#i absolutely love seeing u on my dash...ur so funny and so sweet!!

[chwejongho-archive]

❄️your winter gift has arrived, @loserline!

a series of gifts for mutuals through december!

[mikareo]

“ ࣭⸰ ★ post of gratitude ! <3

⊹ ⠀⠀ hi guys! on my old blog, i'd make a post every november to spread gratitude for the mutuals i interact w most n wanted to carry that tradition onto this blog! ily all and hope that your day was wonderful today (unless ur a nanami stan bc that was rlly rough im so sorry abt that ep ajskl)

psa; if u weren't tagged in this post, pls know that i appreciate u very much and would love to interact w u more!! msg me anytime n i'll try my best to visit ur inbox in the near future!

꒰ . . to my readers ꒱

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ thank u so much for supporting my work by reading, liking, sharing, or commenting on any of my writing! i love reading through reblogs and seeing what u guys think of my ideas,, it's so motivating n i appreciate it so much like omg sometimes u got my kickin my feet reading thru ur comments ajskl i hope to post quality content for ur enjoyment n i luv u all,, much more to come as time goes on !!!

꒰ . . to my mutuals ꒱ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᯇ in alphabetical order

⌗ @chigirizzz ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi val! just wanted to say that i love how supportive u are of other creators on the site,, i feel like whenever i see u on the dash ur always hyping someone up or making their day brighter! ALSO i cant believe u also know the voltage otome games bc i feel like i'm crazy sometimes bc no one know what they are LMFAO i hope u had an amazing day !!!

⌗ @doobea ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ dooby!!! i love the bright energy u bring to my dash n i think ur absolutely gorgeous (u ate that choso costume up omg ajskdlf) ur always such a pleasure to interact w n i think ur writing is amazing,, i rlly need to just binge it all one night ESP the choso fics u post bc ur writing rlly captures how much u love him LOL my fav choso worshipper <3 hope yall get married!

⌗ @hesthermay ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi pookie teehee,, i haven't answered ur text yet bc i was trying to figure out how to fry chicken (3 of them were raw ajsklf) but i will after i post this lol. ilyvm and i can't wait for u to stay w me,, i'm gonna take u to the mall n treat u to some canes chicken fingers *heart eyes* (i'm typing on my laptop forgive me) you've been w me since my org blog from sept 2020 n i act can't believe how long we've known each other now (3 years!) ur so old like ur my granny but that's ok bc ur my favorite granny ever,, sorry for violating u #ageism is not okay,, i miss u so much n i miss ur bf bc ur my mom n dad (legally) i even miss ur roommate who i actually can't rlly remember the name of but that's not the point i'm trying to make so forget i said that part,, i definitely know his name!!! also i decided that kingsley is my favorite dog u have bc he's tiny n reminds me of my doggie,, luv ya! text u in a bit!

⌗ @itadorey ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ omg hi inez, remember these? no u probably don't bc i got rlly lazy w my blog in the late days (rip aitarose) i love all of the tiktoks u send me n i love ur instagram stories bc they make me laugh n i love how much u love snoopy,, he's literally my idol n there are so many statues of him in my city it's so funny n they always make me think of u. ur my yung gravy queen,, i love u so much n i'm so glad hq tumblr let me meet u even tho it was lowkey traumatizing (yikes) our mudae days were so fun,, esp the night i let that person put the roleplay bot into my server jkals so grateful for u !!!

⌗ @kitorin ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hiiii souta!!!! i just wanted to say that i LOVE seeing u comment first on my writing posts,, like it motivates me so much bc i know i have such a large support system coming from u n ur so sweet n talented AJSJJJ u were (i think?) my first new mutual on this blog when i first made it,, n you've made coming back to tumblr such a welcoming n amazing experience! i'm so grateful to be ur mutual n i hope you've had an absolutely amazing day!

⌗ @mymegumi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ firstly BITCH ANSWER MY TEXT. secondly, happy thanksgiving! <3 wish we were spending it together but distance is real n it hates us :( miss u and can't wait to see u whenever that is lmfao like whenever plane tickets decide to stop being so expensive,, so glad we aren't beefing anymore haha that was so silly of us... anyways... whenever i do see u, i'm going to give u a big hug n then we're going to gossip abt everything that's happened since we were last together n it's going to be great bc i'm going to make u watch twice videos n ur gonna love them as much as i do bc i'm ur sister n u have no choice but to love what i love! hahaha... i love you so much n i'm so glad ur my sister #meimei n jiajia 4ever <- that's actually approved by me n that's all that matters bc i'm actually the president of the world and ur my favorite person on it jaklsdf ANSWER MY TEXT BITCH

⌗ @pokkomi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ chiu u r genuinely one of the most positive ppl i've ever met on tumblr n i love u sm for it like jaskdlfjdkl u always make my day when u reblog a post n reading ur tags is so heartwarming n it makes me want to write a million more pieces just to see what u think of them,, ur theme is absolutely adorable n i love ur alpha wolf pfp bc it's so funny n i was literally giggling when u were answering asks abt it n i saw them on my dash,, i hope that every day is an amazing day for u n if u ever need anything u can come in my pms to chat or my inbox (i will def be saying hi later in urs LOL) have an amazing amazing day n i can't wait for u to post any kind of writing in the future!

⌗ @rewh0re ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ hi hana!!! i'm so glad u popped into my inbox n said hi bc i always saw u interacting w ppl on the dash n i was too nervous to say hi jakfsdlkl i love interacting w u n talking abt whatever n whenever in inboxes or replies,, ur username always makes me giggle n i love it so much (i always read it as 'reo whore' for some reason asjfdkl but i love it) i send ur kuroo fics to my kuroo stan friend n she eats them up,, ur writing style is so beautiful n emotional,, i love the way u structure ur plots w metaphors n repetition n symbolism n everything u put into ur hard work it's all so amazing,, wishing u the very best day tmr ever!

⌗ @wishmemel ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAFI!!!! ik i alr said it but it never hurts to hear a million times n more! i associate u sm w sanrio like idk if mymelo is ur favorite but in my head u r the real life her ajsfkl,, ur so sweet n genuine i love interacting w u n seeing u all over my dash,, I HOPE UR BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING !!!! ... fixing this bc im screaming bc i can't believe i mixed that up omg... anyways... LUV U

⌗ @yoisami ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ OKAY FIRST i literally LOVE ur theme like it's so cute n so fitting to ur personality i love it sm ajsfkdl saki ur so sweet n i'm so glad we're mutuals bc i always look forwards to seeing u on my dash or going to ur inbox (which i'm lacking on rn but i promise i'll visit it more soon jaskdl!!!!) the way u support ff writing on tumblr is so amazing w ur reblogs n tags,, n i look foward to reading more of ur writing in the future (hopefully i can live up to ur sweet tags!) !!! have an amazing amazing day saki !!!!!!

⌗ @y2kuromi ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ screaming bc i got ur bday mixed up w another mutual but HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN LMFAO !!!! i hope that ur day was so amazing n that i'm not getting this wrong again (SORRY SAFI) !!! mimi ur so nice i'm like giggling so hard rn im so sorry,, happy happy birthday hope it was amazing!

⌗ all of my other loves <3 ₊ ˖ ་.

⋆⋆⋆⠀ ⠀ i love being mutuals w all of u n being a part of such a supportive writing community! ur all so talented n ur blogs r beautiful, i hope ur day was absolutely amazing n that we can interact more in the future (i will be invading ur inboxes that's a promise ajfskdl) !!!! happy november!!!

[saetoshis]

CLOSING OUT THE YEAR!

[‹ A MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST ›]

[‹ ABOUT ›] i started this new blog in around september, and we already have over 1k followers and sooo many lovely mutuals from not only this account but my past one! and i adore you all SO MUCH, this is just me spewing my love and thoughts into one giant post 🤗 // if i forgot you PLEASE let me know and i'll add you :') i have soo many mutuals i need to keep track sobs!

[‹ EXTRAS ›] if you can, listen to the song! i just think it rlly ties into how i feel from a musical standpoint sob! im a music nerd excuse me ahksla

@kavehtion

MY SWEET VLYNN ! i not only adore your writing but also your formatting, it's so pleasing to the eye :') i find your energy soothing and bright - your confidence radiates to me and i always absolutely adore seeing you on dash! we don't interact too much but i hope we can more in the future :)

@heartnagi

LOLA LOLA LOLA BABY ! you've been here since diaphanoso snifle i adore you sooo much ! everything you post i go "that's so real" in my head, i adore your creativity and you have such a strong sense of morals which i admire :') i'm soo glad to have gotten close to u ! let's keep thirsting over aether and each other more next year ehehe

@zorotits

LINAAA even tho we are new moots i literally love ur energy on dash.. it's kinda bright and chaotic and SOO funny ! your theme actually makes me wanna take a bite out of ur acc if that makes sense jaksdla BUT i legit adore your energy (esp in tags omfg they make me die) and hope we can interact n thirst sooo much more next year :)

@touyyes

BAKI OMGFGKJF baki i stg. you make me LOSE MY MIND every time you post.. it's either making me choke from laughing so hard or actually dying from the MM M MM OH SO YUMMY thirsts ! you had me at toji n i was like i have to follow RN. BUT STOP i adore ur energy it's like bright chaos it makes me feel SOOO FULL OF GOOD ENERGY :) let's thirst over toji in jjk s2 next year :P

@dilu3

MY SWEET LALAA ! your fics literally bring me to my KNEESSS i adore the way you write especially bachira, n you're always putting me on to new chars and animes like hellsing :') i love your creativity and how you're always thinking of creative blog names n themes i adore them all !! gimme even more chars to thirst over in 2023 :)

@510hz

ARES i dont think u understand how much i adore seeing u on dash like. even the controversial posts i'm like "stop thats so real" like everything u say i agree with. the energy is like.. chaotic chill I LOVE IT it feeds my soul :') i cant wait for more moshares interactions n maybe irl eheheheh :)

@hystix

cadie dont get me started. HALAHAKAKA i literally love u like i am in love w you :') you're my bright lil light on dash n i swear when i see u in notifs im like "I CAUGHT U !" you're such a like.. precious soul to me i just wanna hug u snifle !! you remind me of warm hugs yesyes that is ur energy to me!! my sweet cadie snifle I MUST SEE U MORE ON GENSHIN N DASH NEXT YEAR :)

@tinie

ARLO ! SOGLO ! BUNLO ! omgongog you might not know but i swear u have an influence on me ! your energy is so like .. calm but attractive if that makes sense snifle ! the 'nodnodnod' n use of 'soggy' has captured me i swear ! now im always saying soggy ! but i rlly love seeing u on dash n ur like.. my biggest scara association if that makes sense ! i wanna see evennn more scarlomouche all 2023 :')

@nymphoheretic

MY BABY MY WIFE my BEAAAUTIFUL WIFE ! nymph / kk / kirei my absolute babe. my beloved since diaphanoso .. my biggest kyo n gyo n tengen thirst partner ehehe ! your energy is like omgog warm and chaotic I ADORE U ! every time i rewatch kny n see kyo im like 'yeah that's my wife's man' ehehekekej I HOPE TO THIRST OVER KNY EVENNN MORE WITH U ! one day ill finish bleach n catch up to all ur faves :)

@blueparadis

PARADIS ! omgomg i swear we haven't interacted much sobs BUT I WANNA MORE ! you give me suuuch calm sweet energy on dash :') I ALWAYS ADOREEE your formatting your brain is just like WHOAA so special so creative ! i can't wait to see more pretty colors on dash from u ehehe AND HOPEFULLY EVEN MORE INTERACTIONS IN 2023 !

@kunizk

ZENNN ZENZEN ! omg we rlly have not interacted much but stop. i adore ur navi SO MUCH I WANNA EAT IT ? like does that make sense? prob not BUTASLASAL STOP STOPP. i love ur interactions w toji's rp blog i love seeing just like. no shits given layin everything out ahaklaa BUT ! i hope to see more feral shit on dash from u AND MORE INTERACTIONS TOGETHER NEXT YEAR :)

@nymphoheratic

KATTAKSDHKAL KAT MY BABY ! my lil genshin buddy snifle ! i not only adore ur writing but i just ADORE U ! you're my lil kit kat sob :') i hope tumblr fkn unflags u someday HAKAKA it is ridiculous how much i miss u here ! but im glad i have u on genshin n hopefully we can share more lil leaks n show off tcg n showcases to each other next year ehehkeeke !

@babiefwuit

my love my light my literal best friend :') I SRSLY DONT KNOW WHAT ID DO WITHOUT YOU TO TALK TO :(:(((:(:(( nana bun HAKDAL grammy bun i miss u SOOO BAD ! WE NEED TO CATCH UP RN. like HOP ON DISC RN ! i am kissing u my sweet, soulful-energied baby! i could cry ! ahdkalsda BUT LETS MEET UP AGAIN N THIRST OVER GYOMEI AGAIN IN 2023 !

@itoshi-s

OMFGHKLASDKLAAAA ZARI STOP. bro it's been like 2 days of being mutuals but STOP I LOVE SEEING U ON DASH I LOSE MY MIND ! your energy omfg. it's irreplaceable i stg ! the feral thirsts, the thoughts u put in my tinie head ! ill go insane one day I SWEAR ADKASL im gonna bite u 24/7 in 2023 :')

@boyfrwenz

JEM MY SWEET THING ! you are my biggest daichi association ever ! every time i see anything haikyuu/daichi related im like STOP I WONDER IF JEM HAS SEEN THIS OMG ! you have like calm chaotic but also bright energy snifle ! i hope to see more daichi fics n interactions in 2023 :))

@ohsatori

omg HALEYYEHKALDSA stop stop ! i adore how you write not only tendou but all characters snifle ! your theme caught my eye so hard n im sooo glad i clicked follow sob ! you are such a sweet, bright soul on dash to me !! you also put me on SOO much good haikyuu art i adore it :') i cannot WAIT for more tendou fics n art n interactions next year :P

@haruchiyos

azrael my beloved my pretty thing ! u get me like u just GET ME yk? i feel like we're aligned or smth ! every time i interact with you im just thinking "mm m mm azrael gets it!" I MISS SEEING U ON DASH I NEED MORE AZRAEL THOUGHTS ! im yelling at yukimiya to give u sum kisses for the new year :P

@tinymaru

REINEAKJSDKLA reine my baby. I SWEAR U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH RESPECT N ADMIRATION I HAVE FOR UR TALENT ! you're such a sweet soul too i can't help but smile when i see "MOSHI" randomly in my disc notifs asdklalad !! you have such a gifted, creative, beautiful mind to me ! i cannot wait for more art n selfship drawings n silly lil dms in 2023 :)

@sailewhoremoon

SOSAAAA every time i see u on dash legit love sosa plays in my head ! your energy omfg it cannot be replicated. it's SOOOO GOOD and the way u reblog asks n check up on ur moots is SOO SWEET ILL CRY ! youre the sweetest brightest lil light on this app :') I NEED MORE FERAL UNCENSORED SOSA THOUGHTS ASAP ! i hope to see evennn more next year eheeheke

@dearbraus

FAWN FAWN FAWN BABY ! i adore ur acc sm omfgklf i also LOVE that u post abt lesbian culture n ur lil thoughts on genshin women esp lisa ! you're such a strong presence n it's sooo like... energetically warm to me !! i just adore seeing ur reblogs n thoughts spewed out on dash ! i hope we can interact EVEN MORE IN 2023 ! kisskiss to u :)

@thetempleofnyx

omg jen ASKALLAAAA my baby my baby omg ! my sweet thing i treasure you SO MUCH ! your feral unhinged uncensored thoughts on dash r sooo sooo contagious i stg ! every time i see u horny post im like oh. OH OHHH oh. OHH yeah oh right oh! HAKHSA but i srsly love ur sweet n caring energy you are one of the just most.. precious people ive met here ! i hope for more thirsts n interactions n LOVE with you next year !

