#bc IM t4t and my two best friends are also t4t

[bigweldindustries]

laughin @ my mum being like "ur brother is sad he wants a relationship like yours" what am i meant to do about that bro

[shortnsweetgf]

i feel you may be getting more than you bargained for

im poly btw. t4t etc etc etc whatever. anyways. up until yesterday i had two gf’s, one who was ldr and the other who’s my roommate’s sister. literally broke up with the first one last night bc poly stuff wasn’t working for her which is hence why i asked this other person to make me a drink, and she knows why bc she went how are youuuu and i was so tired and i’m like hm. i don’t know her well enough to be honest and thought about it for way too long so i was just silent for like a minute and then laughed and went im fineeee and she was like THAT was a response. n then i was blushing bc fuck she’s CUTE. like damn im over here trying to be normal. the amount of times i’ve sat in this kitchen looking at someone with heart eyes while my roommate is semi oblivious is embarrassing. anyways. like i said. best behavior. im leaving them be. plus i have work tomorrow

housing situation is a whole mess of its own but, my roommate’s sister isn’t *actually* his sister, she’s found family but they consider each other that. when i first met her she was wearing like tight leggings and a crop top and i was trying so so hard but i was looking and she said since seeing me she had already decided she’d be down if i was. roommate had a bday party and we ended up talking more and cuddling and yeahhhh. it was pretty great tbh. she’s so sos so so so cool (she’s also like 8 years older than me but that’s besides the point) and so nice and she drives a lime green motorcycle and i’ve ridden on the back of it and tbh it wasn’t as scary as i thought it was gonna be! i trust her. anyways she’s picking me up from work tomorrow and we’re going to this arcade bar that i’ve never been to with her friends and i’m nervous bc i haven’t met her friends, it is still a work night, night stuff isn’t always my scene and i still need to get my new loops. but anyways being with her is like hella new, like, maybe a little over a week and given things with the last person i told her i want to take things slow (ish) given how we started and it seems like we’re on the same page. so a lot going thru my head rn.

one, heartbreak bc literally last night and. OH FUCK. OH FICK FUCODJDJDJ okay. so. call me an asshole if u want but we broke up over text which is a whole thing and i apologized for it bc i should’ve waited. but she kept wanting like. like complete and total resolution and i didn’t want to lie to her. anyways i felt like i should resolve this more so i said we could call tn and i totally. fucking. forgot. gonna kms it’s way too late now, tf am i supposed to say to her. i was dreading that phone call but now i’m kicking myself im sitting here like half tipsy and a little giddy and FUCk

OH THIS GOT WILDER im not sober enough to know jow to answer yoh rn but good luck bestie i hope everything works out 😭

[scyfozoa]

Tell about your ocs pls 83

HI ofc i will !!! rn im Very fucking hyperfixated on my genshin oc so it will be abt him ...

his name is kou! hes an half adeptus (his father was an adeptus), and hes half liyuenian - snezhnayan.

he has been living in liyue his whole life – when he was 5, his mother had to leave liyue and go back to snezhnaya, due to her being in the fatui. they were in a very bad financial spot and she had no choice but go back. so in the end, she left kou with his father, who of course she trusted the most in the world. but sadly, she was wrong.

it was only a few months after when kous father basically got bored of taking care of him. he didnt want to have a child constantly being in his way, so he decided to just abandon him, leaving him in some private orphanage. (he thought of other ways to get rid of him though – leave him with another adeptus ( which wouldnt work because kous father was not liked by the other adepti; or send him to the house of the hearth – he didnt want to travel that far).

due to the fact that kous mother was constantly on the move, she didnt have an address that letters were sent to – instead, it was passed from one fatui agent to another. so when she finally recieved the letter from her husband talking about how he abandoned their son and is leaving them both, already 3 and a half months have passed.

