#i am accompanying my mom because she can't get around well by herself

[naomiknight-17]

Leaving on a business trip in less than 2 hours. Will be gone until Thursday afternoon at least

I'm not freaking out you're freaking out

[impablohurtado]

After 2 years in Milwaukee

Preface: I’ve sat down and revisited this post multiple times this year, never 100% sure it was where I wanted it to be. I’ve been in Milwaukee for a few months short of two years now and I can truthfully say I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. Some days are worse than others, but for the most part I have not had to look for a reason to keep going, simply living to see the next day was enough. Still, every time I sat down to write I found myself gravitating to topics I didn’t feel were filling my day to day, but instead were what I have known and written about in the past. Instead of sitting and waiting I am sharing what I have been able to put down so far.

Over the last 3 years, the majority of what I’ve written has centered around grief and the emotions that accompany it; guilt, sadness, confusion, and anger. As time passes, I find myself less filled with these feelings and instead invigorated in life. I feel alive for the first time since I stepped away from community work. I can't help but also feel guilty. During this time, I couldn’t continue to work through all that had passed in my life without feeling like I was doing a disservice to my mom. I know it’s silly of me to feel this way because she was always encouraging me to get out there and enjoy life, even when she couldn't do so herself. It's taken time for me to live without that guilt.

I don't believe grief ever goes away, but I’ve finally stepped outside the revolving door that holds the worst parts of it, even if I sometimes find myself stepping back in when I least expect it. A win is a win.

At thirty-one I’ve learned to cope with grief in ways my mom never could… but then, she successfully pushed through for nearly 50 years. Until all the pushing gave way and the force that crashed back down on her was one that she couldn’t get through. I keep my fingers crossed that I overcome that hurdle when I get there if it ever appears in my path.

One of the most difficult parts of grief is learning to live again. You are forced to re-learn how to exist in a world without the person you’ve lost. With a parent, before they are gone, you are the person they raised, you're their child growing up. After they are gone, you are an entirely new person left to navigate the world with the lessons they taught you, translating those leasons to real-world decisions in your everyday life. It's a very difficult thing to square with yourself. From waking up in the morning to enjoying a cup of coffee, a part of you feels that when you're doing these things, you're also doing them for the person who is no longer there. You have to enjoy it more, you have to take it in, you can't waste a single moment.

The instinct is to recover. You are broken, and you must put back the pieces to be you again. But in reality, you are building someone entirely new, someone you don’t know as well. Nothing can stay whole forever, that's especially true about people. Even after rebuilding yourself, you're never entirely solid again because that little piece of them, the one that made up a part of you, is now just a space they left behind.

I often feel that I experienced this two-fold in having been on my own for the last three years, not having a relationship to lean into on the harder days. I had to learn to live with myself and work through everything I was feeling without a crutch.

I lost my uncle several years before my mother and that remains the last time I was inside a church. He was the first significant loss in my life and the circumstances surrounding his death gave me someone to blame. It also opened my eyes to who I could not turn to, religion. When he passed that door was closed for me. My own history with the church is complicated, I went from being constantly in church groups to splitting entirely from what had been part of my life for many years. As I've gotten older, I have become less critical than I was in the years that followed, acknowledging it is a necessary institution for many, even if it will never be for me.

Apart from my uncle, I’d known friends before who’d passed away, from suicide, overdose, these distant reasons that never made confront our mortality. My uncle’s passing shifted my entire outlook on the world and my priorities in life. Life seemed too short to move without purpose. I became involved in activism and everything that came after. For many years I'd repeat the sentiment that I'm better at helping others than myself, I took pride in that. When my mother passed, in many ways I divorced myself from all I’d worked for up to that point and I was left with just myself. It took me a long time to put back the pieces of life and realize I could go on. To live, not only for my mother, but to live for me.

A few weeks ago, my grandmother passed away, and it made me sad for the time I missed with her. It'd been several years since I visited Mexico and saw her last. The morning I learned the news, I was sadder for my dad than anything else. When I spoke to him, we couldn't help but note that he's in his 50s, and she was 81, while I was still in my twenties with my mom. It's no consolation. No amount of time is ever enough. As I've gotten older, death has had a greater presence in my life. Part of living for yourself is missing out on moments with family. That's something I worried about before my move. Every time I visit back home, the kids are so much bigger. There's a give and take with being here, but I don't regret it.

The most difficult part of moving to a new city has been finding that I have continued living. Life has gone on in a way I didn’t expect it to. I moved away from the place I’d spent most of my life in and formed friendships which I had not been able to in many years, even in knowing they exist because of my proximity to my brother, I appreciate them. I have found a new way to exist completely divorced from the constant worry I lived with for so many years. It feels nice to have people I call friends, to have people to hang out with just for the reason we enjoy each other’s company, even if it took me a long time to be less awkward and feel like a part of the group. It’s helped me work on myself. The melancholy isn’t completely gone, but it’s manageable. Exploring the city with Fidel definitely helps.

It’s important to be truthful in telling people the guilt is still there. The guilt of feeling like I wasn't a good son, guilt of leaving my sisters, guilt that, as the eldest son I have a responsibility to keep the bonds of family strapped tight together. Maybe it’s a Mexican thing, feeling like there’s a responsibility ascribed to being my father’s first son. I spent so many years trying to undo damage that broke our family into pieces and make us a tight knight unit that could push through the worst of it. When I moved, I worried I was letting those bonds loosen, that not staying rooted where I was, was me turning my back on my family. Thankfully, I was wrong, and we are all as close as ever. It's funny, the distance if anything has brought us closer together.

I recently told a friend I cannot write as well because I just do not feel as sad as I used to. It seems silly, but it’s true. So much happened in my life I do not discuss with people. History that my siblings and I don't share that drastically changed the way our lives went. For a long time, I didn't know how I could get close to people without acknowledging these parts that shaped who I am. What I've learned is everything doesn't need be said as long as I've come to terms and found a way to work through my past.

I’m starting to learn that I can write without the feeling of the world crashing down on me. You cannot lose depression, it is always there, good days and bad. For years I could not separate myself from it. I made it more than an ailment, it became a new limb, it became a second set of skin that I clung to because I could attribute everything wrong in life to this ten-letter word. Going out meant to walk hand in hand with this part of me, but I've learned to leave it at the door when I step outside my home.

It took me almost 31 years on this earth to discover that I am more than my depression, I am more than all my bad days or even my good days and I am more than the pain I’ve lived through. Through all my experiences in life, I am a person who sometimes feels one way and sometimes feels another way, it takes effort every day, but I live through it and push on.

[katsukisbimbo]

bun bun

✯ pairing: usagiyama rumi x reader

✯ synopsis: everything changed for you when your favourite hero, usagiyama gets thrown inside your shop.

✯wordcount: 12.4k+

✯warning: fem! reader, she/her pronouns, wlw, swearing :))

✯ note: this is dedicated for lovely andrea <3 aka ms @kagsbuns !! I think I got carried away tho. this was only supposed to be 10k max, but at 9k I still didn’t get to the conflict so here we are LOL. I hope u guys enjoy!! this is my first time writing something so long!

You sighed as you used you picked up the heavy basket of apples. Your day usually consisted of tending to your growing vegetables in the early morning, before picking and washing the ripened vegetables and fruit. Using some fresh peppers from your garden to spice up your usual omelette for breakfast, then getting ready for work. 

You currently owned a cute little produce market in the middle of the city, which was only a twenty-minute walk from your home. Your small shop was mostly frequented by old folks and young moms buying fruits and veggies for their children.

 You loved your work and your life, tending to vegetables and fruits and selling them. Your work helped you produce a schedule, a schedule that kept you sane. 

You smiled as Ms. Takeshi walked in, smiling at you before browsing through her favourite strawberries that you had just picked and washed this morning. “Good morning lovely! Your fruits and vegetables look wonderful today! Did you also make some of my favourite banana bread?” She queried as she made her way to the display case where you kept your freshly made pastries. 

“Of course Ms. Takeshi! I already wrapped it up for you!” you handed the bag over to her. “You’re going to be a great wife one day lovely” She smiles as she leaves the door, leaving you with a sour taste in your mouth. Your smile dropped as you activated your quirk. You had a plant quirk, pretty convenient for your work. You were able to manipulate plants and grow them to your will.

Large vines soon began to rise from your potted plants as you started to organize some of your products, not liking how they looked. You rolled your eyes as you recalled what Ms. Takeshi had said to you. Every morning was the same thing with her. Some days she would even try to set you up with her grandson. Yes, you were only 19, turning 20, but you already had everything you wanted. Plus, you didn’t play for the other team. 

You were more of a “We fell in love in October” kinda gal. 

Your thoughts were swiftly interrupted at the sound of a body getting thrown inside your shop, soon landing right in front of you. It took you two seconds to register that a body just flew into your shop and ruined your blueberries, and another two seconds to figure out that this body belonged to the Rabbit Hero: Mirko herself. You gasped softly as you pried her body out of the rubble with your vines. 

You propped her up onto your counter before wrapping your vines around her once more, with the purpose to heal her bruised body. You concentrated your power as you continued to heal her, your vines sprouting flowers and glowing with a light yellow hue. 

You had to restrain yourself from cooing when you saw her nose twitch. It wasn’t known that you were fond of heroes. Everyone had assumed that you had no interest in it, when in fact, you’ve been a huge fan of Mirko’s for some time. You did have other heroes you liked, but Mirko had your attention and heart. 

You struggled to breathe as you felt your energy being sapped out of your body. You didn’t know how much longer you would be able to take, especially when you had only used your quirk for meagre housework, up until now that is. You suddenly jolted in surprise when Mirko’s arm shot up and grabbed you by the collar of your shirt, bringing your face barely ten centimetres away from hers. 

As her mouth opened to speak, another crash occurred nearby, making both of your heads snap up in the direction of the noise. You gaped as you saw the wrongdoer slowly walk towards your shop. “Mirko-san, please get up” you shakily whispered to her. 

She laughed at your cute shivering figure before jumping up on top of the counter. “Come at me bitch!” she provoked before they hastily jumped her. You quickly threw yourself out of the way and hid behind your apples. “Hey! Baby carrot!” she hollered as she pinned down the villain. “Get out of here!” Rumi growled. You immediately shook your head, small tears sliding doing your cheeks. 

“I-I can’t! I’m not gonna let either of you mess up my shop!” you weakly yelled as you somehow mustered up enough strength to summon your largest vines, speedily sending them towards the villain and entrapping them, leaving Mirko to gape at your work. She whistled as she observed the vines twining around the body of the unfortunate villain. ‘T-That’s kinda hot, not gonna lie’ she thought in her head before successfully knocking the villain out with one kick. 

“Hey, you okay there?” she questioned as she looked at your trembling figure. You felt unable to respond to her query, your throat suddenly closed up. You let out a squeak in response before feeling your knees buckle, your body quickly tumbling to the ground. Before you could even graze the wooden floor, Miruko already had her arms wrapped around you, carrying your unconscious body princess style, your face nuzzled onto the top of her breast. 

“My poor bunny” she cooed before wiping the sweat off your brow, taking you to the closest ambulance to get the both of you checked out. 

___

You groaned as the exhaustion started to seep into your body. Your head was killing you. You peeled your eyes open, expecting to see your room, only to see a blindingly white hospital room. A few machines monitoring your blood pressure and heart rate had been situated by your side, along with your IV drip which was currently connected to your left arm. 

“I see you’re up” voice booms, making their presence known. 

You turned to see Mirko, sitting on the couch, clad in civilian clothing. You blushed as her outfit consisted of a black leather jacket, accompanied by tight black jeans, a white v-neck shirt, and chunky leather shoes. To sum it all up, she looked delectable. You felt your cheeks warm at the sight of your hero crush. What was she doing here in the first place? Wasn't she supposed to be on patrol or something? What was she doing, wasting her time on a girl like yourself?

You cleared your throat before piping up. “W-why’re you here?” you questioned before quickly averting your gaze. 

“You saved my life, my little carrot” She started, standing up and making her way towards your bed. You felt yourself slightly flinch back, intimidated by both her figure and her aura. Mirko had an intense vibe that made you want to crawl into a hole and die. The way she carried herself was both overwhelming and admirable. She was just so captivating, it was like-

“Hey. Hey!” she snapped her fingers in your face. “What’s wrong carrot? Are you nervous? Last time I saw you, you were brimming with complete and utter confidence. Well, kinda, but you were still badass. Are you a badass or was that just a facade to impress lil ol’ me? Hm?” she teases, her face nearing yours. 

“I-I no! I mean y-yes! Um!” you felt yourself about to tear up from embarrassment. You were humiliating yourself in front of your favourite hero. You sputtered once more before deciding to just shut your mouth, staring at your lap where your hands were neatly folded. 

“What’s wrong carrot? Do I make you nervous?” she taunted. 

