#i am INCREDIBLY young to be in a committed long term queer relationship

[bigweldindustries]

laughin @ my mum being like "ur brother is sad he wants a relationship like yours" what am i meant to do about that bro

[swiftieinlove91]

thank u taylor

hey taylor. hey tumblr.

this is my first tumblr account, and I made it because I know Taylor Swift lurks on here sometimes, and I hope this message finds her.

Taylor, I want to say thank you, and I didn't know of any way you might see it better than tumblr. You have been such a huge influence in my life - sometimes in ways I haven't always realized until years later. I remember the first time I heard one of your songs, and connected it to you, and realized I loved it. It was "Love Story," and my mom was driving me to Friendly's before school started that day to meet up with a bunch of fellow drama kids the morning of opening night of one of our plays (it was a tradition for us to meet for breakfast). I remember that the sky was a steely blue-grey, and that I was full of anticipation and nerves and hope for that night. I'd been homeschooled most of my life, and it was my first time joining in on this breakfast tradition. I hoped some of the other kids liked me. I had a crush on one of the stage crew boys. and Love Story came on the radio and something about it hit me in that moment - I was young, I was in love, I had hopes and fears and parents who I couldn't always count on to support me. your song affirmed and soothed all of that, and added to the young, naive, fragile, intense beauty of that moment.

later, i was in grad school and 1989 had just come out. i had the cd and it was the only thing i ever played in my car, just on repeat. from the joyfulness of "welcome to new york" (which i would play without fail every time i drove from grad school in maine to home to buffalo, NY, making sure to have it blasting at exactly the moment when I crossed into NY), the no-f's-given attitude of "shake it off," to the devastating, wrenching, cleansing sadness of "clean." I played that album so much that friends i carpooled with regularly inadvertently became swifties as a result of me driving them around xD

then, later, i was a young woman who had just ended an engagement, after a 6-year-long relationship that started when i was 19, in my mid-20s and feeling hot and vibrant and sexy and strong and powerful and untouchable for the first time ever. Reputation came out and i felt all the strong, sensual energy in every single song. It became the anthem to my being. you helped me, you showed me that it was possible and beautiful and completely okay to step into my power. i was single and i was living alone for the first time ever and i was so unsure and so scared but you helped me feel like i had power, and I would figure all those things out.

lover buoyed me as i tried to re-navigate love again after ending such a long and serious commitment. it provided both salve for the wounds, in terms of beautiful songs like "death by a thousand cuts," as well as hope for more and better, in songs like, of course, "lover."

and then the pandemic hit, and you literally saved my life. "folklore" and "evermore" were incredible, precious gifts. they felt so authentic - like less-planned, just loving gifts to your fans and the people who love you. they are what got me through 2020. i was living in Dakar, Senegal at the time the pandemic started, and in late march i was mandatorily evacuated by the US govt back to buffalo. i had nowhere to live, no car, no savings, no health insurance, no plan (my plan had been to continue to live and work abroad for a few years, then pursue a doctorate degree abroad). i watched everything i'd planned and worked so hard for fall apart in the matter of a week. and then folklore came along, and it helped soothe me, and helped me feel connected to everyone else in the world who was going through similar things - our lives and plans and dreams coming derailed by something none of us had planned for, could have possibly planned for.

this was also when i started to really reflect on myself and who i am (i had a lot of time lol). i finally felt free and strong and ready enough to step into my queer identity. i don't know if it was intentional or not, and i don't want to assume anything about your personal life, but songs like "seven" and "betty" and "august" helped me come into that truth about myself. again, i don't want to assume anything about you personally, but your songs helped me find and be okay with myself, and i want to thank you.

and then evermore was just icing on a gift-cake ;) i went through another really bad breakup in 2021, one that shook my perception of reality to its core. your songs kept me grounded.

and now, here we are, post-midnights. i met you there at midnight. i stayed up til 4 am on a worknight to listen to the full album, several times through, and then the bonus tracks. i SCREECHED at the beginning of "vigilante shit." i danced along to the full album. i cried during "question...?" and "sweet nothing."

in between all of this, for the last several years, I watch your "artist of the decade" performance and your live in paris performances from lover and your performance of "false god" on snl and your tiny desk concert and your interviews.

