#i NEED something to break up these tulips but i gotta keep to the COLOR PALETTE and ALL THE PURPLE FLOWERS ARE LITTLE UGH

[empressofthelibrary]

God I hope someone recognizes the amount of research I'm putting into this bouquet

[lune-hime]

Garden of Tulips (Levi/Reader) Chapter 4

~Click me for more chapters~

“What did it look like?”

“Hmm?” Levi looked up from his place next to your sleeping form. “The titan that tried to snack on my darling granddaughter.” “Ugly as fuck.” “Aren’t they all?”

Levi recounts memories of the reader and their shared life together while she recovers from a serious injury.

!!WARNINGS!! - Violence, gore, smut, wholesome content ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tulipa Rainbow Parrot ~ A tulip whose vibrant warm tones burst from deep violet petals like festive firecrackers.

↞↠↞↠↞↠

“Where is that frilly lass? We are already behind schedule.” Your grandmother exhaled and tapped her foot impatiently. Levi idly counted the butterflies that fluttered at the foxgloves planted along the polished steps he sat upon. In all honesty, he didn’t mind the waiting. The longer they lingered at the property meant less time for his anxiety to rear its ugly head the moment they left you behind.

The harsh crunching of dirt under boots collided with his ear drums as a young woman raced into view. She held fistfulls of her jade colored dress with one hand while the other struggled to keep the satchel on her shoulder as it flapped wildly in time with her pace.

“‘Bout time.” The old woman huffed, crossing her arms and assuming a position that reminded Levi that she was once a high ranking officer in the armed forces. The girl that Levi presumed to be Felicia skidded to a halt in front of them. Her ragged breaths broke the mid-morning calm and her erratic movements had scared off Levi’s counting material.

“I’m here gnädige Frau! So sorry I’m late, I was preparing some tonics for miss Y/N and-well-” Felicia was heaving and inhaled sharply before continuing.

“I dropped the first batch on the floor so I had to clean up the glass but the shattering of the bottle gave me such a fright that I knocked over the mixing bowl and thus there all my ingredients were now wasted so I had to return to the apothecary to fetch new ones and-” Due to her lack of breath, her excited explanation was barely understandable the longer she carried on. Your grandmother held up a hand signaling her to stop. Felicia coughed once and immediately straightened up, clearly intimidated. She brushed the stray honey blonde baby hairs that had haphazardly escaped their hold back into place behind her ears and stood at attention.

“Felicia, that’s enough.” The lack of surprise in your grandmother’s voice let Levi know that this kind of interaction was nothing new.

“This is Levi. I’m very sure you have heard of him, as has the entirety of the walls.” She gestured to Levi with a nod of her head. Felicia gasped, immediately spewing apologies for not greeting him immediately.

“Oh my! Captain, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Felicia sputtered politely, attempting a deep curtsy. Her bag fell dangerously close to the ground as she did so and she just barely caught it when the strap slipped down to her elbow. She fumbled to collect herself and proceeded to salute enthusiastically, puffing her chest and looking straight past either of the other soldiers in front of her.

Levi shot a quizzical look at your grandmother who just shook her head and sighed.

“At ease?” Levi responded.

“Come inside, girl. It’s a shame that this is your first meeting with Y/N in a while.” Your grandmother turned on her heel and started up the stairs. Levi stood up and waited for Felicia to follow her, however she stood impeccably straight at the bottom of the porch. Levi regarded her with raised eyebrows.

“After you.” He stated unsure, arm extended towards the door. She squeaked and nodded vigoriously and trotted into the house, all the way her bag clanking loudly.

The creaking of the stairs was a prelude to the horrified gasp that resounded through the doorway. Felicia’s expression mimicked your grandmother’s when he had presented you in your state. The pure sadness that hummed along her features gave Levi a glimpse at what he must have looked like when he had seen the abnormal swat you out of the sky.

“Gnädige Frau, w-what happened?” Felicia’s voice crackled with emotion and her hands shook against the leather in her hands.

“Titans, that’s what. Her cuts are deep. I reckon she’s got some fractured ribs, too, based on her bruising.” Your grandmother responded. Levi stood at the foot of the bed, his arms crossed into himself and a hand resting at his chin.

“I tended to her most pressing wounds last night. But I’m afraid her body has gone into shock and she has yet to wake up.”

Felicia nodded, tears beginning to pool at the corners of her eyes. Levi felt a pang in his chest for the girl. You had told him many stories about her; her character painted with fond childhood memories. It was a surreal experience for Levi to be putting so many names and concepts to faces when you weren’t here to experience them with him consciously.

“What have you brought?” Your grandmother inquired, snapping Felica out of her bubbling well.

“U-um, some tonics, antiseptics, salts.” She sniffled.

“Good, good. You are a fine apprentice indeed.” Your grandmother praised and moved so Felicia could get closer to you.

Felicia began unloading the contents of her bag. Levi watched as glass bottles, their liquids a rainbow of colors, were laid out on the table. Her practice seemed more like witchcraft than medicine.

“Where exactly do you apprentice?” Levi asked, curiosity and slight worry about the extensiveness and obscurity of her collection getting the better of him. Felicia halted her actions and stopped what she was doing to properly address Levi, standing straight as an arrow.

“Oh! Besides being a housekeeper for the Vogel estate-”

“Hush, this is no estate. Maybe during my father’s time but now it's just a house.” Your grandmother mumbled while eyeing a thin-necked bottle with a foaming liquid inside.

“R-right, Frau Vogel. In addition to being a housekeeper for the Vogel family , I am also an apprentice at the local apothecary. Krovla’s hospital is constantly overrun these days, so I’m learning how to treat the locals here.” Felicia explained with a formality that contrasted with her scattered personality. Levi nodded in understanding.  

“Felicia, you don’t need to treat Levi like a prized artifact. He’s not your superior officer so stop with this saluting-bullshit. You’re the same age for Pete’s sake.” Your grandmother said, annoyance seeping onto her face.

Felicia let out a squeak and nodded slowly. She was clearly uncomfortable about casually addressing someone of more experience, even if they were the same age. While she was apprehensive about improperly addressing authority, she was not apprehensive about talking. Levi quickly learned that she was quite the nervous chatterbox.

“Captain, gnädige Frau, would you both help me set her up please.” She requested, giving one of her bottles one last inspection and a final swirl.

“Captain, open her mouth please.” Felicia instructed softly. Levi was sitting so close to you that his thigh almost brushed your forearm. Yet, he was afraid to touch you. It was strange, and gave him that familiar stomach churning feeling. How could something so loved and familiar to him feel so fragile and foreign? His thumb ghosted over your pale lips and with as delicate a hand as he could muster pulled down your jaw. He held it there while Felicia carefully had you drink the tonic. It was a painfully slow process where Levi fixed his gaze on your limp form still performing living functions.

“It is wonderful that she is able to swallow.” Felicia commented, relief evident in her voice. She screwed the cap back onto the bottle and discarded it next to her bag.

“Mhm. It could have been much worse.” Your grandmother answered. Her statement rang true but cast a dark cloud over the already damp room. Felicia picked up on this and cleared her throat.

“You know, Captain, when Y/N has been able to return home she always talks about you. She goes on an on and on about your handsomeness, selflessness-” Felicia adorned a nostalgic smile as she recalled your musings.

The corner of Levi’s mouth twitched upward into an almost grin. Damn, you made him sound like prince charming. Which was appreciated, but couldn’t be more far from the truth.

“I gotta say I agree with her that your height is very cute-” She drawled and then bristled like a startled cat. Your grandmother could not contain her guffaw and slapped the now wide eyed Felicia on the back. She didn’t have a filter, poor thing. Like a fawn with a blabber mouth caught at gunpoint, she was.

Levi cringed and let out a deep sigh.

“I-I mean-that’s not a bad thing...right?” Felicia was now as red as a beet and looked as if her head was going to explode out of embarrassment. Levi didn’t respond, only regarded her with the unfamiliar steeliness that scared many.

Frankly, Levi couldn’t give one single shit about how tall he was; or anyone for that matter. But the incessant declaration of cuteness by comrades and strangers alike never sat well with him. Like a fly ceaselessly buzzing against a window it cannot cross. Usually the teasing would be solved with force but he was not about to use that on your family.

“What’s with that look? There’s nothing wrong with being short, I mean look at me.” Your grandmother stated confidently with a wily grin.

↞♞♘↠

The glee of the capital’s festival bled through the streets and blanketed every corner of the city on this celebrated evening. Everywhere he looked was another smiling face infected with the festival cheer. Levi couldn't deny that even he was not utterly immune to the happy virus.

