#i already introduced everything that i touch explodes kitty

[premamelody]

im on a utysd roll

all pillars in subconcious world minus 1

[highdramas]

the billboard said the end is near | b.b.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 | 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

warnings: language, possible tfatws spoilers, canon typical violence, bucky is soft and loves his doll and will do anything to keep her safe

word count: 2184

summary: bucky is protective over what has given him solace.

note: here's tawlb part 4! you don’t have to read these in order, they stand independently, but they do all work together! PLEASE leave feedback/reblog! this is extremely helpful for me writing future parts to know what everyone likes or doesn’t like!

enjoy! <3

chaos has always controlled your life.

in all of the best ways, and all of the worst ones, too. in the best ways, it has allowed you to not take life too seriously. it has allowed you to let things roll off your shoulders and keep your easy breezy demeanor. you like to think that you don’t allow the little things to affect you-- you also note that it’s because the big things have been so all consuming.

who knew that turning to dust for five years would turn your life into such a shit show?

the five years hadn’t felt like five years to you at all. it felt like one day, you had been laying on your couch watching tv, and then five years later you were appearing in someone else’s apartment. all of your things, gone.

you will never forget their screams as they watched you materialize from nothing.

of course, you can’t blame them. and it wasn’t just this apartment. the screams and the chaos broke through the entire building. people busting from doors, crying and scrambling to use their cell phones, to see if this was really happening.

the couple that had moved into your apartment after you dusted had been kind, all things considered. the woman had held you and you could feel her crying and she kept saying do you have family? do you know their numbers?

finally, you couldn’t help yourself. you had asked, “what happened to me?”

“you’ve been gone for five years, honey.”

these sorts of revelations had ruled your life for the months since you came back.

like when you called your boyfriend only to find out that he was engaged.

like when you found out that you certainly didn’t have a job anymore.

like when you found out that you had no apartment, no savings, no anything. nothing left.

it has been over a year since the blip and you are still feeling the repercussions from it. you are still feeling the hurt of having your life upended, you are still feeling the hurt of missing a life that went on without you. it’s hard not to daydream about what could’ve been. what could’ve stayed the same.

then bucky looks at you, and you’re reminded that not all change is bad.

change is hard but you know that he kisses you and it makes your brain fuzzy, he lays you back on your mattress and he stays with you until the sun rises. change is hard but you introduce him as my boyfriend, james to every new person you meet and you watch as he smiles and pride lingers in his eyes and he carefully places his arm around your shoulders. change is hard but he doesn’t wear the gloves around you anymore.

change is hard, but bucky is better than any of it.

he’s been gone more than normal lately.

of course, you understand. and, really, you think it might be good for him. not the fighting-- while you understand the benefit it has for him, the purpose that it gives him, that’s not the thing that you believe serves him best. no, it is sam. it is sam’s family. it is knowing that there are other people out there in the world who are looking at him the same way that you look at him.

okay, maybe not exactly the same.

bucky had sent you a text from that stupid dinky flip phone that morning, saying that he would be home that night. the implications go unsaid.

you and the winter soldier have formed quite the routine-- he has a key to your apartment on his keyring (it’s a disney princess key. it’s the only spare that you had, and the laughter that erupted from you had made him relent in trying to barter for the cat printed key you have). he’s going to let himself in, probably around ten. you’ll already have the chinese takeout spread out on the table. you’ll spread your arms out and do little jazz hands towards the food and you’ll say, “ta-da.”

and you will watch as the tension in his shoulders starts to ease and he sets his duffel bag down in your entryway and he will cross the room to you. his arms will snake around your waist and his face will be buried into the crook of your neck. he will sigh and you will stroke his hair and you will say, “welcome home, buck.”

but now, it is nine. it is nine and you are curled up on your couch and kitty rests in your lap and you feel yourself growing antsy waiting for bucky to come home. she looks up at you and lets out that little trill as you scratch her head and you smile.

the smiling doesn’t last long.

the building that you and bucky live in is not swanky by any means. it was built in the 40s, with creaky floors and ugly carpeted hallways. the walls are thin and you can hear everything-- really, everything. and the shouting and commotion is certainly not typical.

you move to stand just as the door bursts--or explodes, you’re not sure which is the better word-- open. a scream leaves your lips and you hold onto your cat for dear life, scrambling back into your bedroom and clicking the door behind you. your limbs are shaking and you nearly trip over your dresser and your cat nearly claws your arm off.

you hear bucky before you see him.

“you really think i wasn’t gonna find out about this little stunt?” you’ve never heard his voice like this-- so low, so full of absolute rage. “you’re out of your fucking mind.”

the other person is stammering and though you don’t see the blow that bucky lands on their face, you do hear the aftermath. bucky is talking to someone and you finally set your cat down and you hear bucky on the other side of the door. “doll, it’s me.”

you open the door and look at him with a pounding heart and shaking hands. he looks just as shaken, but more than that-- he’s angry. his fists are clenched at his sides. “buck--” you lay a hand on your chest and you try to gain control of your breathing and you can see that he is doing the same. “what happened?”

bucky hesitates. you watch the gears turning in his head, and it makes your head tilt to the side. “bucky, i’m not kidding-- tell me.”

“we were on our way back and sam got a tip from torres that the flag smashers were--” he cringes even at the thought and he shakes his head. “they were going to try and--”

you watch as he struggles to say it, to really say it, and you touch his face. the touch seems to open him up. his hand takes your wrist and he rubs his thumb along the bone. “they wanted to take you as a hostage.”

a hostage.

bucky opens his mouth to say something else as you blink, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that someone wanted to take you as a hostage, but sam interrupts him. “sharon’s got the guy in cuffs downstairs,” he says in your doorway. when you look, you can see that a mess has been made of your living room-- and not the sort of mess that you create. no, it is a mess of destruction and chaos. “i’m gonna head out. call me if you need anything, i’m staying in town.”

bucky nods and you muster up your best smile to sam and then you look at bucky and you say quietly, “can we go to your apartment?”

he nods and you scoop up kitty and you pad down the hall beside him, still in your loungewear and fuzzy socks. you notice that he constantly keeps a hand on you. whether it’s his fingers tangling with yours or his arm around your shoulders or his palm pressed into the small of your back-- you know exactly what it is that he’s doing, and you lean into every touch, hoping that the contact whispers i’m here, i’m here, i’m here, and you are not losing me.

kitty drops to the floor and, surprisingly, it’s bucky that speaks before you do. “you’re gonna move in here. with me.” he stares at you firmly. “i’m gonna make sure that you’re safe. and the safest place you can be is with me.”

you open your mouth to reply but he continues. “i can’t--” you watch the gears in his head turning, the scenarios turning over and over and over again in his mind. “i can’t lose you.”

“buck…” you move over to him and you place your hands on his face. his eyes are fixed on the wall behind your head, and you watch as guilt overcomes him and you can practically hear him saying if i hadn’t been there in time… “bucky, you’re not going to.”

you feel his hands fist into the material of your t shirt and he holds you even closer. “i’ll move in with you,” you finally whisper against the stubble of his jaw. “and not just for safety. because i want to live with you.”

bucky pulls away and he looks at you with a wobbling lip and you shush him. “i’m okay,” you whisper and you lean your forehead on his. “i’m okay, and i’m here, and i’m staying.”

“okay.”

his hand caresses the back of your head and you touch the place where his heart is. you watch his shoulders rise and fall, you watch his eyes flutter shut and you see some of the tension finally seep out of his pores. he opens his eyes at you and he looks so tired.

“i sleep on the floor,” he blurts it as he pulls away slightly. for a moment, it looks like he regrets it, the way that he winces slightly. “i don’t like… i don’t like sleeping in the bed. it’s too… soft. i always slept in your bed when i stayed over because i didn’t want you to wake up and i wasn’t there.”

“bucky…” you lean into every single place that he touches. “i’ll sleep on the floor with you.”

an incredulous sort of laugh leaves bucky as he stares down at you. he shakes his head a bit. “i don’t want you to do that.”

“i don’t care,” you say with a steely resolve and confident defiance, jutting your chin up at him. “because i’m sleeping next to you. tonight, and every night after. i don’t care where. i’ll never care where.”

bucky’s exhale is shaky and broad arms encircle your waist entirely, drawing you in closer and closer. his face presses into your neck, the exact way that you had imagined him coming home to you hours earlier. you can feel his lips pressing into your skin, can feel the sheer need in it. “i don’t deserve you,” every movement of his lips against your neck is entirely felt, sending sparks through your limbs. “i don’t know what i did to get this lucky.”

“shh,” you rake your fingernails down his scalp and you can feel his fingers gripping you tighter. “if you say that stupid shit again, i’ll kill you. you deserve me.” you tap his chin and he fixes his gaze on you. “and i deserve you. we deserve each other. we deserve to be happy. together. and i’m tired of people thinking otherwise.”

bucky finally cracks a smile. “you’re very stubborn.”

“i thought you liked that about me.”

“i love that about you.” he takes a beat. “among other things.”

you bite down on your lip and finally lean up on your tiptoes. “i promise i’ll be a good roommate.”

“that’s bullshit,” he says and his hands find the curve of your waist once more, traveling to your hips. “i’m going to be cleaning up after you every damn day.”

“yeah, probably.” your hand goes to the back of his head. “it will feel safe. staying here.”

bucky’s nose trails up the side of your face. “good.” he presses his lips to your jaw. “i’m sorry about your apartment. that fucker would’ve been dead if you weren’t there.” he grows more serious again. “i would never let anyone get away with anything like that. i will never let it get that far again, doll. i swear to god.”

“bucky,” you breathe. “i know. it’s okay.” you take his hand and you pull a few blankets off his couch, toss down a few pillows. “let’s go to sleep.”

there’s a twinkle in his eye as he watches you shuffle around his apartment, putting together a makeshift bed on the floor. you fluff the pillows before setting them down and you give him a smile that tells him everything is going to be alright.

even though he says you moving in is about keeping you safe… he sleeps that night on the hardwood, holding you, and he feels safer too.

[yoongsgguktae]

honey, i’m home 02 | pjm

summary; you finally get to meet his cats, and get to witness how cute your neighbor truly is pairing; jimin x reader genre; neighbors!au | s2l | fluff rating; pg15 word count; 2.1k warnings; sleepy cats, napping kitties, loving felines, and jimin’s arms

a/n; i can’t believe i wrote 2k words about being introduced to cats uwu thank you @dollwithluv​ for reading this over and helping me with some ideas. and shout-out to @starlightseoks​ for letting me honor Kitty Cat in this.

