#i actually got to see a bunch of his pieces performed two ish years ago

[sanstropfremir]

okay, so here I am half an eternity later - musicians music: I think there are two genres of musicians music, but they are actually the same, the showcase of incredible skill. Like, musicians claim to like the Paganini caprices, but if they have any honesty in their bodies, they will admit that they sound terrible. No one likes listening to a Paganini Caprice, EVEN when played by a very very skilled musician, they are not pretty music. Difficult music, interesting music, but not pretty. But it is cerebral, it's an active, thinking kind of appreciation, we like them because of the underlying context that we have the vocabulary to identify. Like puns in a foreign language or something. And maybe it can be hard to turn off the part of your brain that takes in all that analytic part of Listening To Music As A Musician, and then pop, for example, can get boring and repetetive very quickly, unless you re-learn how to just listen and appreciate how it sounds. Now, back in the olden days when we recorded on tape and studio time was almost prohibitively expensive, instead of just expensive as it is today, the most valued studio musicians were the ones who were almost supernaturally perfect at it - in time, in tune, with consistent timbre and rubato and vibrato and all the things, so they could go in and record it from the top three times, and that would be enough for the engineer to have everything they needed for a good frankentake to send to mastering. It should also, preferably, not have to much 'personality', because the studio musicians are just putting down the music the singer is going over. They were extremely skilled musicians, and a few clusters of them also had their own bands, playing their own music, where they got to headline - but most of those never got anywhere particular, because to the audience, it was Too Perfect. (Now, of course, the better the musician, the more likely there'll be mistakes in recorded materials, because the better the musician, the more likely they are to have gone in and done it from the top twice, and no more, unlike the types who'd have punched in everything eleven times over) And Too Perfect, without the context of how hecking hard that is to do, sounds bland and boring. Perfect for a singer to put some personality over. Perfect for a film soundtrack where the focus is character and dialogue. But Boring on its own. That is the second genre of musician music. I think the advent of digital recording and the digital sound processing tools we have available to us now will change the perception of this second genre of musicians music - because with digital recording you can do proper punching in, recording the song one line at a time, several times over, not just taking the best bits from a few full takes, and with digital processing tools we fix tempo and timing so that it always hits perfectly, and we pitch correct so that everything is always in tune (none of this means the musicians aren't skilled, the better the raw material the better the engineered end product, pitch correction and timing adjustments can make a good singer great, but not make a bad singer good, and using the tools themselves is part of the artform itself) will this make the General Public(tm) more habituated to (borderline) boring music without unintentional quirks, and will that mean that, if one can find the masters for those studio bands that music wouldn't read as boring anymore? I think yes, because this 'perfection' of a sort is now available to everyone recording, and not just a display of skill that only the top of the top among studio musicians can do, and a lot of what we think of as pretty or beautiful and enjoyable is a matter of habituation. You can always get an applause at a concert by playing a song the audience knows, even if it isn't a very good song, because recognition is important.

Digital recording means we aren't limited to literal tape, so ALL music we hear recorded will be punched in, have many many many many takes, will be in tune and in time. (something something the limitations of the medium is what we recognise it for 'sounds better on vinyl' my ass, but there is a character to vinyl, and it is all the ways in which is isn't good at capturing the fullness of sound)

And lastly, I will defend autotune to my dying day. Pitch correction is good, if you can hear the 'autotune' then it was done intentionally as an effect box (usually a vocoder style thing), have some fucking respect for audio engineers, they know what they're doing and can hear the same thing you can. (if I never see another shinee fan go 'why all the autotune, they don't need it' again it will still be too soon, it's AN EFFECT, you are free to not like it, but that doesn't mean it was a mistake)

-🎺

🎺 anon i was JUST thinking about you!!! thank you for finally coming in with this, this is so fascinating!!

it's really interesting how now in the age of ever perfectable digital creation, that the evidence of the error, the human is becoming more and more desirable as an aesthetic (or aural) choice. there's a quote from someone that i cannot remember for the life of me that paraphrased reads something along the lines of what we saw as inherent flaws in analogue media are now desirable as nolstalgic and aesthetic choices, in specific reference to things like film grain, crt refresh lines, and video glitches. in contemporary art circles you see a lot of people who are heavily focused on medium or concept based work that very often makes use of older analogue methods on purpose. i have two friends who both do 'slow process' photography, as in one of them shoots with a tintype camera and does only old school chemical processing, and the other does experimental chemical processing using natural materials. and maybe it's because i am an artist and have been one all my life, but the strive for perfection doesn't have the same draw for me anymore because it's now so easily accessible. i like to see the flaws, to see the evidence that it was made. and it absolutely makes sense that there would be parallels within the music field as well.

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

[heartsofstrangers]

What has been one of the most challenging things you’ve experienced or are currently experiencing?

“Probably drug addiction.”

Tell me about that.

“Since I was fourteen years old, the first time I ever tried it, I’ve been intermittently addicted to crystal meth. The past four years, it’s been pretty consecutive other than the four months that I spent in jail two years ago. I guess that’s the gist of it.”

When did you start using it?

“I was about fourteen years old. I used to do it every other weekend with a group of shitty friends that I had made.”

What was going on in your life at that time?

“I had just lost my best friend, who was like my brother; we grew up together. He died from complications due to diabetes. I saw that they were using it and I had taken Adderall before. I thought it was like Adderall, except you could snort it or smoke it, and I thought that’s always fun. I recognized that they were carefree on it, and I wanted to be like that, so I did it.”

What was it like the first time you got high?

“It was sketchy and I was on edge. I don’t know if you’ve done any sort of upper, but it’s intense. It actually made me feel disgusting for a while. I felt really gross the entire time and then coming down was awful, but something inside me wanted to do it again, so I did. It disconnected me from the world. All that really mattered was scribbling on a piece of paper for hours on end. I guess it was really getting lost in reality.”

How did your life unfold—were you in school at that time?

“It kind of caused me to ‘fail out’ of high school; I didn’t drop out, but failed out pretty bad. I had to retake my sophomore year on the computer and graduated at the bottom of my class because of it, or the choices I made while on it. I don’t really know if I was in control or not then.”

You talked about jail—how did you end up there?

“I got arrested leaving a drug deal in June 2015 and then, after my parents bailed me out, I stopped going to court for the probation sentence and a year and a half later, they picked me up at my older brother’s apartment at 11:00 p.m. Six bounty hunters apprehended me and  then I spent the next four months in Montgomery County. I was there for Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s, and almost my birthday, all behind bars.”

What was that like?

“Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. It was pretty shitty and I was very confined. I was in a sixteen-man room for the most part. It was me and fifteen other people, all in a big-ass room full of bunk beds, having to stare at each other all day.”

Where did that lead you to mentally? Did you process anything in your mind about where you had been, where you wanted to go, where you were?

“I just wanted out. It kind of made me feel like an animal. In Texas, I don’t know what it’s like anywhere else, but you become state property when you’re incarcerated; you lose all your rights. Basically, you’re a body with a name. You’re not a human in there. It’s weird.”

How long ago was that?

“It was January 2017.”

Where did you end up when you were released?

“Back to my older brother’s, and he does dope too. I went right back to where I started, or stopped at midway.”

So, you were sober and clean in jail?

“Yes, while I was there.”

Did you go through withdrawal?

“I slept for the first four days. I didn’t eat or use the restroom; I just slept.”

So, you get out, move back in with your brother, and get right back into it?

“The night that I got out, I used.”

What’s your relationship like with your family, aside from your brother?

“I don’t talk to them, only whenever they speak to me and, even then, it’s usually just my mom, and it’s like once every two weeks, sometimes twice.”

What are those conversations like?

“I love you, I miss you. I love you too, I miss you too.”

Do they live locally?

“They live about two hours away.”

Do they kind of push you away due to your addiction?

“I alienated myself because I knew I’m not anyone a parent could be proud of—that’s how I feel. Because of my problem, and I don’t want them to see me like this and I won’t let them. So, I pushed myself away from them.”

Have you done that with close friends as well?

“I’ve done it with everyone.”

So, who are you associating with, dealers and other users?

“Yeah. I dated this dude for almost a year and he basically isolated himself away from me recently because of it. That really fucked me up a little bit because I feel like I put so much into it, but really it was just me high as hell, overthinking everything, all the time, slowly dissipating into nothing.”

It’s got to be a pretty lonely feeling to be that isolated.

“Yeah, but you’re never really alone when you’re a drug addict.”

Because you’re connecting with your substance.

“I’m perfectly fine with being alone, but I’m not okay with how lonely I am most times.”

Are you scared at all to continue down this path?

“Yeah, because I don’t know where my life’s going. So, I just get high and it’s like ‘where are you going now?’ to go get high.”

How can you afford to get high?

“My best friend sells it. My only friend just happens to be a drug dealer.”

Are you performing any sort of acts or anything in exchange?

“No, no, no; we’re just really good friends and misery loves company. He’s basically in the same spot I’m in.”

What are some of the things you’ve lost along the way through these years of addiction?

“Honestly, I lost my sanity, a lot of good friends, and a close tie with my family. I lost my car. I lost my license. Somehow I lost my social security card, but I don’t think that had anything to do with drugs. I lost my apartment, but that was at the beginning so that’s not a big deal.”

Where are you living now?

“I live with my friend, Pat, who is also a drug addict, but he’s a more functioning one, I should say. He’s held a job for four years and his addiction is kind of new and, ironically enough, I’m the first one he ever tried it with, which is kind of funny or fucked up.”

Have you ever been in any situations where you felt like your life was being threatened?

“No, not really. Not that I can think of, but I don’t know . . . no.”

How’s your judgment when you’re high?

“You can rationalize just about anything. For the most part, I would say it’s pretty good. There are dumb people who get addicted to drugs and there are people who are addicted to drugs who already have a good grip on reality and are able to make the right decisions or rational ones at least, but I’ve done some pretty stupid stuff.”

What are some of the stupid things that you’ve done?