immediately after, kou's mother went back to liyue, even if for a single day. she got kou out of the orphanage, and brought him to one good friend she made in liyue – baizhu, who only graduated from the akademiya a few years prior. (im still an akademiya student baizhu believer okay let me cope) from that day onwards, baizhu has been taking care of kou.

now all grown up, kou has been working in the bubu pharmacy for baizhu. he feels as if he has to repay him, despite baizhu constantly reasurring him otherwise. they dont really see each other as father-son, more like uncle-nephew (kou calls him uncle zhuzhu btw😭😭)

kou is a very secluded person, mostly due to his trauma from being abandoned as a child and the abuse he endured in the orphanage (which i wont get into here). also add autism to the mix and being trans, so the young adeptus feels like theres gigantic walls between him and literally everyone else.

when he was younger, he thought he didnt fit into the human society because of being a half-adeptus, and vice versa. but no matter what he does, he cant fit into any of them (its autism. i project HARD onto him.)

about relationships – other than the close relationship he has with baizhu, he sees qiqi has his little sister. but other than that, he never had any "real" friends – that was until gaming came into the picture, introduced to him by baizhu. he was frequently delivering stuff from to the bubu pharmacy to make as much money as possible, as it was right after he ran away (i hc that gaming ran away at like nearly 15 years old, and that hes 18 when we meet him ingame; him and kou are the same age, kou only a few weeks older).

the two of them instantly felt connected by each other, despite their personalities being complete polar opposites. but they had their similarities – very troubled family situation, feeling like they were alone in the world (+ both of them were early into their transitions - yes all my faves get hit with transgender beam. gaming included. kouming t4t to me.)

the two grew extremely close, being each others absolute best friends in the whole world, but with time, their friendship grew into something more – and they have been dating for a few months now.

thanks to gaming, kou started to open up to more people and made some more friends :3. hes good friends with xingqiu, bc bookworms. kou tells xingqiu about snezhnayan literature often.

other than that – kou's relationship with his mother consists of a monthly letter from the latter. both kou and his mother want to have a normal relationship and they miss each other terribly, but kous mother has to stay in the fatui due to now being a really high ranking fatui operative, directly working with the 7th harbringer, sandrone. (well its quite a stretch to call their relationship a purely work based one, but ill save that for a diff post about kous mother. iykyk) so once a month kou is visited by two fatui agents sent by his mother to check up on him – aleksander and adrianna. over the years all three grew really close, kou often dragging the two to visit his favourite spots in liyue.

last relationship – kou has an older sister. his mother was married once before, having a single daughter, but due to personal conflicts and her previous-previous husband not liking that she was in the fatui, they divorced, the daughter staying with her father. shes 9 years older than kou, travelling thru teyvat looking for inspiration for her clothes – she runs fashion shows all over teyvat, often collaborating with the chioriya boutique.

these two only recently started to get close after their mother made them meet up – ever since, they frequently write to each other and kous sister loves to send him clothes she sew for him. i dont have much more about her atm tho, still designing her.

ok . sorry for yapping a lot. and sorry if some rhings r confusing, i still dont have names for kous parents and his sister 🥲 heres some kou art, im working on his full ref sheet + splash art right now !!

[hematomes]

for the send me a character ask game can I request shenhe/xinyan/rosaria??

SHENHE!!!!

Sexuality Headcanon: aroace lesbian!!

Gender Headcanon: id say genderqueer, she doesn't really know

A ship I have with said character: shenhe x yunjin they're. ough. OUGH.

A BROTP I have with said character: ganyu!!!!!

