#i JUST finished a 6 page paper thursday night and now i have to cough up another 6 pages by tomorrow night

[captainsplat]

my tummy hurts can someone write my crime and punishment essay

[purpleshellsforyou]

The Room

Daddy Jefferson

Part 5 of 7

Original writer (@yrs-forevr) version here!

TW: Period-typical Sexism (ish)

AN: My dumb ass forgot I already wrote this. 

Time: Hamiltime

Word Count: 1777

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5- you're here!| 6 | E

Thomas Jefferson x Reader

Letters from Alexander Hamilton had been coming in every day now, insisting that Thomas consider supporting his debt plan. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to see the multitude of papers arriving at his office but it was Hamilton, so he had come to expect it. Jefferson didn’t reply often, but that never stopped Alexander from continuing on the warpath of spreading his argumentative opinions.

The best part of Thomas’s week was when Asher ran into his office every Thursday to tell him that lunch was ready. Today the two-year-old practically bounded into the room, his face lighting up at the sight of his somewhat-adoptive father. The paperwork had never been filled out to make him a legal guardian, but he fathered him as if he had.

Asher was wearing a little blue coat that almost ran to his ankles. The color of the fabric was barely lighter than his blue-gray eyes. He was always so happy around this time of day. Y/N, Asher, and Thomas always visited the graveyard on Thursdays with a picnic lunch. Of course, the young boy didn’t really understand death yet, but he knew who his father was and why he could never come and visit. All he really recognized was that he got to spend some time eating outside with his family.

“Daddy, come on! Mamma says that it’s time to go!”

“I’ll be right there, Ash.”

“Okay! Momma helped me write a letter to Papa today! She said that if we leave it in front of the rock door, then he could read it.”

He had a goofy grin on his face that could only stay with innocence. It took everything in Jefferson not to jump up from the desk and lift Ash up in the air, playing and giggling as they went to go to lunch. Growing up in a big family, Thomas never felt alone amongst his siblings. He wanted Asher to feel the same sense of family, an assurance that he would never be alone. The Jefferson siblings, specifically his brother, visited on occasion, but never stayed long. None of them approved of his choice to live with an unmarried woman and her son. None of their critiques were worse than those in his own head.

He’s not even your son, really. You wouldn’t be a good father anyway. Think of all the women you used. If it didn’t happen then, it wasn’t meant to happen. Give it up, you’ll never be a good father, let alone a good husband.

He shook off his thoughts, faking a smile as he playfully shooed the boy from the room, promising to be down in a minute. He turned his attention to the last page he told himself he would finish before the picnic. The ink in his quill felt thinner than it was before the welcome interruption. His older brother’s words echoed in his mind:

Don’t fool yourself. You’ve grown up strong. Get power, and the happiness will follow. Men don’t love, Thomas. They take.

“I will discuss it with Madison, but I cannot make you any promises, Alexander. As amusing as it is to see you beg before me like a lost dog, I cannot set aside my values, nor can I speak for James.”

“This debt plan must be passed, Jefferson. This country needs it passed.”

“You always want everything to go through. Sorry, Washington isn’t going out of his way to make sure you get everything you want.”

Thomas stepped back through the front doorway, making a move like he was about to shut the door on Hamilton. He was truly feeling desperate to come and ask Thomas Jefferson for help. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’, but one of ‘how far are you willing to go?’.

“Wait.”

“What?” the democratic-republican snapped.

“What if you got something out of it?”

Thomas sneered back at the man: “I’m not the one that needs something out of it.”

“We can negotiate something. Something that can help the Southern states.”

“The South doesn’t need your hel-

“Please.”

Jefferson paused, thinking about what he and Y/N had been teaching Asher the previous night. Although you may not agree with everyone, listening and being polite can be the most important part to changing their mind. Breathing in through his clenched teeth, Thomas seethed:

“Come over Sunday night at 5 pm. We can talk then.”

Hamilton smirked and nodded before he turned back to his carriage. Jefferson rolled his eyes and slowly let out a full breath, finally closing the door. This wasn’t going to be fun. Now he had to go see Madison and, more importantly, he hated bringing work home. His house was, with the exception of his office, somewhere that he didn’t have to be a politician.

Sunday dragged along as a fury of angry conversation wracked the halls of the Jefferson residence. James had agreed to join Thomas for dinner, but he knew something was wrong when he was the only one to show up at the front door. When Thomas ushered him inside and explained the situation, there was nothing stopping the bickering.

It was unusual for Thomas to request that Y/N not speak with him, but it was painfully clear that he didn’t want to prevent her or Asher from joining him in the first place. It was all too likely that whatever was to be exchanged was not going to be appropriate for Asher to hear in the first place. It was decided that they would all go out together the next day to make up for the evening and, with any stroke of luck, celebrate.

