#i already told this story but its one of my favorite interactions ive had with people i dont know so ill say it again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

animereaderinsertwriter · 3 years

Text

Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV (in progress)

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?

Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.

Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.

Ao3 link here

Part I

A lamb in a den of lions, he thought, watching the newcomer as she settled in, ordering whiskey neat. A fool, for sure.

A fool she may be, perhaps, but even fools could be dangerous. Eren had known that the young woman was a Hunter from the moment she entered the bar (everyone else had, too) but something told Eren that she was hardly cut from the same cloth as the average Bane of Creatures. There was something in her movements— a predatory grace in her stride, perhaps, or a stiff, straight posture, with muscles tensed and ready for action— that betrayed her power to him; but for all that, she really was lovely, and the image of a rabbit caught in a patch of bramble came to mind whenever he looked at her.

Sitting in a corner, drinking his B-neg, he watched the woman as she sipped her drink, checking over her shoulder now and then. She was wary— as anyone with good sense would be— but she didn't appear frightened, and Eren's curiosity was piqued. It wasn't every day that someone so bold happened across his path, and it became harder and harder for him to resist the urge to approach her.

Eventually, Eren gave in to his curiosity— he never had been very good at or even particularly fond of restraining himself— and when he came silently up behind her, the newcomer didn't even notice his presence until he murmured a greeting close to her ear.

"Hello, little love," he said, and she startled in her seat. "Are you lost?"

She turned around then, her eyes big and bright in the dim lighting of the bar, but by the time she managed to look at the spot where Eren would have been, he was already seated on the barstool beside her. Eventually, though, her eyes found his, and when their gazes met, Eren was amused to find no fear in her visage.

"Far from it," she told him, turning her body towards him. "I am precisely where I mean to be."

Eren blinked, nonplussed.

"Curious," he said, leaning forward so that she could see the sharpness of his teeth as he spoke. "Do you fancy yourself a wolf among sheep, little Hunter? Did you really not think we would know you for what you are the moment you crossed the threshold of this place?"

Any normal, human ear would have missed the way her heart leapt in her chest, but Eren missed nothing. The fear he had hoped to inspire in her was present after all, but her face never moved from its impenetrable mask— an affectation that was somehow both soft and steely at once.

"That's not what I'm here for," she told him, widening the distance between her knees as she readjusted on the stool. "I'm here to discover the truth."

The truth— what an odd notion!— and yet Eren sensed no lie in her.

"You're a strange one," he told her, but forced himself to relax his posture to appear lazy, almost drunk. "Most Hunters— even ones so pretty as yourself— shoot first and worry about the truth later. What's your name?"

Her nose crinkled. "It's polite to give your own first."

Sharp, he thought, watching her closely. Names have power.

"Eren Jaeger."

"Eren Jaeger," she echoed, then extended her hand. "My name is (Y/N)."

That name sounded familiar to Eren— and though most names did after living a few centuries, this one seemed to hit closer to home. He knew that name, and knew it well…

"What's your surname?"

(Y/N)'s eyes flashed with an emotion that Eren didn't catch.

"Kirschtein," she replied, averting her eyes. "I'm Jean Kirschtein's great-great-great granddaughter."

And damn if Eren didn't want to laugh. Perhaps his nosiness into the posterity of his old acquaintances really was as bad of an idea as Armin always seemed to imply.

"I see," he said, and he truly, truly did. "Then you know who I am— what I am— and what I've done."

More than that, if she truly did know who he was, it was unlikely that she had come without a specific purpose in mind.

(Y/N) nodded, confirming his suspicions. "I was digging around in my family history and— well— I read what my grandfather wrote, and I just— I wanted the truth."

So wide-eyed, so innocent— so alive. Eren could see now her resemblance to Jean; if they were not similar in looks, she had his sharpness, his humanness… and, as he always had Jean, Eren envied her for it.

"If that's the case, then I'm sure you know that you don't get something for nothing," he told her, sipping his drink just to watch the expression on her face as he let the warm blood slide down his throat. "And that dealings with me can be dangerous."

"Jean Kirschtein loved you, Eren Jaeger," she told him fiercely and with such conviction that Eren nearly choked on his drink. "To take such a tone with me, to threaten me, the last living remnant of him, is the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard."

Eren was about to say that he didn't owe her, Jean Kirschtein, or anyone else any sort of respect, but she plowed on, unwilling to let him say his piece.

"You broke his heart a million ways by doing what you did, but— but he was your friend through all of it, no matter what side each of you were on," (Y/N) continued, passion aflame in her eyes. "I can't even imagine what inspired such a love, such a loyalty from him that he would forgive you for the horrors you caused. That's what I'm here to find out— what you have that a man such as him would find you redeemable."

The reproof in her words stung, but Eren was too old to argue. She could never understand what it was like back then.

"I understand more than you think," she snapped, and Eren actually flinched. "I understand that you hurt the woman my grandfather loved immeasurably, and that he forgave you for that even though he never even particularly liked you. I understand that you were ready to sacrifice the world for that selfsame woman, for Jean, and for all the others. I understand that you're a monster who loved and was loved back, but I want to know why."

How? Eren thought, shaken.

How had she known his thoughts? It was as though she had seen straight through to his innermost being.

Without speaking, she answered his question. (Y/N) took a hand and rolled up her left sleeve, presenting to him a scarred marking in the shape of a pentagram.

"My grandfather didn't settle down with just anyone," she told him, holding his gaze. "I come from a line of powerful witches, all of whom possessed strong claircognizance. Paired with my nature as an empath, you can assume I know what you're going to say before you say it."

Eren hummed, trying to appear less perturbed than he was.

"And yet you hunt Creatures for a living; strange, since you're practically one of us yourself."

(Y/N) glowered. "I hunt monsters that prey on my people, not Creatures. No innocent has died by my hand."

The unlike you went unsaid, but that didn't mean that Eren didn't hear it anyway.

"Don't get high-and-mighty with me, girl," he told her roughly. "Knowing is one thing, but experiencing what we experienced is another."

"I'm not here to judge you," she replied. "I told you, I'm here for truth, nothing more."

"And I told you that the truth doesn't come for free," he told her darkly. "You must give me something in return."

(Y/N) set her jaw.

"What would you have of me?"

It was a mean, base request. Eren was wicked for even thinking it, and vile for wanting it— but looking at the great-to-however-many-degrees granddaughter of a good man that he had once known, seeing the vitality that brought a flush to her cheeks and thumping to her heart, he knew he couldn't pass up this golden opportunity.

It had been so long since he'd had a Companion.

"Become my cupbearer for six moons," he told her, crossing his arms. "Starting with tonight, the moon becomes new; let me drink from you until six of these have passed, and along the way, you will learn what you want to know."

(Y/N) eyed him warily.

"Can you assure my physical safety?"

Eren grunted, almost amused. It was a bit late to be worrying about that.

"I think you know that I can."

"And will you let me continue in my duties as a Hunter?" she asked, her eyes searching his own as if she would find the answer to her question there inside the same eyes he'd had since he was nineteen. "Completely uninhibited?"

"That depends. Will you kill Creatures in the discharge of your duties?"

(Y/N) made a face. Eren had forgotten how expressive mortals could be, but he found that being reminded was not altogether unpleasant.

"You know I will," she replied, "But you have my word that any killing won't be unprovoked."

Eren supposed it was as close to a compromise as he could expect.

"As you wish it, so shall it be."

He turned away, signaling to the bartender for another drink, but a lightning-fast hand shot out to grab his wrist.

"Swear it," she demanded. "I need us to be Bound by it."

The meanness in Eren finally won over. He reached forward, grabbing (Y/N) by the neck, and the silver rings on her fingers burned him as she pulled at his hand to try and restore her breath. Eyes from all around the room were on the two of them— had been, since the very beginning— but it was only once the Hunter before him began to look appropriately humbled that he withdrew.

"Do not touch me without my permission," he said, "And I will return the favor."

(Y/N) looked at him then, but there was still no fear in her eyes. Anger, yes, but no fear.

She must be mad, or foolish one, he thought, considering her for a moment. I always have been partial to mad fools in general, but…

Something about her seemed different, and Eren didn't know what to do other than accept what she had to offer. Heavens knew he was getting the better end of the deal anyway.

"Swear it," she repeated, this time more quietly. "Give your word, and I will be your cupbearer."

Eren brought his hand up and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. At his will, the nail tip of his forefinger sharpened, hardening into a point; he used it to draw an 'X' onto the skin just over where his heart rested inside his chest, cold and dead. Blood welled into the cut— precious little, compared to that of a human, but still enough to run down his chest in smudges— and it was by that blood that he swore. He spoke the terms of their agreement, then took the blood from his wound with the pad of his finger and marked the same spot over (Y/N)'s own heart.

"Satisfied?" he asked, their faces almost touching, and (Y/N) shivered.

"Yes."

Her warm, living breath fanned over his face with her reply, and Eren took the moment to close his eyes and appreciate the scent and sensation of it.

"You may think you're satisfied," he told her, pulling away, "But you don't know the meaning of the word."

She eyed him warily, but before she could speak, he added, "In six months' time, I'll ask you the same question, and it is then that you will truly know what it is to feel satisfied— satiated in every way."

"As you say."

It was a throwaway comment, nothing more than a dismissal, really; but Eren felt like it was the start of something truly remarkable.

#aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot #aot fanfiction #eren x reader #vampire!eren jaeger #aot smut

95 notes · View notes

colorisbyshe · 3 years

Note

if you want to complain more about clamp I am listening :) as someone who owns many volumes of the manga in multiple languages...... I am listening. <3

okay i’m just gonna rant in a very, very long post everyone please just avert your eyes mental illness is happening

but like....... as someone who was nostalgically reading these manga to bring back some happy memories i had as a kid, discovering that these series (ccs which i remembere dfondly despite not having actually watched/read as a kid, and trc and xxxholic which i read with some of my best friends at the time) are not just deeply flawed but harbouring so much like... frankly heinous shit in them is like??? deeply hurtful to me???

and like... i could handle cardcaptor sakura being full of evil shit because i had no deep personal connection, i just wanted to better understand ccs references in tsubasa and lik better appreciate syaoran and sakura and like its 90s shoujo OVER COURSE ITS FUCKED UP! just like sailor moon and fruits basket like it’s not good but like... i can process it

trc hurts me because like... the character writing for kurogane and fai is fucking PHENOMENAL, the concept is cool and interesting and unique, it (for the most part) has great themes and the way it explores concepts like grief, trauma, sacrifice, and healing was a balm to my quarantined soul

but you can tell where they realized they literally... did not know how to resolve their plot? and it got so complicated it legit gave me headaches but at least i had kurogane nad fai and then they’re shoved to the side just for it to be revealed that syaoran... is syaoran and sakura’s son... looking to meet up with sakura... to be with her... so they can be his parents

like... wow so great to watch this beautiful relationship be explored with kurogane and fai saving each otehr from the worst part of themselves just to be sidelined for “what if those fourth graders from cardcaptor sakura where husband and wife AND mother and son but like NOT REALLY becaues syaoran is also syaoran’s own dad so is it incest or just really confusing” but no it’s both like legit when falling in love with sakura he comments on how she’s just like his mom like hello bitch? you’re 14 but i’ll still kill you that shit is WEIRD

so that wAS NOT GREAT and then it ends with THE GROUP SEPARATED AT THE END?? SO I COULDN’T EVEN GET A HAPPY ENDING like yeah maybe it’s good sakura and syaoran were separated but kurogane and fai got to stay together beacuse... fuck the incest but like... where is my catharsis where is my happiness??

and i’m rereading xxxholic which was my favorite of trc/xxxholic as a kid and... first off, it’s boring, secondly, it thinks it’s smarter than it is an dhas contradicting themes every other chapter, but FUCK it’s so interesting but doumeki, himawari, watauniki, and yuuko don’t have half the bonds as the TRC gang and like... i still don’t know why doumeki was going so fucking hard for watanuki

but the concepts were interesting enoguh and watching watanuki grow was nice

but you can ALSO tell AGAIN clamp just got bored and didn’t know how to wrpa it up so suddenly watanuki gives up ALL HIS BONDS AND HURTS ALL HIS FRIENDS just to be reunited with yuuko??? despite the themes of the story being about how self sacrifice causes scars on others?? and that’s BAD like if you love your frieneds you don’t hurt them by undervaluing yourself??? THATS A BASIC THEME OFT HE STORY

and then they rush to pair off doumeki with a girl THEY HELPED RAISE so he can have children to stay with watanuki... himawari is written off despite her last interactions with watanuki being about them caring for each other anad choosing to stay in contact despite her curse... and like yuuko’‘s entire character is never explained she’s just like “i’m a woman who exists as a vehicle of plot in both TRC and xxxholic i will never be given depth beyond that... well also i’ll ruin watanuki’s life”

and hen the last chapters are just watching everyone grow up while watanuki is alone, never aging, helping grant wishes where he watches other immortal beings suffer and lose everyone, and it just ends with him relizing he likely won’t ever see yuuko again but he’ll keep waiting?? even though it’s been 100 yers and everyone he loves is dead??

and that shit is not good for my mental health like i feel like i have been isolated fo ra hundred years beacuse of covid watching watanuki choose it hurt edeply

like half the manga is about syaoran and sakura begging him not to vanish (also that plotline was WEIRDLY dropped) and the series ends with him effectively... vanishing a sa person and just becoming shopkeeper

how fucking depressing??

i could handle a sad ending if it had value. if it said something. if it didn’t have doumeki marrying a girl he knew since she was an abused elementary schooler while he was like 17. ESPECiALLY when IN THE PANELS REVEALING IT it weren’t like “atcually neither of them love each other they love watanuki but it’s fine” like HUH????????? FOR WHY

and ive really had to grasp the reason why there’s so much fucked up shit (incest, pedophilia) in those series is core to CLAMP’s messages accross all their mangas about soulmates nad how about love can triumph over everything

and like using such a PURE message to be like “if an adult is in love with a child and they’re soulmates, it’s to be” is so fucking evil

like they’ll tip toe around kurogane and fai, yukito and touya, doumeki and watanuki, and all the gaybait that i KNOW is in their other series because i’ve grown up seeing shit like tokyo babylon and legal drug and all their other dropped manga

because gay peopl ebeing soulmates is a wink and a nod

but ADULTS WITH CHILDREN THEY ARE IN CHARGE OF??? MOTHER AND SON MAYBE??? oh that’s fine they’re REAL soulmates who will go against TIME AND DIMENSION MAGIC ITSELF to be in love

like...............................

gay people are second class characters compared to pedos and incest... does it get worse than that? like besides emotionally destroyed by the sad endings, i get that shit too?

it hurts on a deeper level like feels like a betrayal and i’m kind of really sad i revisited something i enjoyed so much as a kid (even when i didn’t understand wtf was going on, because i was literally reading it at the same time my friend was and rushing) andd discovered this like... deep rot inside it

i could have continued to remember it fondly but now it’s just like... reaching the last bite of cake and being told it was made with maggots like... well i already ate it all...

there’s no point reading clear card or the unfinished tsubasa/xxxholic sequels because they’ve already ruined themselves like they can’t fix it

kurogane and fai still won’t be allowed to be together. watanuki still outlived everyone who ever loved him for a mother figure that can never come back. cardcaptor wrote off the fourth grader engaged to hre teacher but like... sakura’s dad is still a preadator

like... what do i do with these left over feelings then?

i’ll be over it in a dya but like for tonight i really do feel unwell

okay thank you i got it out in one post i am processing the feelings

i am gonna cry about watanuki being alone tho

4 notes · View notes

fotiathymos · 4 years

Note

would love to hear the backstory hcs regardless of them being sad or not :0

SIGH.

I wrote a lot and it got eaten by tumblr and I'm upsetti so IDK if this is any good. Also this is just Lio's backstory stuff and his parents. I could do Galo but maybe if anyones interested I will?? And not tonight..

Its sad and its LONG. So just be prepared for that. Its also 2 am so no one will read this anyway so...

tw for parental death, kidnapping, stalking, genocide, government abuse, and if i miss something my apologies

Do note this isn't the end all be all for a Lio back story. I honestly love everyones interpretations. Mine tends to be sad and less cool and edgey I guess? Everyone makes it cooler, I just go.. oh heres some sad mixed with reasons for Lio's mental illness.

