#i also despise italians and italy but he's an exception

[miikoissant]

Romano looking stylish as always

Sauce: Hetalia World☆Stars episode 9

[helenadurazzo]

Since everyone is sharing information about their MC’s dad, I thought I’d provide some more information about Helena’s father: Alessandro Durazzo

Alessandro Durazzo was born on October 18th 1937 to two Italian Pure Bloods named Leonardo Durazzo and Camila (née Lazzarini) Durazzo. He was set to be the heir to the Durazzo family and would assume the role from his father, however, those plans quickly changed when the family realized fairly earlier on that Alessandro had no magical ability because he was a squib.

Alessandro’s paternal grandfather, Davide Durazzo, quickly advised Leonardo to abandon Alessandro at a muggle orphanage and let muggles raise him instead. Leonardo however despised this idea and fought against his father to keep Alessandro in the family, with the only family members who were immediately ready to stand by his side being his wife, Camila, and older sister, Artemisia.

Davide eventually gave in although the pressure was on Leonardo and Camila to have a suitable son, especially since Leonardo’s younger brother Giuseppe already had two sons who could become heirs of the family. Alessandro would get a sister named Donella in 1941 and a brother named Gregorio in 1944, unlike him both of them were magical. Donella studied alchemy and potions like their mother while Gregorio was fascinated with magical creatures, especially dragons.

Leonardo asked his muggle born friend, Guido for some assistance about how to help Alessandro. Guido, with the help of some of his muggle friends who lived in Genoa, helped Leonardo find a good muggle school to send Alessandro to. His teachers were very impressed by his knowledge and skill and Alessandro quickly rose to be one of the top in his class and getting high scores on almost all of his exams. Even though Leonardo and Camila didn’t understand much of what he was learning, they were proud that he was seeming to be fine, despite not having many friends.

Alessandro spent a lot of time in the family’s library reading and also learned how to play the piano. While he was allowed to go to the balls the Durazzo family hosted especially since not many pure bloods made the connection that Alessandro was Leonardo’s son, he never felt like he deserved to go to any as a guest. Instead he’d often make a more subtle appearance as a piano player or would help the kitchen staff serve various dishes to the guests.

As a kid, Alessandro was very close to his aunt Artemisia since she knew the most about muggle culture from secretly dating a few muggles and studying muggle culture in general. She always seemed interested in hearing about the new topics Alessandro was learning in school. Artemisia also often took Alessandro to the observatory and taught him about the constellations in the night sky. His uncle Giuseppe was less friendly to him since he believed that Alessandro didn’t deserve to stay in the Durazzo family and should be disowned.

While he loved his home and Italy, Alessandro always felt out of place since all the people he knew that didn’t go to his school, were magical and as such, didn’t understand his studies. When Alessandro proposed the idea of him not going to the local university, he was surprised that his father was happy with the idea and encouraged him to go out and discover who he was. Leonardo also traveled around with Alessandro for a bit to tour various universities and helped him decide if he wanted to stay somewhere in Italy or a foreign country. In the end, Alessandro decided to study economics and business at a university in England.

Being the introvert he was, Alessandro didn’t talk with much of his classmates outside of the classroom except for a few. One of those few was his classmate and his closest life long friend, Richard Raleigh, who he shared a majority of his classes with. The two shared books together and Alessandro even taught him the basics of how to speak, read, and write in Italian. Richard, who had grown up in the same town as the university, knew the area well and as such showed Alessandro around to the best restaurants, bookshops, and other attractions and shopping areas.

Alessandro never really had any luck with romance until he walked into a coffee shop prior to getting some new books to add to his personal collection. In the small shop, he got acquainted with a woman with black curly hair and blue eyes named Olivia Hearst. She told him she lived about thirty minutes away from there and was simply in town visiting an old friend. As they talked, he told her how he had moved from Italy to study in England while she told him about her career as a botanist. When they had to part ways, they traded contact information and promised to keep in touch.

Eventually the two would start a romantic relationship and begin dating. He noted that when he met Olivia’s parents they seemed to not be impressed with him although Olivia’s younger sister had a much better attitude about their relationship. Alessandro also wrote home to his family about Olivia. Leonardo and Camila didn’t have any expectations for who he should marry as he was a squib so they were simply happy he found someone for him. While he was nervous about her finding out about his family’s magic, he figured he wouldn’t have this kind of chance again and as such proposed to Olivia, while the two were on a date visiting a gardening exhibit together.

Leonardo, Camila, Artemisia, Donella, and Gregorio traveled to England to attend the wedding which was also the first time most of them got to meet Olivia in person. At the same time, Richard was getting married to a woman named Judith Guilford and during their wedding, Alessandro served as the best man. Alessandro had introduced Olivia to Richard while they were dating and she had began to form a friendship with Judith not too long after the two were introduced to each other.

Since Alessandro was usually traveling for work, he and Olivia agreed that it would be best to start with one kid and go from there. On January 10th, 1963, Olivia gave birth to their first child, Jacob Durazzo. Alessandro watched Jacob closely trying to pick up on any signs of magic, even though he knew the chances were low. However, he was quite surprised when he finally did realize that Jacob was displaying signs of Magic. When he found out, he tried to keep it hidden from Olivia until he could find a way to tell her the truth, however she had a surprise of her own to tell him.

Alessandro learned that his wife was actually not a muggle but a pure blood witch and that the reason her parents weren’t impressed with him was because he was a ‘muggle’. She apologized for not telling her sooner and told him it was ok if he wasn’t ready to forgive her for lying. However Alessandro confessed his own secret about hiding the truth about his own magical family and status of the squib. From then on, the two promised to be honest with each other and to keep no more secrets between each other and instead, talk to each other.

Once Jacob was a bit older, Olivia convinced Alessandro that they should try and have another child. So, on February 23rd 1973, Olivia would give birth to their daughter, Helena Durazzo. Alessandro often saw his beloved wife in his daughter despite her looking like him because Helena shared Olivia’s interest in plants and gardening. He also watched as like her older brother, Helena also began developing her own magical ability which pleased Olivia since she was confident she’d have someone to pass her gardens and Herbology work to

Alessandro and Richard often met up at least once a year if not more so and used these meetings to introduce their children to each other. Richard had three children of his own named Adeline, Agatha, and Andrew. They even once tried to set Adeline and Jacob together since they felt it would be a good idea to unite their families although those plans feel through fairly quickly. However, Alessandro and Richard were quite proud to see their children developing the life long friendships they had with Alessandro’s children later assisting Richard’s granddaughter, Genna, as she navigated through the magical world.

He also wanted to make sure Jacob and Helena felt connected to the Italian side of the family and as such, made sure to take them to Italy ever summer, usually for a month. During these visits he would catch up with his siblings and parents while his kids would hang out with their cousins, Serafina, Leonardo, Lorenzo and Luciana. During these visits, Jacob and Helena would put their Italian lessons to good use and could both speak the language fluently and could both hold conversations in the language somewhat decently.

Despite not being home a lot due to work, Alessandro had to get a bit creative in the ways he would bond with his two children. He would often send them letters and picked up photography to send them pictures of the places he had been. Alessandro also never left one of places he had traveled without getting a souvenir for both of his children, something he continued to do, even after Jacob had gone missing, often getting a key chain or pin and stashing it away, hoping one day his son would come home. He would also read stories to his kids when they were younger and instilled a love of reading in them, along with teaching them about Italian literature and the Italian language.

When Jacob went missing, Alessandro took on the role of being the strong one to comfort his wife who was especially saddened by the turn of events, and to try to present a hopeful outlook of the future to his eight year old daughter. He temporarily stopped doing any business trips outside of England so he could be closer to his wife and daughter, preferring any work that was close to their home. During this time he would let out his emotions through writing in his journal or when he was alone, with Richard (while he was oblivious to truth of the situation as he was a muggle) offering a listening ear.

Alessandro and Olivia were extremely nervous and worried for their daughters safety to the point where they considered sending her to Italy or America to study at Ilvermorny as she had relatives who attended both schools. But each of those conversations ended with them knowing that they either had to give Hogwarts a chance or Helena had already made friends at Hogwarts that she would prefer not to leave anytime soon. Both of them always felt a bit of pride in them, when Helena wrote to them about finding the vaults and breaking each curse

While Jacob had been freed from the portrait vault, Alessandro and Olivia didn’t find out he was alive until he surprised the family as they were packing for their annual trip to America for the holidays. Although the two had many questions and did ask some of them just to know the basics of what was going on. Alessandro suggested that they should try and relax since that was what the holidays were meant for. At some point, Alessandro gave Jacob the box of key chains and the pins he had been collecting over the years from each of his business trips as a welcome back present.

Alessandro would eventually became a grandfather and have four biological grandkids (Sandy, Cereus, Dominic and Remy) and two grandkids by adoption (Vincent and Zara). Out of his grandchildren, Sandy, who was also his namesake, always seemed to be the closest to him, sharing his passion for books and enjoying whenever Alessandro could read to her. He also got along with both his daughter-in-laws (Angelica and Erika) not too long after Jacob/Helena told him and Olivia that they were dating their respective partner.

[sturchling]

Salt prompt where there are a few transfer students from Italy attending Francois Dupont for three weeks and as soon as they see Lila one breaks down in tears, another starts screaming at her, and the last one stares at her in horror and hatred. Reasons why are up to you.

Here you go! Sorry it took a while, things got kind of hectic for me these last few days. Anyway, hope you like it!

Marinette thought this would just be another day in class. She had given up trying to expose Lila to the class. The class wouldn’t listen to Marinette, so she would just wait until Lila exposed herself. In the meantime, Marinette just avoided hanging out with the class when she knew Lila would be around. Things in the class were still ok. Marinette was still friends with the class and they all got along. Things only got tense when Lila came and tried to turn everything Marinette said against her. Marinette was looking forward to the day that Lila would be exposed. Little did she know that today would be the day that began Lila’s down fall.

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Marinette actually arrived to school early for once and was flagged down by Mrs. Bustier. “Good morning Marinette. I wanted to let you know we are going to have some foreign exchange students join us today. They will be studying here for a month, and three of them got assigned to our class. Since you are class rep, I will expect you to be a good example for them and help them get used to how things work at the school.” Mrs. Bustier walked towards Mr. Damocles’ office, probably to talk with him about these exchange students, and Marinette went to the class room to wait.

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When Marinette walked into the class, she saw that Lila had already started her show for the day. Today’s headline lie is how she helped the president of Italy pass a law to improve the carbon emission rates of the country. Marinette just walked to her seat and ignored the nonsense the Italian was saying. While Lila continued to entertain the class, Marinette wondered about the new exchange students. Mrs. Bustier walked in a few minutes later and got the class’ attention, “Class, I have some exciting news. For the next month, we will be joined by three exchange students from Italy.” That made Marinette pause. It was a very small chance, but what if these kids new Lila? What if they know she is a liar? Would Marinette gain some allies for this month?

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Lila was terrified. She was hoping that these students weren’t from her old school. If they knew her, this could ruin everything! Mrs. Bustier continued, seemingly not noticing the shift in the mood, “I expect you all to make them feel welcome here, and help them if they need it. Their names are Emilio, Carina, and Alessa. You three may come in now!” Three students walk into the class room. One is a taller boy with black hair and brown eyes, who must be Emilio. The girl standing in the middle is a shorter girl with blonde hair and green eyes, who introduced herself as Carina. Finally, there is a tall girl with auburn hair and blue eyes, who must be Alessa. Everything seemed normal, until the three new students see Lila. Then all hell breaks loose.

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The moment that the three new students see Lila, chaos descends on the class. Carina bursts into tears the second she spots Lila. Alessa starts yelling at Lila in rapid Italian, that the class couldn’t understand. Emilio pulls Carina behind him and just glares at Lila with eyes full of venom. The class is beyond confused. It is obvious that Alessa is yelling at Lila, but why do these three seemingly not like her? Mrs. Bustier is trying to gain control of the class again, but it takes a while. Finally, Alessa pauses in her tirade long enough for someone to speak. Alya speaks up, “Wait! Why are you so angry at Lila? And why is she crying?” Alya asked, gesturing towards Carina. Alessa turns to Alya, “Mad doesn’t even begin to cover it. I despise that girl for what she did to Carina. She used to attend our school. She bullied Carina horribly. Constantly tripping and threatening her. She even tricked the school into suspending Carina by saying that Carina had destroyed her project for science class. She tried to ruin Carina’s life, all because Carina was the first to realize she was nothing but a liar.” That is when chaos descended on the class once more.

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The class began yelling at the new students, trying to defend their friend. The class was sure that the new exchange students were lying. Afterall Lila wouldn’t lie to them. Carina, Alessa, and Emilio quickly realized that this class was completely under Lila’s control. They all believed Lila’s every word. It was too much for Carina, who rushed from the room. Alessa, and Emilio followed after her to try and help her calm down. Lila took this opportunity to bust out the crocodile tears, and come up with a story about how those three were actually the bullies. “They used to be mean to me back in Italy. They were part of the reason I was glad to leave. They tried to frame me as a bully because I couldn’t get them tickets to a Jagged Stone concert.” While the class comforted their friend, no one noticed Marinette slip from the room. She walked into the hall and saw the three exchange students sitting on a bench. Carina seemed much calmer, now that they were out of sight of Lila. Marinette definitely felt empathy for Carina, she had gone through almost the exact experience. She approached the small group, and when they noticed her approaching, they seemed to tense up. Emilio was the one to break the silence, “What do you want?” he asked defensively. Marinette smiled kindly at them, “I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know how rough things can get when dealing with Lila.” The group of three looked shocked. Carina quietly asked, “You know about her?” Marinette nodded, “That she is a liar? Yeah. She did the same thing to me. When she realized that I knew about her, she started harassing me too. It is nice to have other who also know about her. Adrien, the blonde boy in the front row, also knows she is a liar.” The group seemed to relax, knowing that Marinette believed them. Marinette returned to the classroom for a moment to let Mrs. Bustier know that she was going to show the new students around the school and then left to rejoin Alessa, Emilio and Carina.

