just remember some of the best actors got their awards for playing supporting characters.”

~~~~

Liam was looking at the set, unsure why he agreed to help Maxwell.

“You’re the best, you know that, right?” Maxwell beamed as he was trying to spot Hana. The security let them in immediately after Liam introduced himself and his friends.

“Just remember we should—” Liam started but Maxwell ran off somewhere, half dancing. “—be going soon.”

“Yeah.” Drake nodded. “I’ll be with the food if you need me,” Drake said before leaving Liam alone.

He looked at the set; it was busy and Liam didn’t feel like socializing. He decided leave the set and go for a walk before he’d come again to take Maxwell and Drake back to the palace. The last thing he needed was people recognizing the King on their set.

~~~~

Victoria was wandering through the forest which was conveniently located near the movie set. She thought if she was to be in only a few scenes in the movie, she might as well use all the free time to explore Cordonia. And there was a lot to be explored.

Normally, Victoria would do a thorough research on the country she was going to but because her being in the movie was a last-minute decision, she had no time for anything except for packing.

She wasn’t complaining, though. There was something magical about exploring the country for the first time. She wanted to make the most of it.

What she told Hana was completely a lie. She wasn’t whining and she was truly happy to be playing Hana’s supporting character. Acting wasn’t the career of her choice. She was in love with cinema ever since she could remember. When she got into her dream film school she wanted to become a famous movie critic. Her plans were changed later when one of her professors told her she had a talent for acting and she should try it. Ever since, Victoria had small roles here and there. She loved seeing how the movie industry works from the inside but at the same time, the more she played, the more she longed for something more.

Not wanting to complain, she only silently wondered when she’d stop playing best friends and be a main character, at least once in her life. She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but the longer she was acting, the more she believed she wasn’t a main character even in her own life. Maybe it was supposed to be this way, maybe some people were meant to be supporting characters even in their own lives. Maybe it—

“Ooooff” Victoria’s stream of consciousness was interrupted when she bumped into something. Someone. A man.

“I’m sorry, are you alright?”

“A local. Cordonian accent is really pretty,” she thought to herself as she nodded at the stranger.

“I’m sorry I bumped into you. I didn’t see you,” she admitted and the stranger laughed.

“From my point of view, you were looking directly at me. I assume you were lost in thought.”

“I was, sorry.”

“Oh, don’t be. I always lose the sense of reality when I’m in nature myself. You’re a tourist, I assume?”

“I am. Just came here and wanted to explore a little.”

The stranger nodded. “The forests are usually not the first thing the tourists are visiting but I must admit, we do have amazing forests.”

“They might not be for most people but I love going for walks here and forget about my job, my life, everything.”

“Then I think we’re very much alike. I do like to forget about my job as well.”

“Is your job that bad?” Victoria asked and noticed the stranger’s face expression changed.

“It… can be. It’s very demanding and I… sometimes like to take a break. And you?” He changed the subject. “What do you do?”

“Oh, I’m—” she stopped. If she told him she was an actress he’d ask her what movies she played in. Victoria wouldn’t bear seeing the disappointment on his face when she’d explain she plays minor roles. Not when she started to like him.

“Victoria, stop it, you can’t think every single person you meet and have at least one thing in common with is your soulmate. You’re not living in a movie.” She scolded herself and she realized the stranger was still waiting for the answer.

“I’m… in the movie industry,” she finally said. “A critic. Well, a beginner but you get the idea,” she lied, laughing nervously.

“That sounds intriguing, umm…” he stopped at looked at her expectantly.

“Victoria! Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. And you are…?”

“Liam. Nice to meet you.” He extended her hand and to Victoria’s surprise, he kissed it, smiling at her. “And welcome to Cordonia. I hope you’ll have a great time in our beautiful country.”

Victoria felt a chill running through her body as Liam was touching her hand. She offered a small smile in return. “Yes… Me too.”

#choices #the royal romance #the royal heir #playchoices #king liam #liam x mc #king liam x mc #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #hana lee #trr #choices trr #I KNOW I WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE TUMBLR OKAY #but when the inspiration strikes you just gotta go with the flow

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bubble-tea-bunny · 4 years

Text

bloom

[claude von riegan x reader]

author’s note: i got fe: three houses over christmas break and fell absolutely in love w claude oml. i’ve only finished the golden deer route so far and i wanna do blue lion next, just not too sure when since i’m back in school, and i am busy. rip

word count: 7,152

Being set atop a hill, Garreg Mach Monastery is afforded beautiful views of the countryside every single morning. Rolling hills are silhouetted against a dark sky giving way to reds and oranges as the sun rises. Mist is low on the ground, a haze in the air like you’re dreaming. Dewdrops rest on blades of grass and birds hidden in branches sing to each other, and maybe they’re sharing poems about the wind catching under their wings. The weather is crisp and cool, cool enough to see one’s breath with every exhale, and it might be best to enjoy the cold and early hours from indoors, where it is warm and cozy with the flagstone floors, wooden rafters, and blazing fireplaces.