His good mood was mostly due to you (and being able to finally rid himself of the stuffy capital officials), or moreover his alone time with you. After the opening ceremony, which was mostly glorifying the military police while the garrison and corps were there to stand there as ornaments of the government, was mandated break time for all soldiers. You two had simultaneously ditched Eren and Jean when they started getting competitive with the festival games and swerved Hange when she got particularly excited about the fancy delicacies.

Your mood, on the other hand, had done a complete 180 since ditching your decorated uniform for civilian clothes. Your fingers pawed at the fabric of your baby blue dress as intrusive thoughts began to slither through your mind like the blindingly neon colored plush snakes that could be won as prizes. You weren’t usually one to be bothered by the opinions of obnoxious festival goers. Unless it poked at one of your deepest insecurities.

A hundred times over you had told yourself to not let it ruin your night out. That your obsessiveness was stupid. Irrational even. That Levi had proved your persistent opinions wrong many many times. But like anyone knows with a thought that was born deep under your skin and resides within your tissues, it's very hard to eradicate.

“Would you ever date a girl who is taller than you?” One guy asked, gesturing discreetly in your direction from their spot behind you in line.

“Nah man. I wouldn’t be able to feel like a man. She’s sexy though, so even if I was shorter than her I’d make an exception.” One of the others added with a charm only a teenage boy could find appealing. The rest of their party hummed in agreement.

You tried your absolute hardest to focus on the lively drum beats, the elated stomping of dancers, and the boisterous pops of fire crackers. Yet their uninvited snickers remained replaying through your mind. You attempted to present as unbothered as Levi passed you his corndog. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and gave his shoulders a few lazy rolls.

You were supposed to be enjoying the Festival of the Hearth, supposed to be watching Levi lose to you at the hammer strength game, supposed to be happily eating your coma-inducing fried food, supposed to not let comments like that infringe on your happiness. The mental strain of your last expedition paired with the exhaustion that followed official government meetings left you with a petri dish for growing your insecurity. You knew you didn't need the approval of strangers but it ate away at you nonetheless. The victorious chiming of the bell at the top of the game rang with such force that it pulled you out of your pity party.

“I beat you.” Levi announced and turned back to smirk at you. He accepted the plushie, a creature somewhere between a turtle and a duck, from the carnival worker.

“Yeah, good job!” You exclaimed with forced gusto. When your grin cracked Levi squinted his eyes in suspicion. He regarded you with the sternness of a scolding parent, gaze flitting from you to the group behind you.

“How you let other people’s stupid opinions drag you down still gets to me.” Levi looked up at you with light annoyance. His agitation wasn’t a stab towards you but rather frustration that you couldn’t let these things go.

“What do you mean?” You abruptly answered. The hastiness of your reply was about as convincing as a wilted flower.

“It’s useless to play dumb with me. Why are you listening to random brats? Don’t you do enough of that back at HQ?” Levi chided as he cuffed his sleeves, the plushie held securely in his armpit.

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“No, some people talk too fucking loud.” Levi added, voice like a razor blade. His eyes were a weapon and dug so sharply into the men that they all began to find the neighboring cotton candy machine incredibly visually stimulating. You then hastily pulled Levi to the side to not clog up the line for the game.

“I heard what they said and it shouldn’t matter.” He said as he traded you the food for the plush. It was soft to the touch and looked at you with cold but adorable eyes. Akin to how you would describe those belonging to your love.

“I know. It’s fine, I’m fine.” You assured, hugging the turtle-duck to your chest. You knew too well he wouldn’t pick up the bullshit you were putting down. But, eh, it was worth a try.

He deadpanned and held your gaze so intensely that soon Tesla coils were spinning in the space between the two of you.

“Come on.” He beckoned. His voice was almost too low to hear over the ringing of the carnival games. He weaved the fingers of his free hand with yours so to not lose you as he led you through the hustle and bustle. No words were shared along this walk, allowing all the sensories of the festival to set in. Bodies danced past you in varying frenzies, confetti blasted in sporadic showers from the rooftops, and the artificial lights from the carnival games swept you up and

made you feel like you were in another world. Only a passing hello was exchanged when you briefly bumped into Sasha and Connie in line for the baked potatoes.

Levi parked you at the boardwalk. Plump tulips swayed in time with the music along the base of the railing. The river was alight with wishing lanterns, each one of them twinkling like fallen stars along the rippling water. He unbraided his fingers from yours and gave you that electric look once again.

He turned to you already assured of the outcome of what he was mentally planning.

“Do you wish I was taller?” He inquired nonchalantly. He leaned against the railing and took a bite out of his corn dog.

You huffed, a bit taken aback by his question. When he regarded you with one brow raised, that half smug grin of his made it click. He was trying to get you to realize the absurdity of your worries.

As if you didn’t already know.

“Of course I don’t.” You pouted. The warm light that bobbed from within the floating lanterns danced along your skin, giving you an ethereal glow that briefly made Levi forget what he even asked you. He found your hypocrisy amusingly irritating.

Levi had no self-consciousness about his appearance, for it really didn’t matter to him. He was aware that he was considered “handsome” by you and plenty of others but it was all dirt off his shoulders in the grand scheme of things. The workings of his physicality is what was more important, not its aesthetics.

“What if I said that I hated myself because I am short.” He questioned again. The evenness with which he posed his question did nothing to hide his lack of sincerity. You stared at him like someone who knew they had already lost a bet.

“Well you already hate yourself so-” You responded dryly, attempting to divert the conversation away from your ebbing embarrassment.  Levi rolled his eyes and continued to wait for the response he desired.

“Fine. I would say that it’s dumb to think that way.” You mumbled, resigning to his logic.

Levi’s lips curled. The annoyance that had surrounded him before was dusted off by the soft eyelashes of the night sky. He ditched the remnants of his corn dog in the nearest trashcan and approached you so that only a few inches separated your bodies.

“I would never wish for something as trivial as changing your height. The fact I have to slightly look up at you is one of the most insignificant things in my life.” He stated, tilting his head gently upward to meet your gaze.  His sincerity struck you like an arrow and embedded itself so lovingly within you that it shot all of the pesky doubts right out of your body.

“I know thoughts can get stuck in that brain of yours but focus on what you think of yourself and not what a group of shitheads, or anyone, decides to vomit out of their mouths.” The vulgarity of his sentence made you smile and you nodded in affirmation.

“Thank you, Levi.” You said, letting out one last puff air to rid your body of the sour mood.

He grinned in return, blessing you with one of your favorite sights. Despite feeling like a slight doofus, Levi didn’t belittle you for feeling this way. Moments like these caused the kind man under the marbled facade to peep through and made your chest swell with even more love for him.

“Here, there’s one more thing I want to do to further prove my point.” He said, gesturing towards the wooden booth selling wishing lanterns. Once a few dollars were handed over, the woman behind the counter gave the two of you square pieces of parchment and a pair of quills.

“I can think of a million other things I would rather wish for.” Levi reaffirmed as he dipped the quill in the inkwell.

“Like for the titans to fuck off into oblivion. To make Eren’s asshole the only orphus on his body so I don’t have to deal with his constant screaming. To get Hange to stop asking me for my toenails. Fucking disgusting.” He muttered the last part with a grimace. His attempt to make you laugh had succeeded and his heart bloomed with warmth when he heard you giggle.

“For a bigger bath so we have more room to-” He began casually, instantly being shushed by your finger to his lips. With his lips blocked his eyes smirked instead.

“You can’t write that.” You interjected in disbelief.

“Why not? No one is going to see it. My lantern, my wish.” He replied with a shameless shrug. You shook your head and set down your plushie to start writing your own.

“See? No height changes on this.” Levi declared after a few moments. His sudden display of paper made you quickly conceal yours. Your eyes skimmed over the colorful, yet surprisingly lovely language that dipped you in a feeling as warm as the sugared glaze of the carnival donuts.

“You have a lot of wishes.” You commented. Granted, most of them were obscure and seemed only to be there to lift your spirits.

“This world fucking sucks.” Levi responded as if it was the simplest thing within the walls. You couldn’t completely argue.

“What did you wish for?” Levi prodded as he eyed the paper you held face down to your chest. You defensively folded it in half and closed it within your palm.

“I can’t tell you or else it won’t come true.”

Levi exhaled and pursed his lips.

“You don’t believe that bull do you?”

“I can’t risk it.” You said stubbornly with a playful grin.

“Tell me or I’ll revoke your prize.” Levi urged slyly, nodding down to the turtleduck on the table. You gasped lightly and scooped up the piece of fluff into your embrace.

“You wouldn’t dare separate me from our child.” You accused with feigned offence. Levi looked into those dark, synthetic eyes and huffed.

“We could never produce something as ugly as that creature.” Levi threw back. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from cracking a smile at your exasperated look. He would secretly admit, the animal was actually pretty cute.