@eremikan

MARI. i see like everything u put out on dash n i think to myself "thats so real" like ur brain is sooo intriguing to me.. IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT ! you have like neutral chaotic energy and im always like "i wanna peek in ur brain even more" ! but i will legit NEVER forget that satosugu fic you wrote where getou was gone and it was reader + satoru and getou like came to them in a dream sorta situation?? OMG THAT FIC CHANGED MY LIFE it was my first time reading an angsty fic ahdkala but i LOVED IT ! but anyways that was long omgomg i cant wait to see more peeks of ur brain this next year :P

@festive

VIVA VIVAAAA your energy on dash actually makes me smileomgomg i think to myself "viva n cyno" all the time like u are sooo associated with him in my brain ! i love love LOVE your writing style sm, n the cyno content is TOP tier to me ! youre so funny your energy is just so bright to me ! but i hope to see even moreee viva n cyno next year n hopefully even more interactions ! :)

@sugies

MY BABY JUJU ! omgomg every time i see jjk or getou art im like "WAIT HAS JUJU SEEN THIS?" you're like the sweetest lil bean to me ! i adoreeee adore you n MISS U ! WE NEED TO GET BACK INTO JJK ANALYSIS AGAIN ! i miss talking abt the chapters w you ! i am giving u a warm squishy hug rn cuz i miss u soooo much ! i hope for more jjk/getou brainrot n thirsts in 2023 :)

@rczc

ZEHR MY LOVE MY LIGHT MY BABY ! i miss you SOOO MUCH STOP ! you are the fkn funniest person on this app i am SOO SERIOUS ! your energy is so warm and chaotic and the feral unhinged tags FEED MY SOUL ! you make me choke from laughing so hard i will cry ! i miss u zehr bear ! i am hugging u virtually :)

@milkyybuns

OMGOGM DAE ! my tengen brainrot buddie ehehehe every time i see itto or tengen art/fics im like stop it rn where is dae ! im falling back into my tengen phase again so expect a lot in ur inbox ehehhe ... you have such sweet energy on dash like seeing u in my inbox makes me SMILE SO HARD ! i adore u baby n i hope for amazing things AND SOME MORE TENNIE BRAINROT NEXT YEAR !

@sugr

KELS KELS ! u feed me soooo well with the jjk art reblogs n haikyuu / jjk fics ! i will die adkasladh you have calm n bright energy to me ! i associate u sooo hard with yuuji (prob from the prev. username hehe) ! but you remind me of the feeling of hot coffee on a cold day if that makes sense.. like soothing n cozy :') I CANT WAIT FOR MORE FICS N INTERACTIONS THIS NEXT YEAR ! kisskiss for u kels !

@munsonsins

ABBYYADHJADKAD stop i miss u so much ! even tho i dont know shit about marvel or that stuff?? i will always read anything u write cuz i ADOREEE IT SM ! whenever i see u pop into my inbox w a lil meme i smile soo hard eeek ! i hope school is treating u well n ur doing AMAZING ! n if not i hope that next year brings u the amazing vibes that you deserve :) i love u abby ehekeke

@ghxstic

NYMPH NYMPH my kny food distributor ehehekee i stg my fav muzan fic is that muzan + koku fic u wrote from WAAAY back when ! i miss u sosososo much ! i hope life is treating u well ! i miss interacting so bad ahakalaa !! im giving u 365 kisses so every day of next year is a good one :)

@pcwer

bruh omg xel i literally think u are the funniest person i have ever met in my entire life HAKAKAKAAA like. i genuinely lose my shit every time u post ESP ABT KISHIBE ILL DIE RN THINKING ABT IT ! but you have such warm n happy energy it makes my soul feel soooo full ! i cant wait for more WEIRD kishibe thoughts n yummy thirsts next year :P

@r-oronoa

OMGOMG APOLLO my baby pollo ! i am sooo glad to have u as a mutual stop omgog ! you have like omg. the most precious energy ive ever felt thru a screen HASKDAAA you're so warm and inviting and bright it makes me feel right at home !! your fics are so amazing and the way u push out content is so admirable ! i adore u and i hope for even moreee interactions in 2023 :')

@suyacho

SNOW OMFAKSDJKALAAA you and xel are like.. the most ridiculously hysterical duo ive ever experienced in my life ! interacting w you guys on diaphanoso was INSANE i loved the kny brainrot sm ! you're the sweetest little precious soul ive ever met ! ill cry thinking abt it omgoggn i love playing genshin w you and teaching u all kinds of things ! i cant wait to play n interact even more !!!

@saneminx

CHERRY MY BELOVED MI BEBECITA ! MI CORAZON ! i love your energy so much like your sense of justice and bright, loud + confident personality makes me feel SOO GOOD i admire u a lot ! you always feed me with sooo many kny thirsts i ADORE U ! i am hugging u soooososo tight and i hope 2023 is AMAZING FOR U !

@the-witch-of-one-piece

VAL OMGLAKSDAAAA VAL VAL ! i see u writing bleach i promise one day ill watch it all n catch up with you :') your energy is so positive and loving, i can feel it through the screen i swear ! you make me feel right at home, and i love that we've stayed mutuals through my blog switch and after around a year ! im sending all my good energy to you for this next year :'))

@getoswhore

BRUH AHKLAAAA BELLA GTFO i love you. everything u put out on dash makes me fucking DIE LAUGHING STOP ! youre like one of my most precious mutuals from diaphanoso omgogm you've influenced me to be more confident n loud on dash hhehehee I ADORE U ! i cannot wait for more belloshi interactions n thirsts in 2023 :)

@donvampiro

DONDONDON I WILL CRY RN ! you are soo close to my heart my beloved ! if i could speak french id put a cute little french term of endearment but alas i am. not there yet :') snifle you make me feel SOOO safe and warm. i adore your heart and your preciousness it makes me emotionalahdkaaaa but i cannot wait for more don + moshi time this next year :')

@sleepy3

SLEEPY SLEEPS MY BABY ! you make me smile so hard when i see u in my inbox, you're always putting me onto new chars and it has me GASPINGAJSKAA i love your energy it's soft, like a warm hug and sleepy cuddles !! i cannot wait for more interactions n PLSPLSSS gimme some more chars to thirst over with you next yearhehehe

@tsunderedoctor

PURPLE my baby my love ! my mutual since diaphanoso ! i adore your sensitivity and brightness, youre such a precious person to me and i just genuinely admire your soul ! i loveee the law art reblogs you put out, they feed me sooo well :') and your emergency requests i adore so much! you are such a beautiful person to me ! ill cry omgogm ! but i hope the new year brings you nothing but good things ! you deserve it all :))

@4izawas

NEPPY NEP ! my bf since diaphanoso :') i adore your bright n confident energy SO MUCH ! your big biggg heart makes me soo so easily comfy and happy with you !! you have so much confidence and i swear it's contagious :) i cant wait for more genshin + moshtune interactions this next year ! i am sending u all my thirsty n positive energy !!

@garoujo

BROOOAKAKAKAA stop stop. dont get me started ill tear up ! emmie oomfghfgf i literally am in love with u ! youre my best friend stop stop ! you make me feel so safe and comfortable like i rlly dont feel that way with a lot of ppl ! you have such a bright heart and just warm energy ITS SO CONTAGIOUS. ur so contagious im sniffling ! we must have more emmoshi interactions ! i am giving u all my motivation n energy for 2023 :')

@vilsoo

JES OMGOMG ! i swear youve been sticking around w me for SOOO LONG like almost 2 years?? i think?? but SOB your energy is so bright to me i adore talking to u sm :') there's always tea to spill n its sooo investinghahakak but i cannot wait for more memories n interactions w you ! you are my go-to for fnaf fics ALWAYS ill always put people onto you when they ask for jjk / fnaf recs ehehheeh

2022 SAETOSHIS. thank you all for the memories, craziness, love n hugs! i adore u all! // all credits for music go to animenz on youtube, song performed: kimiiro signal - saekano: how to raise a boring girlfriend OP

[seelestia]

who are a few mutuals that you appreciate alot? mutual appreciation day 🥰❤️😊🤩💐✨

OOOO FUNFUNFUN!!! thank u so much for sending this in and for essentially spreading positivity, nonnie. this is appreciated ♡ also, instead of strictly moots, i decided to extend my appreciation to everyone! moots, anons, friends and readers alike ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა

some odeliaesqué sappy appreciation under the cut:

@yvnaology - one of my fav facts abt yona was that she's one of the first moots i ever had on tumblr!!! and she's a lyney kisser and a fellow aventurine kisser (#taste). also she's so silly (/aff) and easy to talk to! like u'll feel at ease around her. she deserves good great and awesome things in life, so make sure to water ur yona daily with love <3

@solarisfortuneia - mika wished me congrats when i reached 1k and i still remember it till this day <3 she's friendly in a shy/modest way and suchsuchsuch a good writer! e.g. i cry over this every day actually. mika also has her silly moments sometimes too. someone save her /j

@floraldresvi - simply the sweetest & most supportive moot EVER! vivi is full of love and she's good at giving some of that love to others <3 her selfships are like bottles of serotonin to me. 100% would drop anything and everything in my hands to support her!!! and ik she'd do the same for me <3 mwah mwah 💐💐

@monicahar - the moot who comes online once in a while and drops absolute meals when she does. ate, left no crumbs 🔥🔥 also SUPER FUNNY!!! and unhinged, i'm concerned but amused at the same time. i hope she's having a nice break!! thank u for ur past & future services ma'am. we love u 🤭🤭

@milk-violet - MIREI !!! sunshine personified but also vv precious. i'm the leader of # protecc mirei squad (real). best person to have ever appeared in my notifs and i lovelovelove when her username pops up. take care & good luck with school! IK U CAN DO IT. remember what i said: slay before ur slayed 🗣️

@xianyoon - the butterfly moot 🦋 !!! both socially and aesthetically hehe. sosooso sweet & kind. has creative projects and executes them well at that too. i personally crown her as genshinblr's best hostess™! also, send her a moodboard and she'll cherish u forever - that's one of her love languages <3 ++ her pretty & aesthetic rb's are such a good refresh for my dash. love her for it!!

@hermosacolibri - the name, 'starlight' fits them sm bcs i feel like if we were to take a peek into their mind, stars will burst out!!! /pos (<- unique complimenting skills ik pardon me). their ideas are brilliant and i can tell they put their all into pursuing their vision <3 it's truly an honor to be a witness & reader. if u want to check them out, they write over at @/starlightlacrimosazpsff !!! ★

@wolfhookk - aaaaa ri !!!! booping her x1000 rn bcs i cannot believe boop trend ended when she came online. the discrimination 😔 /j i'll always remember ri as my first ever moot on here like first, 1st, #1!!! i forever thank her for swooping into my inbox back then and she's welcome to do that even now any time she likes <3

@kaiserkisser - skylia is the true angst consumer, the realest of it!! even in different fandoms LOL. she's nice (and gremlin-ish) when u get to know her more and she reciprocates energy really well! i'll never forget the disaster of boops in my notifs /lh

@callilouv - COOL MUTUAL ALERT !!!! cool art & cool interests. truly, picasso w/ the finger and fandoms!! idk if cal still draws with his finger dhjahshsj but still vv mega cool!

@manager-of-the-pudding-bank - the grandpas & old men kisser where art thou 💔 /j loqua has that awkward & silly rizz!!! idk if she still does wax stamps but i still think it's really cool. bcs qua's just cool in general !!! hehe

@calxlu - aaaaa vi!!! the one who enables my rambles and selfships shhshsh i am so thankful <3 rambler 🤝 rambler is the best. i love talking to her and it's super reassuring to know that it's mutual! even if i take some time but i always look forward to seeing her replies in my inbox. it's like we're penpals across the screen talking abt irl stuff and our f/o's ꒰✿´ ꒳ ` ꒱♡

& honorable mention: @/zhongrin. rin does not interact with minors anymore (which i respect and so should everyone!), so we count as former moots. but !!! i still think she's an amazing person regardless <3 (note: her blog is equally as great but plsplspls be mindful of her rules beforehand.)

brainrot anon - A REAL ONE!!! always there when i come back from the grave each time. i get reminded of them whenever i look at my inbox, it's an instinct atp. their brainrots are so fun & random (but that's a charm in itself /pos) !!! tbh i love elaborating them all so never stop sending the brainworms in <3 feel free to treat my inbox as a drop-off for ur thoughts LMAO /gen. come by again soon!

michiki anon - MY COUSINNNMNMN!!! i still love and miss when they'd come into my inbox to chat. it was so nice getting to know someone in a casual way <3 i hope ur doing well wherever u are, michikinon! i'm doing well these days and i hope u are too 🤍

rix anon - their series still has me FLOOOORED. i still think it deserves a proper platform than just thru my lil ol inbox. it deserves more recognition :( but just the fact that i got to help share their writing alone is an honor of its own!!! i hope ur doing well too, rix anon <3

++ everyone who has left a nice feedback / said anything nice in my notifs or my inbox!! even a simple 'cute' or 'this is good' or even just leaving a note means sososo much to me. i'm just a measly guy in my own little corner on this site, really - so thank u thank u thank u all !!! 🫂

[seokmatthewz]

thank you so much for following my silly little blog!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 

to put it lightly, this has been a very difficult year for me, so i am extremely grateful that making gifs of my favourite kpop boys has offered me a bit of an escape when i need to just think about something else! i really never thought i’d reach this milestone, especially not by the end of this year (though just by a hair), and i am so so so deeply grateful to all of you for seeing my little clown blog and deciding it was worth a follow!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ i am so so overjoyed every time i get a sweet comment on my gifs in the tags, or a cute ask (though i am abysmally bad about answering them at times), and i am especially thankful for my dear friends and mutuals, who i have tagged below the cut! thank you for making my 2022 bearable, and at times absolutely wonderful. i am wishing all of you nothing but the best in the new year, mwah!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ 

love, ur (maybe) favourite woosanjonggi stan, irida!

if there’s a lil ✧ next to your name i’ve written you a lil note below! thank you for all the beautiful content you make!! your presences brighten up my dash immeasurably!! love u all sm, even if we have never spoken (which is likely because i’m horrific at speaking). mwah!! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ (also i apologize if i’ve just randomly tagged u and we arent mutuals but that is a hazard of the trade i suppose FKDLSKL) also i am so so so sorry if i missed anyone!! i am stupid you see 