The romanticized musings of winter mornings are fully lost on the Golden Deer house today, as they have been the last couple of weeks. Instead, the air is harsh and bitter, biting at their cheeks left unprotected. They stand shivering in the field, simultaneously yearning for the coziness of the monastery and for Professor Byleth to finish giving out directions so that they might finally start moving around and hopefully get some warmth back in their systems.

Professor Byleth’s classes focus primarily on practicals, and Golden Deer had thus far been perfectly fine with that. The lecture halls could quickly grow suffocating, and the general quiet within them, save for a professor’s voice, made it all too simple to doze off. But when training takes them outdoors is when the blood truly gets flowing, for they’re afforded the chance to move around and spar, pushing each other to their limits. The golden deer love their homeroom professor dearly, of course, but with lowered temperatures comes lowered motivation to be out in the field first thing in the morning, and despite this being the start of the third week since winter began, they highly doubt they will ever grow used to the chill.

Claude thinks he might fall asleep right where he’s standing. Another issue with morning practicals this time of year is that the sun rises later. As someone whose internal clock tends to sync with the movement of the sun through the sky, he isn’t quite up to his typical level of jokes and antics until the day has fully broken.

His eyes close. The professor is addressing Leonie’s question, so he takes those several seconds to rest them as if that might be enough to get energized. His fingers feel frozen around the grip of his bow and he’s certain they’re stuck. He’ll need to unthaw in front of a fireplace when this is over. A nice, warm fire sure sounds wonderful right now…

Grass sifts beneath the boots of someone coming closer and Claude’s eyes slide back open. He glances to his left and grins tiredly.

“Hey, [Name],” he starts quietly, for you’re not standing very far. “Do you have any spells that might wake me up? Or at least feel warmer?”

You smile, sympathetic and similarly fatigued, and shake your head. “Unfortunately not, Claude.” Your cheeks and nose are red, and you punctuate your statement with a sniffle.

“I’m turning into an ice block out here,” Claude continues. The two of you are in the back, so there’s no issue of the professor overhearing. “Almost makes me wish for Hanneman’s history lectures instead.”

At this, you chuckle. For Claude, that’s no small claim. He’s fallen asleep in said lectures before, and you’ve had to wake him up before Hanneman noticed and woke him up himself. But you find you’d have to agree. While you mind them less, and can stay awake the whole way through, you do prefer the fresh air. Just… perhaps not when the cold is making your fingers numb even in your gloves.

After Professor Byleth has fielded everyone’s queries, she sets you all loose to begin your training. Everyone shares the same sentiment as they split off, but it’s Hilda who gives voice to the mutual relief inherent within them all at finally moving: I thought I was going to freeze in place if I was standing still any longer!

Once class is done, the sun has fully emerged from its hiding place and the chill is less severe. Claude isn’t bothered by it anymore, however, and he doubts his classmates are either. The professor’s practicals aren’t easy, and they’ve only gotten more difficult as the moons pass and everyone is well past the point of beginner. With blood pumping and heartbeats racing, there was no room left to feel cold.

The other two houses emerge from their classrooms and the corridors are filled with students. Professor Byleth has to raise her voice to be heard above the hustle and bustle, parting with a commendation for another job well done today. She separates herself from the crowds to return to her classroom, and Lysithea and Lorenz follow after her to ask a question. As for the rest of the house, you join the sea of people. There was some time yet until the next set of lectures, and in your case, you’re keen to freshen up.

Mail comes in at the beginning of the week. You don’t expect many letters. You expect only one, in fact. Every Monday, like clockwork, you collect the envelope with the familiar wax seal keeping it closed. What’s different about the letter today is that it’s accompanied by a small burlap pouched tied up with twine. It confuses you to receive, and you’re wondering what it could be, but despite the distraction, you say your thanks to the courier before taking your leave.

You settle down at a table in the reception hall to review your mail. Carefully you peel open the envelope, breaking the seal, and pull out the letter folded parchment. The correspondence opens with your name, written immaculately in your brother’s handwriting, and the noise around you seems to melt away and you’re not in the monastery but rather, somewhere closer to home, somewhere like home.