“Well for being rude to your daughter you definitely don’t get to know my wish now.” You countered and picked up your lantern and began walking towards the river. You turned to look over your shoulder with an excitement that dismissed the family quarrel.

Amidst hundreds of other festival goers at the river Levi held your lantern as you secured the paper to the inside with yarn. After doing the same for him, you lit the candle near the bottom with a match. The delicate ivory siding of the lantern crackled under your tender touch as you raised yours to the sky. Levi mirrored your movements.

“Ready?” You asked. The two of you looked at each other with unspoken fondness.

“Yeah.”

Then, your chambers of light and worldly prayers slipped past your finger tips and into the cosmos. Two pairs of outstretched palms bid them farewell as they sailed into the galaxy to form a constellation with the thousands of other lanterns that peppered the sky. Those now empty hands were filled with the comfort of each other as they relished in the last few minutes of tranquility before they slipped into the crowd to regroup with the others.

↞♞♘↠

“Alright my girl, we are going to head out now.” Your grandmother announced, wiping her hands on the dish towel and placing it next to the sink. The awake members of the household had gathered in the kitchen before leaving for town.

“Right! I shall start planning out Y/N’s dinner and ours as well.” Felicia said with a determined glint in her eyes. Your grandmother smiled softly at her passionate response.

“Fine, but do not feel obligated to clean anything while I am gone. Although I know you will.” She instructed with a playful sternness. Felicia laughed bashfully before tilting her head in a bow of compliance.

Levi and the old woman’s boots tapped against the porch steps and down towards their awaiting carriage.

“Why don’t you just make her leave if you don’t want her service?” Levi wondered aloud. Your grandmother chuckled gruffly as she lifted herself onto the front seat of the wagon with youthful agility.

“As much as I grumble…” She began with a dreamy sigh. Levi awaited her reply as he heaved himself into the seat next to her, faltering slightly when he had to use his sore shoulder.

“I can’t kick her out because she makes the best schnitzel within these walls.” She confessed, her features glazing over in longing for the immaculately fried breading and juicy pork.  

“So you have something to look forward to when we return.” Your grandmother declared with a crinkle of her eyes and a crack of the reins.

[zuulosdovah]

The Interview: Drakaina Malin

Year 6

Thanks for the tag @phyl-the-gryffinclaw and @sirfluffig!

————————————————————————————————–

What’s your name -> “Drakaina Malin, but just Kaina is fine! Really, the only people who call me Drakaina are my mum when I’m in trouble, and Tulip. Makes talking to Tulip very stressful by association.”

Are you single? ➔ “No. Yes...? It’s... Uh, it’s complicated. Can we talk about something else?”

Are you happy? ➔ “Like, in general? Sure. Yeah! Someone’s gotta be the eternal optimist, right?”

Are you angry? ➔ “Not right now, but... far more often than I used to be, if my friends are to be believed. I don’t know. I don’t see it.”

Are your parents still married? ➔ “That’s... also complicated. Yes. I think. But my dad moved away when I was nine and we haven’t really seen him since, so... yeah. I don’t think they really know either.”

-

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ “Somewhere in England. I think. I’m not sure. London? It was probably London.”

hair color ➔ “Blonde as can be. Dad must have some crazy strong genes, because both me and my brother are blonde, even though mum has black hair.”

eye color ➔ “Baby blue. Got dad to thank for that one too.”

birthday ➔ “Today! 16th of January! Congrats to me!”

mood ➔ “Pretty good! Which is good for you, really, otherwise this interview would probably be very short.”

gender ➔ “Girl. I don’t know what it is about me that makes everyone think I’m a bloke! Is it the hair? It is, isn’t it?”

summer or winter ➔ “Winter. I like basking in the sun as much as the next guy, but there’s just something so good about snow. And christmas! And good food, and piles and piles of blankets, and hot cocoa. And not having to go home over the break.”

morning or afternoon ➔ “Afternoon. Once the classes are all over and you get to do whatever.”

-

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ “I... Yeah. Yeah, I think I am, still.”

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ “Not as such. I believe in really intense crushes, for sure. Been there a few times. But love isn’t really something you can just find, especially not at a glance. It’s gotta be made, ya know? Takes time.”

who ended your last relationship ➔ “Remains to be seen, yeah?”

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “I sure hope not. Have I? That’d be terrible, considering I wouldn’t know about it. Mum’s, probably. She doesn’t count though."

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “Nah, not really.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “For sure! I’m pretty sure I’ve hugged all my friends at least once this week, with varying degrees of success and hugs back. They need to know I appreciate them though.”

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “If I do, they’ve been very secretive about it.”

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “It happens from time to time when you wear it on your sleeve like I do. Don’t regret it, though. High risk, high reward.”

-

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Love. Does anyone actually pick lust for this one?”

lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Iced tea!"

cats or dogs ➔ “Cats, for sure. I’m a little biased.”

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ “Both. What, I can’t pick both? That’s dumb. I guess... a few best friends then.”

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ “Wild! Night! Out! - Wild! Night! Out!”

day or night ➔ “Well, they both have their benefits, but I think I’m gonna have to go with day. Less sneaking about, more people awake, warmer, louder.”

-

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “Once or twice... a month. There are no animagus powers that can save you when you're stuck halfway through a fake step in the Grand Staircase. Last time, Professor Snape found me, and he left me there overnight as punishment.”

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ “Remember that thing I said just now about getting stuck in fake steps? Yeah, the Grand Staircase is the worst.”

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “Oh, you know... I wouldn’t have spent nearly half my life looking for my brother if I didn’t feel like a part of me was missing. It’s fine, though. I have Bill and Orion. The hurt comes and goes.”

wanted to disappear ➔ “Haven’t we all?”

-

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “Can I say both? You know, when people smile so wide their eyes squint together and you know they probably can’t see, because they’re smiling too much? Or when they smile just a little bit, but you can tell it’s genuine, because it makes the eyes crinkle? That’s the best.”

shorter or taller ➔ “Mate, I’m 161. 5′3. I don’t really have a preference, but then again, I don’t have much of a choice either.”

intelligence or attraction ➔ “No love for a kind heart and a good sense of humor? No? Hm. Attraction, then, I s’pose.”

hook-up or relationship ➔ “Relationship, no question.”

-

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ “Me and mum can’t be in the same room without screaming at each other. I haven’t seen my dad since I was nine. And Jacob... Let’s just say things have been better.”

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ At this question Ms Malin starts laughing uncontrollably, nearly reducing herself to tears. It becomes clear that’s about all the answer we’re going to get, so we decide to move on.

have you ever run away from home ➔ “No. Not for a lack of trying, mind you. I’m pretty sure the Weasleys would take me in if I made it to the Burrow. I could steal Bill’s old room. Or maybe the Khannas?”

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “Mum would never let that happen. Locked in, on the other hand? Now there’s an idea.”

-

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ “No! What? No. I couldn’t. That stuff festers. I’d be lashing out within a week and then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore.”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Some friends are closer than others, for sure, but yeah! They’re all good friends.”

who is your best friend ➔ “Rowan, Ethren and Be... Uh, just Rowan and Ethren, I s’pose.”

who knows everything about you ➔ “I think I’m keeping that to myself. They know who they are. That’s all that matters.”

[genesisarclite]

Constants and Variables, Pt. VII

This chapter was a lot of fun. I laid out the rough outline first, changed my mind more than once about what would happen, then went back and spent a couple hours rewriting and expanding it. I wanted it to have a... surreal quality, like a waking dream, so I would recommend listening to something similar to this while reading, as it’s the kind of music I listened to while writing it.

note: Melanie and Kris were inspired by the krogan bickering about “Presidium fish” from Mass Effect 2. it’s a silly aside to ground this story’s increasingly surreal atmosphere. 

For over a week, Morgan didn’t appear. Jason worried, sitting at his desk and staring at his terminal without seeing, while Mika, sometimes joining everyone else in the cafe, asked once where he was. Alex didn’t turn up, either. The doctors and nurses and technicians could say nothing about what had happened. Aislinn went about her rounds, and she got very good at keeping her mind off the vice president and on her tasks. The question of “where is Morgan” only rose to her lips once, when she had to visit the trauma center after slicing herself open by accident, but the nurse couldn’t answer her, only giving her a hopeless look while he patched the wound.

During that week, she didn’t bring boxes to his office, as Jason turned her away every time she approached the keypad. She worked in silence around him, noting the creases in his forehead. Whatever happy spark she’d known before was gone, a sensation shared by other execs and high-ranked personnel she came across.

By the time the end of her shift rolled around and the weekend had come, exhaustion led to her collapsing in her pod and sleeping for six straight hours.

When she woke at midnight, the sheets were tossed about and her stomach empty, so she got up.

