#i am done with whiny entitled men

[incarnateirony]

I am sobbinggggggggggggg laughing. That fuckin bitchboy cuck AMC message has caused riotous fucking laughter with any man I've mentioned it to. I think my favorite comment so far was "God DAMN, you really snapped his ass in HALF." like yeah man. Gender: male doesn't make someone a man. Gender: man can absolutely be Little Bitch Boy. I can respect your gender and still call you a little bitch boy baby child. And he did not know what to fuckin do with that.

Keep in mind, my gamer circles are not, say, LGBTQ heavy. They're not anti or whatever they're just. Dudes. Who generally do not care what anyone does with their genitals, as a default life alignment. But deadass I got told "trans guys like him are why trans guys like you get so much bullshit."

like legit I got to hear anger on my behalf, bc they deadass are like, people want to walk into this shit and do not understand the culture, but I've known you 25 years dude, you walked the walk before there was a pronoun for it or whatever the fuck" like. yea. i told him that, like maybe in your AFAB days you were used to boys bending over for you when you feel uncomfortable but we're not fuckin doing that here sweet cheeks. Last night two men were resolving a fairly identical scenario loudly outside my door and it ended in a police standoff and arrest. Stop acting hysterical because you heard a strong word. I'm not here to make you comfortable. You wanted to act big and meatshield your lying whore like the sticky theater sweeping cuck you are and play some weird manipulative gotcha bullshit. The only reason I did not call you a Little Girl is because you're the type to get hysterical about that and say someone is disrespecting your gender instead of realizing that's what a cis man would tell another cis man acting like he needs a training bra. Guys like you get your shit pushed in EVERY. DAY. And I just got like "...yeah. That. That's why trans people catch shit. Exactly that. You end up associated with bullshit from little boys that don't know how not to shit their pants when not catered to, and then they get mad you're treating them like a man, actually."

...yeah that about sums up the converation. The second I addressed him like I would any cis man he started peeing on the floor. 4 years of testosterone shots and multiple surgeries may affirm your gender but they do not, in fact, keep you from being a whiny little bitch. All the cosmetic changes in the world can not change who you are inside. And if you feel like that's a man, that's fine, but you will be treated then like any man who behaves like this. Like a whiny, demanding, entitled, oversensitive child deserving of his shit pushed in. Straight up you're the kind of person the kiwis would plot to fuck with just to watch you get shrill. Because men hate men like you. You're an embarrassment. Cis, trans, doesn't matter, but trans are the ones that are receiving focal bullshit so try to not represent us like a bunch of entitled mentally unstable people that will break if an insult variably suggests a gender if you turn the paper sideways, and maybe stop acting like we'll mentally explode looking at the wrong bathroom sign. You. You're the problem.

Like this is legit ongoing convo, now I'm back with the friends she tried to force out of my life. Go figure, they're the ones actually affirming my gender, the awful gamer bros. She didn't actually want to address the hard parts of dysphoria and it making me touch averse or address or apologize for how she antagonized it with her behaviors and complaints, so she skipped to the person a few years on it and done with surgeries to wave little pom poms and not get kicked out like the deep down ignorant transphobic whore she it. If the cuck had the FOGGIEST idea of the shit I heard from her on car rides that made me shut down he'd move out today. But he won't. Because he's a cuck.

But they're like. no, see. legit this. Online everyone thought you were a dude, the only place i ever seen anyone call you a chick was when you were in supernatural and thats because everybody in supernatural is assumed female as default. Your entire life you have emitted dude to the point that, simply by not saying a gender, everyone took you as a man, and said he, and you never blinked to correct it, because you kinda probably got it was correct, like obviously it didn't feel wrong.

yeah dude deadass when I joined spn fandom i fuckin flinched a few times at being called She, even if I wasn't full board the trans lingo bus or whatever, but then ended up like. yeah i guess that is in fact a thing? ok w/e before actually going, wait no, there's a reason I fucking hate that. It's been a reason since I was 12, or even 4. No, not in ambiguous Feelings either. In how people look, took me, received me, or even judged me; even as a toddler, WHY IS DEADNAME SO LOUD, WHY IS DEADNAME SUCH A GODDAMN BOY WHY DOES DEADNAME RUN LIKE AN OX NICOLE IS A VIBRANT GAZELLE WHY IS DEADNAME LIKE THIS. Not just whining about how someone wants to dress or whatever, even in my BODY MOTIONS, why do you walk like a man about to kick my ass. because i fucking am. By my 20s I was assigned a role in a social organization only given to men. And joined another society that is also almost male exclusive. I have run in masculine rings and been yelled at for being masc my whole life. Like, guys, I don't know how to break it to you, my neurological wiring and the way I walk has actually caused me multiple leg fractures in contrast to estrogen induced muscle and bone density. Because it's just who I fucking am. LITERALLY walk the walk, or put your little ballerina shoes on.

So it's genuinely embarrassing to watch this absolute fucking cuck make an embarrassment of trans people. my friends are right. Gaping cuckholds like you are why nobody takes us seriously. Grow a proverbial pair, or get them installed, because christ on a cracker. Don't say "I'm a man" and start screaming hysterically when you're actually treated like one acting like you deserve my respect by default while overtly defending your fucking cuckhood and grasping at illogical straws of argument to save some collapsing reality. You a bitch. Gender irrelevant.

and these friends be like. yeah. that. thats why we actually get trans shit. its cuz you. you fucking have been a man since before we had gender shit, you have always been dude, walked with dudes, like if What If God Was One Of Us was like What If Girl Was One Of Us. You know how this works, that's why women tended to lose their shit on you, because you were us. A lot of this shit is the side effect of people skipping like 30 years of cultural development and expecting culture to realign to whatever they're feeling and boy, if that's what they want, they shoulda thought real hard before becoming a man, because BRO do we got news for YOU. If we didn't have you standing here dude all we'd see is this internet garbage of rich white girls. I legit thought it was the new plastic surgery craze or some bullshit because nobody can give a straight answer or walk the walk, they want the world to bend around them.

So yeah, now they get trans is real, but assholes like him are not doing us any service in the public perception.

one of my favorite responses to this mess was when i told my other friend, also named mark like shea's cuck, about when I was like "bro it's not a coincidence I lost 100 lbs the year after leaving and she gained it" and he tried OH YEAH T WILL DO THAT, FAT REDI-- "no dude, I wasn't on it, I was just off her greasy ass. She's fucking toxic. Now go guzzle your mountain dew and shove more zebra cakes in your face like the fat fucks you are."

Mark The Grown Man: [star] [heart] I have been dropkicked. i love this

some freshly minted men are yet to learn that affirming your gender does not innately affirm your manhood

hi shea, thats my money making room. In my livingroom alone I got $25,000 in reasons you need to stick that finger up your loose giant hole. Or will in 2 months. Eat my shit. Yeah, you wish your bitch boyfriend could even masc this hard after 4 years injections and 2 surgeries, but he can't change the worthless schmuck he is no matter how many scalpels he tries to fix himself with or how much rogaine he rubs on his face for that classic White Boy Trailer Trash With Complexes Werewolf Beard. See you in 2 years of T, which despite not even getting my first of yet, I am absolutely confident I could push your man's shit in, in any possible measure already. I imagine you'll be about 600 lbs by then. Probably around when you'll be fucking mark behind his back with the like 6th loser you're trying to tee up. Maybe you'll find kevin again and mark can walk in on the half-ton clapping of walrus sex. Maybe he and I can have a good laugh about it one day.

Godddd that bitch's face when she realizes I'm gonna be running a quarter million business by a year from now. Good luck. Go eat the popcorn he brought home from the amc floors. That'll fix the self hatred and anxiety, I'm sure, you lying, malicious cunt. Abrahadabra you will NOT forget, bitch. In fact after that little bitch boy incident of his, I've made a new promise to make sure you and nobody ever does. You should have NEVER fucking sent your chud as a meat shield to try to shut me up on my own blog after you have maliciously lied for years. You will burn. Maybe just internally. Maybe just yourself. Maybe just a burn list. But damn am I good at burning it down. it's gonna happen. But consider yourself burned. How literal or emotional it is just results in how you play with life's entropy from here. Now go be shrill about threats together. There's 49 other states if you want to get shrill about safety. not like you can run from my brother, but I'm sure stealing our faces has told you he still likes you.

"u should respect women." I do. That's not a woman. That's a manipulative monster about on par with the worst villains I've ever managed to write. Goddamn cunt. You and him and all of yours lying on every available thread on the internet for 2 years nonstop any chance you get just for the sake of the malice, and what you've convinced your chumps of. I peep about her 2 years later just because I mention getting to play with my old friends she chased out and was insufferable towards to the point they voiced it like OH THANK GOD SHE'S GONE, and damn they just come squealing in with burning rubber with a cuck shield going DONT TALK ABOUT HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR lmfao sit down child. nonono NOW I'm gonna talk about her.

[llamasgotoheaven]

i wanna share a major step forward in terms of my self esteem just bc i want people to know that working on yourself through ie. therapy, solid friendships, self care, looking after yourself and looking inward does in fact work

I used to feel shame and deflect when i got compliments because of how i was raised/how shit i felt about being alive and lemme tell u 

the rush u feel when a stranger tells u ‘i think you’re very beautiful’ and you reply with ‘You wouldn’t be the first, but thank you!’ is unbelievable lol

[hakasims]

Shitty Luca Movie Recap, Episode 4

Can’t Watch Nina, Even For Luca?

Don’t Worry, Me Neither. Goodbye.

.

..

...

Ok, fine, I’ll talk about the damn thing.

So it’s a warm September night, and I’m in the mood for a Luca Marinelli feature. In my infinite wisdom I choose Nina. “It’s directed by a woman,” I reason, “and women know what’s up.” ‘What’s up’ in this particular case is code for ‘how to frame beautiful men for the female gaze’. Because women can be auteurs, too, and being an auteur means making movies about your own personal wank material.

Turns out, sometimes a woman’s wank material consists less of a gorgeous male form and more of fascist architecture. We’ll discuss the former in due time, but for now, what’s Nina even about? Well, at its core it’s a simple story about a young woman who doesn’t know what she wants, set against the backdrop of the Rome that is almost entirely empty due to most people leaving for the summer. This could have been a fairly straightforward coming-of-age film, but Nina is too indie and up its own ass for that. Literally nothing of note happens in this movie, and it’s all long static wide shots of empty streets, endless stairs, and domineering largeness of Rome’s most famous fascist buildings such as the Palace of Italian Civilization, the Sapienza University of Rome, Palazzo dei Congressi, and, most prominently, the Fountains Hall. (Google what they look like if you don’t know.) Now, I’m guessing those locations weren’t chosen by accident. They could have easily added to the creepiness of the movie — and I’m assuming creepiness was intended; otherwise how do you explain these hoverboarding nuns?

Anyway, the employment of the locations could have been atmospheric and thematic had the shots not been so bland. But they are. Bland, flat, and always looking the same no matter what is happening in the scene. Usually audiences are willing to sit through slow uneventful movies because of interesting visuals or characters worthy of attention, but Nina has neither. The titular character herself is tedious. Even her bad fashion sense is bad in a boring way that doesn’t tell you anything about her. Is she stuck in perpetual adolescence? Is she searching to get in touch with her sensuality? Who knows. The only thing I’m certain of is that she needs to learn to tuck her tops into her bottoms.

Nina spends her days giving singing lessons, going to Chinese calligraphy classes, eating cake, exercising and taking midnight walks in the empty city. She wants to go to China in September — it’s the closest thing to a goal she has — yet she’s done no preparations, and instead of learning Mandarin she’s studying calligraphy. And she’s real bad at it, too.

There are reoccurring visual elements in the movie besides the vast emptiness: stairs, white columns, a jogger, a red dress, animals… You’d think those were very straightforward symbols, but they’re used too sporadically and inconsistently to hold any meaning. For example, animals. Nina is tasked with both helping out in a pet store and house-sitting an apartment with a German shepherd (a good boy named Homer), a guinea pig and a tank full of fish. The instructions she’s given are absurd, like feeding the dog sleeping pills and putting the guinea pig on a diet. And then there’s a supposedly American TV show always playing in and out of diegesis about dogs living in cages and swimming happily in pools, and it looks and sounds like a video off the political section on the dog version of YouTube. It contains timeless classics like “You are a dog born in the age of consumerism” and “Depression is an evil illness now spreading amongst dogs of every breed, dogs belonging to every social class.” The butter commercial from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend could never. And I wish the whole movie was as surreal as this TV program but unfortunately it’s as bland and directionless as Nina herself.