You and Ludwig exchange letters regularly, as you made him promise to do before you’d left to begin your schooling at the officers academy. You’d always been close, and he shares with you the goings-on of being head of the guard. He’s privy to many of the discussions your father has with other houses, as is necessary if he’s to take over one day, but he still laments the boringness of it all, sparing you of no detail regarding how heavy his eyelids felt, how the monotone voice of some such lord or other seemed to go on and on and on… (You can practically hear his exasperation and you giggle. Poor Ludwig.)

With the remark that he hopes he hasn't just made you want to fall asleep on the spot too, he changes the subject and turns the conversation on you. This is where you finally get an answer about what’s in the small bag, now sitting on the table: they’re peony seeds. Your eyes light up upon reading this.

I bought them at the market the other day, Ludwig writes. I know you’ve been asking me to send some. Peonies are native to the area where your home city is located, and they grow in abundance there. The greenhouse at the monastery is lacking in the pink flower, and you recently requested that Ludwig sends you seeds if he was able so you could cultivate your own. You’d gone from seeing them daily to not at all, and you’d come to miss them. A ghost of a smile rests on your lips as you pick up the bag, clutching it in your hand and already formulating the heartfelt thanks you will send in your letter back.

There’s a break in Ludwig’s letter then, a new line, a new paragraph, as if a new thought has just occurred to him.

You know what these symbolize, don’t you? Maybe when they grow, you can give them to the one you love most.

Ludwig closes with well wishes and reminders to study hard even though it bears no reminding. You’re studious, more so than he during his time attending the academy. He never could sit with his nose in a book for long. But it’s his obligation as your older brother, he argues, that he tell you to work hard—I want to see you succeed! So don’t let me down, okay?

You remain sitting after you finish reading, processing all the information. Getting letters from Ludwig is a great way to start your week, and nearly makes up for the fact that your morning practicals since the start of winter are a harsh wake up call after lazy and relaxing weekends. You’re always eager to reply, and you plan to write your response tonight and have it sent out first thing tomorrow morning. Then begins the waiting game again.

Your eyes slide back up the piece of parchment, paragraph by paragraph, reviewing every topic covered. Upon reaching the topic about the present he sent, your head tilts thoughtfully. Burlap and twine scratch at the soft skin of your palm. You look down at it, like you can see the seeds inside, and your cheeks are feeling warm. The one I love most…

“There you are!”

Being so deep in thought, you don’t notice someone approaching, and you jump at the loud interruption, nearly dropping the letter and the pouch of seeds in your surprise. Claude smiles apologetically and rubs the back of his neck. “Whoa! Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you like that.”

“It’s fine,” you brush it off with a dismissive wave and a smile. But your face is still burning, your mind lingering on the subject of peonies and true loves. You clear your throat and try to will away the heat, though it’s to no avail, and you know better than to assume Claude, ever so curious Claude, would brush over the reddening of your cheeks which the cold isn’t responsible for.

“What’s got you blushing so much this morning?”

You shake your head. “It’s nothing.” Before he can try to goad you to give more information (because you know he wants to), you tuck Ludwig’s letter back in the envelope and stand up. “You ready to go to class?”

Claude’s grin is mischievous but he doesn’t pry anymore as he nods instead, and the two of you exit the reception hall. Dodging the question won’t work with him. He’ll find a roundabout way to come back to the topic after considering what the answer could possibly be, offering up his guesses for you to confirm or deny. But for once you doubt he’ll get this one, and you don’t know that you have the confidence to admit to him that he’s the root cause.

You walk slightly behind and look up at him briefly, staring at the back of his head. You imagine the scenario and can see him now, chuckling as he accepts the bouquet of peonies and pondering aloud if it isn’t he who’s supposed to be giving the flowers. You’ll laugh at his small quip because he always makes you laugh with little asides like that, then you’ll ask if he knows what they mean. And if he doesn’t, you’ll sheepishly tell him, your heart alight with the hope that maybe, hopefully, your affections are reciprocated.

The what-if has your cheeks bursting in warmth once more and you hastily look down at the ground, focusing hard on the motion of your boots as you take each step. The blush needs to be gone by the time you get to the lecture hall, or else other people will ask about it too and you can’t have that!

Once you feel the dusting of pink has gone from your face, you quickly spare one more glance up at Claude. This time he seems to notice and glances over his shoulder, flashing you a quick smile. You smile back instinctually, though it fades once he turns his attention back in front of him.

