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bnhayyy · 3 years

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Burning In Carolina

Wordcount: 3.9k

Ao3 Link: Click

Notes: I wrote this fic for @bnhatraumazine ! Leftover sales are currently open, so go check them out! And if you enjoyed the fic, maybe consider buying me a Ko-Fi? I do all my best writing when properly caffinated!

Summary: Despite the success of the initial interrogation, further attempts to pry information or recognition out of the villain known as Kurogiri prove fruitless. Aizawa keeps trying anyway.

It was possible to miss someone to the point of physical pain. This was a truth that Aizawa had learned long ago.

The pain never left him—not completely. It threatened to consume him. But he did not curl up and cease to function, no matter how tempting it was at first. Instead, he forced himself forward, even as that pain followed his every step, echoing in his actions, his appearance, his demeanor. It molded who he was. And, eventually, it became a part of him. Eventually, he reached a point where he could sometimes forget that the ache in his chest, the bleakness that coated the world, the empty space in the fabric of his life was something born of loss and not just the way things were. He didn't remember it unless he was actively thinking about it. For the most part, he tried not to think about it.

Then everything changed. There was a call from Tartarus, a horrible revelation, and suddenly he had no choice but to think about the things that made him who he was. The person who made him who he was. The one who would have been ten times the hero he could ever be.

It was one thing to be haunted by the past. It was another entirely to try and bring it back to life.

Aizawa slid into the cold metal chair. He was familiar with the ache it sent up his spine by now. In a different situation, he would slump forward to provide it with some relief, but his muscles were too tense for him to slouch even if he wanted to. In contrast, the figure on the other side of the glass didn't show any tension at all. He seemed to rest easily in his restraints, eerie yellow eyes staring unwaveringly at Aizawa.

His mouth felt dry. Only seconds in the room and he already felt as if a lump had formed in his throat. Yet when he pushed himself to speak, he took care to ensure that his voice would be calm and steady. Ideally, he would be able to keep it that way this time.

"Kurogiri," he said. The name was a lie. Even so, he did not let himself say the one that he wanted to—not yet.

"Eraserhead," the prisoner returned. There was a slight shift in the black mist around his head. With it came a hitch in Aizawa's heart, but no, it must have just been an indication of movement. Unsurprising. The miasma of darkness that composed Kurogiri had not once parted since that first fateful meeting.

There was a moment in which neither of them spoke. Then, before Aizawa could muster himself to continue the conversation, Kurogiri asked, "Do you have any news regarding Shigaraki Tomura?"

This question again. It was always one of the first things he asked. Distantly, he supposed he could understand, but that didn't erase the wrongness of it. He never should have even known Shigaraki, let alone been programmed to care for him. Maybe even come to genuinely care about him. But he did. And that meant Aizawa had to answer the question, over and over again. He could say something that might stop him from asking again. He could tell him the truth: there hasn't been any news on him in months.

He wouldn't say that. Partially because he wasn't supposed to. Partially because...

He wouldn't say that.

The villain patiently waited for his response. Aizawa sighed. "No," he said.

There was another minute shift in his mist. Another moment that gave Aizawa pause even though he shouldn't. A soft 'hm' reached his ears, only just managing to penetrate the glass even with the speakers installed on either side of the interrogation room.

"Why are you here, then?" the villain asked. "You must know by now that I won't give you any information."

Aizawa's hand twitched, a small, unintentional spasm that came in time with the phantom compression of his chest. You already did, he didn't say. We're investigating the hospital. Similarly, he didn't give in to the burning behind his eyes that urged him to point out, I came anyway. You would have. Instead, his lips thinned as he tried to find the right words. Again, the captive waited patiently. So silent in his patience, so unlike the energetic chatter that once filled the air, ready to offer a push when it was needed and content to just be there when it wasn't.

"What do you think?" Aizawa slowly asked.

The man behind the glass gave a tired sigh. "Aren't my insights trivial in this situation? The most the musings of a prisoner can offer is more ammo for their captors, and we have established that you will not be getting that." He said one thing, but after a few heartbeats with no response, he sighed and added, "Perhaps it is some misguided sense of heroic perseverance."

There was no pain like losing someone you held dear. Except, perhaps, mourning them when they were right across from you.

Aizawa felt something sinking in his chest, like blood from an internal injury. Except blood was never so cold. "Oboro..." he murmured.

"I do not know who that is," the prisoner responded. "I am Kurogiri, the caretaker of—"

"Shigaraki Tomura," Aizawa muttered in time with the other speaker. He knew this song and dance. But he also knew, he knew, that there were more steps than this. He dropped his gaze down to his hands for a moment. When he raised it back up, something was burning behind his eyes. Maybe passion, maybe desperation, he didn't know. Whatever it was, it gave him the power to force out words that, while true (always true), threatened to get lodged in his throat. "I'm here because I am your friend."

They had all been friends once, him and Oboro and Hizashi and Kayama. And now…

Black mist writhed and twisted, agitated, but didn't dissipate. "I am a villain."

"No," Aizawa asserted, "you aren't." You are a victim.

"You appear confused. I am Kurogiri of the League of Villains. I—"

And so it continued. Perhaps he should have been more forceful, broken down like he had the first time. However, even if he got through to him for a moment, it was impossible to have a conversation when the other party was unconscious. And if it caused any permanent damage... no. There was merit in trying a gradual approach.