God, now you wanted to cry. 

 You felt your tears starting to arise, your throat closing up. Your lips were quivering. You tense your jaw to prevent any whimpers from slipping out, you didn’t want to embarrass yourself any further. Mirko's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. She made her poor carrot cry! 

She immediately took your hands off of your lap, bringing one of your hands to rest against her soft cheek. She then gave your palm a soft kiss. “Don’t cry! I didn’t mean to tease ya that much!”. You just nodded as you felt yourself become light-headed at her actions. The Pro-Hero Mirko just kissed your palm. She just kissed your palm. You didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. 

You were unaware of how to act in front of her as you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself any further than today. You would always remember the time you embarrassed yourself in front of your hero crush. 

“What happened by the way? Why am I here?” you piped up, taking the time to admire her bright and shining face. 

“Well, I accidentally got thrown into your shop and got knocked out. You used your little vines to help me out! I passed out a little, but the villain came, and I tried to fight him, but before I could do some real damage, you stepped in and told us that you weren’t about to let us ruin your shop and apprehended the villain by yourself! I didn’t know you had it in ya! I was so surprised but I managed to knock out the fella! You also ended up passing out dear! I had to catch ya and carry you to the ambulance myself!” She grinned, playing with your fingertips. 

“I’m so sorry“ you cried, gripping tightly onto her fingers. “I didn’t mean to make your job harder for you! I‘m only nineteen and I don’t have enough money to repair any of the damages! Are there even damages? For sure there are!” you were about to cry again. Everything was just so overwhelming that your first reaction was to cry. 

You’ve only met Mirko and you’ve managed to embarrass yourself three times. 

“Don’t worry about it, carrot. I already took care of the damages, because I was the one who got thrown into your shop. Don’t worry about being a crybaby either. It’s cute” she gave you her signature toothy grin. 

“I-Thank you! Thank you so much Mirko-san!” You cried, bowing as low as you could in your state. 

“Don’t worry about it” she brushed off. 

“Please! I have to repay you somehow! I can give you a free produce? I can make your bread? I can't offer much” your brows furrowing. You wanted to repay her. 

“Yeah? I’ll think of something, cutie. Anyways, I gotta run, I’ll see you around yeah?” She quipped before making her way out of her room, giving you one last smile before exiting. 

You had it bad for her. For sure. 

___

It’s been a week since you were discharged from the hospital, you didn’t have any fatal wounds but was only admitted for overusing your quirk, you didn’t use your quirk for anything as exhausting as apprehending a criminal. 

You sighed as you continued to tend to your vegetables, already missing a certain someone’s presence. Meeting with her, even for such a short time was an experience. 

You clicked your tongue as you checked the time, you only had half an hour to make your way to work and set up your produce. 

You wondered if you would be able to see her again. 

You continued to bustle around, seeing Ms. Takeshi rushing inside. “Oh my goodness! Are you all right lovely? I heard about the attack! Thank goodness you’re okay!” she continued to check your body for any bruises or wounds, sighing in relief when she found none. 

“I’m fine Ms. Takeshi! I wasn’t attacked, a Pro got thrown into my shop.. and she saved me” your mind drifted to the memory of Mirko lunging at the criminal, putting her body in front of yours to shield you from any attacks. 

“She saved me” quipped up a voice. 

Both you and Ms. Takeshi had whipped your head around, seeing Mirko, clad in her hero costume with her hand on her hip. She smirked at your bewildered reaction before moving further into the store. 

“M-Mirko-san! What’re you doing here?”

“I don’t know, to be honest, I was in the area and I just missed your face” she walked around, admiring the large carrots you had grown in your garden. 

“Y-you missed me? I-I missed you too, M-Mirko-san..” you blushed, averting her piercing gaze. “You’re such a precious carrot, call me Rumi” she offered, stretching her hand out to yours in a handshake, you hesitantly took it, noting how her hand dwarfs yours. 

“I couldn’t possibly!” releasing her hand. “Why not? We’re friends aren't we?” your eyes widened at her implication that you two had something more than just a fan and idol relationship.  

“I-I YES! Of course, we are!” you rushed, not wanting to upset her. If she was willing to call you her friend then who were you to disagree? Not everyone has the chance to be friends with their favourite idol. 

Ms. Takeshi smirked as she watched the exchange between the two, noting how each of them had quite a fond look in their eyes. She shook her head as she signalled you that she was about to leave, you gave her a hasty goodbye before going back to Mirko-- or Rumi, as she preferred. 

‘Those two are getting together’ Ms. Takeshi absently thought, smiling at the thought of you finally having the companion you deserved.

“This is a cute place ya got here, it's almost as cute as you” she flirted, smirking at your abashed expression. Normally you would have cringed at such a cheesy line, but to be honest, it hit a little different when it was Rumi who was saying it. “I’m not cute!” you huffed. You were a strong independent woman! You were not cute. 

As you continued to stew in your thoughts, Rumi proceeded with exploring your cute little shop, sampling some fruits as she passed by. “D’ya have any family here?” she queried, popping a plump, red strawberry in her mouth, almost gasping at the sweetness and freshness of the berry. “I don’t actually! I moved here just a year ago to start the shop I've been dreaming about ever since I was a kid!” you smiled, recalling the obstacles you had gone through to reach your goal. 

“That's good! It’s good to have goals you want to work towards, it keeps people motivated” 

“How about you Rumi-san? Do you have any family here?” you piped up, curious of her families’ whereabouts. Did she live here alone? There was only so much information that could be disclosed to the public about heroes and their personal lives. 

“They don’t live here. They’re back in my hometown. It’s nice living out here, I get to do what I want, save all the people I can, and kick as much as... Though, there are times where I miss my family... They’re a rambunctious and chaotic bunch I tell ya!” she chortled. 

You felt yourself melt at the very thought of Rumi with her family, playing and spending time with her small cousins/siblings. If someone were to describe the look on your face, they would have immediately said that you looked either lovesick or had heart eyes. You blushed at the thought of spending time with Rumi and just being gay <3 with each other. You honestly needed to get a love life, it isn’t normal to fantasize about your idol, especially when they’re right in front of you. 

Rumi noticed that you were mentally elsewhere, smiling at your dumbstruck expression. What were you thinking about that was more interesting than her? Was it perhaps Rumi herself? She shook her head, trying to disperse her somewhat indecent thoughts. It wasn’t proper to ogle or fantasize about your friend. 

“Hey, can I get your number?” she piped up, causing you to snap out of the internal conflict you were previously having about yourself. “W-what?” you stuttered, unbelieving of the fact that she, Usagiyama Rumi, had just asked for your number. Plain, old, little you! This was an absolute dream. 

You quickly nodded, having no words as you haven’t fully processed her question or the meaning of it. You struggled to extract your phone from the pocket of your overalls. Curse women's clothing and their tiny pockets! Rumi laughed at your struggles, loving at how you scrunch your cute little nose when you feel feelings of frustration. 

 “Aha! I got it!” you cheered, fist-pumping with your phone in your hand, before sheepishly handing your phone to her. Rumi raised a brow. “Is this me as your lock screen?” she smirked. 

At this point, you were begging the Gods, any God, to take your soul. You did not understand how you could have forgotten such a crucial thing! You were an idiot! A dumbass! 

“And, did you edit yourself in the picture so it looked like we took a picture together?” 

 You felt your brain short circuit. You froze up, unblinking and unbreathing. Rumi didn’t mean to tease you so much. You were just adorable! The fact that you had been too shy to ask her for a picture and kept the edited one as your lock screen amused her to no end. She just wanted to eat you up!

As she continued to gush about your cute habits and you in general, you were tearing yourself up inside. You thought you had changed your lock screen a few days ago! It was a picture of Rumi as well, but you weren’t included. She must think you’re desperate! Or a stalker. Or worse! A desperate stalker! 

“Lord, please take me” you whispered, hoping that someone would grant your wish this time. “What was that baby carrot? You want me to take you? I don’t mind, but I wanna get to know you better first”

Your jaw dropped at Rumi’s insinuation. “I’m kidding! You're adorable. C’mere” she beckoned, not wanting to keep her waiting you immediately made your way towards her side, her muscular arm scooping you up and pressing you against her warm body. 

“R-Rumi-san..! What are you doing?”

“Taking a picture ya dummy! Make this your lock screen okay? I want everyone to know” she winked. She pressed her face against yours before capturing a picture. You felt as if your face was on fire. She was smashed against you! “Hey, you okay with fanservice?” she asked, you nodded your head, curious of what she had under her sleeve. 

Rumi soon grabbed a hold of your chin before pressing her soft lips against the chub of your cheeks. She quickly snapped the picture, capturing your embarrassed face. She let go of you, opting to check the pictures to see if they had come outright. “You want one more baby carrot?” she mused, peering at your warmed face. 

You slowly nodded your head, she threw her head back and laughed, coming over once more and wrapping you in her arms. This time, she walked, well, more like waddled, as you were in her arms, to put your phone on the counter, setting the timer for three seconds. She hugged you tightly, resting her head on top of yours. 

Since she was already taking pictures, might as well request some poses right?

“Can we do peace signs? I… I like peace signs” you mumbled, twiddling with your thumbs. “Oh gosh, you're adorable!” she gushed. “Peace!” the both of you posed as the flash went off. 

You ran back to your phone, eager to see how the pictures had turned out while Rumi had stayed behind, watching your excited figure. Your eyes lit up as you examined the photos you both had taken. They were adorable! “Rumi-san looks very pretty” you mumbled, unaware that she was now peering over your shoulder and heard what you had said. 

“You gotta stop tempting me, baby carrot. As I said, I wanna get to know you better” she smiled. You blushed. This was the second time she had mentioned that. Does she like you as well? You felt a little bold so you decided to take your opportunity to fluster her as well. 

“If you wanna get to know me better, why not go to lunch with me?” you offered, slyly smiling at how her jaw was left ajar. “Y-You cheeky little brat! If you're free right now we can go but it’ll be my treat okay?” she insisted, raising her brow as if to say ‘are you going to say no to free food’. 

You nodded and agreed, who were you to say no to free food? Especially free food with your favourite hero/crush. She extended her hand towards you and you gladly took it, lacing your fingers with hers, loving how both of your hands fit perfectly within each other. 

“Let’s go baby carrot. I’ll make sure to feed you lots” 

___

“Nooo-- Rumi no more!”

“It’s okay carrot, I know you want more” she smirked

“I can’t! I-It’s too much” you moaned, rubbing your bloated stomach with both of your hands. Both of you had eaten too much chicken! Rumi decided to challenge you to an eating challenge, ordering a whole 10 piece box for each of you. That, plus the drinks and fries she had ordered on the side. 

“Awh you’re so cute, for sure you’ll be sleepy” she cooed, propping her chin upon her fist. “I’m thankful for you Rumi-san, but if I eat more, I’ll surely explode” you cried, wanting to just go home and nap. You closed your eyes and leaned back. You couldn’t even breathe properly anymore! She was going to stuff you full! [;)]

“Hye, carrot. I gotta ask since I want both of us to be on the same page. Was this a date? I mean, would you consider this a date?” she sheepishly asked, bringing warmth to your cheeks. You didn't perceive this as a date, since you two never really outright stated it was a date, but it did seem date-ish. 

Rumi watched as you struggled to come up with an answer. “Ah! I didn’t mean to pressure you carrot! I’m sorry! I-I just really like you, and if you didn’t consider this as a date, I would like to take you out--that's only if you agree! As I said, no pressure cutie”

What was she talking about? This was so much pressure! On the bright side, your crush likes you back. This was a miracle! She was famous on top of that1 not that you liked her for her popularity, but she could have anyone, and she chose you! You had to thank which God was looking out for you, or if it was just your luck. Either way, you’ve been manifesting this for some time. Not exactly this situation, but you had actively been looking for a partner, a female partner at that. You didn’t want anything serious, shoutout to Ms. Takeshi though, she was trying at least. 

“I like you Rumi-san and I considered this as a date! And.. and I want to go on more dates with you!” you nearly yelled, causing some heads to turn. This had caused Rumi to gasp, scrambling out of her chair to sit beside you and engulf you in her arms, nuzzling her soft cheek against yours. 

“You’re so cute! I swear! Let me take you home! I just wanna eat you!” she gushed, uncaring of the peering eyes in the restaurant who had been watching the whole exchange. “R-Rumi-san! How lewd!” you grimaced. sure was a handful. 

“I’m sorry, cutie! I just can’t help it! You make me wanna go feral” she growled the last bit, feeling a coil in your lower tummy tighten. What was she doing to you? Did someone hit you with a quirk? This was crazy! 

“Hey, don’t think too much about it. You and I are going to get to know each other better okay? Okay, carrot?” She grinned, peeking down at your flustered expression. This was going to be something else. 