A NOTP I have with said character: chongyun for the love of god stop shipping them she's literally his aunt there is no AMBIGUITY about them

A random headcanon: MHMHMHMH she also likes xinyan music, like her gf

General Opinion over said character: she's really cool honestly, i don't know much about her beyond the quest but i like her mwah

XINYAN BEST GIRL

Sexuality Headcanon: MHHH bi or pan depending on the label she prefers

Gender Headcanon: probably cis but like the biggest ally

A ship I have with said character: ALSO YUNJIN WOO. she has two hands

A BROTP I have with said character: xiangling!!! also childe, the event was lit

A NOTP I have with said character: nothing that i can think of rn tbh

A random headcanon: she's left-handed in my heart. bc she's just like me fr

General Opinion over said character: I LOVE HER. I HATE THAT HYV MADE HER KIT SO DIFFICULT. she deserves the world and she gives so much and!!! I WANT TO BE HER FRIEND

ROSARIAAA

Sexuality Headcanon: aro bi icon aro bi icon aro bi icon kisses her and kisses her and kisse-

Gender Headcanon: mtf QUEEN

A ship I have with said character: kaeya WOOO they're t4t bi bitches. also it's queerplatonic

A BROTP I have with said character: razor!!!! and barbara!!!

A NOTP I have with said character: RAZOR!!! AND BARBARA!!!! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME

A random headcanon: she likes the idea of being a big sister so so much. slightly resents jean for not really taking care of barbara

General Opinion over said character: I WANT HER. TO SMOTHER ME. PLEASE JUST ONE CHANCE IM ON MY KNEES

[dirt-grub]

character that literally exists only to be a gay joke:

me: thats him. thats my favorite 

[c-kiddo]

I think the M9 are just one big nd queer friend group (yes this is because irl me and my best friends make a purely ND + queer friend group) and I love thinking of how they would adjust to the comfort of that over time. Like leaving stim toys out to share (I think jester would have a big horde to share), using each other to casually pressure stim, automatically adjusting for each other's sensory issues and stuff. I also think they would all know sign language, I hc Molly would have learned and then taught yasha (who totally goes nonverbal), and beau and Caleb would have learned on their own (Caleb because he's autistic like yasha and beau because she wants to understand her loved ones). I think cad would have invented a different basic sign language with his siblings or something....sibling bond you know? I see cad, Caleb and Yasha as like. The super autistic trio. Caleb got diagnosed young and taught them about it and cad is like oh there's a name for that in my family nobody questions it....*goes back to organizing tea* and Yasha would be like. Oh I'm not a freak for that I thought I was just clinically weird....*goes and sits in a corner and doesn't say anything for 3 days*. Jester and fjord are absolutely an adhd t4t bi couple I don't think that needs an explanation. Beau is adhd too for sure and maybe also autistic. Veth and Molly idk I could see veth as any combo and Molly is. Molly. Maybe the token nt idk lol I was never that attached to his character lol. Ok that's it for now but I literally think of nd m9 all the time like every day, campaign 2 is my second biggest spin so these are my favorite headcanons to read and think about 🙂

wa yea,, tmn totally are queer + nd friendgroup solidarity. also i think they'd share some stimtoys, but also have their own too, like jester (token rich friend) buys them cool ones, colour coordinated and everythign :-3 she bought cad a chewy necklace thats purple n a gemstone like the amethyst on his staff and he thinks its so epic cool, now his hair doesnt get crunchy from chewing, and his sleeves dont get weird-smelling.

also ye!!! they all sign for sure. theres a bit of a mix-up in the beginning tho because some of them only know certain signing, especially cad.. his family use their own one based on sylvan signing (headcanon they speak sylvan at home too, and giant, then common after those two) and things made up by him and his siblings too. caleb probably knew a zemnian version of signing but its similar enough to wildemount common signing that its ok, plus he's good at memorising and learning the new things anyway. him and beau also end up learning sylvan signing to help communicate with cad if he cant talk and sounds are too much. also for sure think molly n yasha have some signing variation they used, though maybe they made it up together, especially when molly showed up and couldn't speak yet. and it just went on from there and ended up being very useful. also i think molly goes between not being able to speak and speakign 100mph, like often its one or the other lol. (headcanon molly had the fantasy magic version of a traumatic brain injury, caused by souls leaving and being dead and things. fantasy magic, astral sea, brain attacking, things)

also agree abt caleb having known he's autistic for a loooong while, diagnosed as a kid because he arranged everything into rows and only wanted to read like 1 book over and over and hid from noises. yasha definitly just went through life thinking she's weird,, i mean, canon. lol. and ye!! thats a cooll idea abt cads family having a name for it.. he's like, oh, this is [word for it in sylvan or somthing], me and belle and my mam are it (probably more or all of th clays but ,thats jsut an example).