She had never wandered around Talos this late, when the majority of employees were asleep. Most of the lights in Crew Quarters were turned low and soft, aside from some safety lighting and ambient illumination in the corners. She followed the hall past the mid-level suites, moving as quietly as she could manage, the hall lit only by recessed lights, most of the nooks filled by thick shadows that seemed to waver around her, as though slinking about, predatory. Even the central lobby lacked its normal luminance, fingers of shadow forming where the lights did not reach and slinking their way up to the tall ceiling, so dark that it looked like a gaping maw staring down at her.

It unnerved her; she hunched her shoulders on instinct, eyes darting back and forth, questioning her sanity in choosing to leave the relative safety of the pods.

The Moon and Sun were out of sight, bathing the station in darkness.

Her work boots made soft thumps on the plush carpet as she ascended the wide staircase to the Yellow Tulip balcony. All of the large lamps that usually shed brilliant golden light upon the balcony were shut off, leaving only the safety lights in the corners and along the walls. None of it quite reached the ceiling here, either, and so she walked through a haze of darkness, picking her way past flowers closed up for the night.

She looked left through the huge windows of the bar to see most of the lights turned off there, as well, aside from the faint red light of Tizzy as it floated about, tending to things here and there.

The threshold of the bar was dark; she hesitated and looked all around, rubbing her arms. The shadows were so deep in places that she felt as though something hid there, waiting for her to walk past before leaping out. The moment she let her guard down, she would be lost to the darkness.

Nerves, she told herself, but her eyes flicked back and forth all the same.

She crossed the threshold, receiving a welcoming beep from Tizzy, but it otherwise left her alone – programmed not to disturb the night shift, perhaps. In the corner, Duncan left a box for night workers to pick from if they needed a snack; she opened it and picked out a can of green tea, now at room temperature, and a bag of tomato jerky. The box was mostly full, so she didn’t worry too much about eating from it tonight.

As she sat down at a side booth, she heard the sound of a pair of footsteps approaching and glanced over to see two night workers, both women, one with light brown straight hair and the other with much darker curls. She recognized them right away as Melanie and Kris, maintenance crew who kept odd hours. They both had engineering expertise, so they rarely had an Operator in tow, and always hung around together. From what she’d been able to gather, they bickered quite a bit, yet they were good friends, and their sniping never seemed too hostile.

The curly-haired woman carried a lamp in one hand, spilling a pool of blue-white light before her. It reflected off the glass and metal of the bar, scattering it in wild patterns all around. Aislinn moved a little closer to the wall. Something about the scattered light and inky shadows disturbed her, in a primal sort of fashion, but she couldn’t place why. It made no sense – she had only been afraid of the dark as a small child, and had welcomed it when she could on Earth, enjoying the sights and sounds that came with the world’s night.

Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling. Removing a glove, she rubbed at the injection site over her eye.

The light bobbed around, disembodied, before Kris hung it on a loop jutting from the wall. The pool now bathed both women in light, casting enormous copies of their bodies in black, sharp-edged ink on the walls. “Duncan said it was back here.” Kris knelt at the back of the bar wall and withdrew a flat-headed screwdriver, which she proceeded to wedge between two panels. The screwdriver glittered in the light like a metal fang. “Gotta just pop this off.”

“I’ve got a crowbar on me. Might work better?”

“Yeah, probably. Gimme.”

Aislinn opened the bag of jerky and popped open the can. Neither sound disturbed the engineers, too busy were they at the panel to pay her any mind. Tizzy floated out from behind the bar, stared at them for a minute, then went back to whatever it had been up to, out of sight once more. The smell of green tea and ham-flavored tomatoes mingled and made her wrinkle her nose – it reminded her a little of poor-quality dog food.

“So, Kris,” Melanie said, dropping to one knee, “heard anything about Morgan?”

“No. Figured if he’s dead, they’ll tell us. Hold here.”

“I just hope he’s okay.” Melanie gripped the edge of the panel while Kris pried at it from the other side. “It bothers me so much, knowing he got hurt, but not knowing how he’s doing. Some of the other people I’ve talked to, they're just as bad. Some are really worried. Do you know Jason Chang, Morgan’s secretary? He’s not sleeping.”

“Morgan’ll be fine, I’m sure.” Kris popped the panel off. It clattered to the ground. “Why’s there another one back here?”

“You think they’d tell us if he was dead?”

“Melanie, I know you’re fascinated with Morgan. I really don’t care to hear about it right now.” Kris shoved the panel to the side and bent down further before laying flat on her stomach and turning over onto her back.

Melanie shook her head. “Can you blame me? And don’t be so insensitive, Kris. He’s the vice president. People are gonna worry, and that’s okay. I’m not as worried as some, but I still am. Can’t imagine how Alex feels...”

“I seriously don’t get your hype.”

Melanie’s lips curved into a faint smile. “Very funny.” Pause. “Wait, you don’t?”

“No.”

“Kris, have you seen him? Especially when he’s... well, working out?”

“No.”

“You’d get it if you did. Those workout clothes are something to die for on him. They let you see everything. He has some really wide shoulders, and a real deep chest. It’s good reason to work out more, just to see that. And that voice...”

“Don’t care. Hand me that wrench.”

“It’s like... melting butter. No, wait, fondue, over butter.” Melanie blinked, then muttered, “Does that work?”

“I really don’t get how you think it’s okay to fantasize about your boss.”

Aislinn took a swig of the tea and studied the bag of the bag. Since the day she had arrived, she’d heard other women fawn over Morgan, but not one had ever dared attempt to get close enough to do anything about it. None were as close as her, not even the female techs he worked alongside – at least, as far as she knew. He was the object of many a wandering eye, just far enough out of reach to be a true fantasy.

How many of those women knew she worked close with him, been seen with him, spoken extensively with him? Would they be jealous of her, or would they just not even care?

“He’s not exactly my boss. Besides, it’s not like I ever talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with appreciating him from afar, you know. His eyes are so gorgeous, you know? Color of dark chocolate. Could stare at them for hours.”

Kris growled at the second panel before popping it off. “Cool.”

“Those eyes, that voice, make me wanna–”

“Stopping there is a good idea. Ah, here’s the break he told us about. Tizzy! Shut off the tap for me over there!”

Tizzy beeped an acknowledgment. Something squeaked.

“Cool. Okay, let’s see if we can...” The wrench slipped out of her hand and banged on the fallen panel, drawing another curse from the woman. She contorted her body to avoid having to sit up, ending with a comical pose of her folded nearly sideways and stretching out with one arm, snagging the wrench with her fingertips, then carefully dragging it inch by inch back over until she could return to her original pose.

“These uniforms are pretty tight, and when he walks by... have you ever looked at him from behind?”

Kris sounded pained when she said, “Stop.”

“You can really see how much he works out when you look at him from the back. The way that bu–”

“I have a screwdriver, Melanie.”

Melanie toyed with the panel on the floor a moment. “He kind of... I don’t know, sashays when he walks. In a very, very manly way, mind you. Makes it real hard not to see he got the boo–”

“Screwdriver I has, Melanie.”

Aislinn concentrated on not choking on a mouthful of jerky. It was inappropriate to talk about the vice president that way, of course, but Melanie didn’t seem to care one whit. It was an appreciated distraction, though – a bit of humor in the middle of the night, drawing her mind away from its worries for a little while.

And Melanie only voiced the lingering thoughts in the back of her mind. While she’d never fantasized that way, nor had she ever looked him over very extensively, she wasn’t blind to his attractiveness. With the way he carried himself, the confident swagger and the cool, steady eyes, he wasn’t either.

“Oh, c’mon, Kris, you can look.”

“Apparently I gotta remind you of my fiance back on Earth, which I’m, y’know, due to visit in two months. Look, I already got the best guy in the universe to fantasize about. Drooling over our boss isn’t how I wanna spend my time. Now shut up and hand me that other wrench. Other wrench. Other wrench. Thank you.”

“Kris, he’s really sexy and you know it.”

“No, he’s attractive to some people, and I'm not one of ‘em.” Kris popped a piece of pipe off and inspected it under a light that hung from her utility belt a moment. “Go fabricate me one of these,” she said, slapping the pipe into Melanie’s hand and nudging her knee with one foot. “Go on, go.”

Melanie stood and swiped her hair behind one ear – not pulled back like it was supposed to be, maybe because there wasn’t anyone around who cared that it didn’t fit regulation. She then turned on her heel and speed-walked out, leaving Kris on her back and staring at the ceiling in silence for a long time. In the dim glow of the safety lighting, it was hard to make out more than the basics of her expression, but she seemed content to just lie there a bit.

“Sorry about Melanie,” she said suddenly, picking her head up to look at Aislinn. “She’s probably mid-cycle.”

Knowing to what she referred, Aislinn hid her smile. “It’s cool. I got it.”

“Glad you do.” She dropped her head back.