DO REALIZE. PLEASE. REAL GENOCIDE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IN THE WORLD AND IS NOT COMPARABLE AT ALL TO ANY FICTIONAL 'RACE' LIKE THE BURNISH.

Okay.

Lio's backstory and his parents.

Lio is a powerful burnish. We know that. He has massive control of his flames and a strong connection to the Promare. It is a common theory that he awoken as a Burnish rather young. I share that theory. Lio became burnish around 8-9 years old. Very very young. Most children who become burnish are taken away, hated by the parents or killed/arrested by Freeze Force. Lio was loved very much by his parents.

Like Simon and Nia. Lio's parents were rebels. They grew up in a world where there wasn't any burnish. They witnessed the uprising, the first World Blaze, the oppression of the burnish. They were against it. They were not burnish themselves but they could not just idly sit by and watch people get murdered and kidnapped for something they couldn't control. Lio's parents joined the rebellion quickly.

His father being an inspiring man, friendly, loveable, a leader, and a beacon for the good of all man and Spiral kind. He was fond of pointy glasses, capes and inspirational speeches. His mother was kind, a bad cook but still tried, soft spoken and believes there is good in everyone. Lio got his attitude from his father, his soft spokeness from his mother. And maybe some magical pretty eyes and hair from his mom too.

His parents were anarchists. His father worked in a line of direct action. Fighting and pushing back against the government, rioting, sabotaging government burnish kidnappings, breaking people out of prison, etc. His mother pretended to play 'stay at home mom'. She worked with the community to build unity and strength within. She'd homeschool Lio to make sure he was not fed propaganda that was quickly over taking the education system. She owned a community garden and helped feed everyone. From a young age Lio was surrounded and taught to be kind and help others.

Unfortunately, Lio was an unexpected child in an unexpected time. The activism of his parents cause the young family and the young child to be targets of the government. Considering they werent burnish and no crimes could be found on them, Freeze Force just wanted the annoying pests to be eliminated. But killing a quiet family wouldn't look good on their part. They wanted to scare them out of activism, scare them into obeying the order. Lio became an easy target.

Strange men started to stalk Lio. It was quickly noticed by his parents and caused them to isolate their child from the world. Lio was a lonely kid, he wasn't allowed friends, couldn't go to the park and mostly stayed home with his mother.

One day while playing in the backyard, Lio wandered off. His mother was keeping an eye on him of course, but kids are kids. And Lio was Lio and a rebellious kid. He wandered off into a stranger who was watching him from afar. Waiting for Lio to get far enough away to be grabbed. The stranger threw a bag over Lio's head and desperately tried to throw him into a van. Lio was young and small and scared. He was suddenly covered in flames. Burning both himself and the stranger.

His mother who was already frantically looking for her child, suddenly saw flames appear in her backyard. She grabbed a hose and hosed them down. Only to see her child still on fire. She grabbed Lio, ignoring the burns and ran into the house away from the stranger. After placing Lio in the shower and calming him down, telling him he was safe, she quickly packed bags and left with Lio.

The family moved to a new house quickly. The news never mentioned a man being burned by the burnish, but they couldn't risk anything.

They now had a burnish son, who was lonely, scared, paranoid and burning everything all the time. In their activism the parents grew to understand the burnish struggles and needs. Not to the extent of understanding completely as they were not burnish but they tried. They loved Lio and did everything they could to help him. His father would teach him to control is flames to make objects, from toys to animals to swords. His mother had him help with cooking, control the flames to not burn the food. They served many burned dinners either way. One day they walked in on Lio climbing into the oven while it was turned on. Freaking out, but suddenly realized he was fine. Lio's excuse was he wanted to see the fires.

Lio would talk about how the fire spoke to him. How he needed to burn. It became a common thing of Lio bursting into flames just from laughing too hard or crying or just any emotion being felt a little bit too hard. His father always had a pair of fire proof gloves in his pocket and would pick up Lio and rush him into the shower to cool down. He could burn all he wants in the shower with no water, but if it got too much he was to turn it on and cool off.

The house furniture had scorch marks in Lio's favorite spots. Lio's favorite books needed multiple copies because he'd get so excited from certain parts in the story he'd set the book aflame. He was to watch his mother garden from afar to not burn the plants. Lio learned to make fire that wasn't hot quickly so he could still burn in excitement or joy and not harm his parents or things.

His parents were still activist. Laying low but committed in making the world a better place for their son. His mother stayed home still to teach Lio as he got older. His father would do more secretive work but it'd cause him to not come home for days. They were still being hunted. And possibly even more so since information about their burnish son may be known.

Lio was 12 when he was home, staring into the fireplace, breathing with the flames. His father was out for work. His mother busy in the garden out front. A Freeze Force van pulled up. His mother quickly ran inside. "Lio, go hide. Now." But it was too late. Large men pounded through the front door and threw a bag over Lio's mother's head. Lio screamed for her and burst into flames. He tried to direct them at the men who now had his mother on the floor. But suddenly everything was cold. Lio was shot frozen. And blacked out.

Freeze Force arrested Lio. They told him his parents were killed for treason. Lio was to be experimented on. He never saw them again.

When he finally broke out of prison, he tried to go home. There was a new family in his house. They quickly called the cops on him and Lio ran. Lio was on the run for years. Joining and leaving groups of burnish, being on his own for some years.

When he finally found the Mad Burnish, interacting with others was foreign to him. He managed to connect with Meis and Gueira only. They respected Lio's way of communication, no touching, less talking, more actions, more burning.

Being on the run, with and without the Mad Burnish, made Lio never really have a 'home'. The only one he ever had was taken from him. After the Parnassus events, staying put or settling down wasn't in him. Lio continued to travel with Meis and Gueira to aid other ex burnish around the world. He'd come back to Promepolis every so often to stay in touch with Galo. They'd mostly call and video chat from afar but it was nice to see eachother after all they've been through.

It took Lio over a year to finally discuss his feelings with Galo. And even then, when they finally became romantically involved, Lio requested they 'take it very very slow'. Lio continued to travel and help others but started staying at Galo's apartment more. It took another year for Lio to finally call Galo's apartment... home.

When Lio finally opened up to Galo about what happened when he was younger.. Galo told him how proud Lio's parents would be of him. How he was still so kind, loving and helping others, just like his parents. How proud they'd be knowing Lio saved the world.

Okay! That was sappy and i tried to end it nice??? I didn't proof read this... its 230 am... ive got insomnia so whatever but staring at a screen typing doesnt help nor did tumblr eating this post first and having to rewrite it.

Once again this is just thoughts. I'd love to know what anyone thinks. Ive seen much cooler more actiony backstories of Lios parents being ex mad burnish leaders or something. I just got sad. pft.

Thank you for reading if you got this far!!! Much love!! Hope I didn't make anyone feel horrible. GNIGHT!

#boop answers #boop thoughts #i keep forgeting to tag that stuff #lio backstory thoughts #IM TIRED AND DONE TALKING UH #i hope this wasnt too wild and weird and dark???#Anonymous #boop merps

9 notes · View notes

nbapprentice · 4 years

Text

Lunaris Game devs and their behavior

cw: csa, pedophilia, grooming, transphobia

i saw the submission made by another person about lunaris dev ( which i will call them in this post too) and i would like to stay anonymous too please because this story isnt about me its about some friends of mine who did know the devs. (some of my friends are nb and that will be important later)

even thought i want to be anonymous i hope people take the story seriously because they are hurting people and getting away with it. maybe they have changed now, i dont know because i dont follow them. but people should still be careful. i want to let people know that yes, lunaris dev writes about minors, and grooms people to enable their behavior, but the other post covered it so well so i want to say the devs of lunaris games also hate their fans.

most of my friends were thankfully not underage when they met lunaris dev and the others. but when they joined a small server with lunaris dev and others, they told me that there were underage people in that server, and one seemed to be lunaris devs favorite. the favorite was the underage dev that ive seen talked about on your blog already. i know at least one of my friends were around when wtnc started and made blogs and ocs to support, because they told me a lot of what im telling you now.

lunaris dev and minor dev dont like their fans. they pick the art they like, and laugh at other art, and hated when peoples different hunter ocs would interact with each other instead of interacting with game characters. basically, if you had a hunter oc that talked to another hunter oc instead of lunaris devs characters, the devs hated you, because there characters were more important than yours. they would laugh at other peoples writing, because it wasnt as good as lunaris devs writing. they picked on specific people in their own fandom that they didnt like, smiling to their faces but laughing behind their back. they painted over other peoples art to make it ‘better’. they had a ip tracker to see who was using their asks and who was visiting their blogs. i have some screenshots if you want them but i wont post them here.

my friends were disgusted by their behavior and stopped talking to them, and then the devs started telling people that they never liked my friends from the start, trying to get other people to not like them anymore. some of them were nb, like i said, and the devs started calling them by different pronouns to be spiteful. even though they made a game that seems to have nb characters in it. so they dont actually care about representation, they are just ticking boxes.

maybe they have changed now and i hope they have. but please if you are reading this, please be careful. be careful of who you interact with on this site because not everyone cares if you are underage or not. thank you for reading, im sorry its long.

#wtnc #when the night comes #lunaris games #this is uhhh fucking horrifying #and also just. how fucking petty are you.#but anon: thank you so much for coming forward with this #bold added by me

38 notes · View notes

low-budget-mulan · 5 years

Note

Hi! How often do you run into psychiatric patients during work as an EMT? I'm doing psych right now and we had a 12 yo girl whose mom had her in porn at 6mo-9mo and I just want to scream at 1. these people who are pro-porn and 2. the mom is clearly mentally ill, but still what the effffff. So how do you deal with these patients?

I'm going to start this off by saying that those parents should be reported to CPS. That is absolutely disgusting and I would not let those monsters anywhere near a child. If you have not contacted the proper authorities yet then please do so now because their child (children?) Are being abused and absolutely nobody deserves that. Especially an innocent child. If you have actual evidence of the abuse and the evil things that the parent did then those kids should be taken away and locked up never to see the light of day again. Pieces of shit.

We run into psych patients on the regular. Whether it is a person who is having a psychotic episode, a person who is suicidal, a person who cant take care of him/herself, or a person who just has some sort of addiction where they are self medicating to forget about their problems (either drugs or alcohol. Sometimes both). It is all part of the job. Each patient is different. I've had psych patients who wanted complete silence. I've had psych patients threaten to harm/murder/rape me. Hell, just a couple days ago one tried to attack me in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I've had psych patients who just wanted someone to talk to. And I've had psych patients that I didnt even realize were potential psych patients until after the call was over. You have to be able to assess the situation and from there you can move forward in patient care. I'll give you a couple examples of times situations were handled well and times they were not and how I decided to act/treat my patient.

1.)

We had a 911 call for a behavioral overdose. Sheriffs were already on scene (good). We get there to find a high school aged girl. She was alert and oriented (AO). Her whole family was around plus the sheriffs, plus the fire engine, plus the fire medics, plus me and my partner. There were too many people. We are trying to talk to our patient and figure out the whole story but she isnt really talking. I turn to the fire medic (they technically are in charge of medical calls, so what they say goes even if it's wrong and stupid) and say let's get her loaded up and he agrees. We walk her to the gurney and load her into the ambulance. Typically we allow one family member/friend to ride along with a patient especially if the patient is a minor. Unless the patient is a psych patient. And heres why. Once the girl was in the back of the ambulance and away from the hoards of people she started answering our questions. She told us everything that happened leading up to this point and why she did it and how she was feeling. I gained her trust by talking to her and separating her from what was causing her anxiety and other feelings that werent good. During the transport I realized she just needed to be distracted. I was monitoring her closely with the medic and got all the medical information I needed. So we just talked about school and plans for college. We talked about her favorite tv shows and how I spelled my name wrong for 13 years. That's all she needed. But not everyone needs that. This is an example of a good call.

2.)

I will start this off by saying I can be sarcastic. Which is not always a good thing. Okay so. This was a transfer call for a man on a legal hold. We were taking him from an emergency room to an actual psych facility where the remainder of his hold would be carried out. This guy was extremely tall like over 6 feet and used to be in the military and still worked out a ton so he was pretty muscular. I just so happened to be driving this day. While my partner was getting his report I went to go get a set of vitals to make sure he was stable and nothing was wrong. Before I can even get them this dude is making all sorts of racist remarks and how he doesnt want to go to whatever psych hospital we are taking him to because "its associated with a certain kind of people if you know what I mean." Then goes on to say hes not going (which tbh if you're on a hold it doesnt matter if you want to go or not. You have to go until you are psychologically cleared). I explained that because he was on a hold he had to go and I wasnt the one who set up the transfer. I literally am just the driver and I go where my dispatch sends me. He then responds with "well what if I fight you" I realize I wasnt going to get my vitals and that this guy was going to be a problem. I walk over to my partner and tell him what's going on and that we need to use restraints (which I rarely use because who wants to be restrained?). At this point we now have sheriffs there to help us get the guy on our gurney and to protect us if this guy freaks out. We get him on our gurney and I put the restraints on. After putting on restraints you have to check for a pulse in the extremity and make sure they can still wiggle their fingers/toes. So I ask him to wiggle his fingers and he flips me off. Me being the sarcastic person I am and without thinking I responded with "oh thanks. I havent had that in a while. Could I get another?" The dude then threatens to rape me and becomes very agitated. I messed up. We de-escalated the situation thank goodness. But I could have handled that situation better. I knew he was already agitated and a dumb comment like that could have easily been the breaking point for him. Dont do something stupid like that.

3.)

We had a transfer for a woman who was on a hold. This was out of one of the worst hospitals I know. Literally the hospital that killed my grandpa. I already hated being there, but how the staff treats patients both medically and professionally (if you can even call it that) was absolute shit. I hated this hospital even before my grandpa was a patient there because of how incompetent and rude the staff was. Sorry I got distracted and ranted, but the backstory is relevant. I go to try and get a report from the nurse who knows absolutely nothing about this patient. Cant give me any history. Doesnt know what meds (if any) were even given. And gets annoyed when I ask for an actual report. Not just the "oh yes that lady is on a hold. She can talk but is being selectively mute. And you're taking her to this place. K bye." At this point I realize I'm going to get nothing from this 'nurse' and I just look through the packet. I go over to the patient who is just sitting there on the bed staring off into thin air. I realized that any loud noise or sudden movement scares her. So I slowly inch my way to her and introduce myself. I tell her I'm there to take her to a different hospital where the staff will be able to take care of her better and where she can get the help she needs. In that whole interaction I got her to say maybe a couple words. And they were basically what's going on. I realized the staff at this shit hospital did not tell her what was happening. Nobody told her she was being transferred. They literally just left her to sit in her own feces because they couldnt be bothered to do their job. Before I even touched her I told her everything that would happen. I walked her through the entire transfer process and let her know what was going on. Then once we were ready to actually start getting her onto our gurney before I made any movement I told her exactly what I was doing. She was completely fine with me. Once we get her to the psych place we finish up our transport and are about to leave she grabs my partners hand says "are they going to be nice and take care of me here?" My heart broke. I told her that yes she would be taken care of and that she wouldnt be ignored here as I know this hospital has great staff. She smiled and let us go.

By assessing the situations and the patients you are able to figure out how to handle your patient. Ive learned from my mistakes and I've learned from my coworkers who have been around longer than me. But always be cautious as a patients mood can change at any time. Even if you dont do anything to trigger it. A patient will go from happy and smiling to trying to punch you in the face. Know your surroundings. Be ready to react because things can change in an instant.

Addition: any sort of illegal activity I will report to the proper authorities. I have reported hospitals, families, and nursing home for neglect and other forms of abuse. If you are sure then ask someone who knows more. I usually ask the supervisor I trust or my coworker who's been doing this for 20 years.