okie okei, last bit. bullet points. speed round akjdna then bed time. adhd t4t fjorester so true. i think veth has nd girl swag for sure, but im not sure between adhd and autism, besides other things bc i could totally diagnose tmn with all sorts of neurodivergencies not just those two. (caleb ocd moments, beau bpd momence, cad quiet type bpd, if you may, as a treat)...... also nt molly is a funny idea 2 me. i think he's nd for sure. not autistic, he's too spontaneous n theres nothing in canon rly i can turn to autism..... so, i shall have a think. definitely brainweird for sure. oh ! oh molly psychosis haver for sure. molly cad and caleb all psychotic. euhh h yeah i think thats all this is long ramble now i should go to bed

(same hat @ cr2 being 2nd biggest special interest hellyea )

[space-city-traffic]

yet again im back on my bullshit so... (gazes with mixed feelings at the TV show Firefly) i could fix him.

my extremely long thoughts about my Own Personal Good Version of Firefly (with plenty of spoilers for the show and the movie) under the cut:

things that are getting axed first thing no question:

out with the whole “let’s add in a thin veneer of Chinese cultural aesthetics out of context for ~flavor~” deal. just no.

instead, let’s hire some actors from a bunch of different cultures and work with them to figure out how their characters would bring those cultures into space with them!! and also hopefully bring some experiences with immigration/alienation/travel into it, since the Whole Core of Firefly is about how humanity always brings our doomed and silly and stubborn and unique warmth with us even into the cold void where nothing is familiar or homey in the slightest.

let’s respect our sex worker character shall we?

i do appreciate that Inara’s work as a companion is described as legitimate and well respected in the show. however please stop having your captain and hero call her a wh*re every five seconds against her clearly expressed wishes and portraying this as just a totally acceptable thing

let’s be more respectful of our characters of color and also have some more diversity, shall we?

others have put it better than me but yeah, the way Zoe and Book are treated is very uncomfy, and the rest of the show is depressingly monochromatic. come on let’s do better.

stop the weird confederacy hat tips

again others have pointed these out with much more thoroughness than I could, but the names of some characters and locations, as well as some of the language used to describe the browncoats, has uncomfortably confederate vibes. instead i propose we very Clearly tip our hats to the Alliance equaling space capitalism instead! you can’t go wrong with space capitalism as a villain.

don’t! make! the! psychotic! character! violent!

listen i love River Tam with my whole heart. but you should absolutely not portray your only character with psychosis as violent because of that psychosis!!!!!!! and yeah, a huge part of her character is that her brain got fucked up by the alliance and so she hallucinates and is also a super ninja. but like. she doesn’t need to be a super ninja for her character to work, okay? the crew does not need to be scared of her for her character to work, okay??? more on this later bc it would take a lot of care and nuance to make her character work but i really think it can be done

things we are absolutely keeping:

found family tropes my fucking beloved

this should be self evident. this is why the show is as appealing as it is despite its flaws, at least in my eyes.