MASTERLIST PART 01 | [PART 02] | PART 03

—

You've been standing in front of his door for a bit longer than deemed normal. Thankfully not a single person has passed you by in the corridor while your fist hovers slightly above the door for what feels like ten minutes now. Naturally your arm gets tired, you sigh in defeat and lower your hand, your eyes fluttering close as you take a breath to slow your nerves. 

You're nervous and you hate it. Hate that you're feeling these foreign emotions, one's you haven't felt since your last relationship a few years back. You stopped caring about what people thought of you, you gained confidence after that monstrosity of a relationship and stopped doubting yourself. But with him, your hard facade is proving to break just at the thought of him, you suddenly care about what this semi-stranger thinks of you. You changed your outfit at least three times before coming to his door, having to remind yourself it's a simple gathering of two neighbors enjoying food together. Again, but this time planned.

Ever since you two shared pizza at your place, your stomach fills with butterflies when you see him around the building or simply when you think of him, which is all the time, to be honest. His soft smile is engraved in your mind and his boasting laugh plays on repeat. He was charming that night, made you laugh harder than you've had in a long while. You suddenly started craving it more, after having a taste of happiness. 

This morning you crossed paths with him in the laundry room, he was taking his clothes out from the dryer just as you arrived to put yours to wash. It took everything in your power to not stare at his arms as he folded his laundry. He wore a tank that put his muscles out on display, he knows very well the effect he has and he's not afraid to show it, you saw it in the way he smirked at you. Only when he wasn't looking did you allow yourself to sneak a glance. 

He invited you over for lunch, said he wanted to introduce you to his cats. You laugh lightly at the memory of his cheeks turning softly red when he referred to them as 'my girls'. Your heart grew two folds as his love for them sparkled in his eyes. 

Suddenly you hear his door unlock and it starts to creak open. Jimin appears in his doorway with that signature smile you’ve learned to grow fond of. "Hey, I thought I heard someone at my door." 

Oh god, did he hear you standing here this entire time? "Hi." You're still rooted in place, trying not to internally combust as you realize he hasn't changed his clothes since you last saw him. Your mind short circuits just thinking about how you're going to survive this lunch date with his arms on full display. Wait, this is not a date, you need to stop overthinking this. 

"Please come in." He steps aside, motioning for you to enter. You pass the threshold into his space, slowly taking in his apartment with wandering eyes, it all feels cozy compared to your own boring place. You hear the door softly click shut behind you, a warm hand barley there placed at your lower back as Jimin guides you to his living room. “I’ve just placed the dish in the oven, should be only a few minutes. In the meantime, let me show you to—” 

“—your girls,” you say for him.

You feel him stop his movements, no longer walking in pace with you. You turn around to see a small pout form on his lips. “You’re not gonna let that one go, are you?” His head tilts to the side as he tsks. 

Jimin resumes making his way to the couch, walking past you. "This here," he says pointing to the cat sleeping on a blanket. "Is Luna." He reaches for her, pets her head softly with the tip of his fingers, just barely as to not wake her. He turns his gaze back to you, you're still standing there, not having moved an inch. "Well, come say hello." He gestures his head to the cat. 

You were still caught off guard by his adorable pout, and that head tilt thing, what was that even? Adorable, that's what. Your body finally responds, moving to get a better look at the fluffy cat napping on the couch. You drop down to level yourself with the furball, your knees cushioned by his soft area rug. "She's so precious!" You coo softly as you pet her head the same way you just watched Jimin do. The cat begins to purr in appreciation. 

You glance up at him, still running your hands at the top of her head lightly. "How old is she?"

"She's five, I rescued her when she was about two along with one of her kittens." He looks around his space, eyes searching. "She should be around here somewhere." His eyes focus to the corner of the room, where a cat tower sits. "Ah, there she is." 

You follow his eyes and see the biggest tower you've ever laid eyes on, nothing but the best for his cats. A similar-looking cat rests inside the top cubby, peacefully sleeping. "That's really sweet of you to rescue one of her babies as well. Were you planning on bringing home two cats that day?" 

"No, I was trying to find a companion for my first cat, but Bella," he says pointing to the black cat. "Was very attached to her mother." Jimin heads towards her, gently picks her up out of the cubby, and carries her back over to the couch. As soon as he sets her down, you see for yourself, the attachment he talks about. Bella saunters over to her mother and makes herself comfortable, snuggling close until she falls back asleep. "I fell in love with their relationship, how Luna was and still is a great mother to Bella. They're inseparable and I didn't want them to get adopted separately and go to different homes when they should be together."

You feel like your heart is about to explode. His devotion to his three cats amazes you. Jimin is a sensitive man and he's not ashamed of it, you can see that he wears his heart out on his sleeve. You admire him even more, wish you could be more like him, someone who can express their feelings genuinely, carefree.

He walks over to his window, the one that accesses the fire escape that is shared with your apartment. A cat lays basking in the sun on the window sill. "Now this here is my baby." His face turns into that of panic for a second as he corrects himself. "Not saying the other two are not of course! Kitty Cat was my first so she holds a special place in my heart," he explains. You're not sure if he corrected himself because he doesn't want you to think he plays favorites or if he fears he offended his other two cats somehow. You find that thought amusing, you let out a light chuckle.

"Kitty Cat?" You sit on his floor with your back against the couch, not wanting to disturb the sleeping mother and daughter. You watch Jimin pick up 'his baby', cradling her against his chest. His hands rubbing soothing circles on her belly. He comes to sit beside you. 

"That's the result of letting my old neighbor's daughter name her. She was only five, so naturally she named her Kitty Cat." He shifts her in his arms and holds the cat out for you to grab. She squirms in your hold for a moment before you settle her in your lap, resuming her nap almost instantly. Jimin smiles at you as he watches the cat get comfortable with your presence. 

The cat's fur is soft under your touch, you play with her white paws, soothingly rubbing your thumbs over them. She's a tuxedo cat and her paws look like little booties, she's precious. "What?" you question when you see him watching you. His smile is doing things to you, you thank heavens you're sitting as you grow weak under his gaze. 

"I think she recognizes your scent."

You look at him puzzled. "What do you mean? This is the first time I've met her." You gaze down at the cat. Have you seen her before? She doesn't seem familiar. 

Your eyes are back on him as he chuckles. "Well you see," he starts. He points at the window Kitty Cat was just sleeping at. "She is the only one allowed on the fire escape because she doesn't run away, except for this one day." He runs his hands through his beautiful black hair, you assume he's mentally reliving the stress of whatever story he is about to retell as his face scrunches up slightly. You watch his locks settle back into place, they look so soft to touch. 

"I went out to the fire escape to bring her back in after some time had passed but she was nowhere to be found. She ended up in your apartment actually." 

That had you narrowing your eyes at him. "How on earth did she get into my apartment?"

"Did you forget already?" Jimin looks at you dumbfounded. "You have a problem with leaving your window open. We talked about this." One of his eyebrows lifts up as he looks at you teasingly, shaking his head in disbelief. 

Right. You don't close your windows. "Yeah yeah, ok I get it." You wave him off. You've been doing a better job at remembering to do so since the night he decided it was a good idea to climb through your window, giving you a heart attack. "How did you get her out?"

Now he's doing that thing again, grabbing at the back of his neck. His arms flex at the motion, your eyes struggling to stay focused on his face and definitely not on his toned muscles. "When I finally heard her meow, I saw her in your living room. I kept trying to make her come to me, but she wouldn't. So I panicked." 

He shrinks into himself slightly and murmurs, "I went in and grabbed her quickly." He looks at you sheepishly, biting his lip as he paused for a moment to gauge your reaction. "But I promise it was super quick and I closed the window behind me," he finished hurriedly. 

Your hands stop their movement on Kitty Cat. You lift a finger and poke at his chest. "So when you said you close my window because you care about my safety, you meant to say you close it because your cat was getting into my apartment." His chest felt firm under your finger. You're momentarily consumed with thoughts of running your hands against his chest, but you're quickly brought back to the present when Jimin grabs your hand.

"Yes, but I also care about your safety, that's why I keep doing it." He doesn't let go of your hand, lowering it in his lap as he continues, "I closed it for you two days ago for example. It was wide open again." His thumb slowly brushes against your knuckles as he holds your gaze.

You fall into a comfortable silence as you two sit there on his floor. Your heart is pounding out of control at the tender contact and the idea of him caring. Does he care for you as his neighbor? Or would you be silly in thinking it could be more than that? You two were strangers just a few weeks ago. You never would have predicted being in this position, over his house with his cat on your lap and him holding your hand.

The oven beeps, signifying the food is ready, screaming for it to be taken about before it burns. The noise makes Kitty Cat stir on your lap. Jimin loosens his grip on your hand and you reluctantly let him go. You watch him grab her off your lap and place her on the couch with the other two.

He stands up, brushes away the imaginary dust on his jeans, and clears his throat. You also busy yourself with fixing your shirt, not knowing where to put your hands now that it wasn't connected with his. You look up to see his hand reaching out to help you stand. 

"Let's eat?"

Your hands connect again. You feel at ease.

—

< PART 01 | PART 03 >

all rights reserved © 2020 yoongsgguktae copying / redistributing the work is not allowed

—

reviews are always welcomed :)

MASTERLIST

[manjuhitorie]

Shinoda’s Instagram Q&A July 18th 2020 - Part 1

👋How are Retro Tone’s Saddles? 🗣The steel saddles are way worth a shot　 　👀 http://astronauts69.com/retrotone/ - https://twitter.com/sho_do_teki/status/1019548356383682561

👋What bandsmen have you been keeping in touch with? 🗣I got calls from Hiroki-san of Lego Big Morl And Adam Touch Takahashi of Bed In (honorifics omitted) I’m usually never the one to hit people up first... 

👋What are you doing awake this late? (approx 3AM JST) 🗣Listening to Audrey on the radio 　���� Audrey are a manzai comedy duo! https://wow-j.com/en/Allguides/other/tips_manners/02304_en/#2

👋 Have you eaten any pudding lately? 🗣I deeply apologize for waiting so long to make this clear. The pudding phase has long ended. We had a good run everyone.

　👀 https://twitter.com/sho_do_teki/status/1245973638550917121 Shinoda had found a pudding recipe on cookpad which requires only a microwave, a single egg, then milk, sugar, and a sprinkle of vanilla essence! This discovery sparked a trend among Hitorie fans, as many were giving it a shot themselves and joining in on the sweetness!

👋 What is your favorite? 🗣My favorite what?

👋 Are you sleepy? 🗣No problems here

👋 What’s your opinion feeling on cicadas? 🗣My opinion is that they’re dogshit

👋 I’m knee-deep in depression right now, what do I do.. 🗣Watch Audrey videos on youtube You’re bound to laugh and whisk the time away, it’s ideal

👋 How are you? 🗣Physically I’m healthy. Mentally I’m so-so.