And boy is it directionless. There aren’t any subplots in the movie, no cause and effect, no acts, no structure, no flow; only scenes that happen, and I can’t even find any reasons for the order in which they happen. The scenes also don’t start or end; they just interrupt each other, not leaving any emotional impact. For example, there’s a scene where Nina sees her future self. She’s on one of those midnight walks with the good boy Homer when she sees a couple being romantic. The woman is wearing a long red dress, and the man is in all black. The shot is wide, so it’s impossible to see their faces, but the woman is obviously Nina:

And the man is definitely Luca. I recognized his ass. I’m not joking, guys. It’s his ass:

Also I was later directed to the website of the photographer who took the set photos, and yes, it’s Nina and Luca.

I never forget an ass.

Anyway, Nina, who at this point hasn’t properly met Luca’s character, Fabrizio, sees herself from the future acting romantic with him, and doesn’t react. We don’t even know if she recognizes herself or him or whether it’s even a real scene or a dream. How are we supposed to empathize with a heroine who isn’t allowed to react to her environment?

Whatever, it’s time to talk about Fabrizio. He plays the cello and he’s obnoxious. That’s it. He first appears as a patron of Caffé Palombini, the real-world café Nina frequents (and buys her cakes at). She’s drinking her usual milk shake and reading. At some point, their eyes meet, but neither says anything, and then Nina gets up and runs after the good boy Homer who decided to take a little stroll by himself. She leaves all her things behind: her milk shake, her handbag, at least three books, a whole stack of paper for calligraphy, and her diary. It’s obvious she’s going to come back as soon as she gets the dog. And yet before her feet are even out of frame, Fabrizio gets up, goes to her table and fucking steals her diary!

His next several appearances are random and sporadic, and it looks like he’s stalking Nina, but by the time of his first actual scene she is following him for some reason. Obviously, he can’t let a woman outcreep him, so he ambushes her:

He tells her blankly, “You’re following me,” but I think this scene deserves better dialogue. Thankfully, we have a whole well of predator/maiden media to pull from.

Though I personally believe this is the most appropriate line:

Fabrizio lets Nina know he has her diary in the dickiest way possible: he quotes from it to let her know that he’s read it. He then informs her that he’ll only give it back to her if she continues following him. And it’s not blackmail; “it’s an agreement.” What an asshole! I’m weeping for the dignified cuckoldry of Joseph.

And what was the purpose of that “agreement” plot point if the next time they meet is by chance? Quirky love interest writing, duh. So quirky that the accidental meeting happens when Nina is walking past a phone booth where Fabrizio is… doing a phone prank? I don’t know, I got nothing. Anyway, he’s annoyed their meeting is unintentional on Nina’s part, but he returns her diary, and I guess they start dating? He watches her sing once with what could only be described as a complete absence of emotions:

In the next scene she watches him play the cello after which they go on a date. Nina is wearing the red dress from the vision, but Fabrizio’s shirt is different. I fucking give up.

Their next (second?) date is a romantic dinner on Nina’s roof, and they’re dancing for entirely too long. She then tells him she’s scared of how much she’s enjoying his company, gives him a ridiculously chaste kiss goodnight and… completely ghosts him afterwards. And if you didn’t dislike Fabrizio before, you will now as he starts calling Nina at ungodly hours (including 5:30 am) and leaving her very whiny and increasingly more passive-aggressive, entitled, and accusatory voicemails. At some point he even leaves a voicemail for the fucking dog! He’s like, “Homer, I’m worried, meet me at the café.” Again, quirky love interest writing: extortion, phone pranks and a voicemail for a dog.

Fabrizio then lets Nina know he’ll be leaving town in three days in case she’d like to see him one last time or whatever. And she never fucking does! In any other movie she’d be chasing through the airport, but here she just drops him like he’s a well-tucked shirt! She tells the kid she’s befriended (she hangs out with an eleven-year-old boy the whole movie, don’t worry about it) that she’s afraid to be “like everyone else”, with a job and a boyfriend, so she doesn’t even say goodbye to Fabrizio. At some point she goes for a walk with the good boy Homer, and Fabrizio is also there, and they just miss each other. Even fate isn’t interested in that romance.

And then all the fascist buildings get covered in gigantic paper figurines, and the red-dressed Nina runs into Fabrizio’s arms. Because of course.

Nina is one of those movies where the main theme — a struggle to grow up — is obvious, but the rest of the elements are a mess only the writer-director could decipher. And I don’t really care. Again, I had to read Japanese postmodernists at university. What I do care about is the male form I mentioned at the start. I know I have no one but myself to blame for my expectations of how the director should have framed Luca’s body or face, but it’s one thing to frame him blandly and a completely different thing to isolate him as the only character (or actor) she’s deeply uninterested in filming competently. Everyone else in the movie gets their fair share of close-ups and decent lighting whilst Luca — whose name is literally second in the credits — gets, um, neglected.

This is his introduction:

These are literally all his close-ups:

Should I even count this last one? What’s with the lighting? Like, this is as well-lit as his face gets:

Oh, the shot is too wide and you can’t see his face properly? Well, tough poop:

Are you kidding me with this shit?

Nina may not be objectively the most terrible of the movies Luca’s been in: I’d argue both Mary of Nazareth and L’ultimo terrestre are worse, as is Slam, whose time’s a-coming. Nor is it the movie where Luca appears the least (The Great Beauty’s literal one minute of screen time is saying hi). But it’s the only movie I have no reasons to watch: it’s blandly shot, poorly structured, badly themed — and it’s actively obstructing Luca’s beauty and charisma. So no matter which film you’ll ask me to do next, at least in terms of the visual component of my posts, we have nowhere to go but up.

[s4ijoh]

every time i see someone mischaracterize tooru it instantly triggers my fight or flight response.

it is BEYOND ME!! how yall are always so ready to demonize this man. you will pick on his every flaw and blow it out of proportion.

i mean im not the oikawa police: you are entitled to your own opinion but... fuck you mean he has tons of fangirls therefore he is “disloyal” & has “commitment issues?” how does that add up, am i missing something? did you watch the same shit i did? to go down that road i will also take the opportunity to say: i can’t even understand the whole situation surrounding the fandom and portraying oikawa as a womanizer like, where did that come from? once again, is it because of the fangirls? im about to pull the drama queen card and ask: lets put it this way and say we are talking about a girl… would you feel comfortable calling her a slut because she is surrounded by men? yeah, thought so. how does having a bunch of girls after him instantly turn him into a fuckboy or whatever. is it because he doesnt avoid them and is actually kind enough to engage in conversation with them? i mean as far as im concerned, it only shows he has other people’s feelings into considerantion and he is not that much of a douche. after all, he didn’t have to go out of his way to talk to them, he doesn’t owe these girls anything… he could just walk past them and go.

and im not about to dismiss the whole kageyama situation because im not fogetting about how it seems to always be an arguement as to why people hate him: what is it with your hyperfixation with it? i mean, you can even argue that oikawa was going to slap the ball out of kageyama’s hands, right? its not like he actually hit him for you to know he was aiming at his face… im not even about to get started with the whole discourse on how he was just a child back then and eventually he grew to understand his mistake and apologize to kageyama. plus lets not forget how oikawa wasn’t in the best headspace back then, im not saying it justifies his actions but people don’t act like themselves under stress, they let it get to their heads especially when theyre already fragile. oikawa was bound to collapse, kageyama just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong moment. ya’ll keep acting all high and mighty as if you’ve never snapped under pressure too or as if you never let your emotions get the best of you (+ as if you were never an immature child who has never done any wrong but i wont even go down that road) can't you at least feel the slightest bit of sympathy for him? i mean, i think we can all understand and relate to the feeling of hopelessness and anger upon seeing your hard work go to waste. are you really that cold or dense that you can't understand the build up that lead to his outburst? can't you feel sorry for how tragic his story is?

also, i wont sit here and watch you reduce oikawa to a whiny little bitch. if you don’t like his character, i respect that, but we have grown past the need to say you hate oikawa because he is “whiny” at least come up with a good argument lmao. before you come in my inbox, yes he whines quite a bit, whenever he is with his friends - as a reaction to when his friends make fun of him, he does it as a joke if you will, i dont even consider it to be a character trait, let alone the most outstanding trait. ya’ll dont seem to make a fuss out of iwaizumi calling oikawa names why are you making a fuss out of oikawa complaining? (you all dont seem to take it seriously and go as far as to say iwaizumi is mean why would you say oikawas whiny - yes im aware iwa does it as a joke and im sure oikawa does too) on a different note, lets not forget how, besides all his struggles and insecurities, he never played the victim, never complained but worked harder instead. lets not forget how he owns up to his bad decisions and never tried to justify the mistakes he made (yes, this includes the situation with kageyama, he reckons he made a mistake, regrets it yet you don't see him giving excuses for himself to neither iwa or kageyama), and he never once used his injury as an excuse to slack off. on his last match, against karasuno, when he fell on his bad knee you didnt even see him wince before he got back on his feet and ran back on court to continue to deliver his best performance, lets especially not forget how he handled that.

this is my opinion, yall keep doing your thing and portraying him as you wish i just needed to get this off my chest. yes, he is a flawed character i can’t argue with that: yes, maybe his ego is huge and he acts overly confident (although being confident is not something that should be considered a negative trait, call him cocky if you will or whatever) despite it being a defense mechanism it doesnt dismiss that he acts that way but i dont understand what is it about his character that makes you all so hyper focused on his negative traits alone. as soon as someone shows their flaws is that all you care about and completely disregard his remaining qualities. he has more depth to him, there is more to his character than his imperfections and mistakes.

+ again, you’re entitled to your own opinion and have every right to come up with your own hcs but… i wont just let you sit there and defame him + ruin his character. just say you don’t like him and go instead of completely distorting his image to justify your opinion. because yes, the fandoms perception of oikawa is ruining his character.

[surgeratesfucko]

personal post feel free to not read or do im not the boss of you

To preface: this rant is literally the most inconsequential first world problems shit out there and this whole post is very very cringe. possibly incomprehensible because i can’t fucking think. read at your own risk. also: any advice is appreciated. 

so im gonna go over to a friend’s house in about half an hour and im feeling really nervous because i asked them to shave my head. my mom’s kinda weird about me doing anything to my appearance. i haven’t gotten a professionally done haircut since, like eighth grade. the whole idea of getting a haircut seems way too personal for me. like in the picture of dorian gray, when basil makes the painting and refuses to show it because “there’s too much of himself in it”. Sorry if this is really incoherent. What im trying to say is that i am afraid that my family will make assumptions about me, try to interpret me, once i shave my head. like there’s something about a haircut that says “i have emotions and a lot of them in fact and they’re disgusting little emotions too”. Seeing as i would literally rather die than talk about my feelings with my parents, you can probably see why this is a problem. 

Basically: on the one hand, I really hate having long hair because it makes me more dysphoric than you an even imagine. On the other hand, wanting things is cringe. 

On top of that, I know for a fact that my parents aren’t going to react well. About a year ago i shaved a slit in my eyebrow, and my mom totally freaked out when she saw it. She said it looked horrible and I think she cried a little. She calmed down pretty quick tho and apologized, but she never once said she liked it. She’s usually a tad controlling of my appearance. The last couple of times I’ve had to get new glasses, she basically picked out the frames for me and only wanted my stamp of approval. The most recent time, however, she was still in her appointment when I picked out my frames. I got these really ugly jeffry dahmer ass transgender glasses (you know they type) and the lady was like um okay thats weird but whatever. She also offered to take me to the mens section which i am eternally greatful for thank you glasses lady i love you with my whole heart, even though I didn’t end up picking mens glasses. anyway, when my mom got out of her appointment she naturally went a bit crazy. she said my glasses looked horrible, how could i even think they looked good on me etc. The lady was also clearly uncomfortable with how my mom was acting. Anyway, I stood my ground and ended up getting the glasses. When the arrived a week or so later, my mom profusely apologized and said they looked great. She was offended when I didn’t believe her. One time, I bought this wonderfully late 2000s flannel hoodie (think jesse pinkman) and she ruthlessly mocked me for being a lumbersexual, which just feels like a homophobic slur. Anyway, my mom feels entitled to spout negative opinions about things I like, and thinks nothing of it. There’s a whole host of other situations like these, but that basically sums up what I think her reaction will be.