# - g

@20cm, @97chwe, @98linerz, @aethalen, @anyhao, @ashisland,  @berryjaellie ✧, @blueberrysan, @carrotscake, @charmerz, @chenleyah, @chwejongho ✧, @cruellajoong, @dazzlingkai, @dejawoos

h - j

@halahala​, @himeaegyo​, @hongjooong​, @hoyounq​ ✧, @hueningkai​, @hwanswerland​, @hwanwooyoung​, @hwarizon​, @jaeyunsim​, @jeong-yunhoes​, @jeonwonwoo​, @jjongho​, @jonghho​, @jongupseyeliner​, @junjunies​

k - v

@kdongyoung, @kimsmingyu, @kingleedo, @kyungsoosus, @loserline, @lovehui, @minhees, @minzbins, @ortali, @renjvn, @sanchelinz ✧, @sanhwaiting, @secnghwa, @seonghwaminho, @starhwaz, @strhwaberries

w - z

@wabisaba, @wonwooridul, @woodzm, @wookjinz ✧, @wrender ✧, @wriggleygutz ✧, @xuseokgyu, @yuvho ✧

─── ･ ｡ﾟ✧: *.☽ .* ✧. ｡ﾟ ･ ───

millie 

my dearest fairy friend!!! my wonderful beloved favourite reaction youtuber!! millie my dearest i love u sm!!! it is always a joy to come on here and sometimes be greeted with a silly little hello post that both makes me feel overjoyed and mildly threatened and i wouldnt change it for the world!! thank you for putting up with my whims and my nonsense and for watching things i beg you to watch for me KLFDSKL you are so so kind and sweet and funny despite ur penchant for slandering me and ur taste that baffles me at times. i love u sm and i hope the coming year is fantastic and that you get to eat lots of delicious food and treats!! i adore u madam mwah!!

kaz

kaz there is not much i could put here that i haven’t already told you like 8000 times in our dms but i really do love u so dearly. i am so so happy that we were both on this stupid site at the same time so our paths were able to cross and so that we could evolve into the best friends we are today. as you have said before, our souls are always holding hands. i know this year has not been good for you, and i am always wishing you and your family well, as they (especially your mom) have become very dear to me as well. here’s to many more years of being each other’s personal circus clowns, and making fun of pretty men in our twitter dms. i could not ask for a better friend than you, and i cannot overstate how much you mean to me!! love you so so so much, and i hope this year is infinitely better!!

han

han idk if you’ll see this in any sort of remotely prompt time frame but it would feel wrong to leave you out of this fkdklfds thank you so much for letting me dm you about rtk all those years ago because if we hadn’t connected then i think i would still be vaguely afraid of you and i would not have gotten the opportunity to know you and have you become one of my best friends. i am so grateful that you make time to talk to me basically every single day even though i know you’re busy being a (future) rich icon!! i love you so so much and i cannot wait for you to finally come here so we can do all the silly things on our silly han in canada bucket list. i am so excited to spend this new year watching even more silly things and torturing you with beomgyu fancams when the comeback happens. i love you so much, and hope your 2023 is perfect!

luna

luna dearest!! ik we don’t really talk outside of the occasional ask or tag clownery but i just wanted to say i appreciate those little interactions a lot!! you are always so fun to have a silly little “fight” with, and you put out so much beautiful content!! i hope this year goes very well for you, ily, mwah!!

paula

my mortal enemy, my worstie, my fucked up little meow meow, paula i think we have like the most unhinged inside jokes of all time. i will take this brief moment of. truce? to thank you for letting me incessantly irritate you in our dms about cowboy junji or limji love killa or any unhinged ooo related nonsense i can think of. we are truly the ones who should be in charge of their concept and i will stand by this forever because 8d doesnt know what theyre doing. i hope we can continue to be worsties for the coming year. 2023 kyujung divorce era! FDKLDFKS

wren

i have to include u in these every time i make them bc u and max are my longest standing mutuals and i always have to give my yearly apology for putting all sorts of random ass men on your dash constantly FKDSKL wren i love you so dearly i cannot explain how wonderful it was to see you and i hope that we can see each other some more next time i am back in the city. you are so funny and kind and great and i am so happy that we continue to be friends even though we do not see each other that much. i hope we can continue to sporadically interact, and have to mention that nct released a song i think is worse than sticker called 2baddies and i dont care if you listen to it but it needs to be said because i forgot to say it yesterday and remembered today FKLDSKLD i love you so much and i hope 2023 brings you only good things MWAH!!

max

max dearest!! just like with wren i have to include you in these whenever i make them both as an apology but as an acknowledgement of you as one of my oldest tumblr mutuals. i am deeply horrific at communicating, especially over text, and i am always so glad when i get to see you in person, however infrequent that may be. it is so nice that we can always pick up where we left off no matter how much time has passed. i love you very dearly, and really hope we can make that eurovision finale party a reality because it would be such a good time to clown around with my favourite fellow european-canadian friend!! i love you and wish you all the best in the new year!!

nil

my dear historical wifey!!! i cannot explain how amazing it has been getting to know you even more over the course of this year. i cannot believe we got to see ateez together, and there is nobody i would’ve rather gone with than you! thank you for always being kind to me, and listening to me ramble both in person and over text at times. i am so so happy that we ended up living in the same city, and even more happy that we were compatible as irl friends!! i hope we can see even more of each other in the future, and that we can go see ateez all over again when they come back!! please wish your family a happy new year from me!! i love you so much and hope your 2023 is fantastic because you deserve it!!

[husbandhoshi]

first of all the new theme is so cute i love it and especially the colours are sooo <33

but ur trademark... when it comes to ur writing i always think about how you create almost this snow globe (in an absolutely positive way) effect, like it's always such a perfect glimpse into whatever u are trying to convey, and even though im a sucker for ur shorter works (they almost read like a poem. to me. and im right) even your long works are just so scenic and encapsulate everything so well i would literally give you a pulitzer if i could

and if it was a personal trademark then definitely ur tags 😭 if i couldn't see names just the tags on every post on my dash i would still know what's yours and like how does it feel to always be right AND always be funnier than everyone else on my dash nsjsnjznz 😭

AHHH ty <333333

and OMG??????? i think this is one of my favorite writing compliments EVER.... i can't remember if you've read one of my longer fics but like w those it's much easier to Create A Scene. so the fact that it also comes thru in shorter fic... a million dollar compliment <3 especially coming from u bc i rlly feel like you excel in the vibes department :') like i regularly look back at what ur thoughts were on things i write bc i feel like u GET me !!!

also help pleas do not call me funny it will make me worse /j. but in all seriousness you are so sweet and i am truly so glad we are mutuals!!!!

[dnangelic]

TSUN! I HAVE SOME CHOICE WORDS TO SAY TO YOU!!!!

you are such an absolute delight to see on the dash and interact with, and that is no exaggeration! I adore all of your muses and even if i don’t know any of their respective medias, i learn about them through your writing and your metas and you talking about them and thats so fun to do!!! ITS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER! I appreciate you giving my dazai a chance despite not knowing bsd aswell as p much any of my other muses sknsksns you’ve been so sweet to me since we first became mutuals and i genuinely love seeing you around so much 😭 i see you on the dash and my day gets atleast 10% better without fail every single time. i hope u talk about your boys forever and ever . ITS SO FUN TO BUILD DYNAMICS WITH YOU!!! anyone is lucky to write with / plot with / interact with you i wont even lie and i genuinely believe that nsjsksnsjssn i appreciate that you show interest in so many of my muses it makes my heart so so so warm . I HOPE WE CAN CONTINUE WRITING NOVELS TOGETHER FOREVERRRRR even though i know im the one who owes you like 2829922 things ksnsksns DW AB THAT . I ALSO WANNA SAY about you writing dark and daisuke specifically i think its so good how much care you put into a series thats really old and like Ive genuinely put the manga on my reading list BECAUSE of the interest garnered from your writing !! SOLELY BECAUSE OF YOU ! u are an absolute angel ( … hehehehensnensn … bejbwnw … get it bc … bc …!2&2!/@/!/82 s hehehehe ) AND YOU ARE ALWAYS SO KIND TO ME and always so interactive and i can’t even beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn to properly articulate how much of a joy you are 2 interact with !!! wishing you and daisuke and dark and yan qing and all ur muses the best day ever . 🙌

OH MY GOOOOOOSH and to think i was sitting here at ur post like 'should i ask permission for nine asking for permission. what if nine doesn't wanna say anything. i hate feeling like im ever panhandling for a compliment. nine should be pouring soup into my lap and slapping dark + calling him a bitch so i can finally apologize but youuuuUUU YOUUUUU ALL THESE FEELINGS R SO MUTUAL!!! I LOVE SEEING U TALK!!! IT BRINGS ME SM JOY TO SEE U POST!!! even the most random stuff. doesn't matter if its long or short. literally dont even worry abt owing me stuff ur presence alone is also a DELIGHT ur fr like such a funny mut and person BUT UR ALSO SO GOOD AT UR MUSES TOO??? LIKE i could go on forever abt how much i respect ur dazai alone and how even if i don't know bsd canon that's probably for the best, bc ur now ur dazai is The canon dazai to me, but u also have like nine... billion... (hehehesbhgbssnsjkdj x2) MUSES ON UR MULTI THAT U ALSO FLAWLESSLY INVEST URSELF IN AND!! WOWWWW WHAT A MUN!!! genuinely im so glad i found u even in this hellsite and that i can just toddle around following u like this everywhere 🐥 every like i leave on ur post is me picking at it for crumbs like a pigeon in a city being tossed bread. keep tossing that bread for me please please. IM CRYING. IM WAILING!!!! BUT SINCE U BROUGHT UP READING DNANGEL LET ME ACTUALLY HELP U OUT TOO??

scans are like absolutely everywhere and most places have the godawful quality fan translations. u can and frankly probably should read the official eng which is available here. dnangel had a weird run where the eng was only licensed and translated up to book 13. 14 and 15 (and beyond) are fan translations, but there's exactly one chapter that's ALWAYS broken on any website you go to except this one. this site doesn't complete the series though so the last link you'd have to hop to is this one. but the entire series is only 20 volumes in total. you could speedread through it in like a day. it's short and sweet and i love it even with its flaws. why else would i b here writing dark n dai. anyways. point is. tysm. im holding u and all ur muses tight. i wont leave u!!!! im so glad i met u!!! uve done sm for me already and i wont forget it!!! MY SO TALENTED FRIEND!!!

[darrellmore]

hi you are so interesting and funny i am absolutely fascinated by you, and whenever i see any orange robot i say Woah… just like The Darrell… anyway i just wanted to say you seem like a really really awesome person and i love seeing your posts on my dash!!! hope ur having a good day!!

THATS SO SWEET HONESTLY i love it when people even if they dont know anything about ok ko still watch my deranged okko posts with enraptured curiousity tbh i love seeing u in my notes im like omg hi

[luvbrie]

brie! the little smau was so funny skskaksjs I CAN TOTALLY SEE JEONGWOO BLOCKING HIS CHINGUDEUL BUT THE FACT THAT DOYOUNG WAS FOUND NOWHERE WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED -- does it mean something </3 hoonsuk agreeing on one thing that's, yeah <33 i absolutely love how jihoon is an absolute disaster every single time and yoshi, my angel was a little mean there huhu /j

ANYWAYS LOVE HOW ARE YOU?? I MISS SEEING YOU ON MY DASH ☹️

LIAISISOAA HI LOVELY!!!!! hehe i do intend for a lot of laughs for the first few parts <3 and about doyoung ? hmmm who knows! we love our married couple sukhoon 🫶 YOSHI is just our lil realist but its ok i'll make him apologize <33 /j

omg omgomg i've been super good :D ive been a lot happier lately so i decided to come back <3!!!! howve u been though lovely ?! ur still as sweet as i remember 🫶🫶🫶

[astrobei]

Hello Suni I hope work is going okay! 💌 mayhaps?

hello abby my beloved <3 work went surprisingly ok for me having to show up at 8 in the morning !! even. before my classes for today. ok first off is kind of a copout and not really a Real answer but i just love how much u love not all the prayers. AGAIN! not a real answer bc it is very self-centered and more about Me than U but seriously ur love for this fic sustains me bc it was very new n experimental for me and if no one else but u reads it then i would still die happy. anyways. my REAL answer is that i love how Fun u are and i can’t think of another word for it (very writer of me ik) but u are just so incredibly sweet and funny and just an absolute gem of a person !! banger posts banger personality banger taste in music and seeing u in my messages or asks or on my dash never fails to brighten my day !! AND UR FIC. u are so insanely talented omg i’m huddled in the corner of the library after my class and work reading it and that made me think of u so i ran here to answer ur ask before i keep reading and let me just say it is, in fact, healing me from being on my feet since 6 am (it’s 4pm rn :| ) !!!!!! i love talking to u so much abby genuinely i’m so glad tumblr led me to u mwah

[tounacasserole]

random & kind of stupid half asleep, half assed appreciation post cause i wanna spread the love and for some reason sad thoughts in my head but let's ignore that (ft. my sleep deprivation sap, mutuals, ppl iloook up to, shitty puns and wordplay)

<3

@moonxma ur the moon :o you give me like calm and peaceful moon vibes like a blue moon!! ty for being one of the first who kind of kickstarted my whole commitment to being here and writing content :D

@raysano ray? more like ray of sunshine shdhefj bad pun but i love indirectly interacting with you through games and hope we get to know each other and interact more mwah /p

@appreciatingtokrev appreciatingtokrev? appreciating YOU you beautiful human being :)) i like seeing your little thoughts and whatnot around your blog bc i find them interesting to me in a good way

@mochi-coffee absolute sweetheart ∑(ﾟДﾟ) sweeter than ice cream mochi need i say more? no but seeing you wherever makes my day better for some reason because you give that positive n uplifting vibe. me 🤝 you waka skmps

@kallikrein me 🤝 you 🤝 mochi waka simps jdkfjskf ty for being one of the first to interact and leave messages in the tags of my silly little waka headcanons :]] and ty for being my majn source of waka brainrot too (￣∀￣) we krei-n (pronounced crying) over wakasa. i think that was fhe shittiest pun ive ever made in my entire life i apologize dearly

@simpywhore seeing your incorrect quotes make me snort in laughter a lot whenever i see them >:D we haven't interacted but i'm sure you're simp(l)y sweet ksjjfkfkskf

@offtaskotaku go follow them rn this is a threat /hj seriously so so underrated pls check out their work and send them requests i'm sure they work hard and they're bery nice :) great sense of humour 2 i like seeing u on my dash. makes me go off task for a bit to scroll through your blog and reread your hcs!!

@kakuchew also a contributor to my waka brainrot jshffkf your headcanons about the black dragons boys are so awesome and i love their shenanigans which makes it easier to envision them in my head!! less chewing on my thoughts and more space to appreciate them and you too :3

@sukunasbabymama your blog title is kk's safeplace and it sure as hell lives up to the name!! i get a homely vibe from you n i like seeing you pop up on my dash :D like my mama's homemade food! you've made me appreciate kakucho and mucho with your contrnt :))

@wwintersun holy crap i look up to you a whole ton!! your works are simply put masterpieces. when i read them it makes me feel fuzzy and warm it's like when the sun melts the winter away ;D i have a lot of your stuff saved in my drafts to reread on a bad day

@bajipaws your tokrev x male reader stuff has at least pawmped 5 more years into my lifespan (i'll take my leVe now). ur doing king shit and i can't wait to see more stuff from you!!!

@kageyahoe your latest work with baji made me Feel all the emotions /pos :] in fact all of your works do and made me love baji even more than i did before >:O i don't have a bad pun for you but honestly considering my punmanship you're lucky jdkfjskf

@shinscig i've interacted with you a grand total of one (1) time but you're so sweet :( i think your chifuyu drabble of painting flowers was one of the first fics i read here which: OOMPF /pos. that's it i can't describe it anymore better than that cause it's almost 3am. your braid train fic with mizo mid is also a big favourite :)! underrated they are

@softbajis You Have Made Me Feel Things but i swear most of it's good and soft besides the angst because it hurts so good hakfjwjfj i like seeing your little blurbs pop up from time to time!!

@tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang I LOVE SEEING YOUR POSTS ABOUT THE MANGA THAT ARE ESPECIALLY SO FUNNY??? they're always a riot and the absolute best. i snorted so hard reading your recent one of the wake me up scene SHEIWKJFWKFJDJ

@koffeekoko your angst. hurts so good. mr sunshine, flowers, and you hurts the best. i am writhing on the floor as i type this (/notsrs) idk if this is weird but seeing your tag "jel loves you!" makes me smile internally :)) your works about insecurities they love also make me really really happy :']

@n0vad your headcanons are so comforting to read,,, they also inspired me to post some of my own too in a similar format (hope you don't mind sjfhe)! i also love that you post for more characters that don't have a ton of content!!

@sunhee-sun your writing is like warm sun after cold rain (i'm a great poet) it's inviting and a guilty pleasure to reread all of your tokrev stuff. bows down to you.

@kakubun my main source of love for bonten. helping hands is one of my favourites and inspired me to make a character based off of that :D your headcanons are also so funny to read and have become a great source of inspo!!

@xuxitheii another whose tokrev x male reader has fed more life into me (°▽°)b i've probably went through your blog at least thrice now reading your works especially since you're one of the first i followed! good shjt right there... your confessing to mitsuya one is my fabourite

thats all i can roll out i think because i dint want to flood everyone's inboxes since your mutuals are doing this too skfjekfjjs ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ happy new year from this touma fish! 🐟 passes out

[inkedtae]

rupture; rapture ⇾ kth. [M]

𝓅𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾ ex-boyfriend!taehyung x reader (f.)

𝑔𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒/𝓇𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 ⇾  one shot, angst, smut, f2l(?), e2l(?), ex lovers au, rekindled lovers(?), sculptor au, 18+

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎 ⇾  responding to a late night call for help forces you to revisit truths you so skillfully ignored. was it always meant to fall apart to fall back into place?

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉 ⇾ 13.2k

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ⇾ slight upsetting themes, mentions of a new relationship, mentions of infidelity (tae thinks reader used him to each on her date), vague mention of consuming alcohol, switch!Taehyung, mullet!taehyung, sub!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, clay/paint/art sex(?), hate-love sex(?), makeup sex(?), size kink, oral (f. receiving), multiple orgasms (f.), creampie, overstimulation, a lil degradation, a lil face-licking, body worshipping, clit worshipping, a lil clit biting, choking, spanking, motorboating, begging, teasing, swearing, breath play, breast play

anon asked: taehyung19angst asghjkll. U have a prompt list ? So for that. Maybe. If u want to. WOW. Ur awesome. The bestest. Okay. Bye. Love. Me.

#19 ⇝ “You said you knew how to do this.”

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒 ⇾  i am aware this is supposed to be a drabble but that never seems to be even for taehyung so here’s a one shot instead. also sorry for writing this so late 

☾ banner by ⇾ @editingverse​ (thank you so so so much dear~ please go give her all your love!! this banner is beautiful!!)

☾ beta’d by ⇾ @kkulmoon​ (luff you, my soulmate crackhead~)

☾ le playlist

◖send me a prompt from dabble drabble. i will try to get to it as soon as i can. please note that i have the right to refuse any request i find uncomfortable.◗

Navigating to the chipped yellow door is second nature. Four months of distance does not change how easy it is for you to find your way to his place from across town. Your most haunting regret, however, is accepting his call. You sat around your apartment for months, fantasizing about how powerful you’d feel when your phone rings and you see his name flash only to decline the call. You told yourself that is how you will regain your dignity, how you will reclaim your life. He’s been a big part of it since freshman year. Best friends instantly, lovers only a year down the line. Clicking that red button, rejecting his apologies is how you believed you’d be able to move on and fully erase him from your life for good.

But, in the midst of a drink with someone else’s company, he calls and you do not refuse. Your heart flips only to fall and shatter in the pit of your stomach. You press the green button without much thought and bring the phone to your ear. He sounds so unsure, so nervous. A relieved sigh you didn’t realize you were holding escapes you. Eyes watering, you whisper his name.

The shame creeps upon you, condescendingly soothing your ego. Where’s your dignity now? It’s as nonexistent as when you stormed out of this very door and swore never to return. You can hear the fates snickering, watching your pathetic self stand outside of the door. Shaking out a shiver, you gather up the scattered pieces of your courage and knock on the door.

The screech of metal on metal echoes as he unlocks the door. The sound is more comforting than you expected it to be. You can’t remember the amount of times you’ve nagged him to replace the damned thing. It’s old, rusted, and the scratches of the metal make you cringe as though your bones are rotting. It used to make your jaw ache, now it only comforts you. Little things already undress your confidence. What will seeing him again do? What emotions will it beckon?

Misery leaks from your bones and into your bloodstream. The door opens to a vision of grace. In his clay-smeared jumpsuit, the sleeves wrapped around his waist and his bare chest exposed, he stares back at you. Though frozen from the winter air, you feel your face grow hot. Eyes shaking, you don’t know where to look. You’re not even sure if you can meet his gaze. It intensifies with every ticking second his long bangs fall over his lashes. He let it grow out? You’ve begged him to do so for months and once you’re apart he finally gives in? You knew he’d look good, maybe even better than his shorter cut.

The sight only confirms that you’ll never understand him. But, you suppose, you don’t have to. He’s not yours to understand anymore, not even as a friend. That statement should give you a sense of relief, but it only resurfaces the loneliness you’ve been ignoring for months.

Shakily sighing, you plaster a polite smile and greet, “Hey Tae.”

Taehyung parts his lips, but his voice catches. He stares back at you, gaze dancing up and down your frame. He drinks in the way your black dress pants hug your curves, and how you dare to wear a tube-top under your coat in the freezing weather. Gulping, Taehyung flashes you a kind, tight lipped smile and moves aside to welcome you in. His chain looped earring dangles with his movements. It’s such a simple antic, but you cannot fight off the familiar comfort in your chest upon catching it.

Each step back into his apartment fogs your mind with memories of joy and despair alike. Sometimes, those emotions rise in tandem during the same memory, within the same five minute time span. But other times, those memories are saturated with one emotion or the other. You two could never find that balance; not as lovers anyway, not as you thought.

“Make yourself at hom-” he cuts himself off just as the door shuts.

You turn to face him, raising a brow at his slip up. Funny how things circle back no matter how much either of you try to suppress them. This place has always felt like home to you. In fact, revisiting it proves that it still does. He just never let you make it official.

The gloom of four months ago has followed you back in here as well, it would seem. You gulp down the little scratch in your throat and try your best to flash a smile. His brows raise at the gesture. You assume a teeth braced wince paints your features instead.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung corrects himself, “Comfortable. Make yourself comfortable. I’ll grab you a hot drink to warm you up.” His gaze shifts to the slanted window over his little studio sectioned in the corner of his apartment. “It’s really coming down out there.”

Setting your clutch down on his work table, you nod. He glares at your action before looking back at you. You are fully aware of his distaste for you to dump your things near his work, even if it happens to be your own sculpting supplies. However, he distrubed your date tonight and that little slip up of his recalls more anger than you care to accept right now. Playing into his pet peeves is the very least you can do to show him that you’re not here for anything else but fixing his sculpture.

With a pleasant smile plastered on your lips, you peel your jacket off and set it down on the table as well. Taehyung sarcastically smirks then makes his way to the kitchen. You know you shouldn’t but you let your eyes linger on his frame and follow him around the kitchen while he prepares something for you. His shoulder blades flex as he reaches for a mug from the top shelf - a detail you always found makes you anxious because the cups can easily slip out of his hand from such a height and break.

He must feel your gaze as he glances back at you. “You must be freezing,” he comments.

Looking down at your half top, you shrug. “Not really. That’s what a jacket is for.” You shouldn’t sass. It always gets on his nerves. But, the way he regards you with such tamed hostility and smirks all knowingly, switches something in you. You cannot hold yourself back and he cannot expect to call you over here in the dead of night for help only to glare and sneer at you.

Out of sheer spite, you sit on one of the stools by the table and bend down to untie your thick heeled boots. He absolutely hates this. Sloppy and messy, is what he tells you when you come into the apartment with your shoes on and take them off near his studio. Taehyung stirs the contents of your mug, tossing daggers at you in his stares.

It is only now, in the thick silence, do you hear the soft voice of Sinatra through the vinyl player. Glancing over at the source, you recognize the album cover immediately. It’s the same one you gifted him for his birthday last year. His next one is in a couple of weeks. The realization unexpectedly twinges your heart with guilt. You feel as though you should have already bought his gift, and planned his party. It’s not your responsibility to do that anymore, but you want to and that’s enough for your tongue to coat with disgusted remorse.

“Want me to get you a sweater?” Taehyung asks.

You sit up straight at the close sound of his voice. He stands in front of you with the mug in his hands, glaring down at your boots. Kicking them off by the heel, you stare down at the puddle you’ve made beneath the chair. You should apologize but, instead, you thank him for the drink, take it from his hands, and make your way to the project he’s been working on. He mutters curses under his breath before cleaning up the mess you’ve made… As he should.

You smirk into your cup before taking a sip. Hot chocolate. It’s all he can make, or cares to make. And though it is not your favourite drink, he still prepares it to your specifications. Extra sweet and creamy, with a dash of ginger. Could the habits of your past be muscle memory he cannot shake either?

The answer never arrives as your thoughts halt at the sight of his sculpture. Though returned back onto its pedestal, the torso seems to have endured a terrible fall. He’s so careful about things like this. How could he have let it happen? Was the inner wiring he used too heavy? Did he not use enough slip, otherwise known as wet clay, to keep additions in place?

You bite the inside of your cheeks to school your features. Still, there is no hiding the truth. Especially when it’s right in front of you. Redemption is nonexistent. The sculpture is ruined. Tilting your head, you stare at the unfinished molding and try to figure out how to fix it without adding more clay, since he claimed on the phone that he doesn’t have enough to start over.

“Well?” He asks behind you.

Looking back at him, you take another sip then hand him the cup to hold. Taehyung accepts it, bringing the mug to his lips. The gesture is so simple, so casual that you almost miss it. He did it a lot when you two were together. You did it too. It was never a pet peeve but rather something you were proud of. It proved how close you two were, how well you meshed. Sharing food is common between lovers. Only now, that’s not at all what you are.

You stare at him, mouth gape. He licks his lips before taking another sip. The action repairs your heart only for your reality to wreck it all over again. Catching your eye, he raises his brows in confusion. You flicker your gaze between him and the cup, hoping the silent gesture is enough to return his senses.

Eyes widening, he holds the cup away from his face. “Oh,” he hums under his breath. “I’ll, uh, get you a new one.”

“Don’t bother,” you shrug before he can even turn towards the kitchen. “It’s not that big a deal.”

It is. You’re not his and neither is that hot chocolate. He should know better. He should pay attention more. He can see this all in your eyes as you continue to silently judge him. It’s not that big a deal, you repeat to yourself. The way his large eyes soften, the way he pouts is not that big a deal. You have a job to do, feelings to ignore, and a person to never see again. All you have to do is remold the clay and be on your way.

Finally returning your attention to the sculpture, you approach it while pulling your hair back. It’s rather large since he scaled it to be life-sized, so you assume he has some structural wiring in there to keep it in place when molding. You might have to take it out and remold the entire section. But maybe you can simply push the wiring back in place? However, if your theory about the wiring being too heavy is correct, you might face another smash to the floor. So it seems easier to just pull it all out.

“Is the clay still wet?” You ask before poking the shoulder.

It’s tacky, but that’s not enough to keep it from drying. You scan the room for the spray bottle, finding it behind you. Being a sculptor yourself, you know that the clay has to stay wet enough to be able to continue to add and mold it. Your scan of the room reflects that he is close to finishing the project. He has the muse’s head and arms wrapped in air-tight bags to keep them from drying. They just need to be slipped, slid, and smoothed into place. The details also need to be added, but for the most part, he’s just about done.

“If you’re gonna figure it out yourself, why did you ask me?” He sighs as he sets the mug down near a cup of paint water.

His tone is uncalled for. Nothing seems to have changed. He still has a temper and makes no effort to readjust his attitude. You toss him a glare over your shoulder. After spraying some water over the sculpture, you start to dig your fingers into the molding. Taehyung sucks in a sharp breath behind you. You can’t blame him for such a reaction. It must be very disturbing to watch someone else dig through your hard work.

You take off the clay bit by bit, looking for the metal structure wires he must’ve used to keep it all shaped well. However, as you place another chunk on the table, you begin to realize that the sculpture is not hollow, meaning wires have not been used. He simply ventilated the slab of clay to help air bubbles escape when it comes time to fire it.

Furrowing your brows, you look over at him in confusion. He leans back against his work table with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at you. Is this a joke? He doesn’t need your help. He could’ve dug through the smushed clay and remorphed it himself. He’s more experienced than you are; he should’ve known this.

Your anger begins to fester in your chest. He must’ve heard. You still share some mutual friends, so he must’ve heard down the line that you were going out with somebody else tonight. Your outfit of choice is a clear indicator as well. He found out about your date, your first date in the last four months you’ve been broken up, and just needed to ruin it for you. Fuck, you can’t believe you seriously bought his lies again. It’s that stupid voice of his. So deep and soulful, you can never resist it’s lulling temptations.

“What?” Taehyung pushes himself off the table and walks towards you. “You’re pouting like you always do just before you’re about to shout. Is it that bad?”

Is that what he’s doing now? He’s trying to remind you how well he knows you, how well he can read you? If this is just another reminder that no one is like him, you just might prove him right and scream out of frustration. Huffing, you roll your eyes at him. No matter how much your heart flips and flutters at his concern, you will not fall for his stupid games.

He watches in confusion as you clean your hands off with a cloth. “God, (Y/N), what is it? I thought you said you knew how to do this.”

With a dry chuckle, you shake your head and mumble, “You’re still the same liar you’ve always been, Taehyung.”

The perplexed sculptor narrows his eyes. “What did I tell you about mumbling?” He questions in a grumble. “And what the hell are you going on about anyways?”

His tendency to be a walking contradiction will never cease to irk you. He tells you not to mumble then does it himself. Just another pet peeve he’s instilled in you that you can never shake. Then there’s the continuous lies he can never seem to stop telling. For once, why can’t he just be honest?

You toss the dirty cloth at him and make your way to his precious work table only to find that he moved your things to the chair by the door. You rush in that direction instead, and Taehyung follows not too far behind. “I can’t believe you’re still pulling this shit even when it’s over,” you scoff with a shake of your head. “You made it seem like you had no idea what to do. You guilted me into coming back here and for what? To ruin the first night I stopped thinking about you? Well, congratulations,” you drily chuckle as you grab your clutch and turn to face him. “You’ve ruined my night and my date.”

Taehyung pauses mid stride. “Oh,” he rasps, eyes roaming over your body once more. “You had a date tonight?”

Eyes wide, softened, and wet, his next words catch in his throat. All you can make out is a quiet rasp. It’s a convincing act, but you know him well enough to spot his feigned innocence from a mile away. Setting your jaw, you shake your head and sigh, “Not any more.”