When he made his departure after ten more minutes of fruitless attempts at conversation, his thoughts drifted back toward what the prisoner had said. Heroic perseverance, huh? In different circumstances, he might have chuckled at the irony of it. If he had any heroic sense of perseverance, it was only because he had learned it from Oboro.

And look at how that had worked out for him.

The fruitless visit echoed in his dreams for the next several nights.

Aizawa followed Hizashi toward the interrogation room at a slower pace than the Voice Hero. He was meant to be moving slowly because he was calm and steady. However, the way Hizashi's eyes flickered toward him as they came upon the interrogation room told him that he had noticed the extra drag to his feet, as if metal chains had been wrapped around his ankles to make every step that much harder.

With the door to the interrogation room only a few steps away, Hizashi came to a sudden halt and swung around to face him. Aizawa withheld a sigh. It wasn't hard to tell what was going through his mind and he had hoped to avoid something like this. No such luck.

"Hey, man," Hizashi began, "you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

Aizawa pursed his lips in an attempt to stop a more active frown. "I know," he said.

Hizashi shook his head. "No, really." His voice was low, by his standards, but it grew a little higher with every syllable that left his lips. "This might not go well, and—"

"Hizashi," Aizawa cut in. "I'm fine." It was a blatant lie. As much as he might want to think that this situation hadn't emotionally compromised him, they both remembered their last visit. He'd had more time to process it, but that didn't mean that a fresh reminder wouldn't hurt. Hell, Hizashi probably didn't even need it as a frame of reference. He knew how close Oboro and Shouta had been. He knew how much he meant to him. There was no way he could see him without it feeling like a knife being driven into a wound that hadn't had the chance to heal. It simply wasn't possible.

At the end of the day, it didn't matter that it hurt to see what was left of Oboro. He wasn't going to abandon him again.

When Hizashi began to open his mouth, Aizawa shot a glance at the guard standing uneasily a few feet behind them. Hizashi followed his gaze and tightened his jaw. His gaze bounced between the two for a moment before settling back on Aizawa. He took advantage of the temporary silence to remind him, "I saw him alone last time and was fine."

Hizashi snorted, sharp and abrupt, before lowering his voice to a much lower tone. "You shouldn't have done that in the first place."

"I can make my own decisions." Even as he spoke, he was aware of the almost defensive edge that had entered his tone and he hated it. There was no reason for him to be defending his choices. It wasn't something that needed to be defended, nor would his words do anything to put his overly worried friend at ease.

"I know," Hizashi said. "Believe me, Shouta, I know. But..." His fist clenched as he floundered for words, a mix of desperation and dismay etched upon his face. "You shouldn't need to go through that alone!" he exploded. It sounded like trying to keep his voice from escalating into a shout was causing him physical pain. His voice fell lowered further and the pained air grew even worse, although Aizawa got the distinct impression that it wasn't from trying to control his volume this time. "You don't need to go through it alone."

Once again, Aizawa simply said, "I know." Oboro's presumed death had not affected him alone. Hizashi and Kayama had been Oboro's friends as well; he was not alone in this. Yet taking the time to visit Tartarus on his own was... something he had to do.

Just because Hizashi had done a better job of holding himself together didn't mean that Aizawa couldn't tell just how much the situation was hurting him. The thought made him examine his friend a little closer. He took in the frayed edges of the spikes of his hair, how unnaturally tight his jaw was even when held loosely, the bluish-black marks of bags forming under his eyes and the strain around their edges.

A pang of guilt echoed in his chest. He wouldn't cut off the arms of his friends just so he could hold their hands whenever it was time to confront the brutal truth. Voice low enough that it hardly carried at all, he said, "You don't have to do this either." He knew just how useless the offer would be, but he had to say it anyway. Aizawa hadn't spent the last fifteen years making his friends carry his weight. He wasn't about to start now.

Hizashi laughed, the sound utterly humorless for all that it was bright. "Don't act like you're okay and then start fretting over me," he chided. He managed to infuse a degree of lightness back into his voice despite the weight of the strain that could be heard lurking just below the surface. He really was an incredible actor.

They fell back into their previous actions as if time had merely stalled for a bit. The guard hurried forward to unlock the door as Hizashi closed the distance between himself and it, his eagerness to escape that moment the only real sign that their conversation had even happened.

"Hey, bud," Hizashi called as he swung the door open. He entered the room with all of his usual swagger and dramatic flare, Aizawa slinking in behind him.

The villain behind the glass wall didn't so much as blink. "We are not friends," he pointed out, his voice as impassive as usual. "Nonetheless, I must ask: do you bring news of Shigaraki Tomura?"

And so, the tone of their meeting was set.

Despite how much it must have worn at him, Hizashi spent the entire time trying to remain bright and energetic. It made Aizawa wonder if he was acting that way in an attempt to remind him of old times, of the hyperactive teenager Oboro used to be friends with. If he was, he wasn't having any success. The overt reminders he tried to sprinkle in didn't have any effect either. No wavering, no hesitance, no sign of Oboro —only confusion and dismissal.

With every passing second, the barely visible weight pressing down on Hizashi grew worse.

With every instant where something could have happened and nothing did, Aizawa felt his heart sink lower and lower.

And he found himself wondering if they were only moving backwards.

The next week saw Aizawa visit with Kayama. They spent an hour in that interrogation room, spoke new words, but ultimately found themselves repeating the steps to the same painful dance. Even when Kayama pulled out a reminder that she'd hoped would be a trump card - the cat that had helped solidify their friendship - they found themselves unable to change the routine.