👋 Did you get ygarshy any presents for his birthday? If you did, what did you get him? 🗣I can’t tell ya bastards.

👋What happened to your smoke machine? 🗣I still have it 　👀 https://twitter.com/sho_do_teki/status/1269167465499521025 
For SND’s birthday, ygarshy had gotten him a smoke machine. The kind commonly seen at concerts to add effects.
 To quote Shinoda’s reception, he said, “I’m sure y’all got a taste of the level of insanity our bassist is, judging from the MC chat reports of last year’s tour but… This should really set in stone just how insane he is.” 

👋Any new song recs? 🗣SUTENEKO by Siamese Cats 　👀 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVSBarQH6ZY

👋Are you still working out? 🗣If it’s okay to say that I’m still at it then.. Yeah I’m still at it.

　👀 He had been developing aches/feeling like he had muscle atrophy due to drawing so much manga. Thus, after even Hitorie’s manager urged him about the necessity to work out, he finally picked it up. Though he did tweet “I was working out while I slept last night, and now I can’t stand up… Fuckkkk thissssss!!” https://twitter.com/sho_do_teki/status/1264486160211951617  So… Fight on, SND!

👋I want to know what you’ve been eating lately! 🗣I’m cooking hamburgers and hotdogs at home

👋What have you been up to? 🗣Listening to Audrey on the radio

👋What are you up to right now👀 🗣Listening to Audrey on the radio

👋 Do you create distortion by using your amp, or by stomping around by your feet? 🗣By my feet

👋 What’s next after the pudding phase? 🗣I’m in a hamburger phase now

👋 Who manga artist you especially like 🗣I’ve always loved Douman Seiman sensei 　👀 https://myanimelist.net/people/12266/Sayman_Dowman

👋 What’s good about Jaguars? (*the car I think) 🗣They look all robotic

👋 What cigarettes have you been smoking? 🗣Marlboro gold

👋 You strike me as the type who talks to himself a lot, so I ask, do you talk to yourself a lot? 🗣Kinda, yeah

👋 What Hitorie songs are best to start out with? 🗣Like Senseless Wonder Or any relatively simple one

👋 What shampoo do you use? 🗣The Seven Eleven one

👋 I can’t make a song.. The day is going to end in vain again..

🗣The day you finally make it will answer everything Or at least we can hope...

👋 How’s your kitty? 🗣I don’t fucking have one

👋 I want to go to a concert 🗣I wanna go tooo

👋 Any RPG recs? 🗣Landstalker You can play it on a SEGA Genesis Mini, go ham on the ungodly maps

👋 I like you? 🗣What?

👋 Do any movies hold a special place in your heart? 🗣9 Souls probably  Chihara Junia is so awesome 　👀 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0370244/

👋Please take a selfie 👣 🗣I can’t right now fella

👋What onigiri filling do you like? 🗣Spicy cod roe and/or tuna

👋I just want to give up on studying for entrance exams. But I can’t. How do you achieve that which you don’t want to do? 🗣I feel like I’ve never ever even achieved that which I don’t want to do.. 👋 Any recent purchases?
 🗣 *https://www.jimdunlop.com/cry-baby-mini-wah/

👋 Who’s the greatest genius you know? 🗣Shimoyaka 　👀 Check them out here: https://twitter.com/simoyaka - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9qsoxiPKaY - Tanaka Bunko is the name of Shimoyaka’s doujin group.

👋 Do you ever have troubles or worries? 🗣I do

👋 Which do you recommend out of the great Ghibli 4 playing in theaters? 🗣Well, anything but Mononoke Hime..

👋 My ex girlfriend introduced me, so when I listen the memories come flooding back... 🗣What are you talking about?

👋 I’m torn on whether to cut my hair or not, should I? 🗣Enough already, just cut it.

👋 Do you have a favorite Tanaka Bunko song? 🗣High Score Girl (👀 https://ch.nicovideo.jp/simoyaka/video/so36488388) It sounds like Dinosaur Jr. ( 👀 The western band)

👋 Have you gotten good at any cooking recipes lately? 🗣Do hotdogs count as cooking?

👋 What to do when you can’t sleep 🗣Listen to the radio and stuff

👋 Why don’t you get a kitty?
 🗣Laziness and allergies as a joint force are preventing my kitty endeavors

👋 Will you sleep after this? 🗣I don’t know

👋 For my Coming of Age Ceremony, I’m not sure if I should cut my hair into a short bob or let it grow long so I can style it. Which suits your tastes more Shinoda-san?
 🗣The short bob 100%

👋 So you like girls with short hair.. Then, what hair color do you like? 🗣I don’t really care as long as it looks good

👋 I slept as this time yesterday, but I woke up at this time today. I want to be reborn as a Marlboro gold cigarette.

🗣It may be wise to not aspire to turn into consumables much

👋 What kind of gear is on your current pedal board? 🗣 *A picture consisting of a BOSS TU3W, Xotic EP Booster, WEED MDW-1 wah, Crowther Hotcake, Electro-Harmoni Nano Bass Big Muff, Arion SCH-Z Stereo Chorus, and BOSS DD-20.

👋 I just woke up, good morning 🗣Good morning

👋 Then I want to be reborn as a bed or sofa 🗣Chill

👋 Time to go to work! Cheer me on! 🗣Have a swell day

👋 I’m job-hunting right now, tell me something 🗣I hope it all works out…

👋 I’m a fan from Taiwan and a guitar newbie, do you have any tips and tricks for pressing chords? 🗣Make sure you’re pressing cleanly, I think

👋 Good morning~ Due to various circumstances I’m living in Tokyo for one month starting today, cheers to our battles to come 🗣Battles!?

👋 After drinking all night yesterday, I fell back to sleep 3 times before finally waking up just now. I woke up out of fear after remembering the news about the man who’s bladder exploded. 🗣That shit’s scary as hell? 　👀 https://nypost.com/2020/06/23/mans-bladder-explodes-after-holding-pee-for-18-hours-after-beer-binge/

👋 As a guitarist/vocalist what are you most careful of? 🗣Don’t wiggle around too much and wear yourself out

👋 Alco and Peace’s radio segments are just too damn good, ain’t they…? 🗣I’ve listened to the skit about Ichiru at an international tournie so many times that I’ve lost count, they’re seriously the best 　👀 They’re a manzai comedy duo too!

👋 What temperature do you keep your air-conditioning at? 🗣It depends but, when I do use it I’ll bring it all the way to 24 degrees celsius.

👋 What are you going to do now? 🗣No idea

👋 Have you ever been approached by fans at festivals or out in town? On that note, is it okay to approach you? (；.Д.) 🗣I have. It depends on the time and place.

👋 I love you. Time to go to work… 🗣Have a nice day

👋 Do you ever go to cat cafes and stuff? 🗣I’ve been.

👋 I’ve been job hunting with no resolution in sight, please give me words of encouragement! 🗣You can do it~

👋 Good morning,,, I bombed my mock exams and would love a picker-upper,,, 🗣Well, mock exams aren’t the end so

👋 What do you think of girls who cheat? 🗣I think they’re girls who cheat

👋 I keep doing Hitorie cover bands but I can’t seem to improve the skill* (I’m the drummer) 🗣I’m amazed that you’re even trying at all

👋 Good morning.. Please cheer me on,, 🗣You can do it~

👋 Can you tell me what entertainer you like! 🗣Kamomental 　👀 Another nother manzai duo!

👋 How to restore absolute exhaustion 👀Find something immersive, or laugh-inductive, or just go to sleep…

👋 What’s your favorite out of all the Hitorie merch released thus far? 🗣The album art pins

👋 What is the philosophy behind men who have affairs? 🗣They’re the type who can do it and stomach it, so they just do it, I think

👋 The album cover pins are so cool that I hesitate to use them, Shinoda-sensei what pins do you use? 🗣I always lose pins in a matter of minutes so I’m too scared to use them..

👋 I miss Shinoda-san’s girl and cat drawings 
🗣I haven’t been drawing much huh

👋 Do you listen to anything besides Audrey on the All Night Nippon radio station? 🗣Not much, only like Creepy Nuts (👀 They host a hip-hop/rap battle station!) or Sakuma (👀 He takes letters from listeners and digs into various hypothetical or real events)

👋 What’s the most recent movie you’ve watched? 🗣Lost Paradise in Tokyo 　👀 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1519647/

👋 It’s Sunday yet I have to wake up early and go to work, please put my heart at ease,,, 🗣I pray for your health…

[ofstarsandvibranium]

More of You to Love

Fandom: Marvel (Mechanic AU/Model AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

As requested by anonymous:  YAY! OPEN REQUESTS ! Could you do a chubby!Bucky where his girlfriend is like a model and she introduces him to her male model friends and when Bucky goes to the bathroom or something, her friend asks her Why him? and how she deserves so much better (angsty pls with fluff in the end 💓

Warning: some fat shaming ahead...

Bucky always woke up early in the morning. It was a hard habit for him to break ever since he left the army. So it was no surprise for you to see him up and dressed for the day in your kitchen, munching on waffles with a side of fruit, 

You wrapped your arms around him from behind, your hands resting on his rounded stomach as you leaned in and pecked his cheek, “Morning handsome.”

He smiled wild, mouth full of waffles. He looked like an adorable chipmunk, “Mo’nin!” he quickly swallowed his food and repeated, “Morning, sweet cheeks!”

You grabbed the plate that Bucky had set aside for you and joined him at the table, “You workin’ today?”

He shook his head, “Nope. I’m off. Steve has Thor and Scott for back up. So the shop should be fine without me.”

You nodded as you bit into a berry, “Well I have a shoot today. Wanna tag along?”

He smirked as he leaned in asking, “Is it for playboy?”

You rolled your eyes and threw a blueberry at him, which he caught in his mouth, “No, you perv. It’s just for Nat’s fashion company. So I’ll be modeling some of her new Spring line.”

He shrugged, “Sure. We can spend the rest of the day in the city together afterwards.”

“Sounds like a date!” you moved towards him, leaning in and meeting his lips halfway, “Love you, big guy.”

“Love you too, sweet cheeks.”

_________________

Bucky’s arm was around your shoulder as you both walked into the studio for the photoshoot. There was a crash and a loud burst of cursing in English and Russian. 

You and Bucky both stopped and looked at each other, then giggled. You continued your way further into the studio to see Nat picking up set pieces. 

“It’s not even noon yet and you’re already throwing a tantrum?” you asked playfully.

She shot up and glared at you, “The set isn’t agreeing with me!” she saw Bucky next to you and nodded towards him, “Hey, Barnes.”

He nodded back, “Hey, Nat.”

Nat sighed, blowing a strand of her firey red hair out of her face, “The rest of the group are dressing up. Barnes, wanna help me fix the set while Y/N dresses up.”