#long post #ignore the errors #i just got off work and am typing this on my phone and my brains not working

15 notes · View notes

i-am-the-entertainer · 5 years

Text

RevieWBY: Volume 6

This has been stated so many times, but Volume 5 was bad. Okay, it wasn’t terrible, like I don’t feel offended by it being bad (unlike certain folks), but looking back on it I don’t have anything to say to really defend it as something Rooster Teeth should have talked up as much as they did at the time. It had some good things going for it, but the amount of problems it had in terms of animation and writing really put a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. So for Volume 6 to deal with all that fallout, it was going to have to do a lot. And to their credit, CRWBY accepted the criticism in stride, and actively worked to make Volume 6 something that people who despised Volume 5 might enjoy.

Still, one had to go into this season with the understanding that some people were never going to be completely satisfied with whatever CRWBY did. Because at the end of the day, the RWBY that Rooster Teeth currently makes is not Monty Oum’s show anymore. No, this isn’t saying CRWBY is in any way disrespecting his legacy, it’s just Monty Oum had a certain method to running the show that only he could really get away with: epic fight scenes, suddenly throwing giant curveballs into the series’ mythology, taking vital time away from storytelling so the fights looked cool. I mean, there are people who criticize the show for doing that now when they didn’t give two shits when Monty did it, because Monty did it in a manner that somehow worked. I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and, well, he’s not here to do it, and there’s no way even a huge animation team can collectively do things like him. And they shouldn’t: if they can use a better industry standard animation engine than Poser, than the fact that Monty Oum didn’t like animating with Maya shouldn’t stop them.

Blah blah blah...this is all about FNDM reception. What did I think of Volume 6?

Well...

Focus

In my mid-volume review I cited this as Volume 6′s strongest aspect, and as far as I can tell this remains the case. By focusing our hero storyline on one group and for the most part the villain storylines on only a few characters who were paired off, Volume 6 effectively told a story that didn’t force the viewers to juggle multiple things and find some semblance of a continuing story. Everything happened linearly and the whole thing made for a more enjoyable watch overall.

Tone

Building off of that renewed focus, this volume felt like it had more of a consistent tone that lasted from beginning to end. RWBY markets itself as an anime show and uses a lot of that anime-style of humor (slapstick and comedically exaggerated emotions), but honestly it’s always played fast and loose with using that humor in a way that doesn’t feel out of place. In this volume it was more consistently used, and that’s largely thanks to the nailed down focus that allowed character interactions to utilize the humor in a natural way. Ruby and Maria Calavera were especially good sources for humor.

Now, things did get a little more screwball when Cordovin came into the mix, but it was interesting seeing CRWBY take that humor to a logical extreme for the first time in a while (not since the Beacon years). It interrupted the tone for a bit, but not in a manner that overall changed the genre this show is going for.

Animation

Beautiful. The improved production pipeline that we’ve heard about really came through. These episodes were the best they’ve ever looked, minus a few errors here and there, showing just how amazing RWBY can look when you give the animators time to add their own touches. There was some really great fight animation to boot: none of the fights this volume felt awkward, and you could tell the animators had a lot of fun.

Worldbuilding/Storytelling

It feels weird saying that Volume 6 did a better job with worldbuilding than Volume 4, which took place on four different continents and traveled across one, and Volume 5, which took place on two different continents and featured the second major skirmish between the villains and the heroes. I think this has to do with just how well it was integrated into the story: insight into the world came at points where the story needed it and when the viewers wanted it. Nothing ever felt like a massive info dump better suited World of Remnant; where there was just too much information delivered that wasn’t relevant to what was happening in the show. Volumes 4 and 5 had this same problem with establishing the world, often telling us too much in a way that just didn’t feel natural to the story. With Volume 6, almost every chapter up until the final Argus arc included some form of that insight:

Chapter 1 showed us how ordinary civilians deal with traveling through Grimm territory––the steps they take to protect themselves

Chapter 2 showed us some aspects of the Mistral criminal underground, not telling us too much about it but suggesting it was much larger than what Cinder encountered.

Chapter 3 showed us...so many things.

Chapter 4 offered a sense of the stakes RWBY faced in relation to all of Remnant.

Chapter 5 and 6 gave us a glimpse at another form of non-city life in Remnant.

Chapter 7 introduced us to Argus, my favorite of all the Remnant cities we’ve seen; plus a glimpse into the life of the silver-eyed warriors; and a more representative depiction of what domestic life is like in Remnant

Chapter 8 told us what Atlas personnel who aren’t Ironwood or Winter are like, plus the long-awaited insight into how the silver eyes work.

Chapter 9 shows something of the effect the Battle of Beacon, and by extension Pyrrha’s death, had outside of our core group.

Things kind of teeter off with the finale arc, but that’s because worldbuilding became a little less important to what was going on. This is kind of a stretch, but the mech fight and the arrival of the Grimm in Argus give us an idea of how large non-capital cities defend themselves without just spelling everything out.

All in all, this volume delivered on some impressive worldbuilding, probably the best the series has had in a while. It wasn’t massive info dumps unless it needed to be (e.g. Chapter 3), and it offered just enough for other important things like the storytelling and the action to still be in the forefront.

Characters

Volume 5, despite the fact it involved the major reunion of Team RWBY after two volumes, felt like it was simply putting the main characters through situations without those situations really doing anything to develop them or define them as anything beyond what we already knew. Some characters fared better on the development front, namely Yang, but others, especially Ruby, just seemed to be along for the ride without us getting any insight into them. This is where the writing issue that came from separating everyone starting with Volume 4 really came to a head: too many different characters with their own story to cover, and sometimes those stories just didn’t do much for the character beyond existing as a situation they were in.

Volume 6 feels like the refutal of that, and that mostly has to do with the fact that we’re not juggling so many storylines anymore. When a major event happens to the heroes, everyone gets affected at the same time. The train crashes? DEVELOPMENT! Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT AND INSIGHT! Snowstorm? INSIGHT! The Apathy? DEVELOPMENT! Telling team JNR about Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT! Adam ambushes Blake and Yang for the first time since Volume 3? DEVELOPMENT! WITH A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF ANGST!

Surprisingly, the same thing is happening to two of our favorite villains, Mercury and Emerald: even though they only really appeared in three chapters this Volume, we actually got a surprising chance to see how their defeat at the Battle of Haven affected them, and their increasingly strong misgivings about working for Salem. We get more of an idea of them as people rather than Cinder’s blind followers, understanding why they stuck with such an evil person for so long. It’s the most we’ve learned about them since Volume 3, and we didn’t even need lengthy flashbacks.

Even Adam got some more insight. RWBY has been following the path that Adam was an abusive ex-boyfriend for quite a while now, but there was always this underlying thought that he got into the White Fang business for a seemingly noble cause. The problem was the show hadn’t depicted how he got from Point A to Point B. The Adam Character Short offered us some of that much needed insight, putting some of his actions up to this point in a new context, even if it was set-up for clearing up some things so they could get rid of him.

Of course, there are still exceptions to characters getting character development, and honestly they’re kind of glaring ones. Oscar’s development arc, where he came to accept he was his own person, completely happened offscreen (for reasons that I’ve brought up before and will reiterate in the final section), robbing us of really witnessing his growth as a person. I enjoyed some of the stuff Cinder did this volume, especially her escape from the vault and her fight with Neo. But honestly she continues to be a pretty bland villain with little hints at her motivations for being such a terrible person: the Battle of Haven was such an utter defeat for her there needed to be some form of consequence that would’ve affected her character while also telling us more about her. Maybe it would’ve been her strategizing her revenge, which would’ve gotten more insight into how she thinks as a master planner. Instead, we get her leaving the vault, more or less going back to what she used to do but in a more low-key setting, fighting with Neo, plotting with Neo, and leaving with Neo. It felt more like “Hey, she’s alive, and here’s what she’s doing,” which while I appreciate it feels kind of a waste of time if you’re not doing anything with her beyond that. Honestly, a post-credits reveal that she was alive and then a pre-Volume 7 character short detailing how she made it to Atlas that covered her and Neo’s entire storyline this volume would’ve been more helpful.

Before I go on to my most major critique of this volume, I need to address the two Goliaths in the room.

Adam

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they needed to get rid of Adam. The way things have been going, there was only so much more you could do with his character before he became a nuisance that was overstaying his welcome. I understand people wanted some deeper insight into him, but the fact was he was never introduced to be a major villain to anyone beyond Blake and later Yang. They could’ve had him have a thing against Weiss, but they didn’t, they focused the time that would’ve made him a major villain for everyone else on making people like Roman and Cinder and Salem the big villains. They decided on the path of abusive ex-boyfriend a very long time ago, and if you hadn’t figured that out after the Adam Character Short I honestly think you were being willfully ignorant to what’s been building up.

The best I can say is that Adam and his history is a missed opportunity for some pretty interesting storytelling and worldbuilding, but the fact remains: it is not his story that they want to tell, it is not his show. It may make something interesting to think about, but Adam’s story is supplementary, and works better in supplementary material, a la character shorts and maybe mangas.

Jaune

Y’all need to quit it with the “Hrrr drr Jaune took up time again moan moan Miles Luna is self indulgent” talk, he barely did anything this volume beyond Chapter 9 and having a sister that the whole fandom loved.

Pacing

This...this is where Volume 6 ran into trouble.

Overall, from the season premiere to the finale arc, this was probably the best-paced season of RWBY we’ve ever had. Major story events happened right when we needed them, and for the most part they didn’t drag out story arcs for any longer than they needed to be.

Well...until they reached Argus, that is.

At face value, a lot happened in the final couple of chapters. Chapter 8 gave us Maria explaining the silver eyes, Chapter 9 had the scene with Pyrrha’s statue and the mysterious Red-Haired Woman (I’ll headcanon whatever I want about who she is, Jen Brown) Chapter 10 started the Cordovin fight, Chapter 11 reinforced Blake and Yang’s partnership, Chapter 12 killed Adam, and Chapter 13 had Ruby finally use her silver eye powers to defeat a Grimm and they made it to Atlas. Yeah, it was a pretty eventful set of episodes.

So then why did it feel like it dragged? Here are a couple reasons that I’ve identified.

1. The Cordovin Battle sidelined story arcs for too long

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: the finale arc should not have been split up like that over so many episodes. It afforded us some pretty well-animated fights, some of the best the series has ever had, but the volume hadn’t been relying on that action to keep up the forward momentum, but on actually telling the stories of these characters. I get the need for CRWBY to prove that they can do well-animated fights, but as I’ve come to accept action should never take precedence over storytelling (I know, that’s hard to swallow when parts of the fndm spends hours complaining about how Monty’s not animating the fights anymore). And it’s clear to me in this final arc put emphasis on the action over the momentum of the story, bringing the actually pretty good storytelling the volume had had up to that point to a grinding halt.

Now, historically RWBY fights have delayed telling stories, but it’s never been for too long, at most maybe two chapters? But if you spend three chapters on a single fight, thereby devoting three weeks of your viewers’ time to high-octane action, people are gonna notice that the story is basically going nowhere.

What could’ve made this less of a problem? Well, perhaps establishing Cordovin earlier and making her less of a buffoon would’ve eased my hatred of this arc. Volume 6 lacks a clear antagonist for the story, but the way Cordovin was treated as a big deal in this final battle made it seem like she was taking up that role, except we didn’t even see her until the final half of the volume, and in her debut we couldn’t take her seriously as a villain, much less an antagonist, because of the pure comedy they used in her intro. There needed to be something about her at least a few episodes early––take this with a grain of salt because I think following JNR in Argus would’ve killed the balanced pacing of the first half of the volume (and just made the Jaune haters apoplectic), but maybe a few quick scenes of JNR arriving in Argus and getting rejected by her would’ve been helpful. Or honestly easing off on the comedy of her intro. Such a one-note character who we are primed to not take seriously isn’t interesting as a major force, so identifying her as a more threatening roadblock for the heroes would’ve made the stakes of the final fight a little more...present.

2. Important storylines got trimmed for time’s sake and weren’t addressed properly.

@hypeathon (whose excellent production analyses for this Volume are well worth a read) identified a tweet Miles made back in October, prior to the premiere and most likely when they were finishing storyboards, about “killing your darlings.” For those unaware and who may have severely misinterpreted that comment, “killing your darlings” is when writers have to sacrifice something they love or want to do so that the story works better. The timeliness of this tweet (after they would’ve finished the script but before they’d wrapped on storyboards and voice acting for the final episodes) suggests the writers’ room had to cut a lot of material from Volume 6 (what Miles called a massacre of darlings), most likely due to production limits or not having enough time to cover them.

Think about it: the story from Chapters 1-7 was really good: everything was properly spaced out, the scripts felt polished, there was a balance of action and comedy and legit storytelling, the good pacing lasted longer than it ever has within a single volume.

Then we hit Chapter 8 and suddenly it all changes: storylines don’t get the proper time devoted to them, arcs come to a screeching halt due to the big fight. Unlike previous volumes, where the imbalance was pretty much the entire volume, there’s actually a clear point right in the middle of this volume where things suddenly took a turn for the worse. And the fact is, some of the problems with the story in the final arc suddenly make more sense if you accept that time that would’ve been devoted to it got sidelined in this “purge”: Qrow’s alcoholism suddenly getting brushed aside after Chapter 9 hopefully to be addressed next volume, Oscar disappearing and all his development happening offscreen, Adam’s completely unsubtle return after only a vague hint in Chapter 1 that would’ve been stronger if he’d kept popping up in Argus. I’d even go so far to say the odd pacing of the final few chapters could easily have been the result of the writing team not being able to devote a single chapter to such a grand fight, so they needed to stretch it out so CRWBY could actually animate it within reasonable deadlines, which meant sacrificing time for those arcs that so desperately needed development.

So what overall is gonna fix RWBY’s pacing in the future? Well, I think at the moment the show is too ambitious. If it wants to keep to a reasonable production schedule, they need to control the scale of their finales so that it can be completed without needing to sacrifice other storylines. If it wants to hold onto that ambition and make the finales as grand as they want it to be to do their boy Monty proud, then they absolutely need to delay the actual release of the volume so they can put in the proper amount of time to both the story and animation. And I don’t think anyone would mind waiting a little longer for Volume 7 if it meant this show got the care and attention it needs to tell the story it clearly wants to tell.

Conclusions

Evaluating Volume 6 is impossible without evaluating what came before it. RWBY was never a perfect show, but when you lose someone who was responsible for the show’s popularity in the first place and have to change how it’s made to make up for his absence, there’s going to be backlash. Backlash from the fans, and, uh, backlash from inside the company. The fact is, people are never going to be satisfied with the RWBY that Rooster Teeth makes today, and Rooster Teeth is never going to push out a RWBY that will make everyone happy. All they can really do is keep moving forward.

And move forward they did. Despite my problems with the finale, Volume 6 was good. I’ve always been sort of ambivalent about the show (I was drawn to it by my brother shortly before Monty’s death and have been watching it out of respect for him and the company as creative artists), and even if I thought some of RWBY’s critics were being too harsh (or seriously needed to find something better to do), I didn’t find Volumes 4 and 5 enjoyable enough that I felt like defending them. But guys, Volume 6 did something amazing: it made RWBY fun to watch again. Focused, consistent, and compelling storytelling plus gradually eased-in worldbuilding made for a story that I could follow along without having to juggle so many different plots. Improvements in the overall animation made things nice to look at and when fights happened they were always entertaining, never making me cringe or grimace, always making me think “Hell yeah, beat the shit out of them!” Just like I felt back in the old days of the show.

I feel as though what’s holding RWBY back at this point, however, is adhering to the production schedule that its old vision called for in making its current vision. And it honestly cannot keep doing that. RWBY is a show trying to reach grand heights, and its rushed production timelines and lost story arcs are keeping it tethered to the ground. Yet I can’t help but say: Volume 6 is RWBY at its finest so far. It can’t fix the problems that previous volumes have had, but it builds on the void those problems left to build a story that makes this show feel like something worth following once more.

So, I can safely say I’ll be following along when RWBY returns for Volume 7...hopefully later rather than sooner (again, it needs a better production schedule).

#rwby #rwby6 #reviewby #crtq

13 notes · View notes

wildfangz · 5 years

Photo

@liliithvatore tagged me in that simself thing thats been goin around DAYS ago but here it finally is! also thank you for the tag this was fun :-]

I tag @slythersim @thelurgoyf @seoulchii @weicyn @solitasims @daisydezem @raha-plays-the-sims if they want to do it & anyone that just wants to do it in general! message me and I’ll even @ u directly if u want.

anyway lets DO THIS shitload of questions under the cut u’ve been warned!!!