“Not put the filter on a vacuum cleaner and small things like that. I’ve never done anything really stupid like rob anyone. I did, however, one time throw a brick through a window. I was super pissed off at the person who lived at the apartment and, in a fit of rage due to addiction or substance use, I picked up what was closest to me, which happed to be a chipped piece of concrete by the curb and chucked it threw the window. I don’t know how’s that going to fix it, but it made me feel better. It was really stupid.”

Prior to losing your friend, had you experienced any sort of obstacles early on in your life that taught you some coping skills to deal with grief, pain, or challenging experiences?

“To isolate; that’s all I’ve ever really known. Get over it and, if you can’t, shut up about it. That’s what I was basically taught.”

Do you want to stop?

“Yes and no. Crystal meth is the only thing that’s kept a roof over my head while, at the same time, it’s kept me on the edge of losing that. It’s the only thing that sort of keeps me connected with the real world because I have friends and acquaintances who use and who keep me from going insane living alone. At the same time, those people come and go. Those people aren’t necessarily friends you want to keep around; they’re people who are just going to bring you down because they’re going to keep you high. I’m aware of that but, at the same time, I can’t stop. So, yes and no. I was sober for about a month and moved to New Mexico with my ex. That didn’t turn out well, obviously. He flew me back here on a last-minute, overnight flight and I started using again.”

How old are you now?

“Twenty-four.”

So, you’ve been using for ten years?

“Just about.”

Any issues with your health?

“No, not that I know of. I probably have shaky hands, but so does everybody.”

Do you sleep?

“Yeah, every night, which is kind of an achievement really if you’re a crackhead like me. I’ve kind of plateaued. I’ve reached a level of tolerance that makes me have a normal sleeping schedule, which is something you really don’t want to be but, at the same time, I’m glad I’m there because now I’m normal-ish. I don’t look cracked out.”

What’s your biggest fear?

“Dying—not from drug use, though I guess that would suck too, but just dying in general, because I don’t know what’s going to happen after that. Maybe my biggest fear is actually not knowing and being unaware.”

In contrast, do you feel like you’re living?

“I feel like I’ve been dead since I was about twelve, but I don’t think that had anything to do with drugs, but the realization of how fucked up the world really is. I think I’m living in a way—I get to do shit that not everybody gets to do, like not have to work, I’m able to explore the city, and that’s what I do every day. I go to different parts of the city and sketch around, but I’m probably not really living, not in a way that’s (I guess) savory.”

Did you grow up here?

“No. I grew up two hours northeast, in a little town, Cold Springs, with about 900 people, and that’s consolidated because it’s a bunch of small towns put together.”

What brought you to Houston?

“Drugs. I bounced from circle of users to circle of users to circle of users until I ended up in Kingwood. Kingwood is right on the outskirts of Houston. I just migrated over here, made friends wherever I could, and now I’m here.”

When you agreed to do the interview, did you have any idea that you’d be talking about this?

“No, not at all. I honestly had no idea what it would be about. I was just like ‘an interview, okay, that’s fine.’ I thought maybe it was going to be ‘how do you feel about Houston’ or some sort of typical bullshit interview, but I didn’t think it would make me open my eyes to shit I’ve been closing them to or haven’t said out loud in a while. I’ve said this stuff before, ‘I don’t want to do this.’”

How does it feel to hear yourself expressing these things?

“It kind of pisses me off.”

In what way?  You’re pissed at yourself?

“Yeah, because I know I’m just going to go get high afterwards.”

Are you high now?

“No. I used, but I’m not high. I guess that’s high; I don’t really know. The last time I used was about six hours ago. I get high and then there’s other days where I just get by and, today, is a just a get by day because I didn’t do too much of it.”

What happens if you don’t use?

“I sleep and I’m dead to the world basically, which is probably what I am now, but in a different way because I’m asleep. I’ve slept for thirty-six hours straight before and my friends have asked if I had a bladder infection, and I said that I was good, just tired. When I woke up, I had muscular atrophy, where I couldn’t really feel much, and then I’d just waddle around until I found food, and then I was good.”

Would you say you’re depressed?

“Probably clinically. I used to take Pristiq, but it didn’t mix well with my meth use, so I cold turkey stopped taking it after about six months. It’s a serotonin replacement or something, but I thought it was kind of bullshit. I’ve been told before by friends that I’ve been manic; they would say ‘wow, you’re pretty manic’ and I’d say ‘yeah, I know.’”

Do you think you were like that before the drugs or has that manifested since?

“Half and half. I’ve always been kind of bipolar-ish, but this has really intensified it or brought it to a meniscus versus overflowing. If it was overflowed, I’d probably be in prison, but it’s definitely got to that point.”

What keeps you in that elevated state?

“Being aware that I’d probably go to prison, so to stay at a constant ‘that’s okay.’ It’s not necessarily the way anybody would want to live.”

What were you like as a child?

“I didn’t take ‘no’ as an answer. I wasn’t a spoiled brat or handed everything I wanted, but I didn’t have to ask for much. I never really had to go without anything. My parents weren’t wealthy, but they were comfortable, and have been that way as long as I can remember. For the most part, I’d say I was a pretty happy kid.”

How did you meet your friend who died?

“We were neighbors. He was like my brother. I don’t have close ties or close relationships with anybody like I did with him. He was the first person I could ever really say was my best friend. When you’re a kid, grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents’ and grandparents’ friends die, and  you say ‘oh, that’s sad.’ But, when your fourteen-year-old best friend dies, basically out of the blue, he just wakes up one morning and then he’s dead . . . That shit really happens, people die, people who you know die, people you’re close with die, and it’s hard. It sucks pretty bad, especially when you’re that young and you don’t really know how to take it in. You know how you’re supposed to take it in, you know how people do it, and you see it in movies, but there’s something inside of you that dies too, and you can’t wake it up. Josh was my best friend and was like a brother to me. We did just about everything together.”

What would you say to him if he was here now?

“That I’m sorry. I would tell him that I’m sorry because, at this point, I would have probably alienated myself from him too. I guess given if he had left and came back. Yeah, I would tell him that I was sorry because I’m sure he wouldn’t have wanted to see me like this.”

What do you think he would say to you?

“I don’t know. He’d probably call me an idiot, but I’m not sure.”

If you could go back to your twelve- or fourteen-year-old self in that time in your life, as the adult you are now, what would you say to that child?

“Don’t do it. You’re going to fuck up. Don’t do it, but that twelve- or fourteen-year-old probably wouldn’t listen anyway. He’d probably think that I was stupid because ‘no’ is not an answer and ‘don’t’ is not a reason.”

What were you passionate about at that age?

“I really liked art and liked to draw. I haven’t actually picked up a pen or pencil and drawn anything since I was about seventeen. My senior year of high school was a pretty heavy usage year. I was focused on doing that versus something that made me happy.”

How does it feel when you’re drawing or creating something?

“It’s instant gratification, kind of like vacuuming is to me now. I did it, it’s there, that’s something I did, it’s something I completed on my own, other people get to see it, I get to see it, know that it’s done, know that I did it, and I like it. It’s a successful feeling, but I haven’t felt that in a minute.”

Did you have any other outlets that you felt a connection to?

“I listened to music a lot. Even now, I listen to music all the time. I never played any instruments and I’m not really talented in any other way, but I like music.”

Do you write at all?

“No, not at all. I don’t even remember the last time I wrote something down. My handwriting probably looks like someone trying to write with their left hand. I’m not used to a pencil or pen; it’s unfamiliar.”

What’s the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?

“I drink coffee sometimes; that or Coke, which is terrible for you. I eat, smoke a cigarette, and then smoke dope (I guess use).”

Have you ever felt hopeless and suicidal?

“Yes, at least twice a week. I feel like I’ve reached a point where there’s no way of turning around. I’m twenty-four years old and I already hold a drug possession felony. No one’s going to want to hire me, so I haven’t tried to look anymore. I have basically no friends, especially if I were to stop. My family and I aren’t really close and they don’t want to help me anyway. I feel like there’s not a good enough reason to want to keep living but, at the same time, I’m kind of too much of a pussy to kill myself.”

So, you’re just kind of slowly and passively doing it through using drugs every day and not taking care of yourself.

“Pretty much.”

Is this what you thought you’d be doing tonight?

“No. I knew I was going to be doing an interview, but didn’t think it would be such a reflective one.”

If there was someone else out there listening to this or reading this who could relate to where you are in your life and where you’ve been, and possibly feeling hopeless or numb, or even just alone, what message would you want them to hear and know?

“That they’re not alone. There are other people just as fucked up as you are. I have a really bad mouth, it’s probably just another side effect of drug use. They’re not the only ones who feel nothing or like they are that.”

Is there any part of you that sees a different future for yourself other than your situation right now?

“Yeah, but it’s all sort of hazy. If I were to try to picture it, I couldn’t put the pieces together. It’s more like an audio clip. I can hear myself ‘all right, you’re sober, you’re good, life’s okay,’ but I can’t actually see it. It’s like there’s someone with my voice telling me that, but I don’t see it with my own eyes or inside my own head. I can’t picture it and to me that just tells me it’s not a thing. If you can see it, you can achieve it, and I can’t see it.”

Is it possible that that’s faith? Do you have faith?

“I have something; I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if I’m pessimistic or I’m realistic, but I don’t think I have faith in myself; that’s what it is.”

Why?

“Why should I? Maybe I just doubt myself more than I have faith in myself.”

All the various skills you’ve developed to sustain what you’re doing today could be used in the opposite direction to sustain you in a way that you might thrive.

“I’ve managed to be able to live without any sort of resources other than the kindness of strangers for the past three years, so that’s good; that makes me something.”

That’s strength.

“I’m probably evil. I don’t think I’m a bad person for it—surviving strictly on the kindness of others. It sounds terrible when you say it like that. I’m just getting by how I can.”

What would give you hope?