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Days went by, and Alessa, Emilio, and Carina stuck closely to Marinette. The rest of the class was still treating them coldly, but they were happy to have a friend in Marinette. While the small group wished Lila had been exposed in the initial encounter, they knew it would take some more time. They didn’t realize it, but Lila was about to make a major mistake and expose herself. Lila was nervous that the class would start listening to the new Italians in the class. Lila decided that she had to make sure the three would keep their mouths shut this time. She waited until she saw the weak link go to the restroom alone. Carina was just about to leave, when Lila walked in and cornered her. “Hello, Carina. I just wanted to make sure you still remember our little rules from Italy. If you dare breath a word against me to anyone but your loser friends or try to expose my lies to the class, I will destroy you here, just like I did back then. I already destroyed Marinette, and she was their best friend. So, they will obviously believe me, their close friend, over you, a stranger that just joined the class. They will believe whatever I tell them. Be sure to mind what you say.” Lila didn’t waste anymore time on this loser and went back to the cafeteria where her court awaited.

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What Lila didn’t know is that Alessa had spoken with Rose earlier. Rose seemed the kindest of their new class and Alessa thought she would be safe to approach. She asked Rose if she would just humor her, for the first 15 minutes of lunch. Alessa knew that Lila wouldn’t be able to resist the opportunity to approach and threaten Carina, if she saw Carina alone. She told Carina, Emilio, and Marinette the plan and they all agreed. Alessa, and Rose waited inside the stalls in the bathroom. Carina made sure to leave the cafeteria alone, in full view of Lila. Lila took the bait immediately. Alessa had also made sure to hide her phone to record the whole interaction, so they had proof for the class, in case Rose’s testimony wasn’t enough. Rose was shocked by what Lila had said. She couldn’t believe their sweet friend could sound so mean. When she and Alessa emerged from the stalls and went into the locker room, they saw Carina sitting with Emilio and Marinette. Rose teared up, thinking of how Lila had mentioned Marinette. She quickly apologized, not just to Marinette, but Carina as well. Rose got the video from Alessa and sent it to the rest of the class, except for Lila of course.

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The class was horrified by what they saw. How could Lila do that? Lila was really a liar? Marinette had been right all along. The class went back to the class room, looking for the lying Italian who had left the cafeteria earlier to ‘work on her newest proposal for Prince Ali’. Lila had been sitting alone in the classroom for about five minutes. Mrs. Bustier was still out for lunch, and Lila was looking at some official looking fake documents, in case someone came in. Little did Lila know, the class was already on their way and they were furious. As soon as the class walked in, Lila felt a chill go down her spine. She looked up into the venomous glares of her classmates, shocked that they were looking at her like that. What had happened? The class started yelling at her, everyone at once, and Lila couldn’t make out what they were saying. She looked behind the mass of angry faces to see Marinette, Emilio, Alessa, and Carina smirking at her. She knew instantly they had done something to cause this.

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Lila eventually found out exactly what had happened. She had no idea that anyone else had been in that bathroom. If it had just been Alessa, Lila could have done something, but the group had thought ahead in recruiting Rose as a witness. A teacher eventually heard the commotion and came to figure out what was happening in Mrs. Bustier’s room. Alya showed him the video and he immediately took Lila to Mr. Damocles’ office since the video showed her obviously threatening a student.  Lila’s mother was called and was horrified to hear what her daughter had done. Mr. Damocles’ spoke with Carina, as well as Emilio, Alessa, and Marinette. When everything Lila had done to the group came to light, Mr. Damocles’ was speechless. Since threatening and bullying other students is a major violation of the student code of conduct, Lila was expelled. The rest of the class apologized to Carina and the others for believing Lila. They also apologized profusely to Marinette. They may not have turned on her, but they also didn’t believe her. They felt horrible that they didn’t even listen to Marinette’s concerns. Everything was forgiven and class became very close once more, happy that the lying Italian was gone from their lives for good.

[letoscrawls]

What are your Extremely Italian Opinions? Anything from politics to pasta, drop some hot takes

mmmmm good question! even though i'm not a proud italian as i'm very critical of this country and i'd love to live abroad in the future, i do have typical italian opinions that i'm ready to die for. I’m sure these will be mainly about food, but let’s see:

-say whatever you want, but italian food is the best food in the entire world, not only it’s healthy but it’s also delicious and no nation can compare :) no you can’t change my mind :) every time i watch Ratatouille i cringe so bad at the beginning when they say that French cuisine is known to be the best in the world??? that’s so false and i don’t even find it funny, we italians take food so seriously and if you dare criticize something about our food we take it very personal, yes, IT IS THAT DEEP.

-idk if it's a take but i find it funny that we don't use ice that much?? like i was so shocked to learn that smoothies are made WITH ICE?? we almost never use it, we definitely don't put it in coffee and we have this strange belief that ice gives you stomachache, especially if you want to take a bath, we usually wait two or three hours before taking a bath after a meal, especially if there's ice in it somewhere lol i think it's a typical Italian Grandma Advice but we all follow it religiously. Even though i know it's bizarre i can't help but wait at least two hours after my meal before having any kind of contact with water

-No one dubs movies and cartoons like italians. Our voice actors are superior (but the italian Rebels dub is terrible, don’t watch Rebels in italian, everyone sounds very bad except for Thrawn, surprisingly his voice better than the original and i've already talked about this in my ig stories some time ago haha) and i often watch shows and movies in italian even tho it's "trendy" nowadays to watch everything in english. Tbh i think that  a country with a strong tradition of voice acting shouldn't neglect it in favor of the original language, just because something was made in english it doesn't make it better. For example, the prequel trilogy is insanely better in italian, while i love Hayden's performance as Anakin i think that sometimes...it lacks emotion? the italian dub makes up for those parts, i couldn't understand why international fans used to despise the PT so much at first, especially the acting. There isn't one single character in the prequels that sounds bad, really. Same thing goes for Disney classics, i find them 100% funnier in italian (the most memorable example is Emperor's New Groove, the main characters are voiced by some of the funniest comedians we have, they all did an amazing job), even tho some characters are voiced by celebrities who don't do voice acting on a regular basis the result is always phenomenal. Honorable mention to the Genie in Aladdin who is voiced by Gigi Proietti, an actor and comedian of immesurable talent who passed away a few days ago, his performance is on the same level of Robin Williams' imo. So yeah, i'm a huge fan of italian voice acting in case you didn't notice

-regarding politics, lots of people here say that we have the "best democracy in the world" or something like that.........eh, i highly doubt it. I hate this country because there is no meritocracy, you're most likely to succeed if you have good connections or a powerful family. The worst part is that this applies to EVERYTHING and it's terrible. Also there's a big imbalance between North Italy and South Italy, so it's hard to succeed and have access to a good education if you're born in the South and you're poor. And it's a shame. I was lucky enough to live near a very good university so i pay for taxes and nothing else, but only those who are born in wealthy families in the south can afford university in the north as universities in the south are not that good in general. it's really a shame bc south italy is freaking beautiful but the government doesn't spend the same amount of time, energy and money and that's also one of the reasons crime rates are so high there. truly every single issue in Italy could be resolved by funding our education system but most politicians don't give a flying fuck about it and it shows :/

-University in italy is considered a privilege, something that people do because they are too lazy to go to work and get "a real job". we have one of the lowest rates of student getting a degree in europe and yet a lot of people are expected to be jobless for years after graduating uni. it's crazy. there is no respect or consideration for university students since you're not obliged by law to attend one but it's your choice. university professors are terrible, they act like we don't have a personal life and in most cases will make everything so hard that you'll need to take an exam even 15 times before passing it. a friend of mine who is a prodigy in Math attended a really good university in Switzerland and he told me that you can take exams a max of 3 times there but you usually don't need to because they are much easier to pass?? also exams are so hard to pass, my degree is a living hell, you have to take multiple tests, do projects and assignments to pass one freaking exam, while the entire world has the paper system, so you basically write a paper and then the teacher grades it and guess what??? YOU LEARN STUFF ANYWAY. i hate that university in italy takes so much years, tears and mental energy to finish and this leads me to my next point

-healthcare. Italy has one of the best healthcare systems in the world because, well, it's free! You have some kind of bills to pay, but they are not as expensive as in the US, the country got a huge debt at some point in the 60s/70s (i guess??) to afford free healthcare but it was really worth it!! HOWEVER, i think it's pointless to have free healthcare for literally anything besides mental health. sadly, mental health is a tough topic here, if you suffer from a mental illness you're considered crazy, an attention seeker, incapable of being a normal citizen and stuff like that. therapists are super expensive and only wealthy people can afford them. personally, i can't afford one and i would love to since i suffer from anxiety and maybe other things (but i guess i'll never know since my country doesn't give a fuck lmao). and university students are most likely to have mental health issues due to the terrible conditions we live in, yet society ignores us, this results in very high suicide rates among students in their twenties. i honestly hate it so fucking much, especially because studying psychology is considered "easy" and you'll probably be jobless after your degree. psychologists are doctors, they deserve to be paid like any other doctor because they save lives, for real.

So uhm this was supposed to be funny but ended being very critical hahahaha

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

ᴊᴏᴇꜱᴛᴀʀ ꜱʏɴᴅɪᴄᴀᴛᴇ | Yakuza!AU | Head Canons | 19+ [𝕁𝕁𝔹𝔸]

[JOESTARS] [JOBROS i] [JOBROS ii] [JOBROS iii] [JOBROS iv]

Here is the final part to the headcanons~! I’ll definitely be writing and throwing out the headcanons and one shots etc soon~! Which also means you all are more than welcome to make any requests you’re curious about with characters from this AU~!

» » Admin Ko

TW; Mentions of Gore and bodily harm

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𝔼𝕣𝕞𝕖𝕤 ℂ𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕠 [23]

Like Okuyasu and Bruno, Ermes is Jolyne’s right hand woman. Though instead of a hierarchy, the pair work side by side whilst bouncing ideas off one another to help further their reign throughout the prison. 

In Green Dolphin, they’re considered the bosses instead of the single boss. Even Jolyne’s siblings see them both as a pair rather than just Jolyne. Once, Ermes has asked if the thought had bothered her but the multicolored hair woman merely waved it off with a scoff. “You think I can run this shit alone? It’s easier to work side by side with someone you trust than through some shitty system.”

Those words stuck to Ermes and she completes her job to the absolute fullest because of it. When facing other commanders from other factions she doesn’t falter and holds herself quite well. Her strength falling in line with her persuasive swindling skills and mean right hook when need be. 

Between herself and Jolyne, she’s more of the one who likes to think out her plans of attack and torture rather than running in head first. Though of course she’s the one who ends up running in as back-up for Jolyne when the younger runs head first into danger.

𝔽𝕠𝕠 𝔽𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 [21]

One of Jolyne’s top assassins. F.F., as she’s better known as, isn’t quite in touch with her emotions and performs killings with ease and absolutely no remorse. She does ask question in mortality, and when given the answer to follow her heart she ends up slaughtering for the sake of what Jolyne desires or what would be most beneficial to her. 

Her trust for the other commanders falls rather low, the exception being Ermes, but other than both bosses she doesn’t feel a lick of connection to the other two commanders.

Besides being the top assassin, F.F. is also the best at getting rid of the bodies within the prison if the staff happens to be incompetent or scared shitless to even move from their posted spots.

Once made one of the new staff members clean a newly dismembered body with nothing but the bare minimum of cleaning supplies. After that she was told by Ermes to not break the new meat too quickly less they lose the last mental capacities of the new toys given to them.

ℕ𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕚𝕤𝕠 𝔸𝕟𝕒𝕤𝕦𝕚 [22]

Another one of Jolyne’s assassins. Though he is much more of the stable than his two fellow assassins, Anasui has his own fair share of moments of emotional relapse. Similar to F.F., he loses touch of his emotions once he gets into the habit of slaughtering and dismembering remains. 

He is one of the only members to have learned of Diavolo’s secret methods of psychological torture when he and Jolyne had visited Giorno in Italy. Least to say, when they had to send a ‘message’ to a pesky organization he sent them their agent back in 22 pieces resting in a beautifully clear resin tomb. 

Out of the jobs he does, he much prefers the torture and interrogation methods rather than going out to assassinate. He has much more fun within the prison than out of it. 

𝕎𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 ℝ𝕖𝕡𝕠𝕣𝕥 [24]

The most unstable assassin under Jolyne’s chain of commands. With his mood swings, he’s been put under hypnosis and with the right phrase (That only Ermes and Jolyne know) he can instantly snap and become a psychotic emotionless killer. 

He’s the one who takes care of business the most outside of the prison and reports back practically daily at the strike of 7AM. It baffles the two bosses to no end, but have learned to work around the odd quirk Weather has. 

Despite his cold exterior and expressionless face, Weather actually thoroughly enjoys being out from the prison and relishes every second that he’s out from the suffocating world. Of course he doesn’t hate it per say, but it can definitely be a place where the air itself was being shoved mercilessly down your throat. 

𝔻𝕚𝕖𝕘𝕠 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕠 [27]

Dio Brando’s younger brother, and the step brother for all Joestars within the family tree. Though out of all the Joestars, the Englishmen found himself feeling more closely associated with Johnny than any of the others. 

Unlike his older brother Dio, Diego has based himself within the west coast of the Americas. His faction being based more in California and the lower southwest. Though he won’t admit it, he’s rather glad that he has connections to the other Joestars within the country.

Compared to Dio, Diego much prefers to use his resources to their full potential to claw his way up to the top. Like Johnny, he has invested himself in the competition business as well as a small interest in the police force. 

Diego absolutely loves to circle and prey on his victim’s mental state. The stronger it is, the more he enjoys absolutely decimating every little mental wall they have put up. 

Surprisingly enough, he actually frequents trips to the east coast to meet up with Joseph and Jolyne whenever he has a moment to spare. Again, unlike his older brother Diego likes to make solid connections with people who have more power or control than him. In the end it helps him grow more as an individual and to eventually take over himself. 

He rarely will call Dio. The only times the Brando pair will speak is when the whole family is back at the Joestar estate on official business. 