Aizawa had made a point of maintaining his composure during the fruitless meeting. He liked to think that he was getting better at it. However, upon stepping outside the room, he couldn't keep his shoulders from drooping. A soft thud made him glance to the side, where Kayama leaned heavily against the wall. She cradled Sushi's cat carrier close to her chest, causing its occupant to let out a surprised mew. He noticed the way her fingers slotted through the mesh in the front. It was a small detail, but one that made the motion resemble a hug more than an attempt to use the feline as a shield.

If he were a better friend, perhaps Aizawa would have hugged her himself. As it was, he just watched with an uncomfortable lump in his throat. His concern was marred by the cruel gratitude that he wasn't the only one who couldn't completely hide his fractures.

Haunting silence floated between them for well over a moment. Some errant thought eventually drove Kayama to hunch her shoulders in on herself. It made her look so much smaller than she was, so unlike herself. (Like she had on that day.)

Aizawa cleared his throat.

Kayama looked up, a smile as delicate and deceiving as spider-silk weaving across her lips. She stayed slumped against the wall as she said, "It's... a lot."

"I know," Aizawa said. Even if he wished he didn't.

Kayama let out a gusty sigh. "Do you think he'll...?"

Aizawa's gaze dropped to the floor. Something in his chest clenched, froze, and began to crumble, flecks of stone breaking away from an already-tarnished whole. The flecks morphed into a tingling numbness that ran down his arms and legs, settling into his fingers and toes.

If she had asked him after that first meeting, he would have said 'yes', that they would make him remember, cling to those lingering shards of Oboro and put him back together. Now...

"I don't know," he croaked.

He missed his best friend. He missed his best friend and had gotten used to it. But the discovery of the warp gate's identity had made him see echoes in the care he showed for Shigaraki. He was seemingly indifferent to everything else, and the contrast brought the old hurt back into searing definition. The echoes, that glimpse he had actually managed to catch of Oboro, it had ignited a damning spark of hope, and maybe that hope was still rattling around in the back of his mind. But...

The quiet that had begun to envelop them once more was broken by Kayama saying, "We need to keep trying."

Aizawa thought about the continued questions as to Shigaraki's well-being. Of the subtle wisps of annoyance that sometimes leaked into Kurogiri's voice at his questions. His confusion over his continued visits.

"Yeah," Aizawa murmured.

Truly, the worst thing about hope was feeling yourself start to lose it.

The end of the school day had brought with it another solo visit to Tartarus.

Another pointless visit.

Aizawa held back a heavy sigh as he stepped into his apartment. The television could be heard faintly echoing down the hall. He allowed himself to close his eyes for half a second before strapping his usual neutral expression into place and striding into the living area, where he could see a head of blonde hair peeking up over the top of the couch. Hearing his approach, Mirio turned to look at him. There was the gentle rustling of blankets and squeaking of couch springs, then Eri's head peeked up beside him, her hands braced on the back of the couch as she leaned against it.

"You're back!" she cried.

"I am," Aizawa confirmed. To Mirio, he asked, "Did everything go well?"

"Of course!" Mirio said. He stood up and made his way to Aizawa, only to, as always, decline the offer of payment.

"You don't need to pay me to babysit, sir! Spending time with Eri is hardly a chore."

Aizawa tried not to let himself think of who Mirio reminded him of. (After all, Aizawa had seen Kurogiri only moments ago and he hadn't reminded him of the boy he once knew much at all.)

"If you're certain," Aizawa relented.

From there, it was a simple matter of Mirio saying goodbye to Eri and heading home. He was a kind boy who had sacrificed and suffered much, one whose presence Eri enjoyed. Nonetheless, he found the tenseness of his shoulders lessening once the boy closed the door. He allowed himself to sigh, too softly to be heard, and turned around.

He was greeted by the sight of Eri standing in front of the doorway, eyes wide and face creased in concern. His heart dropped into his stomach at the sight. However, before he could say anything, the little girl blurted out, "What's wrong?"

Aizawa felt his brows furrow. "I'm not sure what you mean," he said, slowly crouching down to her level as he spoke.

"You keep coming home sad," Eri said. She took a few cautious steps forward, paused for a second, then walked the rest of the way. Aizawa remained still as she reached out to place a gentle hand on his cheek. "It's not every day, but sometimes you come home really tired and sad. You don't say anything, but... I notice it. It's like..." Eri glanced down and nibbled on her lower lip. "It's like you forget how to smile," she finished, the words barely more than a whisper.

Somehow, Aizawa's heart managed to sink further. It was accompanied by cold tendrils of guilt squeezing at his chest. He had thought he was doing a decent job of hiding his emotional distress from Eri. A foolish assumption to make. Children, for all of their naivety, were not stupid, and Eri in particular was a very empathetic girl—especially when it came to loss. He should have known that he would have to try a lot harder if he truly wished to hide the situation from a child so familiar with things such as this.

"I'm sorry," Aizawa said. "I didn't mean to worry you." He lifted his arms up and, after a moment of hesitation, Eri dove in for a hug.

"Where have you been going?" she mumbled into his chest.

Aizawa shuttered his eyes for a second. There would be no escaping this conversation, it seemed. "Let's talk in the living room."

"I've been visiting... a friend."

Once again, Aizawa walked into the interrogation room alone. He sat down in the uncomfortable chair and looked directly into the luminescent yellow eyes on the other side of the glass.

"And it made you sad?"

“Eraserhead,” Kurogiri greeted. “I don’t suppose you bring news of Shigaraki Tomura this time ?”