Bucky shrugged, “Sure,” and kissed your head before helping Nat.

As you entered the makeshift women’s dressing room, you squealed to see Brunnhilde, Shuri, and Wanda there as well, “I haven’t seen you guys in forever!!” You hugged each of them individually, “How are you?!”

“We’re all good!” Shuri said with a smile, “I’ve made a lot of progress with my own Wakandan line. Brunnhilde said she walked fashion week and Wanda, well...”

You looked to Wanda and she held up her left hand, a yellow diamond on her ring finger, “I’M ENGAGED!” she squealed.

You hugged her again, “I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!” You pulled away and moved towards the clothes rack that had your name labelled on it. You dressed in the outfit that was numbered 1 and continued to converse with the girls as you got ready.

_______________

When the four of you walked onto set, 1) it didn’t look like a disaster anymore and 2) four other guys were waiting for you all. All of which you knew: Peter Quill, Loki Odinson, Grant Ward, and Brock Rumlow. The first two were guys you’ve hung out with before. The other two...well...

“Well, well, well. Look what we have here.” You refrained from scrunching your face up in disgust as Grant and Brock approached you.

Grant wrapped an arm around you, “How are you, beautiful?”

You immediately slapped his arm off you, “Fine. Ward.”

Brock leaned into you, “Kitty got her claws out today, huh?” 

You pushed him back, “Ever heard of personal space? Or do you not think with your brain anymore?” you glared at him.

Bucky slipped an arm around you, glaring at the two men, “Everything okay here?”

You leaned into his touch, “Babe, this is Loki and Peter. Friends of mine. And these two pricks are Grant and Brock.”

Grant and Brock not so subtly looked Bucky up and down, “You’re dating Y/N?”

Bucky clenched his jaw, “Yeah. And?”

Brock shrugged, “Nothin’,” but his face definitely looked like he wanted to say something.

You ignored them and turned to Bucky, “What’s up?”

His eyes softened, “Just wanted to let you know I’m gonna go to the bathroom. Don’t want you wonderin’ where I went to.”

You nodded, “Okay,” and you kissed his lips, “There’s also a snack table over there in case you get hungry. I don’t know how long this’ll take.”

“Got it,” he said with a smile.

“Leave some for us though, alright, big guy!” Grant hollered with a smirk you just wanted to punch off his face.

Bucky walked away, his shoulders sagging and tense. You immediately turned to the two pricks you, unfortunately, had to work with today, “What the Hell was that?!”

Brock snickered, “Y/N, you can’t honestly be dating a guy like him!”

“What’s wrong with Bucky?” you asked defensively.

Grant chuckled, “Don’t play dumb, sweetheart. You seriously can’t be dating a chubby fuck like him, can you? Why’re you with him? It’s clearly not the looks. What? Is he your sugar daddy or something?” he and Brock began to snicker like insolent children.

Peter shook his head, “Dude, that’s not cool.”

Brocked rolled his eyes, “C’mon, Quill. You and Odinson are thinking the same thing! How does someone as beautiful and sexy as Y/N get with the guy who looks like the Pillsbury Dough Boy? Honestly, sweetheart, you deserve so much better.”

You stood there seething. Your jaw was clenched, fists balled up tight, and you looked like you were ready to explode. Shuri, Wanda, and Brunnhilde, aware of how protective you were of Bucky, stood back while the entire interaction took place. Peter and Loki took note of this and stepped back, not wanting to be in your line of fire.

“Bucky is 100 times the man you two will ever be! Sure, he doesn’t look like an adonis, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find him attractive! He’s sweet and funny and he loves me! And I love him! I’m not shallow pricks like you two are! I care about what’s on the inside! Not the outside!”

You felt an arm wrap around your hip again, “Everything okay?” Bucky asked concerningly. 

You relaxed in his hold, “Yeah. Just putting these two assholes in their place.” You dragged Bucky away, towards the snack table. You needed some comfort food after your outburst.

You began to pick up some fruit and set it into your bowl, “Did you hear any of that?” you mumbled.

Bucky just stood there and nodded, “Yeah. I mean...they’re not wrong.”

You set your bowl down and turned to Bucky, “Buck-”

“Every day when I wake up and I see you, a goddess, sleeping beside me, I always ask ‘How did I manage to win the heart of someone as beautiful as her?’ ‘Cause I don’t deserve you. You’re a model and...I’m just some...dough boy mechanic.”

You cupped Bucky’s face in your hands, “More for me to love. And they’re wrong. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are, inside and out, Bucky. Yes, you don’t look like them, but that’s what I love about you. Who needs a hard chest to lay on when I got my own personal pillow?” you nuzzle your face into his neck, “I love you, Bucky Barnes. No matter how you look.”

You hear someone clear their throat and you step back to see Natasha, “Not that I love that whole outburst, but we got a shoot to do.”

You cleared your throat and nodded, “Right. Be right there, Nat.” She gave you a curt nod and went back to set. You linked your fingers with Bucky, “I’m always gonna fight for you, Bucky. For us.” with another kiss you went back to set. 

Bucky let out a deep sigh, a small smile on his face. Ever since Bucky’s put on weight, his self-esteem hasn’t been the best. But he’s just happy that you’re there to help him through it. 

[howanimestuffworks]

Now it’s time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different. We all know that at this point in time the world is out of sorts so it’s nice to have that little ray of sunshine every now and again. Luckily for me that ray of sunshine just gotten bigger with me being nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award!  

I made my first couple of graphics! I think they turned out good!

Like always we have to begin with the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog so that other people can visit them.

Answer the 11 questions put to you by the nominator.

Nominate 11 bloggers of your choosing and provide them with a new set of 11 questions to answer.

Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts.

List the rules and display The Sunshine Blogger Award logo within your post or on your blog site.

The person that nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award was no other then Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise, who is one of the many active bloggers I know and has helped me come out of my shell and try and blog more then keep hiding away!

I always love reading Pinkie’s new posts and look forward to any new ones that pop up, I will recommend checking her blog out as her blog is just so CUTE! Especially with all the restyling she has done! (I so need to know how she managed to get a animated background working on her blog!) Anyway onto my answers and if you need any directions to Pinkie’s site just click here!

I am a tad late getting this done (along with everything else hahaha) but I really reaaaally needed to get my training for work completed otherwise my manager will literally murder me with a spatula!

I mean she would if she could, is it even possible to be murdered by a spatula? 

  Q: Have you ever cosplayed, if yes.. what’s your best cosplay? If no what would you cosplay if you could?

Sadly no, I never had enough money to spend on the materials I would need for my cosplay, nor have I had the confidence to pull of a cosplay, I am very self conscious about my body and hate the fact that I still have some “puppy fat” at 33 years old.  Even though I am pretty much self conscious about my body I would still push myself out of my comfort zone and cosplay some of my favourite characters.

There’s a little list of cosplays I would love to pull off from my favourite anime and games, Zelda from The Legend of Zelda series, Hitomi Kanzaki from the Vision of Escaflowne and Chibi Usa from Sailor Moon being three that I would love to go for!

  Aren’t these girls cool! 

Bonus Pic!

Kinda scary shoving Pinkie Pies head on Chibi Usa, give me the willies!  

 Q: What is the least geeky thing about you?

What is the least geeky thing about me…man this one is so so hard! Hahaha! I think the least geeky thing about is that I love love to go for long walks! I just go where my feet take me!

Q: If your life was ever turned into an anime, what type of anime would it be?

Hmm.. I think it would be a dramatic slice of life shoujo that would depict me failing adulthood severely and kinda boring…until my life goes from boring to eventful where I’m transported to another realm to go saving the world with my babble of followers that consist of my favourite characters who somehow got dumped in said realm along with me, and blamed me for that happening cause I had to go poking that portal till it exploded and sucked us all in!

It would all fall on Van and Chise to try and find us a way home without me screwing everything up in the process!!

This was fun to make I gotta admit that, plus I just couldn’t stop laughing!!!

Q:  If your life was ever turned into a video game, what type of game it would be?

It most probably be the same as the anime adaption just more in depth and set out like a JPRG!

Chise would be a perfect character to take the Healer position considering one of her abilities is creating medicine in Mahoutsukai no Yome (The Ancient Magus Bride).

Van would be taking the warrior class, mainly swordsman as he is quite adaptable when equipped with his own sword, though I can picture him cursing his head off about the amount of times I died throughout our adventure.

Hitomi would be our visionary, she can predict things before they happen through visions even though some do take a mental impact on her.

Duo is pretty good at stealth so I can picture him using that to his advantage with some pretty good stealth kills when we cannot attack outright.

Heero is more melee so would just attack outright but he is also good at physical combat and can use that to his advantage.

Luffy would be similar to Heero and would create a good tag team with him.

 Q: If you’d have to choose any other archetype but geek, what would you want to be?

I would be a story teller, one of my goals is to be an author and have my own set of YA Fantasy books out there in the world! It would be a big achievement for me in my life, I have a few brainstorms going on some of the characters but I’m keeping that a secret for now..Suuuush..

I would love to be a well known author and have alot of people adoring my stories and characters!!

 Q: What’s the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

The worst thing I did to a friend is throw a book at them! I do treat my friends with alot of respect and never treat them all badly, but this friend of mine (who is now my boyfriend, strange things happened ya know) just would not be quiet so I could read, all he ever did was natter away to me and then the book went flying at him…I regret that so much…

 Q: What is your favourite alcoholic beverage and tell us about when you had too much of it.

Believe it or not I have not had one ounce of alcohol pass my lips ever, so I never had any drunk stories to tell. (Which is ironic considering I work in a pub!) It’s mainly tied to my past, I’ve seen what alcohol can do to a person and sadly I was a victim of that, my dad is a severe alcoholic and he used to abuse me, my siblings and my mother, so I never ever touched the stuff.

It’s still quite hard to talk about as it affected me my entire life in so many ways.

 Q: How would you take over the world, in a world of endless possibilities? Be evil!

Firstly I would destroy all the world leaders and then brain wash everyone across the globe to do my bidding and make my cat their supreme leader!! (come on who doesn’t want to be ruled over by an evil kitty!)

I would then force people to constantly pick up litter (mainly because I am so sick of people dumping litter everywhere) and to become my cats slaves and servants and imprison their families if they refused!!!

Okay I’ll admit I am so bad at being evil…

 Q: Which anime character you think could stop the you from question 8.

Can I pick two…I can picture Usagi Tsukino and Sakura Kinomoto tag teaming and defeating me and my kitty! Me and my lovely Videl would pass in each others arms and live a happy and evil afterlife where we destroy Satan and take his throne and become rulers of hell!!

I think they would make a great team!

 Q: Which anime characters would be the henchmen to the you from question 8.