1. what is your name?

julian

2. what is your nickname?

jewel, jules

3. birthday?

oct 26th

4. what is your favorite book series?

percy jackson and the olympians will probably always own my heart & soul

5. do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

yes & yes. tho i do think a lot of alien sightings and conspiracy theories and what not are bullshit

6. who is your favorite author?

maggie stiefvater probably? also cornelia funke but its been years since ive read anything by her so i cant be sure BUT i loved inkheart & the thief lord so much

7. what is your favorite radio station?

ummm when i listen to the radio at all i kinda just switch between two rock stations and our popular music station.

8. what is your favorite flavor of anything?

blue raspberry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tasty and i love a blue tongue

9. what word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful?

cool. or bitchin’. i play it simple

10. what is your current favorite song?

hands like houses - revive

11. what is your favorite word?

roulette and inhibition which i never get to use either as much as i want !

12. what was the last song you listened to?

emarosa - givin’ up ! its a bop!

13. what tv show would you recommend for everybody to watch?

the new she-ra on netflix its so good. and gay

14. what is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?

moana. its also like the only movie i dont have trouble getting thru despite how many times ive already seen it

15. do you play video games?

16. what is your biggest fear?

idk... being inherently unlovable i guess n ending up alone? also spiders !

17. what is your best quality, in your opinion?

im fairly open-minded and laid back. Unless someones being like, purposely nasty or something I generally don’t get defensive or aggressive. also a lot of little quirks that piss others off dont bother me im very u do u as long as its not actually harming anyone and ive had people tell me this makes it easier to open up to me so thats probably my best quality....

18. what is your worst quality, in your opinion?

....at the same time though i do get very sensitive when faced w/ criticism even if its of the fair variety when its not phrased really gently for various reasons and i dont like that. especially since I have a tendency to not even talk to people about it. I’ll just immediately start distancing myself. also other than that i think overall I have a really high tolerance lvl but if you cross that line I hold a grudge like a motherfucker

9. do you like cats or dogs better?

cats! dogs are good too but cats are a lot easier for me to handle...and quieter generally but even when they’re loud cat sounds dont get to me quite as much as barks do

20. what is your favorite season?

autumn but im starting to really like summer for some reason? wack :/

21. are you in a relationship?

nope

22. what is something you miss from your childhood?

the lack of responsibility, probably. that sounds real bad lmao but for me its like...I know I’ve grown in various ways over the years but I also feel like so many of my experiences, my trauma, my mental health has held me back and I don’t think I’m mentally where I should be for my age. so all the responsibility of adulthood is just..really overwhelming for me sometimes, even though ive been given a pass from certain aspects of it and the rest is pretty simple its the idea!!!!

23. who is your best friend?

my ex

24. what is your eye color?

25. what is your hair color?

26. who is someone you love?

my mom

27. who is someone you trust?

not really anyone rn unfortunately...would like 2 work on that

28. who is someone you think about often?

are my OCs a fair answer because i am always thinking about my babies.....

29. are you currently excited about/for something?

my favorite webcomic (that also has two of my all time favorite characters in it) just came back!! the artist disappeared back in 2015 like the day after I binge-read the whole fucking thing & i was so disappointed but its BACK and 2018 has been redeemed

30. what is your biggest obsession?

sims probably! i could talk about anything relating to it for hours

31. what was your favorite tv show as a child?

there were so damn many its hard to even think and figure out the most notable ones...i really, really liked teen titans though?

32. who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone?

my ex, again

33. are you superstitious?

not terribly so but somewhat. I take certain things as signs and I mean I do believe in astrology & such to a degree

34. do you have any unusual phobias?

i used to be afraid of mirrors but thats all i can think of and its not even a thing anymore...the only other thing is tornadoes but i dont think its unusual. but it definitely sucks for me ‘cause i live in tornado alley!

35. do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?

behind it....like taking pretty pictures and dont like ppl capturing my image 2 film

36. what is your favorite hobby?

sims.....also singing!!! and drawing!!!! video editing!!!!!!!!! the works

37. what was the last book you read?

The Dream Thieves....havent finished it though because last time i went to read it a spider was lying in wait and im traumatized

38. what was the last movie you watched?

coco i think???

39. what musical instruments do you play, if any?

drums, various other percussion instruments, and violin mainly

40. what is your favorite animal?

ferrets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. what are your top 5 favorite tumblr blogs that you follow?

uhhhhh @bratsims @liliithvatore @cabsim @wildlyminiaturesandwich @keysims pls dont feel bad if i didnt include u these were just the first to pop into my head and ive been following some of them since I first made my blog!! and have kept up with their stories completely and enjoy them etc check them OUT !

42. what superpower do you wish you had?

shapeshifting!!! dysphoria? gone. ugliness? gone. want to morph into a fucked up clown and scare people when they realize all the classic clown features are a real actual part of my face? possible!

43. when and where do you feel most at peace?

chillin’ at the pool in summer during the part of the day when no ones there.... swimming is always relaxing 2 me then i love just resting under the sun and drying off afterwards especially since we have a little pond nearby and i can hear the water! its nice

44. what makes you smile?

always and without fail? interacting with anyone i have a crush on. i’ll look like a dope the whole time

45. what sports do you play, if any?

i used 2 play basketball a lot. Like not seriously but it was a thing

46. what is your favorite drink?

dr pepper and monster energy (original flavor) pumps through my veins at this point. we love a carbonated beverage

47. when was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody?

two years ago for my ex and I’s first year anniversary... I never got it mailed but I did at least take a picture of it (with included caption because my handwriting is atrocious). i was very up front about being a romantic and see heres the PROOF

48. are you afraid of heights?

nope! very excited by them actually

49. what is your biggest pet peeve?

i cant stand passive aggressive behavior. my stance is either get over it or quit acting like a bitch because otherwise im just going to ignore you thats the scorpio way (in all seriousness I really, really do recommend not putting up with it and ignoring it until they decide to be up front with you. it can be exhausting constantly reading into conversations and its not healthy for you or them. if they have something to say they need to learn to talk about it properly, and that lack of social skills is not ever on you)

50. have you ever been to a concert?

yep! i think about....six or so? i love them...which is really funny im autistic and EVERYTHING about them should freak me out and they do in other circumstances but at a show i just live for it

51. are you vegan/vegetarian?

nope! ive thought before id like to go vegetarian...but i couldnt do it with my health problems. also i love shrimp too much

52. when you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?

ive always wanted to do something creative! when i was rlly young I thought a lot about singing and acting and writing in particular...all things im still interested in.... also i wanted to be a dictator ages 4-7 because i told my mom i wanted to be president of the world and make people do what i say and she said “honey thats a dictator not a president”. i then made that known at school and that turned into a situation!

53. what fictional world would you like to live in?

pokemon universe or bust.

54. what is something you worry about?

never being able to do things i want to do or catching up with others because of my disabilities

55. are you scared of the dark?

yes but a reasonable amount i think

56. do you like to sing?

yes :]

57. have you ever skipped school?

yes i used to play sick a LOT and as my parents caught onto it id even go all out to convince them. i was good at school but i hated it so much

58. what is your favorite place on the planet?

dunno! malls maybe i love shopping and looking at material objects i wish to own

59. where would you like to live?

oregon! portland in particular thats been my dream for a few years now

60. do you have any pets?

a cat! he lives with my dad & grandma though...hes grown up there and likes going outside so I felt bad about taking him with me when i moved out but anyway this is him hes fat and stupid and i love him his name is coffee

61. are you more of an early bird or a night owl?

night owl because my rhythm is all fucked up but in my heart....an early bird...if i get a good nights sleep i’ll be up early yacking your ear off and so excited for the day

62. do you like sunrises or sunsets better?

sunsets are prettier...but sunrises feel more refreshing

63. do you know how to drive?

nope ! im gay !

64. do you prefer earbuds or headphones?

headphones. better sound quality also discourages people from talking to me slightly more

65. have you ever had braces?

nope! but i need them

66. what is your favorite genre of music?

post-hardcore maybe?

67. who is your hero?

every trans person living their truth and being open and loud about who they are past present & future. the worlds not particularly kind to us and our existence alone is considered a radical act, so its always given me hope to see others refusing to pretend to be someone they’re not in this environment and I’ll always have mad respect for that

68. do you read comic books?

i read manga and webcomics...ive always wanted to get into superhero comics but the amount of issues and different versions is ridiculous and makes it inaccessible 2 me

69. what makes you the most angry?

i mean its hard to pinpoint what makes me angry the MOST...but a contender is definitely how some people feel free to treat others with cruelty and think its their god given right to deny or attack someones existence in some way, & how acts of kindness, even the most basic are branded as liberal bullshit or whatever....it goes against everything i was taught growing up

70. do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book?

real book! electronic device can be easier but....rough on the eyes after a while and nothing beats the real thing for me

71. what was your favorite subject in school?

language arts...at least when we did creative writing stuff

72. do you have any siblings?

two older sisters & an older brother that passed away years ago but. still my brother u kno

73. what was the last thing you bought?

mocha frappe baby!!!!!

74. how tall are you?

5′4″

75. can you cook?

a little bit....not as much as id like to though but im learning

76. what are three things that you love?

storms, cheesy breadsticks, and cat purrs

77. what are three things that you hate?

unnecessary rudeness, being talked down to or generally treated like im stupid, grapefruit which is the worst thing on this list

78. do you have more female friends or more male friends?

female i think?

79. what is your sexual orientation?

im the big bad promiscuous bisexual your parents warned you about

80. where do you currently live?

oklahoma. gofundme campaign to get me out

81. who was the last person you texted?

my friend jojo! just Now!

82. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday afternoon but im a changed man now thats behind me. i will cry about different things soon

83. who is your favorite youtuber?

the mcelroy brothers. also super best friends play. matt, pat & woolie are all great tbh

84. do you like to take selfies?

depends on whether i feel ugly or terribly dysphoric that day or not

85. what is your favorite app?

ummmm....love live school idol festival ive been playin for years its an addiction

86. what is your relationship with your parent(s) like?

dad = bad mom = okay. theres some issues that strain it but its not too bad

87. what is your favorite foreign accent?

i have no idea what the fuck australians are talking about half the time but i dig it anyway

88. what is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit?

Italy, Greece, Germany, Japan, Mexico, various other states (ive only been out of state three times. twice to texas and then once to kansas. for five minutes)

89. what is your favorite number?

6!! 26 also

90. can you juggle?

ive always wanted to but alas.... :-[

91. are you religious?

i suppose...but im rlly not into organized religion

92. do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting?

space probably theres so fucking much of it man!

93. do you consider yourself to be a daredevil?

not to brag but sometimes i eat my mcdonalds hamburgers cold from the fridge so you can figure that one out yourself B)

94. are you allergic to anything?

pecans. not deathly allergic though so catch me eating turtle pie anyway!

95. can you curl your tongue?

nope :[

96. can you wiggle your ears?

nope :[

97. how often do you admit that you were wrong about something?

usually as soon as i realize....unless someones being real smug and annoying then i might be stubborn about it

98. do you prefer the forest or the beach?

ive never been to the beach but i love her!!!

99. what is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you?

probably that you have to look at your accomplishments differently when you’re disabled or just struggling, to not be so down on yourself because its a fact that what might be a mole hill to someone else is a mountain to you and you have to judge yourself accordingly. Like maybe you weren’t able to clean the whole house, but washing the dishes and tidying your desk doesn’t usually get done but you did it. That that should be celebrated because while it would also feel good if you did more, you still did something and thats great all things considered.

100. are you a good liar?

sometimes, really depends what im lying about and if im like....into it at all. If my guts against it for whatever reason I’ll have trouble

101. what is your hogwarts house?

i always get slytherin or hufflepuff! usually with like 1 point difference

102. do you talk to yourself?

i am talking to myself right now as i fill this out

103. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

extrovert mainly! i used to think i was more introverted but now i think a lot of exhaustion when theres any comes from me just going the extra mile and actively trying to read people and pick up on social ques.... if I just chill im fine

104. do you keep a journal/diary?

nope...ive tried but i just cant keep up with it so i do the next best thing. shouting into the void on the internet to a bunch of strangers

105. do you believe in second chances?

depends on what you did the first time. Some people just don’t deserve taking that risk imo...but i can be a little guarded so maybe thats a bit too harsh

106. if you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?

turn it in, unless there was no identifying things in it & it was found somewhere kinda random. Then I’d maybe hold onto it unless my gut challenged that

107. do you believe that people are capable of change?

absolutely. i mean thats all we do throughout our lives is change and evolve...that being said I think extremely drastic changes are maybe not entirely impossible, but extremely rare, and the residue of the former self usually sticks around in some form

108. are you ticklish?

yes, dangerously so

109. have you ever been on a plane?

nope

110. do you have any piercings?

one day hopefully!

111. what fictional character do you wish was real?

asra from the arcana.....even if he wasn’t my boyfriend thats just a dude u could chill and eat some pomegranates with u know. Before I downloaded the app my friends kept telling me he was made for me and he really was he ticks like everything on my Favorite Characters Feature List except villain but he has that particular allure & attitude i like so much in villains so thats not a single point off hes perfect

112. do you have any tattoos?

nope...one day! hopefully!

113. what is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far?

accepting my genderqueerness and bisexuality definitely. Self Love hasn’t been perfected just yet but that was such a huge step in the right direction

114. do you believe in karma?

yes! she doesn’t get shit done as much as id like however

115. do you wear glasses or contacts?

glasses. not contacts yet because my eye doctor is a bitch

116. do you want children?

I do....just not sure if id be a good parent. Its really important to me if I had a child itd be for the right reason and I could raise them well in a healthy environment & be able to take care of all their needs yknow

117. who is the smartest person you know?

probably my friend jojo

118. what is your most embarrassing memory?

one time i looked outside and the sunset was really pretty and i wanted to get a photo of it so i walked out.....and stood like right by the street so there weren’t trees in my way...and then i realized mid-pic 1) i am not wearing pants & my shirt is full of holes 2) id been depressed for days so my hair was a tangled mess. I tailed it back inside so i didnt even get a nice pic it was blurry!

119. have you ever pulled an all-nighter?

120. what colour are most of you clothes?

black i didnt even have to think about that one

121. do you like adventures?

they are pretty swell

122. have you ever been on tv?

a few times when i was little. always photobombing the news reporters 4 what i thought would eventually lead 2 fame & fortune

123. how old are you?

124. what is your favorite movie quote?

this is technically lyrics to that lil song in moana at the end but

“ They have stolen the heart from inside you. But this does not define you.”

hits me hard every time! emotional impact? i know her

125. sweet or savory?

sweet!!!!!!!! gotta balance out my bitter somehow

#tag meme #about #srry if theres any weird grammar or spelling going on half of this was written when i had a monster headache #and was doing everything but laying down!!!!

12 notes · View notes

fredenglish · 5 years

Photo

Hello, #FeatureFriday friends! It’s been a while, but we’re back for an interview with Iclal Vanwesenbeeck: English professor, translator, and world traveler! We talked to her about her time with the department, how her experiences around the world have affected her, and the study abroad program to Iceland that she’s gearing up for. (Admissions are still open!)

1) What do you think the most rewarding part of your time as a professor at SUNY Fredonia has been?

My students. I’ve gotten to know so many beautiful minds. I’ve had the privilege of mentoring students. That’s been the most rewarding part of my life teaching here or anywhere. And I think they have helped me as much as I’ve helped them!

I have a sense of what I want to teach that semester but it just so happens that the minute you step foot in the classroom, and you see in front of you people with emotions and thoughts and hopes and ideas, you have to be open-minded and compassionate. And I think in some ways I find my teaching rewarding because I never compromise that. I was always someone who took an interest in students’ wellbeing, who was curious about what they thought, and never tyrannical about “Oh, I’m going to teach you this!” And now, ten years, twelve years later, I still have students who contact me, drive up to have coffee with me, invite me to their weddings. I’m happy!