“Probably better resources. If I knew there would be something to catch me whenever I fell off this horrible plane ride of whatever it is I’m going through now. If there was a safety net that would give me hope. Now knowing that I would hit rock bottom and fall to my death if I were to stop, I won’t stop because of that. If there was something to catch me, and if I knew it would be okay and there was a better support system other than the people who are constantly throwing dope in my pipe, then I probably would stop.”

It’s hard to see that in any situation. I can only speak for myself, but for me, I could never see what was going to catch me either, whether I continued to perpetuate self-destruction and didn’t want to not feel pain anymore, but didn’t know how to end it without inflicting more pain on myself, or to follow my heart and intuition and move in the other direction. My life started to change when I listened to my heart and moved in the other direction, but it was just as scary because I couldn’t see how I was going to have the resources I needed and somehow (and I’m not a believer in your traditional God or any type of religion) miraculously I had what I needed when I needed it. It didn’t ever come in the way I expected it to, and yet it was there, some sort of ground beneath my feet, and that gave me faith and restored my faith that if I had enough courage to continue to be vulnerable, enough to step out of my old behaviors, to step out of the routine, and step out of the comfort, even if it is perpetuating discomfort—somehow it’s familiar so it’s comfortable—if I had the vulnerability and courage to do that, something would catch me. I remember early on looking for people who were going to save me or thinking that all these various opportunities that presented themselves were going to be the quick fix that would save me. What I continued to learn, and to repeat over and over again through making that mistake of thinking someone else was going to save me, is that I had the power to save myself all the while. All the resources I needed were within me. I had to think them into reality: thought, action, reality. Yet somehow, we train ourselves to think it’s going to come the opposite way, that it comes from the outside in, but that wasn’t my experience. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you.

“It does.”

I can relate to that feeling of being stuck. You know you want to get off that ride, but you don’t know if there will be anything to catch you if you’re to get off. So, you stay stuck.

“I made up this fun little terminology of being plateaued. You’ve reached a level where there’s nothing much around other than the great distance between you and the ground and it’s not high enough to put you up in the clouds where you need to be. So, you’re there, drifting above the surface of rock bottom and normalcy.”

It’s like being in limbo.

“Yeah, or purgatory. I live in purgatory. Actually, it might be hell. I live in gray, very gray, not a whole lot of color there.”

Are there moments where you see or feel color in your life?

“There’s a lot of blue and, when it’s not blue, it’s red but, for the most part, it’s gray. I don’t really feel much but, whenever I do, it’s usually just sadness. I get so sad and I feel like I can’t do much about it, so again, I get angry, then I get so mad that I cry and that makes me even more sad, and then I’m mad that I’m crying, so it’s purple or gray. It’s not really a colorful journey—this life. It’s like an old-school comic book, it’s all grayscale with a little blue and a little red.”

What do you know about the process of grieving?

“I don’t. I know that it sucks. I don’t know how to get over it. You can either sweep it under the rug or you can actually deal with it, and I’ve just been sweeping it under the rug. Anything that I’ve ever lost, I’ve been ‘all right, shut that down, shut that down’ and only ever pick up where I left off, which is having it suck basically, whenever someone lifts that rug up for me ‘thanks.’ So, I guess I don’t know much about the process of grieving.”

I’m not particularly sure about the order, but there are five stages of grief. I think you’ve mentioned a few of them, like the deep sadness, the anger, and there’s a stage of blame, transferring that uncomfortable feeling onto someone else, making them responsible for your suffering. There’s also acceptance, which I think is a hard one to come to; we avoid a lot by repressing. As long as we can keep it stuffed down, we don’t have to look at it or accept that it happened. Until we do that, we’re not truly moving on, whether it’s grief or trauma. I had a woman tell me in an interview, and it’s very profound, she said when she started to heal the trauma, the addictions started to go away, and that really stuck with me. I believe that we continue to connect with whatever our substance is, whether it’s our phones, drugs, alcohol, money, or sex, to avoid looking at the wound, but the only way to heal a wound is to treat it with compassion and kindness.

“Not a big band aid?”

No. I know in our culture and in our families, we’re taught to discharge pain, to move away from it, and stuff it down.

“The sun gives you a sunburn, stay away from it kind of thing.”

Yes, but growth, transformation, awareness, wisdom, empathy, joy, and love are all qualities that are developed through leaning into pain and discomfort, not from running away from it. Everything that we long for—that sense of real meaningful connection, fulfillment, sustenance in our life, and purpose—is on the other side of that pain, and there’s no way to skip over it or go around it.

“You got to go through it and deal with it.”

Yeah. It’s shitty. I don’t know what’s worse, spending your lifetime running away from it or feeling shitty for a period of time, then having some relief, and maybe recognizing that you’re resilient, you do have potential, and there is more to life than this grayscale and constant fear of when is the bottom going to drop out.

“I feel like I’ve hit rock bottom a couple of times, like literally scraping my teeth on its surface is where I’ll probably want to stop but, at the same time, I’ve probably hit that part too. It seems like chilling at the mantle.”

Do you have a favorite song lyric, mantra, or something that someone has said to you, maybe even your friend or your parents, that has stuck with you that you’d like to share?

“There are lyrics to a song that says ‘if you talk me out of my needs and stitch me up at the seams then I can live in my dreams’.”

What’s that mean to you?

“It’s kind of sad, if you think about it. If I didn’t have to do the things I have to do, then I’d be happy. If I didn’t have to wake up and get high, I’d probably be okay or if I didn’t require x amount of blah, blah, blah then I’d be cool, things would be okay, and life would be a dream. But, that’s not how it is and I’m living a nightmare. Yeah, talk me out of my needs and stitch me up at the seams, I can live in my dreams.”

Do you think it’s possible to heal?

“Yeah. You just got to rip off that band aid I was telling you about. I don’t know. I feel like, metaphorically, my band aid is waterproof and I don’t want to pull it off because it really hurts, and I don’t want to deal with it, so I slowly pick at it, but eventually I just stick it back on. Yeah, it’s possible to heal; tons of people do it, right?”

Yes. It’s a matter of surrendering. It’s like showing up and saying ‘I don’t know how this is going to turn out.’

“But doing it anyway.”

Yeah. That’s courage, right?

“Yeah. I don’t think I have much of that. Like I said earlier, the fear of the unknown, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do it, so I don’t try it.”

What’s worse? It seems like you have more to lose by continuing and knowing that the rest of your life may look like it does right now or there’s a risk that you may feel some discomfort for a while, but there’s a chance that things could get better.

“I don’t know. I should probably stop using, because it’s not helping me. I wouldn’t necessarily say that it’s hurting me either, but that’s probably the drugs talking.”

Who would be the first person you would call, if you were to make that choice?

“I’d probably call my mom. Yeah, that’s probably who I’d call. I’d probably tell her to come get me. I’ve done it before. I’ve told her ‘I need you to come get me. I need you to fuckin’ stop what you’re doing and come get me’ and she has; she would do it in a heartbeat. The last time I called her and said that was about three years ago. I’m not too sure how or if she would be okay with it or how she would go about it, but I’d call her. I need to call her actually.

“Not only for that, but I miss my family a little bit, a lot. I haven’t seen them. I spent that one Christmas in jail, but the two after that—I didn’t go, the one before that—I didn’t go. I haven’t been home in so long. I haven’t actually seen my mom in a year—that sucks. For a long time, she was my best friend. She was always a shoulder and an ear. It’s been a while, a long time.”

I hope you do make that phone call.

“We Snapchat sometimes, which is kind of weird. We’re actually Snapchat friends, but I haven’t snapchatted her in about six months. I sent her a text about two weeks ago, and that’s about it. I haven’t heard her voice in a long time. I can still remember what she sounds like, which is kind of surprising. Usually whenever I cut things off like that, I completely disconnect from it. I don’t know what they look like. I don’t know what they feel like. I remember her and her voice; it’s weird.”

Do you think she would answer the phone now if you called?

“She’s probably asleep right now, but yeah she might answer. If not, she would text me ‘what?’, but I think she would answer.”

I hope you make that call after this interview. How has it felt to talk about these thoughts, feelings, and experiences with me tonight?

“Surprisingly, not bad. Like I said, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. At the beginning, I thought it was probably going to be annoying, but I didn’t find it that annoying because there was a level of comfort versus judgment. I didn’t feel very judged at all.”

It’s a beautiful thing, you being vulnerable.

“Is that what this is?”

Yeah, and you being met with empathy. It kind of kills shame, which I think feeds addiction.

“Probably, yeah, needing to hide something.”

It’s a heavy weight.

“It will suffocate you. That’s always good.”

It’s lethal; it really is.  Do you think it’s possible by sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences so courageously tonight, as you are, that someone on the receiving end gains some hope, inspiration, or at least a sense that they’re not alone?

“I would hope so, because this wasn’t that easy to do. Yeah, I think they probably could if they aren’t stubborn assholes like me, and listen all the way through. Because if I were handed this to listen to, read, or watch, I’d probably stop paying attention halfway through; depending on my state of mind I might say ‘I don’t want to hear that.’ If I actually listened to it or if someone like me listened to it from A to B, they’d probably like it; they’d probably get it.”

Yeah.  Thank you.

“Thank you. You’re welcome.”

I’m really proud of you. This was a really courageous thing to do and you skipped right into it.

“I ripped the band aid off that time.”

You did. I hope you’ll continue to do that.

“There’s a bunch of open blisters and sores here—this sounds so weird.”

Thanks.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Finland to Eurovision with a meme icon and his side-kick

“heeeeeey what is that song on that video???” Definitely not Darude - Sandstorm. Grow the fuck up.

I mean that they basically threw off the open call for songs from Finnish artists, instead opting for having one artist national final, usually one very known but very gettable-bored-of name so that they could get some more viewership rather when they pick a random nobody from a bunch of other random nobodies. Last year YLE got themselves an artist whose Eurovision ticket was long overdue, but this year they went the extra step and brought us HIM.

No, not that HIM. They can't go anyway as they've already disbanded. I'm talking about HIM.