"Yeah. You see, he was a hero. But a mission went wrong and he was... hurt. Really badly."

“I don’t,” Aizawa confirmed. “And I’m not looking for information, either.��

"Like Mirio?"

The captive made a noise that came surprisingly close to a scoff. “In that case, you have a peculiar way of spending your time.”

"...Sort of. But in a different way. And... he doesn't seem like he's been getting better. We don't know if he will."

A corner of Aizawa’s lips twitched up into the faintest of smiles. “Perhaps,” he acquiesced. “How have you been?”

"Oh. ...Mr. Aizawa, have... have I been getting better?"

Aizawa would not claim to be an expert at reading his friend’s altered features, but he could have sworn he caught a hint of surprise at the question. “I am a captive,” Kurogiri said.

"Eri. It is truly incredible how much you've healed since I met you, and I could not be more proud of you."

“I know, but you must do something to pass the time,” Aizawa pressed.

"But it's taking so long."

In some ways, the visit played out the same way as the others. In other ways, it didn’t. Kurogiri didn’t spontaneously profess to remember his life as Shirakumo Oboro or give new information about the League of Villains. At the same time, Aizawa didn’t press him to. They simply… talked. And once an hour had passed, Aizawa sighed, “It’s time for me to go.”

"You can't force recovery, Eri. You went through a lot and need to get better at a pace that's right for you."

Kurogiri nodded placidly. “Of course.” He hesitated for a moment, or at least, the way his mist momentarily stilled made it seem as if he were hesitating. “I suppose I will be seeing you again soon?” he eventually asked. The first time he had said anything of the sort.

"But what if it takes too long?"

Something in Aizawa’s chest flickered and then flared. Hope, its flame reignited by a passing breeze. “You will,” he confirmed, swallowing down every other word threatening to fight its way past his lips. There would be time.

“It won’t.”

Maybe it was foolish to hope. Maybe it wasn’t. What mattered was that Aizawa was willing to take that risk, just like Oboro would have for him.

“How do you know?”

Kurogiri nodded again, probably in dismissal. Aizawa stood up to leave. However, before approaching the door, he looked the warp gate in the eyes once more. And, just for a second, he could have sworn he caught a flicker of blue. “I’m not giving up on you, Oboro.”

"Because no matter how long it takes, I'll wait for you."

Kurogiri watched the pro hero depart with a placid gaze. Yet, spurred on by an undefined haze pulsating through his heart and head, as ShoutaEraserhead walked through the door, he whispered, “I know.”

#bnha #my hero academia #bnha manga spoilers #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #shirakumo oboro #kurogiri #erasercloud #(if you squint)#bnha fanfiction #bnha fic #my fic #my writing #Bnha spoilers

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malmo777-blog · 7 years

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About Me

Haven’t done one of these since I was fourteen. It’s time.

1. What is your full name? Mallory Cook Fraser

2. What is your nickname? Malmo, but I try to get people to call me McFraser. No one does.

3. What is your zodiac sign? Libra. Fun fact- I’m attracted to Tauruses, always have been, apparently always will be.

4. What is your favorite book series? Obviously Harry Potter is dope as fuck but I read these Stephanie Perkins books and fell in love.

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? No aliens, although something is out there that moves, it just isn’t gonna follow our earth definition of “life”. Ghosts- not typically. I believe in energy, and energy can possess things.

6. Who is your favorite author? I love Hemingway, Stephanie Perkins, and Sarah Dessen can be great if you’re in the mood. John Green is running out of steam at this point although he used to be on the list.

7. What is your favorite radio station? I love so many! Either 95.7 or 92.5 (both NH radio)

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Cherry

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? Wicked or dooooooope.

10. What is your current favorite song? Today it was Cinderblock Garden. Lately, Undone (the sweater song)

11. What is your favorite word? Fuck.

12. What was the last song you listened to? Broadside- Coffee Talk

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? Skins really is for everybody. Or HIMYM. Although Fairy Tail is my favorite, it’s not for everyone.

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? The Little Mermaid can always perk me up.

15. Do you play video games? Not much anymore. Used to play super nintendo. Good at racing games.

16. What is your biggest fear? Being financially unstable as an adult.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’m 100000% honest all the time. I say things exactly how I see them and never leave people guessing. I don’t like to play games and waste time.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? On the flipside of that, I can’t keep my mouth shut. If something is bothering me, I wanna talk about it, even if it’s venting to another person. Which sometimes causes unwanted conflict. Not a huge deal, but I’m also super type B and I hate conflict.

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? Cats. Dogs are too in your face.

20. What is your favorite season? Springtime, spring-a-ling-a-ling time.

21. Are you in a relationship? I’m in lots of relationships, just none are romantic.

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? It was so inexpensive to be a kid.

23. Who is your best friend? Not sure if he knows it, but totally my bud Dillon. He is my mind. We don’t even have to talk to understand what’s going on.

24. What is your eye color? Blue

25. What is your hair color? Golden blonde.

26. Who is someone you love? My daddy.

27. Who is someone you trust? My best friend.

28. Who is someone you think about often? Alex Gaskarth

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? End of the semester! Woooo! And I just barely got sick the day after it closed, which is good. I get sick every year around this time, it just usually falls on midterms week, not right after. So I’m happy I missed it.

30. What is your biggest obsession? My book series.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Roccos Modern Life

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Obviously my best friend.

33. Are you superstitious? Only after one of my exes passed away. Since he did, things are freaky sometimes. But never scary. It’s always good energy.