As for my dad, last october, I asked my parents if I could shave my head and they wanted me to show them pictures of women with shaved heads so I did. My dad thought it was funny, and then he tried to get me to watch boys don’t cry with him (a movie where a trans man is brutally raped and murdered, told as a lesbian romance by it’s terf ass director, although many trans men like the film because it’s literally the only transmasc representation in cinema) because i was “into that sort of thing”. Movies are the only way my dad really knows how to communicate, and he was genuinely trying to be supportive, but he’s just kinda ignorant. (like when i bought docs, he tried to make me watch romper stomper with him, a movie about austrailian nazi punks).

anyway, i know for a fact that they are not going to be happy about me shaving my head, or at least that their reactions will be really hurtful to me personally. I don’t really know how I should react, but i figure it’s better to be prepared for rejection than to let it blindside me. I know shit like this is literally the most whiny bitchy white girl ass problem, so that’s why its under a read more. wahhh my mommy doesn’t like my haircut, meanwhile other queer kids are getting kicked out onto the streets. I get it. Anyway, I’ll update later with their reactions. 

[pug-bitch]

That’s not why I’m staying (2)

Never have I ever punched someone

Book: The Royal Romance, Book 2

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive. This is absolutely NOT appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: about 4,500 (sorry I am on mobile, so no cutoff :/)

Notes: This picks up pretty much where we left off, during the night at the bar in Ramsford, right after Liv joined. It starts with Maxwell’s POV.

*****

‘Hey guys,’ a familiar voice says behind them.

Maxwell turns around. ‘Rashad! You made it!’ He says as he wraps him in a tight hug.

Rashad chuckles. ‘Yeah, Liv said it was important. Hi guys,’ he waves at Hana and Michael.

‘Oh, where are my manners?’ Maxwell exclaims. ‘Rashad, I’m not sure you’ve met Michael Hansen-Suarez, Amara’s brother-in-law. Michael, this is Rashad Domvallier!’

The two men shake hands and exchange pleasantries until Drake, Amara and Liv arrive, multiple drinks in hand, which they distribute to everyone.

‘Cheers guys!’ Maxwell says excitedly, before taking a huge sip of his margarita. Amara’s right, he thinks. No way he’s driving them back. Oh well, it won’t be the first time his car sleeps downtown.

‘This is a big gulp,’ Michael says playfully, as if he’d been reading his mind. ‘You sure you’re still our DD?’

Maxwell nudges him with his elbow and whispers, ‘Shhh, don’t rat me out!’

Michael chuckles. Maxwell is so happy to see him relaxed, finally. Plus, the emerald green was a good call.

‘You having fun?’ He asks.

Michael nods. ‘It’s really nice here, yeah. I could get used to this.’

Maxwell smiles. ‘Good. You should get used to having fun. Maybe later this week we can organize a real Beaumont Bash, to show you how it’s done!’

‘Oh God,’ Michael exclaims, ‘will I have to wear a sash?’

Maxwell laughs. ‘Only if you want to.’

‘Anyone wanna play pool?’ Rashad asks.

Drake and Michael nod enthusiastically, while the girls playfully roll their eyes. ‘We just got here!’ Olivia yelps.

Maxwell shrugs. ‘Oh well. It super gendered I guess, but I could go for a game of pool right now.’

‘Alright boys, don’t start any trouble with your good looks,’ Amara teases, already sounding a little drunk.

*****

The three women sit in awkward silence for a couple minutes before Amara breaks the ice. ‘Ladies, if we don’t start talking right now I’m gonna go crazy. Liv, I said I’m sorry, I made you hug me, please let it be ok between us now.’

Olivia rolls her eyes. ‘We’re fine, Suarez, I told you.’

‘Then why is it so fucking awkward?’

‘She’s right, Olivia,’ Hana responds after gulping down about half of her drink. ‘If something’s bothering you, you should talk about it. Come on.’

Liv raises an eyebrow. ‘Wow, Lee. I like you assertive. Maybe you’re not such a weak bitch after all.’

‘Olivia!’ Amara scolds her. ‘Hana is just as strong a bitch as yourself, so shut it.’

Liv pauses and bursts out laughing. ‘Alright, you sexy bitches, you want me to tell you what’s bothering me?’ They both nod frantically. ‘I’m not nearly drunk enough for it,’ she concludes.

‘Ugh,’ Amara sighs. ‘Drink up, then!’ She looks around to check who’s within earshot before continuing. ‘In the meantime, can we please talk about how hot Rashad looks in a leather jacket? You go, girl.’

Olivia pauses and chugs the rest of her drink. She gets up and leaves silently. Amara and Hana look at each other, puzzled.

‘You think I offended her...again?’ Amara asks hesitantly.

Hana shrugs. ‘Please. It wasn’t offensive, on the contrary! It wasn’t the first time you guys comment on the hotness of each other’s partners,’ she remarks.

Amara nods and quietly sips her drink, her head hanging. Why couldn’t she ever shut up?

A minute later, Olivia comes back with a tray of drinks. Two double vodka rocks for her, and four margaritas for the girls. Amara gasps. ‘What did you do?? And, most importantly, how did you get the bartender to serve you so quickly?’

Olivia laughs and gestures at her body. ‘Are you really asking? I’m a fucking knockout, Suarez. You should know how it’s done, with those tits on you, I’m sure you’ve used your wiles before.’

Hana giggles and chants, ‘Liv is getting druuuunk!’

Olivia laughs. ‘Lee, you’re already drunker than me. Alright, here we go,’ she says before chugging one of the double vodkas.

Amara’s eyes are as big as saucers. ‘Is it that bad? What you have to tell us?’

Olivia puts her glass down and gestures at Amara to drink faster. ‘No, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not bad. But for me, it is.’ She pauses for a long time. ‘Rashad and I boned.’

Hana gasped. ‘OMG, congratulations!’ And she whispers in a conspiratory tone: ‘he’s so hot!’

Olivia, serious as ever, looks at Amara, ‘Does she know she’s supposed to be gay?’

Amara smiles. ‘She’s gay, not dead, it’s a whole thing. Please continue.’

Olivia grunts. ‘Alright. Well, Lee, you’re right, he’s very hot. Even more so naked. An ass like you’ve never seen, and a dick, holy shit.’ She looks away in the distance before shaking it off. ‘I digress, sorry. What I mean is, despite his perfection, and him doing everything I like, it was… well, it was good. Not great.’

Amara nods. ‘You mean he didn’t sweep you off your feet?’

‘Yeah, something like that,’ Liv says as she grabs her next drink.

Hana nods. ‘It’s normal for a first time, I think. Plus, you guys waited a little while, so there were expectations. You gotta give it time.’

Amara chimes in, ‘Exactly, and maybe it’s like Carrie and Berger on Sex and the City, maybe the first time wasn’t ideal, and you two need to work on it a little more.’

Liv looks her dead in the eye. ‘Are you comparing Rashad to whiny-ass Berger, Suarez? Also, his name is Berger. Have some respect.’

Amara smiles. ‘That’s not what I meant. I was just trying to find an example.’

Hana nods. ‘Sometimes, when you really like the person, the first time is awkward because you’re so anxious to get it right, that you get in your own head. And before you protest, I didn’t say you. I meant maybe Rashad was in his own head.’

Olivia stares at her glass silently. She sighs and pursues: ‘Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just fuck him again. Pull a Suarez and bone him in this filthy bathroom.’

Amara grunts. ‘Come on, now you’re labeling me as the bathroom fucker? That’s not fair!’

*****

Michael walks towards the group of guys with a tray of drinks for everyone. Getting the second round was the least he could do, after they welcomed him so warmly. He didn’t really want to play pool, he’s just not good at it, and he doesn’t find it particularly fun. But he wanted to hang out with them, be one of the guys. He’s never been the most social person. He has friends, of course, albeit not many, but ever since he had Callie, he’s thrived as a father so much that he barely needs anything else.

Tonight, he finds himself missing his daughter, as always, but not in a sad way. In a way that makes him grateful to be a dad, all the while being happy to be here. With Amara, with new friends. With Amara’s new love, whom he’s grateful to get to know.

So, if he has to suffer through a few games of pool, so be it. With a couple more beers, he shall be drunk anyways.

‘Thanks, Mike,’ Drake says as he grabs a lager from the tray. ‘Next round is on Max. Right?’

Maxwell laughs as he aims for the balls. ‘Of course! My treat.’ He misses all of them, shrugs, and grabs a margarita from the tray. ‘Thank you, Michael. Rashad, your turn.’

Michael leans back against the wall and enjoys the atmosphere. He glances outside where the girls are enjoying their drinks. He notices a guy getting closer to them, then talk to them, while Amara is visibly trying to turn him down. Michael raises an eyebrow. He turns to Drake. ‘I’ll be right back.’

He exits the bar area to meet the girls on the patio. Something about this guy’s demeanor isn’t right. He stays at a distance as he listens to the interaction.

‘Come on, babe,’ the guy says to Amara. ‘Don’t tell me that you and your friends don’t want a drink from a guy like me.’ He opens his arms as if to display his body. ‘I’m no Prince, but I’m definitely capable of rocking your world. How about you, sweetheart?’ he asks Olivia.

Liv snorts noisily and responds, ‘My friend already told you we’re not interested, so fuck off, will you?’

The man laughs sarcastically and says, ‘Right, right, like you have such high standards.’

Olivia gets up menacingly and says, ‘Excuse me, asshole? What is that supposed to mean?’

Michael notices that both Amara and Hana get up also, their brows furrowed.

The guy spits out in an insulting tone, ‘I know you girls. You’re just a dyke and two whores, don’t pretend you’re anything more.’

Before anyone else can react, Michael’s blood boils and next thing he knows, he’s marching towards the man, putting his beer down, and connecting his fist to the guy’s face. He says, ‘What the fuck did you call my sister?’

The guy, taken aback, shakes his head. ‘What the hell--’ he says before he recovers and raises his fist to return the blow.

Amara leaps in front of Michael and places the guy in a strangle hold before anyone can react. The man yelps helplessly.

Michael’s head spins. It’s the first time he’s ever punched anyone. Suddenly, Drake is besides him. ‘Mike, buddy, are you ok?’

Michael shakes his head. ‘This asshole was insulting them, I--’

Drake turns to the guy, still held up by Amara. ‘What did you say to them?’

He struggles to breathe, and painfully says, ‘I was just--I was just trying to buy them a drink.’

Amara rolls her eyes and lets him go. He rubs his arm sheepishly. ‘He insulted the three of us because we refused to have a drink with him. Typical entitled dick.’

The guy mumbles, ‘Fuck you guys, I’m getting out of here. Bunch of assholes and whores.’

Drake places himself right in front of him, and he clearly towers over the guy. ‘What did you just say? Did you just call them whores? What’s your problem, man? You wanna get punched again?’

Olivia gets closer to Drake and pulls a dagger out of her jacket. ‘Or stabbed?’ she says. Michael gasps.

The guy runs off, still mumbling. Olivia puts the dagger away, as Michael is still reeling. He sits down. This is a lot to take in. His first sucker punch, a concealed weapon, and a whole bunch of dramatic confrontations. Not his typical Sunday at all.

The bartender comes out, closely followed by Rashad and Maxwell. ‘Sir,’ the bartender says to Michael, ‘you can’t stay here, we don’t tolerate violence in this establishment. As for you, Lady Nevrakis,’ he says to Olivia, ‘you can’t bring weapons here, please.’

Olivia rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her drink.

Maxwell grabs the bartender’s arm. ‘Loïc, please, they didn’t do this unprovoked. You know me, I wouldn’t bring troublemakers here.’

Loïc frowns and looks at Amara. ‘Oh, like this lady who likes to pull judo moves on people?’

Maxwell continues to barter: ‘This guy was bothering them, right Amara?’

Amara nods. ‘This douche called us whores, as well as derogatory homophobic terms. Do you welcome that in your establishment?’

