#i am a hugger when comfortable! friends and family only typically.

[crescent-cubed]

Okay I've had this in my head for, like, a week now and I need answers dammit

The poll's just there for posterity, but you can also leave your answer in the comments or a reblog if you're comfortable!

[snailvibes]

hi i'm here for the headcanon dump

Thank you

Dear followers I give you: the cuttlefish family headcanon dump (dedf1sh, Callie, Marie, and Agent 4)

• for anyone new here, Marie adopted agent 4. Callie and dedf1sh are dating so they are her aunts in this family dynamic

• Marie has lost them all in the mako mart parking lot. Twice. They now have to wear the “if lost return to Marie” And “I’m Marie” shirts when going out.

• Callie picks Four up from school and gets her fast food every once in a while (it used to be everyday but Marie had to shut that down)

• Dedf1sh and Four both have trouble sleeping so sometimes they’ll both just chill on the couch at 5 am playing video games or just talking

• Four is a hugger. She likes giving hugs and receiving hugs. Every time she sees them she greets her family with a hug. Marie and Callie adore it but it took Ded some getting used to as she hadn’t had physical contact in years. However she does allow it

• Marie took them all to wahoo world once and they got banned on day 1. Ded tried to steal a bunch of candy and nearly got away with it. Callie got into a fight with the mascot. Four accidentally got into the roller coaster line and learned she is terrified of roller coasters. Marie nearly collapsed from just trying to find them all.

• Marie’s a very overprotective mom, you even look at Four wrong you are getting a taste of agent 2’s sniping skills

• they all absolutely play minecraft together and have a world together. Dedf1sh cheats and gets everyone stuff from the creative menu, Four has a HUGE farm with tons of potatoes, Bees, and cows, Callie has killed the ender dragon 3 times, and Marie builds them all houses and goes after any mob that jump scares Four or Callie

• Everyone’s music tastes varies drastically, so long car rides are just a fun mess. Because they all love each other though, they tolerate it, even if Dedf1sh and Callie added stuff like “bruh sound effect #2” into the mix

• Agent 8 and Agent 4 are best friends so the Off the Hook fam will often come over and hang out so the two can go off and do their own thing. (Four freaked out the first time it happened because she didn’t know pearl and marina are eight’s moms and she’s a huge fan lol)

• When someone’s having a bad day it’s all hands on deck.

• if it’s Marie having a bad day, Four will stay by her a bunch and make her drawings and give her hugs. Callie will try and get what’s wrong out of her cousin, and whether she does or doesn’t, she’ll help out extra around the house so Marie doesn’t have to stress. Ded will ask if there’s anything she can do to help, and if there isn’t she’ll give Marie some space or bring her shiny things because that is my headcanon of dedf1sh’s way of showing affection.

• if it’s Callie having a bad day, Four will ask if she wants to get some fries and just hang out. Marie will stay by her and just remind her that she’s here for her and she’s not alone, she doesn’t want any bad day to get bad enough to turn into the whole brainwashing thing again. Ded will hold her and cuddle with her, Callie’s the only one she feels comfortable doing that with, and they’ll talk about random things to get her mind off it. Also she’ll get her a cool rock.

• if it’s Dedf1sh having a bad day, Four will show her some of her favorite songs and they’ll listen to music together. Marie will ask Callie for advice on how she can help, which typically includes bringing some of her favorite foods over. Callie will hold her hand the entire day and shower her girlfriend with affection.

• if it’s Four having a bad day, Marie will convince her to go out and do things with her to distract her from it, and if it’s bad enough, she hugs her and lets her get it out if she needs to. Callie will offer to play some video games with her and remind her things are ok, and Dedf1sh would get her music equipment out and let Four sit on her lap and make some things with her

• final headcanon they all love each other and they’re a family your honor

[peepingtoad]

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐚 𝐈𝐜𝐡𝐚!~

(Answered from a post-war perspective)