malcolm reynolds, the knight in dusty armor

there’s something so appealing to me about what Mal stands for. because at his core is this ridiculous, silly, stubborn, doomed devotion to what he thinks is important and right, a romantic idealism thinly covered by cynical cowboy platitudes that he thinks make his bleeding heart totally invisible. and he is so obvious and entirely incorrect. bless. this is a man who will do anything for his family, who charges into swordfights to defend his friend from a man who wants to turn her into an object despite having no clue how to hold a sword. at his worst, he starts brawls in bars just for the martyr’s thrill of being persecuted for supporting the right; at his best, he inspires downright religious belief from his crew because he represents a romantic and chivalrous and doomed dedication to the right thing over any practical concerns. and then he throws a “selfish” quip over it with 100% confidence that everyone fell for his clever distraction and believes him to be a dirtbag. he’s oblivious and ridiculous and god he makes me want to be a better person because he’s just so goddamned sincere. stupid, but sincere. 10/10 himbo. <3

Mal and Inara ultraslowburn friends to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to friends to...

there’s nothing i love more than a ship that’s just two people who know each other way too well, and they’re each the only one who knows the other well enough to call them out on their bullshit. the way Mal and Inara interact in the show sometimes makes me uncomfy but like. the core of their relationship has to stay.

space western aesthetic

i need the cows on a spaceship scene to stay like i need air okay

that sweet sweet religious shit

mal, who lost his faith in gd and a whole lot else during the war. who lost his faith in himself, and now feels he has to hide the part of him that still wants to be good, because he knows he can’t be anymore, and he feels like it’s embarrassing for a guy like him to want something so unattainable. who takes a preacher on board, and the preacher has lost something, too. the preacher has his own past, and his own questions. but not questions like the observant neurodivergent girl, the one who wants to interact with and understand this thing that’s so important to him, but it just doesn’t click with how her brain works and she feels like something needs to be fixed, either the Bible or herself. and Mal takes care of them all, and slowly, he begins to find gd again, not in a prayer but in humanity. humanity doesn’t need to be fixed, like the alliance thinks. the shining imperfect strawberry sweetness of it in his family’s smiles is something to be worshiped and served and devoted to. and he finds he has something to believe in again. (and his crew find that he’s given them someone to believe in, too. and maybe suddenly he’s a saint.)

and finally, my brilliant ideas as to what i would like to add:

TRANS WOMAN KAYLEE RIGHTS

listen her femininity is so important to me okay? it’s so thrilled about everything that’s pretty, from dresses to the spaceship’s electric innards, and it’s so non-traditional and grease stained until it’s not and it’s pink and ruffly and twirly, and she never sees any of it as a contradiction, because none of it contradicts, it’s all just her! her gender is warmth and love and prettiness, feeling pretty and appreciating the pretty and making her friends’ days pretty too.

i want us to find out she’s trans in that episode with the ball, and i want us to find out alongside Mal who just never asked or never realized. Kaylee gasps and squeals at the dress in the shop window and Mal makes an off handed, ill considered comment, and then... someone yanks him aside and hisses a few very significant words in his ear. and suddenly he remembers what the blue white and pink she painted all over the engine room means, and he knows he has something to make right. so he buys her that dress himself and lets her know just how pretty she looks, and when he walks into that ball with her displayed on his arm like something precious, he looks the proudest out of any man there. and she notices. for a few seconds, of course, until there’s chocolate, and ‘nara, and a chandelier—and some horrible girls, but she’s used to that, until—suddenly, she finds her people. a group of old men who light up when she jokes about compression coils and whack presumptuous boys who ask her to dance. they adopt her as a treasured granddaughter, and Mal is beaming at her like a proud dad, and she finds that one of her new elderly friends gazes a little too long at her bracelet, and so she gives it to xem and teaches xem a few new words, and... it’s a good day, huh? it’s a really good day. (of course, then the captain has to go and punch somebody in the face, but it was a real nice party up until then.)

also she and Simon are both transhet t4t im correct and you know it

time for a better River Tam

the first thing we’ve established is that this version of her is not unpredictably violent and the crew is not scared of her!!!! it makes no sense to take a kid who’s primarily brilliant, experiment on her brain, give her telepathic powers....... and tack on the fact that she also has super strength and speed and dexterity and what not, AND say that they programmed her to be super violent. no! no. not only is that extremely harmful rep, that’s also just stupid.