Or maybe it's too much to hope for, that your relationship could extend beyond anything more than friends. Doubts nag at the back of your mind that he won’t feel the same, and that your confession will have upset the current balance. You fear the prospect of it doing the total opposite and pushing Claude away. Why risk ruining a good thing?

———

Professor Hanneman’s most recent writing assignment practically makes the library a second home for you and Claude. You stay there for hours, poring over old tomes for material to reference in your essay. You see your fellow classmates there occasionally and wave hello, but no one seems to be in there are often as you both. It leads to Claude wondering half-seriously if there’s some lecture you could’ve somehow missed that had pertinent information for this paper. You can only shrug helplessly.

“Maybe I’ll ask Marianne if I can take a look at her notes…” you murmur, flipping through your own. You speak quietly because of the environment, but as far as anyone on the outside is concerned, you may also be doing it because you’re speaking to yourself. Claude’s resting his head on his propped up hand, his eyes having slid shut a few minutes ago.

But you know better, and you smile slightly as you turn to look at him. He hasn’t knocked out quite yet, and at your comment, his eyes open. He sighs, exhaustion creeping up on him, and also glances over what he has written so far.

“Yeah, I could probably go ask Ignatz. He takes good notes.” Claude sits up and yawns, which prompts you to check the time.

The clock on the far wall denotes it’s early afternoon, but being cooped up in the library, the last couple of hours have crawled along and felt like much longer. With a sigh, you gather up your notes, careful not to accidentally grab any of Claude’s. “As much fun as we’re having”—Claude’s laugh earns him a shush from the nearby monk organizing the shelves—“I need to get going. I’m meeting Professor Manuela at the greenhouse.”

Given that Professor Manuela specializes in healing magic, you often spend your free periods with her to better hone your skills. One of the places in which you spend those free periods with her is the greenhouse, reviewing the various herbs to have on hand in case anyone is injured. Spells are good, she’s advised you, but it doesn’t hurt to have herbs on hand as well to aid the healing process.

“I’ll head out too then,” Claude replies, voice extra quiet so as not to be reprimanded by the monk again. “All this fun and no one to share it with? Not fun at all.”

You walk out of the library together with an agreement to meet up again tonight. The paper is due in a couple of days, and usually you don’t like to cut it so close, but Professor Hanneman had given it at an unideal time, caught up in multiple other assignments as you are. To add insult to injury, they had due dates close to each other, which only makes the mad scramble to finish everything even madder. The best you can do to cope is take solace in the fact your plight is not an exception. Your peers are experiencing much the same.

Your talks with Professor Manuela don’t end when she’s finished her small lesson for the day, reviewing the nuances of an anxiety-relieving herb kept at the greenhouse. Every so often there’s a short story about her days with the Mittelfrank Opera Company. You’ve heard her sing before, and you delight in imagining her up on the stage in Enbarr. How amazing it must have been, you muse. You don’t think you could perform in front of thousands of people like that, but maybe in your dreams you could, at the very least, pretend.

Though what tends to be brought up, more so than the opera company and show business, are the professor’s most recent flings. The first instance she had shared with you the failed connection with a man she met at the bar, you’d blanched, unsure if this was even allowed. Weren’t the personal affairs of faculty not meant to be shared with the students? Your mouth opened, prepared to ask if you were really the correct person to share this with, but she’d kept going, and she was so distraught, that you couldn’t bring yourself to stop her.

Better to let the feelings out than in, is how you’d justified it. You refrained from cutting her short and listened patiently. If anything, you suppose you’re glad she thought you someone worthy to share these frustrations with. Even if you couldn’t exactly do anything about it or have any advice to give.

“Love lost then found then lost again,” Professor Manuela laments. The sky is turning orange and dinner would be served soon. If you were closer to the dining hall, you’d be able to pick up the delicious smell of tonight’s dishes wafting out through the open double doors.

“Or what I thought was love. Turns out he was just like the rest of them.” She laughs dryly.

“I’m sorry, professor,” you do your best to console.

Professor Manuela sighs. “Me too, [Name].”

Her words echo in your mind during dinner, where you’re only pulled from your thoughts by your friends pulling you into their conversation. But as you return to your dorm and sit in silence, they come back, and there’s nothing to keep you away from them here. Love lost then found then lost again. You repeat it over and over, and you can’t shake the notion that it sounds so… dismal. It must be tiresome to go through disappoint like that again and again. You don’t know that you’d be able to go through it more than once. The heartbreak the first time might be too much. And besides, who’s to say you could find it again? Or would?