You reach for your jacket, but Taehyung is quicker. He snatches it first and holds it behind him. You open your mouth to curse at him when he rushes to say, “Wait, wait.” Hand on your waist, he holds you still.

You freeze under his palm. He’s barely used much force. It’s the simple touch itself that sends you into a trance. The memories of being pinned beneath him, or guided into grinding against his hips rush back to you. Breath hitching, you try to wipe the affection from your features. The searching look in his eyes tells you how bad of a job you’re doing.

“I could fix it myself, but not by myself,” he clarifies. “I just didn’t know how to get you here without making it seem like it’s a complete disaster. Be honest, (Y/N), if I told you I wanted you to sculpt with me you wouldn’t have shown up.”

Be honest. When the fuck have you ever lied to him? The question is tempting to ask, sitting right on the tip of your tongue actually, but you can already tell that you’ve made your annoyance known as concern swims in his eyes. He’s trying to find where he went wrong in his explanation. He’s never done that before. He never notices your discomfort during a fight, but always after the fact. That’s enough to have you consider his explanation, to consider the fact that maybe he has not changed completely, but he’s trying. Perhaps you should start trying too.

Besides, he’s not wrong. If he didn’t make it seem like it was irreversible, you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation over or even thought about ditching your date. Chewing on your lip, you sigh and nod. “Fine, I’ll help you fix it.”

A relieved smile plays on his lips. He removes his hand from your waist, muttering a quiet apology then returns your jacket onto the chair. You set your clutch down on there as well, nowhere near his work, and follow him back to the sculpture. He sprays it down as you take another couple of sips from your hot chocolate.

“When is this due?” You ask as you set the mug down.

Taehyung’s gaze shakes. “At nine,” he reluctantly replies. He sets the spray bottle down. You stare at him in confusion.

The time is both seemingly vague and specific. You furrow your brows, blinking rapidly in hopes that you can reprocess the information for more clarity. When that doesn’t work, you ask, “Tonight?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

Thirteen hours? That’s all you two have to remold and detail a life-sized sculpture. This information alone would’ve had you running to help as well. Why didn’t he just tell you this? Why did he have to lie? No, nevermind his lies. You both have thirteen hours to remold the base, attach the head and arms, and add all the details on all four pieces. It may seem like a lot of time but you also have to let the clay sit for a few hours before firing. However, with a sculpture this large, it might need at least three days to dry. How did he expect to finish the rest on his own?

Nothing is adding up. You know Taehyung very well. You’ve shared sculpting classes countless times. His work comes first; always. He sketches and prepares months in advance for a project since the clay can crack or explode during its bake. How could he not have done the same thing here? He should’ve started this at least four months ago… oh.

Taehyung spares you a nervous glance. He can see the realization of his own reality in your eyes. You swallow thickly, knowing you should just pretend that you haven’t noticed anything. Still, you say, “Tae, we both know that’s not enough time. Even if we split the work, it still needs-”

“Don’t worry about that,” he mumbles. His hands smooth over every chunk of clay he reapplies. “Let’s just piece it all together, okay?”

There is a lot you have to force yourself to ignore in his words and tone. He mumbles orders, and expects you to follow. His voice is deep and cold. He gives you his back while he speaks. It’s but another pet peeve of his that makes you want to pull your own hair out. However, most of all, you have to force yourself to ignore how painful it is. Seeing him again, only an arm’s length away, crumbles your anger and hearing his voice reminds you that he still holds every bit of your heart. You have to blink your tears back at the realization. This idea reeked the moment you considered it. But, you can never stop yourself when it comes to him. A year of friendship and two of love; how can you forget all of that in four months?

Taehyung turns to you, his eyes trailing up from your hips to your chest where they linger. Flickering his gaze back up to yours, he offers a tight-lipped smile. You fail to find it in you to return it. He sighs. Hands by his side, voice heavy with sincerity, he says, “I won’t force you to stay, babe- (Y/N).” His slip up has him frozen in place as well. Clearing his throat, he continues, “I need to get this done and you’re the only other person I know who knows how I like it.”

The familiar pet name gives you pause, but the end of that sentence has you hot all over. Your eyes widen at the alternate implication of his words and you can’t help but choke on your next intake of air.

Taehyung’s expression mirrors yours. Face reddening, he’s quick to correct himself. “No, no, I just mean artistically.”

You cannot find the words to say something, anything to make this situation better. Lips parted, all you can voice are quiet croaks of uncertainty. His large eyes, wide with anxiety, watch you carefully. He’s clearly unsure of how else to soothe your discomfort. He goes to say something else but the words fall short. The scene has your skin crawling with shivers. Shaking your head, you walk around him to smooth out the clay he remolded.

“I’ll fix her waist. I think you should get started on the details,” you say, hoping his words can just fizzle away along with the awkward silence that has fallen over the both of you.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. His eyes remain trained on you for a moment, watching as you match the sculpture’s left side to her right. Then, he circles around you and makes his way to his work table.

Though you should be focused on your work, you still have one eye on Taehyung. The jumpsuit sits low on his hips, and his back is bare of any scratches. Your lasting desire to mark up the blank canvas of his back tightens your core. You can feel your black pants dampening at the thought alone. Your hand gently presses into the mold, smoothing out every piece you add.

With Sinatra’s calm voice circling around the room, you and Taehyung fall into a comfortable silence. The rhythm of your actions, the way you move around each other is like muscle memory. You can subconsciously anticipate the other’s next move and react accordingly. He hands you tools before you need to ask and you accept them without a second thought. It’s easy, comfortable, and so familiar that you almost forget he ruined your plans tonight.

Taking a step back, you wipe your wrist over your brow then assess your work. You’ve been trying to sculpt one of the figure’s breasts, adding clay and rounding out the mold. However, it seems like you’ve undershot a bit and made one mound a bit smaller than the other. You sigh and reach for more clay when Taehyung interjects.

“Leave it,” he says from his place beside you.

When did he step back too? He was just detailing one of the sculpture’s hands. “They’re uneven,” you point.

He smirks. “I like them that way.”

His eyes flicker to your chest again before meeting your gaze once more. You shouldn’t look into that gesture too much, but you do. He can’t say something like that, stare at your breasts suggestively and think you wouldn’t notice. Unless, he wants you to notice. You start to wonder how often he’s thought about your breasts and why he feels the need to incorporate them into his project.

While you remain standing in your place, Taehyung returns to his crouched position and continues his work. You can’t bring yourself to move just yet. You stare at the sculpture, at the curve of her stomach and dip of her waist. She’s full-figured and even has stretch marks on her hips, well the side that has not met the floor still has stretch marks. You need to add them on the other side. But, the shape of her body just looks all too familiar.

No, no, it can’t be. He didn’t sculpt your naked body entirely from memory. And why should he? You’re not a couple and he’s made it clear during those four months of silence that he doesn’t want anything to do with you either. No, this is merely just some consequence. You sigh and get back to work. Those thoughts completely boarded shut out of your mind.

“Were you having fun?” He suddenly asks, standing up to start detailing the sculpture’s breasts.

You glance up at him, about to ask what he means when you remember the date. “Oh,” you hum. You’re not sure how much to tell him, or if you should even entertain him with an answer at all. He’s obviously still affected by the break up if he let it get in the way of his project timeline. What was your date’s name anyway? Morgan, Mac, Mark- Mark! Yes, it was Mark something or maybe something Mark. Fuck, you can’t even remember his name. You’re not even sure where you met up for drinks.

Taehyung pauses his sculpting around the figure’s nipple. He chances a quick look at you, raising a brow. “That bad?” He teases with a playful smile.

His light-hearted tone shocks you out of your thoughts. Maybe you read the situation wrong. Maybe he is over you. Otherwise, why would he ask you about your date so casually, like you two were friends? Or maybe… he’s seeing someone else himself? Sumni did ask for your permission to date him. She was so kind and understanding in her questioning that you couldn’t refuse her. Even if it was a week ago, she would have already talked to him by now and they could’ve already gone on their own date. The sheer thought of Taehyung dating around makes your throat tighten and stomach ache.

“I didn’t stay long enough to make up my mind,” you reply, trying your best not to mumble. Your voice is small though, and tone shot by misery. A wave of hopelessness washes over you at how final everything between you and him feels again. “I don’t think he’s for me though.”

Taehyung hums in acknowledgment or understanding? You don’t know. You can’t pull yourself out of your self pity long enough to decipher it. “Poor guy,” he mutters as he picks up where he left off on the sculpture’s breast.

You carve uneven lines on the figure’s hips, recreating some stretch marks like he had done to the other side. Raising your brows, you question, “What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugs a single shoulder. “I just know what it’s like to lose someone as great as you,” he explains in a near whisper. “The poor guy is gonna lose his mind.”

Tears sting your eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t guilt you for leaving him, not when you both know that it’s just as much his fault as it is yours. Still, even in the midst of pain, the kindness laced in his words tugs the corners of your lips into a small smile. Is that what happened to him? Did this poor guy, this poor little sculptor lose his mind when he lost you?

You toss him a sidelong glance, whispering, “He’ll survive.”

“He can only pray to.”

What is this? What is he trying to say? So he regrets the way that things ended, perhaps even that they ended entirely. Does he think you don’t? Nothing can change how you feel for him. Nothing can hide how badly you wish you can still call him your own. But, he said it himself. He does not want you around, in such close proximity to him anymore. Two years into, what you thought was, a serious relationship and he does not want you living with him.

“I’ll grow tired of us,” he said. Or does he not remember? Did he forget how he promised he’d get you a key, or help you pack? Did he forget how high he got your hopes? Has the fear of getting bored of your company finally withered away?

What does it even matter now? You both said things you haven’t even attempted to take back. Not a single apology has been issued either. Whatever relationship you once had is gone. You can never get it back. Still, you don’t have the stomach to break it to him. You can’t destroy the last little bit of hope he has in you. You can’t find it in you to tell him that no amount of prayer will get you to willingly return to such a relationship.

“He hasn’t been in my company for too long to miss me. Actually, I’m worried he’s already grown tired of it,” you reply. Guilt immediately sheds your pettiness. You know you shouldn’t have said that. Though, he did egg you on. How could he have expected to bring up such a subject and think that you wouldn’t retaliate?

Taehyung tenses and shifts his jaw, giving the impression that he’s chewing gum, and turns to glare at you. From experience alone, you know very well that when Taehyung chews on his imaginary piece of gum, he’s either cocky, pissed or both. This time he has tears glassing over his eyes. Shame cringes your heart. You can’t bring yourself to look at him again. Getting even does not feel as dignifying as you thought it would. You cannot even find a shred of pleasure in seeing him so speechless.

Parting your lips, you try to soothe the sting of your words, only they all fall short. Every time you try to recollect them, they wither away. It’s almost like your mind is warning you from worsening the situation. But the silence is deafening. Sinatra's voice cannot even fill it. His disappointment is too loud; the shattering of his heart like an explosion. And your pain can never shut up. All you can hear is how miserable your soul is and how depressed your heart becomes upon every glance his way. It’s the soft look in his eyes, even when he’s glaring, and the little scrunch of his nose.

With a deep breath, you turn back to the sculpture to keep your hands busy. As you use the pad of your pinkie to smoothen out the stretch mark lines you’ve carved, you say, “We had a drink. That’s as far as we got.”

Taehyung clears his throat. His hands pick up where they left off around the nipple. “Had I known you were out, I wouldn’t have called,” he sighs.

You try not to scoff, particularly because he sounds surprisingly sincere. Sneaking a glance up at him from your squatting position on the floor, you try to search for his usual tell-tale signs. He always blinks one too many times in the same two minute span when he’s lying, that’s if he’ll even meet your gaze. He’s already looking at you when you begin to search his features. He holds your stare and you start to worry that you wrongfully cursed him before when you were convinced that he knew.

“You really didn’t know?”

He shakes his head. “Why would anyone tell me you’re going on a date?”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Would you want to hear that I have been on one?”

“Have you?”

Internally cringing, you snap your attention back on the sculpture. The question simply slipped out. He must know that. Of course you’re curious about his love life since you’ve left it, but you don’t need him to know that. And even if he was prying into your date tonight, you still don’t feel comfortable with him knowing that you’ve been wondering about him too, worrying that he’s found the love of his life and forgotten all about you.

Taehyung chuckles. “Do you really want to know?”

Three? Four? Five? How many dates did he have to go on to be able to ask such a question? You hold your breath the moment you feel your next intake waver. Running your tongue between the gaps of your teeth, you stand up and begin detailing the left breast.

“I’m not going to beg you,” you grumble under your breath while sculpting the nipple. Your eyes shift from the one you're working on to the one he perfected, making sure they’re at least even.

“Never had a problem with that before.”

He does not mutter it. He does not whisper it. He chuckles through the statement, cockiness dripping from his tone. Shooting him a glare, you find his jaw moving, the imaginary gum returning. Taehyung smirks at you, eyes dancing over your features like he’s figured you all out.

You raise your brows at him, lips slightly parted by a little smile. “Once again, Taehyung, your memory has miserably failed you,” you start only to widen his grin.

“How so?”

“You’ve been on your knees far more times than I’ve been on mine. You’ve whined louder too.”

He leans in, wrist against his stomach as he lets out a hearty laugh. You feel a rush of your arousal pool at your core just from the simple sound. Face growing hot, you realize how much you’ve missed this, missed him. He always laughed with his whole body, clutching onto you when clutching on his stomach never granted him any stability. Sometimes he’d brace his teeth in a boxy smile and let out his deep chuckles that way. So endearing, so cute, Taehyung would always loop you in his laughing fit as well.

Biting on the sides of your cheeks, you keep yourself from joining in this time. “Why is that so funny?”

Taehyung shakes his head at you as his laughter dies down. With a smile still gracing his features, he replies, “You’re always begging for me. Oh, I remember once you were on the table and you won’t let go of me and until I, and I quote, ‘rammed into you with the force of a thousand waterfalls.’”

Shit. You remember that day all too clearly. Taehyung had been painting and you were somewhere in the kitchen sketching his hands from a distance since he would always tease you about that. Somehow you found out he’d been painting you nude from memory and wanted to help him out. You began stripping for him, inching closer with every piece of clothing you shed. He watched you draw closer to him, and there was something about the way his eyes drank you in that you could not shake. It just made you giddy all over, dripping for his love by the time you were fully naked and within his reach. You were so horny, you said anything to make sure he ruined you.

Avoiding his eye, you reluctantly reply, “I do not recall.”

That statement tips him off immediately. His endearing innocence darkens; you don’t even need to look over to witness it happen. You can feel it. You can feel his demeanour change. Taehyung sets whatever tool he’s using down and towers over you. Stilling in place, you let him graze the bridge of his nose in your hair.

“Do you want me to remind you,” he whispers before pressing his lips to your ear, adding, “my muse?”

Knees all but trembling, you have to remind yourself to keep your eyes open. His warm breath fans over your skin, prickling goosebumps all over. His fingertips brush up the length of your spine, streaking your back with clay and leaving a chain of shiver in their wake. Then there’s that little pet name. Your soul shudders to hear it again while your core waters.

What does he even mean? How far is he willing to go to remind you how badly you wanted him?

Breath shaky, you gingerly meet his gaze. Noses brushing, you try to ignore how good he smells. His scent is always a cross between chalky clay and citrusy cherries. A whine threatens to slip out and you have to swallow thickly just to silence it. “You can try,” you whisper only to feel his hands on your hips.