2) Which of the courses that you have taught do you think students connected the most with? Which do you think you connect the most with?

My favorite subjects to teach are war and love. And I have to say, even though I sometimes hesitate teaching it, love and war in the context of Middle Eastern literature has been an intriguing experience for me as much as it has been for the students. I’ve done some interesting work where, for example, I had US veterans, US veteran writers visit my class. And we read about the Iraq War from the perspective of Iraqis, refugees. And I have to say, in the classes I teach, I have students that have those eureka moments, but never so much as in Middle Eastern lit. Because it’s a generational thing, they’ve grown up with an image of the Middle East. They’ve heard about the Iraq War, they have family members who have fought or deployed. And it’s been a part of their lives. But for some reason I think, for more than half of my students, that hadn’t been rendered visible. Just how much the Middle East has been a part of their lives, in the post-Cold War era.

So, to render that, to make that appear to students and to ask them to echo an ongoing discourse, and invite them to be a part of the dialogue? That has been intriguing for me. And I applied some of what I do in love, romance literature, and taught exclusively love stories from Middle Eastern lit in order to de-center this idea that Middle Eastern people don’t love, don’t laugh.

That’s a very wordy way of saying: war and love. War stories and love stories.

3) What advice do you have for prospective and/or current English students?

Let’s see… [Pause] I’m not good at giving advice! But I would say to be open minded. Everyone already has something they want to study and yet I see college as an opportunity to also reach out to distant shores. So maybe learn a new language, maybe they want to study literature at Oxford for a year. Aim high, and be idealistic.

4) A big potion of your work as an academic revolves around the translation of historical works. What do you think brought you to have such an interest in translation?

Oh, thank you for that question! Um, personal reasons. And curiosity. And also, my belief in peace, and peacemaking. The reason why I translate the works of some of the American veteran writers, for example, is because I want them to be read in other languages, I want their stories to be told in other languages. Because we need that polyphony to understand war. And it is, I believe, only possible through translation otherwise you have that barrier, since you can’t be face-to-face all the time with everybody who has experienced war. Those stories have to migrate. And I don’t think there’s any other way besides translation.

As I migrate between languages and I travel, sometimes I feel homesick for my native tongue. And that makes me want to sit down and translate, to use that vocabulary. Sometimes I just spend an hour looking through a dictionary, just to see if I will catch a word that I would like to remember. That is important in life, and… [Pause] it helps me.

5) You’ve travelled quite a bit throughout your life. How do you think your experience of travel has affected you as both a person and as an academic?

I was born in Turkey, and I was raised in Turkey. And I came to the US for my graduate degree program. And I stayed here. And in the meantime, yes, I travel often. And it so happens that my life is an intersection of three cultures and three countries and three languages: Belgium, Turkey, and the United States.

So being in Belgium, or in Ghana, or in Russia or in Iceland… I don’t see those countries as entities with borders that then determine how I should act or interact with people. When I travel, I like connecting with people and landscapes. That’s what I’m interested in the most when I travel.

But I also want to refer back to a Renaissance philosopher that I adore, Montaigne. Something he wrote, has always stuck with me: “The very act of rubbing your head against the head of others.” That you become wise as you travel. I’ve seen in the past that that is not true for all people; in fact, a critical mass of people that I see when I travel are only interested in living somebody else’s Instagram page. They want the same pictures, the same selfies, the same food.

But for me? It has almost become a lifestyle. And I don’t see how I could give it up.

6) You’re the faculty leader of the Iceland study program. What is it about Iceland that you think makes it such a good location to study abroad?

Iceland is a sub-arctic island. It is quite remote from many locations. It is a country of 350,000 people, most people live around the capital city, so the island is not homogeneously populated. To me, it is a country that brings together modernity and tradition. In terms of landscape, it brings together extreme urban architecture and beautiful pastoral scenery. On one hand, it has these most progressive laws towards the LGBT+ community and pay equality. On the other hand, it has a committee for baby names. Certain names aren’t allowed for babies. It’s a country that doesn’t have, from what I can say from my own research, a single stolen item in their museums. Not a single item that’s been questionably curated or smuggled. And in terms of problem-solving, and democracy, and lifestyles, it is a country that can help students do comparative analyses.

In terms of environmental issues, in terms of equality, we have, I think, a subset of global issues that we face. If you go to Bangladesh, you will see them dealing with water pollution. In Flint, Michigan, they deal with water pollution. So we have a subset of global issues anyway. But everybody seems to find different solutions to these problems. And it seems to me that Iceland, maybe because they are a small country, maybe because of the way that their democracy and politics work, maybe because of the culture, their decision making and their problem-solving may help students analyze their own. It’s for that reason that I think that Iceland is a near-perfect place for the students to go to tackle the issues that they have studied in the classroom, and heard about for all of their young adult lives.

One example: my generation did not read about glaciers in the newspaper every two days. Your generation, almost every week there is news about glaciers. They’ve become a part of our political and environmental issues. And we have a glacier hike on the Iceland trip for students — with very responsible behavior [towards environmental impact] — to see the glacier, and understand their life cycle, and what they mean for the planet, and understand that when glaciers melt in the Arctic, we feel it in the Mediterranean. Our world, as Jacques Cousteau said: “Everything is connected.” To get these insights, you have to travel. You have to develop perspective.

For aesthetic reasons, too, Iceland is a special place to study. It’s a breathtaking country. Arresting scenery. Captivating. If you have a poet or a painter in you, it comes out in Iceland. You cannot be indifferent to the Icelandic landscape. And every time we go, from the moment we get on the airport bus, to the second we depart, students are captivated.

7) Finally: what would you say is the most important lesson that literature can teach us?

[Long pause] It hasn’t taught me any lessons. Because, then we have to see literature as almost being didactic all the time. I had questions. And literature has helped me understand my own questions and listen to how others have asked similar questions. You may not feel like you need to read in your twenties, but I bet in your fifties you will feel that urge to read. For anybody who wants to understand existence, it’s there for you. It takes away your loneliness. It hears your questions, and it gives you more questions. For anybody who wants to understand existence, it’s there for you.

[This interview has been edited and condensed for length, with input from the subject]

#featurefriday #iceland #suny fredonia #translation #turkey #edited

1 note · View note

osakishinya · 6 years

Text

My Experience At Monsta X Concert

@last-dance-anywhere-but-here id like for you to read my experience bc i need to express my feelings i cant hold in my heart ^^

I was so nervous when i got to the theatre. My brother who went with me was trying to calm me down lol. I knew that we had tickets to go meet and high five them but I was scared that I was going to make the same mistake again and not get to meet them. *** Short Story last year: I bought tickets last year thinking that it was where the high touch area was at. But dumb me didnt check the seating chart correct and ended up at the very back of the theatre, meaning that i didnt get VIP seats and so no high touch. I was very upset. *** When I went to the front desk to ask them I was sssooo anxious and nervous. I didnt want to feel the same disappointment as i did last year when they told me that i didnt get the right tickets to meet them. As I waited anxiously for their reply, my heart almost stopped right then and there when the lady said, "So you are in the VIP section so you do get to join in the high touch."

Was I finally going to meet them in person?? Is this a dream?? Dont tell me wrong plz! Am I really going to meet Monsta X? The group that stole my heart?? The same group that always has me on my toes?? The very same group that taught me how to smile, how to laugh and how to love again?? My heart adn my brain can barely process it all. Standing in line for 3 hrs wasnt too bad....but why did it feel like forever?? Maybe bc I was too excited and anxious to see them. As I looked at the lanyard around my neck that said "VIP" I smiled and felt some weight lifted off my shoulders. I did it right this time around. I was finally going to see them face to face. I told my brother I wasnt going to cry this time bc i already kind of saw them already. (even tho the tickets i bought last year was all the way in the back!!)

*Fast Foreword* When we finally got to our seats, I was ssssoooo happy where we were seating. They were perfect! Right in the middle on the second row. My hands were shaking so bad bc i was so excited. Maybe too exited that I started literally hypevenilating. I was finally going to see them perform live at this close of a distance!

You know, ive always watched them from a distance. always watching their music videos and their live stages on youtube or on TV. I've always wondered if i would ever meet them in person. I told my mom at one point that if i meet them in person at least once in my life, my life will finally be complete. Why you ask?? They're just some boy group. No, they're not just any boy group. They're my happiness that I thought I gave up on. They helped me pick up the broken pieces of my heart that was shattered. They mean the world to me.

As soon as the music started and they rose from the stage, I swear time froze right there. Am I really seeing this?? Where they really in front of me?? Is this a dream?? Without realizing it, my vision was starting to get blurry. Am I really crying?? AGAIN?? I thought to myself, that I have to hold it in bc i didnt want to meet them with swollen red eyes, plus ruin my makeup i nthe process! Damn I knew I shouldve wore waterproof eyeliner! lol As they performed, all i could think was, wow.....they are real people living in the same time frame as me. And I finally get to watch them perform my favorite songs ive been listening to forever. Seeing Wonho just a few feet away from me was like a dream. His smile, his laugh, his silliness, all real. He's the very reason I can love again. His love for his fans, his love for his members, his love for music. That's the reason I can feel love again. Overall, they were all amazing!! They exceedingly performed very well!! It was the best performance yet!! As the stage was coming to and end, I felt like time went by too fast. I didnt want it to end. Ending it felt like the ending of our time together. The ending of my dream. Am I about to cry again?? Stop!! When it did end, we waited until it was time to go backstage to finally meet them. And oh man was my heart about to burst out of my body!

We went and stood in a single file line to go meet them. As the line was getting shorter and closer to them my breathing starting shortening. I couldnt breathe at all!! I turned to my brother to help me control my breathing. Im really going to meet them! Can I really do this without screwing anything up? Or fainting in front of them?? Im so nervous!! When it was finally my turn, Hyungwon was the first I saw. As I walked towards him and touched his hands, time literally froze right there when our eyes met. He was sssoooo ethereal that I swear there was light shining behind him at how handsome, how beautiful, how elegant he looked. He gave me the sweetest smile and said, "Nice to meet you, thank you!" My heart stopped right there. At that point I realized something.....no way, I think Im in love again. (im sorry Wonho!)

Though i wanted to stay longer with hyungwon, of course I had to move on. And so next was jooheon, he was sssooo super cute and adorable!! I finally got to see those cute dimples in person! Thought I wanted to touch his cheeks so bad I had to continue to move on! I.m was very handsome!! I mean he looked really good!! 3 years difference is ok right?? Im not that old! lol Kihyun was definately the highlight of my life. Not only cute but handsome and very friendly! I could tell he really loves his fans. His interactions with me and his fans was wonderful!

Then finally, next was my Won & Only. Wonho. The man I fell in love with. The reason for my life to be brighter again. The reason I can love again. As I touched his soft hands that felt like silk, I wanted to say something to him but I froze right there. Stupid me couldnt say anything!! I have so many things i wanted to say to him but there was just too little time. And so I quickly whispered a "I love you" to him. I think he didnt hear me bc i said it too quiet as he just smiled and nodded. Even though there are language barriers and even though he might've not heard or understand the words that came from my lips, the point is......i got to tell the man of my dreams that i love him. And Im content with that.

Shownu was next and i gotta say....he was FINE as HELL!! damn like when he performed on stage, i knew he was a really good at dancing but seeing him live made me realize that he really got some MOVES. He is just ssooo sexy and such a manly man! Now i understnd why fans call him a bear, a cute, cuddly, and manly bear that i wanna squeeze! Last but not least was Minhyuk. He was sssooo super adorable and his cute smile just made him even more adorable!! He made me feel so squishy and fluffy inside!! Omgsh i really just wanted to hug him so bad bc of how cute he was!

Without realizing it, my night was coming to an end. It felt so fast, too fast as i was leaving the building. Even though I saw them for just those few seconds, it wasnt enough. I didnt want to turn and look at the building bc i knew that if i did, i might run back in just to see them one more time. I wanna tell every single one of them that I love them all. So we headed back to the hotel, when i got to the hotel i walked towards the window and looked at the theatre from below. (we were at the very top floor BTW!). The sky was dark and the stars were already shining despite some clouds still roaming around bc it was going to rain. I reached up and touched the cold glass with my hands as I looked out the window. I sighed a breath and said aloud, "Im going to miss all of you....."

It was finally the next day to go home. As we packed our things in the car and started driving, I turned and watched the theatre disappear from a distance. Then the overflowing tears that Ive been holding this whole time came down like a waterfall. I couldnt stop myself. Even though i know its not the last time im going to see them but why does it feel like it is?? What is this pain i am feeling in my chest?? Why cant i stop the tears from flowing?? I dont like this feeling of pain at all. It really feels like a long distance relationship that's coming to an end. Why am I crying so much? I miss them that much even though it was just a short meeting?? Or Is it because im finally going back to my reality and I dont want to wake up from this euphoria? Maybe this is what missing someone really feels like. Maybe this is what love really feels like. With the short about of time of meeting them, it feels like you've known them your whole life. All i know was that, no words can describe what i just experienced. My love for them will continue on forever. I dont know if ill ever grow out from this, but right now just let me enjoy this moment just a little bit longer. Thank you Monsta X for everything. I love you.

#monsta x #wonho #hyungwon #minhyuk #shownu #jooheon #i.m #changhyun #kihyun #monsta x concert #monsta x chicago #my experience

6 notes · View notes

not-close-to-straight · 6 years

Text

Black Panther Review!

SO For the first time since my surgery I put my contacts in and did my hair and my makeup and wore Real Clothes instead of yoga pants to get out and FINALLY see Black Panther and it was totally worth how many times I had to re do my eyeliner (four, because I suck at make up and have worn it a grand total of ten times in my life) AND it was totally worth the freezing cold theater and even though I had a massive migraine, I refused to let it bug me.

So here we go. A list of everything I loved about the characters, favorite lines, maybe a little of my thoughts on the scenes.

Heads up for spoilers below the cut!

First of all, just a heads up, every person in the movie was beautiful. Every single one of them. My poor worthless pansexual heart was DYING over it all.

(Oh also, very quickly-- there was a new Coke ad before the movie where they very clearly mentioned Non Binary people (them) and LGBT (lesbians) in their montage of people who Coke was for and it was honestly lovely.)

The movie takes place a WEEK after T’Chaka dies in Vienne in CACW, so literally just a day or two after Tony is left in Siberia to die and it just brought up all these Post-CACW feels for me and also like... Tchalla you poor thing, this has been a hell of a week for you, omg.

Chadwick Boseman/T Challa opened his mouth to speak and I almost melted through the floor. His accent is gorgeous and the words are so smooth its almost a little difficult to understand but so so beautiful.

The way T’Challa looks at Nakia with these amazing puppy dog eyes. He loves her so much, looks at her as if she is his whole world and even though he asks her to stay with him, he respects her enough to not push the issue when she says there is other things she needs/wants to do.

The Queen Mother! Angela Basset in all her glory! I love her and her endless beauty, may she reign forever.

SHURI! You guys SHURI was the cutest fucking thing Ive ever seen in my life! Everything about her was equal parts bratty little sister making sure her newly crowned brother doesnt get cocky, and loyal Wakandan determined to use every bit of her genius to save her country and I love her?!

Also MORE GROSS to you guys who want to ship her with anyone. She is just so obviously a child in this. Yes, a teenager, but still a child, right down to the pranks she pulls and the way she dresses (minus her ceremonial clothing which was pretty enough to make me need some of my own) she is just a baby, stop trying to over sexualize her and ship her with older men. (or anyone for that matter. Let her be sixteen and giggly and adorable for as long as she can be).

OKOYE. Where do I even start with this woman? First of all, she was bald (as were the rest of the dora milaje) and this is sort of a big thing for black women. Because there is a whole toxic idea of black women not being able to grow hair, or being bald as if its a bad thing, and I LOVE so much the scene in Korea where they are in disguise and she has to wear a wig and says “This is a DISGRACE” because for her to have to cover her head, her tattoos that show her culture and her status is an insult to her very person, and I love that she is angry about it. That to fit in to a white mans world, to be acceptable, she must change/cover up something fundamental to her identity, and she is ANGRY about it and I love it.