Aislinn was halfway done with the bag of jerky when Melanie returned, handing the fresh pipe piece to Kris. The curly-haired woman then set to work putting it back in place, fiddling with the fittings on either end until a piece of sealant fell off in a crumbly mess. Muttering curses, Kris produced a tube of sealant from her belt pouch, screwed the pipe in, and carefully applied a line of the stuff to the gap that had resulted.

“How could you not be attracted to him? I mean, it’s like somebody whipped up a batch of pure hotness with him.”

“Melanie, I swear on all that is good...”

“You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about it, or noticed. He’s just so–”

“I don’t care.”

“But he’s just so sexy. You’ve got weird taste.”

Kris finished sealing the pipe and inspected the rest of it. When more of the old sealant crumbled off, she muttered something and produced a small brush with stiff bristles, sweeping most of the remaining stuff away. “No.”

“You’re such a liar and you know it.”

“He’s shorter than me. And he’s younger than both of us. Quit acting like a lovestruck teen.”

“So? Shorter doesn’t mean anything. He’s smart, he’s hot, and he’s got a voice that could melt butter just from being in the same room with him. Look, I’m not the only woman who–”

“You’d sooner find a gold nugget under your pillow tomorrow morning than get him to pay attention to you.”

This time, Melanie hesitated before saying, “I... I know. All of us do.”

“Then why bother with the impossible?”

The woman shook her head again, hair sifting around her shoulders. The light scattered on the individual hairs, making them glitter like silver strands. The dance of light and shadow drew Aislinn’s eye, making her skin prickle. What was wrong with her tonight? Had something woken her, and she just couldn’t remember it?

“Alright, you win.” Melanie shifted her weight, running a fingertip across the floor. “I’m done.”

Aislinn carefully sealed what was left of the jerky and rolled up the bag, drained the rest of the can, and crushed it into a metal pancake before making her way out.

She took the can to the recycler and carried the jerky with her, but didn’t return to her pod, instead wandering into the darkened Rec Center to see what she else she could find. Everything was still, the massive television in the main seating area off, and only a few safety lights had been left on, providing just enough luminance for her to avoid stumbling around. Ignoring the stairs to the upper floor, she instead stood in the darkness for a while, arms folded, leaning against the wall, and gazed out into the main seating area in silent wonder.

The station always seemed to be brimming with life. Even now, when the shadows were long and thick, and the lights were low, she could still somehow feel the sensation of life, humming through the metal and the ever-present breeze brushing across her cheeks and through her hair. The night crew was fastidious and discreet, flitting from shadow to shadow as they worked. Even the Operators seemed to have been programmed to keep quiet, their machine songs kept to a minimum, and the station slept in peaceful quiet otherwise. It felt like a warm blanket, enveloping her and beckoning her to sleep, and the longer she stood there, the quieter her mind became, until her eyelids felt heavy.

Yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that every single shadow watched it – formless, ethereal creatures, creeping along walls and ceilings, waiting for her to turn her back so they could pull her down into the darkness. Something had awoken her, she reasoned, but no matter how deep she delved into her memory, whatever dreams she’d had before waking would not return her searching. Perhaps it had been a nightmare. Perhaps it had been nothing.

It took a minute, but she made out a shape, human, on the sofa in front of the darkened television, barely visible as a dim gray outline against the black.

Her chest tightened in a swift contraction, pulse skipping, a quick intake of breath rasping down her throat, and she took a swift step backward. The suit bumped the wall before her body did, a dull thud that seemed too loud in the silence. Pulse rapid in her chest, she tried to regain control of her breathing.

For a moment – just a moment – she had slipped into some dreamlike state where every shadow was a demon.

Something had awoken her that night. But what?

Her skin prickled, and her footsteps, even dulled by the carpet, seemed far too loud, breaking the beautiful silence.

“If you’re trying to be discreet, I heard you when you first came in.”

The voice sent a jolt up her spine. The spark spread to the tips of her fingers, where they curled and uncurled at her sides. The leather of her gloves made quiet creaking sounds. She walked slowly over to the sofa and sat down on the other end, staring at the gray shape, searching for his features.

He moved then, to the corner, and switched on another safety light. Its warm golden glow provided just enough light to make out his features when he sat back down.

Seeing him again was like being punched in the stomach, hard enough to knock the wind out of her. She remembered sitting with her head in her hands, panicking until she couldn’t breathe anymore. Whatever she was to him, she knew what he had become to her, and it scared her half to death, because he was her boss, the vice president... and she had to force herself not to stare at him, not to think, not to dream. Not to want.

Because she could appreciate his features and his attention, but anything more than that–

Even to herself, she sounded like a broken record.

“Was wonderin’ how you were.”

Morgan studied her a long time, sleepy, arm resting on the back of the sofa, body canted at an angle that told her he just wanted to curl up right there and go to sleep. Except for a bit of darkness under his eyes, he seemed fine, the bruise gone from above his eye, hair back to its usual cut. “Couldn’t sleep. Bad dreams.” His brow wrinkled, lips pursing, but the expression vanished a few beats later. “It’s quiet here. Helps me think.”

“Right.” Her hands fiddled in her lap as she tried to look polite, studying him, tracing the angular bone structure and the distinct slant of each eye, the way his hair fell over his forehead in a sweep of deep brown. The strands shone gold in the light, a play of light and darkness, unsettling her all over again. The conflict of his familiar presence and the cold, deep darkness of the strange shadows made it difficult to focus.

And unfortunately, the sleepy, intimate atmosphere made it very, very difficult to ignore how very alone they were.

He blinked, leaning slightly toward her, then said, “I know you.”

She chewed the inside of her lip. “Well, I’m–”

“Wait, please.” His voice was soft, almost too low to hear, and it fit the ambiance perfectly – sweet, sleepy, warm, inviting, far from the cold eyes and metal walls she’d encountered before.

It sent a shiver up her spine.

“I know you.” The words came out a little raspy. “I do. I know you, but... I don’t know how I know you. Who... what... are you to me? How long have I known you?”

She ran her tongue over her teeth. “Aislinn Kelly, part of the maintenance sector. I stock things, like your office.”

“You stock... my office.” The frown deepened. “My office. Have we spoken before?”

Lie, her mind said. Her mouth said, “Lots of times.”

“Yes. Yes, we have. Aislinn.” Recognition spread across his features. “I... it seems I know you from a previous trial or two. I had the same sense of deja vu when I ran into some of the–” He clamped his mouth shut and looked away from her.

“I know about the trials,” she said. “Told me when you first started ‘em.”

His eyes returned to hers. “What else did I tell you?”

The breath she took this time felt chilly in her lungs. “That you wanna play the piano, and you like caramel-flavored coffee. This and that, really. That your...” Did she need to tell him this? But maybe it would be enough to convince him, and then she could leave, and sleep in peace until the station’s “dawn” arrived. “That... your middle name is Tyler, and that you don’t much like it, so you don’t go tellin’ people it.”

In the light, his eyes shone, the shadows falling across his features as soft as his voice. “You’re right, I’m not keen on telling people that name. That means... you’ve been close, to me, throughout these trials, one of the constants.”

“In a sea of variables, yeah. But I wouldn’t say... ah, ‘close’ is the right word...”

“But it’s good we ran into each other again.” He settled back into the sofa. “I’m here not just because the dreams woke me up, but also to get away from my brother. He worries, way too much. I’m still his ‘little brother’.” Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back. The light now fell across his throat and outlined his jaw – a line she followed, not unwillingly, with her wandering and appreciative eyes, down to where it melted into the uniform.

“You look like you need more sleep,” she said.

“Sleep will come later. Thinking comes now.” He folded his hands in his lap, the corner of his lips turning up. “I’ve run into you a lot, haven’t I? The trials have been going on for a long time.”

She uncurled her fingers and took a deep breath. It was just Morgan. “And I’m in your office, stackin’ things and catching you hunched over somethin’ every time, usually two or three times a week. Haven’t been up recently, since you went AWOL on us. Can’t tell me about that, though, right?”

Deep breath and soft exhale. “No, sorry.”

“Not surprised,” she muttered, lowering her head into one hand as she propped that elbow on a knee. “Funny we both couldn’t sleep and all. Didn’t have bad dreams, but I just slept for six straight hours and just... woke up. At least...” Without meaning to, she looked around again. “...I don’t think I dreamed, but I don’t... know for sure.”

“But keeping odd hours isn’t a bad thing.”

“Not... no, not usually,” she said with a nod, “but I don’t normally wake up like this.”

“You sound a little distressed. Something bothering you?”

Again, she looked around. “N... no, I’m just fine.”

“Aislinn,” he said, “you wouldn’t be jumping at shadows, literally, if you were.”