This gives you pause, halting your motions of sorting through your notes where you sit at your desk. If someone were to ask who you love, you can only think of one person, and the possibility of losing him is too much to bear. So much so that it’s frightened you from trying to share your feelings in the first place. Will you even dare to entertain the possibility of someone else out there, that you could feel this way about? At present, such is beyond you. Not when you think of peonies and they make you think of Claude. They might always make you think of him, and how could you stand to lose someone like that? So maybe you can carry on with the current state of things forever, never venturing past the point of friends. (Though perhaps it’s less about can and more about must.)

There’s a knock on the door but you don’t need to ask who it is. Claude is standing on the other side with a smile, texts he’d borrowed form the library and various papers tucked under his arm. “Ready to hit the books again?”

You open the door wider to allow him in before closing it behind him. “Not one bit.”

Claude chuckles and sets his study materials down on your bed. “Yeah, me neither. But I think we could finish tonight if we really go for it.”

You plop down in your chair to review your notes and continue from where you left off earlier. There’s the shifting of paper and flipping of pages to your left so you assume Claude is doing the same, but then the noises quiet down. It’s suspicious, but not enough for you to check on him. Before the quiet stretches on long enough to finally merit your concern, he speaks up.

“A new project?”

You turn to him, wondering what he could mean, but he’s not looking at you. Instead, he’s looking at the pot sitting on your window sill.

“Oh, uh, yeah…” you respond. “I asked Ludwig to send me peony seeds. There’s none here, and I missed them.” You hadn’t planted all of them, since you needed to make sure the pot was small enough for the sill, and you have the rest stored away, along with Ludwig’s accompanying letter, in the top drawer of your desk.

“They remind you of home.” It’s a statement, not a question.

But Claude’s hit the nail right on the head, and you nod. “Exactly.” There’s silence for a few moments as you stare at the pot and the small sprouts jutting from the soil, the beginnings of pink peonies, then quietly you continue. “Admittedly, I do get homesick sometimes…”

The smile Claude graces you with then is sympathetic. “I’m glad you have those flowers, if only to ease up on some of that longing.”

Your thoughts have trailed to your small garden at home with the gazebo and small table for two. At Claude’s words, your eyes flicker to meet his. And you imagine him sitting there with you, among the peonies, and you would have him immortalized in oil paints, his smile that which makes flowers blossom and which keeps your heart warm so that in the very depths of your being, where the soul finds rest, is perpetual spring.

“Yeah.” Your reply is curt, and you do your best to ignore the tightness in your chest. Longing, yes, he’d gotten that right. But was it merely for home? Or was it for him too? “It helps well enough.”

The air had quickly felt as if it was closing in on you. To break past its uncomfortable hold, you change the subject, taking in a steady breath and picking up what you’ve written of your essay so far. “Well, let’s get started then! Maybe we can finish before midnight if we’re quick about it.”

Claude laughs and looks at the clock. “With how fast I’d have to write to make that deadline, my hand might catch fire!”

———

Somehow, you make it. You all do: Golden Deer, Blue Lion, Black Eagle, the victory of each student no matter the house is one and the same. The point in the school year where exams and homework assignments are crammed in around the same three weeks is finally behind you. The atmosphere of the school in those weeks had been stressful, and had many late—sometimes even sleepless—nights packed with studying. On the Friday of the third week, at the end of the school day, a collective sigh of relief sweeps through the hallways like a welcomed breeze on a hot day.

Hilda’s making plans to go into town to celebrate, and she’s adamant you go with her.

“Come on, [Name], I don’t want to go by myself!” She’s practically hanging off your arm.

“I dunno, Hilda, I’m kind of tired.” You shrug, but the arm she’s hugging doesn’t move much due to her hold. “Isn’t there someone else who could go?”

“But I want you there with me! It isn’t the same if it’s somebody else.”

You and Hilda get along well, and despite how long it’s been since you met, it still strikes the others as a surprise as much as it does you. While Hilda is outgoing and energetic, you’re generally calmer and more subdued. You’re happy to stay in, and as is the case today, to go back to your room and relax as a way to celebrate the passing of the stressful weeks composed of midterm tests and assignments. But you guess your opposing tendencies can be good for each other. You help rein in some of that energy, the gentle reminder for her to take a breather every now and then; and she encourages you to go out and take advantage of the sunshine, to go around exploring. And since last time you made plans, the two of you just stayed in your room chatting and gossiping…

“All right,” you concede, and halfway through it’s nearly drowned out by her squeal of elation. “But can we at least get changed out of our uniforms first?”

“Of course! I need to find something cute to wear. You too, okay?”