I would brain wash the best of the best to become my henchmen! The Prince of all Sayain’s – Vegeta and of course Goku would be mine and Videl’s guards! Piccolo and Gohan would lead my mighty army!

But they may have a tough time with this lot…we shall see if Usagi and Sakura come up triumphant! 

 Q: If you could make one true wish, but it had to be at least  somewhat selfish, what would it be?

If I could make one wish for myself it would be to be a millionaire and live in a posh mansion that has a pool with all my cats! They would have their own rooms and have luxurious beds like I would! They would also have loads and loads of toys and their own pool side loungers!!!

I’ll be the new kid on the block!

What is the most geeky thing about you?

What is the next Anime that you are planning to watch?

If you could write out your life story, how would that story go?

What was the saddest Anime scene you have watched?

What was the best thing you have done for a friend?

What were your plans this year before the pandemic?

If you could pilot a mech or Gundam, which one would it be?

If you could marry an anime or video game character, who would it be?

Tell me about the last game you have played?

Is there a character out there that is most similar to you?

Last book you have read? 

Truthfully I don’t know that many people considering I’m the new kid on the block within the anime blogging community, I’m basing my nominations based on the few people that I have come to know within the anime blogging community recently.

I’m sorry if you were already picked!!! 

Mari from Starting Life At Zero Who’s brave posts really are inspiring to me and has helped me understand alot of things lately.

Roki Bloop from Secluded Observations who actually stumbled across my blog on twitter and introduced me to a few more bloggers, if it wasn’t for Roki I wouldn’t even be doing the Sunshine Blogger Award at all!

Nabe-Chan from Geek Nabe Another lovely person that I have been interacting with on twitter and has a lovely blog!

Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise I am so getting you back! hahaha! Pinkie is so awesome and has such a cute and funny blog!

Steph from Two Happy Cats another blogger that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account.

Kiritonarukami from KiritoNarukami One of the newer bloggers that I stumbled across on here lately.

Mike from Gaming and God Another blogger I’ve stumbled across lately who’s blog consists of not only Anime and Manga reviews but also Gaming reviews!

Lesley from Lesley’s Anime and Manga Corner Another Anime and Manga blogger that I have discovered 🙂

Odyssey from LOFZ ODYSSEY ANIME REVIEWS Another cool blogger that I’ve discovered!

Jiraiyan from Otaku Orbit is one of the two bloggers that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account. (I actually have two accounts but liked the name of this one more.)

Okay I stole this idea from Pinkie but I needed a reason to use this wallpaper!

PS: If you would love to be nominated then you can if you answer this question about me, who is the character I am using throughout my blog? 

    A Pony With Sunburn Is Not A Good Look: The Sunshine Blogger Award! #anime #otaku #blogger #animeblog #blogging Now it's time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different.

[truthofherdreams]

life behind the camera (#3)

also on ao3 + main instalment + outtakes

“So, Peter’s mother,” is how Lara Jean introduces the subject as she sits on John Ambrose’s couch.

He’s done filming for today’s video, laptop propped up in front of him and slowly importing the video he will then start to edit. She caught him at a good time – not yet too busy – but still he arches a surprised eyebrow at her.

“Rachel Kavinsky,” he spells out slowly, deliberately. “Doesn’t like me much, to be honest.”

“What, you? No! You’re like, the poster boy for parents to like.”

He grins and she’s reminded of how handsome he is, in such a different way. Peter is Hollywood-handsome, the kind you find in magazines and movies and everywhere. John is more old-school, like he tumbled out of a black and white movie and decided to just salary living in modern times. Not for the first time, LJ wonders why he’s not dating anyone. It would be so easy for him to find someone to fall in love in love with him.

“Right,” he laughs. “She’s the exception though.” LJ doesn’t reply anything, but her confusion must show in the puzzled look on her face, because John sighs a little. His shoulders drop, slouching a bit as he looks for his words. “Peter ever told you what we were doing before moving to LA?”

She shakes her head. She knows they moved here when they were 19, and Chris followed them a few months later when Peter convinced her to join the squad. Greg was already living in LA when they met him, and Lucas showed up about a year later. Then came along Lara Jean, a few years down the road. But she never questioned what happened before, or how it all led them where they are, because she already knows. Passion, hard work, and their fair share of luck. She’s been through it too.

John sighs as he leans further into his seat. “Of course, he wouldn’t,” he says with a shake of the head, hand rubbing against his face. “We were both in college together, same room and everything. I was valedictorian so I got a scholarship for my grades; Peter got in with a scholarship for the Lacrosse team. That’s when his channel really started to explode too, because we had more time to film and edit and actually create quality content.”

She gets it, she thinks. It’s not something she can relate to herself, because her channel was already doing good enough by the time she left high school, so she only had to find a part-time job in the local bakery to help daddy with the bills. It wasn’t long before she was able to live off her channel, and she only waited until Kitty was done with school too before they moved to LA together. She never got to worry about a degree, or college, or even getting in.

But Peter did. Peter got it, did a full year of it while still producing content every week for his online audience. “You both dropped out to come to LA,” she guesses and finishes for John. It does make sense.

“That we did. And it was mostly my idea, so of course Rachel blames me for influencing Peter, and keeping him from his brilliant sport career, and all of this. I think it’s easier for her to blame me than to blame Peter, which is fine. We don’t interact nearly enough for it to be a problem, but. Yeah. She doesn’t like me much.”

“That’s stupid,” she comments. Because it really is, in a way. “I don’t know anyone who could force Peter to do something he doesn’t want.”

John’s smile is pleased, if a little shy, before he snorts a laugh and raises an eyebrow. “Well, I do know one person.”

Lara Jean finds herself blushing.

…

Lara Jean’s history with Oregon stops at one or two visits to Portland during tours, and that’s about it. She’s never been anywhere else, especially not somewhere as remotely lost in the middle of nowhere as Greenpoint. Their plane lands in the little hours of the morning, and then Peter rents a car at the airport, and everything is grey and cold outside, having her adjust the scarf around her neck and missing California’s weather already. She can’t remember her life before being able to wear skirts without tights, a life where cardigan were not just a night option.

They drive for two hours before Greenpoint’s town sign welcomes them. It’s a little town like there are so many in the USA, not unlike the one Lara Jean comes from. Houses built in residential areas, a sad little main street, corner shops everywhere, one lone Walmart at the outskirt of town. Try as she might, she can’t picture Peter and Chris and John growing up here. It’s too quiet, too empty. Like they had to compensate with their loud Youtube personalities to fill the void left by the town, like being loud on camera was overcompensating for the quiet of the place.

Peter drives by his old high school, just to show her. There’s a football stadium he says used to be for lacrosse practice too, and this one building where the cafeteria was, where John and he came up with so many ideas for Vines and videos. Lara Jean has seen pictures, Peter-as-a-teenager with his too tall body and too skinny shoulders, John with a stupid haircut, clothes that looked ridiculous. She tries to associate those images to everything she sees around her. But there is so little of Peter in those buildings.

His house is different. Better. There are family pictures everywhere, for one, him and Owen at different periods of their lives, from babies to toddlers to young adults. Boy sneakers still lined up by the door. A few sport trophies on display in the living room, and the fridge packed with Peter’s favourite snacks and those bottles of kombucha nobody else drinks.

His bedroom is the best.

It’s like someone froze time when he was seventeen, its own little millennial bubble. The bed is made, dark blue tartan, but everything else is a rightful mess. An old laptop sits on the desk, next to a mirrorless camera. Posters from overrated movies he’s forced her to watch at least once are on the walls, along with pictures of him and John, him and Owen, and even one of him and Gen that he takes down and throws in the bin. A few books here and there, mostly comics or hard scifi. More trophies than Lara Jean thought possible to win during a high school career. And clothes everywhere, one lone lacrosse stick, soccer and basket balls in the corners.

“This is so you,” she grins as she sits on his bed. It bounces a little.

“How so?” he asks as he drops their overnight bag in a corner and joins her. Kicking his shoes off, he lies down with his back against the wall, pulling at her hand until she lies down against his side.

“All over the place!”

He makes a face and she laughs. Maybe it should be weird, knowing what this bedroom has seen. She’s learnt enough from John and Chris, and sometimes even Peter, to know he only ever dated Gen before he dated her, no one else. This bedroom must have been the witness of many makeout session disguised as homework together, late-night phone calls, date planning. Lara Jean doesn’t want to be weird about it, because it is in the past. Gen’s shadow no longer has the power it once held on them, on her. She doesn’t feel second-best, or second anything. Peter loves her, and it is all that matters.

Still. Still, possessiveness surges through her as she wraps one hand around the collar of his shirt and pulls him toward her. Peter lets out a small noise at the back of his throat but doesn’t complain when she kisses him. Instead, one of his arm circles her waist and, before she knows it, Lara Jean’s back is against the mattress, Peter towering above her. She somehow wonders if this is what it feels like, making out with your high school boyfriend when the parents are not home.

“LJ,” he whispers against her lips, voice already breathless and broken. It’s been months of dating, properly dating, but Lara Jean still loves that rush, the one that comes with the knowledge of the effect she has on him. She hopes it never goes away, how it makes her heart beat faster and her skin warmer to his touch.

His hand sneaks under her skin, fingers splayed against the small of her back and bringing a shiver down her spine. She arches to be closer to him, mouth opening in a wordless gasp when his mouth find the pulsing point on her neck. That is new territory, after months of her being afraid of physical intimacy. She was so scared before, but she can’t remember why when only a touch of his hands or a kiss down her jaw lights her entire body on fire.

“I’ve been dreaming about this,” he admits with a chuckles as he noses at her collarbone.

She laughs too, and it comes out ragged and breathy. “Really?”

He nods, and lets his teeth graze against her skin.

Downstairs, a door slams.

They both startle

“Peter? Are you home?”

“Fuck.”

He lets go of her quickly and sits up. She does the same, fixing her top then her dress, carding her fingers through her hair so she can pull it up into a decent ponytail. There is no hiding the disaster that is Peter’s hair though, not when he’s been growing it out a bit and it’s now a mess of curls going in every direction. It’s hard to tame it, or at least make it look like Lara Jean didn’t just spend ten minutes destroying it with her fingers.

There is nothing to be done about their red cheeks, or the bulge in Peter’s pants, either.

“Hey, mom!” he calls back loudly. “Down in a second!”

He doesn’t meet Lara Jean’s eyes, but the way he tightens his lips is very telling; he’s trying hard not to laugh at the situation. So Lara Jean slaps his shoulder, faking affront and not-so-faking embarrassment, which truly makes him laugh. He’s already up, checking his reflexion in the mirror on his wardrobe, when Lara Jean tries to fix her tights and to ignore the warmth pooling deep in her stomach. That will have to wait.