He also makes frequent trips to Italy for purchases in arms from Giorno as well as to get closer to his ‘favorite’ Joestar. To Diego, there’s a weird sort of connection he gets from Giorno in terms of connection, but says nothing of it. To this day, he’s still doing research on the younger’s past.

He actually doesn’t hate Johnny. Instead, it’s more of a competitive  tension between the two on who can do what faster, better, or efficiently. 

𝔾𝕪𝕣𝕠 ℤ𝕖𝕡𝕡𝕖𝕝𝕚 [28]

Johnny’s most trusted right hand man. Within the faction, he is the only really well known fighter and advisor for the male; but after Johnny’s incapacitation Gyro has taken on the role as Johnny’s personal body guard. 

He actually doesn’t do any of the mundane simplistic things for Johnny, instead he still treats the other as if he was never incapacitated in the first place and will discuss strategies as well as business deals with potential clients. 

Besides being a main combatant and advisor, Gyro is also the main medic within the faction. He gets visits from not only those in his own faction, but by Joseph’s, Jolyne’s, and to his utter surprise Diego. 

It’s no secret that Gyro absolutely despises Diego, but forces himself to put up with the other’s antics for the sake of a business front and to keep himself from entangling himself anymore into the Joestar-Brando mess. 

Besides being a medic, he takes absolute pride in being the bringer of hope and the destroyer of dreams when he visits a mauled victim. 

Practically relishes in the fact that he can heal someone’s injuries just to be able to break or kill them. It may seem like a god-complex (and it is) but it’s just his dirty little secret and Johnny knows all to well of this. Thus resulting in the Italian man having a nice list of victims to release his urges on.

ℍ𝕠𝕥 ℙ𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕤 [26]

A faction commander to both Diego and Johnny. When she was first faced with treason for sabotage and being a mole she was put in an interrogation between the two. Though whatever had happened within the interrogation she ended coming out unharmed and with a new deal to be a commander for both men. 

Despite the amount of work unloaded from both of them, she handles it all with ease. Gaining Lisa Lisa’s approval from Day 1 when she had met all of the other commanders and connections to the Joestar family. 

In a sense, she’s a hired hit man who was officially bought to be a Joestar hit man. 

She definitely enjoys getting a clean kill, but the best moment she had was during a recon mission and she had ended up killing her target by stepping on his throat with her stiletto and practically puncturing a hole through the windpipe while  grinding the heel in as the victim choked and died beneath her.

After that moment and description no one really fucks with her and treats her with the utmost respect.

[elizabethsharmon]

skamfr + eurovision headcanons

on Tuesday Lucas went to Eliott after school and came home just as the first semi final was about to start. Mika asked him if he wants to watch it with him and Lisa and Lucas just laughed and said he doesn’t care about eurovision and then Mika gave him a small lecture about the importance of the show and how music is a universal language of love and it’s a show about tolerance and love and understanding of other people and their cultures and blah blah blah so Lucas agreed just to shut him up. Besides they had pizza

he ended up enjoying it more than he thought. the san marino’s say na na na nanananananananana kept killing him for the next 24 hours even though he absolutely hated the song

Mika didn’t have to convince Lucas to watch with them the second semi final. He was already ready half an hour before the show, telling Mika he watched all the iconic performances he has sent him (“Kitten, you absolutely have to watch it”). Mika was disappointed he didn’t like Slavko Kalezić’s Space (”Lucas, but you didn’t pay attention to the lyrics!!! Just listen to this: I have my suit on, no need to worry // Give me your body, let’s write a story // Our body language // Rocket to the stars How can you not like this song, Kitten?? It’s a gay anthem!!” Lucas just rolled his eyes) but he liked Lordi, Verka Serduchka and The Most Iconic Eurovision Performance aka Love, Love, Peace, Peace (which reminded him of Corentin’s hit Amour, Love, Amour, Love) so he forgave him

Lucas didn’t like any performances from the second semi final (except Azerbaijan and Norway) but he enjoyed trash talking every other song

he invited Eliott and le gang to the coloc to watch the final with him, Mika and Lisa. Boys weren’t sure if they want to spend their Saturday evening like that, but Lucas managed to convince them

Mika is wearing his silver outfit from kiffance party and he asked the boys to come one hour earlier because he needed to lecture them about eurovision’s history. They were annoyed and looked at Lucas to help them but he just shrugged and said that he had to listen to it, so they have to do that too

Lisa gets annoyed by too many people in the apparment so she watches the live stream in her room. From time to time she shouts at them to shut up

Lucas despises Czech Republic’s song with every fiber of his being. “Seriously dude, we get it, you were 13, you had a neighbour, she moved out, you stayed, jfc, get over it!” Basile is annoyed cause he genuinely likes the song.

Lucas complains all the time how dramatic is that guy from Russia. Everyone just looks at him with a “are you really saying HE is dramatic???” look. Lucas gets annoyed. Sometimes he really hates them.

Lucas lipsyncs to San Marino’s na na na na na na na na na and when they call him out for liking it he says that it’s so bad that it’s even good

When Sweden’s song comes up, Eliott ends up liking it more than he thought. He starts singing along and Lucas is slightly embarrassed by this but hey. that’s the man of his dreams. he films him for his ig story

Lucas is trash talking every single song until some cheesy ballad like Netherlands’ song comes up. He starts tearing up and Eliott asks concerned “baby, what’s wrong??” and Lucas says “nothing… it’s just… this song reminds me of us.” Everyone rolls their eyes (except Eliott who is very moved by this declaration even though the song was shitty)

When Iceland starts performing everyone goes crazy. Absolutely. Crazy.

Mika stans Bilal. He’s been singing Roi all the time since he got qualified to represent France in January. Lucas and Eliott at first roll their eyes but when he comes on stage they suddenly feel it and want to sing with him. Mika tells them to shut up so he can appreciate this moment but he quickly gaves in and they all sing together

le gang likes Mahmood’s Soldi and they find the lyrics and sing the second half of the song with him. they butcher italian, but who cares. Mika and Lucas talk all the time how they’re so proud of Mahmood because he is an openly gay living in Salvini’s Italy and his song is amazing. They might even tear up because of that but no one says a word

Lucas is bragging how Luca from Switzerland qualified to the final and Eliot from Belgium did not. Eliott is sad. Lucas says he loves him anyway and that they can’t be together in every parallel universe. Secretly, he’s really annoyed with Luca from Switzerland and his basic fuckboyish song and he thinks he doesn’t deserve his name.

at first boys thought it would all be lame but then they give in and actually like the show - or more like they like Lucas’ reactions. At one point, during Australia’s performance, he starts jumping on the couch (because there’s nothing holding him down) and Yann stares at him lovingly, thinking “that’s my best friend”. He gets emotional. Eliott sees that and also gets emo

they all trash talk inviting Madonna to perform. Mika tries to be positive and tells them to shut up but he quickly agrees cause let’s be real, the only icons they care about are Conchita, Måns and one and only Verka Serduchka (boys are confused at first but afterwards they decide to stan forever)

when they’re waiting for 12 points from all the countries, Lucas gets bored and decides to mute the tv and he lipsyncs all the spokespersons. Le gang and Eliott cheer him, but Mika is clearly not amused (”What did I do in another life to deserve this Kitten ruining my Eurovision night, Eliott please collect your boyfriend”)

they all cheer when their favourite wins. they all shout in anger when someone with awful song wins. Mika blames the new voting systems. The old one was much better

[firesidefantasy]

so last night i realised i had almost hit 500 posts on this account. and then i had the brilliant, genius idea to make a post with 500 facts about monster house for my 500th post.

this was not a genius idea in any way shape or form.

i am not a genius.

but i did it anyway, so now i present to you:

five-hundred-fucking-facts about monster house

enjoy. 

KENZI

1) Kenzi was abandoned as a baby 2) She was adopted by Monster House 3) She does not know when her birthday is 4) Her best friend growing up was Toby 5) Kenzi thought she was a vampire when she was a kid 6) She went around biting people’s necks for weeks 7) Kenzi loves photography, Instagram, and modelling 8) She has ran four marathons and six 10ks 9) She has been dying her hair since she was 14 10) Kenzi’s favourite chocolate brand is Cadbury’s 11) She loves cooking and hosting parties 12) She hates being human and wishes she was a monster too 13) She is almost fluent in French 14) Kenzi has no idea what she wants to be when she’s older 15) She never wants to leave Monster House 16) Kenzi is always chewing gum

HARLOW 17) Harlow dyes her hair black 18) She plays drums because her dad told her it was for boys 19) She plays basketball because her dad told her it was for boys 20) Her mum died three years ago and Harlow has never got over it 21) She lives with her dad, their relationship is recovering 22) Harlow won’t leave the house without a beanie 23) She loves video games like overwatch and call of duty 24) She is absolutely shit at video games 25) Doritos are her favourite snack 26) Harlow has lost count of how many cousins she has 27) If she could be any monster, she’d be a vampire 28) She’s in a college band called ‘4am’ 29) They’ve played three actual gigs so far 30) Harlow wants to be in a famous band 31) Harlow does NOT want to ever get a real job 32) She writes a lot of songs 33) Nobody will ever see these songs 34) She hates the beach 35) The only thing she hates more than the beach is spelling errors 36) She also hates vegetables and weather over 20 degrees C 37) She loves the sound of rain and thunder 38) She hoards TV boxsets and prefers them over Netflix 39) She loves antique stores and charity shops 40) She has an impressive vinyl collection

TOBY 41) Toby is bisexual but prefers guy 42) He’s known he was bisexual since discovering Tom Holland 43) His favourite superhero is Iron Man 44) Spider man is a close second 45) Toby wanted to be a superhero when he was a kid 46) Now he wants to be a super villain (#edgyteen) 47) He’s enrolled in school part time 48) Avoiding sunlight makes school difficult 49) The kids at school joke that he’s a vampire because of this 50) They don’t know why that’s so funny 51) He plays bass guitar but never lets anyone else listen 52) Except Matty. Sometimes he joins in with the ‘drums’ 53) Toby loves going to the skate park at night 54) He once wrote a 500 word essay on why the moon is better than the sun 55) He knows every constellation and loves stargazing 56) He loves sitting on his dad’s balcony and watching the stars 57) Toby doesn’t know who his mum is 58) Metal and rock music is his favourite 59) He chews on his finger to satisfy his desire to bite things 60) Sometimes he’s tempted to see if he could bite his finger off 61) He never has 62) Toby loves tomato ketchup 63) Immortality intimidates him 64) He only wears band tee shirts 65) He starts wearing beanies everywhere after meeting Harlow 66) Toby idolises Harlow 67) His favourite food is pancakes with chocolate sauce 68) Kenzi makes him pancakes to apologise after they fight 69) Toby buys her bars of chocolate to apologise 70) Kenzi and Toby bicker a lot 71) They are also best friends 72) Toby’s favourite period of history is the Roman emperors 73) Caligula was his favourite emperor 74) Toby almost turned Kenzi when they were 14 75) He despises pop music 76) Kenzi and Toby fight over nothing more often than pop music 77) Custard makes him want to throw up

KAI 78) Kai has six older sisters 79) He is one of two guys in the witches coven 80) He speaks French and Italian (almost) fluently 81) He volunteers at the local animal shelter 82) He does not get along with his family 83) Kai tries to fit in but he isn’t very good at it 84) He gets very upset if his hair doesn’t look right 85) He struggles with dysphoria but his parents won’t let him get T 86) Kai loves doing jigsaws and watching reality shows 87) He listens to music to drown out his parents arguments 88) His oldest sister Natalia is his favourite 89) She cut his hair and bought him guys clothes after he came out 90) Natalia plays board games with him and helps with homework 91) Kai loves baking - especially banana bread 92) He hates bananas but could eat banana bread all day 93) Being a witch is hard and he’s really really bad at it 94) Kai once turned a dining room chair into a frog 95) He also turned his mother’s earrings into a donkey 96) They never let him keep the animals 97) Pop music and indie rock are his favourites 98) Kai is scared of the dark 99) Science and maths make no sense to him 100) He plans on leaving the witches coven when he’s 18

PHILLIP 101) Philip is a history professor at Seabrooke University 102) He was born in 1893 under the reign of Queen Victoria 103) He campaigned with the suffragettes - and even broke a window once 104) He is a hardcore liberal and despises the conservative party 105) He attended the 1908 summer Olympics held in London 106) He once had a fling with a maid of George V’s 107) Phillip had entered a competition to be on the titanic 108) He was an engineer during world war 2 109) His nose was broken at a protest for women to be given degrees 110) Phillip has been married three times 111) The first died, the second left him for another man 112) The third was a Vegas marriage about 30 years prior 113) Phillip is straight - but he’s experimented extensively in the past 114) He does the newspaper crossword puzzle every morning 115) He bans TV until after 3pm 116) Phillip moved to Monster House in the 70’s 117) He despises the movie ‘Twilight’ above all else 118) He is the one who decided to adopt Kenzi 119) Phillip is essentially in charge of Monster House 120) He adores barbecues with his family 121) He hates Russia, incorrect grammar, and coffee

MATTY 122) Toby brought a stray dog in one day 123) The next morning, a toddler was asleep in their living room 124) Phillip decided to keep him 125) His hobbies include chewing people’s shoes and phone chargers 126) He has broken exactly seven bones 127) There is no soul clumsier than Matty 128) His face is full of freckles and his cheeks are always red 129) He runs everywhere 130) He wants to be a footballer or an astronaut when he’s older 131) Matty breaks Phillip’s morning TV ban so he can watch cartoons 132) His favourite game is fetch 133) Toby created a machine for him that throws a ball over and over 134) Matty hates it - he likes playing with an actual person 135) His wolf form is small, fluffy and a little too blonde 136) Phillip has been assured that he will get less blonde as he grows up 137) Toby once tried to enter him in a dog competition 138) They won £20 and bought the biggest ice creams they could 139) Matty loves porridge almost as much as he loves shoes and Toby 140) He has an imaginary friend called Boris who he blames for everything