___

Lately, you and Rumi have gotten closer. You both had started to frequently text and call each other, though you have been a little timid during phone calls. They were mostly carried by Rumi and her extroverted personality. You hope she knew that you were just shy and that you weren’t losing interest in her. 

Your relationship with Rumi had no label, at least for now. You both decided that it would be wise to learn about each other before making rash decisions. Especially you. You had a habit of running off in tandem and making yourself worry about scenarios that have zero percent of happening. Good thing Rumi was there to calm your nerves.

You were so immersed in your thoughts that you had failed to notice the stop sign in front of you, promptly running into it and talking on your butt. Luckily, nobody except a small child had seen you embarrass yourself. That’s what you thought at least, until—

“Baby carrot! Are you alright?! My poor little carrot didn’t see the stop sign! Are you okay? Do you need to be taken to the hospital? I can take you!” She rambled as she checked your body for any extensive injuries, sliding her hands down the curve of your ass in the process. You didn’t wanna go to the hospital as you would be an unnecessary burden to all the medical staff. It was still better to be safe than sorry. 

She was a different breed. 

“I can’t help it, I just.. I care about you” she murmured, facing off to the side to hide her warming cheeks from your view. She was adorable! Is this what she felt when she saw you blush? It was a nice feeling. Like eating really good food. Rumi blushing was good food. 

“Well, um, if you don't wanna go to the hospital, do you just want to come over for dinner or something?” she offered. “Aren’t you patrolling right now Rumi-san? I would hate to impose and possibly get you in trouble with your work” you sheepishly looked away from her gaze, unable to compete with the intensity her eyes hold, as if she wasn't a quivering little mess two seconds ago as well. 

“Nah. I can get someone to cover for me. Let me call them right now so that I can put your mind at ease yeah?” she detached herself from you and went to grab her phone strapped on the side of her somewhat revealing hero costume. You never really noticed it but Rumi’s costume was, how do you say this, very sexy. At least to you. 

You shook your head as dirty thoughts soon started to fill your head. This was wrong! Rumi-san is a strong beautiful woman who shouldn’t be objectified! She does not deserve that! Though she looked very beautiful in it, that was for sure. 

As you continued to have another internal battle with yourself, Rumi had already dialled Hawks’ number. 

“Yo Hawks! It's Mirko! I need a favour!”

“What is it?”

“Please cover for me. I’m on patrol and I just asked my crush out for dinner at my place but she’s iffy because she doesn’t want me to get in trouble for ditching my patrol--”

“You are ditching your patrol though” he replied. Rumi can already see Hawks using this against her. 

“PLEASE! She’s so beautiful and I like her so much” Rumi practically begged.

“Fine, but I’m doing this because you’ve never seemed so serious for anyone before and I’m happy for you. You don’t have to owe me” he sighed, but Rumi knew that he didn’t mind at all. 

“Thank you so much! Bye! Muah!” she yelled, before facing you. “Hey little carrot, you can come over! I told you my friend was gonna cover me” she smiled, her shiny teeth showing. “I-I..let’s go!” you blushed, wanting to be able to hide your cheeks from her. 

“H-Hey, slow down! Plus I haven’t got any ingredients! We gotta go shopping first!” 

“S-shopping? Together? That’s quite domestic” 

“Better get used to it”

___

“Are you allergic to anything my little carrot?” she questioned, wanting to know which ingredients she should take. “Ah! I’m allergic to shellfish” you mentioned. “I get hives and sometimes my throat closes up”. You stressed that your allergy wasn’t a big deal, but Rumi thought otherwise. “Hm, no seafood then” she pondered on what to get next. “How about pasta?” 

“Oh-I still eat shellfish, but just not often” you spoke, hoping she would overlook this small thing. “That’s not good carrot! You can die like that!” she yelled, catching the attention of most of the customers within the vicinity. “R-Rum-san! Not so loud!” you mumbled, tugging onto the fabric of her hero costume. “I’m okay Rumi-san! I promise!” 

Her concern for you was adorable. Nobody had ever really cared for you like this. You knew your limits and everything, and everyone knew as well, but it was a nice change. The way Rumi cared for you gave your tummy butterflies. Her smile, the way she spoke. You might be in love. For sure, it’s too soon to tell. You’ve also never felt love other than familial love or love for your friends, but you were sure this was love. 

You haven't known Rumi for a long time, but love isn’t about the time you spend, it’s the experiences you both share. If you could describe the way you felt in a word, it would be love. The way Rumi plagued your mind 24/7, the way you felt your heartbeat a little harder than it usually does. This felt like love. Of course, you weren’t about to tell her, but you already had a love for her from the beginning. It had just grown into something more than idolization for her the more you got to know her. Loving Rumi gave you absolute euphoria. Even if her feelings for you were platonic. 

“Hey, baby carrot? Let’s go?” she asked, already pulling you towards the exit of the store, waving at some fans who had called out her name. 

You were still lost in thought. You never understood why she was attracted to you, it wasn’t love, but even her attraction was questionable. To you, it seemed like a whole joke. The fact that your idol even offered to cook for you was baffling, not even that, the fact that she even spoke to you was a miracle itself. You felt tears well up in your eyes. There was just no way that Rumi would actually like you. 

Too lost in your head, you bumped into Rumi who had suddenly stopped, though she wasn’t facing you. She tightened her grip on your hand “I can smell your tears, why are you crying Y/n?” she whispered before whipping around to face you. Her face was riddled with sadness, her ears flopping down at the sides of her face. “D-Did I do something?” she stuttered. She loosened her grip on your hand, letting go completely. 

You felt your heartthrob in your chest. That was the exact opposite! You were crying because you were happy with her, too happy almost. You never wanted it to end. You sobbed a little harder before running to her, burying your face into her chest. Her arms wrapped around you, rubbing your back and pressing soft kisses on the crown of your head.

“I’m sorry! I’m a crybaby! I was crying because spending time with you made me happy! Very happy! I don’t want it to stop! I wanna stay with you forever Rumi-san!” you cried, hugging her tighter as if she was about to evaporate into thin air and never come back. “Baby... I...Can I kiss you?” she whispered, bringing her warm hand to rest upon your tear-stained cheek.  

Your eyes widened. Did she want to kiss you? Well, who were you to deny her? You nodded your head and shut your eyes, feeling the press of her lips against yours. She pressed multiple kisses against your lip before swiping her tongue against your bottom lip, causing you to let out a soft whimper at the contact. 

She grinned and did it once more, this time letting go of the groceries in her hand before pressing you into the bricked walls of the alleyway. Rumi had her hand on your hip and the other against your cheek, your arms wrapped around her and tangled in her soft, silky hair. You moaned as she pried her way into your mouth, exploring it with her tongue before you let out a whine that caught her attention. 

She pulled away to see the work she had done, she had left you flustered and fucked out, just from a kiss. She leaned over to press another soft kiss onto your lips before slowly pulling away again. “I like you, so please believe me when I say so. I want to have more good memories with you. Don’t cry okay? You have me, and I’ll never let go” she whispered before rubbing her nose against yours.  

You giggled as she pulled away, almost surprising her. It was stupid of you to think so negatively. You knew that Rumi would never do anything to hurt you, well, not on purpose at least. You nodded before picking up the groceries on the floor. You smiled. “Let’s go home, Rumi-san”

Her eyes sparkled at the fact that you had called her apartment “home”. She quickly nodded before helping you with the bags, opting to hold all with her one hand so that she could use the other to hold yours. 

___

“We’re finally here!” yelled, making her way to the kitchen to drop off the groceries, you took off your shoes before entering and following her. Her apartment was pretty luxurious. It was one of those gated places that needed I.D and permission to enter, in other words, it was high end. It was to be expected honestly, she was a very famous hero who had some very..determined fans.

Her apartment was mostly white, it didn’t have that many decorations, mostly since Rumi was quite a simple person who had no desire for such things. She did have matching furniture though. You walked through the living room, taking a moment to gaze at her white and grey furniture. It all matched! She had a knack for interior design. If she wasn’t a pro, she would have made some money off being an interior designer.

You finally made your way into the kitchen. Seeing Rumi already putting the groceries away, setting out the ingredients. You gaped at the various ingredients laid out on the counter, why hadn’t you noticed the number of ingredients she had picked up?! There were quite a few.

“Rumi-san? Why’d you get so many ingredients?” you queried, tilting your head to the side in confusion. “Cuz! We’re gonna make a lot of food!” she cheered, raising her fist that was currently holding a pork bun, slightly squishing it and slightly deforming it. 

“R-Rumi-san the pork bun!”

“Oh, haha! Sorry about that baby carrot” she apologized before splitting it in half and pressing it against your lips. Did she want to share? A-And feed you as well? You couldn’t refuse so you shyly took a bite, taking a small piece of the pork bun in your mouth and chewing. You moaned at the wonderful flavours dancing on your tastebuds, this tasted so good! It was still quite warm as well. 

As the both of you continued to stand in eat in the kitchen, neither of you noticed a familiar flying birdman hovering above the balcony, peering at the both of you with a happy smile on his face before flying away. 

“She’s lucky she has me as her friend” Hawks laughed as he continued his patrol. Hopping off of the balcony and flying away like a little weird fairy man. 

___

You both had finished cooking, there was a surprising amount of dishes you two had made. Your meal consisted of a wide but healthy assortment of dishes. It was no surprise that Rumi cared about what she was putting inside her body. 

“Come on baby carrot, let's go eat yeah?” 

You nodded and brought as many plates as you could to the counter, pulling up a chair while Rumi took a chair to sit beside you, promptly digging into her food. “This is so yummy! Where did you learn how to cook like this? I’m not a bad cook myself--” that much was obvious, “-but you cook well carrot!” she gushed, quickly swallowing the food in her mouth. 

“Ah-you're giving me too much credit Rumi-san!” you cried. Your cooking was mediocre at best and she was likely just gassing you to make you feel better. You were unsure of why she was hyping you up, though, you weren’t going to question it. Your mind suddenly drifted back to the kiss you both shared, heat rising onto your cheeks. 

You slapped your cheeks, trying to get any indecent thoughts to exit your head. This caused Rumi to laugh and take another bite of her food, used to your unusual behaviour already. You blushed, though this time, you were less embarrassed than usual. If she had already liked you after knowing you were weird, then why hold back?

“Hey baby carrot, why do you call me Rumi-san? It just seems a little too formal.. and I wanted us to be a little closer than that? I mean, I have a nickname for you” 

This wasn’t the first time that you had thought of giving her a nickname. You were nervous as to what she would say about it. Would she think it was stupid? Would she hate it? Would she make fun of you for it? Of course not, but your thoughts were going a mile a minute and you didn’t have any time to filter them out. 

“I’ll think of one for you, but please give me some time to do so!” 

“Of course baby carrot” she replied before quickly getting back to eating as she motioned for you to do the same. 

The both of you had just finished eating, already washing the remaining dirty dishes, including the pots and pad you had both used to cook. It was quite a domestic and intimate sight. Both of you, side by side. Both washing the dishes. and the other drying. 

As of right now. You were in complete and utter bliss. You’ve had a taste of euphoria and that was Rumi. It was amazing how one person could affect another so much. 

“Hey, it’s getting late. Do you wanna sleep here?” She piled up. Drying a plate before placing it on the dish rack. Meanwhile. Your mind was once again in distress. Why was she so casual about these types of things? Of course, you wanted to sleep beside her, and cuddle close to her, and gee her soft skin brush against yours, and—you get the idea. 

You were a bit hesitant as you didn’t want to overstay your welcome or burden her even further. No matter what she said, you knew that a hero wouldn’t be able to drop their patrol just on the dot. She broke the rules and you knew it. You didn’t want her to be making reckless decisions just because of you! 

“I-I... Am I already overstaying my welcome,” you asked, trying to make sure she wanted this and that she didn’t feel obligated to let you stay for whatever reason? You just wanted a good reason for you to be here. 

“It’s late. I would walk you home to ensure your safety, but right now, there’s a lot of villains lurking and to be honest, I’m not sure if I can take them all while protecting you at the same time” 

She wasn’t lying. If it was just her. For sure she’d be able to go all out and defeat as many villains as she could. She was in the top fen for heaven’s sake! She was just afraid that you’d get caught in the crossfire and end up injured, kidnapped, or worse, dead. 

“Oh.. okay” you mumbled, finishing up washing the dishes. Right now. You were unsure of what to do, she was still unfinished with drying the dishes and had suggested you slept over. Sure you trusted her, but, were you ready to sleep beside her? Were you ready to let her head you snore? Were you ready to let her see your horrible bedhead in the morning? Quite frankly, you were unsure if you were ready at all. 

“But if you want to, I can take you home, it’s your choice. I’ll gladly defend you and protect you carrot” she had quite the facial expression. You could tell that she was determined. Her sheer determination was held in her eyes, her lips pulled up in a smirk and her eyebrows furrowed. 