“Ready?” he asks softly, after another attempt at fixing his hair.

“To meet your mom after a hardcore makeout session? Sure!”

He laughs once more and leans down to kiss her, hard and fast, which does nothing to help her forget how wet she already was from his kisses alone. Not exactly the right mindset for when you are about to meet your boyfriend’s mother, and her cheeks turn a deeper shade of crimson.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry. She loves you already.”

That she does.

Rachel is nothing short of amazing as she coos over how pretty Lara Jean is, or how nice it was of her to bring a fresh batch of macadamia nut and white chocolate cookies, or how excited she is to finally meet one of Peter’s girlfriends. Lara Jean raises a eyebrow his way at that comment, but fills it in her ‘for later’ box. It probably shouldn’t thrill her that much, to know Gen and Mrs Kavinsky didn’t have much of a relationship, but it does. She isn’t even the slightest bit ashamed of how competitive she is, when it comes to being a more important girlfriend than Gen. Probably because she wins every round.

“It’s so sad Owen couldn’t come back for the weekend. I feel like I never get to see the both of you at the same time anymore.”

Peter rolls his eyes behind his mother’s back, but there is nothing short of fondness in the motion, before he grabs a bottle of apple juice in the fridge and pours them all drinks. “You saw us both at Christmas, mom. It was like, five months ago.”

“An eternity,” she comments. Then, turning to Lara Jean, “How do your parent cope with you being so far from them?”

She tenses, just a little, but enough for Peter to notice. He winces visibly. “Mom, I told you LJ’s mom passed away. It’s only her dad now.”

His mother lets out a little ‘oh’ of surprise, but Lara Jean cuts her off before she can even think of offering an empty apology. She is used to those by now, after all. “Actually, our mother wanted us to leave the nest and live our best lives. My older sister went to uni in Scotland, so LA is right next door for my father, in comparison.”

“And you guys facetime all the time. Which we do too, mom, if you remember!”

“Still,” his mother sighs, moving closer to him so she can wrap one arm around his shoulders. She’s almost as tall as Peter is. “You could visit more often.”

He kisses her cheek. “I will, I promise.”

…

Dinner is a quiet affair of homemade lasagna followed by bowls of ice cream in front of the television. Mrs Kavinsky doesn’t do the embarrassing thing with the family albums, but she does offer her fair share of embarrassing childhood stories that have Lara Jean laughing and Peter blushing.

They both offer to take care of the dishes, and work in comfortable silence side by side, the same way they do after a night in at Lara Jean’s. Everything is so peaceful and quiet, she understands how it makes for a lovely place to raise up children.

“I’m sorry about what happened,” he tells her once all the dirty dishes are either in the dishwasher or cleaned and put away. “I told her about your mom but…”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” She sits on the kitchen island, and smiles when Peter puts his hands on her knees to pull them apart and stand between her legs. He smiles too, and they stay like this for a while, forehead against forehead, silent and loving. Which of course means Lara Jean has to ruin it. “You never told me what happened with your dad.”

Peter sucks in a breath. “They got a divorce when I was six. Owen was just a baby back then. As far as I know, he’s got a brand new family now. It’s like, whatever.”

Her fingers find his jaw, nails scratching against his late-evening shadow. He closes his eyes and leans against her touch. “We don’t have to talk about it, but it’s not whatever.”

He smiles, his hands grabbing her hips a little too possessively. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

“It’s always worth a repeat.”

[cheeseeatingtrashmonster]

Plans

LadyNoir July day 30: Reveal/Courage. Thanks @lovesquare-squad :)

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Read the whole month on AO3

The Dupain-Cheng family found Adrien standing over a pot of soup on the stove, clutching fistfulls of his hair and hyperventilating.

"Adrien?" Marinette said, pulling him away from the stove. He flinched away from her touch. "What? What's wrong?"

"I have to go," he whispered. "I have to."

"You're not going anywhere until you calm down," Sabine said, guiding Adrien to the couch. He tried to pull away from her, too, but she kept a firm hand on him until he was sitting.

"Adrien? What do you need right now?" Marinette asked.

He handed her his phone, and she wasn't sure what to do at first. Adrien had his eyes closed and was focusing on his breathing, so she unlocked it (how far she'd come from the days of stealing it and not knowing the code, to now, when he had shown her the code and handed it to her willingly!). The phone app was open, so she looked through his recent calls. There was a number with no name from less than ten minutes before. She pushed "call" and hoped for answers.

"Adrien, did you have questions?"

"It's Marinette," she said. "Who is this?"

"Marinette? It's Nathalie. Adrien hung up on me a minute ago."

"What did you say to him?"

Nathalie explained, and the longer she talked, the more Marinette felt like her head was going to explode. She reached out at some point and grabbed Adrien's hand, holding onto him like a lifeline.

"Okay," Marinette said. "We'll call you back."

"Wait, Marinette-"

Marinette hung up and placed the phone on the coffee table in front of her.

"We have to tell Gorilla," Marinette said, turning to Adrien.

"You have to tell Tom and Sabine," Tom said, his eyebrows so tightly scrunched together it looked like it hurt. "What's going on?"

"Everyone needs to calm down," Sabine said, setting a tray with four mugs down on the table. "So we're all going to sit here and drink tea until things seem a little easier to talk about, okay?"

She handed out mugs and Marinette was reminded why she admired her mother so much. The mug seemed to ground Adrien, and the silence gave Marinette time to not only process Nathalie's discovery, but to guess at what Adrien might be feeling right now.

"We should tell them," Marinette said, nodding to her parents. "About..." She brushed her thumb over Adrien's miraculous and then tucked her hair behind her ear, tapping her earring.

Adrien nodded. "It's your family, your choice."

"Mama, Papa," Marinette said, turning to them before she could lose her nerve. "I'm Ladybug. Adrien is Chat Noir."

Her parents exchanged a look.

"We suspected as much," Sabine said. "Thank you for telling us."

"I... what? You suspected?"

"We never asked because we figured there was too much risk with Hawkmoth still at large," Tom said. "And when he was defeated, we figured you'd tell us when you were ready." He put one large hand on Marinette's back. "We're very proud of you. Both of you. Being superheroes is a job we can't even understand, and you still exceeded every expectation we could have for you as yourselves. We love you both."

Marinette turned to Adrien, who was smirking behind the mug of tea at his lips. "They suspected,” she said.

"I mean, Gorilla knew, too. We should have suspected them suspecting."

"Is that all?" Tom asked.

"Did my father seriously just ask me 'is that all' to me coming out as a superhero?" Marinette asked Adrien, putting her mug down to gesture wildly.

"He did," Adrien said. The feeling of unreality that had settled into his bones was making this funnier than it should be.

"I think what he meant is," Sabine cut in, "why reveal now? And what was that phone call?"

"Nathalie has a lead on my mom," Adrien said.

"What?" Sabine half rose from her chair. "What does that mean? Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She hasn't found her," Adrien said. "She found, and I quote, 'a lead on Emilie's essence'. She said it would be nearly impossible to find her without a miraculous holder or two with her. It's going to take a few months to a year though."

"Are there others?" Tom asked. "You shouldn't have to leave school for this. Or could Nathalie be trusted with one?"

"There are others," Marinette said. She exchanged a look with Adrien. "But one is our age, and the other is too old to transform."

"We need to speak to Fu," Adrien said. "We need to speak to Fu, and Gorilla, and the school, and get more details from Nathalie, and-"

"Adrien," Sabine said, putting a hand on his arm. "One thing at a time. Let me get a notebook and a pen and we'll write down everything that needs to get done so nothing is forgotten, okay?"

He sighed and nodded, sagging into the couch. Marinette leaned against him, smiling a little.

"This is a good thing, right, Kitty?"

"I think so," Adrien said. "I hope so."

"Okay," Sabine said. "I started a list of people we need to talk to. Gorilla, the school, Nathalie, and 'Fu'?"

"Master Fu," Marinette explained. "He's one of the miraculous holders. He kind of runs things right now."

"Okay, he's on the list. Anyone else?"

"My father," Adrien said. "Maybe put him towards the bottom of the list."

"We're forgetting something," Marinette said, getting up to pace. "Can we add 'get Marinette her memories back' to that list, please?"

"Yes, good idea," Adrien said.

"Excuse me?" Tom said. "Where are your memories?"

"I gave them up the first time I figured out that Adrien was Chat," Marinette said, still pacing.

"What do you mean 'the first time'?" Sabine asked.

"I can't really tell you much, because I don't remember," she said.

"Who has your memories?" Sabine asked.

"Master Fu."

Tom and Sabine exchanged a look. They had figured that there would be a learning curve when the kids told them about their superhero lives, but this was a lot at once. Missing memories, missing Emilie Agreste, some mysterious man running things and keeping people's memories?

"Marinette, your phone's been going off," Tikki said, popping out of her purse by the door.

Tom shrieked and tried to climb on the coffee table.

"Dad, stop! It's just Tikki!" Marinette said, scooping Tikki into her hands. "She's my kwami. She turns me into Ladybug."

"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Dupain!" Tikki said, flying a little closer.

"It's- that's- you’re-?"

"Where's Plagg? Plagg, get out here and introduce yourself," Tikki said, spinning in a circle to look for him.

"I'm sleeping," Plagg said.

"You always say that," Tikki said.

"Because I'm always sleeping."

Adrien poked Plagg out of his shirt to make introductions. Once the parents were better acquainted with the kwamis, Marinette sat next to Adrien again, watching her father fetch cheese and cookies.

"Was that what we forgot? Introducing the kwamis?" he asked.

"I don't think so," Marinette said.

Adrien's phone began ringing. He cringed and picked it up, but the name on the screen made him smile.

"Hey," Adrien said. "No idea. What kind of colors? Huh, cool. No, I'll ask him. We only saw dark purple, so that's probably a good thing, I think? Yeah, I'll ask. Say hi for me."

He hung up and turned to Marinette.

"Felix and Bridgette say hi. Felix says his butterflies are different colors, like pink and yellow and-"

"Bridgette and Felix!" Marinette shouted, jumping to her feet. "That's who we forgot!"

"Who are Bridgette and Felix?" Sabine asked, writing them down on her list.

Marinette was pacing again. "Us but older."

"Time travel?" Sabine whispered to Tom.

"I hope not?"

"They're the previous Ladybug and Chat Noir," Adrien supplied.

A plan formed in Marinette's head. A backup plan formed behind that.

"Okay, first thing's first," Marinette said to Adrien, hands landing on her hips. "You call Gorilla, and I'll go get my memories back."

"But you'll have a headache for days," Adrien said, grabbing her wrist before she could run off. "And we probably don't need those memories just this second."