CALLIE 141) Callie is half fae and half human 142) Her full name is Calypso, but everybody calls her Callie 143) She cannot tell lies, but is excellent at talking around the truth 144) She’s introverted and shy - but also amazing at public speaking 145) She wants to be a legal aid barrister 146) Her hair is naturally brown but she dyes it red 147) She plays acoustic guitar in 4am - the same band as Harlow 148) Her roommate is a werewolf but she doesn’t know about it yet 149) She has travelled to France and Italy 150) But she wants to travel the world 151) Her bedroom walls are covered in maps 152) She has an emergency supply of snacks in a room at all times 153) Her biggest dream is to have her own library room once day 154) With a secret bookshelf door, of course 155) Her lava lamp and beanbags are her prized possessions 156) She does not have a good relationship with her parents 157) She struggles with insomnia and rarely sleeps 158) Coffee is her one true love 159) She adores long car rides and she adores driving 160) She works part time at a coffee shop 161) Her car is her other prized possession 162) Callie can devour bags of skittles in an instant 163) She forgets everything in her personal life 164) And remembers everything in her academic life 165) She loves fire and will sit and stare at it for hours 166) Sometimes she goes to the local aquarium to study 167) Change is her worst enemy - everything needs to be consistent 168) She has been a straight A student all her life 169) She goes for a long walk every Saturday afternoon 170) Callie writes songs when she’s feeling bad

MILO 171) Hiding antlers in public is the bane of his existence 172) He is part of a group who want to tell humans about monsters 173) Milo does not particularly like humans 174) He has curly blonde hair that is usually a mess 175) One of his eyes is darker blue than the other 176) He loves blanket forts and fairy lights and hot chocolate 177) He has a part time job delivering pizzas 178) This means he gets a discount on pizzas, which he takes advantage of 179) Percy Jackson is the main reason he’s doing a classics degree 180) He enjoys writing fantasy books in his free time 181) He is reasonably fluent in Ancient Greek and Latin 182) ‘Out of Bounds’ signs are a welcoming invitation to Milo 183) He will explore everything and anything 184) Milo wants to travel to South America the most 185) He has two mums 186) They both adore Callie 187) He goes rock climbing in his free time 188) This is so he can climb trees, fences, and monuments better 189) He claims he’s climbed several mountains 190) Callie does not believe this claim 191) He was not raised in Seabrooke and had few monster friends as a kid 192) Milo is a nymph 193) His father is one of his mother’s best friends - also a nymph 194) His ‘father’ taught him to garden and to bake 195) Milo never called him dad - he was always Uncle Barney 196) He loves growing his own flowers 197) Nymph magic allows him to grow the most beautiful plants and flowers 198) It also allows him to bake exceptional cakes and cookies 199) He adores his younger brother and sister 200) He is double jointed and left handed

KENZI AND HARLOW 201) Making out is their favourite pastime 202) Harlow spends most of her free time at Monster House 203) They enjoy joking about how ‘platonic’ their relationship is 204) Kenzi loves cooking for Harlow 205) They spend a lot of time watching TV shows together 206) Stranger Things and Friends were their last binge-watches 207) Harlow is always invited round for Friday Board Game Night 208) Kenzi constantly steals Harlow’s clothes 209) Harlow loves playing with Kenzi’s hair 210) Harlow loves holding Kenzi’s hand 211) Harlow just loves touching Kenzi as much as possible 212) They both have a years pass to the local petting zoo 213) Kenzi goes to all of Harlow’s band gigs and basketball games 214) She wants to set up a cheer leading squad for the basketball team 215) Harlow just wants to see Kenzi in a cheerleader costume 216) Harlow asked Kenzi to be her girlfriend 217) Kenzi said I love you first 218) They’re planning on getting an apartment together after graduating 219) Also a dog 220) Harlow adores getting Kenzi to play (and fail at) video games 221) Kenzi is a massive flirt - Harlow does not appreciate it 222) Harlow once stabbed Kenzi on the hand whilst cooking together 223) Kenzi and Harlow do not cook together 224) They bicker a lot 225) But Harlow adores Kenzi more than anything else, and vice versa

TOBY AND KAI 226) Toby only got the guts to ask Kai out because his dad made him 227) They are polar opposites in just about every way 228) Toby didn’t know what being transgender meant before meeting Kai 229) Toby calls Kai ‘sunshine’ 230) Kai calls Toby ‘grumpy guts’ for the most part 231) They fall asleep on the phone together a lot 232) They also fall asleep in the same bed a lot 232) Kai’s parents do not like vampires so they don’t know about Toby 233) They met through the Monster House toddler group when they were kids 234) They both went to the Monster House study group as kids/teenagers 234) Nowadays, they ‘study’ in Toby’s room instead 235) Kai drove Toby mad up until very recently 236) It wasn’t exactly love at first site 237) Toby threw up on Kai - the hatred only grew from there 238) Over time, Toby developed a soft spot for Kai 239) Nowadays, Kai still drives him crazy, but in a good sorta way 240) They have every intention of moving in together after school ends 241) Kai has a drawer of clothes at Toby’s place 242) Toby has punched six people in defence of Kai 243) One was an eleven year old. He has no regrets 244) Toby frequently takes Kai stargazing 245) Toby also taught him how to skate 246) Kai speaks French to Toby and he loves it 247) Sometimes Kai takes Toby to volunteer at the animal shelter with him 248) Their biggest fights are over pop music and science 249) They plan on getting a turtle when they move in together 250) Kai loves sitting on Toby’s lap 251) He also loves stealing his sweaters 252) He also loves fixing his hair 253) He frequently picks flowers for Toby and spends hours arranging them 254) Kai also loves falling asleep on Toby 255) Toby kisses Kai’s cheek a lot 256) Toby adores Kai, but he rarely admits to it 257) He took Kai to a Troye Sivan concert in February 2019 258) Kai sends Toby selfies a lot throughout the day 259) Toby saves every single one to his phone - but won’t admit to it 260) Toby’s dad r e a l l y wants him to marry Kai

CALLIE AND MILO 261) They met when they were both searching an abandoned church 262) They thought the other was a ghost 263) For the longest time, Callie was ‘ghost girl’ in Milo’s phone 264) Their first date was in Starbucks 265) But they tell people it was back in that abandoned church 266) They are both too terrified to ever go back to that church 267) They have plants to travel the world together 268) Callie’s phone background is Milo and his messy bed head 269) Milo’s background is Callie in one of his sweaters 270) Callie hoards Milo’s sweaters 271) Milo practically lives at Callie’s apartment so he doesn’t mind 272) Callie only really sleeps when she’s with Milo 273) Milo likes playing with her hair while she reads out loud 274) The sound of her voice calms his anxiety 275) Callie frequently plays guitar and sings for Milo 276) He considers himself her number one fan 277) Callie likes listening to him ramble about history and classics 278) She often falls asleep while he talks - he never seems to notice 279) Callie drives Milo everywhere 280) Milo always makes the best road trip playlists and snacks 281) Milo’s mum’s adore Callie 282) They go for family dinner every other Sunday 283) They are going to Greece together over the summer holidays 284) Their opinions on monster politics differ wildly 285) Callie enjoys teaching Milo how to play guitar 286) Milo grows his own flowers to give Callie 287) He also enjoys cooking for her 288) Sometimes he brings her breakfast in bed 289) He usually gets a blowjob in exchange for this 290) They make a game out of fucking in as many places as they can 291) This has included: the grocery store, a church, the forest 292) Milo’s parents frequently bring up marriage 293) They’re both quite content with how things are 294) One day, they’d both like a small wedding in Europe somewhere 295) Zoos, petting farms, and aquariums are their favourite dates 296) Milo is basically Callie’s pillow 297) Callie writes songs for Milo 298) Her parents do not approve of her dating a Nymph 299) Callie’s roommates adore Milo and love that he basically lives there 300) They fight about how much wardrobe space Milo takes up frequently

BACKGROUND CHARACTERS 301) Callie’s roommate is a werewolf 302) She doesn’t know that Callie isn’t human and vice versa 303) Werewolf roommate (Arya)’s family is originally from India 304) Arya loves escape rooms 305) Callie loves petting Arya in wolf form 306) Milo is the only one who questions why there’s a wolf in the kitchen 307) But Milo still feeds Arya-in-wolf-form blueberry muffins 308) Bruce the Minotaur has lived in Monster House forever 309) Nobody really knows where or when Bruce came from 310) He has a very distinctive Greek accent 311) Bruce makes the best waffles 312) And he knits a damn good scarf and woolly socks 313) Which is incidentally what everybody gets for their birthday 314) Sheryl the Siren is like a crazy aunt to the kids in Monster House 315) She auditioned for X Factor once - she didn’t get in 316) Her vocal inspirations are beyonce and mariah carey 317) Sheryl is married to Mary-Anne the Mermaid 318) Mary-Anne lives in the coves behind Monster House 319) Sheryl loves singing for Mary-Anne 320) Maybe it’s the water-clogged ears, but Mary-Anne enjoys the singing 321) They had a beautiful beach wedding twelve years ago 322) Kenzi was a flower girl, Toby was a page boy 323) There is a ghost living in the attic of Monster House 324) It never seems to come out 325) Bruce sits outside the attic door each night to keep it company 326) Sometimes it likes to play drums with pots and pans 327) Nobody really has a name - it’s just ‘the ghost in the attic’ 328) They leave cookies for it at Christmas - they always get eaten 329) Sometimes Matty gets there first 330) Grace the Gorgon is an interior designer 331) She wears a veil-like head cover to hide the snake hair 332) Most humans just assume the head cover/snake hair is a new trend 333) Grace constantly redecorates Monster House 334) The house usually puts everything back overnight 335) Monster House does not like change 336) Grace is a wanted felon for the murder of a man named Perseus 337) Humans seem to be destined to forever walk past Monster House 338) Thus, Grace has never been caught 339) It is rumoured that she was once called Penelope 340) Nobody quite knows what Perseus did to warrant murder 341) Nobody quite trusts Grace with a knife, either

SEABROOKE 342) Seabrooke is a small, sleepy seaside town in southern England 343) It is the suburban hot spot for Monster life 344) Seabrooke has a population of 4,500 345) Around 250 of these are monsters 346) For some reason, Seabrooke has it’s own university 347) Nobody really knows why - it’s possible Phillip had a role in this 348) Seabrooke has two primary schools, a secondary, and a sixth form 349) It gets a lot of tourists during the summer 350) Everybody hates the tourists - especially Monsters

WITCHES COVEN 351) When Bruce the Minotaur gets sick - he can’t be taken to the doctors 352) The Witches Coven is the main place Monsters go when they’re sick 353) Witches are difficult creatures and the Coven are no different 354) If you get on their bad side, they’ll refuse you service 355) The Witches Coven therefore practically run the town 356) There are three families that make up the Coven 357) Admittance is only to witches with the blood of prestigious families 358) Kai is part of the Witches Coven 359) Kai’s family practically runs the Witches Coven 360) There is a lot of tension between the Witches and Phillip 361) Largely because they both have a lot of influence over Seabrooke 362) Regardless, Phillip still genuinely likes Kai 363) The Witches tend to be high maintenance and spoilt 364) The parents are like the worst white suburban soccer mums ever 365) Regardless, they are excellent at healing magic 366) But also excellent at ruining your life 367) They have definitely killed a few monsters - but it cannot be proved

LOCAL NEWSPAPER 368) The Daily Seabrooke is ran by shapeshifters 369) Nobody remembers when the TDS was started 370) Philip adores it for the crosswords 371) Apparently the crosswords are ‘out of this world’ 372) TDS is ran by a group of crazy looking students 373) Of course, they’re shapeshifters, so they’re probably all 1000+ 374) The shapeshifters behind TDS don’t mingle with other monsters 375) At least not as themselves 376) They report on human politics and news as well 377) Only monsters are sold the copies with monster news included 378) Half of TDS is gossip about the people in Seabrooke 379) Nobody is really safe from their snooping 380) Their methods include being a literal fly on the wall 381) Most breakups, Witches Coven drama, and Vamp/Wolf fights are put in 382) TDS is extremely controversial amongst Monsters in Seabrooke 383) Kenzi thinks it’s fucking hilarious

SEABROOKE UNIVERSITY 384) The University is crawling with monster life 385) Several professors are monsters 386) Most notably are Phillip and Steven 387) Phillip teaches Modern History 388) Steven teaches Medieval History 389) Phillip is a Vampire, Steven is a Werewolf 390) They have a competition for who gets History Professor Of The Year 391) This competition frequently gets out of hand 392) Everybody knows about their rivalry, few knows why 393) Nobody knows how long the two have worked there - most say forever 394) That wouldn’t be far from the truth 395) Steven happens to be Arya (Callie’s Roommate)’s father

MONSTER HOUSE 396) Monster House is practically alive 397) It constantly expands and shrinks 398) There are always exactly as many rooms as are necessary 399) Only the first floor can be seen by passersby 400) And they often walk straight past it 401) Ordering pizza is a nightmare 402) It’s like the human brain cannot comprehend where it is 403) Even though it’s in an incredibly obvious location 404) When they do see it, they see only a normal house 405) The construction of the house makes no sense 406) There are rooms hanging over nothing and stairs leading to nowhere 407) Sometimes bedrooms move and finding them is a nightmare 408) The living room and kitchen like to switch places 409) On Monday’s the kitchen is green and nobody knows why 410) It is black and white the rest of the time 411) It is almost impossible to paint or decorate Monster House 412) It prefers to do that itself 413) Somehow the bedrooms always look exactly how they are wanted 414) At least they save on paint - that shit is expensive 415) Unfortunately, Monster House doesn’t clean itself 416) Toby has registered several complaints about this

LULU 417) Lulu’s full name is Lucifer 418) It has been living in the basement since the beginning 419) It has only been seen by four people 420) Phillip and Kenzi are two of those 421) They call it Lulu because Kenzi couldn’t pronounce Lucifer as a kid 422) The nickname kinda stuck 423) Lulu gets fed raw fish every morning 424) They just dump a bucket full down the hatch in the kitchen 425) Sometimes Toby threatens to feed Matty to Lulu 426) This causes Matty to have nightmares and sleep in Toby’s bed 427) So that one kinda backfired on Toby 428) Nobody actually knows what kind of creature Lulu is