You laugh at her enthusiasm as you nod your assent. The request shouldn’t be difficult to fulfill, since she had assisted in redoing your wardrobe, which meant a majority of it was now Hilda-approved by default.

Once at the dormitory, you part when you reach Hilda’s room, which is closer to the entrance of the building. You’re still several doors down, and you spot a familiar figure coming towards you.

“I feel like I can breathe again!” Claude declares, setting a hand over his heart to complement his exclamation.

“I’ll be catching up on a lot of sleep this weekend,” you state. That would have begun right this instant, but, well, Hilda happened. “Though I’m sure I’m not the only one with that plan.”

Claude chuckles. “Far from it. But how about right now? You getting up to anything?”

“Hilda and I are heading into town. So shopping, I guess, is what I’ll be getting up to. What about you?”

“I have some books to return to the library, but after that, the rest of my day is free. I think catching up on sleep is gonna start a little early for me, and, to be honest, I feel like I’m more excited than I should be.”

You grin lopsidedly in amusement. “Hey, it’s sleep well deserved, right?”

You bid your goodbyes, Claude continuing down the hall and you retreating into your room. Rifling through your dresser, you opt for a white dress. The days have been growing warmer and the sun is pleasant to feel on your skin in the afternoons. You stand before the mirror and braid your hair to keep it out of your face, for there’s a small breeze today. When you’re finished, you momentarily remain where you are, studying your reflection and nodding in satisfaction.

Then your attention shifts to the left, in the direction of the window. You walk over and flip the latch so you can slide it up. Immediately cool air floats in, and you smile as you glance down at the pot on the sill. The peonies are slightly bigger now; leaves are forming, though it would be a while yet until the flowers bloomed.

While in town, you settle for following Hilda’s lead. She pulls you into basically every boutique along every street you walk on, the wares on display in the window piquing her interest enough to look in detail at the selection inside. So far, she’s bought two blouses and a pair of shoes, and she says she’s now on the lookout for new earrings, but she still gets sidetracked by all the boutiques, whether they carry jewelry or not.

You’re happy to browse but haven’t felt particularly compelled to purchase anything. Hilda picks out clothes and holds them up, aligning them with your figure as she imagines what you’d look like in them. This is cute! she’d say. You should get it! But you chuckle and respond simply with a Maybe because with the number of suggestions she has given, if you had indeed bought every single one, you’d have enough to fill half your closet. While you’re open to the idea of expanding your wardrobe, you’re inclined to be picky else you shop till you quite literally drop. Hilda might be okay with that, but you… perhaps not so much.

By late afternoon, your stomachs are grumbling and you’re searching for snacks. Eating a big meal now made no sense because dinner would be served by the time you returned to the monastery. Hilda spots a cafe at the end of the street: a perfect place for tea and pastries, which would be enough to keep you sated for the walk back.

“Going shopping is so much more enjoyable without the thought of homework in the back of my mind!” Hilda remarks. Following midterms, the professors wouldn’t be handing out any new assignments until Monday, which meant as far as anyone else in the academy is concerned, this weekend is as free as free can be.

“I feel kind of strange knowing there’s nothing to work on,” you state. “But I’m not complaining.”

The two of you are approaching a flower display set up in front of a shop, and you slow down to glance at the pots and bouquets. Hilda slows her pace to match yours, and she grins. “Ah, finally it isn’t just me who’s wanting to pull you into shops.”

You chuckle but don’t turn your attention away from the colorful arrangements. It’s only when you look through the opened door do you turn around to look at her. “I know we were going to get food, but…”

Hilda waves a hand. “Go for it. But I’ll just stay out here, since, well…” She holds up the armful of clothes and accessories she has. “I’d hate to accidentally knock anything over.”

You tell her it’ll only be a few minutes, then step inside the flower shop. There’s a skylight built in to the ceiling, the last few hours of sunlight today flooding in past the glass. Your boots thump quietly along the wooden floors, though occasionally you step over a squeaky board. It is the series of quiet squeaks that captures the attention of the florist, an older woman whose back had been turned to you until now.

Her smile is polite, and when she asks if there’s a specific flower you’re looking for, you contemplate for a moment whether you should tell her or just proceed to browse in search of it yourself. After all, you don’t mind combing through the aisles, if only to take in the pretty selection. But since she offered her assistance, you figure you might as well. Before you can change your mind, you say Yeah, actually and ask if there are any peonies.

She shakes her head regretfully and apologizes. “I’m afraid I’ve sold out of peonies.”

You’re disappointed but smile anyway, appreciative of her help. “Oh, well… maybe next time.”