I also love that she was allowed to be angry. Black people in general are already seen as “angry”, as the aggressors, and women are taught to hide it away as if its shameful to feel anything in the extreme, but ESPECIALLY anger because then we are just “another bitter black woman” and it is so important that she and the others are allowed to be ANGRY, visibly and audibly angry at what happens (for example, when one of their own dies.). Its raw and honest, and in its honesty, it is beautiful.

I need me a red dress like hers just so I can feel like 1/10th of a BAMF as she is.

“If he touches you again, i will impale him on that table”

“Does she speak English”

“When she wants to”

I loved everything about that interaction between Okoye and Ross. Very reminiscent of the moment between Okoya and Natasha “Move, or I will move you” and in both scene T Challa is sort of laughing over it because he knows Okoye is about two seconds from fucking someone up. Hilarious.

Klaw! What an odd Villain, because I felt like he wasnt really a villain. He was just sort of... the guy that was always around the bad guys, and then ultimately nothing more than a tool to be used for Killmongers vengeance. His sonic hand was a nice nod to the comic character who is just solid sound and emits it through his hand. And he was just amazingly obnoxiously AMERICAN and I both loved and hated him for that.

Nakia. How I love her. Not only is she entirely her own person, doing what she feels is right, but she is fucking FIERCE and gorgeous and smart and is not about to give up what she wants/needs because T Challa is in love with her. In fact, I love very much that the T Challa/Nakia love story wasnt even... a story. It wasnt even a driving force of the movie. She didnt have to get hurt to inspire him to greatness. She didnt have to break his heart to give him something to fix, really she didnt even go searching for a way to save him when he went over the falls, she went looking for the person that could save their country. Their love story was something quiet, something in the background, because a love story is NOT necessary to keep a movie going (do you hear that, oh pushers of the awkward heterosexual relationship to fill the down moments? not necessary).

HOWEVER, she absolutely was his rock, who he turned to in his moments of need. He crossed country borders and potentially could have ruined her mission (which was reckless and fairly selfish) because he needed her there when he was crowned King, and she wanted to be there for him. She was the only person he told about his uncle’s death and the truth about Erik, and she was the one to help his mother and sister escape because they are just as much her family as his.

But back to Nakia-- I think one of my favorite scenes is when they go to Korea and she speaks the language so well, laughs over the trouble she gets into, and very much makes it clear to T Challa AGAIN that she has her own life that has nothing to do with him. Holla for Strong Females.

How much did I love the Queen Mothers hair being blonde/white underneath her beautiful head-dress. Lovely lovely lovely.

M’Baku. I have mixed feelings about his character. I very much appreciated Marvel NOT using his “man-ape” persona from the comics because hello, that is Racist As Fuck. Instead they made him lord over a people who used the gorilla as a symbol just as other tribes used the rhino/the panther etc. He was all sorts of big and beautiful and the challenge scene at the waterfall was just, brutal and incredible and PRIMAL and honestly there isnt much better than seeing two men (or women) really battle it out with just their strength. Of course the landscape and backdrop was incredible, but the fight scene was just INCREDIBLE. The way MBaku waited until the last minute to yield, the way T Challa BEGGED him to yield. I love it all.

I thought it was very interesting when Nakia came to him with the heart shaped herb, he didnt accept it. As someone who had challenged T Challa for the throne, I expected him to at least consider it, but it was obvious in his face that he was both honored, and then humbled, and yet still turned it down because he knows T Challa needed it more.

And yet when T Challa asked him for an army, for help, MBaku turned him down, said that this was the first king in CENTURIES to visit him. CENTURIES. These people had been living in the mountains, cut off from the rest of Wakanda and the other kings hadnt even visited them. No wonder the man is bitter. BUT NOT BITTER ENOUGH TO TURN THE QUEEN MOTHER AWAY. He still promised that she would be safe, no ham would come to her. I love that so much.

He did not just forgive centuries of being ignored because they need help, but he wasnt willing to completely turn his back either. I thought it was a realistic depiction that kept him very human, versus the usual “no i wont help at all because our ancestors battled” or even the “i have had a sudden change of heart and now will completely help you even if it means giving up my life for you, who I suddenly support.”

Also, the way he snorted and giggled over his vegetarian joke??? HE SNORTED AND GIGGLED and no one else laughed. Just his big ass on his throne cracking up and everyone else was like uhhhh....

Martin Freeman as Everett Ross. I love that they let his character be a smaller than average, soft spoken, older white man. No one overly intimidating, no one that seems to inspire fear and yet, when they are attacked by Killmonger when he rescues Klaw, Ross THROWS himself on Nakia (who could probably protect herself) and takes a bullet in the spine for her. That bravery, that instinctual “cover the women and children” and how quickly he reacts speaks to more of his character than anything else.

Also, the end where he “flies” the ship to stop the weapons from being shipped out and Shuri tells him “you are a great pilot AND HE IS A FUCKING GREAT PILOT he wants so badly to save them, and I love that he just doesnt give up. Like, he realizes that how they healed him was damn near impossible, so he will do the impossible to stop the worst from happening. I love it. (Also I just love Martin Freeman)

“Dont scare me like that, colonizer.”

“My Names Ross.”

“I know.”

^^^^I laughed so hard my friend frowned at me and I shoved her and said, “quit scowling colonizer” and then laughed harder. She did not think it was funny.

ERIK KILLMONGER. First of all, the scene where we meet him. Come on. He looks like such a goddamn fuck boy I almost wanted to smack him. Or maybe fuck him. I cant decide lol. I am in love with him though.

Growing up where I did, I saw so much anger in the black youth, especially the young men, and for that reason it was so hard to see him as a villain. He is just another abandoned black boy in a forgotten neighborhood, who is angry at the system. And yet he is also brilliant and talented and DRIVEN and he pulled himself up out of the situation he was thrown in and now is determined to change everyone elses situation. He talks of how where he is from, the black people who start the revolutions dont have the weapons they need to protect themselves/to ready themselves and its just... its so true in this very painful way, especially now, recently, and I just hurt for him.

The way he scarred himself, one for every kill so he could work his way up to challenging for the throne. It is horrifying to think of him marking himself after every kill, all around the world because every body was a step closer to his goal.

I could talk forever about his character, because I think it was a very accurate, interesting look into the truth underneath the “angry black man” that society paints these young men as.

I wont talk forever though, because holy shit Im actually talking forever lol, but I WILL say, that the differences between Erik and T Challa, from the speech patterns to the way they walked (cocky versus confident) to the way they dressed and talked/treated the women (I would throw a pan at Killmonger if he talked to me like he talked to them lol). it was just an incredible contrast between one who was given EVERYTHING and someone who had to take everything they wanted just to have a SHOT at anything in the world. The difference between rich and poor and the lines that it draws and the different worlds it creates whether we realize it or not.

The only person I dont want to spend alot of time on is W’Kabi. I have mixed feelings to his joining with Killmonger, but I realize he was driven by vengeance and that can be a poisonous thing.

HOWEVER, I thought he had one of the most beautiful scenes in the move. Him and Okoye are in love, and yet when it comes to them ready to fight each other, he asks her, “would you fight me, my love” and she says,. “for wakanda i would” (paraphrasing) and HE is the one to put his weapon down. He is the one to sacrifice his vengeance for love. Not the woman. She did not change. She stood strong in what she believed to be right, and he loved her enough to give up what he wanted.

I love so much that this movie allowed her and other women to be the strong ones, driving the men to make the right choice.

I will stop rambling now lol

End Thoughts--- This movie is so important right now, such a wonderful thing for our young people to see-- Strong black characters, who go that way without a history of drugs or jail or anything like that. Strong black women who are beautiful (stunningly so) even without wigs/straightened hair/lighter skin, and Strong black men who are not any less strong for loving the women in their lives and being humbled enough by past mistakes to try and change.

My favorite line is easily the very last one, where the young black boy asks T Challa-- who are you?

Every white child has had the chance to ask their hero-- batman, superman, spiderman, wonder woman etc etc etc-- who they are. Who is this hero that has saved my life and given me hope and is going to change this seemingly hopeless situation?

But seeing a little black boy asking the same question-- maybe I read too much into it, but it really struck a cord with me.

OH and the last scene.

I will be the first to admit, I was like... foaming at the mouth to see Bucky in Infinity War, with his new arm and a new gun and like YASSSSSS BABY FUCK THEM BOYS UP LET ME SEE YOU KILL SOMEONE.

But like?? Stepping from a hut looking like Jesus?? Long hair?? Like god Marvel, please just let my baby stay by the lake and meditate with his half pony tail and man bun. PLEASE just let him play with the children who call him White Wolf. PLEASE just let him light scented candles and have the women braid his hair and when Steve comes looking for him, just let him say no I have found inner peace here in my little hut by the water???

I JUST WANT HIM TO BE PEACEFUL?!

Alright, thats it. Sorry for the long ass ramble, this literally isnt half of what I wanted to say. Feel free to hit up my ask box about anything black panther related lol

#black panther #wakanda forever #t'challa #erik killmonger #fan girl fainting

97 notes · View notes

hexxwhat · 6 years

Text

Hello friends, now that I have seen The Last Jedi twice and had time to process it all I thought I would give you all my thoughts! First things first, let me just say that I am not down for the visceral way Star Wars fans are lashing out at one another over this movie? Like if you liked it, good that’s valid! If you hated it, good that is also valid! But targeting other movies or other people’s opinions to just be nasty is so petty and so exhausting and I am just not for it. So if you’re not open to having critical dialogue about a film, or if you’ve already decided how you feel about the movie and aren’t interested in other people’s opinions then don’t even waste your time reading this? Because at the end of the day it’s just a movie and it’s supposed to be entertaining. And I am saying that as someone who has invested way too much time over the course of her entire lifetime to the Star Wars franchise, the EU and the general meta of the series.

No Star Wars film has EVER been perfect; every movie has its flaws. Let’s not act like this is news.

Now TL;DR version right up front: I didn’t hate it but I thought a lot of it was rushed and Rian Johnson just really disappointed me.

Now, spoilers below the cut of course.

Let’s get to my biggest issue first shall we?

The entire plot line between Holdo and Poe was extremely frustrating to me. Not just because of the way it portrayed Poe as an impulsive and insensitive child (I’ll get into that in more detail later) but because miscommunication as a driving plot point is one of the laziest tropes ever and I am so, so sick of seeing it in film. PLUS! It goes against how information was shared by the Rebels as established by EVERY ONE OF THE PREVIOUS STAR WARS FILMS??? Like in every single other film where there was a rebellion present (and therefore excludes the prequels) whenever there was a plan that affected the entire rebellion, every member was told about it.

To prove it, here are my sources:

· A New Hope: When everyone was sitting around reviewing the Death Star plans and talking about how people were going to blow it up, the whole rebellion was there. Not just the officers, not just the pilots, everyone. Including Han Solo who was not a member of the rebellion and was really just there hanging out at the time? Han was informed of the plan for the Death Star even though everyone knew he and Chewie would be leaving. Nobody was kept in the dark about the plan!

· The Empire Strikes Back: Everyone is getting ready to go fight the Empire’s forces landing on the surface of Hoth and everyone is standing around in a circle listening to Leia tell them their orders. Everyone heard everyone else’s orders, even if they didn’t apply to them. Everyone knew what everyone else was supposed to do so that nobody was confused, left in the dark and so nobody would get in any body else’s way!

· The Return of the Jedi: Everyone is sitting around in a circle listening to Mon Mothma explaining about the new Death Star and what the plan is as a whole and then listening to all the other little plans! Everyone hears about what the plan is with Lando and his squad. Everyone hears about what the plans are with Han and his ground troops. Everyone knows what part they are playing in this grander scheme so that nobody is just standing around being wasted energy and nobody will be doing anything reckless that gets in the way of the rest of the mission!

· The Force Awakens: Everyone standing around that glowing map once Han and Finn get to the Resistance base and Poe takes Finn to Leia. Everyone hears what Finn has to say about Starkiller Base. Everyone gets to hear what the plan is that they set up. Including Han Solo, who even gets to provide input to the plan even though he is clearly not an official member of the Resistance and has in fact been off dicking around for a couple of years not helping at all. Even he got to find out what the plan was. Again.

· Rogue One: When the team finally got back to Yavin IV and was talking about the Death Star plans literally everyone who wanted to be was crammed into that room around that glowing table having a say and or hearing what everyone else had to say. Even Jyn and Bodhi, who by rights were not part of the rebellion and if anything they probably should have been super suspicious of Bodhi because who knows he could have been a double agent? (it hurts me to even say that of Bodhi but still) Everyone who wanted to know what the plan was, what the Rebellion’s next step was, was able to find out. Was able to hear and know.

So when Holdo took command of the Resistance and was standing there in the center of the circle with the entire remainder of the Resistance watching and listening…the fact that she didn’t say shit about the plan is bullshit. It was bullshit, it was lazy, and it was straight up the thing I hated the most about this movie. Hands down, no question about it, the worst piece of nonsense. There is a precedent for how this Resistance is run based on how the Rebellion is run because Leia was the bridge between the two movements. And it was already shown in TFA that she kept the whole ‘let’s share information thing so nobody feels lost’ movement alive. So if Holdo was so trustworthy and close to Leia then why the fuck didn’t she just tell everyone the plan? Things would have been so easy if she had just done what every leader before her had done when standing in a circle surrounded by the people she was supposed to lead! Ridiculous.

That being said, Holdo’s final moment was incredibly bad ass and visually stunning. Cinematically that cut to silence was so impactful and heart wrenching. Holdo was clearly a woman with a strong will and convictions and I honestly wanted to like her more but I couldn’t because RJ was like “Do you know what we need in a time of crisis? For the leadership to be petty and condescending to one of the main characters.” Like…it was so lazy. Holdo deserved better, Rian Johnson is invited to my funeral as a pall barer so he can let me down again when I die.

Which loops me around to my second biggest issue with the movie which is the Character Assassination of Poe and Luke and to an extent Rey. Now, anyone who knows me well knows that Characters often matter more to me then Story/Plot. I have read some awful books and watched some shitty shows and movies just for the sake of a character that I really love and identify with. So when I see writers and directors really misinterpreting characters, it bothers me. Because it is often purposefully done for the sake of ego. How hard is it to look at someone else’s work and be faithful to it? Why do you have to change character’s behaviors for the sake of doing something different or edgy? It’s exhausting and Rian Johnson really tried it with me.

Poe Dameron is a risk taker who often time puts himself into incredible amounts of danger for the sake of the cause. This is seen in TFA when he goes on a mission alone, it is seen in the short story released about his life prior to the start of TFA and it is seen in his solo comics run. Poe is reckless with himself. Not with others. The opening battle was actually brilliant, it made me feel a lot of things, and it also showed the toll of war. People always die in Star Wars movies. In a New Hope only about 3 members from Red Team made it back to the base on Yavin IV. The toll has always been high. And all the background evidence Disney and LucasFilms has provided for us up until TLJ came out showed that not only is Poe entirely cognizant of the cost of war, he is respectful of it. To turn Poe into a, and let us quote “A trigger happy fly boy” is degrading. Poe is part of the Resistance because he values people and he is living up to the memory of his mother and the sacrifices of his father. To turn him into someone seeking glory at the cost of others is honestly disgusting to me. And while his coup was conducted with the right intentions at heart, it shouldn’t have happened at all because to circle back around, miscommunication as a plot device is lazy as hell and I thought we were better than this. That being said every interaction Poe had with Finn was golden, his entire bond with the droids in his life is charming and pure, and the way he slams his hand against the side of his ship before doing a sharp turn at high speed to keep from slamming his head into the glass from the force of it all is one of the best subtle acknowledgments of physics in space that I have ever seen.