► Name ➔ “I’ve go by many names! The Toad Sage, The Village’s Madness, The White-Maned Toad-Charmer, The Legendary Hermit Of Mount  Myōboku, That Bastard Who Still Hasn’t Paid Off His Tab (it’s coming soon, I swear!)... but most know me simply as Jiraiya. Ogata Jiraiya is my full name nowadays, ever since I was accepted into the sacred clan of the Myōboku toads!” ► Are you single? ➔ “Eternally, it seems—but don’t let that fool you! My diary is never short of upcoming dates. Speaking of, are you free next Friday?~” ► Are you happy? ➔ “The happiest I’ve ever been! Not everything in life is perfect, even now, but I’m enjoying it to the full!” ► Are you angry? ➔ “Do bratty theatrics count as ‘anger’? I know, I know, it’s quite a glaring flaw of mine...” ► Are your parents still married? ➔ “My dear, I don’t think my parents were ever even considered an item. Who knows if they ever met again, but given my age I doubt my father is alive now, either.”

EIGHT FACTS

► Birth Place ➔ “Konohagakure, born and raised! My mother, I believe, was from what would become unified as the Land of Fire, but my father? He was from the Land of Lightning, as far as I’ve been able to deduce.” ► Hair Color ➔  “White as the clouds on a sunny day in Spring! About as fluffy, too. Touch it, if you like~”  ► Eye Color ➔  “They look black, until you come up real close. Then, you’ll find that they’re a deep yet piercing grey.” ► Birthday ➔ “Eleventh of November—a nice, simple eleven-eleven, no matter where you’re from!” ► Mood ➔  “You don’t have to spend much time with me to see that I take life with a relaxed, humorous and cheerful attitude, but... haha. I can be a little prone to childish outbursts, I can admit.” ► Gender ➔ “Just a manly kinda dude. I’m not sure, to this day, what exactly makes a man—but I’m comfortable being one.” ► Summer or winter ➔  “I feel like if I had to choose one, I’d only miss the other before long. I appreciate all the changes that come with the seasons... but I suppose, in general, I’m more of a summery type.” ► Morning or afternoon ➔ “I’m definitely an early bird kinda guy. I like to rise early, have breakfast and coffee while watching the sun rise, and I find it’s when I’m the most inspired to do things. But I must say, nothing beats a lazy afternoon nap after a productive morning!”

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

► Are you in love? ➔ “Perpetually. I’m in love with the very idea of love. It sure helps with writing romance, I’ll tell you that much for free!” ► Do you believe in love at first sight? ➔ “Perhaps not love, with all the weight the word has, but I definitely believe in that spark. The feeling you get when you’re compelled by some unexplained force to learn more about a person, to spend time with them and see what makes them tick. Lust, on the other hand... well, that’s certainly something that can rear its head in a flash.” ► Who ended your last relationship? ➔ “The last one, I believe, ended with a mutual, amicable agreement. It’s something that is sadly quite commonplace with my travelling lifestyle, but I like to maintain contact with those I’ve cared about and who care about me in turn. Usually by letter—although, I admit, sometimes even that connection gets lost with time.” ► Have you ever broken someone’s heart? ➔ “I’m pretty sure I’m incredibly guilty of this. Especially in my younger years, I was a little careless with people’s hearts, by lack of forethought, rather than a lack of care for their feelings. I do what I can to be upfront and avoid it now, but sometimes these things can’t be avoided. It’s hard, you know, being this addictive!” ► Are you afraid of commitments? ➔ “Hmmm. Romantically speaking... I wouldn’t say I fear it, I just... avoid it, for the most part. I don’t want to make that promise unless I’m absolutely sure I can keep it... and I guess that scenario just hasn’t come up for me, yet. So worry not, there’s still a chance for all you single ladies out there~” ► Have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “I’ll hold my hands up and confess that I’m a hugger, through and through. I couldn’t tell you who, or how many people I’ve hugged recently—it’s just second nature for me to do so!” ► Have you ever had a secret admirer? ➔ “Judging by some of the love letters I receive in the old PO Box, I’d go as far as to say I have them in multitudes. Heh.” ► Have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Hmm. I feel like in my past, I’ve sacrificed many chances in favour of other duties and paths I had to commit to. And I think, yes, I was the cause of my own heartbreak at various points thanks to that.”