Michael holds his breath as Loïc seems to take in the info. Finally, he rolls his eyes. ‘Fine. But Maxwell, next time, you’re all out. I mean it.’

As the bartender walks away, Michael takes a long, relieved breath. Amara sits by him. ‘Are you ok, Michael?’ she asks, looking at his hand.

He nods. ‘It doesn’t even hurt. I’m just in shock. Did I just punch a guy, or did I dream it?’

Drake laughs. ‘You definitely jammed your fist in his face, man. He deserved it, too.’

Hana squeezes Michael’s shoulder. ‘You’re our knight in shining armor,’ she jokes.

He turns to her, ‘I’m sorry for the name he called you. That was unacceptable.’

She shrugs. ‘It was. But you can’t change the fact that there are some terrible people on this Earth. All you can do, I guess, is…’ she pauses. ‘Punch them.’

Everyone laughs wholeheartedly. Michael takes a long sip of his beer and asks, ‘Can we talk about Olivia’s dagger, please?’

*****

‘Your Majesty?’

Constantine sighs, as if out of habit. He wishes he could get up, at least to seem like he’s doing alright, but his body is too weak. So, he calls out. ‘Come on in, Lady Madeleine.’

She walks in briskly, closing the door behind her. He specifically asked her to come by right after dinner, but it’s over an hour past, and he needs to get himself to bed. He tries to hide his annoyance and gestures for her to sit down.

‘Thank you,’ she says as she complies. ‘I won’t keep you long. I’m making progress.’

He nods. That’s all he wanted to hear. His country in good hands after he passes. That’s all he wanted. ‘Good, I’m glad,’ he says, hoping she will stop there and leave him alone. This could have been a phone call.

She nods. ‘Me too. He seems to have forgotten all about the incidents of the Ball, and I intend to help him forget some more.’

Constantine grimaces. He doesn’t need to know her methods, thank you very much. ‘Anything else?’ He asks impatiently.

Madeleine takes a breath. ‘Yes, potentially. He’s been talking to his brother a lot. He’s pensive after each of their talks. Last night, and then again this morning, and before dinner. I’ll keep an eye on it, but I thought you could ask your staff to do the same.’

Constantine nods. ‘Alright. It could just be that they’re speculating about who leaked the pictures, Lady Madeleine, nothing more. But you’re right. I will keep an eye out.’

‘Great,’ she says curtly as she gets up. ‘Enjoy your night.’

*****

Madeleine heads towards Liam’s suite. She finds herself hoping he won’t be as passive as last night. She shakes it off quickly. Who cares if he’s not enjoying himself? It’s not exactly a party for her either, but she will truly be happy when the crown is on her head.

He’ll learn to love her. If not passionately, like he would have the others like Olivia or the Mexican whore, at least he will love her respectfully, like a King loves his Queen. She doesn’t care if he fucks around. Perhaps she will, too.

But for now, she needs to keep Constantine happy. He wants the other women out of the picture, he doesn’t trust them. She gets it. She doesn’t trust them either.

She rattles her fingers on Liam’s door and waits for the weak signal to come in.

She plasters on a smile. ‘Good evening, love. I was heading to the gardens for a late night drink, do you want to join?’

Liam, already deep in a whiskey bottle, looks at his glass, chugs it, and gets up. ‘Sure,’ he says.

*****

‘Alright, alright! Rashad’s turn!’ Maxwell exclaims.

Rashad nods pensively. ‘Let’s see. Never have I ever… shaved my legs!’

Amara yelps, ‘That’s not fair! It’s clearly a twisted way to get us drunk!’

Rashad chuckles. ‘Yeah, you guys, and Maxwell,’ as he gestures towards Max taking a sip.

‘What?’ Maxwell asks. ‘I wanted to try it when I went through my bicycling phase!’

‘Ok, ok, my turn!’ Hana almost screams, leading Amara to think she’s had more than enough margaritas. ‘Never have I ever…’ she smirks at Michael’s direction. ‘...punched someone!’

Michael bursts out laughing as Drake pats his back. ‘Time to drink, buddy. I’ll accompany you, for obvious reasons,’ he says as he drinks.

‘Well played, Hana,’ Michael chuckles.

Hana mimes brushing off her own shoulders. ‘I try, I try. Amara, all you!’

Amara thinks for a second, trying to determine who she’s going to target. ‘Hmm, let’s see… Never have I ever had a child!’

Michael sighs. ‘Really, Amara? You know I’m a lightweight.’ He drinks reluctantly. ‘Ok now, my turn. Never have I ever…’ he smiles at Amara. ‘Thrown up in a parking garage.’

Amara gasps. ‘No fair! I told you this in confidence.’ She drinks. ‘Besides, it’s not my fault. I was sick.’

Michael fakes a cough. ‘Hungover sick.’

Amara rolls her eyes. ‘Fine, fine, since you’re determined to make me look disgusting.’

Maxwell puts his arm around her. ‘You could never be disgusting, Little Blossom, you’re the cutest! Even though, you know, you just had a guy almost choke in a badass move, I’m still allowed to call you cute.’

‘Alright, that’s my cue to go get another drink, you guys are too sappy for me,’ Liv says as she sighs deeply. ‘Rashad, help me carry the next round?’

Rashad follows suit, and Amara shares a knowing look with Hana. When the two are back inside, Hana asks, ‘Do you think they’ll be back?’

Amara chuckles. ‘I think if we’re expecting another round of drinks, we’re in for a big disappointment.’

*****

‘Feeling better?’ Rashad asks as Olivia is paying for the next round. He offered to pay but she looked at him with such a furious look that he put his hands up in a surrender pose.

Liv shrugs. ‘Yeah. Glad she’s back to her senses, and she apologized.’

Rashad smiles. ‘Good. Now can you tell me what else is bothering you?’

Olivia turns around briskly. ‘How do you know something’s bothering me?’

Rashad looks around for any wandering eyes and, when he realizes the coast is clear, puts a reassuring hand on Liv’s arm. ‘Because I’m starting to know your moods, Nevrakis. Now please tell me.’

She looks down at his hand. For one second, he wonders whether she’s about to tear him apart limb by limb for daring to touch her tenderly.

But she doesn’t. She looks into his eyes and says, ‘Did you really love last night?’

He gulps. He really did. It was amazing sex. But it was also somewhat awkward, and definitely not what he had been expecting from their extremely steamy makeout sessions. ‘You didn’t, right?’ He asks cautiously.

She whispers, ‘Don’t get me wrong, it was fucking good. But…’

He nods. ‘Yeah. I know. The anticipation was better.’

‘Right.’ She pauses. ‘Suarez thinks it’s just the curse of the first time.’

He nods. He should be mad that she already told her friend that he sucks in bed, but he figures, coming from Olivia, the fact that she talks about him at all is a compliment. ‘You think we should try again?’ He says, raising an eyebrow.

She nods. ‘Yeah. Let’s drop off those drinks and go fuck in the bathroom.’

He laughs heartily. ‘Um, as much as I’d love to, that’s a lot of pressure on a bathroom hookup. It might turn out to be even more awkward than the first time. Think hand dryers, weird smells, wet sink…’

‘Ew,’ she interrupts. ‘No need to get graphic, I get it.’

He gets closer to her and whispers in her ear. ‘I don’t want us to plan anything. Let’s just wait until we can’t help but fuck each other’s brains out.’

She gives him a mischievous smile and grabs a tray. ‘Well played, Domvallier. You got me wet already.’

*****

Liam zips up his pants, in silence. He looks around at the maze. Well, he thinks, there goes his maze fetish. She ruined it.

Madeleine gestures for him to help her zip up her dress. He complies. ‘That was...something,’ she whispers seductively. She looks at him over her shoulder. ‘Did you have fun?’ She purrs.

He plasters on his fake smile. ‘Of course I did, love. It was wonderful. Now let’s go back to the palace, you wore me out. I need to get some sleep.’

She seems satisfied enough with his answer. She locks arms with him and they walk on together.

Liam’s thoughts are racing, over his silence. How could he have thought she was genuine? How could he have believed her concern? All she ever wanted was to be Queen, he knows this, he’s always known this.

What he didn’t know is that she was willing to destroy others in order to get what she wants.

For now, he can’t break the engagement. But he will, right? He and Drake and Leo will find out who was in on the whole thing and Amara’s name will be cleared. Madeleine’s name will be the one with scandal associated to it. The woman who sabotaged everyone else for the throne. All they need is proof. Amara’s a detective, she can help figure it out.

His heart sinks. Amara.

She made it clear. She doesn’t have an interest in him. But maybe things will change, once she has a duchy and citizenship, and they can become friends first.

Right?

Something’s gotta give. He can’t be stuck in a loveless marriage.

*****

Madeleine runs her hand through her hair. She can’t arrive at the Palace all disheveled, although it would make for a nice statement. Sure, she’s not the first woman Liam fucked in the maze, but she’s the first fiancée he shags out there.

She didn’t hate the sex. He’s good at it. Still, this is a means to an end.

*****

‘Oh God, I shouldn’t have had that fifth beer,’ Michael slurs as Drake holds him up after the Uber ride.

Drake chuckles. ‘You’re good, I got you. Just put one foot in front of the other.’ He glances at Amara. ‘You ok, babe? Still standing?’

She gets out of the Uber and thanks the driver, a little wobbly on her feet. ‘I’m good,’ she laughs.

Hana stumbles out as well, giggly as ever. ‘Guys, I had the best night,’ she yells out.

Drake helps Michael up the steps, where Rashad, Liv and Maxwell are waiting for them.

‘Wooo you made it,’ Maxwell cheers. He holds out his arm for Michael to grab it. ‘Here, Michael,’ he says softly. ‘Let’s get you some water.’

Michael blushes. ‘Sorry everyone. I guess I’m still jetlagged.’

Olivia snorts. ‘Or maybe we wiped the floor with you at Never Have I Ever.’

Michael shakes his head. ‘I still think ‘Never have I ever been a lawyer’ was unfair.’

Maxwell opens the door delicately, so as not to wake Bertrand. He whispers, ‘Rashad, thank you so much for driving my car back. I owe you one. You can stay over if you want, Liv has a room here!’

Rashad nods. ‘Thank you Max, but I have an early meeting. I need some sleep.’ He looks into Liv’s eyes and captures her lips in a deep kiss.

Drake’s eyes widen. He looks at Amara, who’s pretending to fan herself. When Rashad’s mouth finally leaves Olivia’s, everyone else’s is still wide open.

‘Bye, Domvallier,’ Liv says in a low voice.

He winks at her and waves at everyone else. ‘Good night guys, it was fun.’ He takes out his phone and calls his driver.

Drake takes Amara’s hand and they go inside. ‘Wow,’ he says, ‘that was some PDA.’

Olivia snorts. ‘Ugh, of course you’d say that, Walker. Clearly, you have no idea what we’ve all been through with you. All your makeout sessions with Suarez, they aren’t PDA?’ She walks upstairs in the direction of her room and turns around midway, just to rolls her eyes at Drake one last time.’

He sighs. ‘Fine. I’ll shut up. I’m gonna turn in anyways. Babe?’

Amara squeezes his hand. ‘Yeah. I’m exhausted. Michael, you need me hun?’

Michael takes a deep breath, and uses the hand that isn’t holding Maxwell to hold the wall as well. ‘I’m fine, I just need water. Go to sleep.’

Maxwell shoos them with his hand. ‘You crazy bitches go to bed. I’m gonna water the kids,’ he says as he gestures to giggly Hana and wobbly Michael.

*****

‘Hana, hold still, OMG.’ Maxwell whispers, trying to help her out of her heels. ‘If we wake Bertrand he will kill me.’

Hana laughs softly. ‘Grandpa Tassel! I love his face so much.’

Maxwell can’t help but smile. ‘I do too, but if I see him burst out of his room, his lovely face furious at me, I swear to God, woman, I’m abandoning you to his wrath.’

Hana feigns shock. ‘Oh! You wouldn’t dare!’

Max blows her a kiss. ‘You have no idea what I’m capable of.’

Michael giggles, sipping on his glass of water. ‘Guys, I’m so drunk,’ he slurs.

Maxwell smiles softly. ‘It’s ok. Drink your water. I need to do the same, I’m fine but I’ve had a lot of margs.’