“I don’t want to be more of an inconvenience, so I’ll just choose the less inconvenient option. I’ll sleep here tonight but I’m taking the couch” you announced. She was going to take it or leave it! You were not going to go into her private space and make her share her rooms and bed. 

“Fine. But. Please feel free to move inside if you’re uncomfortable. I know that couch seems like a good couch to sleep one, but it’s only good for sitting really. More like decoration if you were going, to be honest. 

“Fine, but I promise that I won’t!” you stubbornly added. Wanting to make sure that she understood that you weren’t going to sleep beside her. You were fine sleeping on the couch and she had to understand that! She smiled before giving you a change of clothes, some pillows and blankets, including a spare toothbrush. 

“I’ll be in my room okay? Goodnight carrot” she bid you goodnight before entering her room, not fully shutting it. You fixed up the couch before making your way into the bathroom, passing by Rumi’s bedroom and seeing her shadow move around as her door was left ajar. You changed your clothes and cleaned up, getting ready to take your place on the couch. 

You charged your phone and closed your eyes, waiting to drift off into sleep. 

___

You screamed as you were being chased by a villain, it was in the early hours of the morning, you could tell as the sun was coming up and it just had that morning vibe. You were used to getting up this early and were familiar with it. What you failed to comprehend was why a villain was chasing you? 

It seemed as if it was only about five a.m or six a.m at the latest, but surely by now, there would have been cars driving around. You peeked behind you and saw that the villain had caught up, as he was about to grab you, you suddenly fell off a cliff, your stomach-dropping, your voice stuck in your throat before letting out a shriek and waking up in a cold sweat. What type of dream was that?

“Baby carrot! Are you alright?” said a worried Rumi who already had a glass of water at your side. You tried to take the cup from her but she noticed how shaky your hands were and decided that it would be best to help you drink herself. You slowly gulped down the water, not wanting to choke. You were heaving for air after drinking, maybe you didn’t slow down as much as you had needed to. 

“I-I had a bad dream! I was being chased by a villain and I was all alone! Then when he was about to catch me, I fell off of a cliff!” you explained, recalling the haunting images of the unknown man who had almost caught you. Rumi wrapped her arms around you and had placed you onto her lap, patting your head and rubbing your hands to comfort you. 

“How about you sleep in my room and I sleep here? Are you comfortable with that?” she whispered, not wanting to startle you while in such a vulnerable state. 

“No.. please stay beside me bun. I wanna sleep beside you if that’s all right” you blushed, averting her gaze as you were embarrassed to have mentioned the nickname you had been thinking about for her. It was something you had been thinking about and whilst being cliche, it still suited her quite well. 

“B-Bun? That's such a cute nickname! A little cliche, but still cute! I love it so much and I’m so happy that my cute little carrot thought of it for me!” she gushed, holding you even tighter against your body, almost squeezing the life out of you. 

“I’m glad you like it bun”

“I do carrot. Let’s go to bed now yeah?” she offered, placing your figure down on the couch before straightening herself out and standing up, stretching her arm your in your direction, asking you to take it. You gladly placed your hand in hers, pushing yourself up and sticking beside her as you both made your way to the bed. 

Rumi let go of your hand and made herself comfortable on the bed, making space for you as she moved the large and fluffy comforter and patted the spot, beckoning you to come to take your place beside her. You reluctantly sat on the bed before fully laying flat on your back, awkward and unmoving as you felt Rumi’s eyes on your still figure. 

“You can turn on your side and face me y’ know” she piped up. 

“I’m nervous” you admitted, not wanting to gaze into her eyes. 

Rumi laughed before placing her hand on your cheek, coercing you into facing her direction. You hesitantly obliged and turned your whole body to face her, still avoiding her piercing eyes. She laughed once more before inching her face closer to yours, both of your lips just an inch away from each other. 

“Don’t be a nervous baby carrot, it’s only me” she reassured, stroking the chub of your cheek while you relished in the feeling of the soft pads of her fingers stroking your face. You placed your hand on top of Rumi’s, pressing your face even harder against her palm. Rubbing your cheek against her warm hand. 

“Can I kiss you bun? I wanna kiss you so badly” you softly whined, feeling yourself in the hands of Rumi. Instead of replying she decided to just press her lips against yours, moaning at the feeling of your soft plush lips. 

“Baby carrot” she whimpered, pulling you impossible closer to her, your chests and thighs pressed against each other. You felt arousal consume your whole body, a tight coil forming in your stomach. You whimpered needlessly as Rumi sucked your tongue while wrapping your leg around her hip, placing her hand on the curve of your ass. 

You continued to whine and moan as Rumi caressed your body, her tongue pulling you in and leaving you in a trance. You pulled away, feeling yourself get lost in Rumi herself. 

“If we continued any longer, I would’ve passed out for sure” you sighed, pressing soft kisses on her lips and moving to scatter kisses on her cheeks. She closed her eyes, relishing in the pleasure of you peppering her face with soft kisses. “That’s okay baby carrot, we’ll take it to slow okay?” she took her turn at peppering your cheeks with kisses, making sure to kiss each untouched spot. 

“I like you” you confessed, this time using the courage that had magically shown up to your advantage. You swiped the hair out of her face, wanting to see her. “I like you more,” she replied, kissing the tip of your nose. 

 ___

“Ah~ This is the life! Getting your hair braided by a cute girl while she feeds you!: she chortled, leaning back into your lap as you continued to braid small pieces of her hair while taking small breaks to grab the chopsticks and feed her. You enjoyed watching Rumi relax and eat. It was somewhat satisfying. 

“Don’t you have work today bun?” you asked, feeling much more comfortable than you were from before. After you had spent the night at her place, your relationship with her had only gotten stronger. You felt closer than ever and felt as if nothing could break the pair of you up.

“Nah baby carrot, this is a once in a lifetime thing us heroes call a ‘day off’” she joked, looking behind to face you. “But I’ll be busy this week okay? I don’t want you to worry so I’m just letting you know that I’ll be on the down-low”

It was quite upsetting to see your crush? Girlfriend? Partner? You didn’t even know what to call her. The both of you still hadn’t put a label on your relationship, not that it was a problem, but you wanted to know if she was in it for the long ride or if this was something casual. If it was something casual you would prefer to break it off. You didn’t appreciate sharing your significant other with anyone. 

“Okay bun, I’ll wait for you” you had just settled on something simple, though Rumi saw through your facade and saw that you were somewhat upset by her incoming absence. She just turned around and hugged you, hoping it would give you some type of comfort for your oncoming lonely days without her. 

___

It had been a week since you had seen or heard from Rumi. While she was away, you had busied yourself with tending to your garden, your customers, and practicing baking pastries. You had quite a lot to do. At the moment, you were currently picking some ripe strawberries as you were planning to make some strawberry shortcake, seeing as you had never properly tried it before. 

As you picked the last strawberry, you had noticed it was a mutated one. It was huge! It seemed like it was about three to four normal strawberries combined into one! It fits in the palm of your hand! While you were distracted, you failed to feel your phone vibrate in the pocket of your overalls. 

You made your way inside of your small home and placed the freshly picked basket of fruits on the counter and washed your hands in the sink. After drying your hands, you took your phone out to see a text from Rumi. 

From: bun<3

I’ll be coming home today. I miss you

7:24

Her text made your heart flutter. Even if it was simple, it still filled you with love and affection. Anything Rumi did was amazing in your eyes. It was quite pathetic really, but that’s what love did to people sometimes.  

You decided that this would be a good time to drop by and give her some love and affection with some food included. You smiled as you imagined the happy face that would be present on Rumi’s face when she saw you. She was for sure going to be happy!

You felt yourself starting to feel giddy. This was going to be a good day!

___

You were wrong, dead wrong. Going to Rumi’s house had been a horrible decision. 

You had decided that after closing up the shop, you would make your way to Rumi’s and bring her food. You wanted to show her how much you had missed her, but you mostly wanted to spend time with her. She was always around and made sure to check up on you and your shoot during her patrols. If she wasn’t in the area, she’d send one of her sidekicks in her place.

When you had gotten to Rumi’s place, she still wasn’t home, giving you time to set up a nice dinner for her before she had gotten home. You had prepared some fried rice along with stir-fried vegetables, knowing that she enjoyed a healthy balanced meal, especially after a hard mission. You smiled once again, you were excited to see her again. You just wanted to take her in your arms and love her the way you wanted to. She wasn’t aware, but you were completely and utterly in love with her.

As time went by, it became easier and easier to admit your feelings for Rumi to yourself. Before, you would blush and stutter at the thought of it, but now, you were able to say it to yourself, but sadly not to Rumi. Not yet, at least. 

You heard the front door slam open before hearing a familiar pair of feet stomp inside before hearing the door slam shut. You heard Rumi stomp her way to the kitchen, her brows furrowed and her eyes filled with anger. She didn’t even spare you a glance before placing her keys on the counter and making her way into the bedroom and slamming it shut. 

You sat down on the counter, hoping that she just needed time to relax before spending quality time with you. You waited, and you waited. It had already been an hour and the food had gone cold. The vegetables were cold and hard, as well as the rice. You decided to place everything in a counter before cleaning up. You knew that she was just upset and needed time for herself.

You made your way to the front door, making sure to shut all the necessary lights as it was already nearing midnight. You didn’t wanna upset her any further by overstaying your welcome. Usually, you would have asked to spend the night, but it didn’t seem like Rumi was in the mood for head pats and cuddles. 

You smacked your head with your palm, already putting on your shoes but you had stupidly forgotten about your phone which you had tossed on the couch when you had first arrived. You took off your shoes once more before stepping back into the living room, knowing how disrespectful it was to walk into someone's home with shoes on, especially dirty shoes. 

You made your way to the couch before picking up your phone, seeing two different texts from Rumi before she had gotten home. 

From: bun <3

I’m really upset, usually, I’d love for you to visit but I just want to be alone. I hope you understand. 

10:23

From: bun<3

We can go out tomorrow if you’d like? I miss you carrot

10:26

You were an idiot. An actual idiot. At that time, you were already setting the table as you had closed the shop at eight, having only two hours to cook Rumi a proper meal before her arrival. You should have just left her alone. Now she thinks that you ignored her texts and invited yourself into her home anyways.

You sighed before plopping your phone down on the cushion beside you, placing your arm over your eyes, wanting to just go home and sleep. You should probably make your way home now. It was already getting late. You sat up, making a move to get up off of the couch when Rumi’s bedroom door slammed shut. A pair of feet dragging down the hallway as she made herself known in the living room, standing barely two feet away from you. 

Your jaw was left hanging. You were unsure of what to say? Would she be upset? Would she kick you out? Before you could come up with any more anxiety-inducing thoughts, Rumi had chosen to interrupt you before you had gone any further. 

“Why’re you still here? I thought I made it clear that I wanted to be alone. Do you not know how to use your head?” she sassed, moving around the coffee table to walk towards the kitchen. While she was in the kitchen, you remained glued to the couch. Appalled at the words that had just exited her mouth. 

“I-I” you stuttered, unable to formulate a proper response under her piercing gaze from where she stood in the kitchen. 

“What? Are you just going to stutter and babble like a dumbass? I asked you if you could use your head or not. I’m not sure how clear I could have made this, but I did not want to see you today. I had a shitty mission and all I wanted to do was come home and relax. Instead, I come home to you, doing God knows what in the kitchen! Have you no boundaries? Can your pea-sized brain even comprehend boundaries?” she mocked, harsh words spouting from her mouth as if her mouth was a fountain of curses. “Fucking idiot” she mumbled under her breath. 

You wanted to cry. This time, you had a good reason. You hadn’t expected Rumi to be this upset with you. You had good intentions but you didn’t mean to overstep. You had only wanted to let her know that you had missed her. 

You nodded, opting to stare at your hands that were neatly folded in your lap instead of defending yourself. You probably deserved this anyways. It would be over soon, you just had to suck it up and tough it out. You did put yourself in this situation in the first place. 

“Nothing to say? You’re dumber than I thought” she hissed. 

“You’re going too far Rumi-san. I never intended to step over any boundaries. I was already here before you texted me because I wanted to make sure that you could easily relax when you got home. I wanted to cook for you and take care of you—“ you cried, your tears finally sliding down your cheeks “—I didn’t mean to overstep. But you insulting my intelligence and my mannerisms is too far. You’re being disrespectful and I don’t like that. Don’t take your anger out on me” you scolded, staring at her with such an intense and almost hateful gaze.

You could never hate Rumi, but the words she had spoken to you were something that you were going to remember for the rest of your life, you knew that this would haunt you forever and probably give you nightmares. 

Her face faltered. Your words had finally been processed in her head. Sometimes Rumi acted before thinking. It was one of her lesser traits but you grew to love it anyway. 