The grey clay stains the hem of your black pants and a majority of your skin. Taehyung turns you towards him then presses himself against you. His semi-hard rubs against your stomach, making him groan. Seems like he’s falling apart faster than you are. Did he miss this too? Miss the way you smell, the way it feels to be near you again?

You rest your arms on his shoulders and he guides you around and back to his work table. It’s almost like a little dance, with the quiet music still playing in the background. Faces only a breath apart, the temptation to kiss him only grows. But giving in would only prove him right. After so many months, you cannot grant him this victory of being right, especially since he was the one in the wrong when you left.

When the back of your thighs meet the edge of the table, Taehyung shifts his hands down to your ass, gripping tightly and he lifts you up against him and onto the table. You have to choke back a moan just from the rough grip. Your lips brush against each other’s, but neither one of you is willing to bite the bullet first.

“Any of this familiar yet?” Taehyung asks. His voice is almost an octave deeper, saturated in lust and desire.

Smirking, you shake your head.

Taehyung tongues his cheek and cocks a brow. He leans back a bit, hands circling around your waist to rest on your thick thighs. His cocky grin widens as he pushes them further apart. One of his hands shifts up to your crotch, thumb grazing the seams. Face lighting up, Taehyung glances down at your crotch and brushes over it once more.

“No panites?” He questions with a chuckle. “This is looking more and more like that night then I thought it would.”

The confidence he oozes should annoy you, but you find yourself only spreading your legs further for him. Whenever he’s acting this egotistic, you cannot help but respond to it by giving yourself to him. This is a fact he knows well and uses to his advantage any time he’s ever felt like it.

You try to keep your wits about you, saying, “I wouldn’t know.”

Taehyung suddenly leans in. Your breath hitches at the realization that he’s swallowing his pride, that he’s finally going to kiss you. You’ve been dreaming about his lips for months, wondering how you’d be able to find someone else who just fits ever so perfectly against your lips. Eyes fluttering closed, lips in a faint pucker, you’ve inhaled deeply only to have him kiss your chin. He chuckles quietly against your skin, licking his way to your jawline all while leaving you breathless.

“You’re about to,” he growls.

As your body is in the midst of reacting, he somehow digs his nails into the seams of your pants and tears them apart. You gasp, shifting your hands from his shoulder to the edge of the table. You cannot help but stare down at the tear in amazement. Questions on how and why die in your throat when you find that Taehyung’s attention is not even on you anymore. He’s tightening his grip on your thighs and gazes down at your pussy. It pulses under his gaze, much to his own amazement.  

Squatting down, he licks his lips at this new angle. “Well, fuck,” he whispers. “How long have you needed me?”

Four months, you wish you had the courage to say. Instead you breathlessly reply, “I’m not sure this is what happened that night.”

“How would you know? I thought you didn’t remember.”

He’s only teasing but his tone is accusatory. You already know it’s because you’ve refused to answer his previous question. And your decision to talk back only adds to his shift in demeanour.  Once cheeky, his features darken into something closer to vexation. You’ve pushed the wrong buttons it would seem.

Narrowing his eyes, he orders, “Tell me, my muse. Tell me how long you’ve been needing me.”

You suck in a sharp breath. Pressing your lips together in a fine line, you refuse to make another sound, let alone utter another word. You’ll be damned if you have to admit that you regret walking away, that you cannot even remember the details of your date because all you could think about was everything he would do differently. Having to admit that for the last four months all you’ve been able to do is touch yourself to the thought of him or cry wouldn’t just be motifying but shameful and pathetic.

With a slow nod, Taehyung sighs. You think this is it. He’s ripped your pants apart, looked at every inch of your barest part, and teased you all for nothing. You’d maybe ask to borrow some pants, and he might give you some. But, other than that, nothing would’ve come from this interaction. The flirty comments and knowing looks would disappear with your relationship, this you feel you are sure of.

Then, he plays against your expectations; something you should have expected. Just when you’re about to bring your legs together, Taehyung spreads them apart further and shoves his face between them. He cannot use his hands there since they are covered in clay and, it seems, he also refuses to use his tongue. You cannot hold back the moans that pour out of you with every ministration. Merely smearing his face into your heat, Taehyung teases your clit. The bridge of his nose trails between your folds, lips pressing wet kisses to your tightening hole. From left to right, he shakes his face against your pussy.

You buck your hips against his lips, lacking shame and restraint. “Tae,” you moan, voice breaking.

Taehyung pulls away. Heaving and eyes half-lidded, he smirks up at you. He’s drenched in your arousal, looking like the cat who got the cream. “How long?” He mewls.

“Gimme your tongue,” you whine.

Taehyung mockly pouts up at you. He always looks prettiest on his knees, pretending to be in charge from such a degrading position. “Would you tell me then, babe?”

Your hips inadvertently roll at the pet name. You love it when he babies you like that, when he makes you feel so precious and fragile even though you both know you can rule over anything you want. Hesitantly, you nod. He raises a brow, waiting for verbal confirmation that you’ll tell him once he gives you his tongue.

With a little shrug of a single shoulder, you reply, “Why don’t you give it a try, TaeTae.”

His left eye twitches. You know exactly how that name affects him. His anger and powerful demeanor tremble when you dwell on him like that. He doesn’t need to tell you that he’s suddenly yours to overtake; his large eyes do the trick.

Swiping his tongue over his lips, Taehyung cleans his mouth from you. One little taste and his pupils expand, blown by lust and hunger. You don’t have to waste anymore time convincing him that you’d answer his question if he goes down on you. Your taste seems to be enough of a factor, in itself. He dips his head back in, tongue out this time. The tip pushes through your hole, lapping up your pooling juices. Leaning back on your hands, you gasp a loud moan. He knows his way around so well. One flick up, and your toes are curling. No amount of time apart has disturbed his memory of you. This may have been something you noticed while sculpting but now you can feel it. Tongue in and out, warm and wet, Taehyung explores your pussy like it’s his first time, only he knows everything about it.

You want to tangle your fingers in his hair, to see how the long strands feel in your hand, but they’re covered in clay too. And you know from experience just how hard it is to get clay out of hair. Once it completely dries, it almost seems like the only other option is to cut it all out. So, instead, you just dig your nails into the table, engraving your presence in the wood.

Rolling your hips into his face, you cry out your pleasure. Your legs are shaking, squeezing around his face, but he can’t seem to care any less. In fact, judging by his groans and growls, he seems to love the suffocation. He even pushes your legs further against his cheeks. Freezing in place, Taehyung only allows his tongue to continue to swirl around your pussy. His fingers harshly press into your thighs, sure to leave bruises, but you don’t care. Having him mark you up just like when you were together, is enough to make your eyes roll back.

You’re so, so close. Pussy clenching, his tongue still pushes its way in. He’s determined to see you through, to have you unfold right in his hands so hard that he still won’t breathe. And though you start to worry a bit, you cannot really pay attention to anything else besides the pleasure.

“Oh, Tae,” you cry. Voice breathy and high-pitched, it’s only a matter of time before-

It hits you hard, fast, and completely off guard. You have felt it growing and knotting in the pit of your stomach, but have no idea it would rush at you this harshly that you completely fall back on the table. Body convulsing, you scream and cream all over his tongue, mouth, and chin. His entire face will smell like you for days.

Taehyung forces your tightening legs apart, gasping for air. Gazing up at you, he sticks his tongue out and against your clit. He’s determined to help you ride out your high and nods his head up and down. You watch him through blurry vision, shamelessly rocking your hips up to meet him halfway. Or, at least you try to. Soon, you become all too sensitive to even hold his gaze, let alone grind against his tongue.

You fight against his hold on your legs, whining loudly. “Okay, okay,” you gasp as you try to seat yourself up.

He doesn’t care. That once yielding look in his eyes flashes into a demanding one. Seeing you so helpless under him shocks him with power once again. “One more time,” he pants against your heat.

“TaeTae,” you mewl, attempting to manipulate your way out of this overstimulated feast.

However, the use of the name this time, only spurs him on. He knows what you’re trying to do and doesn’t at all find it amusing. This time when he repeats his words, he growls, “One more time!”

Lips suctioning around your clit, he harshly sucks. Slurping and swallowing everything you have to offer, Taehyung holds your gaze. You’re a trembling mess. Tears falling freely down your face, you curse him three times over and buck your hips against his mouth. He finds the entire sight so humorous, he can’t help but smirk.

You’re still his little toy, a play thing for him to fool around with and test out some kinks on. The realization should make you curse him again and again, but you can only play into it. Pouting and mewling, you’ve fully sold yourself out just so Taehyung is well fed with your juices.

This is the peak of his games, you think. This is as far as he will go and you expect that you’ll cum in another minute or so. But then his teeth graze your clit once, twice, three times. You come undone within seconds. Arching your back, you let out the neediest cry you’ve ever heard and pathetically cum against his chin. The shudders and shivers of your body are beyond your control, as is your broken voice and any lasting grip you thought you had on reality.

As if biting and sucking your clit isn’t mindbreaking enough, Taehyung dips his tongue back in you to sneak another taste. “Taehyung, please,” you beg. “Please!”

He finally lets up, removing his face from your sopping heat and releasing his hold on your legs. You instantly bring them together and hug them into your chest. Heaving and shedding your last few tears, you try to recompose yourself and the silent atmosphere you once shared while sculpting.

“Strange,” he starts, returning to his feet. He takes his hands in yours, slowly unwrapping the hug you’ve cocooned yourself in. “It sounds a lot like that night. But, that’s not at all what I was doing then to make you this needy.”

To anyone else, you would've looked fucked out and completely ruined. But Taehyung knows that’s not at all the case. He has tested your stamina enough to know that you can most likely go for another round or two. Pulling your legs apart, he stands between them then helps sit you back up.

Faces inches away, you exchange breaths. “How long have you been this needy, my muse?” He asks again.

He really does smell like you. His cheeks, nose, chin, and lips are smeared with your cum. It doesn’t even look like he was feasting. It almost looks like he just wanted to cover his face with your juices. Gulping, you consider his question. You did insinuate that you’d answer the question if he gave you his tongue. And, holy fuck, did he give it to you. However, an insinuation is not a promise. He made that clear during your last argument.

“I don’t remember promising anything,” you whisper in a light pant.

The pain in his eyes cannot be neither mistaken nor missed. Echoing his words all these months later, surely recalls suppressed emotions of misery and betrayal for the both of you. He sneers a smirk, glaring at your lips. “Your memory has failed you,” he hisses. Gripping onto your hips, marking you there with bruises as well, he adds, “But, I won’t.”

“Not again, anyway.”

You sound colder than he does which causes him to hesitate for a moment. His hands fall by his sides as he searches your face for some sort of confirmation to continue. He almost seems like he’s not sure if he really wants to pick up where he left off too, seeing that you’re still upset with him. The guilt of seeing him so fragile and wounded eats away the majority of your anger. But, if he thinks he’s the only one struggling to make sense of this break up, he’s wrong.

Right now, the only way you can think of showing that to him is by first displaying your eagerness to continue in this sexual stroll down memory lane. You lean forward, brushing the tip of your nose against his, and reach down to his crotch. The dent in his jumpsuit throbs in your hand. His hard cock all but pulses under your palm as you rub at it. His breath hitches. You then untie the sleeves of his jumpsuit and watch carefully as his cock comes back into view. Fuck, you’ve forgotten just how pretty it is when it’s all pink tipped and desperate to be pumped. He shifts a bit, you assume to step out of the jumpsuit, and resettles his hands back on your waist.

Not another moment of uncertainty stands between you anymore. Swallowing his pride, Taehyung kisses you first. Lips on lips, the taste of yourself on his tongue has you moaning already. He  seems to take this as a sign to let himself go as well. He pulls you closer to the edge of the table and rolls his hips into yours. The length of his dick rubs between your folds, but he doesn’t enter. Not yet. He simply teases the idea of entering, of ruining you.

But, you’re too overstimulated to enjoy it in its entirety. Your legs resume their little shudders at the tiniest bit of friction when his cock just happens to brush against your clit. Taehyung, upon noticing this, makes sure to touch it with every new grind against you. He smirks when you whimper into his mouth and chuckles a bit when you break the kiss to whine his name.

“What is it, baby,” he coos. He grounds his hips harder into yours, erupting moans from the both of you. “Ah, shit, I could just cum like this,” he hisses as his mouth hovers over yours.

A little smirk tugs on your lips at his words. Yes, you may be helplessly falling apart with every passing second. However, watching him come undone from the impression of your pussy against his cock, is a rather prideful moment. You tilt your head and begin peppering his chin and cheeks with open mouthed kisses, staining his face with your saliva now as well as your cum.

“Then, just cum, TaeTae,” you whine.

Perhaps if you didn’t sound so desperate, he probably would’ve switched back into his own submissive state. But, it’s the squeal in your voice and mischief in your tone that only drives him further down his power trip. He pulls away a bit, holding your horny gaze with an unimpressed one of his own. He realigns his hips as his jaw shifts. He’s pretending to chew gum again. Holy shit, he’s going to fuck you senseless.

He does not push into you though. Instead, he pulls you onto him by the deadly grip he has on your hips. You stare up at him as a loud cry escapes you with every inch that stretches your walls. Taehyung looks back with very little remorse in his eyes. The sight of you so small in his arms, whipped for his cock, makes his tip twitch a bit. But he is not immune to the action of entering you, sucking in a sharp breath.

“I can’t believe I forgot how tight you were,” he whispers, voice breaking.

And you thought you could never forget how big he is, but here you are. Eyes rolling back, you relish in his size like it the first time. “Big,” you mewl as he bottoms out. “Tae, you’re so big.”  You sound just as broken as he does.

He cannot even find it in him to be cocky about it. He hears the realization in your voice. He knows you’ve forgotten too. A flash of pain twinkles in his eyes. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and whisper. “Remind me, Taehyung.” His brows quirk up and you add, “Remind me how good you make me feel. And I’ll remind you the same.”

Taehyung presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. Then, his hips snap in action. Holding you close, he starts hard and fast. He’s naked and growling into your ear with every thrust. You’re clothed and whining with every rumble of his chest and jerk of his hips. You didn’t even have to beg to bring out such a feral side of him. Could it be that he’s looking for the same thing you are? A lost lover?

Clay smeared fingers pressing into his skin, you push away that thought and scratch at his back. That once blank canvas of muscle and skin will now be lined with your lov- lust. This is just lust. You have to remind yourself of this fact every time he pushes into you.

He quietly hisses with each streak until he pauses his thrusts. You pout, leaning back a bit to ask if anything is wrong. But before you can even part your lips, Taehyung is readjusting his grip from your hips to your tube top.

“You’re a fucking slut to dress like this for him,” he growls. Then, in one swift motion, he pulls it down. You gasp as your breasts spill out, not out of exposure, but simply shock. He grips onto the rolled down top and smirks. “They’re a little uneven,” he points out. “But, I like that about them. Does he too? Does he get to see you like this, slut?”

You’ve got it wrong. It’s not your use of his nickname that has sent him spiralling into a pit of dominance, but rather that you went out to see another man. Is that why he ripped your pants apart? He’s destroying the outfit he thinks you wore for somebody else. Not only that, but his words only confirm that he is indeed sculpting you. All from memory, Taehyung has been molding your naked body down to the precise imperfection of your slightly uneven breasts.