‘I swear Maxwell,’ he continues, ‘I never get this drunk. You have to believe me.’ He takes Maxwell’s hand. ‘It’s the jetlag, and that game.’

Maxwell looks at Michael’s hand, a pang in his heart. He puts his other hand on it, and carefully places it back on Michael’s lap, patting it gently. ‘It’s all ok, Michael. You can also blame the shirt.’

Michael makes a shocked face. ‘The shirt! It was infused with your party spirit, Maxwell. That’s it!’

Maxwell chuckles. ‘Yes, you got me.’ He finally manages to get Hana out of her shoes. ‘Hana, drink your water. I’m gonna go get you guys some of Drake’s leftovers. Be right back.’

‘Oh, I’ll come help,’ Michael whispers, getting back on his feet with difficulty. ‘Plus, I want to make sure you also bring some of those cookies we got at the farmers market.’

Michael stumbles a bit, and finds Maxwell’s arm. They walk to the kitchen together.

‘You ok?’ Maxwell asks, his heart racing.

Michael smiles faintly. ‘Yes. I’m embarrassed. I told you, I never get drunk. It’s embarrassing.’ He puts his hand on his face.

‘No!’ Maxwell protests. ‘Nothing embarrassing about having fun. You’re safe here, you can let go a little.’

Michael nods and, once in the kitchen, lets go of Max’s arm to hold on to the island. ‘You’re always so nice to me, Max. Thank you. You’re a good person.’ He pauses. ‘You don’t treat me like a pathetic widower.’

Maxwell grabs the pack of cookies and a tupperware of leftovers. ‘Michael, you’re so much more than a widower. And you’re not pathetic. You’re strong, smart, and loving. Look how far you’ve come just to reconcile with Amara.’

Michael sits at the island. Without a word, Maxwell brings him a cookie. Michael breaks it in half and offers him some. They both take a bite. Michael sighs. ‘I feel so much better,’ he says.

Maxwell smiles. ‘The power of the cookie, my friend.’

*****

Taglist:

@drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @andy-loves-corgis @jovialyouthmusic @mariahschoices @drakesensworld @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal @nikkis1983​ @simsvetements @alesana45 @iplaydrake @emceesynonymroll @lily1999love @drakewalkerwhipped @drakxwalker @drakewalkerrosenberg @drakeswalkers @drakelover78 @silviasutton1989 @dcbbw @texaskitten30 @furiousherringoperatortoad @hollygirl1269 @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @thisperfectmemory @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @mrsmairstanley @addictedtodrakefanfic @msjpuddleduck

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[takaraphoenix]

🔥 ........ marvel?

I absolutely hate the viewer-baiting MCU-tie in shows. Like, they haven’t even started airing but I am already so very sure that they’re not going to be good? They literally only exist so people will subscribe to the Disney streaming service and they’re so... shallow.

Loki? Purely for popularity’s sake. And it’s such a stupid concept. Like. There are things you could explore with Loki especially post-Endgame, but instead... it’s a... prequel... about when Loki was still the bratty, whiny, entitled princeling? Yikes. I was rather pleased with how he had been growing to be more than “odIn Is So MeAn So I hAtE tHoR!!!!” but... they’re basically setting Loki back to that mode exactly by making it a prequel and hng.

A rom com with Vision and Wanda? Personal feelings on Wanda aside, that ship died the quickest death for me when Wanda crashed Vision through the floor because she was on house-arrest. That’s... even if your boyfriend can go through walls... Really Not Good. And that short scene of them playing house in Infinity War did nothing to wash that taste away??

Sam and Bucky? WHEN DOES THIS TAKE PLAAACEEE? Because seriously, it’s not like Sam and Bucky actually know each other?? They worked together in Civil War, but then Bucky got put on ice until Infinity War. They fought two whole battles with each other. At what point exactly are they retconning a show in there, considering that post Endgame, Sam is literally Captain America and I’d rather see him carry a damn Captain America movie than be sidelined into a TV show.

Clint Barton TV show? Uhm... The MCU has done absolutely everything in their powers to ruin this character literally from the get-go and Endgame didn’t exactly make him a more lovable character by turning him into a serial killer?? And... introducing Kate Bishop? After Clint literally called his daughter Hawkeye in the Endgame movie?? How much, on a scale from 1 to 10, do you want to confuse movie-goers who are then meeting an entirely new Hawkeye? Not to mention that Kate Bishop would deserve to have a movie. Just because you made one (1) female-led superhero movie doesn’t mean you have to stop there. You’re allowed to have more than one??

These are all additional tag-ons after things are wrapped. Like, I’m in a place in my mind right now where I am genuinely done with the MCU because it was really well-wrapped. It ended. That they continue to shoehorn, very specifically, into the Infinity Saga is making my eye twitch.

Especially since this is already twenty-two movies long. And now, if you want the full, actual content of it all, you’d also have to watch TV shows? Since these actually tie into the MCU, unlike their other ““tie-in”“ TV shows like Agents of SHIELD that mattered so little, they didn’t even bring Coulson into Endgame because they know no one watches that show and it’ll only confuse the people who only watch the shows.

These aren’t projects that feel like excitement. I used to feel excitement about MCU content, but now with their three movies a year schedule, it’s become more of a chore. Yes, I was very excited for Captain Marvel because it was something entirely fresh and new. Same goes for Black Panther, but aside from them, it’s become a little much with just how many they pump out and those TV shows? They feel more like homework assignments you have to do for the movies than like something that’d actually get me hyped.

Personally, I would 100% rather have them pour that money into actual cartoon shows. Give every OG Avenger their own cartoon show, with Arrowverse-style crossover events once a season where they get to “Avengers Assemble!”. Give Black Panther his own cartoon show. Now that you got the rights back, give X-Men a new cartoon show - and reanimate that dead project of a Deadpool cartoon.

Do something new and exciting with the properties instead of dragging the Infinity Saga on and on and on until you gotta bingewatch an entire month without break to make sense of shit anymore.

That’s the beauty of comics and multiverses; you could have parallel-running adaptations of things. Not everything has to be MCU, you could do new, exciting things with those characters!

[serenagaywaterford]

But I think Nick will die for June at the end (Max, here is your chance to instill some life into the character, right before he dies. Ha) Oh, and yeah... people giving him a pass are just ridiculous. Granted he had little power, but he was driving when the commanders came up with the ceremony idea, and who knows what else he’s privy to in those 500 millions car rides. He has an important job, easy access to anywhere including the borders, knows a shit ton about the inner workings of Gilead.

Never did he try to escape, and share that intel with the rest of the world. It would’ve been so easy for him to do. Fine, let’s say he’s with the resistanc, trying to fight from within, but honestly he’s not done much on that front either. The previous handmaid killed herself, and he couldn’t do much for the current one. Never mind the others. Basically nothing in the past 5 years or so… why is he so great?

This is what annoys me about all the Serena hate. Sure, she’s awful… but she gets more hate than everyone else, including Fred sometimes. What about aunt Lydia? Carrying out daily punishments to all handmaids, literally has mutilated every sinlgle one of them.. but but she really really loves them!!

Or commander Joseph? He was the architect of the financial system, and also the colonies (if I remember correctly). Oh I don’t know, sounds like a big deal… but but he’s so quirky, and throws out a few funny one liners. Anyway, in conclusion, Serena good, everyone else sucks (j/k, sort of). Rant over.

—

This is such a huge, complex issue. This is gonna get loooooooooooonnnnnnngggggggggg.

Personally, I’m tired of the “he had little power” argument for Nick. It’s akin to “He’s just following orders” imo. The Nuremberg defense. He wasn’t that powerless, lbr. He’s a man. With a brain. The ability to say, “Um, no thanks.” Which puts him in incredible power over every single woman, including Wives. Maybe at the beginning when he was a mere driver he had less power (but he still had the ability to say no). But he still had a damn voice and opinion, and what did he do with it? Supported the Handmaid system. Blatantly. Barely any hesitation. Nick has been complicit in Gilead from the very beginning when he was literally hand-picked by Pryce because he was a disillusioned, entitled, little man with anger issues. (Hmm, sounds familiar to a lot of the ultra-right MRAs now.) He could have said no. I’m sure he could have even gotten out of that cesspool as soon as he saw where it was heading. Pryce is one of the OGs of Gilead. Nick stayed quiet and continued to support him, for years and years and years. Then he directly supported Waterford, another Gilead OG, for years. He did literally NOTHING to help any women at any point, until June came along and only then did he help her, but not women in general. Just June. He is so incredibly selfish and self-serving. But hey, woobie cinnamon roll. Blah.

Now, is it understandable? Sure. Nobody wants to be poor, sent to a labour camp, or die. But maybe Nick could have just been an Economan? He could have been a soldier. He could have been a rebel! Who knows. I never once saw him threatened with anything at all, except in 2x10/2x11. Sort of. I do get why Nick would stay quiet, keep his head down, and as man --have no concept of what he was doing. But I don’t think that absolves him of his involvement. Which is essentially my issue with him.

Even in mid-S2 he still had NO concept of what women really experience in Gilead. His whiny bullshit to June about not wanting to fuck Eden was just... the moment I realised he has literally learnt and absorbed NOTHING. He was literally whinging to JUNE WHO IS RAPED EVERY MONTH about how he doesn’t want to have sex with Eden.

Like, yeah, I wouldn’t want to rape a child either. (And yes, I do consider it rape regardless of whether Eden says she wants to do it or not. She has no concept of even the ability to consent. She thinks she HAS to or die, and Serena has confirmed that repeatedly.) And it’s a fucking horrible choice: rape a child or be hanged for being gay. Holy shit that’s awful. So, in a way, it’s mutual rape??? Well, that’s sort of awful since Eden isn’t doing anything at all. But Nick is being abused by the very system he helped organise. Funny that. (Not funny.)

I am just so fucking glad June called him on it. But it’s that sort of attitude and behaviour that makes it really hard for me to consider Nick an honest to goodness Good Guy, rather than just a Nice Guy TM. It’s not like it was just a flashback, it was current Gilead.

And because of that lack of understanding on his part, I think that’s why he’s done basically nothing. Honestly? What has he done for the resistance?

...

Um.

1. Gave letters to Luke.

...

That’s it. 

(Don’t get me started on that whole “these letters are so revolutionary!!!” subplot cos it was so nonsensical when there are literal human beings saying the same things RIGHT THERE lol.)

Not that it’s not a big deal. It was very important. But that’s literally all he has done for the resistance as an entity. Everything else has just been for June, specifically, which is, essentially for his own sense of well-being. He has SO MUCH DIRT on Waterford, at least. And like you said, he has so much background on Gilead as a whole. He knows every in and out of it and has nothing with it. At least that we’ve seen.

Other things he’s done? Ignoring June’s “misbehaviour”. Fucking June. Acting as a decoy to protect June at the house in the woods. Helping Serena forge security documents and various things (which is not for the resistance either but it was a Good Thing, but if we’re gonna give credit to him for that ya gotta give it to Serena (and June) too). Everything he’s done in terms of smuggling and Jezebels--which is not at all for the resistance and only benefits the men.

He’s just not that great.

ANYWAY. ENough about Nick. He’s not worth it lol.

This is what annoys me about all the Serena hate. Sure, she’s awful… but she gets more hate than everyone else, including Fred

THIS. IS. IT.

THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INFURIATING THING IN FANDOM.

I AGREE 100000000%.

Serena by far gets the most hate, for ANY POSSIBLE THING. I think it’s come to the point where Serena could just walk a certain way and viewers would criticise her for which foot she put first. This woman BY FARRRRR gets the blame for everything. More than Fred. 

And we all know why.

Don’t even get me started on the fan-boner for Commander Lawrence. Oh my god, he’s so quirky and weird! He didn’t rape Emily! WHAT A GREAT GUY!!!! I HOPE HE’S IN S3!! I WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT HIM!!! HE’S SO AWESOME!

No.

He’s a fucking creep.

His wife is literally so traumatised by his existence she’s gone somewhat insane, so he LOCKS HER IN HER ROOM. “For her own good”, ofc.

He created the financial system AND the Colonies.

We literally have no idea if he’s beaten women, withheld anything, or raped them during Ceremonies. (I would assume he has. A man who invents the fucking Colonies doesn’t seem like the sort of dude to draw the line at state-sanctioned rape or corporeal punishment. So, let’s assume that at least he’s participated in Ceremonies in the past.)