It was quite surprising how you were able to defend yourself without bursting into tears, probably because this was the one person whom you had never expected to blow upon you--to take their anger out on you. 

“If you never liked me, then why did you lead me on? What was the whole point of this? You wasted my time, and yours as well” You spat, finally allowing your tears to cascade down your cheeks. “You are a horrible person Usagiyama Rumi.” you spat with venom before taking the rest of your things and walking past her, stopping at the door to say “Delete my number”

You understood that you had done something wrong, but the fact that she had degraded you and insulted you was just immature. You wiped the tears off of your face, upset at the fact that she thought that was okay. Had she always thought this way? Was she just playing you? Your mind was just running amok and you didn’t have anyone to calm you down. 

Luckily, you had safely made it home, encountering no villains or criminals during your journey home. When you had gotten home, you had thrown yourself in bed, not even bothering to change your clothes or clean up. You cried yourself to sleep that night, your anxiety and insecurities weighing down on your shoulders. 

___

It had been a few days after your encounter with Rumi. You had muted her texts and calls, not having the heart to block her and fully eliminate her from your life just yet. You sighed once more, picking the rest of the carrots and taking them back inside to wash. It was almost time to open up the store. 

It had been quite a rough week, you spent most of your week crying, thus resulting in red puffy eyes. It still hurt to touch or rub them. You probably looked stupid, and it was probably noticed that you had been crying. 

You chose to wear glasses today, hoping that it would hide your tired and puffy eyes, not wanting your customers to worry about your wellbeing, especially Ms. Takeshi. She was quite old and you did not need her to worry about you as if you were one of her children, of course, you thought of her as a mom but you didn’t wanna burden her with your problems. 

Hopefully, today will be a better day for you and your fruits and vegetables. 

___

“She’s not answering me Keigo! I’m getting nervous!” Rumi whined, feeling slightly queasy.     

“She probably blocked you” he laughed, finding some amusement in his friend's pain. It was quite sadistic but this was Keigo we’re talking about. It wasn’t rare to see him finding amusement in fucked up things. It was just how he worked. 

“But my texts are still going in! I keep trying to apologize but she keeps ignoring me” she whined, flopping on her back and tossing her phone away from her. They were both currently on patrol, sitting atop of a building somewhere in the city. Both of them were currently situated on top of the building a few buildings away from your shop, your little building of establishment visible. 

“If you did that to me, ridiculed and degraded me, you would never hear from me again. I’m not surprised by her actions Rumi. She was a great girl and sorry to say it, but you fucked up. Real bad.” he continued, wanting his companion to realize how badly she had fucked up. 

“You don’t have to tell me okay?” she grumbled, starting to feel irritation seep into her veins while her supposed friend continued to bring up her mistakes. 

“Yeah, but you still gotta apologize anyways” he blew a piece of flyaway hair out of his face before continuing. “Why’d you do that anyway? Were you just leading her on or something? Cuz that’s mean” Keigo teased, adding more salt to her open wound. 

“I-I was frustrated. One of the younger heroes got killed. A bunch of civilians too. I felt so fucking useless. I was useless. I didn’t save anyone. I may have kicked ass, but that’s not what being a hero is all about. Being a hero is about saving as many lives as you can. I saved nobodies. I just wanted to be alone and I told her that, but I guess she didn’t see. When I saw her at my place, I just left her for a while. I didn’t talk to her--” she sighed. 

“Then I came out and she was just sitting on the couch. I don’t know what overcame me. I just lost it. What I did wasn’t right and I have to earn her forgiveness, but I’m not even sure she’ll let me. I hurt her so fucking bad Keigo” she sighed, placing her arm on her face, shielding herself from Keigo’s pitying gaze. 

Keigo tsked before getting up, shaking his head in disapproval. “I got a plan for you bunny girl, don’t worry about it. Just make sure that you have something nice planned for tomorrow, and dress nice too. Just leave it to me. I’ll help ya. Believe it.”

“Naruto?”

“Shut up”

___

As you were exiting the shop, you encountered a familiar winged hero, stopping at the magnificent sight of his wings. “Hawks?” you squinted, almost thinking you were dreaming, fast asleep on top of the counter in your shop. 

“Hey birdy, how are ya?” he greeted, stepping a little closer to you. 

“I’m okay. I’m sorry, I’m closing the shop right now but if you want anything, I can open it back up? They won’t be as fresh as it’s already late, but I can fix them up with my quirk!” you explained, already digging for the key in your pocket. 

“Nah baby I’m okay, don’t worry about me. I was just wondering if I could take you out? Maybe for coffee?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck. You blushed. What did he want with you? Was he playing with you? Was this a ploy to get you back with Rumi when you hadn’t even established a proper relationship with her?

“O-Okay, I don’t mind” you stuttered, blushing at the fact that he wanted to take you out. This still must have been a play, but this was still the Pro-Hero Hawks! This was an opportunity you couldn’t miss due to your stubborn and prideful personality!

“Come here baby bird, we’re flying” he smiled, wrapping his arms around your waist before taking off, launching the both of you into the air. You screamed as you both flew up, not used to flying. 

“Um… Hawks-san... Why did you want to talk? I’ve never spoken to me before” you started, clutching his arm a little harder as he weaved the both of you through the city. “I’ll talk at the coffee shop okay? I promise.” he smiled.

You nodded, not wanting to pry any further as you didn’t want to overstep your boundaries once more. 

___

“Look, Rumi misses you kid.” he started, scratching the back of his head, mussing up his already wind-swept hair. “I KNEW IT!” you cried, slamming your frappuccino that he oh so kindly bought for you on the table, startling Hawks and the few customers in the joint. 

“I know she’s sorry. I’ve seen her. She’s messed up right now. I know what she did was shitty but you gotta give her another chance kid.” he nearly begged, grasping at your hands. You scowled. How dare he? What did he know? 

”Is that supposed to make me pity her? She knows what she did. And, with all due respect, you shouldn't even be trying to apologize for her in the first place, Hawks-san” you seethed, letting go of his hands and balling yours into fists. You were irritated. 

”Look, I know how badly she fucked up. If it was me, I wouldn't even waste my time with her. But that's me, and this is you. I know you’re in love with her baby bird. Please don't give up on her just because of one fight. All couples fight and all couples are toxic in their own ways. You just have to communicate.” he smiled. 

”F-Fine! But… Please don't mention my feelings for her! That's just embarrassing!” you yelled, hiding your heating face into the palms of your hand. Hawks smiled again before getting up, beckoning for you to follow him. 

Hawks was quite surprised at your willingness to accompany him to meet Rumi. he expected you to be either hesitant or just reject his proposal and leave Rumi in the dust. He smiled once more, you had strong feelings for her, that was a guarantee. 

But, it was now or never. 

Hawks had flown the both of you on top of this building a few ways away from your shop. Your shop was actually visible from here! As Hawks set you down, he motioned for you to turn around, you obeyed, only to see Rumi standing there, holding a bouquet of white orchids. You recognized them as the ‘I’m sorry flowers’. You scoffed. Did she think you were going to be bought by flowers? 

Maybe. 

You felt your cheeks heating up at the sight of Rumi. She still wore her normal clothes, but for some reason, she looks even more attractive than she did before. Of course, she was attractive but it felt as if her attractiveness doubled. Or was that just because you haven’t seen her for some time? People did say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

Rumi approached you before trying to nudge the flowers in your hands. You reluctantly took them, not wanting to rub any more salt onto her wounds. You knew that what she had done was wrong and disrespectful, but you understood that sometimes people snapped. Anger was a human emotion, though she just didn't deal with it very well.  

“I’m sorry carrot. I disrespected you and called you names. I made fun of your intelligence even though you’re one of the smartest, prettiest, and most creative people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I know that I can’t make excuses, but I know what I can do is try my best to get you to forgive me and regain your trust” she softly spoke, staring lovingly into your eyes. 

You felt tears well up in your eyes. You knew she was sorry, but you still felt hurt by her words. She may have just said it out of anger and to hurt you, but it still hurt. There was the intention with her words. You knew and felt it. You knew that you would be able to forgive her but when things like this happened, it turned you off. 

Though, this case is special. You should’ve checked your phone and asked for permission to go inside her home in the first place. Your fault may not have been as serious or as severe as hers, but you weren’t going to let her shoulder all of the blame. 

You placed the flowers down on the floor, resulting in you worrying Rumi in the process. Were you going to leave? Did you not accept her apology? Did you hate her? Did you never want to see her again? Were you ever going to forgive her? Rumi could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears, anxiety bubbling up inside her. She was suddenly overcome with an urge to hurl. Before she could even gag, you had already thrown yourself in her arms, wrapping your arms around your neck whilst your legs did the same to her waist. 

“I accept your apology! I’m sorry too! I didn’t mean to ignore my texts! Please take me back! I love you so much bun bun!” you sobbed, grasping her even tighter, unaware of what you had just spoken. You heard Rumi let out a laugh of disbelief. 

She pulled away to gaze at your crying face, feeling herself fall even harder for the crybaby right in front of her. She smiled before slamming her lips against yours, quickly dipping her tongue inside of your mouth. Your eyes widened at the surprise kiss before you slowly melted into it, using your tongue to caress hers, pulling her in even further into you. 

As you and Rumi made out, Hawks stood there. He literally just stood there. “H-Hey Rumi! I thought you said I would be eating dinner with you guys” he tried to gain their attention, even sending some of his feathers to them, trying to separate them from each other. 

But, Rumi just shooed him away, leaving Hawks to sadly walk away. As Hawks flew off of the building, his one thought was ‘when will I meet my someone?’. He sighed and continued his flight home. He would meet his soulmate one day. That was for sure. 

“Rumi, do you love me back?” you asked, wanting to hear it come from her mouth. She smiled, caressing the soft skin of your cheeks. “I do carrot. I really do” she smiled, leaning in for another kiss. “Why did you choose to bring me up here though? We could have just gone to your apartment” you tilted your head, resulting in Rumi’s heart skipping a beat. 

“Well, I’ve actually known you for a while. There was a time where I was patrolling here and I saw you walking home, it was already late so I wanted to keep an eye out for you and make sure you were safe. I saw you reviving all the dead plants you passed by, even growing some berries on the shrubbery. I just thought you were so interesting, but I didn't want to be a stalker so I let you go. Then a few days later, I get thrown inside your shop. What a coincidence huh?” she laughed. 

“You’re such a simp bun” you teased, pinching her soft chubby cheeks. 

“Oh! That reminds me, I got you something!” she revealed a small box before handing it to you. It was quite heavy. You opened it, only to find out that it was a bunny! Rumi had gotten you a bunny! How ironic. You scooped it out of the box before placing the bunny in your arms, feeling your bottom lip tremble at the adorable site of the bunny. 

“Do you like it?” she queried, anxious to find out. 

“I love it! I’m gonna name them Hawks!”

“E-Eh? Why!? Why not after me? Hey! Wait! Don’t use your vines to escape! Answer me!” 

___

“Rumi! Where do I smash this in?” you asked, wondering where the hammer was. “Baby carrot, that’s a screw, you can’t use a hammer, we need a drill,” she informed you, carefully taking the hammer out of your dangerous hands. 

“Why’d I have to get such a big closet anyways” you grumbled, sitting on the ground with a pout, hating how useless you were right now. “Because you ran out of snack space. It’s okay. My dad taught me how to build stuff, also this is from IKEA so it’s easy to follow” she bragged, smirking at your sulking figure. 

“Can you hand me the door? We can attach it now. Don’t worry, we’re almost done baby, I promise” she smiled, ruffling the top of your hair. You grumbled about not liking her messing your hair up before reluctantly getting up to fetch the door for your lovely girlfriend. Has this door always been so big and heavy?

You squatted and wrapped your arms around the door, grunting as you tried to pick it up. You succeeded but lost your balance, your legs locking into place as you fell backwards, the door landing on top of you and smashing into your forehead. “HELP!” you cried as you were pinned under the door.

Rumi came running in, thinking you had hammered a nail through your own foot, only to find you on the floor, under a cabinet door. She snickered as your limbs wiggled. 

“I guess you can say you look… a-door-able HAHAHA!”

“Haha. Please help, my lungs are being crushed”

“OH SHIT”

© katsukisbimbo 2020 — all rights reserved. please refrain from modifying, translating, reposting of any kind. plagiarism will NOT be tolerated. please be kind and enjoy!

[yesttoheaven]

GOOD GIRLS GO TO HELL

CHAPTER 1

pairing: arvin russell x female!reader

summary: In the eyes of extremely strict parents, 'good' girls go to hell, but they don't know that they are handing over their own daughter to the devil – known to all as Rev. Teagardin.

wc: 3.8k

warnings: language, mentions (not depictions) of abuse, manipulation, religious fanaticism, angst

a/n: This idea has been on my mind since the day I watched the movie, so... here we go!