"Okay," she said, reshuffling the first few steps of her plan. "Do we have enough soup to invite everyone we need to dinner?"

Over dinner with the Gorilla and Master Fu, they discussed the plan. Everyone agreed that Nathalie "I Helped Hawkmoth Of My Own Free Will For Years" Sancoeur was not to be trusted with her own miraculous. Everyone except Adrien agreed that Adrien and/or Marinette missing months of school was out of the question. When dinner ended, they had a video conference with Bridgette and Felix.

"We're still just getting started," Bridgette said. "This would be the ideal time to do something like this."

"We're just getting started because our wedding is in a week, dear." Felix shook his head. "We couldn't spend a year on this. Taking on this group of magicians has already set our lives back. And I understand that your mother has been missing for a while, Chat, but we have a whole city to look out for here."

"If Ms. Sancoeur is using the methods I believe she is using," Master Fu said, "She might be able to get by without you most of the time. Maybe you could work with her for a week at a time, and be home for the rest of the time?"

"We could possibly take a few long weekends every month or so to collaborate with her, if she doesn't need us full time," Felix conceded. "But after the wedding. I don't mean to brag, but I have a very talented suit designer and I will be stunning."

"Flatterer," Bridgette said. "You're all invited, of course, now that the kids have told you about the miraculouses and us."

"We'll get back to you on that," Sabine said.

"Lovely to see you again, as always, Stuart," Bridgette said.

"Who is Stuart?" Tom asked, looking around the group.

"Me," the Gorilla said. "She's the only one that calls me that these days."

The call ended and Marinette nodded in satisfaction.

"So we can call Nathalie in the morning and let her know," she said.

"What about Gabriel?" Gorilla asked. "Want me to talk to him?"

"I don't want him involved," Adrien said, crossing his arms. "This is how he turned to manipulation and general evil, so he doesn't get a say this time. He knew Nathalie had other methods, she said so herself, and he chose to become a terrorist instead. He doesn't get to know. If we get her back... if we get answers... then he can know."

"Your father was Hawkmoth?" Tom said. "No wonder you were worried about the influence he was on you."

“Papa!"

"Well, I think being Chat Noir means you're exactly the right kind of person. You were given power and did the right thing with it," Master Fu said.

Tom nodded in agreement. "That's all I was saying."

Adrien and the Gorilla went home and Marinette made up her mind about her memories.

"I need them. I need to know that there's nothing in there that can help. I can handle a headache and needing to sleep more for a few days. Better to get it over with before school anyway, right?"

"Of course," Master Fu said. "Would you like one of your parents to come with you? I would feel better about you leaving afterwards with one of them than alone like last time."

Sabine accompanied them to Master Fu's shop. Marinette sat on the mat as before, and Master Fu brought out a glowing jar. It looked like fireflies of different colors and sizes floating around.

"Those are my memories?" she asked.

"Yes. It shouldn't take long, they simply need to be put back in about the right spot and they'll sort themselves out."

"Okay. I'm ready," Marinette said.

"Can I hold her hand?" Sabine asked, sitting next to her.

"Yes, it's encouraged."

Sabine watched Master Fu work, tapping at Marinette's scalp and dropping different powders in her hair and around her as he worked. He never touched the jar, but Sabine noticed that the number of points of light decreased as he worked. When he was finished, Marinette slumped forward onto the mat. Sabine ran a hand over her back and Marinette turned to face her.

"What do you remember, sweetie?"

"I'm never having strawberry ice cream again," she said.

"You know, somehow," Sabine said, helping Marinette to her feet, "that's one of the most normal out-of-context things you've said all day."

Master Fu bid them goodnight and Marinette told the story of getting awful ice cream while they walked home.

/*****/

The next morning Adrien explained the plan to Nathalie.

"I was hoping to see you," Nathalie said. "But you're right, this is a better plan. Perhaps over school holidays you can see my work. Magic is in your blood, you'd take to it quickly."

Adrien hadn't considered the possibility of Nathalie missing him.

"We aren't telling Father," Adrien said. "Not until there's something to tell."

"That's your choice," she said. "I only want what's best for you."

Adrien sighed. "If you say so."

She had a long way to go to prove that to him.

/*****/

"I thought we agreed that this isn't the time to do this," Adrien whispered, standing over Marinette with his arms crossed. She was lying in the middle of her floor, having fallen down the stairs from her loft and not being strong enough to move herself any farther.

"I had to know," she said. "Things are happening and I want to help."

"You helped yesterday," Adrien said, reaching down to pick her up. He carried her to the chaise, settling next to her so she could curl her head into his chest to block out the light. "You got everyone around us to help, remembered that Felix and Bridgette could go instead of us, you helped me calm down-"

"No, I didn't," she said. "My mom did that."

"You were there, and hearing your voice helped," he said, brushing her hair away from her face.

"You flinched," she said. "I upset you."

"You didn't," he said. "I don't remember flinching, but I do remember your voice and you sitting next to me and calling Nathalie. You didn't have to... punish yourself with a three day headache over that."

"That's not why I did this," she said, turning her head to squint up at him. "I hate the feeling of missing something I should know. I rely on my mind to keep us safe, as Ladybug and as Marinette. The crises were over, I thought I had a few more days of just enjoying things before I had to do this, but then another crisis fell in our lap."

"We have one, shared lap?"

"Yes, right now, with the light from the window stabbing me in the eye, we have one collective lap. My point is, I couldn't put it off."

Adrien leaned down to kiss her, the gentlest kiss they had ever shared.

"Okay," he said. "I understand. You stay here, I'm going to cover the window and then bring you some lunch and we can watch a movie."

"A princess movie," Marinette said, putting a pillow over her face as Adrien stood.

"A princess movie," he agreed.

"There's something else we need to not put off," she said. "We need backup."

/*****/

"So, I'm in charge of training these two?" Rena asked, jerking her thumb over her shoulder to where Carapace was trying to spin his shield on his palm and Queen Bee was fixing her hair in the reflection of a shop window.

"I'll be here to help now, and Ladybug will help when she's back on her feet," Chat Noir said, "but for now, you're in charge."

"Nice. Do they know..." Rena trailed off.

"Nope, and we're keeping it that way for a while," Chat Noir said. "It'll be us three in on the identity secrets until they prove they can keep this to themselves."

Rena nodded. She cracked her knuckles and grinned.

"I can think of so many ways to do this. Training will be fun! For me."

"That's my girl," Chat said, fist bumping her. "LB sends her love and says not to go too hard on them."

"Hey, they don't have to face akumas," Rena said. "It's only fair they experience trial by fire somehow or other."

/*****/

It took almost a year.

In that time, Bridgette and Felix married. Adrien managed to sweet-talk his father into letting them take the jet to the wedding, and then sweet-talk Marinette's parents and the Gorilla into using it. They hadn't realized it would be a very small ceremony, under thirty people in attendance. One of their friends officiated and there was one maid of honor and one best man. Once they were sure they were coming, Adrien and Marinette were made a groomsman and bridesmaid. It was a lovely night.

"It's like seeing a slice of what our future could be," Adrien said while they danced.

"I've imagined so many futures for us," Marinette said. "One like this would be nice though."

In that time, Marinette and Adrien went through another year of school. He continued to tutor her in math, and she convinced him to drop a few after school activities to spend more time with her, Alya, and Nino. Adrien also started his part time job at the bakery and Tom declared him the fastest study he’d seen in the kitchen.

In that time, the five superheroes of Paris grew closer, and eventually Nino and Chloe were let in on the secret identities.

In that time, Adrien visited Nathalie three times, and while he didn't believe her that her motives were entirely selfless, he did start to believe she cared about him. Adrien spent New Years Eve and Day with Nathalie, watching her weave magic together, building it like a sand castle in her hotel room in Japan.

“This is the part you help with,” Nathalie said, motioning for Chat Noir to sit on the floor next to her. “Reach into the center of the spell with the hand not containing your miraculous and say the incantation I had you memorize. Focus on the concept of lost things.”

He did as she said, and the whole thing shrunk down to wrap around his hand like a glove. The warm color and icy sensation were at odds, but in the way dissonant notes fit into a piano piece.

“Excellent. Felix would be annoyed and jealous to see you do that on the first try. Now, slip it off your hand and place it in the box with her umbrella.”

The prop from her movie sat in a cardboard box. Adrien had asked why cardboard and been told it was because that was what she had found that was big enough to hold the umbrella.

“Good,” Nathalie said when he closed the top of the box. “We’ll do part two tomorrow. Now, detransform and put your hand on the top of the box.”

He did, and was overcome with memories of his mother. Making cupcakes for Gabriel’s birthday, yelling for her in the middle of the night after a nightmare, helping her pick out pictures for their Christmas cards, watching a movie on a rainy afternoon, hearing her and Gabriel fight.

“You can feel her, right?” Nathalie said.

“She’s actually out there somewhere,” Adrien said, astonished at how sure he was.

“She is. I don’t know more than that, but she is.”

They sat quietly, both close enough to the box to feel as if Emilie were almost there with them.

“I did it for her,” Nathalie said. “I’m doing this now for her. It was never about helping your father, or getting her back for you. It was always for her. Or, for me. I loved her, too.”

It was the first time he actually believed her.

Nearly a year of waiting ended with a phone call in the middle of the night.

"We found her," Nathalie said instead of a greeting. "We're airlifting her to the nearest hospital as soon as we can. But Adrien, she's responsive. I never expected... Can you get here? She's been asking about you. And about your father."

"Where are you?" Adrien asked. He threw a robe over his pajamas and went to knock on the Gorilla's bedroom door.

"Antarctica, if you'll believe it. I don't know when we'll be able to move her from the hospital, so I think it's best if you come to us."

"Okay, send me the details. We'll be there as soon as we can."

[rauliskafan]

Always Mine

Some more Rafael to end this fabulous Friday!!! Thank you @yourtropegirl for a magical week. And as always for @svu-stories who inspires me in more ways than she will ever know!!! :)

“Mi amor, it’s only for one weekend.”

You hadn’t even so much as looked him in the eye since he came home with the suggestion. Two days and one lazy night in the country (translation New Jersey) held a certain appeal. And he had thought of everything, the lakefront bed and breakfast less than half an hour from a local winery to taste the wares with assorted cheeses. Followed by an excursion to pluck fresh strawberries; a small part of you could already taste the tart juice tinging your tongue. All of it concluding with an Italian dinner at a place so exclusive that there wasn’t even a sign marking the entrance. How he would find it in the car you would have to rent was beside the point. Your dearest most darling husband had an agenda worthy of your profession, your personality.

But for all his intricate planning, one detail had escaped Rafael Barba’s mind.