Yes, THAT HIM. Meet Toni-Ville Henrik Virtanen, which thankfully has a pseudonym to publish his music with - Darude. Almost 20 years ago he published this beautiful techno single "Sandstorm" with lyrics like "du du du du du du du du du du du du". And now it's become the big-ass target of memery for the past few years on the Internet, with Darude being very well aware of it all - I don't think he has escaped questions about "Sandstorm" now that the Eurovision interviewers media is on horizon and interviews literally every single representative, no matter if they're shy or unpopular with the bookies at all.

And even if "Sandstorm" was the only thing to shake his tiny little Finnish world, it did not break Darude to be just a one-hit wonder (well he still looks like one but yeah) and he's got more music out ever since. And it probably sounds a little too tragic when YLE resorts to just nagging and begging Darude to represent their nation, even kinda secretly hoping that thanks to him Finland can have a qualification just solely for the meme factor. Darude even said so that he at first rejected their calls, but this year became THE year for him to go, and he's not alone obviously - his credited vocalist friend for this ride to Tel Aviv became Sebastian Rejman, a bit washed-up media star who already did some collaborating with Darude.

So the format was basically the same for this year's UMK - artist announced separately, then each of their 3 songs gets published every week on a specific weekday, with single cover art and a music video already, and the Finnish people together with international juries vote for the best track. Simple as that. Unlike with Saara Aalto though, all Darude & Sebastian songs were barely even distinct from one another in sound - just techno songs that have a piece of "Sandstorm" with themselves. Well only 2 do anyway. But still, techno/house songs to listen to on the radio when you're driving and minding your own business. And I had hard time picking favourites but all of them were alright I guess. Yet somehow my least favourite happened to win... and that was "Look Away", very much so inspired by natural disasters and how do we all ignore everything around us. No matter if it's a storm or hurricane or tornado or wind throwing sand at our eyes.

I don't know why the song didn't click with me all that much at first, I suppose it was because it's just a mindless gloomy techno song that raises global awareness (we already have Denmark talking about that, but they're insisting that "love is forever", while Finland is just... getting up more seriously in all this), and besides that, it's just incredibly repetitive. It consists more of the pre-chorus-ish chorus (I mean the line "is it in my head? Am I the only one?" and that other line preceding) and the actual chorus that mostly goes like "look away, look away, look away...". Even to the point when the song ends with some additional “look away”ing but under a different drum beat. What's it with Finns having a passion for the word "away"? We already had seen them sending a "Sing It Away", which was basically a cheer-up tune telling you to sing your problems off... while this year? We're trying to NOT look into the problems dead in the eye. We're looking... erm, uh, away.

But now I do have to say that I somewhat like it. Tell it to ya - the B minor chord is possibly one of my least favourite music keys, so I might as well be a little bit more negative on it if takes the song with itself to sound incredibly dull and painfully meh. So thankfully we'll be hearing it live half a step lower (idk if that's what it is with most EDM singers in Eurovision that shit like this can be possible, as well as idk why are they allowed into Eurovision in the first place. But seriously, why can't you just choose the same key you sang in in studio for Eurovision...), which made the song sound better to me - as a Nightcore junkie, I am passionate about hearing songs in different keys all the darn time, to see in what key would a certain song sound the best. It's usually the song's key that makes me like a song better or worse live rather than a live performance itself (though in some NFs I can see which of my favourite acts are DoA by not even emoting towards them - my emotion has to be evoked, and if I evoke it on purpose, well then, I'd just rather stay motionless completely on anything and only yelp if a song causes me to do this unexplainedly). We'll see how Sebastian will execute his singing live. As for now, he's the captain of this sinking ship that hit a small iceberg (another one of the disasters we usually "look away" from until it's found in our history books). Not Darude. Darude's just merely a musical hold-up of the disaster. It all has to depend on the vocalist and if the staging clicks with the audience. Sure, Darude can put on a red wig and green sunglasses so that he could click with the meme audience, but that won't get the Finns far.

So I like this song, it actually has some cool musical moments thrown in (I like the piano for one), I can enjoy this off my free time. But Estonia does it better at the "Finno-Ugric EDM-ish entry about Mother Nature's tantrums" category and I ain't even sorry for saying this. But I gotta be sorry for Darude. This year's UMK had the lesser care about it because... well, these songs weren't exactly inspiring or anything, and with people wanting something groundbreaking, their hopes kept on vaning away with each and every song release of the UMK entries': "oh so the next 2 two songs will be good right?" "oh so then the last one will be the best one, yeah right?" "...oh, okay then .-." And him, as the Finnish meme king, should have deserved a better year for a better Eurovision stint, so he could have become something à la Epic Sax Guy. Right now I mostly see a middle-aged DJ with 2 kids, not a redhead dude with green sunglasses looking shadily on us. And that's okay sometimes because memes don't necessarily need to be remembered for memes (just like I mostly remember Kanye West for music, and then memes come second), but Finland's gonna take a miracle to get through, and I hardly see any. That's an aina mun pity.

Approval factor: Eh, it's alright, but I would certainly not hold it up to high regards post-contest? lol.

Follow-up factor: it's kiiiiinda bleak knowing that after giving us probably one of the most favourable dark horse efforts for Eurovision they're now going down the dancier route, with one entry after being a banger, the other being a dad banger. Ah well. It doesn't flow so neatly in my eyes, it seems.

Qualification factor: almost dead in the tracks. Finland flows anywhere they can, having a lot of bad luck for 3 years this decade, and I doubt that the juries will be supporting this heavily, considering they are better at rating good vocalists over bad ones, so I don't think this will sail through. But I secretly have hopes in this. It's not that bad, but Estonia is in this semi too, and it's a friendlier EDM track, so I don't quite think that repetitive will out-compell the good formulaic. Plus, Sebastian has a lot to fix vocally, and I doubt that he will carry Finland any further if he doesn't fix anything, so so far the chances of Finland aren't looking up imo. Bottom 5 at the semi is more likely if not already the actual outcome. Maaaaybe 10th in the semi at best, but I doubt it.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

The more this section pops up in my works, the less I wanna recap national finals anymore. I hope there’s more breather moments with me having to review a lot of internal selection songs in between the ones from NFs, because this whole season was an utter disaster, and it’d help if the next one isn’t. So let’s check in on Finland's selection’s best:

• But seriously, did anyone ever see Darude as a Finnish representative coming??? No??? Me neither. I was just sitting there, waiting to see if there's a hope for Mikael Saari (you know, that balladeer guy from previous UMKs - I do believe some audiences love him just as much as Saara Aalto, who only was on one UMK and one Euroviisut) to be announced on this special separate programme. Nope - the trilingual hosting trio of the programme that included Krista Siegfrids in it as the token Swedish speaker just happened to happily proclaim Darude as THE Finnish hopeful... and the world was s h o o k e t h. Just look at him go. His smug grin is still iconic on here.

• During the wait for all the UMK songs to pile up, the excitement for Darude faded away and everyone moved on to support other countries. I can't blame them, because I have found like one decent song this UMK that's still worth listening to twice a year or so - "Superman". Where Darude becomes the everyday hero for ordinary people that have difficulties in live to do mundane stuff. Maybe this song would have made him look like a better meme than his current entry would have? Just watch him go on his DJ booth dressing like a knock-off superhero because EBU doesn't allow blatant advertising. A way better gimmick than Gromee's snakey hands. Alas, no one will have to hear "Superman" anymore. Granted it's just an EDM song just like any other, but somehow I liked it best, end of.

• There's at least one memorable screenshot from UMK as well, so I'm happy with that. I saw this pop up on my Twitter time line and I could not stop laughing inside. Seriously. Krista and this other guy should host ESC provided Eurovision is ever coming back to Finland. They had a lot of iconic outfit changes during the NF itself (and the NF itself had "Look Away" with some dancer on a cube but they scrapped the tall cube for Tel Aviv entirely), but those floral onesies are my favourite.

Now I kinda hope that there’s something that will alarm YLE in the meantime that Finland needs a better approach for Eurovision and we’ll see another fully-fledged UMK in the works next year, and then Finland can be great again. For now, I’ll just wish “onnea” to Darude and Sebastian, with hopes that people don’t look away from their song at all! (but most likely they will so what’s the point.)

[chiyamabunny]

【MAMORU MIYANO LIVE TOUR 2016 ～MIXING!～】Yokohama Arena -December 17&18, 2016- Live Report

I’m finally writing this up! Sorry for such a long wait! (It’s also...super long, because I wrote about pretty much everything...^^; This report is mainly for my own remembering purposes, so sorry if things don’t make sense at times! AND I FINISHED IT IN TIME FOR MAMO’S BIRTHDAY! Mamo-chan, happy birthday~ ^^ Thank you so much for being you~)

I will talk about both days in my report! I’ll specify the day when it becomes relevant~ But I think I’d like to talk mainly about the 17th because that’s the day I went together with @aishiteruitsumo6 ^^ To talk a little bit about the morning of the 17th, after not getting any sleep the night before, (talking about Shoutan and Mamo in a convenience store for literally like, 3 hours in the middle of the night xD), the two of us met up super early that morning to go line up for goods! Kelly-chan was in charge of all the navigation…I’d never had made it to Yokohama arena without her!! (Thank you, Kelly-chan!!) We got to the Arena pretty early…there weren’t thhhhaaaat many people before us, but there were certainly many many more people that came after us! (When we went to go line up…there was a lady that dropped her glove in front of us and no one seemed to be picking it up…after asking Kelly-chan, I went back to grab it and find the person who dropped it to give it back to her. She was really thankful as she had been looking around her bag for it! I’m happy I went back for it!) While in line, I wrote my letter to Mamo-chan because I had procrastinated so much on it. xD Kelly-chan and I spoke mainly using English and I was freaking out over grammar in a specific section and another lady who was in line in front of us asked me if I needed help in English!! She spoke with very, very little accent! None at all almost and she helped me with the line! xD Kelly-chan also helped me a lot! (Thank you again!!) We entered the room with the goods soon and it was weird this time…because they didn’t give us sheets to check what we wanted at all…we went up to the people and told them what we wanted!! Which was a little terrifying because I wasn’t sure what I wanted!!! xD I tend to make lots of impulse buys, so having the sheet of paper had always been very helpful to budget money…xD Instead I was freaking out while standing in line, writing down on my iphone what I wanted and using the calculator on my iphone to calculate money. Mamo music played on a speaker system and it honestly sounded really odd…I think that the bass was turned up too high and there was very little treble in the sound. It made my head hurt a little but I was way too anxious over what I was going to buy. xD “Golden Night” came on though and I started dancing along during the chorus. I was super happy to see other people dancing along too~ Kelly-chan pointed it out to me that there were other people that started dancing too, uffufufu~ Another song that played over the speaker was “Not Alone”! Kelly-chan liked that one! ^^

