Payday 2 fills me with so much autism. I always forget how insane it makes me lmao i love her so much
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SHELDON KISSED AMY ON A TRAIN FOR VALENTINES DAY I REPEAT SHELDON KISSED AMY FULL ON THE LIPS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *people screaming cars crashing buildings burning down my leg my leg*
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reading up on autism to figure out what the fuck is going on with me and making a list of personal pros and cons to figure out whether i should feel good or bad about it. as one does
pros: hyperlexia, deeply compassionate, talent for mathematics and the sciences/can do calculations of reasonable complexity in my head, visual hypersensitivity/decent artistic ability when replicating from still life/good at distinguishing subtle colors, acute hearing/good at identifying distinct sounds and sonic textures/deeply moved by music, can rotate some shapes in my head really fast i guess
cons: people can tell something is "off" about me in a fraction of a second and will be anywhere from begrudgingly polite to overtly hostile about it, terminal "not like other girls" disease/feeling of disconnect with existing in a feminine body, can pace for hours on end until my legs hurt, frequent crying & shutdowns, talk about myself and my interests extensively and can't seem to find a way to stop or better relate to others outside of mirroring them, productive work that actually *utilizes* my talents seems to only happen in increasingly infrequent bursts of hyperfocus, recurring identity issues stemming from a fundamental feeling of being born wrong and belonging nowhere, visceral hypersensitivity means i'm in pain from the normal functioning of my own organs for most of the day, people have compared me to sheldon cooper and elon musk, i am constantly begging for the sweet release of death,
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god I wish I could be normal about media everyone please stop what your doing go to your local bookstore and get if we were villains it will fundamentally destroy you and change you forever I don’t know how to be a normal person now I will never be the same
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I was SO unwell about I've Got A Dark Alley last night that my friend had to check up on me. Like it was just playing on repeat for hours and I almost cried. Anyways I feel like tonight will probably destroy all the fobbies super bad. And I'll miss all of you so much. I'll miss the live updates so much as we all watch streams together. Let's all be friends forever? I'm making friendship bracelets as we speak for each and every one of you. This might sound a little silly but I've loved this band for years and I forget sometimes what it's like to be part of a community that also loves them. But I feel like fobblr welcomed me with its arms wide open. It's been so real. Watching these streams with everyone and constantly refreshing my dash has been SUCH a wild experience but I've loved every second of it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love you all so much and I never want this tour to end, but tonight is the night. I'm not ready for it. I don't think any of us are.
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Guess who took a half dose instead of a quarter dose of her adhd meds and, after listening to too much late 90s pop, decided she was going to elaborate on this post and make a full-on sequence out of it?
I thought about releasing the whole thing when I finished it but I'm honestly kind of hype how I did the water so I wanted to share.
So I guess I'll be releasing it in parts as I work on it and then the full thing when I'm done.
pg1 pg2 pg3 pg4
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