MISC. FACTS 429) Harlow’s favourite song is ‘Lights Down Low’ by Max 430) Seabrooke is not on any map - nobody knows why 431) I really regret this 432) Never ever try to write 500 facts it will not be fun 433) Callie’s favourite kind of law is criminal law 434) Particularly fatal offences 435) She also likes land law because she’s fucking weird 436) Kai got into reality TV because of his sisters 437) One of the arcades in Seabrooke is monster themed 438) Toby works there on Saturdays - always taking the night shifts 439) Kai really wants to own his own bakery one day 440) He tried to get the local bakery to hire him but he’s too young 441) Kai also wants to live in France or Italy 442) He also wants to be on reality shows and get a fake tan 443) (Okay. Toby is pretty sure he was joking about that) 444) Kai always has to wish on a lucky star 445) Milo wants to be a published author one day 446) Kai has tried to run away from home twice 447) His parents put a tracking spell on him and found him too fast 448) Toby wishes he could skate at the park with the other kids 449) But he also secretly likes that everyone finds him mysterious 450) Toby used to have a (massive) crush on Kenzi 451) Now they’re both pretty gay 452) Everyone is gay tbh 453) Monsters have no concept of heteronormativity 454) Kenzi’s favourite colour is pink 455) Callie’s favourite animal is an octopus 456) Kai has a picture of him and Toby stuck on his bedroom wall 457) Kai has had a crush on Toby since they were kids 458) Coming out as trans wrecked Kai’s relationship with his parents 459) It is seen as a disgrace for witches to have male sons 460) Men are submissive in witch culture 461) Kai’s parents frequently misname and misgender him 462) The kids at school are much more accepting 463) Kai came out when he was 14 464) Toby has actually been one of his biggest supporters 465) Natalia has been his main supporter as well 466) Toby likes Kai a lot more since he came out 467) Kai feels more real to him now - and irritates him less 468) Toby doesn’t know how long Kai has liked him for 469) Kai is pretty open about being trans 470) Seabrooke is quite accepting, even if his parents aren’t 471) Kenzi is terrified of being rejected by the monster community 472) She really wants Toby to turn her so she can be an actual monster 473) She wears contact lenses so her eyes look purple 474) She doesn’t really like school and puts the bare minimum effort in 475) Harlow is taking four a levels - a difficult thing to do 476) Fuck this was the worst idea 478) Harlow channels her anger out through drumming 479) It’s therapist mandated so her dad cannot stop her 480) Even though he very very much wants to 481) Harlow’s favourite video game is overwatch 482) Her mains are lucio, junk rat, bastion and rein 483) Harlow despises spelling and grammar errors 484) Matty likes stealing Toby’s tee shirts 485) Between Matty & Kai, Toby barely has any clothes left 486) Which is fine as far as Kai’s concerned 487) Matty is like a little brother to Kai 488) Originally, Callie & Arya were part of a polygamous relationship 489) I cut that out, though, because I couldn’t think of a third girl 490) Seabrooke tends to have mild weather 491) During the summer, the heat can spike to 25-30 C max 492) It rarely snows, but it does rain a lot, and there’s a lot of wind 493) Most of the houses in Seabrooke were built 100ish years ago 494) It has a train station - nobody knows why - it’s the last stop 495) There is a Seabrooke museum ran by a vampire and a Fae 496) There is a secret monster section in the back 497) Idle Town by Conan Gray reminds me of Seabrooke 498) As does This Town by Neil Horan (I think that’s the name idk) 499) Fuck you to @livvywrites for not stopping me 500) I am never doing this again

tag list: @livingthelovelylife, @commasinsidequotes, @4kidsopfan, @thatworldinverted, @livvywrites @ravenpuffwriter @the-writer-turned-procrastinor @livingthelovelylife  (ask to be added or removed more likely after this shit)

[siriuslybuckybarnes]

Always (Bucky x OFC) Part 9/12

AN: I know I used this gif earlier but I couldn’t find one to fit this part... Lol this is probably my favorite part so far, so lmk what you think ;)

Also, there’s Italian in this chapter. I know it’s probably wrong. I spent a summer in Italy, so I did what I could but I know it’s probably super inaccurate since I used Google Translate for most of it.

My Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

It had become routine for the Howling Commandos to celebrate each of their missions in the closest bar, Mario’s, and Steve always invited her along, though she would never understand why.

“I don’t even know why I’m still here, Steve,” she said as she followed him inside.  She felt out of place, and was fidgeting with the dress she was wearing.  “I should just go back home, at least I won’t be in the way. Don’t want your tagalong sister to cause any trouble around here.”

“You aren’t in the way, Emmy,” he said immediately, groaning when she called herself that.  “You aren’t my tagalong sister. You’re my sister who I want here because I love you and you’ve helped more with strategy than anyone else. And you’re getting better with that sniper. Don’t sell yourself so short. Now come on.”

Bucky had started teaching her how to use a sniper, and though it had taken her a few weeks, she had gotten the hang of it. If she was in the field with them, it freed Bucky to be beside Steve in the middle of the fight.

Oh joy.

Emilia rolled her eyes, but reluctantly followed Steve inside to see the other members of his group already seated.  They were clearly past their first round, probably closer to their third or fourth and they grinned widely when they saw Steve.

“There’s our Captain!” they cried and Steve took the only empty seat at the table.

Emilia smiled and walked past, heading towards the bar to order herself a drink.  She noticed Bucky in the corner, wooing some girl and she rolled her eyes.

Some things never changed.

“Buonasera Mario,” she murmured to the owner, Mario, who nodded and immediately poured her drink.

Mario was an elderly man, with grey hair and bright eyes.  Sometimes he would tell her stories of his youth with his late wife, making her giggle at his tales of trying to woo her.  He was also teaching her Italian.  She enjoyed Mario’s company, his limited English meant that their communication was slower, but they were beginning to learn each other’s language and he often had her giggling when he described his adventures with his late wife.

Emilia had originally stayed because she couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Steve and Bucky alone without her, but soon Peggy had pulled her in to strategize and she couldn’t help but enjoy it. After a couple of missions, Bucky had pulled her aside and decided to teach her how to use a sniper rifle so she could join them on the battlefield if she chose to.

Though, admittedly she was supposed to join Peggy and Colonel Chester Phillips away from the front lines within the next few weeks.  Either way, she was proving to be a useful asset, which had initially surprised the Colonel. Growing up defending herself and Steve had helped her develop her fighting, at least enough to get by, and according to Peggy, she had a knack for strategizing the Howling Commandos’ missions.

She smiled when Mario asked how her day was, half in English, half in Italian, and she replied easily, “Bene,” she murmured back. “Ehh- andava bene?” she was unsure whether it was right, but smiled when Mario nodded his head approvingly.

“Excellente!” he praised. “l'italiano è meglio, every day.”

“Grazie,” she replied. “Grazie, grazie.”

“Dov'è il tuo ragazzo?” he inquired, causing her to blush lightly. She only understood part of the question, but she caught just enough and Mario smiled when he realized. “Your boy?”

“He isn’t- ragazzo non il mio?” she knew it was wrong, but she thought maybe she at least got the words right. She didn’t have a boy, even if she knew who he was talking about.

Mario grinned at her words, chuckling as he corrected her broken Italian but refused to accept her answer.

“Lui è il tuo ragazzo,” he insisted, causing Emilia to grin slightly. She got that one. And she knew there was no use in arguing with Mario about it.

“What’s a gorgeous dame like you doing drinking all alone in a place like this?”

Emilia fought the urge to cringe away from the voice.  The soldier was clearly drunk, and she despised being called a dame. For some reason, the only one allowed to call her anything else was Bucky, though she couldn’t remember when he had started, it was second nature for them now.

“That’s none of your business,” she replied, not even bothering to spare him a glance.

“Attento, con quello,” Mario warned, moving away for a moment. “I’ll, eh, be back in a moment.”

“Don’t be like that, sweetheart,” the soldier said, taking the seat next to her, completely ignoring Mario.  “Let me buy you a drink.”

“No thanks,” Emilia replied, this time turning to look at him coldly.  “I’m fine on my own.”

“No one likes a sourpuss, sweetheart,” he said, ignoring her glare.  “I’m Tom. What are we drinking?”

“Emilia,” she replied shortly.  “Whiskey neat.”

“Not a very appropriate drink for a dame, don’t you think?” he asked, flagging Mario down.  “The lady’ll have a gin with tonic water. And I’ll have a whiskey sour.”

Sour like his attitude, Emilia thought.

Mario didn’t move immediately, waiting to see if Emilia denied the drink, her shrug causing him to raise his eyebrows at her. At this point, Mario always had a bottle of whiskey ready for her when she walked in.  He knew what she liked to drink better than anyone except Steve and Bucky.  Emilia enjoyed strong drinks.  Whiskey, bourbon, sometimes she would settle for a nice glass of red wine to calm down after a long day.  She hated the taste of beer, and gin was something she only drank when there were no other options.

“Did you not understand me?” Tom asked Mario, his voice rising slightly. “You’d think by now you would understand a simple drink order.”

Emilia clenched her jaw and glared at Tom as he spoke to Mario, who simply shrugged and began preparing their drinks.

“Non preoccuparti, figlia,” he muttered to Emilia, sending her a knowing look.

After a few moments, he placed the drinks in front of them and Emilia picked up the gin and tonic hesitantly.

She took a small sip, fighting the grimace at the taste.  She went to grab her whiskey, intending to finish it to chase the gin from her palate, but Tom quickly grabbed it and pushed it away from her reach.

“You don’t need that, sweetheart,” he said, accepting his drink from Mario, who was in the middle of pouring Emilia another whiskey neat.

“Niente soldi, bella,” he said as he set it in front of her, out of Tom’s reach.

“Grazie mille, Mario,” she replied thankfully, taking a large sip. “Grazie mille.”

“I- that’s rude,” Tom said, glaring at Mario.  “What did he say to you?” he asked Emilia, turning to look at her.  “What did he say?”

Emilia raised her eyebrows again, “He was replacing my drink with something I like better.”

“It isn’t a lady’s drink,” Tom insisted.  “You should drink something more suited for you.”

Emilia’s gaze hardened and she gave Tom a cold look, “I drink what I want to drink,” she said evenly.  “And I don’t like being told what I can and can’t do.”

“You need to learn manners,” Tom said, finally acknowledging her cold demeanor.  “It’s rude for a dame to talk to a man like that.”

“I’ve never been good at doing what I’m told,” she retorted, standing up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve had enough of your company.”

She picked her drink up and turned to find Steve and the others, but Tom’s hand closed around her wrist.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he growled, his grip on her wrist bruising.  “You’re rude. I’ll teach you how to listen and do what you’re told. You obviously need to be taught how to behave like a proper dame.”

His insistence on calling her a dame was grating on her nerves, and she knew that if she didn’t leave now she was going to get herself into trouble. She glared up at him and yanked her hand away, turning away again. Tom growled again and pulled her back, slapping her harshly, causing her head to snap to the side.

It seemed some things would never change. She was always getting herself into situations where she ended up getting slapped. At least this time it wasn’t because she was protecting Steve.

Anger bubbled as she set her drink down, her hand closing into a tight fist as she prepared to retaliate.

“Get away from her,” Bucky said from behind her, his voice doing a poor job at masking his anger. “Don’t touch her again.”

Tom glared at Bucky over Emilia’s shoulder and scoffed. “Back off, pal,” he replied grabbing Emilia’s wrist again.  “This dame is mine.”

Her face warmed with anger, “I’m not a dame,” she hissed, glaring up at him coldly as his grip on her wrist tightened. Pulling her free fist back, she punched him square in the nose, causing blood to splatter across his face.

His nose was most definitely broken.

“Fuck!” Tom yelled, his grip on her wrist going slack as he clutched his face.  “You bitch!”

He moved to lunge at her, but Steve appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his shoulder before he could move again.

“If you value your life,” Steve said quietly as he stared down at Tom.  “You’ll walk away.”

“I can handle myself, Stevie,” she hissed, glaring at Tom coldly. “I got him on the ropes.” Tom was fighting against Steve’s grasp, clearly not smart enough to understand his situation and Emilia clenched her right fist as she prepared another punch.

“But where’s the fun in that, Doll?” Bucky asked, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “We’ll take care of him so you don’t have to waste any more of your time.”

Tom pushed Steve away from him and gave Emilia another cold stare as he backed away, “This isn’t over, bitch.”

“Oh, it’s over.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest and clenched his jaw.  “You’ll stay away from her if you know what’s good for you.”

As soon as Tom was gone, Emilia turned to glare at the two men in front of her.

“I was handling it,” she said firmly. “I had everything handled just fine.”

“I know you did,” Steve replied.  “But I’m not going to sit by while some jerk tries to manhandle my sister. He’s lucky I didn’t break his jaw for slapping you.”

She rolled her eyes, “So you’ll defend me now, but not the other day?”

Steve groaned, dropping his head into his hands and pulling Emilia in for a hug.

“I didn’t think you needed me to defend you that day because I knew she was wrong,” he said, squeezing her tightly. “You’re my big sister who’s always been there for me and I don’t want it any other way. I love you and I promise that I don’t see you as some tagalong sister.” He pulled back to stare down at her. “You know that isn’t what I think of you. And that I don’t want you to go anywhere. Please, will you let it go?”

She sighed, pulling away before moving to finish the rest of her drink and pulling money from her clutch bag.

“No,” Mario said as he watched her.  “Niente soldi, bella,” he said again, smiling softly at her.  “I don’t take your money tonight.”

Bucky grinned at Mario as he grabbed her earlier drink and finished it, before wrapping his arm around Emilia’s shoulders and pulling her away as she uttered a quick thank you.

“Buona notte,” she said quickly.

Mario nodded back, his smile turning to a knowing grin, “Non tuo ragazzo, eh?” he tacked on, causing Emilia to blush.

She was glad neither Steve nor Bucky understood Italian.

“I’ll walk you back, Doll,” Bucky said as he steered her towards the exit. “Don’t need any more excitement for tonight.”

“I’ll be right behind you,” Steve said as he trailed after them. “Just gonna tell the guys I’m leaving.”