i don't know how you've managed to do it, but i feel like i've grown up with you, and i feel like every album you release is exactly what my heart needs at that moment in time. you've taught me so much about how to find oneself, how to overcome adversity with class and grace, how to tune out the haters, how to believe in myself and my power. thank you. thank you thank you thank you. your music and your words have been here with me throughout my life, buoying and affirming and teaching and loving and powerful. i am so incredibly grateful to be alive in a time and space where i've gotten to grow up alongside you, and so incredibly grateful that you have pushed through everything you have to be the shining light you are.

thank you, taylor <3

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Bimonthly Media Roundup

- Barbie (Movie) - Hell yeah it's here! Got to see this with my three closest gal pals and the energy at the theatre was fantastic, it was genuinely heartwarming to see how many people were dressing up in their best cutesy/pink clothes in the spirit of the film. The movie itself was also great, one of the funniest things I've seen in a long while, pitch perfect casting, on the nose but still entirely accurate social commentary, Incredible set design, and another life affirming-You are who you choose to be story. If I had to complain I'd say that Barbie should have spent a bit more time actually enjoying aspects of the real world in order to justify her decision at the end, but I understand that they didn't want to mess with the pacing so it's whatever. This movie was pure fun, I'll definitely be showing it to my parents when it comes out on streaming. Oh Also! AroAce Barbie rights baby, she's one of us now!

- The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (Anime) - Alright, so this was a nice little story. The couple was genuinely cute both in terms of the individual characters being interesting in their own right and also having a lot of nice moments together, I appreciated how much of the story actually had interesting and relevant things going on outside of their relationship, and I'm shocked and enthused about how actually openly queer the story ended up being by the end-No ambiguity here these girls are gay as hell. I actually wish it was a bit longer - I went to the manga expecting more content and while there where a few nice extra scenes for the most part the anime covers all that's out so far. I wonder if the novels go deeper, I'll keep an eye on that as I'd really like to see if the dragon heart fusion plot went anywhere, it kind of fizzled out in the anime. Still if my main complaint is that I want more than that's not too bad, it get's a major thumbs up from me.

- ENNEAD (Webcomic) - Ah yes, the webcomic I wouldn't quite call a guilty pleasure as I don't feel guilt for enjoying a story with such a unique setting and aesthetic, genuinely engaging writing, and stellar art direction, but which nonetheless feels like one given how much I would never recommend it to anyone I know. I just don't have the mental fortitude to defend the sheer amount of trigger warnings this story would have to include before jumping in. That aside, It was on hiatus for awhile but has picked back up so I binged the new season and am enjoying the slightly lighter tone so far - At the very least the protagonist and love interest are getting a lot of cute, banter heavy, nice moments together which is a welcome change from seasons 2 kind of necessary but still tough to read mass of suffering. Also on a meta level, drama aside, it's pretty funny to see Horus trying defend the genocidal, war crime committing, unapologetic bastard that is Seth on the grounds that he's pretty and sad and is trying his best now okay? He's his poor little meow meow.

- When the Third Wheel Strikes Back (Webcomic) - For some reason a bunch of these chapters either got uploaded or translated all at once as their was like 15 with a new one each day there for a minute. Which, great! this is a fun one to binge. When they are well written, the "Please stop including me in the plot I'm just trying to live quietly" protagonists can be a lot of fun as they keep getting dragged kicking and screaming into increasingly world-altering bullshit and that's this story to a T. The humor in general is pretty great so far, and while we don't know too much about them yet I do like both deuteragonists, I'll be happy to see more of their interactions as a trio.

- Link Click (Anime) - Finished our rewatch of season 1, onto season 2. While I'm interested in the plot, I do still wish they would have spent more time with our leads outside of their job as I still don't feel like I know them very well, but eh at least their likable and serve the rising suspense well. The new OP is super cool with it's full scale rewind giving new meaning to each visual and overall the series still looks great. I like the design of the new villain though I hate the "overtly evil anime face" that he (rarely) and his subordinates (often) use - It just makes me irrationally angry with it's lack of nuance I guess.