For a moment, she closed her eyes, gathering herself. She could trust him, she knew she could. The only thing holding her back was herself, and no shame existed within the desire to be comforted. “Just... the shadows, like you said. Somethin’ about them doesn’t feel right, like they’re... looking at me.”

Something flashed through his eyes as the skin around them tightened. “Looking at you?”

“I... I just... no, it’s fine. Fine.”

Without blinking, he scrutinized her, the safety light reflecting in the depths of his eyes – a golden star, suspended in the cold blackness of space, the only source of warmth. Nothing of what he thought came to the surface otherwise. She couldn’t read him, and felt unnerved by his ability to read her.

Or perhaps she was being far too obvious, and he only perceived the surface.

“Like predators,” he murmured, “climbing on the walls and ceilings, watching you, with black teeth and claws. You can’t them, but they see you. Waiting for you to turn your back. Waiting to devour you.”

Aislinn blinked, unable to think of a response.

“I know how you feel.”

Ice water ran down her spine. “Don’t wanna talk about it. I don’t. Tell me something else. Anythin’ else.”

Morgan seemed to understand, though his eyes were thick with curiosity and something else she couldn’t quite make out, before he settled back into the couch once more. “Did I ever talk much about Alex?” he said. “I’m younger than him, you see, by five and a half years. We’ve always been close, and when Mom and Dad were running off to do whatever it was they did all over the world, representing TranStar, we still had each other. I’m old enough to take care of myself, and he still acts protective, like I’m just a kid. He’s been so worried about me lately.”

Remembering what he’d told her in the cafeteria all that time ago, she smiled a little. “He’s a good brother, then.”

“The best I could hope for.” Pause, then he lifted his head and looked at her. “Have any family?”

“Yeah, a sister and my Mum. Dad died a long while back.”

He hesitated, then said, “Anyone else?”

Just as before, the meaning was clear, but now, the words felt different. The only way she could think of to describe it was “warmer”, and she didn’t know how to interpret it. But she knew how she wanted to. “No one waitin’ back home besides my parents,” she said. “Been living with them to help pay bills and all. Not exactly high class, y’see, not like you.”

“Don’t think of me like that. I’m just Morgan.”

“Easier said.” She slid off the sofa and stretched her spine. “Should get goin’.”

“Aislinn...” Shifting position, he looked at her. “...I appreciate familiar faces. Alex, Jason, you, the neuromod techs... they're all familiar to me when I ‘wake up’. I know I’ve seen all of you before, even if I don’t remember it. You might be at the bottom rung of the ladder, but you’re more important than you know.”

“Only to you,” she said, feeling her ears burn. Did she seriously say that?

“Well... yes. We’re running trials and tests that will reshape the future of mankind, and I’m the guinea pig. I signed up for it, knowing the risks, knowing about the memory loss. We’re building a future so incredible that the people who come after us will never know the problems we have, but it’s daunting. To have familiarity is... comforting. I... I wish I could tell you what we’ve been working on. It’s exciting. It’s the future.”

“Happened to be in the right place at the right time,” she said, trying to ignore the heat creeping over her ears and cheeks. “It could’ve easily been someone else.”

“True, yes, but why would you want to devalue what you are to me right now?”

Those words hung between them for only a few seconds, but it seemed longer. She knew what he meant, but what she wanted to hear was hardly something she felt like admitting. She was just a friend to him, no matter how she felt about him, and in the end, the gap between them was simply insurmountable. As long as she didn’t ever act on the feelings that curled and knotted inside her, they could stay secret.

But he was making it increasingly difficult, and he probably didn’t mean to, but in the low light, with only his gentle voice reaching out to her, she couldn’t ignore how it made her feel.

“Morgan, when you were... out...” A hand ran across her hair, pushing the bangs away from her face. “I was worried.”

The silence hung between them a while. “A lot of people were, especially my brother.”

“Sure. You’re the vice president of TranStar.”

Pause. “Yes. I am. But you make it sound like that’s the only reason anyone should care if I live or die. You don’t think anyone cares on a personal level?” Another, longer pause. “Do you care?”

She frowned. “I... of course. You’re a colleague.”

“Aislinn, don’t be like that.”

“Well, I can’t go callin’ you ‘friend’, now.” The words came out sharper than intended.

“Why not?” He rose from the sofa and moved closer. “Because we happen to be from two different social classes? Come on, Aislinn, those kinds of things don’t matter anymore. Or what, is it because I’m the vice president, and you happen to be part of the maintenance crew? That shouldn’t interfere with a friendship, not ever.”

“May– maybe.” Beginning to relent, she met his eyes when he stepped a little closer. They were the color of dark chocolate, silly as the description was. So deep. So beautiful. So intelligent. “I guess not.”

“Things on Talos are pretty horizontal,” he said. “No one will care if I make friends outside the execs. Not even Alex.”

At her sides, her hands flexed, then went to her hips. “Alright, Morgan, you win.”

“Win.” He smiled faintly. “I asked you to call me that, didn’t I?”

“What, ‘Morgan’? Yeah.”

Again fell silence, though not so uncomfortable this time. She moved enough to pluck the bag of jerky off the sofa, where she’d left it when she sat down, but went back to a folded-arms, back-straight pose and not looking at him. If she left now, she wouldn’t think about him, wouldn’t close her eyes and see him smiling back at her, wouldn’t feel a little self-satisfied at the realization that the women who fantasized would never be in the position she was now.

“You’re not supposed to be rememberin’ things,” she said, almost in a whisper. “Neurmods’re supposed to take out all the memories. Keepin’ things isn’t in the contract when you get ‘em installed.”

“I know, but they’re not... memories. They’re more like... echoes.”

“But you’re not supposed to have ‘em.”

“I’m the first person to do long-term testing of neuromods, the first to deal with frequent uninstalls and reinstalls, and the first to be cognizant of everything that’s happening. Yes, side effects can be weird, but if you saw what we were doing, you’d understand why it’s so important.” He folded his arms. “But I know what’s supposed to be what.”

She still didn’t look at him. “Okay.”

Again, silence, then, “Come find me in the cafeteria in the morning. We can talk more then.”

Just a friend. “But you can’t tell me much, Morgan. What good’s it do?”

“Do you ever think that, maybe, I just want company?”

She hesitated. “That... depends.”

“Depends on what?”

Not sure how to explain herself without sounding foolish, she finally looked at him. “Never mind.”

“Aislinn–”

“I said ‘never mind’.”

Looking taken aback, he blinked, once, twice, before hmming and turning his back. “Are you working tomorrow?”

“No, no shifts tomorrow. Got a whole weekend scheduled off for once.”

“Must be nice.”

She stared a moment. “You’re stayin’ up, then?”

“For a little while.”

“Morgan, c’mon, you need sleep. Bad dreams won’t be back.”

Instead of responding, he switched off the light again and sat down. It took a bit for her eyes to readjust enough to see his dim outline, and he wasn’t looking at her. When she still got no response, she turned and left the area, trying to set each step down gently enough not to disturb the peaceful silence.

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Aislinn hesitated, looking over her shoulder at his outline, but from this distance – nearer the poker table and one of the big safety lights – it was too far to make out any real details. She didn’t like the weight behind those words. If he remembered her, and other people, even if vaguely, what else did he remember?

By the time she returned to her pod, she felt groggy enough to rest, so she rolled down the shutter and went back to sleep.

For a few minutes, anyway, before a sound roused her again.

Her eyes flicked open to a habitation pod zone full of thick shadows, tinged faintly purple. They wavered at the edges as though ruffled by a breeze she couldn’t feel as she swung her legs over and listened. Dead silence greeted her, except for a faint hissing sound at the edge of her hearing. In the other pods, she spied faint outlines of people, all of them asleep. Most other items in the area – the lockers and pool table, mostly – were smaller than usual, and there were fewer lockers.

Or were there? Maybe there had only ever been those many, and she just hadn’t noticed.

She slid out of the pod and landed gently, despite being up in the second row, without having to climb down like usual, a nice change from the usual rattling of joints that accompanied an exit.

Her footsteps were soft, legs slow, as though moving them through water instead of air. Her limbs felt heavy, and she saw everywhere at once, things she had never seen, the ceiling and shapes and faces. The hissing sound, ever present, changed slightly, dipping and rising and swerving, as though trying to form words. The shadows moved, still present wherever she looked, all of them still gazing at her as though she were prey.

The door was quite far from the pods to Crew Quarters, but in moments, despite her slow steps, she was in front of it and stepping over the threshold. The hall was shorter than usual, maybe half the normal length, and the lobby beyond well-lit, the purplish tinge now wavering at the edges of the shadows, but everything else seemed normal.

The hissing grew louder. They want to live inside us like a disease.