And while you’re still trying to make sense of it all, he slaps one of them causing you to moan and throw your head back. Taehyung grabs a hold of your chin and drags your head back down to meet his gaze. “Answer me,” he seethes. “How much of you does he have?”

“None!” You shout. Your breathing is uneven, and you have to swallow the lump in your throat to continue, “I don’t even remember his name; he’s irrelevant.”

Taehyung circles his hips around yours, clearly pleased with your reply. But he does not pick up where he left off. “You haven’t been able to remember a lot tonight. Is that all irrelevant to you too?”

The shake of your head is reactive. You barely even had to think about it. This act of pretending that you don’t feel anything for him anymore has clearly fallen. “That’s not it, Taehyung,” you whine, hooking a leg around his waist. He wipes the tears streaming down your face as you continue, “I just didn’t want to remember us.”

Licking his lips, Taehyung slowly pulls out and eases himself back in. You tremble, watery eyes twitching in bliss. “Tell me how long you’ve been needy, baby,” he whispers.

“Have I not said enough already?”

You clutch onto his biceps and buck your hips up to meet his. He gasps, unable to hide his smile. You can tell he wants to finish this conversation but, with the way your walls are tightening around him, he doesn’t seem like he’s able to. One look in his eyes and you can tell he’s consumed by the pleasure all too much to reply.

Taehyung lets one hand fall to his side when he starts to pick up his pace. You shift one of your hands to his shoulders while the other holds onto the table’s edge. He holds you by the grip he has on your rolled tube top and smacks his hips against yours. It’s almost as if he’s riding a horse with the way he’s fucking you. And if you don’t whine loud enough, he’d slap each of your tits and force those screams out of you, growling, “You can do better than that.”

Removing your hands off him and back to the table, you accidentally rest your hand on one of his palettes. You gasp, looking over to find your hand smeared with blue and yellow hues. Taehyung laughs and rams into you faster. “You’re just making a mess wherever you go, hmm?” he teases.

You pout. He’s having too much fun making a mockery of you. Granted, you’re loving the attention, the way he’s fucking you into submission and realization, but you cannot let all this go to his head too much. As he smacks your breasts once more, nipples a little raw as they sting, you wipe your hand on him, down from his cheek to his collarbone.

He gasps, but his hips never stutter. Before you can even register his actions, Taehyung readjusts his grip from your top to your breasts and shoves his face between them. He transfers the swirl of dark blue and gold all over you as he fucks you as senseless as you predicted.

And as he playfully punishes you, blowing raspberries into your chest, you find yourself missing this, missing him. How could you have forgotten he likes to get playful, that he can switch between his two demeanours so seamlessly? He giggles when he pushes your breast into his face and further stains them with paint.

“The only one making a mess is you,” you rush to whine as your impending orgasm nears.

Dipping your hand in more paint, you rub the colours on his back and shoulders. You’re going to colour him yours if this is the last thing the two of you do together. Paint on his skin, in his hair, all over him, you’re going to make your impression here last through all the moans and whines and lewd slouches of your sensitive wetness around him.

Taehyung kisses his way up to your lips. He slips his tongue in once he reaches them and rolls his hips into you particularly harder than before. He can feel that he’s got you trailing the edge of your high. Thrust upwards, Taehyung reaches your most sensitive place. Every ram into it makes you shudder, toes curling and moans pouring into his mouth. One of his hands shifts up to your breast, massaging the smeared paint in, while the other holds your hips in place.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whines against your lips. “Come back to me.”

He can’t do this. He can’t beg you to come back with his dick shoved so deep in you like this. You’re so fucking close and he knows this. He can feel every inch of you tighten around him and desperate to be released. It’s cruel of him to manipulate you like this, to kiss you like he’s lost in the moment when he’s really just lost in you.

Kissing his way to your ear, Taehyung feels your pussy quiver. He smirks, thrusting hard enough to move the table back, and growls in your ear, “Come back to me, my muse. Cum.”

You fall back onto the table, body a total shaking shock as your orgasm washes over every inch of you. With one hand trembling over your lips, your other grabs onto one of your tits in an effort to brace yourself from the rush of ecstasy that overcomes you. The moans and whines that leave you are no exception to your convulsing state. Their breathless, broken, and blaring as you practically scream out in bliss.

Taehyung enjoys the show, watching you forget how to breathe from his place between your legs. He’s still going fast and hard, groaning when he feels you coat his cock in your cum. Mesmerized by the sight of your unheld breast bouncing with each of his thrust, he slaps it. You squeal at the sting.

And as you try to look at him, still riding out your orgasm, Taehyung’s cock twitches only to paint your inner walls with his missed affections. He falls forward, over you, burying his face between your tits again. You push them into his face and shake them against his cheeks, hearing him growl over your heart.

At some point, he stops thrusting and opts to circling his hips into yours. It’s all the same to you. Your legs continue to shake and your heart still races. Drenched in sweat, paint, and clay, you two lie there for a second longer. Even while growing limp, Taehyung feels so full in you.

He peels himself off you. His face, glistening in paint, looks like Van Gogh’s starry night, his eyes being the sparkling stars. He smirks down at you before trailing his gaze lower. That smile falls with every part of you he realizes he has ruined. Your chest is exposed and covered in colours, shirt non existent, pants clay stained and torn straight down the middle, and pussy a sopping mess of your mixed cum when he pulls out.

“I did make a mess,” he pants.

One step back, then two, then three. He distances himself from you as if ashamed of his work. You slowly sit up and cross your legs. Already, they feel strained and sore. But, they’re the least of your worries. It's the way that Taehyung winces at the sight of you, that has your heart somersaulting into your stomach. You swallow thickly between heaving pants and watch him carefully. He’s completely bare and looks even more broke than you do. His gaze looks vague and face sickly. Shaking his head, Taehyung runs a hand through his hair. He looks so annoyed with himself, he cannot even find it in him to laugh at the fact that he only got more paint in his hair.

Crossing your arms over your chest to cover yourself up a bit, you say, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

He blinks repeatedly, snapping his attention back up at you. “Why aren’t you disturbed by this?” He questions, voice all but breaking.

Your eyes scan up and down his frame before your brows knit together in confusion. Is he referring to his naked body, or that the two of you just came to the thought of dating each other again? Still, why is either of those things worth being disturbed over? A naked Taehyung post sex has never been a bad sight and, though things did end horribly, the thought of being with him again doesn’t seem so bad now. Did he not mean it when he asked you to come back? Was it just something to get off to? Are you just something to get off to?

“What?” You whisper now that your anxious train of thought has robbed your voice.

“Aren’t you dating?” He clarifies. “That poor guy. I can’t believe I just let us do that.”

You’ve never seen him this distressed. He walks back to you, just to grab his jumpsuit and briefs. He can’t even bear to look at you as you stare back at him in complete confusion. What does he think happened here? That you cheated? Clenching your jaw, you can't believe that he could think that low of you. Then again, you never did blatantly say that it was your first date since the break up. In fact, now that you think about it, you did make it seem like you were in a relationship with someone else.

Taehyung hastily gets dressed as you try to hop off the table without falling on your face from how weak your legs are after such a fucking. “Tae,” you start only to have him walk away. With a sigh, you call after him. He ignores you.

What the hell are you supposed to do now? You sure as hell can’t follow him with your legs so sore and he doesn’t seem to want to talk to you. And even if you could walk, your clothes are ruined and it would take a while for an uber to get here with all the snow coming down out there. The distant spray of the shower directs your attention to the hallway Taehyung escaped down to get away from you. Great, he’s showering and left you here to figure this all out yourself.

Taking a seat on the floor, you decide to give your legs a moment to rest before ordering yourself an uber and hoping that this night ends soon. You should’ve listened to your gut and rejected his call. You shouldn’t have agreed to this, or come here, or let him remind you just how much you miss and love him. All you ever wanted was- is him. If it haven’t been for this whole stupid issue about moving in, you’d still have him.

But, no. You had to force him into a step he wasn’t ready for. You lost him then and you came back to watch yourself lose him again. Is that it? Is that why you didn’t even explain yourself to the poor guy that was sitting across from you at Rollos. Yes, Rollos; that’s where you went for drinks. Wow, your memory really hasn’t served you well tonight. You hope you forget this tomorrow. You hope you'll be able to forget how pathetic you feel, how hurt he sounds, and how you lost him all over again.

“Get up,” Taehyung orders. His voice is rough, like he had been sobbing.

Looking over to him, you find that could’ve actually been the case. His face is tear streaked now as well as paint smeared. He stands a good few feet away from you, glaring down at your woefully ruined frame. “Taehyung, I’m not-”

He doesn’t seem to want to hear any of it. “Get up,” he repeats. “Go shower. I have some clothes for you to wear then I’m taking you home.”

“Tae, just liste-”

“Delete my number. We never talk about this again. And if you’re at all like the person I loved, you’d tell him the truth.”

Is he seriously judging you right now? You’ve barely even had a chance to explain yourself. He really doesn’t want to listen to anything you have to say, cutting you off like you’re less than him. You cannot help but scoff at him and his words.

Taehyung sighs. “Just please get up, (Y/N).”

“I’m not dating anyone.”

His superiority falls. The life returns to his face as he approaches you but you recoil into yourself the moment he steps forward. Pausing, he tilts his head at you. “What is it?”

What is it? This man is going to be the death of you. “You just shamed me for something that wasn’t true, Taehyung!” You shout.

“I thought you were cheating with me!”

You use the table to help yourself up and dryly chuckle. “Ha, yeah because lying is such a normal thing to do, right? I’m as twisted as you, Taehyung.”

“I lied because I knew saying no would hurt you. Why can’t you see that I was just looking out for you?”

That one sentence makes you freeze in place. Is he really that fucking dense? He can’t seriously believe that looking out for someone you love involves lying. Slowly turning to face him, you don't even make an effort to hide your tears anymore. “You were looking out for yourself and you know it!”

“I just didn’t-”

“Want to grow tired of me.” You finish for him in a mocking tone.

Taehyung huffs, shaking his head. “That’s not what I was going to say. Would you just let me finish?”

You’re done with this stupid conversation. All you want to do is go home and get as far away as possible from him and the way he smells and the fact that even though you hate him so much right now, you want him to come and hug you and tell you everything is going to be okay. But, he’s just so annoying. And you can’t bear to look at him anymore with that cold glare consistently being directed towards you. You’ll wait outside for the uber. Hell, you’ll just walk back to your apartment. Anything to get out of here and away from him.

In an attempt to follow through, you try to make your way towards the door, but your legs almost instantly give out.

“Jesus, babe,” Taehyung hisses, rushing to your side.

It’s not even just the fact that you’re sore but your ripped pants are starting to rub up against your cum leaking pussy. You whine a bit and try to shake him off in order to jump back onto the table. But, you’re thankful he stays by your side because you definitely cannot get up there alone with your lacking upper body strength.

His hands linger on your thighs, softening eyes locked on yours. A hint of a smirk plays on his lips before he says, “I remember doing this to you often.”

Yes, leaving you limping around the apartment was his favourite pastimes. He liked to watch you struggle to walk after every intimate moment. In fact, he always felt like he didn’t do his job right if you’re not limping. He’d go ten times rougher the next time around and then cuddle you to his chest, cooing reassurances in your ear. Was it bad that you wanted that all the time? That you wanted to sleep and wake up in the same bed he does everyday?

Slow tears roll down your face as you take his hand art stained in yours. “It was my first date since our break up,” you confess. “Sumni asked for your number… and for permission to go out with you. I just felt a little hurt that you were moving on.”

“She called.”

Your heart has shattered too many times tonight to even react to his words, but you can feel your soul shudder. She called. And did he answer? Did he have a drink with her too? You want to ask but your pride swallows your questions whole. All you can bring yourself to say is, “She’s a nice girl.”

He nods. Squeezing your hand, Taehyung wraps his arm loosely around your waist and stands in front of you. “I told her I wasn’t really ready to see anyone else yet,” he tells you, pressing himself against you.

The gesture is not at all sexual and you do not interpret it as such. Rather, it is tender and comforting. He releases his hold on your hand to wipe your tears, letting his own fall. Licking his lips, he whispers, “What’s his name?”

You shrug.

“Come on,” he half-heartedly nudges your legs. “Tell me.”

Does he think you’re trying to spare his feelings? Meeting his gaze, you can’t help but smile. He looks so cute, so precious in front of you. Playing with his hand, your fingers looping around his, you reply, “I don’t remember. I only spoke to him for half an hour or something.”

He cannot hide his smile, but avoids your gaze. Even still, you can see the relief within them. He seems to be pleased that you’re just as miserable as he is, pining after someone you cannot have any more.

“Is that why you came over?”

You shake your head before you can even think the action through. And the words leave your lips just the same, “I just missed you.”

“I really missed you too,” he croaks, rushing to say the words like he can’t believe them himself. “God, I’ve just wanted you back for so long.”

He’s all but sobbing in front of you. Parting your lips, you’re about to tell him that he doesn’t have you, not yet anyways. The fact is that he still lied, and has continued to lie to manipulate you. This cannot be forgiven so easily. You love and miss him dearly, but surely you cannot just take him back without discussing the cause of your break up first.

But then, Taehyung burrows his face into the crook of your neck and lets himself fall apart. Hugging you close, he cries into your skin. You cannot hold back the sob that tears through your throat just from the mere sound of his choked breaths and wet tears against you.

“I’m so sorry,” he cries as you cradle his head. “I’m sorry.”

The broken tone of his voice is enough to make you whimper into his hair. He sounds so fragile. This break up, you realize, has torn him inside out too. Pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, you try to console both of your fears. But every sob trembles your courage and every drop of his tears makes you recoil in guilt and shame. How could you have done this to him, to your relationship?

He shudders a breath as he pulls away. Red in the face, wet streaks staining his painted cheeks, he cups his hands under your jaw and says, “Look, you can move in right now, okay? Alright? I’ll get your things tomorrow. I’ll give you Jungkook’s key. He only comes here to steal our food anyways.” Just stay, please (Y/N).”

His voice is shaky and tone all but heartbreaking as he chuckles at his own little joke. The desperation is real and hard to deny. You cannot even open your mouth to even voice your reservations about dating again. Clutching onto his jumpsuit, you try to revert your gaze to your lap in hopes to find your courage and tell him that you need to talk first. Only, Taehyung dips his head low to catch your eyes again. He’s determined to have you stay. And your silence only provokes more tears.

“I promise I’ll never tell another lie,” he sobs. “I promise I’ll never let my worries get in between us again. Please, baby, just please stay. Say that you’ll stay.”

You cannot watch this for another moment longer. There’s lots you still have left to discuss, like why he’s so worried about growing tired of you, and why he felt the need to lie in the first place. But his promise to never do it again is enough for now. And you just can’t sit here watching him cry any longer. You pull him towards you, pepper his cheeks with gentle kisses then cradle his head.

“I’m not going anywhere, Tae,” you mutter into his hair. “Mostly because I can’t.”

Your attempt at a joke causes him to choke out a chuckle. He showers the crook of your neck with wet kisses, muttering into your skin, “I love you.”

Rapturing in a relieved frenzy, your nerves dance within your bloodstream and repair your ruptured heart. You let out a deep breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. “I love you too,” you cry.

The last four months haven’t granted you a shred of peace. You’ve lived and re-lived that argument over and over again, praying you can just go back and fix it all there and then. But, maybe… maybe it all needed to fall apart to fall back into place. Maybe it needed to rupture to rapture.

tags: @miinoongi​, @jenotation​, @allannahmalik​, @taeshuworld​

note; please do not leave hate towards me or any other readers. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my work without my permission.