Y/N had taken her less than enthusiastic son upstairs, promising mac and cheese to encourage him to come upstairs. He bounded up alongside her, but not before turning around to wave at Thomas as he turned the corner.

Place cards had been set around an old oak table and courses for the meeting had been determined- all standard for political gatherings. However unconventional it may be, Jefferson tried to set things in a good light by separating his home life from the shared political discourse.

James was still grumbling his disdain for the meeting as Alexander arrive. As the three politicians made their way to the dining room, they attempted to discreetly size one another up. The air, an intoxicating mixture of parchment and cheese, hung heavily over them lazily. The first course has been set out on the table for their arrival. Every movement from the men was strategic, a test of where the power in the room was held. As the dining room doors thumped closed behind them, the atmosphere only grew more stiflingly uncomfortable.

It was an hour later when a side door into the room creaked open. The pitter patter of small feet entered, unaware of what they had just interrupted. The politicians paused their conversation, looking up from the documents they were assessing to see the two-year-old hop up onto a chair and reach for the bowl of mac n’ cheese.

Jefferson was the first to break the silence.

“Asher, what are you doing down here? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

The boy looked up, some cheese sauce stuck around his mouth.

“Mama fell asweep.”

“She fell asleep?”

“Mmh Hmm. She was reading the book you made again, but she stopped and went to sweep. I know because she’s breathing loud again.”

Hamilton glanced to Madison, wondering what his take on this was. If he expected a reaction from James, he didn’t get much of one. All he really looked like was a man trying to hold in a cough.

“Alright, little soldier. Let’s get you to bed. You need to have lots of dreams so you have energy for all the fun we’re going to have tomorrow with your mom.”

Asher’s eyes lit up with excitement and happily took Thomas’s hand to lead him upstairs.

Alexander looked like someone had slapped him in the face. James turned his focus to Hamilton, seemingly unaffected by Asher’s appearance.

“For your debt plan to have the slightest hope of passing-”

“I didn’t know he could act so fatherly.”

Unsure of what to say, Madison pulled out his handkerchief and quietly coughed a few times. He had seen Thomas with Asher several times, taking him to see his office or meet new people when Y/N needed a little time to herself.  Alexander still appeared to be tripping on his tongue, clearly thinking out what he wanted to say next. He opened his mouth several times before deciding to say;

“I thought Jefferson was more of a… um… catch-and-release type guy.”

“He was.”

“He isn’t now?”

James smiled cryptically before he answered “If I would have once called him a player in the game of lust, I would now say that he has traded his spades for hearts.”

“I never considered Jefferson one to fall for love.”

Hamilton looked perplexed and somewhat calmer, but Madison was clearly displeased with his comment. There was no mistaking the subtle venom in his voice as he quipped “Many would say the same of you, Alexander. Greed and lust leave a man far more vulnerable than love ever could. Although he may not be the man you thought you knew, he is a better father than you imagined him to be. All he is doing is trying to be there for a boy without a father, a position he has filled wholeheartedly.”

For the first time since the beginning of the meeting, the dining room was completely silent.

When Thomas found Y/N sitting on the rocking chair, he couldn’t help but grin at the small gray blanket that had been placed somewhat haphazardly over her legs and part of her abdomen. The person that tried to put it over her had clearly not been tall enough to reach, despite being on his tiptoes.

When Asher tugged at his hand questioningly, he focused his attention on getting him to go to sleep. Jefferson made sure to brush the little boy’s teeth- he had eaten again after all -and put his favorite stuffed animal in the bed with him.  As Asher finally fell asleep, Thomas went back over to Y/N.

She was sleeping so peacefully. It was rare that she got to sleep early, so Thomas took great care not to disturb her as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her across the hall. Y/N was in her nightclothes already, and he just slipped her into her own bed and closed the door behind him as he left, choosing not to acknowledge the warm feeling in his chest as he did so.

[purpleshellsaremyfavorite]

The Room

Daddy Jefferson

Part 5 of 7

Jay (@yrs-forevr) x Thomas Jefferson

Reader insert version here!!

TW: Period-typical Sexism (ish)

Time: Hamiltime

Word Count: 1777

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5- you're here!| 6 | E

Letters from Alexander Hamilton had been coming in every day now, insisting that Thomas consider supporting his debt plan. He wasn’t exactly thrilled to see the multitude of papers arriving at his office but it was Hamilton, so he had come to expect it. Jefferson didn’t reply often, but that never stopped Alexander from continuing on the warpath of spreading his argumentative opinions.

The best part of Thomas’s week was when Asher ran into his office every Thursday to tell him that lunch was ready. Today the two-year-old practically bounded into the room, his face lighting up at the sight of his somewhat-adoptive father. The paperwork had never been filled out to make him a legal guardian, but he fathered him as if he had.