Now…let’s talk about Luke shall we? Luke Skywalker has been one of my favorite characters from the time I was five years old and can remember watching Star Wars for the first time with my Uncle and Mother. My first piece of Star Wars meta that I owned was a chapter book about Luke that took place just before A New Hope started and my mother used to read it to me while I was in the bathtub so that I would actually sit still in there. My Harry Potter phase was nothing really, I didn’t even read past book 3 until I was almost a High School graduate and I really don’t think the series is as good as people romanticize it. But the reason for that is because Star Wars was my Harry Potter and there was just no room in my heart for anything to be nearly as big. Luke Skywalker is one of the single most important characters in fiction to me. He is my hero, he is my moral line in the sand. He is someone with great power who was given the choice to rule or to lead and he chose to lead. And that is an incredibly important distinction. He is an optimist about everything and everyone, but he is also confident and self-assured. He is a loving person who cares and bonds with others despite what the way of the Jedi had said because he understood the value of people. He is dramatic and thoughtful and dedicated to being a balancing act in the universe. So it meant a lot to me that I was going to get to see Luke on the big screen. I never got to see that growing up. I was seven years old when episode I came out and I have seen every Star Wars movie that has come out in my lifetime in theaters, usually more than once. But I never got to see Luke until now and I was so very excited. And while Mark Hamill’s performance was stunning because he gave everything he had to give…you could tell in parts he was just as disappointed with the way Rian Johnson wrote Luke as I was. Now in the EU, Luke did at one time just straight up leave everyone. This was after his wife was murdered and he left after looking into the future and seeing that if he took vengeance for her death he would become a Sith and be pretty much unstoppable. And because Luke Skywalker is such a good and pure soul, he said ‘nope, not going to subject the universe to that’ and left! But him going away and turning into a grumpy old man who hates people is bullshit. Him not coming back because Leia called for him is bullshit. Him closing himself off from the Force entirely and therefore not having felt the exact moment when Han Solo died IS BULLSHIT! Also, Luke trying to rebuild the whole Jedi Order as it was when it was destroyed is nonsense. Luke Skywalker was a Gray Jedi who disavowed just as much of the teachings of the Jedi Order as he did of the Sith. So that was nonsense.

Luke Skywalker never would have taken a lightsaber down to his nephew’s tent. He learned the lesson of choice in Return of the Jedi and if he saw darkness in Ben he would have done something else about it. Anything else about it. But again it was Rian Johnson using miscommunication as a plot point which is once more…lazy af.

That being said, there were moments when Luke was Luke and it tore my heart to pieces.

Luke on the Falcon and his interaction with R2-D2 was incredible. And leave it to R2 to take such an effective low blow. What good timing and sense of human guilt that droid has.

Luke and his reunion with Leia was beautiful. The fact that it was apparently written by Carrie just adds to the pain of it all. But it was beautiful and also one of the only moments the movie got to take to breath. The rest of the film was so jam packed and rushed that we never got a chance to really appreciate the toll all of this had on people. So that scene was beautiful and emotional and perfectly illustrated the whole point of Luke never placing his ego as a Jedi before the safety of people.

The entire fight scene between Luke and Kylo Ren was honestly golden. The outfit Luke showed up in was perfect and harkened back to his Return of the Jedi look. The ease with which he did everything, the shoulder brush after the First Order shot at him, the way he just dropped backwards and spun away from Kylo when he tried to half in the first time. The audacity to throw Han’s death in Kylo’s face right before utterly and fully humiliating him in front of the entire First Order. THE ABILITY TO ASTRALLY PROJECT HIMSELF THERE JUST TO TEACH KYLO ABOUT HUMILITY AND TO SAVE THE RESISTANCE WAS SO GOOD! Like there was the characterization that was missing. There was Luke Skywalker standing on the plank of Jabba’s skimmer saying ‘Free us or Die’ with the nonchalance of asking a neighbor if you can get a ball out of their back yard. There was Luke Skywalker, with a great big FU to the fascists of the Universe that I grew up cherishing. The only thing that would have made that scene better was if he was using the green saber that he made for himself. Because it honestly didn’t make sense for him to be using the saber that Rey and Kylo had literally just destroyed. That was the biggest ‘wait’ moment of that whole scene and kinda took away from the impact of the whole ‘I’m not really here, haha!’ moment.

I’m okay with Luke dying. I really am. But only if he comes back in Episode IX as a Force Ghost. If he doesn’t then Rian Johnson really and truly wasted the gift he was given.

Rey stealing the Jedi Texts was brilliant, Rey learning how to figure out the Force based on what she was given by Luke was great. REY’S FIRST INSTINCT WHEN THE FORCE BOND HAPPENED WAS TO SHOOT KYLO LIKE GOD BLESS. But the cave scene was a huge let down. I was expecting something closer to when Luke said ‘nah Yoda I’m going to go into the sketchy part of the woods’ and he fought himself as Darth Vader in episode V. Instead we didn’t really get anything? I expected more from a sketchy portal in the ground that lead directly to the dark side TM. Reducing Rey’s journey to understanding and the Force into just redeeming Kylo is trite. And beautifully summed up with her whole ‘please don’t do this’ and look of utter disappointment after the fight scene with Snoke’s guards. (That Fight scene was very good! Very good! All the action scenes in this movie was very good!) Rey not letting the fact that Luke was being obstinate get in her way of her own training was good because it really shows that she values herself, she values the Force and she values what she can contribute to the Resistance. Rey’s arc stumbled in this movie but it was still good, and her optimism in Kylo was just as valid as Luke’s optimism in Vader.

Question, why was Yoda like that? He was like…a CGI version of his puppet self from The Empire Strikes Back and he was a weird kale green color? They gave up on his iconic speech pattern like real quick. I was mostly unsettled by the fact that he was entirely wreathed in flame for 80% of the time he was on screen like some kind of goblin. And honestly I really wish it had been Obi-Wan who showed up to talk to Luke since out of the two of them Obi-Wan was the one most similar to Luke in how he conducted himself. That being said I was very happy to see Yoda, because it was a nice call back to how the Force Ghosts operate. Which also gives me hope to Luke being a Force Ghost. I’m really clinging to that guys.

LET’STALK ABOUT LEIA AND THE FORCE BECAUSE THAT WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY ONE OF THE MOST SATISFYING AND VALIDATING THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN WHILE BEING EQUALLY FRUSTRATING!

Leia has used the Force in every movie we see her in. She generally only used it to sense others, mostly Luke, but that was because at the time Leia didn’t understand that feeling for what it was. Also if you watch Return of the Jedi when she is strangling Jabba in one shot the chain moves by itself and that is obviously Leia exerting her will over it with the Force as she viciously chokes the life out of the slug man. Leia doesn’t start to open herself up to the Force until after she finds out that Luke is her brother and Vader is her biological father. (I say biological because Bail Organa was Leia’s father and he deserves to be respected) In TFA she talks about the Force with the confidence of someone who has used it, and it is obvious that she is much more in tune with it then before when she feels Han die. So it was very satisfying to see her use the Force in such an overt way because it really shut up all the Fake Star Wars Fanboys who were always arguing that Leia never had any Force Sensitivity whatsoever. She had Skywalker blood in her. The fuck you mean Leia can’t use the Force. That being said…the science on what happens to an organic lifeform in the vacuum of space is pretty clear. So the way RJ decided to show Leia using the Force was just…silly. It was more funny in the moment than anything else. Like really…she’s turning to ice, she had no oxygen, she dead…but okay. I’ll take it because Leia could have been a Jedi if she had made it to Obi-Wan and we all know that’s the real reason why Bail sent Leia when he could have sent anyone.

Snoke and Phasma were wasted, let’s not pretend that they weren’t. The Phasma / Finn fight should have been longer, more fighting, less one liners. I loved the fight scene, I just really wanted more from it because like….she raised and trained all the troopers, you would think she would have been a bit more brutal? And Snoke?? Why did they even take the time to build him up the way they did if we were never going to find out jack shit about him? Like come on guys what was that? But like also Snoke’s robe was fabulous and I kind of want it? The color was great and the neckline was great. The costume designer on this movie did a hell of a job. I loved it.

RIP the boyfriend jacket, lost in space when Finn and Rose changed into the Imperial Uniforms on Snoke’s ship. Rose never got to wear the jacket which is a tragedy since everyone wore the jacket in TFA.

Side note, Disney is a pack of cowards for not giving us Gays in Space and trying to shoehorn the Finn/Rose romance in at the last minute. Like bless them for an interracial couple that didn’t include a white person in it but Finn/Poe is also an interracial couple that doesn’t include a white person. But Rose Tico is a gift and anyone who shits on her for the sake of a ship is a child and can leave. Like she is a passionate and dedicated part of the Resistance. She is down in the metal and the dirt making sure the ship is running and people are being honorable. She lost her sister to this fight and she was ready to keep fighting regardless. She gave up the one token she had for the sake of the mission because she is a selfless hero. Rose Tico is a gift, we don’t deserve her vicious little spirit. I just thought the kiss came out of nowhere and was unnecessary? Her line was beautiful. Saving what we Love is at its core the whole point of everything in the Star Wars Universe. But they didn’t need to kiss. And this isn’t just because I prefer Finn/Poe. It just wasn’t necessary in that moment.Also I can not wait for the part in EP IX when Rey and Rose meet and become best friends BECAUSE THEY ARE BOTH SUCH VICIOUS LIGHTS OF HOPE AND LIFE AND UGH I LOVE EM.

I’m not here to talk about Kylo Ren, Reylo shippers or any of that. I’m too much of an adult to have a problem with people who like villains and people who ship the villain with the female protagonist. Like leave people alone. Don’t be coming into people’s DM’s acting like liking something in fiction automatically means they are okay with it in real life. Don’t act like this whole shipping the hero with the villain thing is new. It’s not, it happens, people always wants a redemption arc for the villains even if they don’t deserve it. Let people live. I don’t like Kylo Ren, I don’t ship him with Rey. I’m not here for that discourse.

I am here to tell all you assholes who are going hard on Adam Driver for his portrayal of Kylo and his appearance to step the fuck off. You all need to learn how to separate character from actor. And you need to learn that insulting someone’s appearance just because they are the bad guy is hypocritical to the whole body positivity movement that most of you people are praising with your second breath. Adam Driver is an incredible actor, you know why I say that? Because if he wasn’t such a good actor then we wouldn’t have the violent, deep rooted responses we have to Kylo Ren. Adam Driver doesn’t deserve the shit you people throw at him. And that’s fact.

And lastly….I really don’t like the Porgs. I don’t and I’m sorry. I now understand how my dad feels about the Ewoks, I get it. I mean they were cute like the first few times I saw them but then they just…got obnoxious? It was too much to the point that it got stale. My dad is really bothered by the fact that they are birds but they have fur and like honestly that doesn’t bother me. It’s just the noise they make, it pierces my very soul and I just…I’m sorry but the little furry penguins didn’t do it for me.

….I loved the Crystal Critters tho…

But the overuse of the Porgs brings me to my biggest issue with the general humor of the movie. A lot of it got repetitious and was just not funny to me. The movie never took the time to slow down and take a breath like previous films, it was just constantly go, go, go. Which meant at times the jokes butted up against serious moments in a way that just didn’t work for me. They seemed ill timed and just didn’t always land with me.

The hardest I laughed was when Rey threw the lightsaber to Kylo and he used it to kill the guard that was choking him out. I saw the movie twice and both times I fucking died laughing at that part. That was funny to me and it wasn’t supposed to be, which really tells you something about the humor of the film.

But yeah…so if you made it all the way to the end of my long ass complex dissection of the Last Jedi, congratulations. Feel free to message me if you want to talk about anything in more depth. I am happy to talk about anything as long as it’s respectful. If you didn’t agree with something I said here, let’s talk about it. Let’s just be civil about it mkay?

Thanks friends. Here’s hopping Episode IX is better.

#Use the Force #Star Wars #The Last Jedi #Star Wars Spoilers #The Last Jedi Spoilers #THIS IS MY OPINION

11 notes · View notes

ciathyzareposts · 5 years

Text

The Kingdom of Syree: Won! (with Summary and Rating)

The king of Questron made me a baron. The King of Syree knighted me. Remind me what Lord British did for me again?

The Kingdom of Syree

United States

Everlasting Software (developer and publisher)

Released in 1992 for DOS

Date Started: 20 May 2019

Date Finished: 6 June 2019

Total Hours: 20 Difficulty: Moderate (3/5) Final Rating: (to come later) Ranking at time of posting: (to come later)

Summary

An Ultima clone right down to the keyboard commands, The Kingdom of Syree nonetheless tells a somewhat original story about a hidden wizard seeking to overthrow a kingdom that has achieved peace for the first time in millennia. In true Ultima style, the player slowly gathers clues from NPCs in castles and towns, collects artifacts, and develops his magic ability. While the game uses Ultima IV-style keyword interaction for NPCs, it unfortunately uses very basic Ultima II-style combat, and its few spells are far more useful for puzzle-solving than for defeating monsters. Although the game doesn’t last too long, its indoor areas are a bit too large, making it difficult to track down every crucial NPC.

***

The Kingdom of Syree isn’t going to be “Game of the Year” for 1992, or even my favorite Ultima clone, but it managed to pull off a few original ideas and surprises before the end, and I concluded feeling relatively satisfied.

The six major steps of the game turn out to be:

Amassing enough gold to afford equipment and transportation

Amassing enough gold to increase attributes in the dungeon Kehol, then trading some of those attributes for wisdom to gain magic points

Finding clues as to the game’s various spells, some of which are necessary to navigate

Finding the Sword of Emara, the only weapon that can kill the evil wizard

Delving all the dungeons to learn the “Dispel” spell

Finding, revealing, and killing the evil wizard

I had accomplished the first three goals during the first two sessions. It wasn’t much longer before I checked off the third goal, although it was a bit odd. The corpse of King Emara in his sarcophagus had told me to ask about the SABER in the city of Coel, but doing that revealed nothing at all. Instead, I found the sword with clues from other cities.

In River Bend, someone told me that “Shepard” said that the Saber was in the Valley of Haunts. I tracked down Shepard in Doe Shameh, and he said that to enter the Valley of Haunts, I would have to go to coordinates 19,42 (just north of Lost) and cast the YASHAB spell, then go as far north as I could, then “die an unnatural death.” I already knew how to do that with the MAVETH spell.

The character kills himself.

YASHAB ended up taking me into a few squares in the middle of a mountain range. I did what Shepard said, went north, and cast MAVETH. The game said that I died, but then I woke up in a completely dark dungeon. Fortunately, in Garrett, the former court wizard (now being tortured for not giving the same information to King Dakar) told me that once I was in the “spirit world,” I should go 20 west, 8 south, 3 west, and 5 north, then search for Emara. I followed those instructions and got the sword.

Finding the Sword of Emara in the dark.

Unfortunately, at this point I was stuck. Leaving the dungeon with the SEQUITU spell just put me in the same mountain squares with no way to get out. It was only by making another circuit through the towns that I found a new NPC in Lost who told me that ANASTASIS was a spell of resurrection. Casting that while in the Valley of Haunts put my character back on the mainland, outside Lost, with the sword in hand.

The rest of the stages took me a while because I misinterpreted the clues to mean that the “Truth” spell (ALETHEIA) is what would break the evil wizard’s facade. In the end, I never found any use whatsoever for ALETHEIA. I suspect it works on one or two NPCs whose advice either I didn’t need or got by simply cycling through all the letters of the alphabet.

“Dispel” turns out to be EMETH, which you piece together by mapping the bottom levels of each dungeon. The last level of each of the five dungeons always turns out to be curiously open, and when I mapped the first one–Mysti–I realized it looked like a letter “E.” From there, it was easy enough to pick up the others. I didn’t know the order to arrange the letters, but there are only so many combinations. (Technically, there are 120, but I could eliminate those beginning with TM, MT, HT, and so forth.) Fortunately, when you cast a spell that doesn’t exist, the game says “no effect”; whereas when you cast a real spell in the wrong location, it says “failed!” So I just had to try combinations of the letters (THEME, HETEM, etc.) until I got the right message.

The three levels of the dungeon Mysti, including the “E” at the bottom.

I already had a sense that King Dakar of Garrett was probably the evil wizard, since he had a torture room where people were boiling in pools of fire. Also, Grover the Terrified in Yew claimed that Dakar was not what he appeared. I headed to Castle Garrett and cast the spell in front of the king.

It turns out that EMETH not only dispelled Dakar’s illusion but the entire castle’s, which was a hellscape of fire, guarded by balrons and dragons. I died the first time when monsters killed me before I found the wizard.