“No Steve,” Bucky said, squeezing Emilia’s shoulders. “I’ll take care of her, you can stay back with the others.”

Steve’s face contorted with guilt and Emilia smiled slightly at him. No matter how mad she was, she still appreciated that he wanted to walk her back. It was also difficult to stay mad at him for too long when she knew he was being sincere.

“I’ll be fine, Stevie,” she said. “In fact, I can walk back alone. Both of you stay and-”

“Not gonna happen,” Bucky cut her off. “One of us is walking you back. I’ll walk you back. I don’t mind at all, Em.”

Steve relented after a few more pushes and soon Bucky and Emilia were exiting the bar, his arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

The cold air brushed her skin, causing her to shiver and rub her arms against the wind. Bucky quickly shrugged his jacket from his shoulders, before draping it across Emilia’s and then wrapping his arm around her again, this time squeezing her waist tightly.  He pulled her close, letting her head rest against his shoulder lightly as he guided her back to the camp.

“So what started that little fight?” he asked casually as they walked.  “He seemed pretty upset.”

“I wasn’t ladylike enough for him,” she snorted, huddling further into his side.  “He didn’t like that I prefer whiskey over gin.”

Bucky barked a laugh before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, “He was stupid.  Your drink choice is perfect just like you.”

Emilia let out a small scoff, “You just say that because you like whiskey too.” He always liked to steal the last sip, no matter what.

“I like you more than I like whiskey,” he said matter-of-factly.  “You’re a little less bitter sometimes, but with just the right amount of sweet to go with it.”

Rolling her eyes, she pulled his jacket up closer to her face as the cold wind blew.  She wasn’t bitter at all.

As they approached her tent, Bucky squeezed her tightly.

“I’m just messin’ with ya, Doll,” he said, grinning boyishly down at her. Her heart was racing in her chest again, and she fought the flutter in her stomach when his grin grew.  “You’re sweeter than anyone else I know, smarter too.”

She rolled her eyes again, shrugging his jacket off to give back.

“Keep it for tonight,” he said, watching her shiver.  “I’ll get it from you tomorrow.”

Not waiting to be told twice, she shoved her arms through the sleeves and inhaled deeply as his scent surrounded her again.  How Bucky still managed to smell so good in the middle of war, she would never know.

“Goodnight, Buck,” she whispered, giving him a soft smile.  “Thanks for walkin’ me back.”

“And for swoopin’ in a savin’ ya?” he asked, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched her face drop.  “From spilling your whiskey when you took him down?” he tacked on, pulling her in for a hug.  “I know you can handle yourself, Doll, but I like protectin’ you.”  He pressed a kiss on her cheek, grinning when she rolled her eyes at him again.  “Makes me feel useful.”

She chuckled, “You always make yourself useful somehow, Buck.” His grin widened and he nodded as she moved to stand on her toes to kiss his cheek, but he moved his head to the side so their lips met for a brief moment.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly at her shocked expression. “I couldn’t help myself. Night, Doll.”

He turned and walked away before Emilia had the chance to say anything in response, her jaw hanging open in shock as her fingertips traced her bottom lip.

TAGS:

@slender--spirit @lusite14 @wintersoldierbaby

[buzzdixonwriter]

Compare And Contrast: THE PARTY vs AFTER THE FOX

Adam-Troy Castro recently published an essay on Blake Edwards’ 1968 Hollywood comedy The Party.

The Party is one of Edwards’ rare misfires; not awful, but certainly not a hit, either.  A virtually plotless film (more on that below) made at the height of the Summer of Love, it features some of Edwards’ and Peter Sellers’ funniest gags, yet remains unsatisfying for most audiences (The Party has its fans, but they tend to be connoisseurs of cinematic comedy).

The biggest apparent problem with The Party today is the charge that Sellers plays in brownface; i.e., he’s cast as a hapless Bollywood actor making a mess of things in Hollywood.

This, to modern audiences, is a big no-no, a white actor racially impersonating a brown ethnicity.

…only it isn’t.

The bulk of India’s population belong genetically to the same “race” (i.e., Caucasian) as the vast majority of Europeans and Americans of European descent (for that matter, so are most Middle Easterners).  Sellers did not do a racial impression because the character of Hrundi V. Bakshi shares the same “race” as Sellers himself.

Which leads to our contrast-and-compare point, my personal favorite of all Sellers’ films:  After The Fox.

Let’s fill in a little background information before we plunge ahead.

First of all, Sellers himself.  He was a renown (read “genuinely insane”) comedy actor (as opposed to a comedian) with an uncanny penchant for submerging himself completely in oddball roles.

Inspector Clouseau is his most famous character, but his trio of roles in Dr. Strangelove -- Captain Mandrake, President Muffley, and Dr. Strangelove himself -- best demonstrates his astonishing range and versatility (one of the great tragedies in cinematic history is that an on-set injury prevented Sellers from playing the role of Major Kong [Slim Pickens in the final film], who rides the H-bomb down in the movie’s most iconic shot; it had been Stanley Kubrick’s intent to place the fate of the world squarely in Sellers’ hands in all three of Dr. Strangelove’s plotlines).

Sellers rode high in the 1960s and appeared in numerous comedies ranging from What’s New, Pussycat? (another film that’s grown more problematic with age) to The Bobo (never heard of The Bobo? Well, there’s a reason for that…).

The Party’s Hrundi V. Bakshi fits perfectly into that oeuvre.

As mentioned above, Bakshi is not a bad person, just a luckless one.  He tries hard and is eager to please, but no matter what, things go awry.

The shoestring thin plot of The Party is this:  After he ruins a big budget Hollywood epic, the studio intends to blackball Bakshi but by mistake his name is added to the invitation list of a big party the studio head is throwing.  

Hilarity -- or a reasonable facsimile thereof -- ensues.

The Party’s cinematic antecedents can be traced to Jacques Tati and, of all people, Jerry Lewis, though an argument can be made its roots go back to the semi-improvised early comedies of Mack Sennett’s studio.

Tati was an art crowd darling.  He made only a handful of films, but his M. Hulot quartet (M. Hulot’s Holiday, Mon Oncle, Play Time, and Traffic) are genuine cinematic masterworks and hilarious to boot.

Tati’s style was intensely physical but never violent in the manner of American slapstick.  He fell out of favor with French studios because he would spend lavishly on huge sets to pay off a single, subtle gag; his return-on-investment wasn’t good enough for producers’ bottom line.

Lewis, while better known as a performer, also proved to be a director of no small talent; let us give him the credit due for his work behind the camera.  While his personal misfire (the never completed The Day The Clown Cried) marred his directorial reputation, two of his films -- The Bellboy and The Errand Boy -- resemble Tati’s work although far more boisterous in execution.

Both Tati and Lewis (in those two films) jettisoned conventional narrative.  Mon Oncle is about a beloved uncle getting his nephew’s father to pay more attention to his family, The Errand Boy is sent undercover to find fiscal waste but ends up a comedy star who saves the studio; that’s as close as either gets to a plot.

Tati and Lewis’ films start with a basic set up then just let things grow from there.  When it works -- as it did with Sennett and Chaplain and Tati and Lewis -- it produces hilarious but expensive results.

When it doesn’t work -- and lordie, everybody tries real hard in The Party -- one ends up with an unfunny mess.

(I’m being unfair.  The Party isn’t unfunny, it’s just not consistently nor compellingly funny all the way through.)

Edwards was fond of improvisation in his films.  His greatest success with Sellers was the original Pink Panther in which Sellers replaced Peter Ustinov, the original Inspector Clouseau.

Clouseau was supposed to be a third tier character in The Pink Panther and Sellers appears way down on the billing after David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner, and Claudia Cardinale.  The script was written and the movie shot to focus on Niven and Wagner’s uncle / nephew jewel thieves -- but Sellers stole the whole damn movie right out from under them.

(Recasting Clouseau was Edwards’ stroke of brilliance.  Ustinov would have played Clouseau as a fool, and the visceral reaction to that was to despise him.  Sellers played Clouseau as an idiot, and audiences loved him.)

Edwards’ other improvisational comedies typically fared better than The Party because they at least featured a clear plot line for both performers and audiences to focus on.  The Party literally doesn’t know where it’s going, and that’s detrimental to the film as a whole.  (Compared to Casablanca, another heavily improvised film where the crucial difference was everyone knew the story had to end with Rick making a decision, there’s nothing like that to help The Party.)

The Party isn’t bad, just unsuccessful.  As mentioned, it’s a misfire, not a mistake.  Considering Blake Edwards also made Breakfast At Tiffany’s, The Pink Panther, The Great Race, and Victor / Victoria, we can cut him some slack.

Back to Sellers and his astonishing range and gallery of characters:  On the heels of his smash success as Inspector Clouseau in The Pink Panther, Sellers was offered the role of Aldo Vanucci in After The Fox.

Vanucci is the polar opposite of Inspector Clouseau, a criminal instead of a cop, cunning and competent instead of brainless and bumbling.  A master of disguise, Vanucci gave Sellers the opportunity to play numerous sub-impersonations such as a prudish priest, a carabinieri, and an intense Italian film among others.

After The Fox was co-written by Neal Simon and Cesare Zavattini, the latter a long time associate of the film’s director, Vittorio De Sica.  This is not to say any of them were better at their craft than Edwards, but clearly the structure they provided works to the final film’s benefit.

After The Fox offers a clear, linear plot:  Retired criminal Aldo Vanucci is lured out of retirement (i.e., escapes jail) to come home and provide for his mother and star struck sister.  Given the task of smuggling stolen gold into Italy, he comes up with a scheme to make a movie about smuggling stolen gold into Italy and thus enlists the authorities to help with his crime!

I’ll be frank, a big reason I love this movie is how accurately it depicts Italian culture and various character types.  Yeah, it’s over the top and deliberately played to excess, but every gag is firmly based on reality.

English Sellers captures the essence of so many diverse Italian personality types (and, briefly, an American tourist as well) so perfectly he deserves the title of honorary paisan. 

So how is Vanucci different from Bakshi in The Party?

Bakshi is not a bad person, he’s shown to have a heart of gold and high personal standards, he just can’t cope with the world around him (a trait he shares with Tati’s M. Hulot).  His Indianess is depicted very slightly -- his accent, his apartment décor, his sitar playing.  Unlike Vanucci being Italian in After The Fox, there is no reason for him to be specifically Indian.  

He could be any poor schlub, a soul brother to Lewis’ bellboy. 

Aldo Vanucci in After The Fox fills several key functions for that movie.  After The Fox’s plot hinges on volatile lower class Italian family dynamics -- it would not be the same story with different characters.

This is not the same as saying those versions would be bad, but as Yojimbo ripped off Dashiell Hammett’s novel Red Harvest and was remade as A Fistful Of Dollars which in turn was remade as Last Man Standing which returned the story to Hammett’s original milieu, so each version stands distinct and different from the others.

But Seller’s Bakshi adds nothing as a character to The Party.  Except for a handful of specific gags, his role could have just as easily been played by Tati’s M. Hulot, Lewis’ Stanley, Rowan Atkinson’s Mr. Bean, or Jaleel White’s Urkel and the final film wouldn’t be significantly different (for that matter, it wouldn’t need to be set in Hollywood, either, just any environment where self-appointed cultural elites can’t escape from a gauche lower status person).

Compare Bakshi to Vanucci and it’s clear Sellers’ isn’t punching down in After The Fox.  For all his criminality, Vanucci’s highly scrupulous and clearly capable.  He takes his lumps but he’s not the human punching bag Sellers played in The Party.

  © Buzz Dixon

[theoldestsoultrilogy]

“From the beginning, I did not believe one word of his. He preaches mercy, but is in truth an ice-cold, sly, Machiavellian, and, what is worse – he lies.”

These are the razor-sharp words of a cardinal within the walls of the Vatican as recently reported by the German magazine Der Spiegel, one of the most influential political magazines in Europe. This is utterly unprecedented, guys. There can be no doubt now that we have entered a time unlike anything the world has ever seen before.

As I chart what I’ve excitedly dubbed the elite apocalypse and do my part to help tear down the dark prison pyramid and usher in the liberation of this planet from the evil control forces who’ve held it “through child abuse,” to quote Sinead O’Connor, many of you know I keep a very close, and critical, eye fixed on The Holy See.

And for very good reason. The the Roman Papacy is by all prophetic accounts the main stronghold of the old control world, and it’s fall will usher in the New Earth.

It’s no secret that, just like Sinead, I am no fan of The Vatican and regularly take jabs at the man I’ve decided to start calling (for reasons I explain below) “FRANCIS THE LAST”

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1034551589053374467

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1036262068838690816

https://twitter.com/Tiff_FitzHenry/status/1048034135359574018

Yeah, I know I can be a little brutal. But look, “the church” has presided over the largest child abuse cult on earth, which has committed the most mass crimes against humanity in the history of civilization on this planet. And I happen to really love children and humans for that matter, so that’s a big problem for me. My snarky tweets are more than justified considering the scale of pure evil we are talking about here.

I also despise the hijacking of spirituality (which we humans are naturally wired for) to centralize power which is then wielded extemporaneously, all over the planet, for the further centralization of even more power held by even fewer individuals in a closed elite system all while hoarding the planet’s wealth, secrets and knowledge. Something about that just that really grinds my gears.

The elites who lie to and subvert humanity are my mark, and I am possessed to destroy them.

I know in my bones that the “closely guarded secrets of the Catholic Church” will soon be revealed and that this will torpedo the Roman ruling state as we know it. But what I didn’t know, until a few days ago, was that there are four different very well-known prophecies which all predict that Pope Francis will be the final pope, that his fall is guaranteed, and with it will take down the Luciferian bloodline cabal, the Roman Empire, once and for all.

Yes guys, this is BIG! Get excited!

We’ve all been meticulously, intentionally, and repititiously taught that “the Roman empire fell,” however that didn’t actually happen. Surprise! Yeah, we were lied to. Can you even believe it? LOL 🙄 Anyone else sensing a pattern?

The truth is that the seat of power that was Rome never abdicated its throne, it merely changed forms. That’s another subject for another post just something you need to know going forward.