But hey, he played some Annie Lennox and has cool comic books! And look, what an amazing man he is for helping Emily escape! He’s got such a pure heart!

Yes, the man who invented radioactive concentration deathcamps for gay/feminist/old/barren/adulterous women. He’s such a paragon of peace and feminism. We all should love him.

I...

CAN’T...

EVEN.

Meanwhile, yes, Serena has done fucking horrible things. (She did NOT invent the Handmaid system however.) But wait... HORRIBLE IRREDEEMABLE CUNT!!!!!!!!!! NEVER FORGIVE ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE HATES WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE BITCH DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And there is literally no interest in discussing her rationally, or even attempting to understand why she does what she does. BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO DIE!!!

(The gendered slurs towards Serena often are also very, very telling.)

I have no problem with people hating Serena, or criticizing her. Good. She deserves it. 

I do have a problem holding her to some different standard than literally ANY OTHER CHARACTER. While actively ignoring the horrible shit the men do on a regular basis. The two most hated characters? Serena and Lydia. But you’re right, I often see the “Aunt Lydia is horrible and I hate her... but she loves the girls in her own messed up way and is doing her best for them!!!” 

Yeah? Well, Serena loves children. Like, really fucking loves kids. In her own messed up way and is doing her best for them. 

I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the two most hated characters and the ones that receive the most vitriol are female villains whereas male villains are just sort of skimmed over. Sure, people say, “I hate Fred” it’s not nearly as gendered or as intense. And in a way I get it, cos women hating other women to such a degree is ... just... unbearable. But it was literally the men who both created and maintain the society. ALL MEN. No excuses, no exceptions. ALL men, including precious Nick. Whether or not he’s happy or likes the system, he’s still done fuck all to change it and he still benefits from it.

Where’s the outrage at Warren for sexually abusing Janine? Oh, right. He got punished for that so it’s all fine. (Serena was literally whipped with a belt for doing a Good Thing, and lost a finger for another Good Thing, but hey, “She deserved it. It’s not enough! She needs to DIE a horrible death ASAP.”) Where the consistent outrage at Fred for basically everything he ever says and does? Where’s the same outrage for participating in raping pregnant June? (I do get there is a difference and even June knows it but still. The outrage was not even close to the same level. They literally blame Serena for Fred’s behaviour like he’s some poor, voiceless rube that is controlled entirely by her.) And we’ve already discussed the lack of outrage at Joe, or Nick.

I dunno.

It makes me so sad and angry. Serena could just sigh the wrong way and fans will insist she dies. Fred is an architect of the system (WAY more than Serena), continues to support the system wholeheartedly, cheats on his wife by grooming and sexually assaulting the Handmaids (yes, plural), then blames his wife for him cheating, beats the shit out of his wife, chops off her finger, rapes a pregnant woman (not to mention all the other rapes, where it is completely in his power to say no thanks not tonight at any time), wallops June across the face, gleefully supports murdering children, and implies that he wants to continue raping June for as long as possible to get a son (so, FOREVER), and hey, that’s just Fred being Fred. Cos, look, he lets June play Scrabble and see her baby. Fred has not done a single Truly Good Thing.

Not to say Serena hasn’t done almost equally awful things to some of those things. She has. But the sheer hatred towards her and the vocal outrage far surpasses Fred. Even when she legitimately does a Truly Good Thing (of which she has done exactly 3 lol), people say, “Well, so what? Hang the bitch!!!!!!!”

I know I sound like some delusional Serena Joy stan but really, the sexism and misogyny even in a fandom like THT is staggering. 

Because sadly, I see it towards June as well. I have literally read terrible takes about how June isn’t that great, but Nick is the true gem. June isn’t that great cos she’s the Other Woman and wasn’t compassionate to Luke’s wife accosting her, but Luke is fine even though he was the actual adulterer and he was totally right to be screaming at his (ex-)wife like that on the phone. June gets a shit load of criticism for a lot of things while certain other male characters, again, get a pass for sometimes worse decisions and behaviour.

So, yes, I agree SO FUCKING HARD with your rant and always feel free to rant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDD

[welcometotheravenclawcommonroom]

WHO HATES BIG BANG THEORY I WILL FIGHT THEM... lol jk but you gotta admit raj is kinda sweet just hopeless. actually none of the guys are that bad, they're just... human. they make mistakes, and the show reflects that.

There are a number of complaints about the men on the show, and I have to agree that Howard is... problematic, at the least, and I’m not the biggest fan of Leonard.  I have to admit I see myself in Sheldon, as he’s clearly on the autism spectrum just like I am, and he is trying his best to function in a world he doesn’t understand.  Raj also has this general aura of entitlement I’m not fond of.  “Adorkable Mysogyny” is really the best explanation for Leonard, Howard, and Raj.  But I adore Amy, as well as the actress who plays her.  I love that the show has successful women in science.  I think the problem with the show is that there is a lot of sexist behaviour excused by the men, and I agree it’s problematic.  The best example is in one of the early episodes, when Penny snaps at Howard for being a creep and he gets all whiny and snivelly about it.  Then the other guys pressure her into apologising because he’s “sensitive.”  I hate the way he treats Bernie, because he doesn’t help around the house and she could have done so much better, honestly.  But I LOVE the women and I must admit that Sheldon’s character development warms my heart, and the platonic friendship he has with Penny is something I’d like to see between two characters of opposite sex a lot more.  The girls save the show, honestly, and as an itty-bitty little woman, Bernie is kind of an icon for me- she knows what she wants and she goes for it.  I *don’t* want to end up with my own Howard, but that won’t be a problem because I’m gay as fuck lol.

[bigskydreaming]

I was talking mcu with a coworker, and the soon x men/f4 inclusion. He mentioned the infinity gems would be perf to bring them in via the Illuminati plot. I’ve fully pushed that out of my memory, but god I hope not. The ONLY thing that could possibly entice me for that is if they put Ramonda in T’Challa’s Place.... in her desire to bring him back. I can’t remember who brought up that possibility and... lord I might be there for that.

I mean, I am always fucking here for more Angela Bassett in any way, shape or form, and she’s one of the few people who could actually make something interesting out of the shitshow foundation the Russos laid down in IW, but I don’t think this is really a possibility. The deal to bring the X-Men and FF into the MCU is still in process and they’re not gonna be done nearly in time for them to be part of Avengers 4. At most we might get a post credits scene hinting at their arrival in a post Infinity War MCU.

Like, I fully expect something to do with the Infinity Stones and their reality altering powers will happen in the next movie to lay the groundwork for the X-Men and FF being part of the MCU after that, a kind of soft reboot, maybe a mutants were here all along kinda thing as a side effect of whatever they do to undo the godawful stupid as fuck finger snap, but I really don’t think we’ll see any actual mutants or FF just yet.

And not gonna lie, other than what you laid out for Ramonda, I have zero desire to ever see the Illuminati plot play out onscreen and one of the sole redeeming features of this Thanos plot is it makes me feel like maybe they’ll decide to be done with the Infinity Stones for awhile after it and thus we won’t have to worry about the stupid fucking whiny entitled pissbabies collectively called the Illuminati self-appointing themselves custodians of the most powerful forces in the universe because they believe they and they alone can be trusted not to abuse these forces even though they literally abuse these forces and their own powers and their own resources 24 goddamn 7 anyway.

(I have very strong anti-Illuminati opinions, can you tell? And I don’t mean T’Challa, I’m mostly referring to the original Illuminati which was Xavier, Black Bolt, Tony, Reed, Namor and Strange, and only Namor I’m fine with of that group because at least he like....owns being an entitled dick who thinks he’s better than pretty much everyone else, he’s like yup, that’s me and I’m cool with that.)

[blueraith]

Read more for SPOILERS

This is the best article about the movie that I have read yet. I’ve always had hopes that female characters would get better treatment in Star Wars, and this movie has done that. The Last Jedi was everything I wanted in a Star Wars film, and I believe a good portion (but not all of it, or even most of it, to be fair) of certain people who hated this movie, feel that way because it wasn’t a male power fantasy. Six of the nine Star Wars films are male fantasies. It’s time the ladies got a turn.

I’ll be honest, if this film came out and did any of the things with Rey’s character that the dudes on Reddit and elsewhere, wanted, I would have probably given up on the series entirely. A series I grew up with, read all the books over, played the games, I am a Star Wars superfan. As much as I heavily criticize Star Wars superfans, I am one myself. Women have never had a place in Star Wars that the men have. We have always been pushed to the background. Even the greatest female characters in Star Wars, Leia, Padme, Bastila, Jaina, Mara Jade, all of their stories have depended on men. Many of them have died at the hands of men. (Lookin’ at you Mara, and Padme, I will never forgive their treatment in the series.) Jaina was always neutered in favor of her brothers or held back by her love interests. Another butchering of a character I loved in Star Wars that I am very unlikely to forgive.

One of the most popular theories that came out right after TFA I saw before I went dark—and largely the main reason I went dark so early in the first place, because wow reading the circle jerking and how Rey’s a mary sue pissed me right off—was that Rey would fall to the Dark Side while Kylo would be redeemed.

I hate this theory with words I cannot fully describe. Because I largely suspect it is a dressed up, very real, desire that male fans of the series hold because they hate that Rey is the protagonist of the new series. They want their male Jedi, and by God, they want to get him at any cost. It’s always cleaned up with, “But it doesn’t matter who is the Jedi. It’s not that she’s a woman, Kylo is just more interesting.”

Never mind the fact that they have never given Rey a real chance. (”How does she know how to fight so well??? Ugh, mary sue.” Well, you dumb-dumbs, she grew up on a freaking desert planet alone, with no one looking out for her. She’s clearly shown fighting with great proficiency with her staff almost immediately in the movie. And none of the complaints about her fighting skills magically seem to make their way to Finn, who can wield a lightsaber despite never holding a weapon like it before. Wow. How odd.)

Mini-rant over. No, it’s always been about Star Wars being a massive sausage fest. I’ve always been of the opinion that Star Wars fans, most of them being dudes, don’t want to share their toys just like they don’t want to share video games. I criticize Star Wars superfans because they are the most entitled, whiny, and sometimes even sexist, fandom I have ever been in. Criticizing them in a way above, something I’ve done in the past, frequently gets me told that I “hate Star Wars,” and I should just “leave if I hate it so much.”

I don’t hate Star Wars. I love Star Wars. But I think Star Wars could be better, and it should be held to a higher standard. It’s one of the greatest pieces of Americana in history, and I damn well call it out when it needs to be criticized.

[wanderfan2000]

Wander

Wander is, by default, free spirited, easily excited, up beat, happy and optimistic. He is prone to switching gears on a dime, going from laid back and mellow to sudden loud, fast‐talking outbursts of realization. This spiritedness should have a sincere childlike enthusiasm and innocence to it; he should never feel false, phony or insincere. It’s important to avoid casting someone that just does a “crazy cartoon” voice. There should be a warmth and sweetness amidst his manic lunacy.

Friendly/spazzy: WOW! WHAT A NEAT LITTLE TOWN! They got a castle and everything! Is that where the king lives? I never met a king before, I bet he’s nice, he’s gotta be with a town so nice! Friendly/sympathetic: Aww what’s wrong little fella, why ya’ all down in the dumps? Well your pal Wander’s got just the cure for that right here in my hat—OH, OH what’s this?! WELL IT’S A GREAT BIG HUG! Laid back: Aaaaaah! This is the life, Sylvia. The sound of the wind through the trees, the warmth of the two suns on your back and your best buddy by your side—or in my case, under your butt. Righteous: WAIT A CORNFORSAKEN MINUTE! THIS SO AIN’T RIGHT, IT’S DOWNRIGHT WRONG!! Laughing: Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sylvia

Sylvia does not consider herself a pessimist, she considers herself a realist. Though she’s strong enough, tough enough and capable enough to be one of the galaxies greatest vigilantes, her belief that no good deed ever goes unpunished keeps her constantly mumbling and grumbling under her breath every time Wander finds a soft enough spot in her heart to convince her to join him in an act of do-goodery. This constant state of exasperation does not derive from a source of hatred, rather it springs forth from an overwhelming frustration with the mindboggling idiocies of the universe and a clear idea of how things could and should work. In a world of chaos and nonsense where she adventures with an overly impulsive hero, Sylvia is often the only (and irritated) voice of reason and logic. In order to relate to her, it’s important to capture her frustration and pessimism while avoiding a voice that sounds too harsh or off-putting. Her sarcastic comments should be a source of comedy and not one of disdain.