- Lego Monkie Kid(Cartoon) - I'm a fan of Journey to the West and Sun WuKong adaptations in general so I decided to check this out despite not really being the demographic or a big LEGO fan. I'm a couple episodes into the 2nd season so far and my general opinion is that I like it but don't love it yet. The animation and voice acting is great and lego-fication aside I do like the character designs, I just feel that for now there's not enough of a central plot/lore information on the cast and a bit too much basic fighting for my taste. Mostly I just want them to address how the other journey to the west counterparts relate to the original story (are they reincarnations? Ancestors? Why does the Monkey King seem completely uninterested in them?) and feature more non-fighting related character bonding. Anyway, MK, Mei, and especially Red Son are all fun so far and I love the Macaque's demon design and the "Sun WuKongs bitter ex BF" vibes he's giving off, exited to see more of all of them.

- Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth (Video Game) - Hmm. Well I have to agree with the general opinion that the first one was one of the lesser games in the series - I did like some of the new characters like Badd and Lang but man did the cases drag and feature a lot of uninteresting nonsense. I'm not too impressed with the 2nd game yet either though there has been some funny writing moments and Sebastian is kind of hilarious, so I feel like it will probably be better than the first.

- Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Video Game) - Getting a bit burnt out from the sheer amount of Stuff to do in this game, but I did enjoy infiltrating the Yiga base and hanging out with them, they're pretty fun. Might take a longer break from it here soon and finish the game at a later date like I did with Persona 5-Great games but man is there a lot of content.

- Crazy Ex Girlfriend (TV) - Getting into the endgame now, the meta jokes are pretty fun and I appreciate the themes of self-reflection and making amends that this season has going not only for Rebecca but for the other characters as well. Songs still slap as well.

Listening to: Sway Cover and Eat Your Young Cover by Reinaeiry, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, 10 Things I Hate About You by Leah Kate, That's What I Want by Lil Nas X, I Wish and Gravel to Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko, What'll It Be and You Do/Don't Want To Be Crazy from Crazy Ex Girlfriend, Rule #4 by Fish Inside a BirdCage, and This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole.

[theladykit]

I received an excellent ask from @the-gay-lady-of-ravenclaw-tower and I was happy to answer it, but because I am a Tumblr old I accidentally replied to the first part of the ask instead of the second, and now it’s gone. So I’m going to reproduce it and include my answer below. I hope this can help others, too! Fair warning that I am long-winded and the post is very long as well. If anyone has suggestions about how to make it more readable (I have ADHD and long blocks of text are not my friend, so I get it), send me a message and let me know!

Hi, Ryn! Sorry if this ask is intrusive, feel free to ignore. You're the first non-binary person I've seen on here who's really fully an adult (to me grown up = older than 30-35) and I was wondering if you had any advice you'd like to share with younger queer/non-binary kids. In particular I was wondering how you navigate using gender-neutral pronouns in the workplace and how you build a community/found family with other queer adults. (1/2)

I'm 18, and it's easy to see other queer kids around me in college, but it feels like a bubble. I worry about the world outside of this microcosm and how to navigate queerness in the future. Seeing queer adults like you who have successfully made it through their 20s and survived in the "real world" while building a community is really hopeful for me, especially considering the world was much more hostile in your formative years than mine. Thanks :) (2/2)

Let me first apologize for taking so long on this ask, I wanted to give a considered answer.

I’m honored that you would ask in the first place. I take advice-giving pretty seriously, especially when someone is reaching out to me because they’re hoping to take advantage of any experience I might have from being on the planet longer. I want to introduce a couple of caveats, though, so you can take my advice in the context it deserves. 

As you mentioned, I did grow up in a world that was quite a bit more hostile to queerness. On top of that, I’m sure you know we just didn’t have easy access to queer information, and it was a lot more visible when someone was seeking it. Because of this, I didn’t actually figure out my queerness (though I suspected for decades) until a few years ago. However, I’ve tried to throw myself into the queer community as hard as I’m able, and I was always a queer ally. So I’ve been on the fringes for a really long time, even though it’s only now that I’ve been able to experience it from a place of openness. On the other hand, I do think there’s value in that situation, as well, so, take all of this for what you will.