She looked all around, searching for the source of the raspy voice, but still heard nothing, so she continued on, toward the cafeteria. The journey was oddly short, yet her legs still moved as though weighed down by lead, every step laborious, her breath coming in deep, slow inhales. She smelled nothing at all, which seemed odd, as the Talos air always carried some scent of another part of the station with it.

The cafeteria looked normal, well-lit, the windows showing the normal panorama of the stars. Aislinn hesitated, then moved closer, ascending the stairs to the second floor, step by slow, arduous step, and stood in front of one of the enormous windows. It seemed odd, no Sun, only the night side of the Moon visible, and no Earth at all, but she thought nothing of it, trying to ignoring the hissing as she gazed into the cold blackness.

Maybe it was morning, and that’s why the lights were on. She hadn’t checked the time.

Her eyes moved from the stars to examine the void. She didn’t normally spend time looking between the stars. It was too deep, too cold, too far, too strange. Right now, though, she found it impossible to look away, compelled to stare. Far beyond her sight, beyond their most powerful instruments, lay an entire galaxy, a universe, of wondrous possibilities, unspeak

The darkness looked back at her in ponderous silence.

Aislinn leaned closer to the glass and pressed a hand to it. Her hand lacked a glove, and the glass felt very cold against her skin – strange, because it never did, but she ignored it for now. The darkness tugged at her, beckoning her to look deeper, and she felt it stare at her, into her eyes, into her mind and her soul.

The distinct feeling of something being there, that she couldn’t see, watching without being watched, left her cold.

Something is there. Something is absolutely there, looking at her.

Aislinn, suddenly afraid, felt a strong urge to look away, but had frozen in place, mind urging her body to move, but it did not obey, joints locked, the darkness pouring into her until she trembled head to toe. The hissing grew louder, words wandering in and out of her mind, and the longer she looked, the more the terror grew, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came, jaw moving in an unnatural fashion.

I looked into the darkness, and the darkness looked back at me.

There’s something swimming in the black.

I see you.

Her body cracked to pieces when she finally turned. A humanoid shape approached, its outline like smoke, its limbs facsimiles made of shadow. From the top of the stairs, it came toward her, formless but for the dim outline, until two white lights appeared where the head should be, spaced apart like eyes, but they were not eyes, they couldn’t be, because eyes didn’t look like that. Tendrils of smoke and shadow stretched out.

A third white light appeared below the other two, but it just grew, ever larger, too large for the head, but the head expanded into an enormous shadow that closed off all the artificial light from that direction. The maw glowed, but emitted no light, casting nothing despite its ever-increasing size.

Then it distorted, twisting, the glow breaking up into streaks of white interspersed with darkness.

Her chest hurt and her limbs shook as it came closer, the light gaping at her as the shadows reached for her. She tried to run, scream, anything, but her body would not obey her.

–immortality immortality humanity better stronger faster smarter immortal immortality immortality immortality immortality stronger better smarter IMMORTALITY–

Faint color rushed back into the world, and she cried out, tangled in something that snagged her arms and legs like a cocoon. It kept her prisoner in a box of metal, shadows still trying to wrap around her, but they began to fade. Her pulse hammered in her chest, breath coming in short, panicked gasps. Something clanged when she kicked out, the cocoon wrapped so tight around her that she panicked more, thrashing about, the mysterious paralysis finally gone.

“Aislinn! Aislinn! Hey! Aislinn!”

And after those few seconds of pure panic, she snapped into full wakefulness, the hissing shutting off like a thrown switch and the shadows gone. The blankets of her pod had become tangled around her legs, but a quick tug loosened them as the shutter for her pod suddenly rolled up, exposing a concerned female face framed in dark blonde hair, large eyes sparkling in the safety lighting as they studied her.

Aislinn felt her ears burn, but quickly dismissed her embarrassment. She hadn’t actively invited an episode of disturbed sleep, and certainly had wished no nightmares upon herself. “I’m okay now.”

“That was a pretty weird scream, you know.” It was Annalise Gallegos, someone she’d met in passing more than once, but knew little about. She didn’t even know the other woman’s position, only that she shared the habitation pod zone with her, and had barely spoken to her otherwise. “You okay, then?”

Aislinn glanced around to see several other curious faces and a few annoyed ones. “Yeah, just nightmares.”

Annalise frowned. “Nightmares, huh? This happen often?”

“No, first time I had one on Talos.”

The woman was silent for a long time. The faces went back to their pillows, shutters closing. “Well, okay. If you have more, go talk to Kohl, okay? He specializes in that sort of thing.”

“Thanks. Think I’m fine now.”

Annalise climbed down and walked away to her pod, while Aislinn laid down and tried to sleep, but the fear of going back to the nightmare realm of violet shadows and smoky demons kept her awake until the day began in earnest.

[yourkeeperoftherunners]

Hello R2!

Plot: AU My friends and I are on vacation and they saw you pass them by while heading to the pool. I wanted to head up and sleep off the jet lag, but my friends convince me to go down to the hotel pool to see you in your cute R2-D2 swimsuit. At first I think they’re messing with me because I’m a huge Star Wars nerd, but once I see you trying to shove off thirsty male guests, I wanna run up, change, and show I’m a serious fan like you. Are you the droid I’m looking for?

Rating: PG-13 (Minor language, flirting)

Characters: Suho x Female Reader, Baekhyun, Xiumin, Chen

Notes: Based on a real swimsuit I own and a passing thought. This is an AU if the guys were normal individuals traveling somewhere on a break and happened to be staying at the same hotel as the reader. (No mention of their real life careers or fame.) Corresponding moodboard can be found here. Dedicating this one to @oh-beyond – it was too tempting to not write it.

“Yaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! Spring break – finaaaaaallllllyyy!” Baekhyun whooped as he threw his arms up.

“Hey watch your arms!” Chen snapped as he dodged Baekhyun’s outstretched right arm. “I’d like to start my break without a black eye, thanks to you!”

Baekhyun stuck his tongue out at Chen and Xiumin rolled his eyes as he watched them in the rear view mirror. “Hey you two, don’t start a fight in the backseat or else I’ll make you drive.” He cast a quick glance over at Suho who was looking back and forth from his phone to the road. “How much further to the hotel?”

Suho showed him the path and murmured that they needed to drive straight for 1.5 miles before turning left at the next intersection. He stifled a yawn and shifted in his seat, trying to stay alert.

“You could nap you know?” Chen spoke up as he leaned forward. “Just give me your phone – I’ll guide us the rest of the way.”

Suho shook his head no and allowed a small smile to cross his lips. He waved his hand and murmured that he was fine. “We’re almost there anyways – I can just nap in the room.”

“Which is Suho‘s way of saying ‘You’d get us lost Chen-ssi’,” Baek teased.

Chen whipped around and smacked Baekhyun hard in the arm, making the other yelp in pain. Xiumin knit his brows and muttered something in Chinese.

“You’re going to want to move over soon,” Suho noted as he pointed up ahead.

“Waaaaaaaaaaeeee?! It actually looks nice – I mean fancy nice!” Chen gasped as they walked through the automatic doors into a large lobby.

“Suho did good finding this deal!” Baek agreed as he scanned the lobby, nodding at the elegant touches of natural cut wood panels and pebbled floors.

Suho grinned as he put his bag down and leaned his arms on the desk. He and his friends saved up to go somewhere beautiful and far away from Korea for this spring break, especially after a grueling few months cramming for midterms.

About a month ago, his laptop dinged with a notification about this hotel offering a special rate for their spring break week – a suite for under $200 a night with free breakfast and light snacks in the afternoon. Not to mention a decent bundle with the car rental and flight that Xiumin scored a few days later. The only catch with the latter was they were unable to sit together. Xiumin ended up being moved to first class – Suho was pretty certain that the stewardess with caramel colored hair had something to do with the swap. Baekhyun was seated next to a tall redhead boy with a deep voice, Chen got an aisle seat next to a sweet elderly lady who kept patting his arm, and Suho ended up in the back next to a overly chatty pregnant woman who was expecting her firstborn in three months. The woman wasn’t bad per se, but whenever he wanted to sleep, she’d come up with a new story or topic to talk about or she had to ask him to stand up so she could go to the bathroom.

“You’re such a dear – I’m sorry for the constant up and down,” the woman told him toward the end of the flight. “I promise I’m not normally like this but with a little one on the way –”

“It’s fine M’am,” he said with a polite smile. “I hope he or she is healthy and happy.”

“Hello, who is the reservation under?” the clerk asked with a pleasant smile.

Suho fished out his passport and passed it over, along with a printout of the hotel confirmation. The clerk accepted both and began typing his name into the computer to pull up the room.

“How much do you think it cost to do this lobby?” Baekhyun whispered as he looked closely at one of the wood wall features.

“More than what we’re making right now,” Chen sighed as he heaved his bag higher on his shoulder. “Well, for now we can pretend we’re vacationing like kings!”