You can’t say you’re surprised there are no more available. Peonies have been especially popular recently, with the coming spring. Since the ones you’re growing are still young, there are no blooms to be witnessed currently, and you would have liked to buy some to enjoy. It seems as though you were too slow to get a bouquet on today’s visit, but you could hardly be blamed, given you were basically cooped up in your room during free periods and the weekends this past moon to study.

You envision the bouquet in a glass vase, sitting next to the pot of young peonies on the window sill. Then invariably your thoughts shift and you envision handing them instead to Claude, a sudden shyness overcoming you being despite the fact you have been good friends for a long while, but with the implication of your actions, you can’t help it. And you’d like to hide your face behind the pink bunches, too embarrassed to meet his gaze, and your cheeks would burn, jut like they do now.

If you had been able to buy the bouquet, which would it have been? Would you have kept it to yourself, or would you have finally done it, admitted to Claude how much he means to you, a sentiment beyond mere friends? You’re still hesitant that the feelings could be mutual, and are adamant in telling yourself that to risk it would be far from a good idea. So you surmise that if there had, in fact, been peonies available, then that would’ve meant something, a strong enough sign from the universe of what you should do. The flowers in your hands would be the push you needed because Ludwig’s words play in your head again and peonies are pretty sitting in front of a window but they’d look even better in the hands of the one you love most.

You huff out a heavy sigh. And perhaps the opposite is a sign too. At best, a sign to wait; at worst, a sign that it isn’t meant to be. And the latter hurts to consider. Even for all your aversion to risking your friendship with Claude, a tiny part of you holds onto the hope that so long as you don’t acknowledge your feelings, so long as you keep them a secret, there remains the possibility for him to love you back. Those what-if’s have kept you satisfied up until now, but would they always?

Maybe the lack of peonies today are the universe telling you that it’s your choice to make. To reason that your profession of love to Claude depended on whether there were peonies in the shop today, was to discount the magnitude of your feelings. If they’re as strong as you believe them to be (and you believe them to be very strong), they will be that final nudge. The universe removes her hands from this one.

Hilda frowns when you emerge from the store empty handed. “No flowers?”

“Nothing caught my eye,” you explain, not going into anymore detail than that. Your stomach grumbles again, a well-timed reminder of your original goal, and the perfect excuse to change the subject. “Now come on, let’s get food!”

Maybe on the day the peonies in your room finally bloom, you’ll have the courage to confess.

———

When you’re back at the monastery and in the dining hall for dinner, you don’t see Claude anywhere. It’s an observation you make but doesn’t warrant your concern nor suspicion. You hadn’t arrived right when the cooks began serving the food, and by now other students and faculty are finished or are almost finished with their meals, and have left to continue with the rest of their evening. The table you’re sitting at with your fellow Golden Deer steadily empties until it’s just you and Raphael. He tells you he spent his afternoon training, and when you commend his dedication, he gives you a toothy grin and playfully flexes one of his arms.

“Have to keep my muscles big and strong! That’s why I gotta eat so much too, like right now!”

Even he’s lost track of how many times he’s gone back to get more food. Seconds, thirds, fourths… If no one else is eating it, then I will! You can’t help but laugh. His passion for food (more so to eat than to make) is unparalleled, and it leaves little to go to waste. The dining hall is growing quieter as people depart, and there’s still some food left being attended to by the cook, which you know Raphael will be going back for. With slight amusement you wonder if they make extra just for him.

Eventually you too take your leave, wishing Raphael a good night as you stand. The breeze is cool and you shiver, for you don’t have a jacket. You’d come straight to the dining hall when you got back. You hasten your walk to the dormitory, and with every step closer, the thought of sleep begins to excite you. It technically isn’t very late yet, but the stress of the last few weeks have caught up to you, and you’re ready to plop into bed and sleep for days. Besides, there’s sure to be other students who have already fallen asleep, like Claude, according to what he’d mentioned this afternoon, so you’re no outlier.

Or, it seems, not like Claude, because you see him in the hallway.

Your brow raises in confusion and you don’t have to say anything for him to know why you’re looking at him so surprised. He laughs and falls in step with you as you continue on to your room.

“I took a nap earlier and was a little more energized,” he begins, “so I’ve been chatting, hanging out, getting things done.” He shrugs matter-of-factly.

“What things need getting done?” you inquire curiously. “Not anything class-related, that’s for sure.”

“No, nothing about our classes.”

He doesn’t expand more than that, and you look up at him, expecting him to speak again, but he keeps quiet. You’ve arrived at your room now, and your hand curls around the doorknob. You take a second to open the door, opening it wide as a signal for Claude to come in if he wants.