After buying things and taking lots of pictures, and freaking out about some stuff…xD; The two of us went to go eat lunch…AND THE FOOD WASN’T THAT GREAT LOL, WE MADE A MISTAKE. We chose to eat this soba-ish soup? Because Kelly-chan wasn’t feeling well and it wouldn’t be best to eat anything that had too much flavoring and stuff…well, the soup tasted kinda awful ^^; I ordered a very sugary soup though that made up for it! I felt kinda guilty eating it because of how sugary it was, omg. xD

There was still at least 5 more hours until the doors to the Live opened and so the two of us sat outside for a little bit while I continued writing Mamo-chan’s letter and the two of us listened to Shoutan’s “Endless Song” CRIES, IT’S SO GOOD, (which I arranged for a flute quartet for my senior flute recital, uffufufu) anyways~ We stayed outside on the bench until it got a bit too cold and went and sat inside a McDonalds for the next several hours! That’s where I finished writing my letter to Mamo-chan…and the two of us also took semi-naps while in McDonalds. ^^; Mamo fans were everywhere btw!! I would look around and I’d see people with koitsu on their bag and carrying all kinds of merch…I always forget until I’m there that I always feel like I belong when I’m there…You walk around, and you see people who have koitsu on their bag, and wearing mamo merch…that’s not something that you see everyday in America. I always freak out when I see other people…but I have to contain myself so hard because they all think it’s normal…!!!

Anyways! Kelly-chan and I made our way to the venue soon and took lots of pictures and things!! ^^ They were playing the preview music videos of “The Birth” and “Tempest” on the display board on Yokohama Arena and I was flipping out because “The Birth” is a little….^^;;;; But anyways, we soon made our way inside and Kelly-chan helped me with giving my letter to a staff ^^; (Thank you again, Kelly-chan!!!) I took a bunch of more pictures of the flowers that people sent that were on display outside the seating~ There were so many pretty flowers! ^^

Kelly-chan and I made our way to the center stage!!!  First day pic:

(We were so blessed!!! The second day I was in the Stand...so far awayyy…but I’m still very thankful I was able to go ^^)  Second day pic: 

Anyways! A really tall dude was next to Kelly-chan and an elderly-ish man sat to my left. So many Mamo fans! ^^ We were freaking out because we were pretty close to the stage! ^^ I was so nervous…I was about to see Mamo-chan again after 4 months… ‘I’m going to see him soon, I’m going to see him soon’ I thought, freaking out, lol…

The lights dimmed, and I don’t remember if I screamed or not. Even if I didn’t out loud I was definitely screaming on the inside. No matter how many of Mamo-chan’s performances I go to, the excitement when the realization hits that I’m actually going to see Mamo-chan throws me off my mental balance every time ^^;

The screen in front of us went dark and the opening movie was starting!! It was a mixture of different movies…there was one of someone in a car (that was Mamo), then a person a podium in a suit (that was Mamo), a person floating in a room (thaat was Mamo too) but it wasn’t showing his face directly. Now pan to Mamo in lounging clothes in what kinda looks like a living room switching channels on a t.v. Everyone was screaming, lol. He yawned as he changed the channels and I heard giggles all around me~ He kept changing until it got to a boxing channel! His face lit up as he sat on the edge of his seat getting all excited. A guy in the boxing show was wearing a black loose jacket, a hood over his face (this was Mamo, lol) and right before he lifted his hood, the t.v. got all fuzzy. Mamo sighed and stood up to try and fix the t.v. but when he “fixed” it, it started flipping through each channel, showing that he, himself was the main character of each show. In the car, the camera panned to show Mamo holding a gun, rain pouring outside, in the room, the man floating was Mamo, on the podium in dorky glasses, was Mamo. And finally, the man in the boxing ring going against the large man (Stewart-san!), was Mamo. But suddenly, the television was showing him in his living room…and he was freaking out. There were heavy footsteps, Stewart-san was coming down the hallway into the room the real Mamo-chan was in. All of a sudden, there was a cage around Mamo’s living room and he couldn’t escape. Stewart-san was coming, ready to attack!! And so, at first Mamo absolutely sucked xD; He was freaking out and really acting his part, but then after he was pushed back into a corner, he became more decided and did a bunch of cool stunts and things! There was one point when he leapt up and used the fence as a foothold to attack. Before the match finished out, the scene changed and flashed to Mamo from each different scene with the words as he spoke them. “This.” “Is.” “Your.” “Day.” It was repeated and suddenly, the screens were showing us!!! Showing us the audience!!! “This is Your Day”

We were then given a mission! Mission one was to clap! And the second mission was to sing! The “wooahhh~ wooah~” that’s in SHOUT! And as the audience did that, the opening movie came back, Mamo-chan was still fighting Stewart-san!! And we kept clapping and singing and then…!!! Lights!! MAMO-CHAN WAS THERE! In the middle of movable fence pieces that resembled the fence in the opening video and from his SHOUT MV. He was standing there in the center with his hood up and the dancers were moving the fence pieces around! Mamo-chan started singing…and his voice was just as clear as day. But I strained to see his face as he still had a hood over his face…When he finally flung his hood behind, my scream was accompanied by several others. There he was, there he was~ I bounced up and down singing along. I was so excited singing the bits that the audience sings: “Woaaahhhh woaahhh ooohhhhh~” and “HEY!” To be part of the audience like the SHOUT MV had…I was freaking out X3

Burning Point was next!! And I turned to Kelly-chan and tried to tell her that it was one of Mamo-chan’s older songs! I don’t think I was loud enough though, lolol. One that came out like, 4 years ago or so? I was so excited to be hearing it Live! I was singing and bouncing along surprised to hear such an oldie song~

AAAHHHHHH OKAAAYYYY, SO SUGAR SUGAR WAS NEXT AND LOL. HE WENT AND WAS LIKE. OH BOY. IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. I WAS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME. xDD On stage, a table was brought out with a vase of roses on top. “wahh! What pretty flowers!” Mamo exclaimed while he walked over to them and plucked one out…“who should I give them to~?” he asked while walking to the center of the arena and everyone’s penlights in the arena started waving~ On the first day, I didn’t move my penlight at all…I guess I was too…starstruck to move? ^^; Kelly-chan took my hand and started moving my penlight for me. xD While he was talking down, he brought the rose to his lips and kissed it….AND EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING. At the part in the beginning where he sins “Just for me~” he threw the rose out to the audience!!!! I wonder who the lucky girls were to get a rose from Mamo~? X3 “Sono yubisaki ga boku ni fureru, kimi no doresu my fav color,” during the first half of this bridge section of the song…he started to remove his jacket from one side of his shoulder…which translates to “those fingers of yours that touch me” (that @tsukinokakera reminded me of ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;)… AND THEN WHEN HE SANG THE “YOUR DRESS IS MY FAV COLOR” HE SHOWED HIS SHOULDER REALLY UM WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT…IN A VERY UM SUGGESTIVE MANNER?!!!?!?!!!! TO THE AUDIENCE? ARE SHOULDERS SUPPOSED TO BE SO ATTRACTIVE???? SCREAMS. CRIES. RUNS AWAY. … …… CONTINUES TO RUN AWAY. Overall though, this song was so so so cute~ :3c ...withslightlyquestionablepartsum.

Ahh, gee, Tempest. The visuals at Yokohama were so amazing. While he sang this song, the background images was literally a storm and there was a wind blowing at the stage, his clothes fluttered and it was so moving!!

BLACK…OR WHITE…OH BOY. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY ABOUT THIS? IT WAS. IT WAS TOO MUCH. I was watching through my hands covering my face. I just couldn’t. Nope. I noped out guys, it was so biwfjlndaksm that I’ve blocked most of it from my memory. Mainly my fault for not writing this report 5 months ago xD But iuwbfeajknlsljkbfsdnl. ^^;;;

KissxKiss is how it always is and so cute~ I love that Mamo always includes this song because of how much engagement there is with Mamo and the audience. The whole arena was pink~ I really need to get a better penlight that doesn’t just have red, white and blue. Seeing everyone with pink in their penlights and doing the same “kimi ni kiss!” move that Mamo does is so much fun~

For the ballad corner! Mamo-chan started How Close You Are! I was so surprised to hear this! ^^ Since he had sung it at Generating!, I didn’t expect to hear this beautiful song during Mixing as well! The guitar intro…the background…the starry night, it was absolutely wondrous. I was so spellbound by this song. 