Asher was wearing a little blue coat that almost ran to his ankles. The color of the fabric was barely lighter than his blue-gray eyes. He was always so happy around this time of day. Jay, Asher, and Thomas always visited the graveyard on Thursdays with a picnic lunch. Of course, the young boy didn’t really understand death yet, but he knew who his father was and why he could never come and visit. All he really recognized was that he got to spend some time eating outside with his family.

“Daddy, come on! Mamma says that it’s time to go!”

“I’ll be right there, Ash.”

“Okay! Momma helped me write a letter to Papa today! She said that if we leave it in front of the rock door, then he could read it.”

He had a goofy grin on his face that could only stay with innocence. It took everything in Jefferson not to jump up from the desk and lift Ash up in the air, playing and giggling as they went to go to lunch. Growing up in a big family, Thomas never felt alone amongst his siblings. He wanted Asher to feel the same sense of family, an assurance that he would never be alone. The Jefferson siblings, specifically his brother, visited on occasion, but never stayed long. None of them approved of his choice to live with an unmarried woman and her son. None of their critiques were worse than those in his own head.

He’s not even your son, really. You wouldn’t be a good father anyway. Think of all the women you used. If it didn’t happen then, it wasn’t meant to happen. Give it up, you’ll never be a good father, let alone a good husband.

He shook off his thoughts, faking a smile as he playfully shooed the boy from the room, promising to be down in a minute. He turned his attention to the last page he told himself he would finish before the picnic. The ink in his quill felt thinner than it was before the welcome interruption. His older brother’s words echoed in his mind:

Don’t fool yourself. You’ve grown up strong. Get power, and the happiness will follow. Men don’t love, Thomas. They take.

“I will discuss it with Madison, but I cannot make you any promises, Alexander. As amusing as it is to see you beg before me like a lost dog, I cannot set aside my values, nor can I speak for James.”

“This debt plan must be passed, Jefferson. This country needs it passed.”

“You always want everything to go through. Sorry, Washington isn’t going out of his way to make sure you get everything you want.”

Thomas stepped back through the front doorway, making a move like he was about to shut the door on Hamilton. He was truly feeling desperate to come and ask Thomas Jefferson for help. It wasn’t a question of ‘if’, but one of ‘how far are you willing to go?’.

“Wait.”

“What?” the democratic-republican snapped.

“What if you got something out of it?”

Thomas sneered back at the man: “I’m not the one that needs something out of it.”

“We can negotiate something. Something that can help the Southern states.”

“The South doesn’t need your hel-

“Please.”

Jefferson paused, thinking about what he and Jay had been teaching Asher the previous night. Although you may not agree with everyone, listening and being polite can be the most important part to changing their mind. Breathing in through his clenched teeth, Thomas seethed:

“Come over Sunday night at 5 pm. We can talk then.”

Hamilton smirked and nodded before he turned back to his carriage. Jefferson rolled his eyes and slowly let out a full breath, finally closing the door. This wasn’t going to be fun. Now he had to go see Madison and, more importantly, he hated bringing work home. His house was, with the exception of his office, somewhere that he didn’t have to be a politician.

Sunday dragged along as a fury of angry conversation wracked the halls of the Jefferson residence. James had agreed to join Thomas for dinner, but he knew something was wrong when he was the only one to show up at the front door. When Thomas ushered him inside and explained the situation, there was nothing stopping the bickering.

It was unusual for Thomas to request that Jay not speak with him, but it was painfully clear that he didn’t want to prevent her or Asher from joining him in the first place. It was all too likely that whatever was to be exchanged was not going to be appropriate for Asher to hear in the first place. It was decided that they would all go out together the next day to make up for the evening and, with any stroke of luck, celebrate.

Jay had taken her less than enthusiastic son upstairs, promising mac and cheese to encourage him to come upstairs. He bounded up alongside her, but not before turning around to wave at Thomas as he turned the corner.

Place cards had been set around an old oak table and courses for the meeting had been determined- all standard for political gatherings. However unconventional it may be, Jefferson tried to set things in a good light by separating his home life from the shared political discourse.

James was still grumbling his disdain for the meeting as Alexander arrive. As the three politicians made their way to the dining room, they attempted to discreetly size one another up. The air, an intoxicating mixture of parchment and cheese, hung heavily over them lazily. The first course has been set out on the table for their arrival. Every movement from the men was strategic, a test of where the power in the room was held. As the dining room doors thumped closed behind them, the atmosphere only grew more stiflingly uncomfortable.

It was an hour later when a side door into the room creaked open. The pitter patter of small feet entered, unaware of what they had just interrupted. The politicians paused their conversation, looking up from the documents they were assessing to see the two-year-old hop up onto a chair and reach for the bowl of mac n’ cheese.