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators. Potatoes. Mold.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? In front.

36. What is your favorite hobby? Writing!

37. What was the last book you read? This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen. Finished it two days ago.

38. What was the last movie you watched? Road Trip. I love raunchy comedies.

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? Bass clarinet, clarinet, guitar, a lil piano, a lil sax, and vox.

40. What is your favorite animal? Loke ;)

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? Oooo haven’t been on here enough to decide.

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Ability to call spirits and bond with them.

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? Lying in bed right before sleep, listening to tunes.

44. What makes you smile? Going to work.

45. What sports do you play, if any? Marching band.

46. What is your favorite drink? There’s this orange mango peach shit from market basket that’s phenomenal. Oh, alcoholic? Ahh, umm, Smirnoff ice?

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? Christmas. Cards, you know.

48. Are you afraid of heights? Used to not be but now? Abso-fuckin-lutley.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? Mixed silverware in the dishwasher.

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Try 12.

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? I am vegan, but not super duper strict raw vegan or that shit. Just nothing where the ingredients state meat, eggs, or milk.

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? An actress or a pop star.

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Fiore

54. What is something you worry about? Money, clearly.

55. Are you scared of the dark? No. I’ve been living in the woods long enough to be used to it.

56. Do you like to sing? FUCK YES

57. Have you ever skipped school? One time I said I was sick so I could stay home and write Harry Potter fan fiction.

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? Fells Point, Baltimore

59. Where would you like to live? Baltimore

60. Do you have any pets? Not anymore

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Early bird!

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunrises. The signal a new chance.

63. Do you know how to drive? Very well actually.

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Headphones!

65. Have you ever had braces? Nope.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? Pop punk, 2007-2008 era

67. Who is your hero? My daddy.

68. Do you read comic books? Only Deadpool

69. What makes you the most angry? When TOP fans come into my store aND FUCKING TEAR APART THE T SHIRT WALL AHH GO BACK TO HELL YOU ANGSTY LITTLE SHITS!

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real books. The creak of the pages, the smell. All part of the experience.

71. What is your favorite subject in school? History!

72. Do you have any siblings? Four older ones. Two and two, each gender.

73. What was the last thing you bought? A new air freshener for my car. Wait, no, groceries. Some of that juice I was talking about before.

74. How tall are you? Five foot nuthin’.

75. Can you cook? Apparently I can grill, I’ve been told. I think I make BOMB pasta.

76. What are three things that you love? 1. Blink 182 2. Chipotle 3. My dad

77. What are three things that you hate? 1. Pessimists 2. The word “hate” 3. Unneccessary negativity (kinda like this question)

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? A really good mix. My anime crew is all boys, my music friends are boys, my coworkers AKA besties are all girls, and my school friends are girls.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Straight.

80. Where do you currently live? Washington, NH

81. Who was the last person you texted? My girl Colby

82. When was the last time you cried? About twenty minutes ago, watching Fairy Tail

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? I don’t watch a lot of youtubers but the one I enjoy the most is Shane.

84. Do you like to take selfies? No. But on occassion I will, just so I can do better personal branding.

85. What is your favorite app? I use wattpad more than anything.

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? With my mom? Deceptive, negative, she always needs something for nothing. With my dad, amazing. He’s my best friend, sole provider, everything. If he wasn’t my dad he’d still be my bestie because we just get each other.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? My phillipino friend Cam is phillipino, sounds mexican, and my mock accent is indian. Fuckin hilarious.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? San Diego, west coast pop punk capital.

89. What is your favorite number? 7, but 77 in sports.

90. Can you juggle? No

91. Are you religious? I love all religion and the concept but do not identify with any one.

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Space fucks me up. Ocean for sure.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? No. I may be a Gryffindor for the things I love but I am waaaaay too type b to take unneeded risk.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Nope. But caffine reacts really badly with my body.

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yup

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Nope

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? Often

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach. I can go to the forest any time; I’m bored of it.

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Just as a flower does not get to choose where it blooms, a child cannot choose their parents. It stuck with me, that my character doesn’t at all need to be attached to them. That I get to be my own person.

100. Are you a good liar? No fuckin way.

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Gryffindor!

102. Do you talk to yourself? All the time, only in the car.

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extrovert. Being surrounded by people makes me feel less lonely.

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? I keep an everyday question journal.

105. Do you believe in second chances? Only after apologies. No sorry, no chance.

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Depends on the money. Ten bucks? I’ll call that my payment for the hassle of turning it in. Lots? Nah. If I turn it in with that much, they’ll probs be grateful and gimmie some.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Absolutely. Everyone changes all the time.

108. Are you ticklish? If I say yes you’ll know my weakness. If I say no I’m a liar.

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yup. Like three times? Not sure.

110. Do you have any piercings? Belly button!

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Wooderson

112. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet. A few more months.

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Moving out and quitting Shaws. I followed my dreams all the way to Hot Topic.

114. Do you believe in karma? Not really. Coincidences are funny, but good people hardly ever get good karma, it’s usually only ever bad for bad people. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? No.

116. Do you want children? Four!

117. Who is the smartest person you know? My best friend.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? Tripping while hiking with my crush. My only recent moment.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Twice!

120. What color are most of you clothes? Maroon or green. Can’t decide.

121. Do you like adventures? Love*

122. Have you ever been on TV? Nope

123. How old are you? Seventeen without a purpose or direction.

124. What is your favorite quote? “I just wanna fuck this burrito!” - Jack Barakat

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Totally depends on the mood.