“Please don’t walk away from me,” he moaned, trailing after you as you angrily dealt with the laundry, not caring if you were balling up his socks the right way or if his shirts were hung in a descending pattern of color coordination.

“And your mother can’t help?” you asked, finally giving him something in the way of an answer if not your eyes.

“Mami’s got this teacher’s meeting,” Rafael said, reaching for your arm. But you recoiled before his fingers could so much as curl around your wrist.

“So change our plans,” you huffed as you slammed a drawer shut and retreated into the bathroom to run the water and scrub your hands together until he stopped you with a lame joke about scratching the skin away if you kept at it.

“As if you would care,” you said through clenched teeth, just catching a quick glimpse of him in the mirror with sagging shoulders and a weary sigh.

“Of course I care, mi amor,” he insisted. “I planned this for you. You deserve a break. We both do.”

Turning the faucet off sharply and facing him with your hands on your hips, you narrowed your eyes into a tight glare and watched him shrink in the doorway, feeling your nostrils flaring as you spoke.

“And Jingles deserves to be punished because you’re tired?” you challenged, stressing the last word as he released the smallest of laughs. “This is funny to you, Rafael?”

“It is a hotel for pets,” he said. “She’ll have her own little condo.”

“That’s a cute way of saying cage,” you spat back.

“You are so melodramatic sometimes,” he sighed.

“Which is a not so nice way of calling me ridiculous.”

“Keep this up and we’ll get there.”

Your next response came out as little more than a frustrated growl, and you pushed past him, furious that he could be so heartless. Making a beeline for the couch, you fell to your knees and found Jingles hiding under the furniture. You scooped her into your arms to stroke the top of her furry head, whispering into her soft ears.

“Sorry, sweetie,” you soothed. “You just hate to hear Mommy and Daddy fight.”

“Who’s fighting?” Rafael asked, emerging from the bedroom. “I’m not fighting.”

“Someone insults me and that’s what I call it.”

“Mi amor…”

He sank to the cushions, ready to run his fingers through your hair when you flinched again. But Jingles maneuvered between the pair of you, bridging the gap as her own version of a peace offering until he settled for playing with her whiskers.

“I love you,” he started. “I love the cat. It would have been ideal if Mami could have taken her---”

“Or just stayed here,” you said, still sulking.

“You… fine. Or just stayed here,” he echoed. “But this place is top notch. The staff seems very caring. There’s even a little camera right outside her kennel. All we have to do is log on to their website, and we can check in as much as you want.”

“What’s that?” you asked. “The Big Brother package?”

“I’m calling it,” he said, rising swiftly and rubbing his hands against his slacks. “You are brilliant and beautiful and being utterly ridiculous.”

“Not in front of the cat,” you warned him as he threw his hands up in the air. “No worries, Rafael. Better I find this out now before we bring a baby home.”

For a second he looked as if he would explode into a litany of words that you would only half understand, but somehow, he kept his voice calm.

“You do realize that our son or daughter will have to go to school. And play dates. And horror of horrors summer camp.”

“I don’t think that this is the same…”

Your words came to a halt as Jingles curled into your cheek, her sandpaper tongue just meeting your skin as you suddenly realized what you were saying, that his points were well made….

…and that maybe you did sound the slightest bit ridiculous as you managed a smile and met his eyes.

“You really think that she’ll be okay?” you asked.

“Only the best for all our babies,” he promised, his hands surrounding your face so he could kiss the tip of your nose and then Jingles in turn.

“I just… I worry about her,” you said. “I’d hate for her to think that we were abandoning her again.”

“Never going to happen on our watch,” Rafael said. “She’s getting even better digs than we are. Plus, daily groomings and all kinds of fun new food.”

“Not that,” you said as your face began to soften under his touch. “If she goes, she goes with a lunchbox and the food that I have selected.”

“Is this you warming up to the idea?” he asked, pressing two fingers under your chin, his mouth just meeting yours as you smiled against the line of his lips.

“This… this is me saying that we’ll check it out. If and only if it’s up to my standards… I’ll consider it.”

“Mi amor…”

He started to help you to your feet, his arms almost encircling your waist when you let Jingles climb to your shoulder and pressed one palm to his chest.

“But she better have the best cage… condo in the joint.”

“Whatever the cost,” he promised. “Anything and everything for you.”

No one could accuse the website of false advertising. Stepping through a refurbished wooden door, you took in a state of the art room with pristine floors and wide windows looking out at a patch of private courtyard adorned with fountains and several sorts of flowers. Two member of the staff were already walking and playing with a Boston Bull and a Golden Retriever, and you saw other cats in spacious pens that could accommodate a small child with pillowed shelves and tons of toys.

“Don’t worry; I have your things right here,” you said, bending down to the cat carrier to show Jingles the small purple bag containing her catnip pillow, her yellow ball with a bell---

“And I… I brought this, too.”

From his pocket, Rafael revealed one of his socks that had lost its mate in the laundry, a series of red and silver stripes that Jingles took possession of and would never in a million years relinquish.

“That was sweet of you,” your said, standing to lightly peck his cheek and just noticing the tension in his jawline.

“It is nice here, Rafael,” you continued as a woman in bright blue scrubs and a bouncy blonde ponytail sauntered forward to shake your hands.

“Mr. Barba!” she said. “Great to see you again.”

“Likewise,” he said as he introduced you, and the blonde unzipped the black case to pull Jingles out.

“And hello to you, Miss Jingles,” the woman said. The cat’s eyes were wide for all of an instant, and you feared that Jingles might fly up the walls when she nuzzled her head against the woman’s neck, her purrs harmonizing with the blonde’s gentle voice.

“I hear that this is the first time you’re away from home,” she continued.

“Since we got her,” you confirmed. “I… I can’t help but feel a little nervous.

“Understood, Mrs. Barba,” she said, her hand falling to your shoulder as her voice and her smile began to make you feel more and more at ease. “But we’ll make this a fun vacation for her, too.”

The blonde handled Jingles with a firm but caring hand, walking her around the room so she could get a feel for the space and take in the sight of the other cats seemingly content in their condos. Not one of them so much as hissed, and even as you couldn’t help but bite on your lower lip, you felt yourself leaning into the idea that she would make it through the short stay.

“Where are you going to put her?”

Rafael’s voice cut into your thoughts, and you turned to see him shuffling his feet and fidgeting with his hands in his pockets.

“Here we go,” the blonde said as she stood before an open kennel and set Jingles down on the highest shelf. Her face looked so sad through the thin black bars, and you were on the verge of taking her back and making a run for it when the cat simply curled in a ball and turned her gaze towards the window to watch the puppy dogs play before closing her eyes.

“Wow,” you muttered under your breath, feeling every inch a proud parent as she settled into her surroundings and you linked your arm in Rafael’s. “Good girl.”

“Cats are very adaptable,” the blonde assured you, taking the bag of Jingles’ toys and setting them all down in the tray so she could play whenever the mood struck her. Returning her smile as she latched the door, you decided that maybe it was best to bite the bullet and let your itty-bitty kitty stretch her wings. Or in Jingles’ case the leg leading to the paw that batted at the bar. She started to draw back when Rafael left your side. One of his long fingers inched through the opening, and he tapped his nail near Jingles’ little nose.

“Let me just get the login info so you can peek on her!” the blonde chirped, leaving you alone in the room.

“I think it will be okay,” you said, rubbing Rafael’s back and blowing kisses to the kitty. Trying to take his arm again, you found him frozen to the floor and inched closer to the window in search of his eyes.

“Rafael?” you asked. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” he said, quickly kissing your cheek and giving Jingles’ ears one last scratch with his index finger before he finally moved towards the reception area where the blonde was waiting.

“Wait. We…”

“What is it?” you asked.

“The sock should be on the shelf. You know it’s her favorite.”

“Right. I’ll just ask the lady…”

Leaving him alone, you met the blonde and heard her lilting laugh.

“Such a sweet guy,” she said, nodding towards Rafael working the latch to set the sock in its proper place. “You know he checked us out three times before he even made the reservation.”

“He did?” you asked.

“Said we had to rate five stars before he’d even book your trip.”

Which was something that your husband had not shared with you. When you thought that this was the final punctuation mark at the end of the sentence instead of the first stroke of his pen. Which made you feel ridiculous for questioning his love for the cat and any other baby you might bring into your home.

“He is the sweetest guy,” you murmured, determined to show him how much you adored him the second you started sipping wine and suckling strawberries. He definitely deserved the trip and then some, and you walked back to him, to say your goodbyes only to see him shaking his head.

“No.”

“Rafael? What do you---?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t do...

Avoiding your eyes, Rafael turned to the blonde.

“This won’t work.”

“Mr. Barba, you have one of the best cat condos.”

“I know that. Plus, the cameras. And you seem nothing but kind.”

“So…”

She said nothing else, and you watched without words as Rafael undid the latch to pick Jingles up, bypassing the cat carrier and tucking her inside his jacket.

“So nothing!” he barked back, rivaling the Boston Bull coming in from the courtyard. “I’m free to change my mind. And I’ll even let you keep the deposit. But I’m not… I can’t leave my cat here and have anything close to a good time.”

Still he failed to meet your gaze, walking out the way you came as you gathered the rest of the toys with a slack jaw and saw the blonde’s eyes stunned as they fixed on the door just slammed shut.

“I didn’t see that coming,” she said.

“No. But I should have.”

Joining Rafael in the rented car that was never going to leave Manhattan, you sat beside him as he kept Jingles close to his chest, his free hand picking at the steering wheel.

“Don’t say it,” he muttered.

“I’m not… what do you think I’m going to say?”

“That I’m ridiculous.”

Because he planned a perfect trip and tried to dot every “I” and cross every “T.” Because he found a place for the cat better than most day cares…

…because when push came to shove he couldn’t let her go.

“Not at all,” you said, winding one arm around his shoulders to kiss his cheeks and then his lips. “Maybe it is going to be a chore to send a little one to camp…”

“I’m not living this down.”

“I don’t want you to,” you said. “I want you like this. Forever. And always mine.”

Slowly, he gave you back his smile, his cheeks flushed as he rested his chin on top of Jingles’ head.

“Te adoro, mi amor,” he said, his voice soft and his kiss far more tender. Jingles pawed at your lap and started batting his old sock back and forth as he twirled a lock of your hair in his hand.

“What now?” he asked. “We’re out all this money.”

“I don’t care.”

“We do still have the weekend…”

You retired to your apartment with bottles of inexpensive wine, strawberries from the corner market and Italian that was anything but exclusive from Baraducci’s. To binge watch old M*A*S*H episodes and debate the best version of the ensemble cast until any action on the screen had nothing on the pleasures in his arms.

And as you fell asleep in his embrace with Jingles sticking close to Rafael’s pillow, you knew that you never wanted life any other way.