Jefferson was the first to break the silence.

“Asher, what are you doing down here? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

The boy looked up, some cheese sauce stuck around his mouth.

“Mama fell asweep.”

“She fell asleep?”

“Mmh Hmm. She was reading the book you made again, but she stopped and went to sweep. I know because she’s breathing loud again.”

Hamilton glanced to Madison, wondering what his take on this was. If he expected a reaction from James, he didn’t get much of one. All he really looked like was a man trying to hold in a cough.

“Alright, little soldier. Let’s get you to bed. You need to have lots of dreams so you have energy for all the fun we’re going to have tomorrow with your mom.”

Asher’s eyes lit up with excitement and happily took Thomas’s hand to lead him upstairs.

Alexander looked like someone had slapped him in the face. James turned his focus to Hamilton, seemingly unaffected by Asher’s appearance.

“For your debt plan to have the slightest hope of passing-”

“I didn’t know he could act so fatherly.”

Unsure of what to say, Madison pulled out his handkerchief and quietly coughed a few times. He had seen Thomas with Asher several times, taking him to see his office or meet new people when Jay needed a little time to herself.  Alexander still appeared to be tripping on his tongue, clearly thinking out what he wanted to say next. He opened his mouth several times before deciding to say;

“I thought Jefferson was more of a… um… catch-and-release type guy.”

“He was.”

“He isn’t now?”

James smiled cryptically before he answered, “If I would have once called him a player in the game of lust, I would now say that he has traded his spades for hearts.”

“I never considered Jefferson one to fall for love.”

Hamilton looked perplexed and somewhat calmer, but Madison was clearly displeased with his comment. There was no mistaking the subtle venom in his voice as he quipped “Many would say the same of you, Alexander. Greed and lust leave a man far more vulnerable than love ever could. Although he may not be the man you thought you knew, he is a better father than you imagined him to be. All he is doing is trying to be there for a boy without a father, a position he has filled wholeheartedly.”

For the first time since the beginning of the meeting, the dining room was completely silent.

When Thomas found Jay sitting on the rocking chair, he couldn’t help but grin at the small gray blanket that had been placed somewhat haphazardly over her legs and part of her abdomen. The person that tried to put it over her had clearly not been tall enough to reach, despite being on his tiptoes.

When Asher tugged at his hand questioningly, he focused his attention on getting him to go to sleep. Jefferson made sure to brush the little boy’s teeth- he had eaten again after all -and put his favorite stuffed animal in the bed with him.  As Asher finally fell asleep, Thomas went back over to Jay.

She was sleeping so peacefully. It was rare that she got to sleep early, so Thomas took great care not to disturb her as he lifted her up into his arms and carried her across the hall. Jay was in her nightclothes already, and he just slipped her into her own bed and closed the door behind him as he left, choosing not to acknowledge the warm feeling in his chest as he did so.

[magnesiaandlemonjuice]

Saturday 23 December 1826

7 24/60

10 40/60

my bowels quite right this morning

as good or a better motion than yesterday after the magnesia

yesterday and Thursday I had my new lace of 3 ells, and my stays quite loose, and had not that heavy pain at the pit of my stomach - I put on a tight cinture yesterday to go out and felt a little of the pain - took it off when I came in at 4, and felt quite relieved - I am now almost convinced that all this disorder this obstinacy in my bowels and pain at the pit of my stomach has been solely caused by my being too tight, tho’ other people would have thought my things quite loose - I cannot bear any tight ligature round me - Query Had all Norcliffe suffered from obstinacy in his bowels originated in too tight dressing - many of our dandies and many ladies have surely suffered exceedingly from this cause? Can it be now the case with Mariana for she, too, complains and tho’ she looks better may not feel better in her French stays? Finished dressing (came to my room at 8 25/60) dawdling over 1 thing or other till 9 3/4

weighing currants raisins &c [etcetera] musing on what my aunt said last night well I had said I to myself as on getting up providence orders best but I think it would alarm me more to be persuaded my aunt would live a dozen years than that she should be ill now I can never get out of hugger mugger during her life and at least for the present I will be contented to save my money by it it shall not be for nothing no more thinking to get nice little things nothing but what is necessary unless my aunt asks for it herself remember all this -