Just in case you weren’t sure where the wizard was.

Things got much easier when I figured out that the wizard was in the far southern part of the city, and I was able to wait until I reached that area before casting EMETH. I doffed my armor to protect myself from his magical attacks (previous NPC clues had told me that skin is the only protection against “unnatural” magic). I killed him with a few blows of the Sword of Emara.

Note that the wizard is said to be inhabiting “the corpse of King Dakar.”

The endgame consisted of a brief ceremony in front of the King of Syree, who knighted me “Sir Chester.” Some final words set up the sequel.

Note that the king has stolen the Sword of Emara from me. I just have a generic “greatsword.”

One unsolved mystery has to do with the city of Phanteo Eifcon, which sits on an island in a lake. The “part water” spell (BADAL) doesn’t allow access to the island–it only seems to work at the Dungeon of Water. After I won the game, I reloaded and edited the save game file to put my character on top of the city. The game wouldn’t even acknowledge it was there. I’m not sure what was going on with that. Maybe the developer never programmed the city. Or maybe I was supposed to find a hidden way into it, and its NPCs would have made some of the game’s steps more obvious.

BADAL causes this land bridge to appear to the Dungeon of Water, but it works nowhere else.

A couple of other oddities have to do with blatantly incorrect information coming from NPCs. For instance, the ghost of King Emara told me to ask around the city of Coel about the SABER to get information as to the location of the Sword of Emara. That keyword got me nowhere, and I learned nothing about the sword in Coel. Another NPC said that the entrance to the Valley of Haunts was near Phanteo Eifcon, which it wasn’t. You’re thinking maybe these were lies that ALETHEIA was supposed to expose, but I tried the spell and it didn’t make the NPCs say anything different.

Aside from those elements, I liked how the plot came together, and how the wizard was literally disguised (although we’ve seen that plot twist in Might and Magic) rather than in an obvious evil castle. In a GIMLET, the game earns:

3 points for the game world. The backstory has just enough detail for a game of this scope, and the map itself is nice. Unfortunately, the game doesn’t remember any of your own actions. I’m waiting for an Ultima clone where NPCs stop telling me where to find the Sword of Emara when I have it in my hands.

3 points for character creation and development. There isn’t much to it, but I liked the way experience adds directly and immediately to your maximum hit points. Using altars to develop attributes worked fine, too.

4 points for NPC interaction, a clear strength of the game. I’ll never get sick of keyword-based dialogue, although I like to see more role-playing opportunities within that dialogue.

2 points for encounters and foes. The monsters are nothing worth commenting on, but the game had some satisfying puzzles.

2 points for magic and combat–definitely a weakness. Combat couldn’t be more basic. While I liked the acquisition of spells via clues, and some of them were useful for navigation, I never cast a single combat-oriented spell.

Specifying “attack” and a direction is about as tactical as this game gets for combat.

2 points for equipment. You have only half a dozen weapon and armor types, some keys, and a sextant.

4 points for economy. It’s not very complex, but it remains relevant throughout the game. When you don’t need money for equipment anymore, the altars serve as a useful money sink.

2 points for a main quest with no side-quests or options.

3 points for graphics, sound, and interface. The icon-based graphics are fine. Most of this score goes to the interface; I’ll always approve of games where each command is mapped to a different key.

5 points for gameplay. Syree has a surprising amount of nonlinearity; you can even rent a boat if you want to explore the world before you can afford to buy one. I found the difficulty and pacing just about right, too.

That gives us a final score of 30, not epic, but higher than I expected when I started.

I spent some time (in vain) trying to track down the game’s author, Thomas Steven Himinez, whose life seems to define the word “eccentric.” He claimed in the game manual that the game was based on the “books by Lord Steven”–a fact amusingly parroted by multiple web sites, as if said books actually existed. To get in touch with the author and pay the shareware fee, users were asked to go through a BBS belonging to a doughnut shop in Los Angeles. “Lord Steven” did eventually publish a trilogy about a couple of tigers, which was turned into a play and an audio drama, and as I mentioned in the first entry, he got involved in the Doctor Who audio dramas. At some point, he changed his name to Thomas S. Lonely Wolf, began contributing to conspiracy and “prepping” web sites, and moved to a remote town in the Pacific Northwest, apparently anticipating imminent nuclear war.

We’ll see Lord Steven’s work again in The Kingdom of Syree II: Black Magic (1994) and The Kingdom of Syree III: The Depths of Hell (1998). It doesn’t appear that the games ever stop being Ultima clones with iconographic interfaces and very basic, Ultima I-style combat. But the graphics and sound improve a bit, and by the third game he’s doing some interesting things with still images during cut scenes.

From the character creation part of the third game.

Speaking of sequels to Ultima clones, my random approach to title selection has scheduled Telnyr II next–perhaps a bit unwisely. We’ll see if my patience holds.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/the-kingdom-of-syree-won-with-summary-and-rating/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

0 notes

writingguide003-blog · 5 years

Text

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

New Post has been published on https://writingguideto.com/must-see/44-writing-hacks-from-some-of-the-greatest-writers-who-ever-lived/

44 Writing Hacks From Some of the Greatest Writers Who Ever Lived

Writing looks fun, but doing it professionally is hard. Like really hard. Why on earth am I doing this?-hard.

Which is probably why so many people want to write, yet so few actually do. But there are ways to make it easier, as many writers can tell you. Tricks that have been discovered over the centuries to help with this difficult craft.

In another industry, these tricks would be considered trade secrets. But writers are generous and they love to share (often in books about writing). They explain their own strategies for how to deal with writers block to how to make sure your computer never eats your manuscript. They give away this hard-won knowledge so that other aspiring writers wont have to struggle in the same way. Over my career, Ive tried to collect these little bits of wisdom in my commonplace book (also a writers trick which I picked up from Montaigne) and am grateful for the guidance theyve provided.

Below, Ive shared a collection of writing hacks from some amazing writers like Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell, Stephen King, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne Lamott, and Raymond Chandler. I hope its not too presumptuous but I snuck in a few of my own too (not that I think Im anywhere near as good as them).

Anyway, heres to making this tough job a tiny bit easier!

[*] When you have an idea for an article or a bookwrite it down. Dont let it float around in your head. Thats a recipe for losing it. As Beethoven is reported to have said, If I don’t write it down immediately I forget it right away. If I put it into a sketchbook I never forget it, and I never have to look it up again.

[*] The important thing is to start. At the end of John Fantes book Dreams from Bunker Hill, the character, a writer, reminds himself that if he can write one great line, he can write two and if he can write two he can write three, and if he can write three, he can write forever. He pauses. Even that seemed insurmountable. So he types out four lines from one of his favorite poems. What the hell, he says, a man has to start someplace.

[*] In fact, a lot of writers use that last technique. In Tobias Wolffs autobiographical novel Old School, the character types the passages from his favorite books just to know what it feels like to have those words flow through his fingertips. Hunter S. Thompson often did the same thing. This is another reason why technologies like ebooks and Evernote are inferior to physical interaction. Just highlighting something and saving it to a computer? Theres no tactile memory there.

[*] The greatest part of a writers time is spent in reading; a man will turn over half a library to make one book. Samuel Johnson

[*] Tim Ferriss has said that the goal for a productive writing life is two crappy pages a day. Just enough to make progress, not too ambitious to be intimidating.

[*] They say breakfast (protein) in the morning helps brain function. But in my experience, thats a trade-off with waking up and getting started right away. Apparently Kurt Vonnegut only ate after he worked for 2 hours. Maybe he felt like after that hed earned food.

[*] Michael Malice has advised dont edit while you write. I think this is good advice.

[*] In addition to making a distinction between editing and writing, Robert Greene advises to make an equally important distinction between research and writing. Trying to find where youre going while youre doing it is begging to get horribly lost. Writing is easier when the research is done and the framework has been laid out.

[*] Nassim Taleb wrote in Antifragile that every sentence in the book was a derivation, an application or an interpretation of the short maxim he opened with. THAT is why you want to get your thesis down and perfect. It makes the whole book/essay easier.

[*] Break big projects down into small, discrete chunks. As I am writing a book, I create a separate document for each chapter, as I am writing them. Its only later when I have gotten to the end that these chapters are combined into a single file. Why? The same reason it feels easier to swim seven sets of ten laps, than to swim a mile. Breaking it up into pieces makes it seem more achievable. The other benefit in writing? It creates a sense that each piece must stand on its own.

[*] Embrace what the strategist and theorist John Boyd called the draw-down period. Take a break right before you start. To think, to reflect, to doubt.

[*] On being a writer: All the days of his life he should be reading as faithfully as his partaking of food; reading, watching, listening. John Fante

[*] Dont get caught up with pesky details. When I am writing a draft, I try not to be concerned with exact dates, facts or figures. If I remember that a study conducted by INSERT UNIVERSITY found that XX% of businesses fail in the first FIVE/SIX? months, thats what I write (exactly like that). If I am writing that on June XX, 19XX Ronald Reagan gave his famous Tear Down This Wall speech in Berlin in front of XX,XXX people, thats how its going to look. Momentum is the most important thing in writing, so Ill fill the details in later. I just need to get the sentences down first. “Get through a draft as quickly as possible.” is how Joshua Wolf Shenk put it.

[*] Raymond Chandler had a trick of using small pieces of paper so he would never be afraid to start over. Also with only 12-15 lines per page, it forced economy of thought and actionwhich is why his stuff is so readable.

[*] In The Artists Way, Julia Cameron reminds us that our morning pages and our journaling dont count as writing. Just as walking doesnt count as exercise, this is just priming the pumpits a meditative experience. Make sure you treat it as such.

[*] Steven Pressfield said that he used to save each one of his manuscripts on a disk that hed keep in the glovebox of his car. Robert Greene told me he sometimes puts a copy of his manuscript in the trunk of his car just in case. I bought a fireproof gun safe and keep my stuff in therejust in case.

[*] My editor Niki Papadopoulos at Penguin: Its not what a book is. Its what a book does.

[*] While you are writing, read things totally unrelated to what youre writing. Youll be amazed at the totally unexpected connections youll make or strange things youll discover. As Shelby Foote put it in an interview with The Paris Review: I cant begin to tell you the things I discovered while I was looking for something else.

[*] Writing requires what Cal Newport calls deep workperiods of long, uninterrupted focus and creativity. If you dont give yourself enough of this time, your work suffers. He recommends recording your deep work time each dayso you actually know if youre budgeting properly.

[*] Software does not make you a better writer. Fuck Evernote. Fuck Scrivner. You dont need to get fancy. If classics were created with quill and ink, youll probably be fine with a Word Document. Or a blank piece of paper. Dont let technology distract you. As Joyce Carol Oates put it in an interview, Every writer has written by hand until relatively recent times. Writing is a consequence of thinking, planning, dreaming this is the process that results in writing, rather than the way in which the writing is recorded.

[*] Talk about the ideas in the work everywhere. Talk about the work itself nowhere. Dont be the person who tweets Im working on my novel. Be too busy writing for that. Helen Simpson has Faire et se taire from Flaubert on a Post-it near her desk, which she translates as Shut up and get on with it.

[*] Why cant you talk about the work? Its not because someone might steal it. Its because the validation you get on social media has a perverse effect. Youll less likely to put in the hard work to complete something that youve already been patted (or patted yourself) on the back for.

[*] When you find yourself stuck with writers block, pick up the phone and call someone smart and talk to them about whatever the specific area youre stuck with is. Not that youre stuck, but about the topic. By the time you put your phone down, youll have plenty to write. (As Seth Godin put it, nobody gets talkers block.)

[*] Keep a commonplace book with anecdotes, stories and quotes you can always usefrom inspiration to directly using in your writing. And these can be anything. H.L. Mencken for example, would methodically fill a notebook with incidents, recording scraps of dialogue and slang, columns from the New York Sun.

[*] As you write down quotes and observations in your commonplace book, make sure to do it by hand. As Raymond Chandler wrote, when you have to use your energy to put words down, you are more apt to make them count.

[*] Elizabeth Gilbert has a good trick for cutting: As you go along, Ask yourself if this sentence, paragraph, or chapter truly furthers the narrative. If not, chuck it. And as Stephen King famously put it, kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribblers heart, kill your darlings.

[*] Strenuous exercise everyday. For me, and for a lot of other writers, its running. Novelist Don DeLillo told The Paris Review how after writing for four hours, he goes running to shake off one world and enter another. Joyce Carol Oates, in her ode to running, said that the twin activities of running and writing keep the writer reasonably sane and with the hope, however illusory and temporary, of control.

[*] Ask yourself these four questions from George Orwell: What am I trying to say? What words will express it? What image or idiom will make it clearer? Is this image fresh enough to have an effect? Then finish with these final two questions: Could I put it more shortly? Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

[*] As a writer you need to make use of everything that happens around you and use it as material. Make use of Seinfelds question: Im never not working on material. Every second of my existence, I am thinking, Can I do something with that?

[*] Airplanes with no wifi are a great place to write and even better for editing. Because there is nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

[*] Print and put a couple of important quotes up on the wall to help guide you (either generally, or for a specific project). Heres a quote from a scholar describing why Ciceros speeches were so effective which I put on my wall while I was writing my first book. At his best [Cicero] offered a sustained interest, a constant variety, a consummate blend of humour and pathos, of narrative and argument, of description and declamation; while every part is subordinated to the purpose of the whole, and combines, despite its intricacy of detail, to form a dramatic and coherent unit. (emphasis mine)

[*] Focus on what youre saying, worry less about how. As William March wrote in The Bad Seed, A great novelist with something to say has no concern with style or oddity of presentation.

[*] A little trick I came up with. After every day of work, I save my manuscript as a new file (for example: EgoIsTheEnemy2-26.docx) which is saved on my computer and in Dropbox (before Dropbox, I just emailed it to myself). This way I keep a running record of the evolution of book. It comforts me that I can always go back if I mess something up or if I have to turn back around.

[*] Famous ad-man David Ogilvy put it bluntly: Use short words, short sentences and short paragraphs.

[*] Envision who you are writing this for. Like really picture them. Dont go off in a cave and do this solely for yourself. As Kurt Vonnegut put it in his interview with The Paris Review: …every successful creative person creates with an audience of one in mind. Thats the secret of artistic unity. Anybody can achieve it, if he or she will make something with only one person in mind.

[*] Do not chase exotic locations to do some writing. Budd Schulbergs novel The Disenchanted about his time with F. Scott Fitzgerald expresses the dangers well: It was a time everyone was pressing wonderful houses on us. I have a perfectly marvelous house for you to write in, theyd say. Of course no one needs marvelous houses to write in. I still knew that much. All you needed was one room. But somehow the next house always beckoned.”

[*] True enough, though John Fante said that when you get stuck writing, hit the road.

[*] Commitments (at the micro-level) are important too. An article a week? An article a month? A book a year? A script every six weeks? Pick something, but commit to itpublicly or contractually. Quantity produces quality, as Ray Bradbury put it.

[*] Dont ever write anything you dont like yourself and if you do like it, dont take anyones advice about changing it. They just dont know. Raymond Chandler

[*] Neil Strauss and Tucker Max gave me another helpful iteration of that idea (which I later learned is from Neil Gaiman): When someone tells you something is wrong with your writing, theyre usually right. When they tell you how to fix it, theyre almost always wrong.

[*] Ogilvy had another good rule: Never use jargon words like reconceptualize, demassification, attitudinally, judgmentally. They are hallmarks of a pretentious ass.

[*] Print out the work and edit it by hand as often as possible. It gives you the readers point of view.

[*] Hemingway advised fellow writer Thomas Wolfe to break off work when you ‘are going good.’Then you can rest easily and on the next day easily resume. Brian Koppelman (Rounders, Billions) has referred to this as stopping on wet edge. It staves off the despair the next day.

[*] Keep the momentum: Never stop when you are stuck. You may not be able to solve the problem, but turn aside and write something else. Do not stop altogether. Jeanette Winterson

That taps me out for now. But every time I read I compile a few more notecards. Ill update you when Ive got another round to share.

In the meantime, stop reading stuff on the internet and get back to writing!

But if you have a second…share your own tips below.