Irritated/sarcastic: I told you, Wander, I told you this place looked like bad news! But did you listen? No, you were all (imitating Wander) “let’s go look at that neato skull ship! Maybe there’s nice folks there!” What about now? Think they’re nice now? Sarcastically complaining to self while kicking ass: Oh great the idiotic door won’t open when you push the flargin’ button <HYAAA! (kicks door down)> Well would you lookit that, a swarm of <ugh!> (punching) Watchdogs that want to <hng!> destroy me! <ug!> What’s this? THE GROP DERNED, SHIP IS EXPLODING!! HOORAY! Reluctantly giving in: Oh… all right, ya sappy bean pole. You can have ONE more—just stop it with those disgustingly adorable puppy dog eyes before I blorf. Nervous/apologetic: Heh heh. Sorry Lord Hater we’ll find it, promise! Heh, never knew skeletons could loose their skulls so easily, heh. Trying not to laugh: No, no, no, no, It’s not going to work. I don’t care how many hot dogs you can shove in you mout—SERIOUSLY, STOP IT, it’s not funny, IT’S NOT FUNNY!

Commander (Sergeant) Peepers

Sgt. Peeper’s could easily give Napoleon a run for his famous complex. Short, squishy and cute, Peepers would have taken over the universe well before his boss, Lord Hater, did, if it were not for his adorable stature. A brilliant tactician and a ruthless commander, it would have been easy—if only he could be taken seriously. His intelligence, penchant for engineering and inventing, along with his nasally, weasely voice and often nerdy demeanor doesn’t help. To compensate, Peepers has developed a MASSIVELY short temper. He can turn on you at a moment’s notice for only the slightest offense. In fact, he’s so quick to have a coronary, he comes across as cartoonishly bi‐polar. When he’s not on the verge of an aneurism from screaming, he may be calm and calculating, reflecting on the pleasantries of war making, and even congratulating his men on a job well done. The only being spared Peeper’s rage is Lord Hater. With much effort, Peeper’s manages to hold his tongue with his childish leader, holding his hand and coddling him even when he’s making the stupidest calls.

Sly/intimidating: Well, well, well if it isn’t Wander and Sylvia, Lord Hater and I have been looking for you two idiots for a very long time. Losing temper/having a coronary/Bi‐polar: (angry) WHAT?!! WHAT IS IT BOB!?! (to self) Unconquered Planet? How could that… Huh. Whattaya know ’bout that. Thought we got ‘em all. (maniacal) WELL WE’LL SURE TURN THEIR FROWNS UPSIDE DOWN!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! Seething/trying to hold back temper: Yes, your… royal heinousness. I think that’s a… fantastic… idea. It sure is a good thing that you thought of it and… not… me… I am but your humble… stupid… servant. Commanding: Yes! That’s it my obedient Watch Dogs, that’s it! Keep on the lookout for anything you see that could threaten or strengthen our power!! See what you will see and report back to me and we will continue to be the most FEARED FORCE IN THE GALAXY!!

Lord Hater

Upon first meeting him, Lord Hater fulfills every expectation one would have of the universe’s most loathsome intergalactic overlord bent on total domination. Large, imposing and powerful. Terrifying, heartless and cruel. He wields a deep booming voice that inspires fear and terror in the souls of all who hear it. However, and quite surprisingly, should anyone manage to get under his non‐existent skin, they will find the snarky, entitled heart of an immature, tantrum‐throwing teenager—but with the same deep booming voice. As it turns out, Hater’s bid to take over the galaxy is fueled by a deep emotional need to feel important. Perhaps his mother didn’t love him enough. Perhaps he had an older brother who was a bully. Perhaps in high school the jocks picked on him and the cheerleaders laughed at him for being a walking skeleton—who knows? For certainly all those big, fat, mean jerks have been destroyed by now. Lord Hater’s acting will have to constantly switch between a very believable scourge of the universe to an equally believable (not mocking) overly sensitive, emo teenager. Villianous/self important: I AM LORD HATER!!! The most feared, evil ruler in all the galaxy!! I have mangled the minds of millions! I have tempted forth torrential tides of tears! I have crushed the courage of countless kings! I have reduced the richest of republics to rubble and ruin! And I have done all of this because I am the GREATEST IN ALL THE GALAXY!! Whiny/bratty/tantrum‐my: IT’S NOT FAIR!!! I should have won the trophy! I’m the GREATEST IN THE GALAXY!! You guys are just a bunch of… of… of MEANY MEANERSONS!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!! Irate/snotty: Seriously Peepers did you see that??!! I mean seriously, they like totally wrecked my ship. It’s ruined! I mean look at this. It’s totaled. I am so mad right now I could just scream!! Insecure/sensitive: Ah jeez, who am I kidding? I’m such a failure. Nobody fears me. Nobody loathes me. They’re just saying that to make me feel better. Grop, I’m such a loser. Evil Laugh: WA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Found some early designs of Wander, Sylvia, Peepers and Lord Hater and I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH!!! 

I wonder if the actors read these when they were cast as the characters... 

These and the descriptions were all found on Wander News. 

[constantvariations]

So we all know Death Note 2017 massively sucked but

the idea of an American version of Death Note still warrants some discussion in my book (ha) simply because of the sheer differences between the social/political/economical/etc statuses in Japan and America.

Please settle in for a ramble because I am pissed off and sleep deprived. Also, I have not yet seen the Netflix Death Note but I’ve watched lots of reviews tearing it apart so I’m completely qualified to say things.

If we wanted to keep to the original characters, Light Yagami in America could have very different targets than Light Yagami in Japan. Let’s say, for instance, the Yagami family immigrated to America and Light either remembers the struggles of the family during the early years or has heard the stories numerous times. That might make him more sympathetic to others trying to come into the country, whether for opportunity or refuge, and a certain travel ban would conflict with this view. If Light had the Death Note, he would’ve had the power to shift the scales once the ban was proposed by eliminating some of the biggest mouthpieces.

Of course, that’s only one example of many possible choices for an American Light Yagami, but hopefully you get my point. White Americans (especially those of the “appropriate” margin (cishet, non-disabled/mentally ill, male)) experience a different America than everyone else simply because their privilege, carrying (often not so) subtle shifts in the social hierarchy, hence one of many reasons why whitewashing is such a horrible thing to do. It erases the experiences of another demographic’s life by eclipsing it with a desired uniform.

As already stated by others smarter and more elegant than me, Light Turner seems less authentic as a character because he’s just another white boy getting a free pass to exercise his sadistic killing boner. White Manhood carries a sense of entitlement because they are considered the norm by Hollywood and society, implying they are above everyone else and that the world belongs to them. This is why the majority of mass murderers, serial rapists, and money grubbing CEOs are white men. Turner is now a statistical average instead of an exception, which was an incredibly compelling part of the original series.

However, i think everyone’s missing something potentially fantastic here. Imagine an American Death Note as a series with original, diverse characters. With America’s current mess of affairs, what with our f’d up justice system, the devastation done by hurricanes and earthquakes and our government’s inhumane response, the visible revival of Nazis, among many others, we have, to put it simply, a lot of differing opinions and perspectives. 

Now, imagine the Death Note being picked up by someone immediately affected by any of the above or even someone who’s a part of these problems. Consider what could be done with well-written episodes or even full seasons dedicated to following people from a variety of ethnicities, religions, beliefs, classes, sex/gender, etc? We could watch each of them struggle with their sense of morals and justice, explore and develop their own style of using the notebook, define their victims, and see the potential consequences of each person’s usage.

Would someone writing down names of cops who’ve killed unarmed black/latinx people end up causing cops to crack down harder on those people or would it cause them to hesitate? If a whiny entitled dude kills every girl who rejects him, how would that affect everyone else? Should someone start dropping politicians advocating for things against their personal beliefs, would the government stop announcing certain ideas? Would there be an L-like person to connect all these deaths and suspect the unnatural element? Who knows!

Seriously, I think it has amazing potential to highlight a lot of issues from a lot of viewpoints. Broadcasting each of them, no sugar coating, no romanticizing, no extreme bias from the responsible parties (aka writers, directors, producers, etc), just a clear window into the random chosen person’s experience with a supernatural weapon and the sudden power to shift the balance. Maybe if the audience could plainly see another person’s view, it’ll stir more empathy in the world, or, at the very least, make them think about their own stances on certain subjects.

[twdixonimagine-blog]

Not alone//pt.2

Read part one here !

Info: Y/n ends up leaving Daryl and Merle and going on her own as being with Daryl was too much for her to handle.

Warnings: swearing

Y/n was pulled back into the complex, she screamed fearing she was next. It was only Daryl. He followed her to bring her back, but now he saved her life. He ran back up the steps with her behind him and locked his door.

“I know we ain’t on good terms, but whatever is goin on out there we can’t face alone”

It had been a few weeks, y/n stuck with Merle and Daryl on the road. Daryl and her weren’t on speaking terms. She kept all conversation survival based between her and the boys.

One morning y/n woke up before anyone else did. She stared down at a sleeping Daryl and smiled softly. Then a tear fell down her face. The things he said about her with Merle, was that how he really felt? Something in y/n made her believe that he did. She looked at him sleeping peacefully, chest rising and falling, hair falling towards the ground due to gravity.

She picked up a pencil and paper and wrote a note.

‘Dear, Daryl

I don’t want to leave, but it hurts me too much to be with you any longer. Those things yous said, I can’t help be think you meant. Even if it was just to impress your brother, I thought I meant more to you than that. I helped you in so many ways and you helped me. You made me a better, happier person but you broke me. It may be overreacting but I am entitled to my feelings. I’m leaving you two some food, I know you are strong enough to live without me. Don’t come for me, it’ll only hurt me more. I love you, y/n’

Tears fell onto the paper but she kept going. She set it down under Daryls’ bag and packed a bag. One last time she turned to him. She stroked his face softly before kissing his cheek.

“I love you, so much, Daryl Dixon” She whispered and got up, leaving her life behind.

When Daryl woke up, the first thing he noticed was her presence. He frantically looked from side to side and didn’t see her at all. He hoped that maybe she was only getting food or water and would be back soon.

“Where is she?” Daryl asked Merle

“I don’t fuckin know, why do you care? We needed to get rid of the whiny bitch” Merle scoffed and drank some coffee.

Daryl grunted and got up, he started packing a bag. When a piece of paper fell at his feet he picked it up out of curiosity. He read the note, blinking back tears.

“Where are you goin baby brother?” Merle asked.

“To get her back”

“She don’t give a rabbits ass about ya, give it up already”

“I’m going, whether you’re coming or not”

“Don’t waste your time waitin on me. Daylights’ burnin” Merle said nonchalantly, not thinking his brother would actually leave.

“Then you’re on your own” Daryl said and left into the woods.

As night was falling, Daryl grew worried. He was worried that he’d either not find her, or find her dead. But what he heard gave her some clue. He heard yelling and screaming but also cheering in the distance. He ran to the noise, crossbow drawn, knife ready if he needed a second option.

He found a circle of men, but he laid back not ready to take them all on for a stranger or a mutual kind of sick twisted party. He looked between the man and saw y/n on the ground, being kicked in the stomach.

“Have her bite the curb!” One man yelled.

Rage filled Daryl’s body hearing that. Now he was gonna mow them down, ending with that guy. He shot an arrow through the man who was blocking y/n. Then shot down two more men as they were figuring out what just happened. Three more men were left, Daryl came from the side, slitting ones’ throat and stabbed the other. The last man had y/n’s mouth on the curb, his foot next to her head, ready to stomp. Daryl had his crossbow raised at him.

“Do it, redneck” The man threatened.

Daryl launched the crossbow through his throat. The man fell to the ground and Daryl jumped on top of him. He took the arrow from his throat, blood splattering onto his face and clothes. He stabbed the man in the head, before removing it, cleaning it and putting it on his crossbow. When he turned around, y/n was getting up and trying to leave. She was very badly injured, couldn’t move fast.