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

"I don't usually interfere that way. It would be best if she came here willingly. She needs to be open to accept all the blessings that God will bring to her life." Rev. Teagardin took a step forward, considering the request of a mother and father completely desperate for the salvation of their only daughter.

"We tried everything. We found great references about a boarding school called 'Good Pastor', but a week later they called to report that she had run away! Our daughter appeared a few days later in the company of three strange girls. One of them is a single mother, our Y/N shouldn't hang out with those kind of people." The woman's words contained disgust. She was tired of watching her daughter ruin her own life. The girl had become a topic of conversation in the town and a shame for the whole family.

"The truth is, we don't know what to do with Y/N. Day after day she becomes more rebellious. She doesn't respect us." Mr. Henson shared the same agony as his wife, but both see Preston as the solution to this problem.

"We don't want our only daughter to go to hell! You need to help us, Reverend. We believe that you are the only one capable of driving the devil out of her. In the name of God, save our little Y/N!"

In absolute silence, the preacher walked near the window, watching Y/N. She was sitting on the hood of Mr. Henson's car and her body was lulled by the gentle breeze that touched the skirt of the dress she wore, revealing her legs that should have been silky smooth. Smiling, the man looked at the girl's parents, knowing exactly what to do to save Y/N's soul.

"I'm glad you came to me. God will be my guide to help your daughter. Now, I would like to talk to her for a while."

Extremely grateful, Y/N's parents agreed and left the church for a few seconds. When they returned, Y/N was with them. The girl's curious eyes moved from side to side, until they found Preston Teagardin with his hands on his hips. He was at the altar, the cross appearing behind his head left him with a divine aura, but the girl remembers the day she saw the preacher humiliate – indirectly – the chicken liver dish that Emma Russell prepared with such affection. If he said those horrible things to a religious woman like Emma, Y/N didn't want to imagine what he might be thinking about her at the moment. Maybe he was wondering why she hasn't started to burn while walking on sacred ground, but it was him who was burning. Burning with desire. A sin that he identifies in others, but never in himself.

"Hello, you must be Y/N." The man approached, his eyes shining like a hungry predator who had just found the perfect prey. "You don't usually visit the house of God."

"But I'm sure that is about to change." Y/N's mother replied, looking at her daughter hopefully.

Y/N may not be an especially easy girl to handle, but she never understood why her parents didn't respect her space. She never visited the church often and that number dropped to zero when they started to force her to go with them. Over the years, Knockemstiff residents have turned religion into a disease. It's close to insanity and Y/N Henson doesn't want that for her life. Despite being seen as a sinner, she still prays every night. She gets down on her knees and talks to God.

"Dear, your dad and I brought you here to talk to Reverend Teagardin..."

"What? You said you would come here to confess and then we would go home!" Y/N protested angrily. She was ready to retrace her steps to the exit when her father took her arm.

"Y/N, we just want the best for you. Talking to the reverend can be a good start."

"And we are not giving you another option." Mrs. Henson completed, remaining firm in her decision. "Your father and I agreed not to participate in this conversation. We will walk around the town and then we come back here to get you."

"I can take her home... If you agree." Teagardin said, hiding his real intentions and touching the girl's shoulder. She was so small around him and looked so vulnerable. He smiled when he realized that.

"Oh, that's very kind, Reverend. Thanks." Y/N's mother replied, feeling enchanted by the man's benevolence. "Be a good girl." She said, kissing her daughter's forehead.

The preacher accompanied them to the door and having no other option Y/N walked through the church, staring at the cross nailed to the wall. She never felt that she was turning away from God, but looking back is exactly what she did.

"Now it's just me, you and Him." The reverend's words brought Y/N out of her own thoughts and she turned to him, crossing her arms in the process. This made her breasts more visible under the black dress she wore and Teagardin noticed.

"I can go and you tell my parents that you talked to me, but it didn't work because I'm a hopeless case. It's simple."

"I can't lie to your parents. I also don't think you're a hopeless case, Y/N." The man admitted, going to the first bench and sitting down. "We can talk?"

"Like... about my sins?"

"No. A normal conversation. Why don't you start by telling me about your life?" He patted the bench, silently inviting her to sit beside him.

Y/N didn't understand how a simple conversation could help, but she found the idea pleasant. Showing a shy smile, she approached Teagardin and sat down next to him, leaving a space between their bodies. Once again she looked at the cross, beginning to speak:

"I work for Ms. Fowler, she has a chicken coop and some pigs... I don't do much, but I like to help take care of animals and she says they like me too." At that moment Y/N looked at the preacher and imagined that she would find him with an expression of disinterest. The same expression of disinterest that her parents show when she tried to start a conversation or simply tell how her day was. They were always busy, but Teagardin was completely focused on everything she said and with a small smile on the corner of his lips.

"So, do you take care of the animals? I'm impressed, I don't know many girls who risk their lives by entering a pigsty."

"It's a dangerous place." She let slip a sweet laugh, feeling light, as she hadn't felt for a long time. "I understand them."

"I can see that you have a great relationship with animals, but what about your friends? Tell me a little about them." Those words were enough to destabilize Y/N. Any sign of happiness disappeared from her face and everything went gray, just like the view through the church windows. The rain was close and Y/N controlled herself not to start crying.

Like a sniffer dog, Preston felt this was a sensitive subject for the girl – maybe an open wound – and waited patiently until she decided to share it with him.

"I was never good at making friends, but I used to have a friend at school. Her name was Isabella. We were inseparable, but one day her father received a job offer in another city... Despite the distance, she called me every day in the late afternoon" The nostalgia was noticeable in her voice and the way her face softened with small memories. Isabella and Y/N were like sisters, but Mrs. Henson never approved of that friendship. "I am three years without news of my best friend. She never called or answered my letters and I don't know why, reverend."

"Have you never been to visit her?"

"My parents won't let me out of Knockemstiff."

"You don't have to go alone. They can go with you..."

"They don't care about me or what I want." Y/N said, shaking her shoulders as if this feeling was mutual, but deep down she knew it wasn't. "My mom said I have the power to turn people away and if Isabella walked away from me, it is certainly my fault."

"Your mother shouldn't say that." Teagardin looked deeply hurt. The situation was worse than he imagined, this family needs his help.

Y/N needs his help.

"Well, I lost Isabella's friendship, but I got three new friends!" The girl informed, as if she had finally found her place. "Two of them I met at the boarding school. The third helped us to escape and she has a beautiful baby. They work together in a bar away from the city..."

"What do they do in this bar?" The reverend had some suspicions, but he wanted to hear her confess.

"They... dance." Y/N said slowly. "I know it can look wrong, but they are good people and I don't understand why everyone looks at these girls with..."

"Have you ever been there?" Preston needed to know, but the girl just bowed her head. Sighing deeply, he stretched his arm over her shoulders, ending the distance between their bodies. "It's all right... God is merciful and benevolent. He forgives all of our sins, but He does not forgive lies."

"It was only once. I swear!" In the same instant that the words left her lips, she hid her face in Teagardin's chest and he took the opportunity to hug her, and feel the sweet perfume of her hair. It smelled like innocence.

"You made a mistake by going there. That place is not for family girls."

"I was just tired of everything... So, I thought about going there to have a drink and forget about the problems."

"Learn one thing..." The man said softly, running his fingers through her hair. "When problems arise and you feel alone, start praying. God is your best friend. And I am also here to help you."

"Thanks, reverend."

"Never go back to that place again. You shouldn't be drinking... and smoking."

"Wait..." The girl moved away from Teagardin, looking him straight in the eye. "Did my parents say that?"

"I was in town when I saw you smoking with a boy. He approached you and passed the smoke to your mouth... And then he kissed you. Is he your boyfriend?"

"Oh, you saw me with Arvin..." Shame consumed Y/N, turning her cheeks into two tomatoes. "But we are not together. It was our first kiss... My first kiss."

The moment they shared in the car had been magical. Arvin was always different from the Knockemstiff boys. He never judged Y/N for her actions. He understood her, but sometimes some problems were so big that they made the girl run away from him. All Arvin wanted was to hold her in his arms and protect from all the evil in the world.

"You need to stay away from these people. Starting with this young guy." The preacher's words captured Y/N's attention, confusing her. "You can't see it now, but those friendships are not good for you. They are driving you away from your true purpose. And Arvin Russell is taking advantage of your innocence to..."

"Arvin would never do that." She stated in all letters, not letting him finish the assumption. "I think... I think he likes me."

"There is a big difference between love and carnal attraction, and boys his age think of only one thing." Teagardin insisted, using a peaceful tone of voice. He was so convincing, that despite knowing Arvin for a long time, Y/N wondered about the boy's real intentions. He was always kind and respectful, or maybe that's what she thought, but with the help of the reverend she was beginning to understand, and the feeling of being used was difficult to digest. "I saw the way he looked at you... I saw the sin in his eyes."

"This cannot be true... W-We are not talking about the same person! He's d-different!"

"It doesn't matter who you believed in all this time or what you accepted to... to be like them. In the end, you are alone. You know it." When Preston finished, she was completely broken. It was cruel, but someone needed to open her eyes. Y/N deserved the truth. "I know it is difficult, but I am here for you." He buried her against his chest in a bear hug, wishing feel her soft, warm body in his arms again. Y/N returned the hug — and then started to cry.

Her friends were not her friends.

Her parents were right.

She felt confused. Lost. But the reverend was beside her to show a new path free from sin and delusions.

"Do you know Proverbs 28:13?" He asked, holding her face in his hands. With his fingertips he wiped away a few tears and she smiled, shaking her head. "Whoever tries to hide his sins will not succeed, but the one who confesses his sins and leaves them behind will find mercy. Are you ready for this?"

"Yes, reverend." That was the confirmation he needed.

Preston Teagardin always believed that he had a special connection with God. With the right words he had the power to reach the hearts of these girls and offer them redemption. In his dark mind, they were privileged to be touched by a holy man like him. He was doing them a favor. And now it's Y/N's turn.

"First, you need to be free from your sins." The man looked with adoration for the little fallen angel. Slowly, he touched her knees, feeling the smooth skin and after a sigh, the girl was in his hands.

"Reverend..."

"Shhh. Just trust me." He said when his hands disappeared under her dress. His touch was sacred, something she had never experienced, but Y/N's conscience screamed that this was wrong. "Stand up so I can take your panties off. I need to feel you..." She got up, but ran quickly away from him, escaping his dirty hands.

Disappointment appeared in her eyes in the form of tears. It was impossible not to feel used. Again. Influenced by him, Y/N believed that her friends were a problem in her life and that they were moving her away from God's plans, but the real sinner is inside the church. His understanding, concern and kindness never existed. It was all part of the game. He needed to earn her trust before he could attack.

"You... You are a wolf in sheep's clothing! A liar! I thought for the first time someone was understanding my side, but you just want to fuck with me!"

"You got it wrong..."

"S-Stay away from me!" Y/N warned when Teagardin tried to approach. Fear coursed through her veins, spreading through her body like a drug. She didn't know what to do, but she knew she didn't want to be touched by him that way. "If you approach me, I swear I make a scandal! The whole city will know who you really are!"

"No one will believe you." He took a step forward. "You need help. I'm the only one who can..."

"Stop that shit! Do not say that the devil is in me, when you are trying to abuse a girl who is old enough to be your daughter! You are the devil, Teagardin!" For the first time she saw the anger in his eyes. Preston would never agree with that, but that is his true face. He is the devil in disguise and this was confirmed the instant he advanced on her.

Y/N ran to the exit, screaming desperately for help, even though she knew she was alone in this nightmare. With shaking hands, she tried to open the door, but the reverend took her in his arms. Compared to the girl’s small, slender body, he was stronger than she was, but Y/N resisted and hit her knee in the middle of his legs, reaching his weak point. The man let out a loud growl and walked away, seeking support on one of the wooden benches. Taking advantage of the distraction, Y/N opened the door and ran as fast as she could. Teagardin thought of running after her to finish what he started, but he gave up as soon as he saw her cross the threshold of the church, running in the rain as if her life depended on it. She didn't look back, just kept running until she disappeared into the trees.

...

The day turned into night, covering everything with its dark cloak, while rain fell mercilessly on Knockemstiff. Y/N stumbled along the road, hugging her own body in an unsuccessful attempt to warm up. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks, mixing with the raindrops, but the girl's mind was elsewhere.

After what happened at the church, her faith was in pieces. She always knew that bad men walked on Earth, but she never imagined that the preacher was one of them. The way he touched her was disgusting. She wanted to scream, take the pain out of her chest and run back home to tell her parents what happened, but Teagardin's words were stuck in her head, hurting her:

"In the end, you are alone. You know it."

"No one will believe you."