the 4 coquillard pears I have just sent to my aunt to be stewed weigh 2 pounds 10 ounces - wrote the above of this morning and had just done it at 10 1/4 - Breakfast at 10 1/4 - I had hardly sat down for breakfast when the wine came I ordered yesterday - paid for it - had not time to read the paper - breakfast over at 11 - went to speak to my aunt - she had sent back 3 of the pears because they were a little decayed - said they had best be used - I cared not for the appearance whether cut in quarters or not - would rather have the better pears afterwards - settled my accounts - looked over my money - the man (brother to Mrs Barlow’s porteur d’eau) brought the charcoal - paid him for this sack and the last, saying the servant only paid 0/70 a sack for bringing and I paid 0/75, so that he gained 2 sols by my paying him myself - Had the meat weighed by George 1 1/2 pound beef suet and 2 pounds gravy beef good weight - 7 3/4 pounds côtes de boeuf (all weighed separately) weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces instead of 7 12 (vide page 58, line 16. Monday last) - this surprises me - did not see it weighed - but have no doubt George would be correct for he said he had put the 2 ounce weight to the meat to make it weigh 1 1/2 pounds - a little before 2 Mellerio’s man brought the plate - 6 grands couverts i.e. 6 tables spoons and 6 forks weighing 4 m[arc] 1 oz [once] 1 1/2 gr[ain] 228/. façon 24/. engraving the arms 12/. = 264/. 2 salt spoons 9/= ‘1 Pince à sucre’ 1 pair sugar nippers 14/. engraving the arms on the 3 last articles 3/. - paid the bill - Mellerio it seems sells knives, the best at 40/ and so[me] franks the dozen - wrote the whole of this page - entered the bill in my accounts - all which took me till 2 40/60 -

cut my nails and

went out at 3 10/60 to our milk woman (cul de sac Monthabor [Mont Thabor] Numero 8) to desire we might 1/2 our milk tomorrow and the other 1/2 sent with the usual quantity on Monday - thence thro’ the gardens to Legrand’s rue du Bac for the kitchen carving knife - not done - will bring it tomorrow - thence sauntered farther along the street to beyond the rue de l’université in returning along the opposite side went into Bacquoy’s confiseur Numero 17 - pointed to some pressed apricots I thought she said 3/50 a pound at first; at all rates she changed to 6/. a pound - gave it up, but as they had given me one to taste took a small orange at 5 sols - ate it there - not very good - she would let me have the apricots at 5/. offered 4/50 they looked at and nudged one and another, and took my price - Looked sharply after them in the weighing - hardly weight - seemed too few for a plat - would have abricots baiuguès [faigrés] (little round cakes of sugared apricot excellent) obliged to give 5/. for this - (they asked 6/. at first), and took 1/4 pound bonbons à devise at 4/. - thought when I have all my accounts &c [etcetera] arranged and can turn my mind fairly to the language I will be up to all these people - Before getting to the end of the street saw a man put down 2 sols for roasted chesnuts - I never spoke, but did the same, and the man gave me 1/4 litre very nice and hot and good - I paid yesterday (for rather better) 25 sols a hundred at Numero 353 rue saint Honore (a large handsome shop) and the woman had asked me 2/. for the same only a day or 2 before - there is no knowing when and where to believe ones fairly dealt with - got home at 4 1/2 - a young woman waiting with pot au crème from Numero 1 rue du Marché Saint Honoré whence George had brought the dish at 2/90 - this woman seems as honest as any I have met with - but George gave her the address this afternoon - I hope this will not spoil her - To be English and have a good apartment au 2nde [deuxième] in this quarter is dangerous - Had George in - sent him à la Halle about 12 1/2 - He had not returned when I went out - but did very well - bought a boisseau of potatoes for 0/45 1/2 boisseau navets de Fraeneuse 0/30 Botte de carottes 0/20 idem de céléri 0/15. very well - prepared for dinner wrote the last 18 1/2 lines, and had just done at 5 3/4 - By the way had a letter from Mrs Lynn this morning with the Tours postmark (about 12) - I was too busy to open it - 2 pages ‘deeply sensible of your kind letter and all the excellent advice it contained’ soon after she last wrote Miss Lynn became so ill could not leave Tours - has taken the best apartments there, and do all possible to keep up an equal climate with in doors - Doctor Conolly says there is much in her ‘situation to give great alarm as to the result, but he says there are some favourable circumstances in her case which gives him great hopes that at present no material injury has taken place in her lungs - the cough however continues to be very troublesome’ - poor Mrs Lynn seems prepared to expire! - she is ‘afraid she cannot be reared’ but writes of it with extra resignation - ‘must bow in submission’ - admits no one - ‘so exhausted with misery and suffering’ could not bear the effort of receiving anyone - sleeps in her daughter’s room - never leaves her - surely this is an amiable excellent woman! I will answer her letter kindly, bidding her write to me unless she really feels disposed to do so - reading my letter and writing the last 10 1/2 lines took me till 6 - Doing I know not what till dinner at 6 20/60

put on napkin just before I went out fancying my cousin was going to come gently but no such thing

came into the salon at 7 50/60 - blew up the fire - sat down at my desk at 8 1/2 - previously weighed the pound of tea I got this day week rue des Lombards 1/4 ounce overweight - settled my accounts which and calculating 1 thing or other took me till 10 - Rainy morning - fair before noon - by 11 - but very damp - fair but damp the rest of the day - went to my room at 10 10/60 -

Marginal Notes

rainy morning

Fahrenheit 42o at 8 1/2 a.m. 42 at 2 p.m. 44 at 6 p.m. 44 at 10 1/4 p.m.