instead!! my version of River is in fact not terrifying to the crew, but is actually the one they feel safest around. River has always been totally blunt, she was one of those kids you could tell realllllly early was autistic, and she doesn’t like being disengenous at all. so you can always trust her to tell the truth and not play weird passive aggressive games or have any hidden agenda, which makes her just a really chill person to be around. also, one of her longtime special interests is music and dance, so whether or not she’s nonverbal on a given day, there will always be some sort of beautiful sound when she’s around. she does have the singing voice of a dying crow unfortunately but that’s ok bc Simon’s is even worse and they’re both incredibly competitive so you’ll at least get free entertainment out of the affair.

my version of River does have psychosis and hallucinations because of the trauma of the experiments, and they are really troubling to her. she and Simon work together to find ways to cope and meds that help, and it’s a process, but there are some things that help.

the only thing she gained from the academy was the ability to hear people’s thoughts and sense the future a little bit. and yeah, that led to her picking up a few spooky secrets at the beginning, which, yikes. and for a while, it was hard to figure out which voices were real and which were hallucinations. but around her friends, she always feels safe to ask “did you just think about triple cheese burritos or was that just a me thing?”, and they’ll always tell her the truth no matter how embarrassing their thoughts are, bc it’s important to all of them to respect her and help her sort accurately through what’s reality and what’s not. and bit by bit, she gets better and better at figuring out what kinds of things tend to be telepathy and what kinds of things tend to be psychosis, and that each one feels a little different. and because of the trust and respect and support of her found family she’s able to do that in a safe environment!!!

trans man Simon rights

listen i wanted to keep him as just a side note on Kaylee’s list but he is my son and he’s important to my heart so here goes

out on the outer rim where Kaylee’s from, gender ain’t much of a big deal, there’s an individualistic quality to life out there, and so if the trail you blaze is the trail of a woman or a man or neither or both, that’s respected even in the rare cases where it’s not outright encouraged. but in the inner planets, where competition and connections and public faces and family names are everything, you have to be what’s expected of you to survive. you can’t change your brand, you can’t be anything other than what your family planned for you since before you were born, it’s incredibly hard to survive in such a hyper competitive environment, and so your very identity becomes just a tool in how to market yourself for better success.

needless to say Simon (just as autistic as his little sister and also very trans) fuckin hated it there. but he was very good at it. correction: he was very good at his very specific field of STEM, good enough to where people stopped talking about how cute he looked in bows and started talking about how impressive his work was from a very young age. and his work had no gender. he could be whatever he wanted to in equations. so that was where he could express himself, and gd, he got so much praise for it, he never wanted to stop.

not until he discovered that his sister needed him, and ran away, and needed a disguise, and realized... suddenly, every stifling rule and prying eye was a million miles away. he was freefloating, freefalling, with none of the charted paths he’d been following all his life... so you know what? fuck it. he’s always enjoyed the name Simon. and since it’s not on any legal records, it’ll make him just that much more untraceable.

and on Serenity, starting over with new people who never knew him before his transition feels like an unbelievable blessing that just dropped right into his lap. he has to keep up the secrecy, he has to make sure they never find out who he used to be, because gd, it’s so nice when they look at him and say his name right, and he doesn’t know if he can handle losing that, not when it’s so new and so important to the person he’s finally becoming. but then one day, the unthinkable happens, the wanted posters for his arrest have an old name on them, they’re looking for the Tam sisters, and... nothing changes. the crew of Serenity could not give even a tenth of a percent of a fuck, and it doesn’t seem like they even know they’re supposed to. huh. that’s new. Simon could get used to that, he thinks.

i’m sure there’s more i could add, but it’s 4:30 in the morning now, so if more occurs to me, ill simply add it in a reblog tomorrow. if you’ve read down this far, i am in love with you. please let me know your Better Firefly ideas, too, bc im always down to yell about this show!!!