Unexpectedly – or maybe that was a divine sign – a car approached the road Y/N was on. She was surprised to hear the noise of the engine and looked back. Despite the rain and the headlight blinding her for a few moments, Y/N recognized the old car and the boy on the other side certainly recognized her too. Arvin left his truck without a second thought, not caring about the pouring rain wetting his clothes in a matter of seconds.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, needing to raise his voice so she could hear. The girl opened her mouth to reply, but gave up, looking away.

Arvin realized that something was wrong. It was common to see Y/N walking around the city, but not in these circumstances. Before she looked away, he noticed the pain in her eyes. It was no secret to him that she had a difficult relationship with her parents, but this time it was different.

For a moment the worry made him forget that they were both still in the rain and when he realized this, the boy immediately guided her to the car. When she was safely in the passenger seat, he bypassed the vehicle and took the driver's seat. Rain was no longer a problem, but the cold persisted and Arvin grabbed his jeans jacket from the back seat.

"Here." He handed it to her and Y/N mumbled a small 'thanks', wearing the jacket. "So... what happened? You are far from home. It is dangerous to go out in the middle of a storm like this..."

"My intention is to stay away from home. The storm is an extra." The girl tried to relax, hiding her real emotions but it was obvious that she was not well.

"Did you argue with your parents again?"

"I would prefer that." She replied, forcing a laugh. Getting into an argument with her parents was common for her and seemed small compared to what actually happened. But what really happened was suffocating her. "I can tell you everything, r-right?"

"You know you can." Arvin said, holding her hand. The simple contact made their hearts accelerate and Y/N was grateful to have him by her side.

Feeling encouraged, she began to tell what happened at the church. The fact that her parents insisted that the devil was inside her, made Arvin angry. He never understood what the problem was with Mr. and Mrs. Henson about this. Y/N was not sick. All she needed was love and they never gave it to her.

Y/N didn't want to delve into the details of her conversation with the new preacher, but Arvin heard the fear in her voice when she mentioned his name. She said he was good with words, and very persuasive. He easily won her trust and that was her worst mistake. Arvin stopped listening when she said that the man's hands disappeared under the dress she was wearing. Anger consumed him quickly, making his blood boil and he clapped his hands on the steering wheel. With a vision blurred by tears, Y/N looked at him with concern. The tension was clear throughout his body; his jaw was tightly clenched and his hands were shaking as his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Arvin always had an explosive temper – paternal inheritance –, especially when the people he cared about were hurt.

"The preacher will never touch you again. I promise." He stated with conviction, bringing his attention back to Y/N. She looked tired, crying silently and the boy opened his arms for her to snuggle against his chest. Playing with a lock of her hair, he said: "I always knew there was something wrong with him. I should be there for you..."

"It's okay, Arvin. I'll be fine and I'll forget what happened... I just need to stay away from the church. This is easy for me." Y/N knew it wouldn't be so easy, but to calm him down, everything was welcome.

"You cannot protect him."

"I am not protecting him, but I know you..." She murmured softly, running a hand over his chest. "My life is a mess, you are the only one who believes in me. So, I'm just asking you not to do anything stupid... Because... Because I need you here." Arvin relaxed at her words. It was nice to know that she wanted him around in this difficult time. Y/N would have his support forever. And his love. For her sake, he decided to act with caution, but this does not mean that Teagardin will not suffer the consequences of his actions.

With undisclosed feelings, they remained embraced, just enjoying each other's company. It had been a long day. Arvin remembered the fallen tree in the middle of the road, forcing him to take the long way home, but that path brought him to Y/N. He was happy that it was he who found her in the middle of this storm.

"You need to rest. I will take you home." The boy broke the silence and Y/N moved away from him, shaking her head.

"No! I don't want to go home! My parents... they go..."

"I'll take you to my house." Arvin said, catching her cheek with his hand and watching the panic disappear from her eyes. With a smile, he added: "Grandma misses you."

• a/n: This is the first fic I publish here and I'm very nervous!! (Possibly I will do a second part of this) Btw, criticism is welcome!!

(CHAPTER TWO HERE)

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 2 (2/2) : MC and Phil have lunch but it doesn't turn out as planned.

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Heyy guys!! Here's (2/2) of part2! 😁

(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and owners of the pics)

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- Why didn't he want you to have a break? He asks me gently, sounding confused.

- Because I arrived late by one minute this morning, I respond to his question. I look up at Phil as I hear him chuckling. He doesn't believe me...

- Right… he says before looking down at me. I give him a look, showing him that I am being serious. That's enough reason for my boss... Oh, you're being serious? He asks me with surprise. I nod positively as I notice the exasperation growing over his face. What are you waiting for to change your job? He then asks me as we are walking through a small path. Green grass is surrounding it accompanied by flowers. There are two benches every 50 meters. It's one of the most peaceful areas in Duskwood. That's where I usually go by when I need to clear my head. It’s just sad, in a way, that it is next to might work… Oh well...

- Trust me. I looked everywhere. But have you seen a lot of job offers around Duskwood lately? I haven't, I answer to the man as we approach a wooden bench. We take a seat on it while he puts down his bag.

- You could work with me at the Aurora, he proposes to me, using a suggestive tone mixed with a hopeful one.

- Mmmh... I'm not sure it'll be a good idea, I reply and smile playfully to his comment.

- Why not? He asks me, looking a little disappointed. He's actually being serious...

- Well, one, because the others would start to wonder why I am working at your bar, I say as I pull one finger out. Two, will you still manage to work? Won't I be distracting you? I question him playfully, pulling a second finger out while smirking. I know he takes it seriously and I do too, but it makes the atmosphere lighter this way. There's no need to fall on an argument because of that… and Phil is the last person I want to argue with.

- Well, I admit having the beautiful sight you'll be giving me constantly will clearly take my mind off work but, I'm sure I'll manage, he responds with his charming smile, which is contagious, as he enters my game. It's impossible to not smile when he does. I smile as I feel my cheeks lightly burning. It's awful how easy he makes me blush... Phil begins to open it before I hear him rummaging in a plastic bag. Oh… I didn't take anything to eat… I look away, getting nervous. I don't get why he makes me so nervous. It's… a weird feeling. It's a crazy feeling. Here, for you, I turn my head and look at what he is holding to me. Oh…! Cobb salad with a fork, something to drink, he pulls out a bottle of water and gives it to me. I take it. And I heard someone liked dark chocolate so I got some, he tells me, pulling a tablet of chocolate out of his bag. It's terrible… I can't control myself. I can't stop smiling, appreciating his attention.

- My favorite! How did you know? I ask him happily as stars must be filling my eyes. I mean, chocolate is just everything! Phil laughs amused and winks at me. You asked Jessy? I demand him with surprise, yet, kind of… scared of his answer. I don't know why I'm scared about Jessy finding out I accepted to have lunch with her brother. Is this a date in the end?

- No, why would I ask my sister? He asks me back, frowning confused.

- Because she knows me well. And I thought you would have told your sister about this lunch, I simply replied to Phil, telling him my thoughts on how he might have done things before coming here.

- Well, I didn't, he answers calmly, shaking lightly his head left to right. I nod understandingly, keeping a small smile. Did you? He then asks me. I look up at him and start shaking my head negatively. Though, before I could say a word, I was being interrupted.

- MC? Phil? I widen my eyes in surprise to Phil before I turn my head to look at the person. She approaches us, smiling and looking confused at the same time. How…? What are you two doing here? Asks us, Jessy, coming to stand before the both of us. She looks at me with her usual smile, waiting for an answer. Oh God… What am I supposed to tell her? Will she take the truth well? What will she think? I hold onto my fork nervously as I give her a shy smile.

- I saw MC having lunch here by herself while I was walking around so I stopped by to talk a bit, responds, Phil, getting me out of this awkward and nerve wracking situation.

- Mmmh... Shouldn't you be at the bar? She asks him back, looking suspicious. It's hard to hide things from Jessy. Especially since she knows us well… Too well...

- It's pretty empty at this time, Jessy. It's noon. Why do you think I'm eating too? He says and asks her back, sounding calm but also a little annoyed that she stays here and asks all of those questions. I mean… I love Jessy but I'm going to die of nervousness here. I hate keeping secrets from her… Especially when it involves her brother.

- Right, she tells him, not so satisfied by the answer. When does your break end, MC? She then asks me.

- I have to get back in, in like... 15 min or so, I respond to her, looking up at my best friend after checking the time on my phone.

- Let me guess, your boss is being the same dick as ever? She tells me, looking sorry for me. Jessy knows absolutely everything about what my boss said or did to me or my colleagues.

- Bull eyes, I reply, nodding positively. I see Jessy weakly shaking her head left to right, upset with my boss. Oh! Oh, Jessy, before I forgot, could you stop by my mother's for me, please? She wasn't well because of… You know, the loss of my uncle, and I think she needs to take her mind off a little bit, I demand her gently as I know mom considers Jessy like her second child. I'm sure she would be happy to see her. Though, it was hard for me to mention Uncle Alex. Harder than I thought.

- Oh right, I wanted to send you a message. I am so sorry about your uncle, MC. Alex was amazing, she apologizes sincerely to me, her eyes showing sadness. Jessy knees Uncle Alex as well. Duskwood is a small town and, well, Jessy was often at home so she knew him too.

- Thanks… I thank her with a small smile as I frown sadly. I tried...

- Well, I have to get back to work before Richy thinks I quit, she tells us playfully. I smile at her comment. It's true, I think Richy would be lost without her at work. Don't be a dick to her, Phil. I'll know each of your moves, anyway, she warns her brother as she begins to walk away.

- Right… he simply says, sounding annoyed. It was almost as if he didn't mumble to himself. I hear Jessy softly laughing before she finally leaves. I follow her with my eyes before meeting Phil's ones. So gorgeous... So I'm guessing you didn't tell her either, he says with a smirk.

- We all have our secrets, don't we? I reply to the boy before winking back.

- We do, he agrees. The two of us continue eating our lunch as time is passing by. I don't have much time and I won't be able to eat anything before tonight. It's going to be long until then… I look up as I hear a car honking. A little breeze hit my face and pushed back some of my hair. A lock came over my cheek so I gently pushed it away. The sun is so bright in the sky today. You look tired, MC, he suddenly tells me. I do…? I'm not surprised...

- I didn't sleep well. I didn't sleep much. I couldn't with... You know, I answer to Phil as my lock of hair comes over my face again. Though, I couldn't mention my uncle a second time. I couldn't bring myself to do it.

With his hand, he reaches the lock of hair and pushes it gently back behind my ear. Oh… Once again, our eyes meet. As always, there is this connection. They're so deep and… Gorgeous. I mean… How can you not get lost in them? For a moment, we stare at each other as if nothing was surrounding us anymore. I want to get closer to him. I want to know him a little more than I already do. You can't imagine how strong the feeling is… But all of this is so scary. I notice Phil's eyes falling on my lips a few times, desire seen behind them. He is as eager as last night. Without controlling it, I smile at the boy before breaking our look. And back to reality… How can a simple look be so intense? Biting lightly on my lower lip, I feel some heat on my face.

- You're so cute, MC, he tells me with a smile, his voice sounding so… Deep and lovely. I feel myself blushing a little more to the sound of his words.

- And you're a little Devil because you do see that you're making me nervous, I tell him with a chuckle as I push him playfully. Phil laughs along with me before he grabs my hand in his. Oh… My body tenses up due to the surprise and the nervousness he is giving me. But it soon relaxes under his comforting hold. I look down at our hands loving the feeling of being held. Not alone. His hand is so soft and warm. I slowly move my hand and intertwin my fingers with his. Phil lets me do and actually holds it back with a firm, but gentle tight. It's so comforting. I look back up at him and see that the man has been staring at me for a moment actually.

- I do. But blush looks good on you, he suddenly tells me, commenting my previous sentence. Oh come on… How did my heart not give up yet? The two of us smile at each other, sparks certainly illuminating my eyes. I don’t need to see my reflection to know it… This feeling of happiness is enough to say how I feel about him. It’s actually betraying me...

- Hey, Phil, I suddenly hear an unfamiliar voice which gets me out of my thoughts. What…? I retrieve my hand from Phil’s and look at where the voice came from. A blonde is approaching us. Oh… I’ve seen her at the Aurora before. She was “close” with Phil usually. Didn't expect to see you out of your bar, she tells him with a flirtatious look. Right...

- Hey, Lola, I have a life too outside the bar, he responds to the girl, sounding just as annoyed as when Jessy was here. Actually, he sounded more than annoyed. But I can’t describe this feeling...

- Yeah, apparently, she tells him as she looks at him up and down with hungry eyes. Oh please… I look away, staying quiet. What are you doing here anyway? She asks him, putting her hands in her back jean pockets, winding-up. Like it’s not already obvious what you’re trying to do...

- I'm with a good friend, answers, Phil, not revealing anything about this lunch. Right… It’s better this way. Reluctantly, I look up at the girl and give her a small smile. The girl looks at me up and down, clearly judging or being bothered by my presence.