SH:7/ML/E/10/0034 & SH:7/ML/E/10/0035

[theliterateape]

Noble X — Episode 14: Reflections

By Mike Vinopal

HOME AT LAST John’s déjà vu day continues. Foregoing yet another meal, John’s starving brain continues to redline. The urge to eat has all but left him, along with the urge to smoke weed or even sleep. Completely consumed with a swirling tornado of ideas, he calls on his personal crew of Captains to reconvene for a second night of round table discussion.

His friends have been thinking about the approaching party nearly as much as John. They all arrive spilling over with ideas of their own to contribute to the Noble Experiment. John hits record on another voice memo to document tonight’s round table. They review the schedule of performers, who’s getting what supplies, the layout of the room. The group is buzzing.

Setting his bag on the table, John shows them all of the supplies he brought home from school today, reminding them of the mind games he had thought of for the audience to engage in during performances if they so choose. Paul objects immediately, reminding everyone that this would distract from the intention of the event, “An untainted, fully immersive listening experience for both performer and listener.” But Anthony still loves this added wrinkle, particularly using the Post-its. Collectively they decide that these activities could be offered during the break and afterwards in the spirit of expression. Then John adds in a quivering voice, directly at a somewhat disgruntled Paul, "Not everyone has musical talent and some find the same sort of release through visual arts or poetry. The Noble Experiment should embrace all of that.” Paul quickly shifts from annoyed to concerned, noticing that John is on the brink of tears.

“You doin’ okay, John? You look sad as hell. Like you’re barely holding it together.” The group is silent. John struggles to force his tears back down with all eyes on him. “Stand up, John.” Paul hugs him aggressively, provoking him to unleash the torment he’s been bottling up inside over the last five days. “You gotta let it out, man. Have a good cry.” And just like that, John’s exhausted mind caves in, first with gentle sobs and then a demon-scream-cry racking his body, collapsing into his friend. It is a moment of bonding for them all. The moment passes and everyone readies themselves to leave, encouraging John to rest. They are an extremely unorthodox family, but supportive. They’ve all been reminded of John’s pain tonight and the party looms ever greatly in their minds.

John, having relieved some of the pressure building inside him, composes himself quickly and demands that they get together for a dress rehearsal of sorts tomorrow evening and they all agree, minus Paul. “I have a gig, sadly. I’ll see you Thursday,” and he departs with a final hug. Anthony finishes up a tiny Post-it sketch, slaps it on the wall, and pulls his coat on. Thomas and Colin follow suit. With plans set to meet tomorrow at the same time, they each offer encouragement to John as they head home. “It’s okay, dude. Sometimes things are sad and we just got to be sad about it. Let me know if you need anything. Try to get some rest.”

As they leave John’s cocoon wraps around him and he is consumed writing tirelessly, scattered bits of thought onto paper, filling every bit of space. Words overlap and intersect, resembling the scribbling of a small child. Ink changes colors. Calm letters turning jagged and violent, then smooth again. After awhile, John’s notes are nearly indecipherable to anyone else but himself. He feels like he’s close to figuring something out, something great, larger than himself and larger than those around him. He’s on the cusp of unlocking something. Chaotically he scrawls triangles on the page, a free associated triad of random bits of thought. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Beautiful Mind, Little Miss Sunshine. He draws a triangle. Steve Martin, Steve Jobs, Stephen Hawking. He draws a triangle. Mom, Dad, Sister. On and on, stuck in a loop. 

In his isolation, John has become nearly comfortable with the hallucinations he’s experiencing, willfully interacting with these figments of his imagination. Since he was little, John had been enraptured by reflection. In the water, in the windows, anywhere and everywhere. And on this night, regressing with each hour he continues to be awake, John wanders his apartment, approaching the framed pieces of artwork that have come to life, his own reflection interacting with the paintings on his wall.

✶

JOHN STANDS BESIDE THE SENTRY, knelt with the crutch and the bottle of liquor. It is peaceful. John feels protected by this presence. He tries to pear around the front of the sentry’s face but it will not be shown to him. Panic begins in the core of his chest.