The other caveat is that I left the traditional workplace prior to my accepting my queerness. I have never had to deal with pronoun issues, and I also come from a place of having the luxury of a decent relationship with my original pronouns. I am non-binary, but I’m ok (for the most part) with people using she/her for me. That said, my background is in accounting, and the firms I worked for, on the whole, probably would not have been thrilled about neutral pronouns, much less neopronouns, especially with anything client-facing. Some of the feelings about this are changing, and some are not. It’s very industry-specific and employer specific, so I feel like the best advice I can give in this situation is to be safe, in whatever way that works for someone. 

I would love to just say have the conversation with your employer in terms of pronouns and presentation and that if they’re not willing to accept even the idea of it, you know that they weren’t probably going to treat you with dignity and respect about being outside of the binary, but because society hasn’t caught up in their understanding and acceptance of anything but cisgender and heteronormative ideals, it is still a privilege too many are excluded from. Why human dignity and respect are treated as privileges, I shall never know, but that’s how it is for so many at this moment in time. So all I can say is try your best to assert yourself in whatever way is safest for you, and to know that there are lots of adults rooting for you and willing to help when and where they can, even if we can’t change everything immediately. It still sucks that we have to couch it this way, but I do think it’s important to remember that at least in some places we can have the conversation. It’s not enough, and it will never be enough until we don’t have to think about it anymore, but change is always going to be too slow for marginalized communities. 

The found family is where I feel most comfortable answering. My peer group, the oldest Millennials, was really the first youth group to benefit from the presence of ubiquitous, reliable internet as a way to find new relationships, whether platonic, romantic, whatever. And I have to say, we found it in the same ways then as a lot of young adults do now: fandom spaces, very primitive means of social media (ah, the heady days of the message board), various websites and communities that we, along with a lot of other age groups, built. I personally met most of my found family through a fandom space, and while none of us really retain ties to that fandom anymore, our love for each other has only grown. The rest of my sort of extended found family, if you will, I met through in-person spaces, like the classes I took in college, things like that. I think one of the most important pieces of that puzzle is not being afraid to reach out through your interests. I also think that’s not so different from when I was around your age. The spaces themselves are a lot different to navigate, and I do not envy you with the sort of omni-present fight against purity culture, which we did not really have to address, but building a community is pretty much the same no matter if it’s online, in-person, formalized like a city, or anything else. It takes work and commitment and a willingness to see it succeed, and it will change and evolve a lot as you go on. Not all found family is permanent, and there’s nothing wrong with that, either. There are people who have passed out of my life, and rightly so, that I was certain at the time would be with me forever. But it’s ok. I grew as a person, and I grew in a different direction than worked for our relationship. I grew in a direction that brought me toward my found family. 

I should also probably point out that my found family is, on the whole, not queer. A few of us are, or have ties to queerness, but there’s a variety of sexualities, genders, etc. I think you’re right to say that queerness can be kind of a bubble, but there are lots of people who want to embrace what may have started out as queer ideals because they recognize it’s how they want to live, even if they themselves are not queer. I think especially people my age and younger are realizing that they want families that are supportive and nurturing, and I am sorry to say it but that’s rooted in queerness in a way that most normative family dynamics are not. We’ve had no choice, we either had each other or no one else. Queerness, on some level, means found family—or at least queerness that doesn’t rely on trying to emulate the cisgender heteropatriarchy for acceptance. So the two ideas are really intertwined and it’s completely understandable why so many queer people gravitate toward families they built themselves. How to do that is as varied as any queer experience, but comfortingly, it’s still the same as any other kind of relationship at its core. Give it time, which is no one’s favorite advice, but that is the best I’ve got. Make sure you’re getting what you need in addition to helping others with what they need. Be kind and loving and supportive, and above all, bring compassion to the table every moment that you can. Empathy is good, too, but compassion and kindness will steer you better, I think, more often than empathy will. 

I know this is an incredibly long answer, and this is as concise as I could make it. These are big questions, and I am not a concise person by nature. :) Good luck, and I’m here to talk if you need, and that extends to any queer young adults that want advice. We have to band together, we all have so many wonderful things to contribute, and I for one am looking forward to seeing what you and your peers add to the discussion over the years.