Likewise, we’ve all been socialized to believe that the institutions which currently exist on our planet should all be there—that just because they’ve always been there that means they always should be. I mean, says who? Right? We’ve also been brainwashed to believe that these massive institutions can not ever fall. “Too big to fail” trained us well on that thought pattern, right? But this too is a grand hoax. Nothing and no one is too big to fall, or fail, especially when they have failed us. When they have forsaken their people and their purpose. Just ask Harvey Weinstein, whom I have it on very good authority is penniless at this very moment, and who will spend the rest of his life in a jail cell and die broke and alone—as the vile monster should.

We need to start to become VERY comfortable with the concept that the largest institutions on Earth will and are falling, right before our eyes.

We have entered a new era, ready or not. This is a time like nothing that has ever come before. It is an age of authenticity, where the truth about what these institutions actually are is all being pushed to the surface. And the Vatican is no exception.

So, what did all these prophesies and visions say? What will all this look like and how is it going to end? I’m so glad you asked!

Let’s start with St. Malachy and his Prophecy of The Popes.

Malachy was a 12th century Irish Bishop who made a prophecy that there would be 112 Popes (FYI Francis is the 112th). He wrote short prophetic descriptions of who each of the 112 Popes would be based on certain identifying factors such as name and birthplace.

His prophecy was long ago officially approved by the Catholic Church and stored in the Vatican archives, in spite of the fact that it predicted the future destruction of Rome. It remained a closely guarded secret for centuries.

Here is Malachy’s prediction of the 112th Pope in full is:

“In the final persecution of the Holy Roman Church there will reign Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations, and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills [i.e. Rome] will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge his people. The End.”

Alright now, calm down. I know that sounds scary as heck but remember, this is The Elite Apocalypse we are talking about—the end of their dark reign over our beautiful, sacred divine world. The destruction of the good moral righteous humanity is not at hand. We haven’t been the secret Luceferians deceiving humanity for centuries, brainwashing them on a mass scale, hoarding all the wealth and resources of the planet and stealing and eating babies, right?

Remember, this is the judgement and the destruction of the wicked. This is the judgement, and expelling of evil and darkness. When you think about it, we’ve already been living in our own personal apocalyptic hellscape of darkness for millennia.

Alright, back to Malachy. He prophesied the 110th Pope, Pope John Paul II, by saying “From the labour of the sun / Of the eclipse of the sun.”

Scholars confirm this prophesy by noting that the sun was in eclipse during the day and very moment of Pope John Paul’s birth on May 18, 1920, as well as and during his funeral on April 8th 2005.

Yes guys, that is very freaking weird.

Ok, let’s look at Malachy’s prophecy concerning the 111th pope, Pope Benedict. The prophecy says of him, “Gloria Olivae,” which means “the glory of the Olive.”

The Order of Saint Benedict, the chosen name of Ratzinger, is also known as the Olivetans. In choosing this patron he was quite literally the ‘glory of the olive’ personified.

Well, alrighty then. Now that it seems this Malachy guy was indeed legit let’s look at who he said this final pope will be, “Peter Romanus,” or Peter the Roman.

Pope Francis, a.k.a Peter the Roman

Pope Francis, originally known as Jorge Mario Bergoglio, was given a birth name that is quite telling.  Bergoglio is derived from the word “berg” which means “mountain” or “large rock” in German.  Mario is derived from the Latin name Marius which comes from Mars—the god of war.  Jorge translates to George who is most associated with St. George “was a Roman soldier of Greek origin and a member of the Praetorian Guard for Roman emperor Diocletian” who was venerated by the Crusaders.

The prophecy points out that “Peter Romanus” is identified as the last pope.  Like Bergoglio in Italian, Peter, means “rock” in Greek, just as Romanus translates to “from Rome”.  Hence, Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s own name points to the fact that he is the very last Pope of Rome.  Even his middle name — Mario — refers to a tendency to warmonger.

Plus, the father of the current pope was Peter, or Pietro, and was from Italy even though the family moved to Argentina.

Francis is Peter of Rome.

NOSTRADAMUS

He predicted that the last pope would flee Rome in December when “two suns” seem to appear in the sky.

Nostradamus said:

The great star for seven days will burn A cloud will make two suns appear The big mastiff will howl all night When a great Pope changes his territory. 2:41

Here is another interesting Nostradamus prediction regarding the destruction of Rome.

NOSTRADAMUS QUATRAIN #10-65

Oh vast Rome, thy ruin approaches,

Not of thy walls, but of thy blood and substance;

The bite of thine utterings will be such a horrible snip,

The point of the blade thrust all the way to the handle.

In Quatrain #10-65 Nostradamus predicted the ruin of Rome as the result of an inflammatory statement made by the pope against the enemies of Rome, that would result in a backlash and the ruin of Rome. The ‘enemies of Rome” are The People. Recently the Pope has repeatedly called for ‘silence’ in the wake of revelations that have taken decades to surface. This has enflamed the masses and promped two letters calling for his resignation.

Nostradamus however, tells us that Rome’s buildings will not be destroyed, only its occupants and idols.

Hmmmm very interesting stuff. I keep visioning the spoils of Rome being redistributed amongst the victims of abuse. Let’s all picture it and see what happens!

So, what did Edgar Cayce, the sleeping prophet, say?

Edgar Cayce

During the time of the Soviet Union, Edgar Cayce predicted that Russia would one day be an ally of the United States. He said:

“…for changes are coming, this may be sure—an evolution or revolution in the ideas of religious thought. The basis of it for the world will eventually come out of Russia. Not communism, no! But rather that which is the basis of the same as the Christ taught—”

The prediction came true after the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, which Cayce also predicted.

Edgar Casey predicted that there would be one final papal reign after John Paul II, that his reign would be short, and that there wold be no further papal reigns after that. In other words, that Benedict would be the last pope to begin and end a reign and there would be no further Pope to complete a reign ever again.

Yeah, pattern alert! Ok now let’s talk about Fatima.

THE VISIONS AT FATIMA

The Three Secrets of Fátima consist of a series of apocalyptic visions and prophecies which were supposedly given to three young Portuguese shepherds, Lúcia Santos and her cousins Jacinta and Francisco Marto, experienced the apparition of Mary, starting on May 13, 1917

Of the three secrets, two were revealed at the time. The third and final one—kept in an envelope by the Vatican—was not made public until mid-2000.

Sister Lúcia chose not to disclose the third secret in her memoir of August 1941. In 1943, Lúcia fell seriously ill with influenza and pleurisy. Bishop Silva, visiting her in 1943, and suggested that she write the third secret down to ensure that it would be recorded in the event of her death. Lúcia was hesitant to do so, however. At the time she received the secret, she had heard Mary say not to reveal it, but because Carmelite obedience requires that orders from superiors be regarded as coming directly from God, she was in a quandary as to whose orders took precedence. Finally, in mid-October, Bishop Silva sent her a letter containing a direct order to record the secret, and Lúcia obeyed.

The third part of the secret was written down on January 3, 1944. In June 1944, the sealed envelope containing the third secret was delivered to Silva, where it stayed until 1957, when it was finally delivered to Rome.

It was announced by Cardinal Angelo Sodano on May 13, 2000, 83 years after the first apparition of the Lady to the children that the Third Secret would finally be released. In his announcement, Cardinal Sodano implied that the secret was about the 20th century persecution of Christians that culminated in the failed Pope John Paul II assassination attempt on May 13, 1981, the 64th anniversary of the first apparition of the Lady at Fátima. 

The text of the Third Secret, according to the Vatican, was published on June 26, 2000:

“The third part of the secret revealed at the Cova da Iria-Fátima, on 13 July 1917. 

I write in obedience to you, my God, who command me to do so through his Excellency the Bishop of Leiria and through your Most Holy Mother and mine.  After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand; flashing, it gave out flames that looked as though they would set the world on fire; but they died out in contact with the splendour that Our Lady radiated towards him from her right hand: pointing to the earth with his right hand, the Angel cried out in a loud voice: ‘Penance, Penance, Penance!’. And we saw in an immense light that is God: ‘something similar to how people appear in a mirror when they pass in front of it’ a Bishop dressed in White ‘we had the impression that it was the Holy Father’. Other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious going up a steep mountain, at the top of which there was a big Cross of rough-hewn trunks as of a cork-tree with the bark; before reaching there the Holy Father passed through a big city half in ruins and half trembling with halting step, afflicted with pain and sorrow, he prayed for the souls of the corpses he met on his way; having reached the top of the mountain, on his knees at the foot of the big Cross he was killed by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows at him, and in the same way there died one after another the other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious, and various lay people of different ranks and positions. Beneath the two arms of the Cross there were two Angels each with a crystal aspersorium in his hand, in which they gathered up the blood of the Martyrs and with it sprinkled the souls that were making their way to God.”

Along with the text of the secret, Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, (the future Pope Benedict XVI), published a theological commentary in which he states: “A careful reading of the text of the so-called third ‘secret’ of Fatima … will probably prove disappointing or surprising after all the speculation it has stirred. No great mystery is revealed; nor is the future unveiled.”

HOWEVER….

Critics such as Italian journalist and media personality Antonio Socci claim that the four-page, handwritten text of the Third Secret released by the Vatican in 2000 is not the real secret, or at least not the full secret. The argument is based on the following:

Written on one sheet of paper: the text of the Third Secret released by the Vatican is handwritten on four sheets of paper. Father Joaquin Alonso, official Fátima archivist for sixteen years, reports in his book that, “Lucy tells us that she wrote it on a sheet of paper. In a taped interview, Charles Fiore quoted Malachi Martin as saying the following regarding the text of the Third Secret: “I cooled my heels in the corridor outside the Holy Father’s apartments, while my boss, Cardinal Bea, was inside debating with the Holy Father, and with a group of other bishops and priests, and two young Portuguese seminarians, who translated the letter, a single page, written in Portuguese, for all those in the room.”

Written in the form of a letter: another reason why critics argue the full Third Secret has not been released is because of indications that the Third Secret was written in the form of a signed letter to the Bishop of Leiria and the text of the Third Secret released by the Vatican is not written in the form of a letter. Lúcia was interviewed by Father Jongen on February 3, 1946. When Fr. Jongen asked Lúcia when the time would arrive for the Third Secret, Lúcia responded, “I communicated the third part in a letter to the Bishop of Leiria.” Also, Canon Galamba, an advisor to the Bishop of Leiria, is quoted as saying, “When the bishop refused to open the letter, Lucy made him promise that it would definitely be opened and read to the world either at her death or in 1960, whichever came first.”

Contains words attributed to the Blessed Virgin Mary: the text of the Third Secret released by the Vatican contains no words attributed to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Socci asserts that the Third Secret likely begins with the words, “In Portugal the dogma of the Faith will always be preserved etc”, words which Lúcia included in her Fourth Memoir, but which are included only as a footnote to the text released by the Vatican.

Contains information about the Apocalypse, apostasy, Satanic infiltration of the Church: in an interview published in the November 11, 1984 edition of Jesus Magazine, Cardinal Ratzinger was asked whether he had read the text of the Third Secret and why it had not been revealed. Ratzinger acknowledged that he had read the Third Secret, and stated in part that the Third Secret involves the “importance of the novissimi“, or ‘END TIME’ and “dangers threatening the faith and the life of the Christian and therefore (the life) of the world.” Ratzinger also commented that, “If it is not made public – at least for the time being – it is in order to prevent religious prophecy from being mistaken for a quest for the sensational.”Also, a news article quoted former Philippine ambassador to the Vatican, Howard Dee, as saying that Cardinal Ratzinger had personally confirmed to him that the messages of Our Lady of Akita and Fátima are “essentially the same.” The Akita prophecy, in part, contains the following: “The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church in such a way that one will see cardinals opposing cardinals, bishops against bishops. … churches and altars sacked ….” On May 13, 2000, Cardinal Sodano announced that the Third Secret would be released, during which he implied the secret was about the persecution of Christians in the 20th century that culminated in the failed assassination attempt on Pope John Paul II on 13 May 1981. In a syndicated radio broadcast, Malachi Martin stated that the Third Secret “doesn’t make any sense unless we accept that there will be, or that there is in progress, a wholesale apostasy amongst clerics, and laity in the Catholic Church …”

You know, exactly what we are seeing right now.

FINAL BONUS SIGN

If for some bizarre reason you’re still in need of further convincing that the nazi pedo pope, Francis the last, a.k.a Peter the Roman, will soon preside over the collapse of the Vatican state and the unholy Roman empire once and for all, here’s one last thing to consider.

Just hours after Pope Benedict’s shock resignation, lightening stuck the Vatican, hitting the top of St. Peter’s Basillica. Not once. But TWICE.

So, what is my take on all this?

Well if you’ve studied theology you know that Jesus had a brother named James. Many scholars believe that James was the first leader of the church. I believe James knew what Jesus truly came to teach, messages of love, liberation and the truth about the powers of our humanity. What Jesus came to teach was POWERFUL. But it was powerful to the individual and to the collective, empowering them in their direct connection with the divine source of all life, and counter intuitive to the entire concept of institutions.

So “Jesus” as we know him, and in particular what was supposed to be the intirety of his message, was hijacked by the unholy power hungry Romans, who stoned James to death and installed Peter as the first Pope. I believe Frances (ie Peter of Rome) will be the final Pope, the Rome’s rule of darkness will have been from the first Peter to the last, and his fall will usher in the destruction of the Roman Empire (cabal, Luciferian, control matrix, pedophile darkness) once and for all.

THE END.

Which will actually be the beginning 🙂

 In Love & Truth,

Tiffany

Tiffany FitzHenry is a Hollywood Whistleblower and Author of The Oldest Soul Trilogy

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Is This The Last Pope? 4 Historic Prophecies Say Yes. “From the beginning, I did not believe one word of his. He preaches mercy, but is in truth an ice-cold, sly, Machiavellian, and, what is worse – he lies.”

[vintageeskimos]

Wow. What a time with wine, friends, and traveling.

A few months ago, in November, I traveled to Bologna and Florence, Italy with some of my closest friends from Philadelphia.