- Right... She says before looking back at Phil and smiles at him. Maybe I should go… I feel like I'm being too much here right now. Can I see you, tonight? I need a little distraction and I'm sure you do too, she asks and tells him with that same flirtatious tone.

- No. I'd rather not, responds, Phil, not even taking time to think of the answer.

- Oh come on, tell me you don't need to relax a little bit. I'm sure the last few days must have been stressful. I could help you with that, she replies with the same annoying flirtatious tone while biting her lower lip and twerking some of her hair with her finger. And Phil liked that…?

- No, it was pretty calm, he tells her, shaking his head lightly. My absolutely not confident self kicks in again… Is he telling her "no" because he knows I want to hear this? Is he doing it because he really doesn't want anything with her? Or will he contact her right after I go back to work? Is it just a play from him? I look away upset and thoughtful. It was going so well...

- Fine, as you want. You know my number if you change your mind, she tells him, sounding disappointed at first but quickly uses that annoying voice and tone again. Even better… Of course he has her number… Well, he can do whatever he wants. We're nothing technically. Just friends. And I'm not jealous of this girl. I just don't like it… The girl leaves us, swaying her hips. Oh God… seriously? Watch where you're going instead...

- I'm sorry… apologizes to me, Phil. I look up at him, disappointed and… I guess, hurt. I'm not disappointed by him. I guess I just don't understand why I didn't see it coming...

- No, it's fine, I say standing up from the bench. I mean, you're mister popular-with-women and it's obvious we couldn't avoid this… I say with a serious tone, a point of jealousy in my voice. I think it's the first time I ever hear this emotion in my own voice. I mean… I'm not jealous… am I? Well… I guess I am...

- No, MC, I'm serious. I don't… He quickly tells me, interrupting me while standing up from the bench as well.

- MC! I suddenly hear someone calling my name. Really? We can't be alone for 30 seconds? I turn around and see Angie approaching rapidly. Oh… I know we're next to the restaurant but why is she here? She should be working... Sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to tell you that you have 2 minutes left before the boss comes to look for you. I'm kind of keeping him in my sight so he doesn't come yelling unnecessary at you again, she tells me seriously, having my back. Thank God for having her as my colleague! She actually saved me from two situations… My boss and Phil's...

- Thanks, Angie, I thank my friend. The girl nods before turning around and starting to run toward the restaurant. I face Phil again, watching the boy looking at me with a small frown. He looks… A little nervous? Disappointed? I have to go, Phil. Sorry, I tell him while shaking my head lightly. Thanks for lunch, I give him a quick and very small smile. I turn around, not waiting for his answer and start to walk toward my work place.

- Will you call me? He asks me, coming after me. I stop and turn around again. Once you're out of work, will you call me? I think we need to discuss what happened, he tells me with a surprisingly pleading tone. Hum… Please, MC, he pleads me all of a sudden. I stare at him a little moment, actually surprised by his tone… Of his emotions. I'm lost… I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Maybe the lunch wasn't right after all? Or was it? So much happened in half an hour...

- Maybe... See you, Phil, I reply with a small nod. Phil lightly nods back to me all while he looks down. He’s... Hurt? It’s actually weird to see this expression on his face...

Without another word, I turn around and walk back to the restaurant before my boss comes looking for me. I already don't know what's going to happen since Phil "argued" with him…

My afternoon passes slowly… Slower than this morning. And just like my boss said, I couldn’t leave work before 6pm… Anyway, I’ve done my day, that’s the most important thing. I mean… One of the most. I wanted to go to my mother’s to bring her the little surprise and to spend some time with her. I wanted to see her. It’s been hard lately for the both of us. I need my mom just as much as she probably needs me. When I reached her front door, I knocked on it, but nobody answered. I knocked again, but still, nobody answered. I took my phone out and only noticed then that my mother had contacted me. Why didn't I look at my phone first…?

- “Hey, baby. I’m going to go see Sarah around 5:30pm so I don’t think I’ll be home when you’ll come see me. I’m sorry, MC.” I read her first message. Oh, she’s not home... “Jessica came to see me this afternoon. You told her to come, didn’t you? Well, I’m glad you did, baby. It felt really nice to see a familiar face and to talk about everything and anything other than the situation we are living currently. Thanks, baby.” I read her second message which brought a soft smile on my face. She’s still sad, I can tell, but she seems to have also realized that life isn’t done for her. My uncle is gone, but not us. We still have to live. That’s what Uncle Alex would want us to do anyway… I know it. I crack a small smile again despite the sad frown. Tomorrow is going to be another long and emotional day… I let my little surprise for mom in front of her front door and walk back home. We live ten minutes from each other’s house. I don’t need my car…

Three hours have passed and I am sitting on the floor of my living-room. A piece of paper is set before me, I am holding a pencil and the TV is on. However, I am not watching it. I only have it on to have some noise in the background. The night has fallen and a small warm light is illuminating the living-room. I am preparing my speech for tomorrow. I’ve been trying to write it for… For a good hour and half now. I have so much to say… And yet, I can’t find a way to say them. It’s hard to find the right words. I try. I wrote a dozen drafts already but all of them sucked. It’s so hard to say how I feel. I don’t open up like this easily. And it’s hard to recount a memory when I know that… It just won’t ever happen again. Not with Uncle Alex at least… I had so many good family moments with him and mom. Vacances… Festivals… When I graduated… My birthdays and Christmases… So many good and memorable moments. I think what blocks me is that, no matter how I try to put it in words, there's just not this magic or this thing that made this moment amazing for me. I just want it to be perfect…

Suddenly, I hear my cell phone buzzing. I gasp as I get out of my thoughts. I wasn’t ready to hear it buzzing… I look at the I.D. caller before answering the call.

- Hey… I say to my best friend. I sounded tireder than I thought… What time is it anyway?

- What did you do or say to my brother? She asks me with a confused tone, actually interrupting me. Huh? What is she talking about?

- Wh... I... I'm sorry, I don't follow, I respond to Jessy with a confused tone. I put the pencil down and lean back to lay against the sofa. I look up at the ceiling, frowning confused. Why is she asking me what I’ve done to Phil? What does she mean by that?

- Phil. Did you say or do something to him? She asks me again, reformulating her question. She sounded just as confused as before. And not upset.

- Why would I have done something to Phil? I ask her back, not answering her question. I mean… Phil is certainly the last person I would hurt… I know I left him kind of on a disappointed note, but… I had to go back to work anyway.

- MC, he told me, she says with a slightly annoyed tone. Though, it wasn’t an annoyed tone to tell me I am bothering her, it was more in a way saying “I know, just spill it out”. He did…? What?

- About the lunch? I ask with an unsure tone. Yet, a point of sorry is heard in my voice as I know that I’ve hidden this from her. And I hate it to have hidden something like this from my best friend… We usually say everything to each other.

- About everything, she responds. Oh… Well, there’s no need for an explanation then… I guess... I've never seen Phil like this for a girl before. I almost didn’t believe him when he told me, she tells me, still sounding like she doesn’t believe what he… Did or said to her. He's really trying, you know? She suddenly tells me. Oh… Trying? I mean, it's true that he did put in some effort for lunch earlier today and he did reject the girl… Lola...

- I'm supposed to call him, I just… I admit to my best friend before pausing. I didn't forget to call Phil. I’m going to call him. I don't hold grudges and I don't dwell on a situation that didn't turn out the way I would have liked. I’m not like that. I just wanted to do the speech first... I am writing what I want to say to my uncle for his funeral tomorrow morning, I admit to Jessy as I stare blankly at the white paper in front of me.

- Oh, MC, I'm so sorry. I thought... You didn't reject Phil? She apologizes to me before a brief pause takes place. Then, she asks me a question, sounding confused. Reject? Now I am the one being confused.

- Reject? How can I reject your brother? He never asked anything, I ask her before stating a fact. I mean, shouldn't I be the one who thought I would get rejected?

- That idiot, I hear her mumbling with a disbelieving tone before sighing.

- I will call him. I just need to finish this first, I tell her my plan sincerely and seriously.

- He told me about Lola, too, she tells me. Oh God… Please, don't mention her. He told me what she said and the way she looked at you. He didn't like it. He hated that she looked at you as if you were a cockroach ready to be smashed and how she talked to him before you. He doesn't want you to think what's not true, she explains to me seriously. She's having her brother's back… It’s not surprising. That’s actually good that she’s having his back. But... How much did he tell her?

- And what's not true? I ask her. He's a womanizer. He's good looking. He owns a bar. He likes girls. That's his nature to run after them, I reply to Jessy, feeling so unsure about myself. Wait… Did I really just tell her that her brother is good looking…?

- MC... She calls me gently as I hear lightly sighing. He rejected her for you. He even deleted her number from his phone. Don't you see what this means? She admits and asks me. I look down with a light frown. He did this? I think it's the first time he actually comes to see me at work because he needs to talk, she says with seriousness, a point of disbelief heard in her voice. Work? Wasn't she with mom? She must have gone back to work after...

- “Comes”? As calling? I question her, unsure.

- “Comes” as walking inside Richy's garage, she corrects me. Oh… It's true that I've never seen Phil going to Richy's garage except for his car, maybe? I'm not even sure about that...

- Phil likes me like... A potential boyfriend would like his potential girlfriend? I mean... Not like he likes Lola? I demand her with a slight shy and confused tone. Yet, some hope in my voice. I hear Jessy softly giggling.

- Phil is Phil. He has his way to do things, which aren’t always the best, and his past. But I can tell you he isn't playing with you. I'd be the first one to yell at him for hurting you, she tells me seriously. She's the best! Wait… But I would never let her choose between Phil and I if things go wrong. I would rather want her to side with her brother than with me. Their siblings bond is much more important. Even though she means everything to me as my best friend. Anyway, there's still something off...

- Wait... You're not mad? I demand her with surprise. I mean, I was expecting her to kind of yell at me for not telling her the whole thing with Phil. Or to just yell at me for having lunch with her brother and maybe more… If it ever happens...

- Why would I be? She asks me back, confused and surprised by my question.

- You're my best friend and he's your brother. Isn't it weird to you? I remind her and ask her with a confused tone. I'm just really surprised...

- Well, I’m definitely caught between two stools but, if you two like each other I can't stop that, she replies sincerely which makes me smile. Why can't I control myself?! I keep smiling crazily when something involves Phil and I. I must be so obvious how I feel for him... I feel my cheeks slightly burning again. It's awful how I can blush so easily with that guy... He was right, it's cute how you blush when someone mentions you both, I hear Jessy saying with a playful tone. What…?

- How do you know I'm blushing? I ask her with a surprised tone as I widen my eyes.

- I didn't but now I do, she says as I hear her laughing. She tricked me… I laugh along with her, amused by how much she knows me. She doesn’t even need to see me anymore to know my facial expression. Anyway, I'm not going to get anything done right now… Maybe I should call Phil first and then get to my speech.

- Thanks, Jessy. I think I'm going to call Phil now, I tell her gently as I keep a small smile on my face.

- Okay. I'll go then. But don't tell him I called to tell you all of this, okay? She asks me with a giggle. Oh, she wasn’t supposed to tell me? The little Devil… I chuckle at her comment.

- Of course, I agree with her. Oh wait! I suddenly stopped her before she could hang up. Thanks again. For my mother this time. She told me that she was going to see her best friend. I'm sure your talk must have helped her realize that things are still going on and that it is just a hard moment to pass, I thank and say with sincerity to my best friend, holding the phone before my mouth as I put her on speaker.

- No problem, she replies with her usual cheerful tone. Oh, before I forget, I'll need your help tomorrow night, she tells me rapidly, sounding excited this time. Just in time… I was about to hang up… Let me guess...

- For your dress as the birthday girl? I demand her even though I already know the answer. I smirk.

- Exactly! She exclaims while giggling.

- Of course. Can you come to my place though? Tomorrow is another long day for me and… I ask with an unsure tone before trying to give her an explanation.

- No need to explain. I'll be here at 7:30p.m., is that alright for you? She responds and asks me.

- Perfect! Thanks Jessy. For everything, I thank my best friend truthfully. I hear her giggling cheerfully as usual before we say our goodbye and hang up.

My head is just so full of thoughts right now… With being concerned for my mother even though she is dealing with the loss of her brother at her pace, dealing with the loss of my uncle at my own pace as well, thinking about Phil, thinking about my stressful job, or more about how much money my boss owes me for cutting my pay so many times, thinking about all the work I have to get done for college… There’s just so much at once. I feel like I haven’t been resting for weeks… Why is it so complicated? Everything seems simple when I’m with Phil though… His calm behavior is just so relaxing and just his presence in general makes you feel comfortable and safe and… Good. Jessy is right, I should call him. What else do I have to do anyway? And let’s not lie to myself, I’m dying to call him to hear the sound of his voice...