[xianoii]

Compliment your moots! 💖 Let’s spread positivity! feel better btw ✨✨

this been in my inbox for a while but it seems so cute okok

( disclaimer : i’m so sorry if i didn’t add u, i either missed u or we don’t talk much! love to u all tho, mwah mwah )

@glowmiko ╱ obv have to start with my mokie bear. literally my favorite person ever to exist in the entirety of the world; u r so amazing. funny as hell, smart as hell & ur fine as hell even if u won’t admit it urself. i deadass luv u smmm like i say it all the time but i mean it bro, the absolute best mf to ever walk into my life, I LOVE U SO MUCH MOKAAAAA

@kazuwhora ╱ we don’t talk much anymore butttt i still do love u v much! i don’t know if i’ve ever said this to u but ur genuinely such an amazing writer. i hardly read fics anymore but when i have the time i’m indulging in urs because ur just incredible. literally everything i want to be. ur vibe is amazing n ur personality is so refreshing, i honestly see u as a big sister lowkey. from day 1 i knew u were so genuine & kind, but knowing u now? a big ole sexy teddy bear that i want to hug n smooch. mwaaahhh a thousand times, ily kc <3

@svgarslut ╱ sugarrr i literally freaked out when u followed me, i was a small blog back then nd was honestly kinda scared of you, BUT ur so fuckin sweet n i love that abt u. whatever u post is nothing like the last, n tbh u keep my dash alive. the start of the conversation n the life of the party, that’s who i see u as. so mf talented n wonderful to be around / talk to, ur just amazing bro. ilysm ><

@ickyism ╱ i was also freaking out when u followed me bc i followed u for a whileee KNFAOAOAO. but lulu. u r very unique imo. u jus kinda have this vibe, it’s very refreshing nd there’s truly never a dull moment with u on dash. u just say whatever n honestly ? i love it. when we do chat, i love it cus ur seriously just so . . lulu. sweet but with a lil side of u that cannot be described. unique in ur own lil way. ntm u have a gorgeous mf face lemme kiss it

@yaemona ╱ we don’t rlly interact much but u make me laugh omfggg. ur posts kinda have this like . . idk kinda warm vibe. sounds weird but for some reason i get a very comforting vibe not just from ur blog, but from u! super duper easy to talk to n v kind, i luvvv itt <3

IM RUNNING OUT OF COMPLIMWNTS IM BAD AT THIS BUT I MIGHT DO ANOTHER IF ASKED !!! i genuinely love all my cute mooties, u guys r the absolute sweetest n my faves! mwah to everyone, solar OUT LMFAOAOAO

[mtsuyas]

🎉 NEW GAME: Introduce your mutuals to everyone and what do you think of them? 🎉

OKAYYYY LETS DO THIS

@miykui is my number one. i’ve known them for what? a few years already i think? wayyyy before tumblr. besties since the beginning of time basically. the way they found my blog is 💀 but that’s a story for another time. if u hurt them i’ll fr end ur fucking life <3333 anyways they’re my everything fr. my babe is irreplaceable i love them

@kisakunt i met them through romi obv. the way i was shocked finding another jew on tr tumblr shit had me screaming??? BUT AYEEE they’re the best fr fr. i think of them i instantly think of kisaki they’re a pair. cant think of one without thinking abt the other. they’re funny as FUCK btw and they’re always making me laugh

@01-20-1992 SO FUCKING CUTE AND FUNNY literally never failing to make me laugh. was prob my first mutual when i made this blog and they’re so sweet??? like hello??? my bestie <333

@mqtsuno also another mutual i made in the beginning of my acc. literally chifuyus. ROCK BAND MEMBER CHIFUYU EXECUTIVE BTWWWWW JUST SO EVERYBODY KNOWS!!!!

@shujiphoria ngl she was my fav blog before i (re)joined like tokyorev writing tumblr or wtvr tf it’s called SHES SO TALENTED??? SO SO FUCKING TALENTED like whenever i read her works i’m in awe every time it’s absolutely crazy <3 she’s so sweet too it makes me wanna pass out

@maitani HER WRITING TOO i was a huge fan before yanno starting to write again and she’s also so fucking sweet!?! like whenever i see her on my dash or my asks i’m like YEAHHHH and i smile so hard

@solzu we became moots more recently (the past few weeks, if i’m correct) and AN ANGEL??? SHES AN ANGEL??? literally the past few weeks we’ve been moots i’ve been nonstop smiling whenever she posts or my comments or asks (which she does a lot, ty btw) she’s just overall one of my fav people ever <3

— i’m rly bad at words so like i’m sorry in advance BUT YEAH <333

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[pigstepmp3-moved]

holy hell, gamers, i finally reached one whole thousand followers! how bonkers is that! when i first made this blog in december 2018, i was just trying to start over in a new fandom. ive been active on tumblr for a looong time (since i was like 11, which is. not great, but we wont get into that). i cant remember quite why i decided to remake, but i never imagined getting a higher following than i did before, but i did! 1000 followers is bonkers, i’ve never had a thousand of anything! i seriously cant thank each and every one of you enough, whether you followed me for 911 or for mcyt or for whatever!

now, since ive reached this absolutely bonkers milestone, im feeling particularly sappy! so under the cut, i have some friends and mutuals tagged who are super great n who are always an absolute pleasure to see on my dash! <3 again, thank you all so much! (ps, if we’re mutuals and i didnt tag u in this, that doesnt mean i dont love and appreciate you!! i mostly am just picking people to tag based off how often i see them on my dash! i love all of u so much <3)

♡ 911 FRIENDS ♡

(aka the ogs, aka the fire fam)

♡ @lovelessmotel ♡ emily!! god, where do i even begin with how much i love and adore you!! i know youre one of my big sisters, but wow i am so proud of how much youve discovered yourself since we’ve met!! like wow, look at this epic, gorgeous person whos one of MY close friends! im so lucky to be friends with you! thank you so much for being my friend, i appreciate you and all the sisterly advice you’ve given me more than i can ever put into words!

♡ @eddiediaz-buckley ♡ sav!! mom!! i love u so unbelievably much!! i am so unbelievably grateful for you and everything youve done for me! all the advice youve given me and all the times youve let me vent to you have been so important to me and i cannot thank you enough for all that. im soso appreciative of you and im so glad that i have someone as amazing as you as my mom/big sister (we’ll never really figure out our fams family dynamics, will we?) (ps, whenever i go outside and have my keys with me, its always so comforting to feel the keychain you got me! its like my moms with me everywhere i go!)

♡ @liesoverthec ♡ bonbonbonbon!!! i love you so much, you wouldnt BELIEVE how much i love you!!! im so glad we met bc you are so unbelievably kind!! there is a very good reason a nickname for u is bonbon bc you are just as sweet as candy!! maybe even more so!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, you give such wonderful advice and talking to you always makes me feel a million times better!! i love you and i am soso glad i get to call you my friend!

♡ @marauder-girl ♡ sabsabsab!! i love u so much, u funky lil future lawyer!! im so proud of u and i can hardly believe ur gonna be my Lawyer big sister!!! thats so awesome!! i cant believe such a rad person is one of MY friends!! how lucky am i!! i love having you as one of my big sisters, youre so kind and funny and talented and your advice has always been so helpful to me too! thank you so much for being my friend and for always being there for me!!

♡ @nighting-gale17 ♡ cait, my love, my wifey!!! wowowow i love u so much!!! im so glad we’re friends, you are so unbelievably lovely!! youre also so unbelievably talented like??? hey queen wanna hand some of ur writing ability over to the unfortunate (like me). i’m so glad we’re friends, youre so sweet and even tho we dont talk as much as we used to, i still have SO much love for you in my heart

♡ @africaneuropean ♡ rae, my father!! i love u so much!! i know we havent talked at all in. who knows how long. but i still have so much love for u in my heart!! you are so iconic and cool and funny, im so glad i met you n became friends with you!! ur one of the coolest people i know, i hope i can be as cool and mysterious and wonderful as you one day

♡ @evaneddie ♡ DHYL!!! dhyl pickle i love u so much!!! whenever u pop into my inbox with random nice messages, every part of me lights up!!! u are so kind to me and for what!! i miss talking to u as much as we used to, you are so sweet and you are such a good friend!! i love u n im SO proud of how far youve come with gif making, i still remember when u first started n youve gotten SO amazing at gifs lately!! i love u soso much n im so glad we’re friends, youre so awesome!!!

♡ @basil-the-writer ♡ des!!! i love u so much!!! i know we’ve never rly talked all that much but im glad we have interacted in the ways that we have!! u are so sweet n so talented!! like the fact that u have the patience for those lil video edits u do?? that is so cool!! all ur edits are so cool, i cannot imagine being able to make stuff like that without dying every single time. u are so cool n i love being able to call u my friend!!

♡ GRIFF ♡

(aka griff)

♡ @yawnralphio ♡ u get ur own section bc u are my only 911 friend who isnt an og, but thats ok bc u are so swaggy!! i love being friends with u griff, u are so cool and funny and i am so glad that u still want to be friends with me despite all of the horrifying things u’ve learned about mcyt from me jdhfajkdhfa. i love u so much n i am so excited to get to know u more n get closer to u!!

♡ FRUITBLR ♡

(aka mcyt friends)

♡ @fear-epidemic ♡ atlas u are so swaggy and funny!! tumblr funny man!! im so glad we’re mutuals, i love u a whole lot. that one time u me n wilby played bed wars together was so fun even if we’re really bad! n that one time we played on the fruitblr server while on vc was so fun, i loved talking to u n playing with u so much, we gotta do that again sometime. i love u so much chapin n im so glad we’re friends!!

♡ @netheritedream ♡ hari my beloved... i love u so much. like literally so much that its really embarassing. i am so glad u tagged me in that one follow forever post n put the offer on the table to let me join the server. i love being ur dumb lil husband!!! jus like actual fundy, i would risk it all to watch treasure planet with u. i love u sososo much, i wish i could live closer to u so i could actually talk to u more often </333 im going through severe withdrawal, pray for me. im gonna stop talking for now bc if i kept going on, this post would be several miles along n nobody has time for that </3 just know that i love u so much and i love having matching icons n i love being ur husband, i love u so much

♡ @sootswilbur ♡ tommy... i care you so much. little bromther!!! im sososo glad we’re friends bc u are so kind to me all the time n u are so easy to talk to!! ur also so talented, ur writing n ur gifs are so amazing n im so proud of all the awesome stuff u make!! seeing u experiment more with ur gif sets n trying new things is so awesome n inspiring and i love seeing ur experiments work out!! i love u soso much n im so happy to be ur big brother!! (or one of them at least)

♡ @fruitbur ♡ virgil my Other beloved... i love u so much!! u are one of the kindest people ive ever met n im so glad i met u!! i know ive already told u this before but ur tagging system is so sweet n i love seeing u reblog my posts bc im like “yay alastair is gonna tell me that he loves me in the tags :D” i also lovelovelove ur theme, i love the soft pink and the lil aesthetic board that u have pinned, its so nice to look at!!! ily sososo much <333

♡ @theartofmining ♡ hey fruit ily. like genuinely, u are so unbelievably funny that u make my ribs hurt so much. i know we’re like never rly that serious but i love u so much. as much as i joke about hating u, i really am glad we’re friends n i really look forward to becoming better friends with u. i love u a whole lot rain, i love seeing u on my dash bc ur full of good takes n funny posts

♡ @sapnaplive ♡ dream.... bonks our foreheads together... i care u so much. my other half!!! i love u with my whole little heart. u are soso cool and im so lucky to be able to call u my friend!! ur themes are always so cool, i wish i could be half as cool as them!!! ur art is also so epic like??? u are a triple threat: good at art, tumblr themes, AND minecraft building. and ur also so kind!!! u are one of the sweetest people i know, i love u so much and im so glad im friends with u!!

♡ @dreams-little-kitten ♡ corn u are so weird and i mean that in the kindest way possible. u are so cryptic n i love that so much about u. ur like the wilbur to my philza sometimes and i think thats so awesome. that one time u came into my inbox to talk shit about that one cuphead boss was so funny and absurd, i loved that so much. i love You so much. i love how ur just so effortlessly funny, n im so glad i can be friends with u

♡ @dreamsmp ♡  JEL!!!! i love u so much holy cow. u are so sweet!! all the time!!! ur also so talented, ur gifs always look so good!!! i love being friends with u, ur always so nice to me n u always leave rly nice tags when u reblog my gif sets that make me so happy!!! i think about that one time u rbed my fundy gif set n said “FUNDY GIFS” and “GIFS BY FUNDY” it made me so happy!!! i love u a whole lot, im so glad we’re friends :)

♡ @leaguelol ♡ damien!! i love u so much u funky little cryptid!! i love when u pop into the gc just to share cryptic thoughts, u are so strange but i think thats so cool of u!!! i honestly see u kinda like a lil sibling, im always so proud of u when i see ur art on my dash!! u are so talented at art!! i love u so much n i love being ur friend, ur rly sweet n i love seeing u on my dash and in the gc!!

♡ @its5undy ♡ idk why im putting u on this, ur my mortal enemy. jkjk, i actually love u a lot clay! i love joking around with u, ur so funny and for what. im so glad u joined the gc bc i love talking to you so much!! i still love that one time u reblogged that fwt gif set n tagged me in it moments after I reblogged it. i love that u thought about me, that rly warms my heart! i love being friends with u sososo much

♡ @cavalreee ♡ oh hey, another great big fruit!! i dont think we talk all that often, which is a shame, bc ur so sweet!! and also so fucking funny, why is everyone in this friend group so fucking funny, its not fair. i love seeing u on my dash talking with ur other friends, u always have the funniest convos ever. also? ur desktop theme is SO epic, it threw me off the first time i saw it but its so swaggy, just like u!! i love u soso much azzie, n i hope we can talk more in the future bc ur so cool

♡ @technosoot ♡ i love u even tho ur a br*t /j /j /j. jannat u are so unbelievably sweet. im so glad u joined the gc bc u are such a kind presence both in there and on my dash! u radiate very Warm, Friend energy. ur friend shaped. i love u so much n i love being friends with u!! im very eager to become closer friends with u bc u seem like a really amazing friend to have

♡ @sortasortaspicy ♡ les where are u in the gc i miss u </3 i love u so much, u fit in so well from the very beginning n brought so much more fun and laughter into the gc. i dont know u all that well n i dont think we’ve talked one on one like. at all. but id love to get closer to u bc ur so rad and ur so sweet!!

♡ EPIC PEOPLE  ♡

(aka mutuals who are so cool n id love to be friends with u pls talk to me)

@eurytherm ♡ @vampkings ♡ @weelbur ♡ @wilburtheesoot ♡ @quackityskarl ♡ @wimblrscoot ♡ @technofarmer ♡ @wooteena ♡ @bloodforblood ♡ @smpsapnap ♡ @literallynotfound ♡ @hearty-an0n ♡ @enderanboo ♡ @springbonniecpu ♡ @pandascanpvp ♡ @tommylnnits ♡ @strawberrygogy ♡ @timedeo ♡ @nymika-arts ♡ @h-isforhome ♡ @eboykarl ♡ @joe-alkaysani ♡ @betwecouldmakesome ♡ @squirrelstone ♡ @maddieandchimney