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nitacus · 7 years

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1. Your First OC ever? Oh gosh, I'm fairly sure it was a robot/cyborg girl (I think because I really liked the Androids from Dragonball Z) I annot remember her name I do remember, she had some love interest who was blond, and didn't discover what she really was for a while. Her maker was evil, I think I wrote it when I was like 8-ish ugh how embarrassing. 2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OC's? Oh gee probably Riea just because she is the oldest long term one who I've written for, and recreated and built upon many times, but it's hard to pick favourites out of them all. 3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from somebody? I genuinely don't remember ever taking on another persons character, I have made suggestions on how a person could characterise their OC better so I used the, temporarily to demonstrate but never took one on long term to keep. I would though if I thought they were salvageable, or if I felt they possessed a story inside of them waiting to be told. 4. A character you rarely talk about? Does Cyborg girl count ^^' if not, I don't really discuss the Knight Commander with people, even though he's an antagonist. Other than him, there is a blonde female who my succubus character (also female) seduced who I haven't discuss much, mainly because I haven't determined how she's going to be reintroduced yet. I might make her a witch and thus aware of her soul having been stolen. 5. If you could only make only one of your OC's popular/known, who would it be? Viseran ( my deaf/mute character) a scouting party member, from a post apocalyptic future story. 6. Two OC's of yours that look alike despite not being related? That I made similar intentionally? Or I only realised were similar later on? None spring to mind who weren't related. 7. Are your OC's part of any story, or stories? Yes, that's what my entire list of OC's consist of. 8. Do you RP as any of your OC's? No I have never RP'd before. I sort of just work through everything in my head. 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OC's to someone else? I have no idea, perhaps some old, or abandoned ones. It feels weird saying I'd give one to someone else though. 10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? Complicated how? Like their character and personality, their story and purpose, or their actual design and appearance? A) Little Empress, B) Riea, C) God knows but probably Aymia Crewe. Little empress is a succubus, on the side of evil, she is a literal empress despite others having turned it into a sort of pet name, much to her distaste, and the story follows her and she sort of ends up working for the other side. 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a 'sunshine'? Zeriste/Rabbit is the only one who springs immediately to mind. 12. Name an OC who isn't yours but you like a lot? Some of the Dragon Age OC's that people have made are super interesting. I saw a thunder god one on deviant art that was pretty cool too. 13. Do you have any troublemaker OC's? Oh yeah I've created a few. Else witch, Blade, Peydion, immediately come to mind 14. Introduce an OC with a tragic background? Aymia Crewe applies due to having become permanently stuck in a child's body of ten, even though she is like nineteen years old. A number of her childhood years were spent as a child soldier, of which she was only one, another character of mine is also a child of warfare, however refocusing on Aymia due to her being highly skilled, and being one of the longest surviving children, as well as children being more compatible than adults, with the experiments to enhance soldiers on the battlefield. Due to being one of the subjects experimented on, a side effect of that was her body ceasing to age, she also has successfully enhanced battle skills, but she kind of feels trapped in a never ending nightmare. 15. Do you like to talk about your OC's with others? I rarely talk about my writing projects unless they are finished and I am content to discuss them. 16. Which one of your OC's would be the best at Biology (school subject)? Uissade, he is driven to seek achievement and learning above all else. 17. Any OC OTP's? Of my own characters - Riea and Blade though they probably will not end up together given the significant trauma in her past, Novice Witch and the Main Character, Aleksis and Vio, Riel and Lief though sometimes it changes, in other words I have several 18. Any OC crackships? Mine or from other media because I have a lot that belong to others. Sometimes I enjoy one-shots of various interactions between my characters, even cross overs from different stories 19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why) - Riea purely because she was my first OC that I designed as an adult, with a complete story and background and she has morphed and gone through many changes over the time since I created her, so I feel that I know her best and where she is coming from during the story. 20. Do any of your OC's sing? None actually, I have yet to make a musical OC. 21. Your most artistic OC? Out the ones I've created thus far Acera fits this best of all, she's artistic, creative, addicted to bright colours, popular, and collects shiny knick-knacks. 22. Is there any OC of yours who people tend to mischaracterise? No, I don't really mind how people view or characterise my OC’s, as the only one who knows what I had in mind when I created them is myself. I am always intrigued to see how another person might view different characters. 23. Introduce OC who has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like? Riea, she's changed several times as mentioned above. 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be, and why? My former slave turned free traveller and fighter for justice, he's kind, sees the best in people and has never become bitter or angry over the hand life dealt him, I admire that. 25. The OC who resembles you the most? Auli, she has some differences from me namely her ethnicity, but she has dark hair and eyes like me, is kind but passionate and fiery whenever defending those she cares about. Also loves her family, culture, good food, and isn't afraid of expressing herself. Therefore yeah definitely Auli. 26. Have you ever had to change your OC's design, or something else about them against your will? No, I am stubborn when it comes to who I perceive a character to be, or how they firm as a complete person in my head. I take constructive criticism, and allow others to suggest things whether a flaw or a positive trait, but I know who they are overall, and I know the story they are telling, so if they need to be rebuilt, I sift through trying to identify what I need to change for it to feel right. 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song? None that I remember ever creating. 28. Your most dangerous OC? Gees, many are quite dangerous in truth, however the most dangerous character I have who isn't a straight up villain/antagonist is probably Aymia, she looks like a small child physically, but is an experienced, capable, killer, seeking a cure to her current condition, or punish those responsible, so definitely Aymia. 29. Which of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they're going? Serafien out of sheer stubbornness, Aymia, possibly Riea too seeing she can be very impulsive and isn't used to involving others in her plans or business. 30. Which of your OC's would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection? Sayah because she's always acting tougher and more aloof than she really is. Possibly also Jarei. 