RINNE…ah…RINNE…this is my second favorite Mamo song. This is the song I was looking forward to listening and watching the most. T_T It was beautiful, beyond all my expectations. Mamo-chan’s voice is really so beyond me. His ballad songs are so beautifully divine…heehee, before he sang this song on the second day, he spoke with us a little bit. :3 “This song, do you all believe in this song?” “YES!!!” everyone responded! “There’s a chance, that we all knew each other in a different lifetime…,” I was freaking out because…omg…that’s what I always think about when I hear this song…and to hear it come from his mouth, I don’t think I was breathing. I felt like the whole audience was bubbling with a sort of anticipation. X3 “You were probably all reading stone tablets to get the latest Mamo news” xDDDD (t/n: I’m not sure if what he said was stone tablets, but it was some equivalent to it xD) It’s cute to think that perhaps, all us Mamo fans were following him in another lifetime too~? Or best friends or something~? :3 I like to think so! ^^

SANBIKA! I sang along the entire time~ This is, I think, the first Mamo song that I learned all the lyrics to! And the only song my brother sings along with me when it comes on my shuffle in my car, lol. Another Mamo oldie song~ I feel like this song really brings out the…pureness of Mamo’s voice. His voice just springs forth so effortlessly…so pure and beautiful. Guys, I’m so love, help me. On the second day, the song here was Beautiful Life~ I’d never heard Mamo sing this live…~ But I’d seen an audience sing Beautiful Life for Mamo during the Request Live he had a few years back~ ^^ It’s such a beautiful song as well~ ^^ I was so surprised though!! I was expecting Sanbika but it was Beautiful Life instead. I love all of Mamo-chan’s Ballad songs though~ :3

GOURBEFJWLANKDS. Okay so, xD For this next song, Mamo said that this was a new version of an old song. “It’s a song I want everyone to sing together, is that okay?” “HAAAAAI!” Everyone exclaimed! “Wow, you guys are amazing, Even though you don’t know what the song is, you all say that you’ll sing it” xDD And then he said~ “You all know how to sing all of Mamo’s songs, right?” AND I. LOL. GUESS WHAT I YELLED. REALLY LOUD. “HAI!!!” I DO! I KNOW HOW TO SING ALL OF MAMO’S SONGS!....AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SHOUTED THAT. NO ONE ELSE DID. And the person who was sitting to my left (NOT KELLY-CHAN BUT SHE LAUGHED TOO) LAUGHED AT ME AND I WAS SO EMBARASSED. ANNNyywaayYYYYYSSS!!!. xD It was J☆S! It was a ballad version this time! And the lyrics were up on the screen for us to sing to when he wanted us to sing along~ I like the original song, but the ballad song is nice too~ On the second day, when Mamo-chan was telling us he wanted us to sing with him this surprise song, everyone’s penlights were turning to yellow already and he noticed xD “Some people know already and are giving it away. But there are really some people who are freaking out about what song it is!!” xD (I don’t have yellow on my penlight…I really need to get a universal one!!)

I’ve forgotten...most of the talk during the Ballad Corner, ^^; only bits and pieces. But a couple things that I solidly remember and want to write here...The first day, I believe, the bass player, Damae said that for “taking Mamo-chan on a date” scenario, that he would take Mamo skiing!!! Something that he wants to do the most, cuz he’s never skied before! Annnd...on the second day I believe. Something memorable for all the members during the trip. Kihara-san talked about food xD He was the only one to talk about food and everyone else’s was super sentimental, like Sano-san, he said, I believe, that no matter where they went, the way Mamo communicates with his fans, and the way we all love each other, the admiration and warm atmosphere, no matter where Team Mamo goes, the warm feeling is the same. c:

UGWOBJKSDNLAKMS.AKJBDALNKRBAFJLSKNDDMZN. WHAT DO I EVEN SAY NOW. THE MOVIE. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. OH WHAT DO I EVEN SAY. KELLY-CHAN WAS LAUGHING EVEN HARDER THAN I WAS. It was just AWFUL X’DDDDD It was kind of based off of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them! How LOLOLOL, the dubbing was off from the mouth movements xDDDDD And it was ALL MAMO. xDDDD What do I even say? xD omg…basically…there was one Mamo…and then another Mamo…xDD Papa Mamo, MAMONSA, grandma Mamo, Policeman Mamo…xDDD It was too much, I’ll just. XD I’ll just leave this out of my report xDDD

Upside Down!!!!!!!! :3c On the first day of yokohama, Mamo would be like “upside doooooooooowwwww*NNGH*” during the recap of the dance lecture. xD On the second day, since it was mainly the same people as on the first, we all knew that he was going to keep going with “dowwwwwwwwwww” so we all held with him all the way to the “NNGH” which made him laugh xD he then said to us “because I’m up here singing and I can’t actually hold to the *NNGH* because of how the song is, everyone make sure to do it for me ‘kay?” AND SO WE ALL DID AFTER THE FIRST CHORUS AND HE MUST HAVE HEARD ALL OF US BECAUSE HE GIGGLED FOR A BIT WHILE SINGING AND ME AND THE GIRLS AROUND ME ALL STARTED LAUGHING TOO, LOLOLOL, IT WAS SO CUTE I’M CRYING X'DDD

Moon walking!!!!!!!!! MAMO-CHAN MOON WALK. MAMOWALK. MAMOMOONWALKING. MY MIND WAS ABSOLUTELY BLOWN. I was screaming during the ENTIRE REMIX. It was just???!!!! SO WELL DONE???!!!! JUST, THE FLAWLESS JUST, THE SONGS, JUST OMG. HOW IN THE WORLD? I was yelling to Kelly-chan, trying to tell her about all these old songs that were being all Mixed up!! (see what I did there~? X3;;;) BUT I JUST KEPT CUTTING MYSELF OFF BECAUSE SCREAMING XDDD DISCOTIQUE09 AND EGOISTIC AND B O D Y R O C K which then connected into moonlight~ Which was beautiful, so beautiful and all SO SEAMLESS. UGH. STY-SAN IS FRIGGIN ON ANOTHER LEVEL. and then…break it and finally New Order…ahh, there was a giant mash up of songs in a remix it was amazing AND GEE. THE OUTFIT CHANGE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THIS ABSOLUTE BRILLANCE? O. M. G. The amount of screaming here is definitely what got me sick. LOL.

AND THEN IT ALL TIED INTO IDENTITY. SEAMLESS. WAS MAMO-CHAN TIRED? HE DEFINITELY WAS. omg. He was standing there, the music started, the hands. My first thought was. omigosh. Nana-chan, I need to tell Nana-chan. @jennshaiel The rose petals… The music… Mamo’s voice, the dance. I never thought I’d be able to see Identity Live…it was breathtaking. It was always amazing seeing it through my computer screen. But…seeing the real thing…breathtaking. Absolutely took my breath away.

Crazy Wonder Night! I didn’t expect to be so hyped for this song. xD I was expecting Don’t Stop! to be the call and response song, but instead it was Crazy Wonder Night!!! Which was uh, SUPER QUESTIONABLE THE FIRST DAY. TO THE POINT WHERE MAMO WAS LIKE: “Wow, you guys really do whatever I tell you to, huh.” OOOOTTTTTLLLLLLL. I was yelling “BAKA” at Mamo after that….SUPER QUESTIONABLE EXPERIENCE. I WAS. SO UNCOMFORTABLE. LOL. UH. ANYWAYS, the second day was a lot…um, more, uh, PG FRIENDLY. SCREAMS. We had a call and response kind of thing with Yoko Ari’s mascot~ :3c It was super cute ^^

SHINE!!!!!! Mamo hoped on one of those things that go around the arena! When he got to us…omg…he was so close. I froze up again xDD Kelly-chan was freaking out for me I felt xD “He’s so close!” I could hear her say, but I couldn’t wave my penlight at all, I just stared at him. xD;;; Someonehelpme. This is such a happy uplifting song, it never fails to cheer me up~

***~ Here, during this break, Mamo talked a little bit…he was talking about how everyone has troubles and worries, that each and everyone of us are struggling through something. And during those times, in our everyday lives, he hopes that we’ll listen to his songs, and know that he’s right there with us. That his songs will bring us strength, that we’re not alone. He said, “everyone is having a great time right? Everyone is smiling! But I know, that underneath that smile, you are hurting, you’re in pain and have things you don’t know if you can overcome…in that time there are those who listen to my songs, and listening to them, I hope you feel like I’m by your side through my song, that you’re not by yourself” which then connects with The Birth. ~***

THE FRIGGIN BIRTH OMG. IT WAS SO COOL GUYS. THE BACKGROUND IMAGES. omg. I could really feel Ajin’s atmosphere. IBM was floating up and ugh, it was such a wonderful performance. The Birth, is such in amazing song. Really a song that only Mamo-chan can sing. STY-san and Mamo collab work is really beyond me.

Encore…MAMO! MAMO! MAMO! ^^; Every time, I’m with those few fangirls that start shouting his name the moment he leaves the stage. When else would I be able to shout Mamo’s name at the top of my lungs? When else am I able to be surrounded by so many Mamo fans? MAMO MAMO MAMO!! I always lose my voice. xDD

When Mamo came back to the stage, DON’T STOP! I was surprised to hear this song!! Since it wasn’t the call and response song, I was really surprised since I had been expecting Break it! because it’s a song that has so much meaning. DON’T STOP! is such a great song too~ Lol, most all of Mamo’s songs are great so ^^; and I am most likely biased. xD

OH MAN. GRAVITY. :DD I really really like this song! And the background imagery was so cute~ There was a pink and blue comet that were going around chasing each other through the sky…I think that…from what he said before this song, they connected so well with each other…because we’re all together, connected by gravity on this world. He’s here for us, but not only that, we as fans are all there for Mamo. This is such a sweet song, and I’m so thankful this is the song he ended with. This!!!! IS WHERE!!!! The streamer thingys came out!! AND!!!! KELLY-CHAN CAUGHT ONE!!! AND GAVE IT TO ME!!!!! We were both screaming and freaking out~ X3 And then ANOTHER ONE CAME TOWARDS US!!! So Kelly-chan was able to get one as well~ :3

On the second day of Yokohama! DOUBLE ENCORE. My throat was sore and I got sick probably because of screaming so much during the Live xD; MAMO! MAMO! MAMO!