SIX CHOICES

► Love or lust? ➔ “In an ideal world, both. Is that cheating? They can both end up feeling rather incomplete without the other, in the long term. And for me, lust comes part and parcel with love—but that’s not necessarily the case the other way ‘round... Bah. I couldn’t possibly choose! My novels wouldn’t be so exciting with such clear-cut distinctions, and I say the same applies to life!” ► Lemonade or iced tea? ➔ “Definitely iced tea. I’m much more a fan of still drinks—unless it’s beer!” ► Cats or Dogs? ➔ “I’m not allowed to say frogs, am I? No? Well... I do like both cats and dogs. Though I must say, a cat that acts like a dog is very charming. I think, equally so, a dog that acts like a cat would be charming! But I think, if you’re really gonna press me about it, I’d choose cats, whether they’re doggish or cattish. They’re a lot more easygoing and less dependent. Plus, there’s nothing more relaxing than having a big, lazy cat snoozing on your lap!” ► A few best friends or many regular friends? ➔ “I’ve always been one for small, tightly knit circles, as much as that can often lead to more... complicated friendships.” ► Wild night out or romantic night in? ➔ “I hardly think I can answer that, given it depends entirely on the mood at the time! I’m gonna say neither, because my favourite way to spend time with someone is out, but somewhere intimate, where we can talk. A cosy bar where we can people-watch, followed by a walk along the riverside or along a nature trail... and maybe, if we’re feeling daring, some canoodling beneath the stars~” ► Day or night? ➔ “I love the day, but it can get very busy and overly exciting. It’s wonderful when night arrives, and you can just unwind from all that. Plus, all the good bars, casinos and other establishments open at night, if you catch my drift. Which, I guess, isn’t conducive to the whole unwinding thing, but I’m nothing if not capricious at times!”

FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS

► Been caught sneaking out? ➔ “I didn’t exactly have anyone to catch me sneaking out, but I’ve certainly been caught, uh... sneaking around, in general.” ► Fallen down/up the stairs? ➔ “Not that I remember, and that’s all that matters, alright? ... Ah, but there was that one time the other week—” ► Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ “I don’t think I’m capable of wanting something any other way. When I want something—or someone—I ache for it. With all my being.” ► Wanted to disappear? ➔ “... In a way, yes. Never to disappear entirely, not at all. There’s too much to live for, but... I have thought it would be better for me to disappear as far as others were concerned, at times.”

FOUR PREFERENCES

► Smile or eyes? ➔ “Easy—eyes. You can see a smile in the eyes, after all.” ► Shorter or Taller? ➔ “Being as... gifted as I am, in height, I must say it's always novel to have a taller partner. It’s happened, a few times, and I rather liked it. But I do enjoy the feeling of being a nice big presence for my partner to cuddle or drape themselves over, too. There’s merits in both. I can’t possibly choose!” ► Intelligence or Attraction? ➔ “Attraction is the most important thing of all—and there’s so much more to a person’s mind and heart than their smarts. I say this as someone who perhaps isn’t what one would consider typically intelligent.” ► Hook-up or Relationship? ➔ “Oooh, difficult. I don’t think life would be complete without a variety of experiences. But I’ve had so many hook-ups, and with all the relationships I’ve ever had coming to an end along the line, I can’t say I’d be opposed to exploring one more deeply. Especially now that life is more relaxed in general.”

FAMILY

► Do you and your family get along? ➔ “The family was only ever ma and me, and she was around so little... but yes, we did get along. I have a feeling I’m more like her than I’ll ever truly know...” ► Would you say you have a “messed up life”? ➔ “As a shinobi, I really must say, don’t we all?” ► Have you ever ran away from home? ➔ “I prefer to say I srategically retreated.” ► Have you ever gotten kicked out? ➔ “No, but perhaps my absences were... encouraged, at times. But that’s something I’ll never know for sure.”