To make things easier to understand, I will explain each one of my friends in a short description so you can get an idea.

So there is….

Ashley– Ashley and i go wayyyy back. Out of all the girls, she is the one I have known the longest. She is the one who I studied abroad with then traveled to Sorrento for the summer afterwards which led me to meeting Luigi, my boyfriend, and the rest is history. Without her, I wouldn’t be where I am today. She is super sweet and incredibly friendly. She is literally so nice that she is able to always look for the good in people and become friends with practically anyone. Her laugh is so contagious. Straight out of Philly suburbs.

Rachel– Rachel is one of the three girls on this trip that I met through rooming at Temple University. We are known as the “Boobier bitches” long story short, it is a play off of the name of the street our house was on and the fact there was six of us girls living in this giant house during the time. Rachel is crazy in the funniest way. She brings out the weirdness in me and I love it. She also can be fairly organized so that was a huge help on this trip. She looks the most Italian out of all of us but she is actually Jewish. We have both pointed out that Israeli culture and Italian culture actually have a lot of similarities. New York born and raised.

Emily D.– Emily D. is the second girl I lived with at Temple University as part of the “Boobier bitches”. She is this funny sarcastic girl who just goes with the flow of things. From experience, I know she hates to clean things and can be very disorganized, but that is just what makes her so funny. Sometimes she will say the most wittiest comments and I have to give myself a second to wonder how the hell she comes up with them. She has never been to Europe before, but I can tell she wants to come back ASAP after this trip. From suburbs of Philly.

Emily Mac.- Emily Mac. is the final girl out of the 3 of the six that all lived in the “Boobier” house. She is this tiny little ball of energy who is down to do anything at any moment especially when it comes to spontaneous traveling. She is the one who got me to go on this trip. Originally Ashley wanted to surprise me (again), but it would have been too tough to organize it that way. She studied abroad through Temple University’s London campus while Ashley, Megan, and I were studying in Rome at the time. She is also the girl that traveled to Lisbon and Barcelona with us for our spring break. From suburbs of Philly like the most of us.

Mallory– I first met Mallory on this trip. She is a friend of a friend of Ashley’s from work. Ashley invited her to join us on this trip because she has never been to Europe before. She seemed a bit shy at first but she is very kind and understanding about our craziness. Although I have only known her for a short amount of time, she is really sweet. It is always hard to travel with a group of girls whom have known each other for so long, but it all worked out in the end. Originally from Lancaster, PA.

Megan– Megan is this tall beautiful blonde with bright, hypnotizing blue eyes. Everywhere we go Italian men are literally ALLL over her. But she is so sick and tired of it. Even though she is strikingly beautiful, she is a simple humble girl who doesn’t want to be drooled on. I met Megan through Ashley because they roomed together at Temple University’s Rome campus. She then actually fell in love with an Italian boy and transferred to John Cabot University in Rome. Unfortunately things didn’t work out with the boy but she fell in love with someone else: Rome. It is nice that I have a friend from home living in Italy with me and only an hour train ride away. Raised in the Philly suburbs.

This group of girls are some of my best friends and they all decided to plan a Europe adventure together. Their first stop was in London then onto Paris, and on the last leg of the tour, we all met up in Bologna and Florence, Italy (Except for Megan- since she lives in Rome, she planned to meet us in Florence).

Although the girls were in Europe for a week, we decided to spend two nights in Bologna, and two nights in Florence. So this is where I’m going to write about Bologna with my second article about my Florence experience. Enjoy!

Bologna, Italy:

In short, things I would recommend:

Impero (Caffe bar, pastries, aperitivo)

Trattoria da me (My favorite restaurant)

Via San Felice (street w/ Artisan/local shopping/authentic restaurants/bars)

Piazza Maggiore (Big central square with Churches/Palazzi/shops)

Basilica di San Petronio (Beautiful gothic church)

Via Pescherie Vecchie (street w/ local market/shops/bars)

Camera a Sud (super hipster/stylish bar/cafe)

Le Stanze (elegant classy bar great for date night)

Va Mo Là (amazing local food/atmosphere/service)

Bar L’una (nice pitstop bar with the coolest couple)

Most of us girls have never been to Bologna including myself. Bologna, Italy is a small city filled with an alternative-homey culture. From what I saw, it reminds me of a city where the habitants are a mix of college students, graduates, and young families. The reason behind that is that University of Bologna is located right on the outskirts of the city. Since us girls were only staying two nights and we had to catch a train to Florence afterwards, we decided to book an Airbnb located close to Bologna’s train station. I found an adorable apartment called MyG*flat with an even more adorable host, Monica. I arrived in Bologna in the early afternoon by train and Monica was right there waiting for me. She was extremely sweet and helpful when it came to the apartment and gave me tips where to buy food, and places to drink, eat, etc. The apartment itself was really cute.

The girls were flying into Bologna from Paris and they were planning to arrive pretty late that night so I wanted to cook them a nice meal. I headed to closest grocery store (which was literally right around the corner) and bought the ingredients I needed to make a classic dish from where I live in Campania: spaghetti alla Nerano (spaghetti with zucchini).

La ricetta (The recipe) includes:

Spaghetti (600g) -100g/person

4 or 5 zucchinis (you need to cut up the zucchini first and fry it)

Butter

Parmesan cheese

Sunflower oil

It was fairly easy to make. I love to cook, but my problem is that I am bad at it and I am a very impatient person sometimes. In other words, I ruined the spaghetti and turned it into gum.

But the girls ate it all anyway with the cheap wine I bought from a local alimentari.

For dessert, I bought a piccola pasticceria (a small assortment of pastries) from one of the best bars/pastry shops there is in Bologna: Impero.

(Photos provided by Google Images)

After we ate and drank everything in sight, we decided to head out into the center of the city and see what it had to offer. Keep in mind by the time the girls arrived and we finished eating and catching up it was about 2am on a cold November night. Most bars and places were closed due to the fact it was late, and also a Wednesday night. We began walking to the center of city and I stopped some young local Italians and asked them where we could find a drink at this hour. They recommend to keep walking straight to this street where a small bar and a late night to-go food place was still open and occupied with people. We grabbed some beers and cocktails and right next door some to-go pizza. There was nothing really happening that night, but it was just nice to catch up with everyone and absorb the fact that they are all in Italy with me. After stuffing our faces again, we began walking back home while scoping out some shops we could hit up the following day.

I woke up fairly early the next morning even though most of the girls were still sleeping. I really don’t blame them though because traveling is exhausting. By time everyone got up and ready it was already lunch time. I, of course being the leader/type of person I am, found a really cool restaurant called Trattoria da me with great reviews located on the other side of the city in this beautiful authentic hipster, but stylish, quarter of Bologna. The street of Via San Felice itself holds many unique spots to eat, window shop, and purchase a whole new wardrobe. I found a list of some great shops along this street:

But let’s talk about Trattoria da me. First of all their food was delicious and they gave us so much to eat- especially with the antipasto. For the second course most of us got the Spaghetti alla Bolognese which is a typical spaghetti meat dish from this region of Italy. The service was spectacular and treated us like family (all six of us).  I even stroke a conversation with the waiters about the US election and how we all despise Trump and can’t believe he won and is actually our president. They were really hospitable and I would definitely eat there again. The atmosphere was that of a homey-pastel hipster cottage with beautiful framed artwork hanging along the walls. I would live there if I could.

The interior decorations and table settings.

(From left to right: Ashley, Emily D., and Rachel)

(From left to Right: Emily Mac., Me, and Mallory)

We were so stuffed it took us so long to actually leave our seats. But I give trattoria da me a easy five-star rating.

(Left: Mixed Meats antipasto. Right: Panzerotti- fried dough)

(Left: Ashley enjoying our wine. Right: Spaghetti alla Bolognese)

( Left: pickled vegetables. Right: Mixed meat antipasto with amazing cheese)

The girls and I made our way down Via S. Felice checking out some shops here and there and stopping at this tiny bar that offered artisan homemade espresso. Continuing along this street we saw graffiti and artwork that reminded me a lot of Brooklyn, NY.

And of course we stopped at some cute clothing stores. Emily D. has recently been obsessing over faux fur jackets and she found a stellar faux fur vest that had these rocker red stars on it. We all said she had to get and the rest was history. Some of the shops we browsed were H&M, Zara, and local clothing stores. After we shopped until we dropped, the sun was nearly setting so we made our way back into the center. We arrived at Piazza Maggiore that holds beautiful buildings, towers, palazzi, and more. We entered the beautiful Basilica di San Petronio. It was huge and breath-taking as one can imagine a gothic cathedral to be with 22 chapels.

We were all in-awe of this church as we exited. You don’t see things like this in the States often. The girls and I continued through the piazza down one of the busiest streets in Bologna: Via Pescherie Vecchie. Along this street are local markets with produce, small bars, restaurants, shops, and a lively nightlife.

  (Me and Emily Mac. along Via Pescherie Vecchie)

Our shopping continued and I found a great place to have an aperitivo before our dinner: Camera a Sud.

(Photos NOT taken by me, but provided my Google Images)

Camera a Sud was the most hipster cafe I have seen since anything in Williamsburg in Brooklyn, NY. Although tiny, it was very charming and unfortunately I learned the hard way that I need to a reserve a table beforehand. It was packed with people (which I assume because it is a hotspot with locals) so in the end we decided to go somewhere else: Le Stanze.

(Photos NOT taken by me, but provided from their website, Le Stanze)

I found this place by searching on my phone and I saw costumers who posted photos of the interior that looked like a beautiful cathedral with massive tall ceilings. We were hooked and decided to grab a spritz there. But when we arrived, I was fairly disappointed to realize that the gorgeous beautiful interior architecture was only paint. The photos online were very deceiving. Le Stanze itself had a great atmosphere between class and elegance and date vibe. Their aperitivo buffet had great options although the prices can be a bit expensive.

After our deserved drink, all of us headed back to the apartment to rest our arms from all our shopping bags. I whipped out my phone and in search of a restaurant for dinner. I browsed through TripAdvisor and found a restaurant called Va Mo Là.

Inside Va Mo Là the atmosphere consisted of a rustic alternative wine bar library-type feel. We were sat downstairs in a nice quiet area. The food was marvelous, but something that stood out to me was their impeccable service. We had a bit of a problem because Mallory didn’t feel that well and she needed to go back to the apartment. We all understood so Ashley and Mallory left just before the antipasto arrived at the table. The girls said they would return as soon as they could and we told them not to worry. So Emily Mac., Emily D., Rachel, and I enjoyed our portions of the antipasto which included a nice mixed cheese plate. We made sure to put aside some for Ashley and Mallory. Both of the two girls ordered their main dish before they left, but I wanted to tell the server that there was an emergency so if they could hold off on preparing their food that would be amazing. Our server had no problem with that and all was good. Soon after, us four girls got our main dishes and enjoyed every bite. Once we finished, we realized it was getting late, and I tried to contact Ashley and Mallory to see if they were on their way back hoping they remembered which way to go.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to reach them. The server came to our table and politely asked if they could bring out their food because the chef had to leave. I felt so bad about holding them up, I just told them to box it to make it easier for the girls when they arrive so they can just eat it at the table. The server seemed kind of confused as to why not just eat it from the plate instead of the box at the table, but I didn’t know exactly when the two girls would arrive. I didn’t want their food to get cold either so I explained to him it would just be easier for you and us just to box it-no worries. Maybe he was right about presenting it- in Italy it is very strange to box food, and especially to eat boxed food at a restaurant. Since it was so late and everyone else in the restaurant had already eaten their meals and left, I thought the presentation wouldn’t matter. But with every question and request I asked (There were a lot) the server was so understanding and polite that I would have to give them 5 stars for hospitality. They were incredibly accommodating.

In relief, Ashley and Mallory finally made it back to the restaurant and ate their antipasto and main dishes. Once the girls finished, we paid the bill and made sure to tip our server (which I feel so bad that I can’t remember his name) a good percentage. We thanked everyone as we walked out the door and once we exited, we met these other Americans just out front whom we asked to take a photo of us girls in front of the restaurant.

After the lovely photo, we began to walk away, but we were stopped suddenly by the server rushing out the door calling us back. I was confused I thought maybe we forgot something at our table or underpaid (which I know for a fact we didn’t). But he kindly asked “Would you guys write a review for us, please?” It was so sweet and of course we said yes. I would highly recommend Va Mo Là if you are ever in Bologna.

The girls and I began walking back to our apartment and stopped at a local bar called Drogheria to grab a drink.

All the seating outside was full but the servers literally grabbed a table and chairs out of storage just for us. He even pulled the heater closer to us to stay warm. We each grabbed a drink, some cocktails, and some beer. The drinks arrived fairly quickly to our table except for mine. I waited a bit longer just to see that maybe they are still making my Moscow mule, but it never came. I asked another server to grab me one because the other guy must have forgotten. I waited again, and it still didn’t come. I was so confused. After a solid 20 minutes, I talked to my original server again-he apologized and finally brought me my cocktail. Thankfully, my drink was free and he discounted the other drinks as well on the bill. I would say their service in the end was nice although they made a mistake on my order. But that’s life, mistakes happen sometimes.

It was getting fairly late, and since we had to check out early the next morning from our Airbnb, we decided to call it a night in Bologna.

The next morning we woke up, packed our bags, and made it out the door. But in the morning, I am grumpy AF before I get my caffè (espresso). Luckily enough, there was a bar just below our apartment complex . I am pretty sure it was called Bar L’una. I am not 100% positive, but it is located on Via Antonio Gramsci just before the roundabout. Some of us got a caffè or a cappuccino and some small pastries. The older couple who own this bar served us and they were a riot. The woman would play this cute little singing toy and joke around with us. The man was exactly the same and you could tell this couple was a match made in heaven. They were the crazy aunt and uncle you actually wanted in your family-so humble, and welcoming. After saying grazie mille (Thank you very much), we made our way to the station and hopped on the next train to Florence…

Bologna Wow. What a time with wine, friends, and traveling. A few months ago, in November, I traveled to Bologna and Florence, Italy with some of my closest friends from Philadelphia.