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their Tumblr blog would be like? Peydion would reblog the latest fashion trends, she would always be posting hair and makeup tips for others as naturally she has immaculate taste. She would post skincare products, the only other types of things she would reblog would be fundraisers, and anything for a good cause as Peydion despite being vain will always champion the causes of the underdog, she will defend the picked on, indifferent to status. Acera's Tumblr would be a crafty, artsy collage of style and colour, I feel like she would make her own fashion accessories, upload her paintings and drawings, and make eclectic music playlists and suggestions for people, I also feel like she would have sections of her page dedicated to black and white photographs to break up all of the colour every now and then, I feel she would be a sweets and caffine addict to. 32. Which of your OC's would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? I feel like Jarei, would be a matter of fact and rational protagonist, however she might be far too sensible to end up there in the first place. Therefore...I'm going to say, Iris would be unique in that type of situation. She's extremely different, spends the majority of her time amongst nature, and her powers as an empath would make the entire journey extremely interesting. 33. Your shyest OC? I can't really think of a shy character that I've written, I have expressed pain and distant characters, cautious and uncertain, bold and fiery, I've written introverts and extroverts, good and bad, jealous and vindictive, cruel even but I haven't written shy oddly. I will make that my next OC goal. Out of my characters who exist right now, I guess I would have to pick Iris or Briayla, because they are more introverted, Riea is also. 34. Do you have any twin characters? Yes three sets. Paige and Kat, another set of girl twins who are thus far unnamed still, and then there's Alex and Cole 35. Do yo have any sibling characters? Apart from the sets of twins ^^, not that I can recall. 36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends, etc)? Belongs to someone else? Like another writer with their OC? Or who the character belongs to in the story? I wouldn't say any characters belong to, or with anyone in any of my stories, they are each, their own person. But if you mean as in another writer's OC, no. 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human? Riel and Lief both count in this case, essentially both are members of a group of beings who possess roles and responsibilities on the earth, they manage a particular job in everyday like that makes society function. A civil war breaks out, Riel is attacked and almost killed, she manages to escape, but at the same time falls into the mortal realm with a tear in her spiritual essence. Each being has an emergency, corporeal body which they inhabit within the human realm, Riel ends up being trapped within hers, and they are only supposed to be used minutely therefore the reliance upon it weakens her, so she's stuck, and during the initial aftermath she doesn't remember until Lief shows up and restores her memories of this, as they were sealed along with her powers within her. They are a part of her spiritual essence, it's intended to both protect the mortal realm as well as ensure mortals never discover their existence. Other stuff happens, war is being waged by both sides, that's all I'll say. 38. Which of your OC's would be the best dancer? Serafien, Else Witch I assume given the time period both women are from. 39. Introduce any character you want. Nine has white-blonde hair in a styled ponytail, with a messy braid running through it, and red eyes due to being albino. She is scrawny, and badly scarred along her right side and hip. Nine has the ability to kill, but she needs to picture how your organs work, in order to cause your lungs to seize up, she has to know how the respiratory system works, and picture it's inner workings in her mind, only then can she disrupt or shit down how it functions. She also has the ability to increase or decrease the potency of medicinal plants, herbs poisons, and all alchemical draughts she makes, making her both a brilliant healer, or killer depending on the necessity. 40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Other than writing for them, being complimented on one or two. One time I made my sisters laugh with one of my OC's. A ghost and secretary working for a organisation of guardians, and although she is incredibly good at her job, she's of course incorporeal. Which means she cannot answer the phone, get the door, sign for packages that sort of thing, so at times she gets frustrated over it and her ghostly abilities act up, so office supplies randomly end up scattered about the lobby and that sort of thing. Also her partner as a receptionist who does answer the phones etc is a male mummy, who roller blades to work because he really enjoys human inventions, of course concerns that he might unravel means that he often puts tape on his bandages to keep them together. That sort of thing tends to make people laugh. 41. Has anyone drawn fan art of your OC's? No. 42. Which one of your OC's would be the most interested in the Greek Gods? Gaia considering her name comes directly from them, I also think she would be interested in her namesake and others among them. 43. Do you have any certain type when you create OC's? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It's time to confess. I lean mostly toward fantasy settings, I confess to liking troubled OC's, and the only physical features that I can say I lean towards is dark hair colours and bronze or tan skin colours. I try to represent as many ethnicities in my writing as possible, therefore I've made, French, English, Greek and Italian, Middle eastern mixed, Asian mixed OC's, a Hawaiian and Samoan OC, Native American, African American, Jamaican, as many as I can because I think everybody deserves representation, in stories and adventures, so it really depends on the setting I'm building, if it's a future society then I use our world ethnicities and say countries and nations have mixed and shifted etc, if it's a fantasy setting then I create and build my OC's and their ethnicities or cultures from scratch, likewise if I make a sci fi story which deals with alien races. 44. Something you like about your OC's in general? I like that they are all uniquely different, I try to explore new personalities and mindsets. 45. A character you no longer use? Well I haven't thought about cyborg girl in well over a decade but I might recreate and build her anew in a future story because I'm feeling some real nostalgia right now. 46. Has anybody ever told you that you treat your OC's badly? I would readily confess to doing so, you have to push characters to their limits, to determine what they are made of, that's how you work out who they are deep down. So yes I do think I act quite sadistically, and I'll kick them when they are down at times. 47. Has anybody ever (friendly) claimed any of your OC's as their child? No, no one has. 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure. Mayyyybe Zeriste, she's the only character I can think of who falls into the sees the best in everybody, innocent type. Every other character I've made, ever, has been more complicated and more flawed than that. Zeriste isn't an old creation though she's a relatively new OC. 49. Which one of your OC's would most likely enjoy memes? I feel like roller blading mummy would be down ^^ he likes human creations. 50. Give me the good ol' OC talk here, talk about anything you want. If you want tag your answers as #yetanotherOCmeme so I can check them out too. I don't really know what OC talk is being referred to here. All I shall say is make them as varied, flawed, and three dimensional as possible. Be brave when challenging them with a difficult situation, and never hand OC's an easy way out. They can only build character in the face of adversity.