He came back! This time everyone in Christmas headgear! Mamo was wearing a Reindeer Santa Hat~ So cuute~ He was showing it off and everyone was saying “Kawaaaiiiii~” :3c And slowly, since they came out all Christmas themed, everyone’s penlights were slowly changing to red and green! When I noticed the red and green around me, I changed my penlight from blue to red~ And suddenly, after a little bit of talking, Mamo realized!!!! He was like. “WOW. GUYS. WHEN DID YOU ALL CHANGE TO CHRISTMAS COLORS? HOW? THIS COULDN’T HAVE BEEN CORRIDINATED RIGHT?” He was really moved ^^ Everyone somehow, silently communicated to each other with colors, all of us combined as Mamo’s audience, we changed our lights to Christmas colors…how amazing…really, how moving and amazing ^^ Anyways, during this short talk section, he talked about things coming up, the new album!! That’s coming out soon, The Love! And…he also talked about how there was the second part of Crest of the Royal Family coming out, that has ended now! Something he said, omg. xD He started talking using his Izmir voice, a voice I hadn’t heard in a while and nearly fell over. ^^;;;; He said something along the lines of “I’ll be using that whip again” as he imitates using a whip…(There was a section…in Royal Fam where he uh, whips Carol..andumanyways) We all screamed. LOL “YABAI” I screamed lol. “do you wanna be punished?” he asked next “YES!!!!” WAS EVERYONE’S RESPONSE (INCLUDINGMINE) and he laughed at us xD “are you guys serious? X’D" he asked xD

Finally, he ended with Golden Night~ :3c A wonderful song, I think, to end the second and final night~ ^^ He went on the thingy that goes around the arena again~ :3

On the first day, Kelly-chan and I left and I was so out of it. xDD;;; Have pulled an all-nighter together, I was falling asleep on my feet xD I’m so thankful Kelly-chan was there with me. I wouldn’t have made it home without her, cuz I fell asleep on one of the train switches back ^^;;;;; She waited with me on a bench until I was feeling ready to walk again, and I so supper appreciate it~ On the second day, I’d gone by myself…AND LOST MY TOKIYA PARKA PASS TO RIDE THE FRIGGIN TRAIN. AND I RAN AROUND TRYING TO FIND IT. And Kelly-chan checked twitter and helped me find it!!! I’m so so so thankful to Kelly-chan for being there for me~ ^^ Thank you so much, Kelly-chan~ And when I’d made it back to Tokyo, we went to Shinjuku together to find out what color our smile is~ X3c

Thank you for coming with me~ And being my friend Kelly-chan~ I’m looking forward to seeing you again soon!! ^^

Sorry this is so long!!! OTL To those that have read this far, thank you very much for reading!! m(_ _)m

[meanwhileinoz]

20+ Easy Ways To Clean Your House That Takes Little To No Effort

Cleaning your house always seems like a neverending task. No matter what, you feel as though it’s going to take up more time than you bargained for. Plus, it seems as though whenever you clean, it just gets dirty in .5 seconds anyway. So, all in all, what’s the point? Instead of getting on your hands and knees to scrub for hours on end, there are some brilliant hacks online that make cleaning your house easier than ever.

1. Sweeper slippers, so you can sweep your home whenever you walk to the freezer to get yourself more ice cream.

BuzzFeed

BuzzFeed

If you have hardwood or tile floors, you have gotta have at least five pairs of these houseshoes. I just toss them into the wash without tearing off the sole to wash separately. Reason: the soles on mine by far outlast the tops of the shoes. They help control dust and animal hair. I like them. // Edited after thought: Pairs of these shoes were handed to out-of-state traveler friends (a fella and his two grown daughters). They sounded so thankful to have these microfiber houseshoes to wear, and they expressed at how cushy they felt.

–Penny

Get them on Amazon for $10.40.

2. If you have pets that shed (or if you shed) you need this easy-to-pick-up-hair broom for your carpets. It traps all the hair, all the time.

Amazon

This broom is awesome! I have two large breed dogs (that she’d like crazy) and hard wood floors that have to be swept daily. I don’t know how well it would work on carpets, but it does an excellent job sweeping fur, hair, and dirt up. The best part… You don’t have to clean the bristles like a regular broom. I just rinsed the broom when I was done and the little dirt that was on the bristles washed away! I hate having to pull dust balls and hair out of normal broom bristles.

Just note: The rubber bristles are not fine enough to clean under moldings (the small gap between the molding and the floor) for those areas, I still use a vacuum. I’m not sure why this broom has negative reviews.. I read a bunch of them and can not relate to any of the issues people complained about. I’m chalking them up to user error. As John Lydgate said “you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.

Get it on Amazon for $18.50.

3. If you tie two microfiber rags around a pair of tongs, you can clean those moldy refrigerator shelves that have been smelling like rotten chicken and spilled cold brew.

onecrazyhouse.com

onecrazyhouse.com

This brilliant idea comes from One Crazy House. You can use any tongs you have in the house, and can easily buy microfiber cloths on Amazon for only $9.99.

4. If you have a ceiling fan, quit tossing dust around your room and use an old pillowcase to clean it.

homemakerchic.com

This idea comes from Homemaker Chic. Not only is it way easier than using a duster, but the dust falls right into the pillowcase so you’re not sneezing your brains out.

5. Use this spot cleaner to get even the toughest stains out of your carpets without scrubbing like a madman. Just blot it right on.

Amazon

I had terrible rust and oil stains all over the seats of my car when I bought it. I tried other cleaners to get it out, but they actually made the stains darker. I took it to the dealership to see if they could get it out and they flat out told me no, so I gave up and lived with it for almost 5 years. I tried this after it was recommended by a friend. I sprayed it on and literally watched the stain run right off my seat. It was amazing! I thought I was going to have to pay hundreds of dollars to replace the seats in my car because nothing else would work. This stuff really is awesome!

Get a bottle of this easy-to-use cleaner on Amazon for only $10.50.

6. Put vinegar in a zip-lock bag and place it over your showerhead for 1-2 hours to get all that rusty, dusty mold-ish stuff off.

BuzzFeed

7. Get into the cracks of your tiles or bathroom floor/shower with an automatic scrubbing brush, which takes the time and effort out of cleaning.

Amazon

Ok, I feel stupid writing this, but I hope it encourages you to buy this…. I just spent 2 hours scrubbing the ceramic tile floor in my 2nd bathroom. This is a room where my elderly, incontinent cat lives so… use your imagination. I leave pee pads and towels down, but she still does her thing. I clean her room consistently, and every few months I do a heavy duty scrubbing by soaking the floor and grout in Nature’s Miracle and start scrubbing. It takes hours because I can’t get the corners well, and the grout is such a pain to clean.

Well, this product is amazing. I used this for the grout lines, and I used the corner attachment for… corners. It was amazing. It got gunk and grime off the grout that has been there for years (I haven’t resealed this floor since it will have to be taken out when the cat dies). I even used these to scrub the cabinet doors, around the toilet, etc. and they were really, really great. you have to put the right amount of pressure on the brush, but once you do- it’s *wonderful.* See how stupid I feel, writing such a glowing review for this? I swear I wasn’t endorsed, I wish they would pay me to test products after this! Between my Rubbermaid Reveal power Scrubber and Nature’s Miracle my bathroom is cleaner than it has been in years, and in less time than it’s ever taken me to deep clean it.

Get it on Amazon for only $13.54.

8. Use your dishwashing wand for floors by putting vinegar in it to scrub your tiles/stone shower.

smartschoolhouse.com

You can also use it for the glass doors to get them perfectly clean, according to  Smart School House. You can grab one of these on Amazon for only $9.38.

9. For those nasty, disgusting toilet rings, use a pumice stone to get the colors and stains out way easier and quicker (because who wants to spend time scrubbing a toilet, anyway?)

Amazon

 The house I recently moved into had a hard water line in the toilet and it was no big deal for the first couple of months. I never really paid much attention to it. That is, until my mom said she would be coming over for a visit. Suddenly, the hard water line in the toilet was glaring at me, making me feel like a disgusting human being living in filth. I had to get rid of it. A kitchen sponge and a dish cloth were both ruined in my attempts. Finally, after countless hours of research and many sleepless nights, I had my answer: The Pumie. As soon as it arrived I was on my hands and knees scrubbin’ that bowl. After it was done I was stood over my toilet with the same posture as a successful climber reaching the summit of Mt. Everest. I had defeated the hard water line with The Pumie. The satisfaction I had by accomplishing this otherwise mundane task made me realize I had truly entered adulthood. But, I did not stop there. Hard water marks around the bathroom sink drain? Gone. Hard water lines around the kitchen faucet? GTFO. The Pumie is truly a marvel to behold and I will be eternally grateful for it’s help in vanquishing the hard water lines that would have made my mother disown me.

Get it on Amazon for $9.15.

10. After you clean your toilet rings, use these incredible toilet refreshers that help to prevent the ring from ever coming back again.

Amazon

These are the best in-bowl cleaners that I have found after trying many others. They keep the toilet bowl fresh especially on the toilets that are less frequently used in my house. I have found them to last a month or more. My father, a plumber, warned me years ago never to use those cleaners which you drop in the tank because the strong chemicals will eventually corrode the plumbing fixtures. Yes, I took his advice after some unwanted repairs.

Grab them on Amazon for only $1.98. 

11. If you have a stainless steel fridge, Pledge will not only clean it but also polish it at the same damn time.

thediygirl.com 

The DIY Girl, just spray the Pledge right onto the fridge and buff it off with a dry cloth. Grab a bottle of pledge on Amazon for only $4.19. 

12. Clean your stove top in only 5 minutes by using some dish soap (like dawn) and hydrogen peroxide. Use a dish soap brush to scrub it off.

mythirtyspot.com  

Hack from My Thirty Spot.

13. Clean any white sink easily and have it sparkling again by using baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.

lemonslavenderandlaundry.com 

Hack from Lemons, Lavender, and Laundry.