✶

NOW JOHN FINDS HIMSELF IN A LAND COLORED YELLOW. His eyes burn and the wind is high. The grit blasts his skin. Wisps of red fog curl around his legs and a terrible creature with claws is staring at him in the middle of this sand storm. His fear is very real and his panic overwhelming. His chest tightens as he is shaken from his revery, nearly hyperventilating as a coughing fit takes hold. As it passes, he takes some deep breaths while surveying the damage done. 

“What a mess I am making,” he mutters to himself as he sees his manic writing has overflowed to the dry wall and door frames of his apartment. Yet the coded language and the symbols make him happy. They comfort him. With a couple hours until morning, voice memo recordings to review, and further notes to make documenting today’s experiences, he gets back to work on his study.

Stay tuned for Episode 15.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Links to previous episodes:

Noble X — Episode 1: Cowardice & Heartbreak

Noble X — Episode 2: New Month's Eve

Noble X — Episode 3: Racing

Noble X — Episode 4: Redlining

Noble X — Episode 5: Tracks

Noble X — Episode 6: Filters Off 

Noble X — Episode 7: Testing 

Noble X — Episode 8: More Trials

Noble X — Episode 9: Mind Games

Noble X — Episode 10: Captains

Noble X — Episode 11: Internet Famous

Noble X — Episode 12: Evidence Mounts

Noble X — Episode 13: Suits & Supplies

[loveandra0314-blog]

Tweets!