#yetanotherocmeme #my ocs

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panarobreadcompany · 7 years

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#Bread talks #ask games

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malmo777-blog · 7 years

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I’m bored, here’s a tag

1. Coke or Pepsi: I never drink soda but Pepsi has that throwback real sugar shit, so that. 2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney bitches. 3. Coffee or tea: I don’t do either on a regular basis but caffine fucks me up. So tea. 4. Books or movies: Movies! Books bore me after a while. When I do read a book, it’s all in one sitting. Movies are shorter and have the element of music and production. 5. Windows or mac: Mac attack. 6. DC or marvel: Marvel. DC gets lazy with their writing. Superman can’t have it all, dude. 7. Xbox or PlayStation: Raised on xbox baby. Master chief right here. 8. Dragon age or mass effect: Oh. I don’t game anymore. 9. Night owl or early riser: I wake up real early, go to bed right at dusk. 10. Cards or chess: Cards. I will whoop your ass in spit. 11. Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla 12. Vans or converse: I’m a vans girl. Own both, but chucks (yes, chucks) are for really punk days. Vans are more feminine and everyday. 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: what the fuck are those 14. Fluff or angst: Fluff me up. Angst is for bratty teens. Gimmie love. 15. Beach or forest: Beach! I live in the forest, it’s not special to me anymore. Oh look, a moose. I see them like once a week. 16. Dogs or cats: Dogs can suck my ass. I love cats.

17. Clear skies or rain: Clear skies for dayzz. 18. Cooking or eating out: Eating out. I don’t hate cooking but I hate cleaning. 19. Spicy food or mild food: Spicy! I swear I was Mexican in another life. 20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: I used to say halloween but that warm fuzzy feeling of watching christmas movies with my new presents and a glass of red wine is just too good. 21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Hot! 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Supermom. Ability to support all without judgement, and guide to the right path. 23. Animation or live action: Animation!!!! I’m a disney freak! 24. Paragon or renegade: Dunno if this is a reference or something but I like the song Last Young Renegade so that. 25. Baths or showers: Such a toss up! Baths are more fun but I sweat so much my hair gets gross and then I have to shower anyway. 26. Team cap or team ironman: Captain America balances me out. Iron man and I are too alike. 27. Fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy. More colorful and natural.

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes, if so what are they:

I like lyrics. Here are some of my current faves: “We get high, we let go. We’ve got more than we know.” “I wanna live inside your mind next to your favorite songs.” I like that entire monologue from Wooderson, “You just gotta keep livin’ man, LIVIN.” And just anything that comes from my best friend, he’s a genius.

29. Youtube or Netflix: Netflix right now. Sometimes youtube. 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter, he’s got the relatable houses. 31. When do you feel accomplished: I feel like this when I post two chapters in one day. 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Space balls? 33. Paperback books or hardback books: No preference, just older the better. More creak in the spine. 34. Horror or rom-com? Rom-coms for sure. 35. To live in a world without literature or music: I couldn’t survive without either. My life’s purpose is literature, all my literature is inspired by music. All my music is inspired by my literature. Aren’t they one in the same? 36. Pastel colors or dark colors: Pastel me up bitch! 37. Tv shows or movies: Movies! Shows take too much effort. 38. City or countryside: Country of course, but I’m more suburban. Gotta be a balance. 39. If any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: I’m a lil bit Leo, loyal and fierce. But I am very, very libra. 40. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be? Don’t you fucking start. Either Futures, So Wrong It’s Right, or Don’t Panic 41. Cinema or theatre? Theaters are like old timey right? For plays? Theaters. 42. If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be? Umm I guess I would be Levy Mcgarden’s bff because I am Lucy Heartfilia 43. Smiling or smirking? smiling darlin’ 44. Are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent? Cause I want it allll, or nothing at allll. Not consistent. I am impulsive and wild. 45. Playlists or your whole library on shuffle? Gotta be playlists. My mp3 is too full. 46. Traveling or staying at home? Travel is my home. 47. Would you rather listen to only one artist for the rest of your life or read only one book for the rest of your life? One book. I practically only read my book anyway. I love music too much to do that. 48. Do you believe people can change to a point of deserving a second chance? Always. If I was the same person as I was even a year ago, I would have no friends. Everybody changes constantly. Second chances are always welcome if they come with apologies. 49. Advice to your younger self? Forgive yourself, dammit. Everyone is gonna be so hard on you already, don’t do that to yourself.

50. Sweet or Savory? Sweeeet duuude.

51. What’s your hp house? Gryffindor!

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