FRIENDS

► Do you secretly hate one of your friends? ➔ “If I hated anyone, I certainly wouldn’t keep it a secret!” ► Do you consider all of your friends good friends? ➔ “Y’know what? Yeah. I like to think I’m a pretty good judge of character, and all those I consider my friends are solid people.” ► Who is your best friend? ➔ “My fellow Legendary Sannin, of course! No matter the difficulties we’ve faced, those two’ve been there since the beginning, and we’re all stubbornly alive and kicking today; my feelings for them have never changed, and I doubt they ever will.” ► Who knows everything about you? ➔ “Hmm... I don’t think anybody in the world knows everything there is to know about me. Even with those closest to me, there are things even they don’t know. But I like to think I’d be an open book, should they ever wish to.”

[pandemicstress]

Time to be Fearless

Diane has been working in the learning and development industry for decades. She is in her fifties, a mother of two adult daughters and a grandmother to an adorable toddler. Diane owns her own business and has trained many people in various topics including leadership and personal effectiveness. For some time prior to the COVID-19 outbreak, she was working as a consultant at sea on large ocean liners, training staff and being part of their personal growth.

She found the opportunity to be incredibly rewarding, particularly working with young people. The millennials she works with are hungry for coaching and knowledge, highly receptive to all that she has to offer. Diane was able to offer them great support as they navigated their jobs and their lives. She loves how the younger generation are so committed.

On board, the ships have diverse populations. There are typically between 60 and 80 different nationalities on board at any point in time. As someone from South Africa, where we have experienced prejudice and racism as part of our history, Diane finds it comforting to be in an environment where diversity is celebrated and where there is zero tolerance for discrimination.

The COVID-19 outbreak on the ship was alarming for everyone on board and it seemed that the leadership had no contingency plan. At first, they even tried to keep the outbreak quiet. Diane is a natural leader and she offered her assistance to make arrangements for improved accommodation and policies on board. The leadership took no notice and did not take her up on the offer. Things were executed in a random way which was confusing for everyone on board.

The pandemic spreading rapidly in the months of February and March and the ship was denied access to a range of ports such as Chili, Peru and Equator. Diane asked the leadership about the plan to deal with the pandemic. Two days later all the guests had masks but the leadership had made no plans for the crew. There was a scramble to secure masks for the crew. They were all put into isolation in their cabins but since they have split cabins, it was difficult to contain the outbreak amongst the crew. The guests also required food and service in a confined environment which was challenging to accommodate.

Finally, the ship was able to dock at San Diego on 30 March 2020. They still had guests on board whereas many other liners didn’t by this stage. They arrived in California with no plan, only to let the guests to disembark and to make their own arrangements to get home.

Diane contracted COVID-19 on board during April 2020. She kept wondering if the symptoms were simply in her head as there was no test that could verify her status. Initially, they had no testing facilities on board. Within 24 hours, she knew that it was serious and she had contracted the virus.  

The temperature metric was inadequate because Diane, despite her clear symptoms did not present with a high fever. She typically doesn’t get temperatures. It became clear to Diane that symptoms vary for each person and COVID-19 appears to target each individual’s physiological weaknesses. As per her normal response to seasonal flu, she developed swollen glands. Her body ached all over. Her lungs were compromised and it was very painful to cough. She is also prone to headaches and she got severe migraines as part of her infection. Diane presented with blood in her urine, displaying an impact on her kidneys.

In hindsight, the medical team did the best they could. The medical team defined the severity of symptoms in three zones: green for negative, yellow for mild symptoms, orange for contagious and red for critical. Once the testing was available, Diane had two more blood tests and was put into the orange zone. She was put into medical isolation. Then she tested positive and was flagged as red which would have required hospitalization if she were on land. Diane was in a 28-day medical isolation. She felt awful having done no exercise and she was on antibiotics for the lungs. She was given a very strong cough mixture which required her to wean off it due to the habit-forming nature of it.

The stress of being away from home and the mental aspect of it was hard. There was so much uncertainty and the leadership did not show clear and decisive action or compassion. As a coach and trainer, she had all the skills to cope but she still struggled. She was caught unaware. Diane felt abandoned and fearful with so little known about this virus and her symptoms being serious. She was able to process it quickly, however.