“I think I need coffee,” Xiumin mused as he scanned the lobby for the nearest cafe. He pouted when he couldn’t find one and flagged down a bellhop who was wheeling an empty luggage cart to the entrance. “Excuse me, where is the cafe in this hotel?”

The bellhop paused and started to point straight ahead, using his arm to show the directions – go straight past the check-in, hang a right, and go straight for 6 steps before going to the left. Chen joined them at the mention of coffee and frowned as he tried to follow the bellhop’s gestures. Baekhyun tore his gaze from the wall feature and walked over as the bellhop mentioned the specialty items on the menu.

“Try the coconut milk latte – highly recommend it!” the bellhop said before excusing himself.

“Sounds interesting,” Baekhyun murmured. “We getting coffee now?”

“I think Suho’s almost – woaaaaaahhhh...” Chen said as a woman passed them. He lowered his sunglasses as he watched you walk toward the direction of the pool, hair billowing behind you.

Xiumin blinked and turned his gaze to you, eyes widening as you moved further away. Baekhyun froze and craned his neck to get a better look at you, humming in appreciation about your figure clad in a pair of cutoff shorts and a one piece bathing suit.

“Guys is it just me or was she wearing a Star Wars bathing suit?” Chen asked as he turned to look at the others.

“Eh? I didn’t notice her bathing suit,” Baekhyun replied with a shrug. “Those legs looked so good in those shorts!”

“Yeah it was Star Wars themed,” Xiumin confirmed. “I think...R2-D2? It was white and blue but her hair kind of covered parts of it?”

“Aish, we should have stopped her!” Chen whined.

“Why? What would you have said to her?” Baekhyun asked as he tilted his head.

“No not for me! I would have wanted Suho-ssi to see her bathing suit! They could have talked about that series and given us a break!” Chen sighed.

To say their friend was a fan of Star Wars was, well, an understatement. Suho owned every Star Wars film (including the awful Star Wars Holiday Special VHS), t-shirt, and collectible toy you could think of. Someone in his family introduced him to the series and started his love of all things Star Wars. Hell, Baekhyun even recalled finding Star Wars boxers in Suho’s drawers once! He watched the movies all the time and tried to get his friends to discuss theories about the world of Star Wars and what was next for the latest trilogy. While his friends liked Star Wars too, they had to admit that it was hard to keep up with him. Sure it made holiday and birthday shopping easy for them, but sometimes Suho showing his Star Wars geek was tiresome to deal with.

“Here are the keys Mr. Kim, I hope you enjoy your stay,” the clerk replied with a bow as she passed over the room keys in an envelope.

Suho smiled as he accepted them and thanked her before hoisting his bag onto his shoulder and walking over to his friends. “Got the keys – wait what are you looking at?”

“Suho you missed her! The perfect girl for you!” Chen whined as he shook Suho’s arm.

Suho groaned as he yanked his arm free. As much as he liked his friends, they kept trying to set him up on dates but none of them ended very well. Either the girl had a conflicting schedule or she’d find his interest in Star Wars cringeworthy and would ditch immediately. At this point he was done trying to please his friends and decided he was better off focusing on his studies and supplementing his free time staying up to date with the news for Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

“Come on guys, let’s just get to the room and crash,” Suho sighed as he began heading to the elevator.

“Waaaaeeeeeeee! Suho, you’re just going to walk away from your dream girl?” Baekhyun demanded as he followed him.

“Yeah! She could be...the one!” Chen insisted as he caught up to Suho.

Xiumin ran ahead and blocked his path, preventing Suho from going any further. Suho huffed and tried to move around the older boy, only to find that he would move in the same direction as Suho to prevent him from getting away.

“Look, I know you’re tired but you have to believe us,” Xiumin said as he looked him in the eye. “While you were checking us in, this really pretty girl in a Star Wars bathing suit walked by and she was headed to the pool. I really think you should go find her.”

Suho opened his mouth to protest and Xiumin pouted, jutting out his plump lower lip and positioning his hands in the tulip pose. His eyes widened and took on a cute begging look. Suho stared at his friend for a few seconds and huffed. Damn Xiumin and his aegyo...

“Fine,” Suho sighed as he rolled his eyes. “But first, I wanna drop off our stuff in the room.”

“Want me to get your back, Miss Dalek?” a guy asked as he sank into the lounge chair next to yours.

You snapped your head up and twisted your lips into a frown. “Wrong robot, but nice try,” you remarked with a shake of your head.

“Heeeeeeyyyy Sexy Robot girl!” a beefy looking guy called out as he stopped by your chair. “I think I felt a spark when I saw you!”

“That’s gotta be one of the worst pickups I’ve ever heard,” you groaned, slapping your head with your palm.

“Babe, where are you?” a girl called out.

The beefy guy snapped his head up and made his way over to a model-like blonde with huge lips and lots of makeup on. She snaked her arm around him and began dragging him to the jacuzzi. Silently, you thanked your lucky stars that one was gone – what a mess!

You turned your attention back to braiding your hair and turned your back to the first guy who addressed you. Maybe, just maybe if you pretended he wasn’t there, he’d take a hint and leave you be. Part of you was starting to regret wearing this bathing suit but it was one of your favorites.

“So are you actually into this nerd stuff?” the first guy asked you. “Cause most girls don’t actually care about sci-fy and –”

“For the record, this “nerd stuff” is from my favorite film series Star Wars,” you corrected him with a roll of your eyes. “Second, who the fuck do you think you are telling me that I can’t care or like sci-fy?”

“Whoa! Whoa! Calm down!” the guy said as he held his hands up.

“Suho, you should have changed into your shorts!” Chen scolded as he nudged Suho toward the pool area.

Suho shrugged indifferently and scanned the area, expecting to see no one fitting his friends’ description of a girl in an R2-D2 bathing suit. Instead, his eyes snapped to the left and he saw one matching their description, who happened to be arguing heatedly with another guy.

“Babe, calm down! It was just a question!” the guy protested.

“I’m not your babe,” you shot back. “It’s really annoying to have people like you pretend to know things when in reality, you don’t know shit. Daleks are from Doctor Who, genius! They’re the mortal enemies of the Doctor! My suit is R2-D2 – the droid who guides Anakin through his first x-wing battle, stows the plans for the Death Star in his memory, and helps Luke Skywalker! How do you not know this?”

“Now do you believe us?” Xiumin asked as he glanced over at Suho. “If I were you, I’d catch her before she leaves so she knows there’s at least another true Star Wa– ahhhh Suho, where are you going?!”

Suho had turned and began walking quickly to the lobby, making a mad dash to the elevator before it closed.

“Look it’s an easy mistake to make!” the guy protested as he followed at your heels to the lobby.

“No, it’s a mistake to deal with an asshole like you when I’m on vacation!” you spat. “I came to relax and have fun but no, you just can’t keep it in your pants and have to assume that I’m some nerd school girl trope that will play dumb and get on my knees for you!”

Your ears were pounding and you huffed as you caught the elevator that was opening. You quickly pressed the button for your floor, followed by the Door Close button, not realizing that someone was in there with you. You froze when you saw the reflection in the doors and snapped your head up.

“Oh crap...I’m so sorry – you probably wanted to get out, didn’t you?” you asked as you turned around.

Suho held his hands up and shook his head, offering you a polite smile. “It’s fine, I can take it down after we reach your floor. It seemed like he was really bothering you.”

You nodded as you brushed a strand of hair out of your face and paused when you saw the design on this guy’s swim trunks. You blinked as you stepped closer before your eyes traveled up and down his body. Star Wars vintage tee, Star Wars logo baseball cap, and a really awesome pair of trunks with vintage Star Wars comic book covers all over.

“Am I dreaming or are you wearing a lot of Star Wars right now?” you asked as you looked up at him.

He ducked his head and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “I uh...I’m sort of one of those “I own every movie, t-shirt, and toy that I get my hands on” kind of fan,” he admitted. “I even got a film quality replica of Poe’s jacket this holiday from my parents – I wear it whenever I can. I mean, my friends have to pry it off my body sometimes because I wear it so much.”

“Shut up,” you breathed. “I can’t...I can’t believe I found another person who just gets my love of Star Wars. Where the Hell have you been all my life?”

He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by the ding of the elevator, signaling your floor. He smiled sheepishly before gesturing to the open doors. “Looks like it’s your floor,” he murmured.

You snorted before pressing the Door Close button and hitting the Lobby afterwards. “Changed my mind. Besides I wanna know what’s under the shirt Threepio. Although I’m sure you’re probably ripped compared to him.”

Suho blushed and you smirked as you slipped your fingers into his hand.

“C’mon you gotta say it,” you teased.

He swallowed hard and allowed a cheesy smile to cross his lips.

“This is the droid you’re looking for.”