All my tweets since August 29th, 2016

Currently renewing my unhealthy obsession with Harry Styles. Seniors- have a fun year knowing that all the people older than you in school get to sleep in on Mondays If it comes in rose gold, I own it Lol @ seniors who think they're the shit All of my stories start with "well first of all, bitch" I love myself. Thought you ought to know. When your roommate is THE SAME DISNEY PRINCESS AS YOU My mom keeps sending me pictures of her food Still in summer mode Drew some nice pics of myself getting electrocuted in math today I can literally find someone on the Internet in .002 secs with just a first name, but tell me to hand in my assignment online and I'll die LOOK AT THE LITTLE HEART #GreysAnatomy GREYS FOOTBALL AND HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT If you live tweet next weeks Criminal Minds season premiere, I'll report you for emotional abuse I have not lost my voice, my voice just doesn't like me so she moved out. I send my parents paragraphs and hundreds of pictures of school and I am repaid with one word sentences and blurry pictures of my dog. I come home to find that my parents literally did everything they could to conceal everything that has anything to do with me in my room ALSO MY BATHROOM SMELLS LIKE CLEANING FLUID AND I KNOW DAMN WELL IT SMELLED LIKE "sweet peony" WHEN I LEFT Anthony's favorite hobby is absolutely roasting people on the Hudl app MUZZ WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE ANTHONY THAT HE PEED ON THE COUCH On a scale from 1-10 of brokenness, I'm a $34.72. I'm really proud of myself because I finished 1/8 of an essay that's due on Thursday #overachiever Btw, Anthony replied to my hint with pictures of his papa I know it's the law... But could the train maybe not blow the whistle 6 times through a campus of sleep deprived college kids????? Spagetting to know you Julia and I are in bed watching a movie and wondering why it's so loud... ITS 8:00 PM But how the f is it October in like 2 days We're over here acting like its the damn ice age I've been coughing all over everyone and everything and IM A TERRIBLE ROOMMATE IM SO SORRY WTF "5 Crazy" I love you, SVU Women before us fought to have the right to vote - don't take that for granted #VOTE My bed is absolutely COVERED in pillows, blankets, wires, school supplies, clothes and Tide pods etc… This woman started vaping and then another woman told her to stop, and now they are full on screaming at each other. ON THE COMMUTER RAIL. Guys, this clown thing is REAL I'm having a hard enough time sleeping without all these inconsiderately loud people outside my building clown hunting The dangerous part about college is going back to your bed in between classes WORDS LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW EXCITED I AM FOR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Belle is my Disney princess and Emma Watson is my all time favorite actress I'm crying Constantly waiting for the 12th of each month so I can have some data You can now get a life sentence for animal abuse. Justice. When your roommates make fun of you for complimenting an absolute FIRE selfie of yourself <<<< SUNDAY SHOPPING SPREE I fcking love candy corn You don't understand... our school and social lives have to fit around the voice and grey's. Sometimes my hand slips and I accidentally share something to my Facebook page We're gonna miss you #ThanksPapi It would be fun to me Harley Quinn for Halloween, but I refuse to be one of "those girls" Never be afraid to be yourself!! Happy National Coming Out Day everyone Julia and I have been watching Netflix in bed for 5 hours. COME BE OUR FRIENDS OMG Tmlt I fcking love Evan Peters and AHS Netflix for dayyyyyyzzzz May god bless you and may your eyebrows be forever on point Dear very high people in the hall, please talk even louder! And continue to walk around in your underwear! Please! I'm DYING. As soon as josh got home he immediately told everyone not to ask any questions about the dance My baby brother is almost 14 and he's like a foot taller than me and his voice is deeper than my dad's My little brother got a 30 yrd touchdown and 40 yrd run Mo and Julia are asleep and I'm just laying here laughing my ass off Literally the worst thing in the world is realizing you have a hole in your leggings Backless dresses are just so incredibly beautiful I love them The girls are asleep and I am laughing like a fcking psycho. What's new? Sorry that I retweet a lot, I just feel like sharing the things I find awesome or funny are worth making your day too I love reconnecting I have heart failure walking to class when I start to hear a longboarder behind me Cookies and Gilmore Girls with my babes It's 11:00 and we're trying to sleep pls enforce quiet hour or I will Julia and I suck at life so we put it on the internet. #relatable "Omg have you seen @JeffreeStar new black highlighter?" "Isn't that just a sharpie?" NO JULIA IT IS NOT A SHARPIE I love late night phone calls with my man Rewatching greys is my fave thing to do Meeting guy friends at college is easy until you bring up your boyfriend I told everyone in my kindergarten class that I was a boy. So, surprise everyone idk what that was about Life update: the heater in our room is making loud, evil noises. This started yesterday and has not stopped. This heater needs medical attention I am honestly concerned for this heater's health. She's clearly leaking or dying or something College is not being able to afford a stapler and the professor refusing to collect unstapled papers. Derek Shepherd has been setting unrealistic expectations since 2005. Feliz Dia de Los Muertes! I'm so excited for Beauty and the Beast I'm actually crying. Real tears. I'm seeing it MINIMUM 10 times in theaters "THIS MEAT IS SO RAW A GOOD VET COULD SAVE IT" Anthony wutttttttt No Makeup November JULIA AND I ARE CRYING (not happy tears) The sun rose this morning and it will rise tomorrow morning My dad has had a variation of the same car since 1995 "You are SO loud" "I just don't care" lol k Anthony Scooby doo I cried twice today, first because I watched the Beauty and the Beast trailer, the second time was when I re-watched the trailer. My dream job is when it's always Friday Also no makeup November is going swimmingly, I may never wear makeup everyday ever again All the bathrooms on my floor are being cleaned and I've been holding my pee for an hour and a half. Can I be someone's creepy older prom date this year? I had some real good coffee this morning and I feel absolutely fantastic, this may be a new me Anthony is snapchatting me live from his room where his roommate is keeping him captive and asking deep questions about life College is being awake at 11pm which is just enough time to squeeze in a few more episodes of greys before 12 COLLEGE IS BEING AWAKE AT 12:30am BUT THERES ONLY ONE MORE EPISODE IN THE SEASON Hobbies include: coughing loudly and rudely when I pass people who are smoking When I'm actively trying to not laugh my ass off at stupid stuff because roommate Just a reminder to be careful and safe this holiday season I want a pretty case because the life proof one is too much but I can't afford a new phone sooo.... TMI: I threw up all over a bathroom stall today. I warned you. My professor shaded me in front of the whole class. I don't have room for embarrassment because I high key gained so much respect. Savagery Hahaha at least my eyebrows are fleeky The weather today is less than ideal. Julia made a tinder and then promptly deleted it when she saw an attractive man. THIS IS WHY. THIS IS WHY. True friends snapchat from across the room If the wifi would stay connected, I wouldn't run out of data every month The temperature was in the single digits today and I honestly don't know how I've ever been able to live like this for so long There is a full on absolutely raging party down the hall from my room. 24 hour quiet hours what College made me addicted to tums Sleep is great, but have you ever watched Netflix? Prof almost made us stay past the two hours like... fuck you thought?? Oh annnnnnd I woke my ass up at 7:00 this morning to get a waffle AND THEY HADNT PUT THE STATION OUT YET Why does my brother constantly ask what we got him for xmas?? Like we're not telling you and if we did your xmas would be ruined Trying to save up...but Sephora I can't even put into words how sad I am about Carrie Fishers passing. Rest In Peace. Someone get me on the slopes Can't stop won't stop crying at the Beauty and the Beast trailer. What did I do to deserve this Every time I lose a snapchat streak, I die a little on the inside I'm such a daddy's girl tbh Setting that 4 am alarm is absolutely killer Hey at least the Cubs won the World Series in 2016 Thought about making a resolution to go to the gym and eat green stuff, but I'm just gonna do me, eat cookies and walk occasionally Tmlt- moral: be happy, and do what makes you happy I really just slept until 5pm Traveling through Hoth in my damn Jetta was fun I should have just skied home from work smh These are the days that I wish my dad's Outback was automatic. Smh I share a bathroom w two teenage boys. There is a pile of underwear in the corner that grows +2 every day.