Many staff members are the sole provider for their extended families. Her heart broke for them in that they were unable to work. Without working, many of the crew were depriving their families of critical income. Diane thinks that the stress of worrying about others made her more ill as she holds deep empathy for others. In the prison system, going into isolation is a clear and severe punishment. For her, being away from home, so ill and separate from loved ones was very difficult to deal with.

Although her symptoms were serious and lasted several months, she strongly feels that the mental and emotional aspect were the most challenging aspects of becoming infected. She kept wondering how we could be open to help others with their mental and emotional instability during this time. At least she was fit and healthy when she got sick so this was in her favour. She kept wondering why this happened to her. She went through the thoughts of whether she was careless and ought to blame herself for getting sick. All she wanted was to get home to her loved ones and to recover.

She notified her family that she had contracted the virus but she chose not to be public about it initially. It held a stigma at first, with people being hostile and afraid to engage with those who had COVID-19. It felt like she was treated as like a leper, the rejection being worse than the virus itself. Some of the crew members phoned her and were crying and compassionate, wanting to support a person who was always there for them. She regularly took calls at midnight to support crew members who needed help or advice.

By the time she arrived in South Africa and came out of quarantine, she tested negative and she was feeling much better. She recovered from the initial symptoms in April and only arrived home on 1 June 2020. She was overjoyed to see her girls again and to be in the company of her granddaughter. The little one kept pulling off the family masks. Diane said that even children realise it’s unnatural for us to cover our faces and that something is not right.

She missed her granddaughter and her own daughters very much. She has two close friends who told her she had abandoned her family to go off on the ship. Without that income, Diane could not support her elderly parents who have outlived their retirement savings. In South Africa, we have government policies that make it harder to gain training opportunities with large corporates unless you are black. She has had difficulty gaining clients in a tough economy and the only way she could help her family was by working on the ships and earing US Dollars. She was hurt by those close to her who did not support her decisions and goals.

Diane has noticed that people have a preconceived idea of what ship life is like. It is very tough, with three months on and one month off, without pay. When working, the crew work seven days per week and about 12 hours a day. One has to clock in and clock out and that can be challenging at times, feeling that you have to be vigilant in monitoring hours worked. Sometimes there are meetings that finish at 10:30pm at night. That’s ‘normal’ life on the ship which many people would not be willing to do. It is also difficult to be away from family and the comforts of home, being surrounded by colleagues night and day.

Diane’s vision for the reminder of her life was to live location free. She wisely did not want to own land in South Africa because she was concerned about the corruption and the devaluing of assets if the country continued economic decline. With the onset of the pandemic, strict lockdown and the impact on the economy, this was validated even further. Diane needs to take care of her parents who will remain in South Africa for the remainder of their lives. She is single and the ship life offers her the chance to support her family and to have experiences that she was not able to have when she was younger, putting her girls through school.

The loneliness, rejection and feeling abandoned had a deep impact on her. Diane is a warm person who cares deeply about others. She’s a hugger and it has been hard to adjust to no contact. She feels like the natural way she expresses herself was taken away from her. COVID-19 impacted Diane in a number of ways. Often when we experience something traumatic, our beliefs shift and we have revelations that impact the way we operate going forward.

Diane realised that there are some people in her life who are co-dependent, who have an unnatural dependency on her. Her empathy often results in others taking advantage of her and she assumes the role of rescuer. She recognised that she needs stronger boundaries with some people in her life and in taking care of herself first, she is better placed to serve others. She acknowledged that she tends to become so depleted that she cannot do anyone any good.

She also realised that in some ways, she put a wall around her heart to prevent herself from getting hurt again in romantic relationships. She embarked on personal development courses to find ways to open up her heart and to feel safe going forward. Diane said that she has to process the pockets of pain she had previously suppressed. She likened them to boils that need to be lanced. She said, “I am now brave enough to do a deep dive.”

She read a book about identifying one word for the year. She reads the book each December as part of her annual close-off ritual. In December 2019, she got the word ‘Fearless’ which rings true with stepping forward and tackling difficult feelings and memories that she has previously avoided. It takes courage to grow, to identify areas of yourself you are not happy with and to take action towards a better version of yourself.