“Y/n, stop and just, listen to me” He said.

She did. She didn’t face him, but he didn’t need her to.

“If I didn’t care about ya, would I have done that? I know what you think, but you aren’t thinking correctly. What I said was an ego thing, a man thing. I don’t mean that, I really do love you, y/n and I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I left Merle behind to come find you, I didn’t think twice about who was my top priority, so if you want to come back with me, without Merle, we can go. If not, I’ll follow you from a distance but I know I ain’t leavin ya. Like I said, we can’t do this alone” He spoke, tears welling in his eyes but not spilling over.

Y/n turned around, she smiled and the cut n her lip split back open, blood forming. She wiped it away.

“I love you, Daryl” She spoke in just above a whisper, her voice didn’t allow for much more due to her cries of help before.

“Let me see ya now, baby” Daryl mumbled and put a lit flashlight in his mouth. 

He saw a few bruises on her face, cut lip and nose. He then lifted up her shirt, her ribs were swollen and bruising.

“You might have a broken rib” Daryl spoke, his heart speeding up at those words “We gotta get you help” He grunted and picked her up carefully.

“You need help? I can help you” A shadow spoke in the distance.

Part three???

[sailormiyoung89]

I’m really looking forward to this read through because I bought the books a few years ago and then never ended up opening them. It was the end of Spring- beginning of Summer and there was a LOT of garden work to be done outside. Therefore I ended up listening to Roy Dotrice and his…interesting at times voices :D I also kind of ‘yada yada-d’ the first two books as I have watched the show and I knew that it had begun as very loyal to the books. So it should be interesting to see if I pick up more on a reread now that I can actually take my time reading through. One thing I will say though is talking about asoiaf makes me very uncomfortable. Which probably sounds weird but from my perspective, the fandom is so intelligent, I feel like I have nothing to add and am just blabbering on. So please bear with me to an extent and excuse me when I inevitably say some really dumb things.

The way I will be writing this up is I will be reading a chapter and writing a mini chapter review and then I’ll continue. Rather than reading a clump of chapters, forgetting details from ones I read closer to the start and writing one review on several chapters.  

Do keep in mind that I HAVE ‘read’ the books once and am up to date on the TV show so I can’t promise first time book readers that I won’t discuss spoilers.

I’ll put everything else under the cut! :D

 Prologue:

I found Waymar Royce a pretty interesting character. He’s arrogant and standoffish and a poor commander but not unintelligent which tends to accompany those kinds of characters. He was quick to point out that if the wall was weeping then it wouldn’t be cold enough to kill them. It was also interesting to see that George established so early on the ways that those in power can really screw over those underneath them.

One thing that I was wondering that didn’t make a lot of sense to me is that George doesn’t really call them ‘white walkers’ as much as he does ‘others’ and I was wondering why D&D changed it for the show? Calling them ‘white walkers’ just causes more confusion with ‘wights’ and George chose to call them Others because of the idea of ‘the great other’ and changing their name loses some of that.

 Bran I:

Bran was a great character to open up the series proper. As he’s so young and it’s his first time going with Ned to execute a deserter, we can gain a lot more exposition through Bran without it feeling very artificial.

Also, Robb is quick where Jon is fast? Maybe I’m being dense but is there a difference between being fast and quick?

Also, I feel like Theon wasn’t this awful in the show. Kicking around the head of the deserter and his quickness to kill the direwolves…so far book Theon is MUCH more unpleasant.  Also maybe I’m reading too much into this but is the one that Theon tried to kill Grey Wind? Robb hands baby Grey Wind and another of the pups to Bran to hold and it’s one of those that Theon tries to take from Bran and kill.

*edit I reread it and it’s probably Summer. I thought Robb was letting Bran hold Grey Wind but he just told him to pet him.

Also, let’s talk for a minute about the aging up of the characters in the TV show. I can understand why they did so for Dany; after all watching a 13 year old have sex with an adult on TV would be completely unacceptable. Not to mention they probably couldn’t film a sex scene with a teenage actor even if they wanted to. But I don’t understand why they made Jon and Robb the same age as Theon. With Theon being a good bit older than the other two lads, Robb and Jon obviously have a lot more in common and are much closer. Theon isn’t so much the outsider and the prisoner of war whereas you do get a bit more of that in the book. Making them all the same age in the show made them kind of interchangeable at the start; three lads of the same age growing up in the same family unit who’re probably friends. You certainly don’t get the sense that there’s much dislike between Jon and Theon.

Also one part towards the end of the chapter really stuck out to me.

‘“Can’t you hear it?”

Bran could hear the wind….but Jon was listening to something else.’

Jon then dismounts from his horse and find Ghost. What I found interesting was that we later find out that Ghost makes no noise. And it’s something that Jon can hear that Bran and the others cannot. Therefore I think that even in this first encounter with the wolves, Jon has ALREADY unlocked his connection with Ghost.

Catelyn I:

I love Caitlyn. On my first read-through, my favourite chapters were Cat, Sans and Cerseis’.

One thing I found interesting is when Ned tells Cat that ‘the man died well’, which is the same as what Robb said in the previous chapter, setting up the first parallel between Robb and his father. However in the previous chapter, Jon immediately disagrees with the notion that the deserter died ‘well’ or ‘bravely’ which is a notion that Bran seems to side with. And as our POV character for that chapter, we’re set up to side with Bran. So I certainly found that fascinating.

I also found it very interesting how early in the books the isle of faces is established as a place in Westeros in the South which also has weirwoods. Given the significance of the Isle of faces to most R+L=J theories and the significance of the weirwoods in future books it’s veeeeery interesting how quickly it was brought up as being a thing.  

It’s also quiet interesting how this is the second time we’ve seen Ned now and he’s very different in Catelyn’s eyes than he was in Bran’s. In Bran’s POV chapter we see Lord Stark of Winterfell whereas in this chapter he comes across pretty introverted and we really get a sense of him being a ‘quiet wolf’. The Stark and Lannister feud is also established very quickly when Ned describes the queen’s (whom he doesn’t refer to be name or title) family as an ‘infestation’. It’s also pretty funny how he goes on to say that no living man has seen an Other the chapter after he executed the deserter. I’m sure most people caught that particular piece of irony but I still found it amusing nonetheless.

Daenerys I:

I don’t really have a lot to say about this chapter to be honest. It’s a good chapter. I find Viserys and Dany to be an interesting parallel to Robb and Jon in the previous chapter. Viserys and Robb are both heads/future heads of their families. Both boys have these expectations of people. Robb insisting that the deserter died bravely, Viserys choosing to believe that Ilyrio is loyal to him and that he will retake the iron throne. They both have to project power and certainty. Whereas their younger siblings both see through that. Jon knows that Will was terrified. Deaneries hears what they are called in the streets, she mistrusts Illyria.

And this is going to sound weird considering that he literally ends the chapter saying that he would allow the entire khalasar to rape his sister, but a part of me also feels really awful for the life of fear and terror and running that Viserys would have experienced as a child. Not excusing his actions by any stretch but I do empathise with what he went through.

Another detail which I’m sure most people picked up on but I’m going to point out anyway is the golden collars and how Drogo is described as being so rich that all his slaves wear them and Daenerys is also given a golden collar and called a princess.

Also this chapter set up and name dropped SO MUCH. Stannis, the lord of light, Tyrells, Greyjoys, Unsullied, Elia Martell. I’m sure there are more that I missed but I think this is probably the chapter so far with the most setup, which is really interesting when you consider that Dany’s storyline is the most removed from the main story.

Eddard I:

While Daenery’s I was the chapter with the most set up, Eddard I is definitely the chapter with the most exposition so far. In this chapter we learn about Robert’s Rebellion, the Greyjoy Rebellion and how Theon came to be Eddard’s ward. It also hints at R+L=J and we’re also introduced to the crypts of Winterfell.

I never really paid much attention to the descriptions of weapons before but they’ve really grabbed my attention on this reread. In Bran I, we’re given a description of Ice and it’s described as being as wide as Robb and taller. Taller than a teenage boy. I don’t think we were given Robb’s height but he HAS to be at least 5’5. And yet despite the strength it must take to wield Ice, Ned can hardly even lift Robert’s warhammer. Which really says more about Robert’s strength than anything else George might have written.

Jon I:

Acrobatic Tyrion. Is this the dumbest thing that George has ever written? And it has NO plot significance. Unless Winds is released and we hear that Tyrion has been refining his abilities all this time and does a back flip onto a flying dragon or some shit.

Also, I have 0 time for entitled, whiny, bratty Jon. He is so mean about Myrcella. (I may or not be 10000% on the side of ‘protect all these small children in this asshole universe so I will always object when they’re treated horribly, particularly the really young kids). And I KNOW it’s supposed to highlight that highborn ladies are not the kind of women he’s into. And I KNOW he’s probably projecting his feelings about his relationship with Sansa onto Myrcella. But fuck you Jon Snow. You are so fucking whiny. You have absolutely 0 appreciation for how good your life is. As Catelyn is well aware, most men don’t bring their bastards home with them and raise them along with their other children. You have it really good compare to most others born in your position. And I can’t help but compare him to Dany who is brought up by her abusive brother constantly on the run. She had a much, much shitty childhood than Jon. And yet SHE doesn’t complain. The closest we get is towards the end when she tells her brother that she wants to go home….yeah so far I don’t like Jon very much at ALL.

Although I did find it interesting that his role model was Daeron Targaryen. Apart from the obvious Targ connection, Daeron was a terrible conqueror.

Moving on to his discussion with Tyrion at the very end of the chapter and George’s establishment of Tywin’s belief that Tyrion is the son of Aerys.

‘“You are your mother’s trueborn son of Lannister.”

“Am I?” The dwarf replied, sardonic. “Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he’s never been sure.”’

I’ve honestly never been a fan of the ‘____ is a secret Targ’ theories. But it’s certainly interesting.

Catelyn II:

I know that a lot of people hate Cat for her treatment of Jon. I am not in that camp. Of course I don’t think that it’s fair but given the world they live in, where bastards can be such a big problem in terms of succession rights, it’s understandable that she feels very threatened by this bastard child who is brought into the family, is of age with their firstborn and is treated equally to the other children (in her eyes). Catelyn is a smart, pragmatic woman. She is as well educated as other highborn. She knows about the Blackfyres. So rather than seeing him as a kid, she sees him as a threat to the lives and futures of her own children. It’s nothing personal against Jon himself. And in that situation, I don’t think there are many mothers who WOULDN’T treat him with hostility. If there’s anyone to blame for Catelyn’s treatment of Jon in this environment, it’s Ned. I definitely think that Ned should have trusted his wife with the truth. I know it’s a risky secret to entrust people with but he should have trusted Cat.

On another note, how fucking big are Luwin’s sleeves?!

“Luwin was always tucking things into those sleeves and producing other things from them: books, messages, strange artifacts, toys for the children”.

I’m just imagining that he’s put Hermione’s undetectable extension charm on his robes.

[ladylike-foxes]

How can anyone complain about our generation's "sense of entitlement"?  We are not lazy—we were raised to accept nothing less than the very best. 

We were raised to believe that respect, like trust, was not a right--but something you earned.

What we were preached to, as children:

"do unto others" as we would have done to us

"judge not by the color of one's skin"

"ALL men are created equal" 

"No means NO"

We grew up hearing stories from the elderly about how blind obedience was the reason for the horrors of the Nazi party; from the flower-children about how money is not as important as love and unity, from the Vietnam veterans about the horrors of war, and when to focus on the problems at home, and not in other countries.

The U.S. "won" the Cold War because, as, Mikhail Gorbachev attributed (though, I think perhaps unintentionally), we are a country built on 

"asserting the right of each people to chose its own government without being pressured by an imperial power." (as paraphrased by the Huffington Post)

The United States of America: A Government Of, By, and For The People! Land of the Free, Separation of Church and State, Religious Freedom, "We have to get the country's values back to the Constitution!"

And all of this was drilled into us by those of you who now claim we are unaware of how wonderfully we have it, that we are whiny and entitled and soft. "Jk, we only meant it when it falls in line with our beliefs! Silly kids!" I am dearly sorry to break this to you, but we are not soft: we are over your bullshit hypocrisy, say-one-thing-but-do-the-opposite politics.

Guess you created a monster, huh?