14. Clean every inch of your keyboards by using this double sided brush.

Amazon 

My laptop hasn’t been so clean since I bought it! Much better than compressed air cleaning. Using the rubbery end, you can even clean off the finger-tracker; and using the little brush, you get out all those annoying little crumbs and pieces of stuff that both impede your keyboard performance and make it look dirty. I wish I would have taken before and after pictures—the difference is astonishing! I was skeptical, but this little tool is worth the price.

Get it on Amazon for $4.95.

15. Use a lint roller on any lampshades that have a bunch of built-up hair and dust on them.

creeklinehouse.com 

Hack from Creekline House.

16. Also, use a lint roller on any screens to capture all that pollen and dust.

handymanmagazine.co.nz 

Hack from Handyman Magazine.

17. Mix baking powder and a flowery-smelling essential oil to spread all over your mattress. The scent will get soaked into it, and when you’re done, just vacuum it right up.

onegoodthingbyjillee.com 

Hack from One Good Thing by Jillee.

18. Put your pillows in the washing machine while you let the baking soda sit in your bed so they smell brand new.

thehappierhomemaker.com

Hack from the Happier Homemaker.

19. Get rust stains out of your dishwasher by running a cycle of Kool-Aid.

wikihow.com 

Hack from Wikihow.

20. Get weird scents out of your washing machine (like that horrible wet-dog smell) by running on an empty cycle with vinegar.

iheartnaptime.net 

Hack from I Heart Naptime.

21. Clean your vacuum filters in the dishwasher to save time and get a better clean.

agirlandherneedle.blogspot.com 

Hack from A Girl and Her Needle.

22. Also, clean your vent covers, filters, and anything else that’s easily removable in the dishwasher so you can let it run and do something better with your time while it’s cleaning.

onecrazyhouse.com

Hack from One Crazy House.

The post 20+ Easy Ways To Clean Your House That Takes Little To No Effort appeared first on .

https://postaddict.com/2018/03/09/20-easy-ways-to-clean-your-house-that-takes-little-to-no-effort/

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Mourning John Perry Barlow, the Bard of the Internet

When I first met John Perry Barlow, we became instant soulmates. While that sentence is true for me, it also applies to probably 10,000 other people. That was Barlow—whether you were a world-famous avatar of LSD, a stuffy CEO, or the Vice President of the United States, he would win you over with his affable demeanor, arresting observations, and a mordant take on the human condition.

He had a unique and compelling credential—“junior lyricist of the Grateful Dead” was the way he put it—and he wielded it like an all-access laminate to the concert hall of life. His rock and roll bona fides was only one strand of a web of myths he pulled out of his suede jacket like a well-rolled joint: cowboy, poet, romantic, family man, philosopher, and ultimately, the bard of the digital revolution. He was an influential voice and an intimate participant in the early days of Wired, a co-founder and spiritual inspiration for the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), and the guy who promoted cyberspace as deftly as Steve Jobs hyped Apple. By the time he was done, he was more famous for proselytizing the internet than he was for co-writing “Cassidy” and other Dead classics.

Done he is—Barlow died in his sleep last night in San Francisco. He was 70 years old.

Barlow’s impact is such that even those who aren’t familiar with his name have long been grappling with his vision of the networked world, one where speech and creativity flow unfettered, and truth targets power with the speed of a bullet. But Barlow won’t be remembered only for the way he rustled prose, ideas or lyrics. IRL, he was bigger than life.

Barlow was never shy about sharing his biography. He hailed from Pinedale, Wyoming, where his family had lived for generations. He fatefully went off to a Colorado boarding school, where his roommate (and, naturally, soulmate) was future Dead guitarist Bob Weir. Barlow went to college in the liberal arts enclave of Wesleyan, where by his own description he cut a troubadour-ish figure with his motorcycle and ten-gallon Stetson. Back in Wyoming, he helped with the ranch, which seemed to have a function beyond raising cattle—a place where rich kids would go to get straightened out. One of those kids was John F. Kennedy Jr., who became a close Barlow friend. Meanwhile, as his former roommate Bob Weir found himself in a celebrated rock and roll band, Barlow began helping him put words to music, at first for a Weir solo album and then for the Dead in general.

I’m not sure how Barlow became interested in technology—maybe it was just his highly tuned zeitgeist antenna. Somehow he wound up at a Hackers Conference in 1989, where I met him. As a sometimes Deadhead, I had a fan-boy attraction to someone who was part of the family. But he was keenly interested in the world of hackers and we spoke endlessly about that. A few weeks later, when I scored a couple of tickets to the Bay Bridge World Series, I offered one to him. Twenty minutes before the starting time, the Earth shook—the Loma Prieta earthquake. It wasn’t until well after midnight that we found a working telephone to report ourselves alive to our respective wives.

Over the next few years, I watched with fascination as Barlow became a leading voice in technology. With no engineering experience whatsoever, he became a great explainer, turning his gift for bullshit into a force for comprehension. He could hang around a bunch of cryptographers for a while and two weeks later explain public key crypto (pretty much) to a room of bankers, diplomats, and corporate managers. Even more important, he grasped the soul of the technology, whether the transporting aspects of virtual reality or the glorious disruptiveness of friction-free distribution. In this current era of digital remorse, his Panglossian take on the net is sometimes mocked. But as he explained to Andy Greenberg a couple of years ago, he was all too aware that the possibilities he celebrated would be the artifacts of an ideal outcome, a scenario worth working for. One still worth dreaming about.

During the 1990s, Barlow worked his way into the center of big tech discussions, both through his writing and his activism. He convinced software entrepreneur Mitch Kapor to fund the EFF—a foundation devoted to preserving digital human rights that forged an admirable legacy over the next few decades. He became pals with Tim Leary. Barlow also found soulmates in the Clinton White House and the NSA. When one friend accused him of liking Air Force Two a little too much (yes, Al Gore was a Deadhead) Barlow professed to be hurt, and then admitted there was more than a little truth to that. Naturally, his epic manifesto of the digital age, “A Declaration of Independence for Cyberspace” was banged out on a keyboard during a World Economic Forum.

His big ideas and big personality often overshadowed what I thought was Barlow’s underrated power as a writer. Between 1989 and the early 2000s he created a series of operatic non-fiction pieces—on virtual reality, on the prosecution of hackers, and of course on the meaning of cyberspace—that matched the best in the business. I would often goad him to get into that business. Indeed he was forever planning to write a magnum opus on his technology views, to be entitled “Everything You Know Is Wrong.” But he never seemed to have the time or discipline to craft that legacy-making big book.

Barlow was always on the move, and in email dispatches he sent to a voluminous mailing list of friends–“by that I mean those who would bail me out of jail,” he’d explain to the hundreds who fit that category–he’d share a complicated itinerary, along with his current location in “meatspace.” Despite his self-styled rambling man persona, he adored his three daughters, whom he dubbed the Barlowettes. But in 1993, Barlow met and fell hard for a young woman who was attending a conference at a hotel where Barlow also happened to be staying. She was a brilliant psychiatrist just short of thirty. The two of them moved into my Greenwich Village apartment while my family was spending a year in Western Massachusetts. When we moved back, we kicked him out—he never did manage to fulfill his vague promise to pay us some rent—and they moved to a ground floor apartment on 23rd St.

All was cool, and in early 1994, I accompanied the couple, along with a Barlowette or two, to a Grateful Dead concert at Nassau Coliseum, on New York’s Long Island. Going to a Dead concert with Barlow was something special. Even as a non-performing member of the Illuminati, he was regarded with awe. The sea of Deadheads would magically part as he made his way through them, Gandhi-style, and you could follow him into increasingly fortified sanctums until you made it to Bobby Weir’s dressing room. He later wrote that, with his love beside him, he understood the words to his own songs for the first time.

A few weeks later Dr. Horner, as he called her, fell asleep on a plane to JFK and did not wake up. When I heard she was dead, I rushed over to 23rd Street, where John Kennedy and I did our best to console Barlow. That night there was no laughter.

Over the past decade or so I saw Barlow only sporadically. Naturally, Barlow managed to remain in the center of the zeitgeist, becoming tight with Ed Snowden and Julian Assange, and getting plenty of facetime in the recent 900-hour (it seemed) documentary of the Dead. Every time I ran into him was a pleasure. In April 2015, I was interviewing a scientist at Stanford Medical Center when I got a Facebook alert that Barlow was nearby. When I pinged him, he told me he was in the emergency room, and I went down to see him. We had our usual conversation—plenty of laughs—as doctors came in and out, taking samples and hooking up IVs. “I suspect this will pass as mysteriously as [it] came,” he messaged me the next day.

No such luck—he remained hospitalized for months on and off for the next few years, moving into cyber-rights activist John Gilmore’s San Francisco Victorian, dubbed Toad Hall. He almost died a couple of times, but then rallied. You could see that after each of those episodes a little more was gone from him, like a thrice Xeroxed document. But when I visited him last year, we spent the whole time laughing again. And even last week on his Facebook feed, there were two pictures of a wisp-like Barlow with a smile on his face: one shot with his new grandchild and the other of him scarfing down a cheeseburger while his old friend Bobby looked on. Say what you will about the toxic internet, it was good to see those photos.

Better yet is the news he posted just about a week ago that he had finished an autobiographical novel that Penguin will publish. “You may be in it,” he told the thousands of soulmates, and we probably will.

Talking about his famous band in 2005, Barlow wrote, “Many of us are actually dead now… many more of us would be had we not developed such an astonishing facility for spitting in the Devil’s eye and laughing.”

Now Barlow can expectorate directly into the Satan’s outraged punim while Jerry Garcia, Tim Leary, and Doctor Horner cheer him on. For those of us left behind, the world is dumber and less fun.

Barlow's Legacy

The former Grateful Dead lyricist reflects on his famous “Declaration of Independence of Cyberspace” 20 years after its publication.

Barlow wasn't the only famous Deadhead behind the invention of Silicon Valley.

The digital rights pioneer landed on a proto-prototype cover of the first issue of WIRED.

Read more: https://www.wired.com/story/mourning-john-perry-barlow-the-bard-of-the-internet/

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