“Then what’s—” Your question is cut short once you step into the room. In shocked silence, you observe the scene before you.

Bunches of peonies adorn every available surface: on your desk, atop your dresser, scattered over your bed and even covering the uniform you’d folded and left on top of it when you changed after class. The window sill where you keep your own pot of peonies is almost hidden beneath how many of the pink flower have been placed there. More are tucked among the books and knick knacks you have on the high shelves mounted on the wall. If you had any words, they’ve left upon the breath you let out, a sigh of disbelief and wonder. It’s beautiful.

You twist around, and the soft smile on Claude’s face from where he stands by the door is an instant giveaway. You want to ask him what this is about, but you can’t find it in you to speak. Thankfully, he understands fine, and answers without needing to be questioned aloud.

“Since you couldn’t go home, being at the academy to study and all, I figured I could bring home to you.”

Your lips lift at the corners in a grateful smile, though it’s shaky because you might cry. The thoughtfulness makes your chest squeeze painfully, that Claude would do this for you. You hadn’t paid any special mind to your comment about peonies and your attachment to them, but Claude had. It had stuck with him, and not only that, it had spurred him into action. Your room is filled to the brim with peonies and you’re certain you’ll see them behind closed eyelids as you sleep.

“Thank you, Claude.” You hope he can detect your gratitude, the heartfelt sincerity. You mean it with your entire being because never in a million years did you think anyone would go to such lengths for you. His smiles grows then, and you know that he had picked up on it. “But how—”

“—did I get all these flowers?” he completes the query for you. “Yeah, about that, I asked around from the merchants if anyone was bringing in shipments of peonies, and when I found someone, I bought the whole supply.” He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

That must be why the florist from this afternoon had no peonies available. You’re familiar with Claude’s talents, and have been privy to his fair share of schemes, but evidently, he’s so good that he’d managed this one right under your nose. Suddenly you want to ask why. Why had he done this? Multiple crates of peonies couldn’t be cheap, and though money is no issue for a noble like Claude, it’s still a lot to spend on one person. Did he truly value your friendship that much, that he hardly blinked at the prospect of doing something like this?

As if he could hear your thoughts, he speaks up again. “I did this to help you feel less homesick, but… there was more to it too.”

You tilt your head but keep quiet so he can continue.

“I like being the reason for your smiles,” he admits. “I want you to be happy. And when the opportunity to do this”—he motions to the room and the peonies—“fell into my lap, and I knew it’d make you smile, I couldn’t pass it by. I didn’t think twice. I mean… how could I?”

It’s silent for several moments as you process what he has said, and the implication behind his words. He did this because it made you happy. He did this because he does value your friendship but what’s more, he values you. What he shared mirrors your own sentiments, gives voice to the warmth you feel whenever you see him smile and how that’s all you want to dream of and when he smiles because of you, you always feel like the two of you could be something more.

By now it is impossible to deny that Claude is baring his heart to you in a way you never had the courage to. And he watches you the way you imagined you’d watch him, waiting nervously, with bated breath for the response, clinging to the hope that the yearning and the pining and the love, that it’s all mutual.

You swallow the lump in your throat, and your voice is barely above a whisper because if you were to speak any louder, your voice might crack. “So what are you saying?” This feels as if it’s not real, is just in your head, and you’re too nervous to come to any conclusions on your own lest you somehow take everything completely the wrong way. Even now, you’re second guessing yourself, wondering if you can finally acknowledge and confess your own feelings. But you have to know for sure.

“What I’m saying is…” Claude takes the few strides to close the distance between you, and when he’s standing before you, he carefully lifts a hand to rest on your face. He visibly relaxes when you don’t shy away from his touch. “You mean the world to me. You make me feel like I can move mountains, and I never want to let you go.”

You’re overcome with happiness at his words—he feels the same!—and you can’t contain your smile. His eyes light up when he sees it. “There it is.”

The remark only serves you to make you smile wider as you laugh shyly. The skin of his palm is warm against the coolness of your cheek, and you lean into his hand. You notice his gaze drop from your own, flickering to your lips, and then he’s closing what small distance remains, and his lips are soft, so soft, and you could stay here forever. This isn’t quite your garden of peonies and the gazebo with a table for two, but whether you were at the monastery or back home, whether you were in a gazebo or in your dorm room, you’re still surrounded by peonies, and most importantly, Claude is with you. That’s all that matters.

Your thoughts drift to the letter in the top drawer of your desk, and you only hold him tighter.

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