#i am insane for making 4 edits in a row whats wrong with me

[indomies]

NIALL HORAN ICON 300x300px

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! i was bored but i needed to do something. so i made 16 niall icons, 4 photos 4 designs. i hope you like them!

please reblog if you use or save them

credit is not necessary but you’re welcome to do so

all icons under the cut

i might take icon reqs in the future

[the-hidden-writer]

And Into The Fire

Chapter 4: A Not-Quite-Plan

Summary:

Months after the Mitchells saved the world, Linda gets a phone call asking if she’s seen two defective Pal MAX bots. Powerful people are after Eric and Deborabot 5000, and it’s up to the Mitchells to protect them.

Check reblogs for AO3 link!

A Not-Quite-Plan

An agent came running into the office just as Mark was about to take a sip of his coffee.

“Ma’am! We’ve got into #009181987!”

Agent Ward turned off her tablet and stood up immediately.

“About time!” She snapped. “Come on, Dr Bowman, this is where we need you.”

He barely had time to grab his coffee cup as she practically dragged him toward the door by his hoodie.

Ever since they’d locked onto the missing Pal MAX bots, Agent Jennifer Ward and her team had pretty much taken control of Pal Labs. Or at least the headquarters where Mark worked.

He’d spent the past week or so locked in his office with the scary Agent Ward herself. The tall woman had ordered him to come into work every day despite the complete CIA take-over of his company, just to keep up pretences for the public. And he also needed to be kept under supervision at all times for some reason. He was basically a prisoner.

Oh well. At least he had WiFi.

After pulling him out of his office (freedom at last!) Agent Ward led him down the stairs to the main work area, which was a large room filled with rows of computer desks.

At the very back of the room were two large screens on the wall. These were usually used for advertising and announcements, but recently they’d served another purpose.

Displayed on each screen was a status. Before now, they’d said the same thing. But for the first time in weeks, one was different.

Pal MAX #012041966 Status: UNRESPONSIVE

Pal MAX #009181987 Status: ONLINE

“Online?” Mark wondered aloud. “So you actually got into it, huh.”

Agent Ward scoffed. “Of course we did. Don’t doubt my team, Dr Bowman. Especially Agent Travis here.”

As if on cue, the young agent that had come to tell them the news before came rushing in through the door behind them, and almost glided straight into the wheelie chair next to the computer he’d been working on.

“Actually, we got through a couple of times.” Travis explained, huffing slightly from having to run. “But we got kicked out before we could change anything. This is the first time it looks stable and ready to be edited.”

“Well, these robots are based on AI.” Said Mark. “They’re not as simple to take down as ordinary machines.”

“Trust me, we know.” Agent Ward sneered. “That’s the reason we’re in this mess to begin with.”

She turned to her team, who all had their fingers poised over their keyboards ready to begin typing. “Delete any excess data and then start to rewrite the functional coding.” She ordered.

“Rewrite?” Mark had been under the impression that they would just delete it all to stop the robots for good. That’s what they were trying to do, right? “I thought-”

“Yes, rewrite. Anything more is classified.”

One of the agents raised their hands. “Uh, Ma’am? All the data here looks pretty messed up. Most of its data’s been built onto the errors presumably caused by defects, we have no idea what it actually does. There's words liked 'brother', 'mother'-”

“Do I need to repeat myself, Barker?”

Even though it wasn’t aimed at him, Mark couldn’t help but gulp at the way Ward was glaring at the poor agent.

“No Ma’am,” mumbled Barker, “sorry, Ma’am. We’ll start the rewrite.”

~-.-~

The three of them raced into the room with Monchi following close behind, probably because he was intrigued by all the commotion.

Linda didn’t want to believe it. Her robo-boys being sick was one thing, but fighting each other? That was truly unbelievable. They would never.

But unfortunately, it was just as Aaron said.

Deborahbot was kneeling on the bed with his back to the door, repeatedly hitting Eric’s screen by alternating between using the clenched fist of one hand and the open palm of another. There was a “clunk” sound with each impact, and Deborahbot showed no sign of stopping.

“Deborahbot!” Linda exclaimed incredulously.

The bot’s head turned 180° to face them but he did not cease the attack on his brother.

“Mother! Other Mitchells!”

“What are you doing?!” Demanded Rick, aggressively pointing at the bot in the bed. Aaron gripped onto the back of Linda’s pant leg in fear.

“I am more defective than my brother.” Deborahbot stated matter-of-factly, his calm voice sounding quite scary compared to the current violence he was inflicting. “I thought if he was more defective like me, he would be himself again.”

Rick waved his arms in annoyance. “That’s insane!”

“Deborahbot, stop hitting your brother right now.” Ordered Linda.

“Ok!”

Linda felt a small stab of guilt in her heart. Since they’d joined the family, they’d all tried their hardest not to order the bots to do anything. By phrasing things the wrong way, their programming would make them obey commands mindlessly, whereas the Mitchells just wanted them to be themselves. The longer the pair of them went without being given an order, the more their individual personalities shone through.

Deborahbot released Eric and stepped away. Two seconds later, once the command had been completed, he held out a warning hand to the family.

“Wait, Mitchells, stop!”

Linda was about to open her mouth to ask why, only she first noticed the movement on the bed.

Movement. On the bed.

Under the blanket, Eric looked like he was shivering. Or, more accurately, vibrating. The screen that had been full of color before was now its usual black self, and his red marker face was visible again. The only indication that anything was wrong was that the small LED in the corner of his screen was flashing an array of different colors.

“What’s happening to him?” Aaron asked from behind her, and Linda nodded to encourage Deborahbot to answer.

“I do not know for certain, but I think that the infiltrators have successfully entered my brother’s system.”

“You’re speaking normal again.” Commented Rick, though his cautious gaze was fixed on Eric, as if he would spring up and attack them at any moment.

“That is why I came to that conclusion.” Elaborated Deborahbot. “They have stopped attacking me, so they must be focusing more on him.”

Unlike earlier, Linda drew up the courage to approach Eric in the bed. His shaking was growing ever more violent by the second, and without Deborahbot keeping him down it was only a matter of time before he fell off the bed completely.

She gently placed a hand on his shoulder and made her voice as soft and calming as possible.

“Eric, honey?”

“Dear, be careful.” Rick warned from behind her but she chose not to listen.

“Can you hear me?”

It didn’t seem like he was going to respond. Feeling defeated, Linda was about to turn to ask Deborahbot what to do next when a voice spoke up.

“User recognised: Linda Mitchell.”

Eric’s voice was even more distorted than Deborahbot’s had been to the point where it was nearly unrecognisable.

“Uh, Mom?”

“Linda, get back!”

Linda understood exactly why her family was scared. The bots had never, not once, called her by her actual name. To not hear “Mother!” come out of Eric’s metaphorical mouth alarmed her, but still she couldn’t bring herself to step back.

“Brother?”

In a similar situation, the bots never called one another by their given names. It was always “Brother”. It only made them seem closer to one another in a way that the Mitchells themselves couldn’t be.

“Unknown user. Verify”

Aaron approached them with caution, one hand automatically searching for his mother’s own. She clasped it tightly.

“It’s like he’s gone back into robot-mode.” Said Aaron.

Linda squeezed his hand in agreement. Out of the two, it was Eric that always seemed more closely related to all the other Pal MAX bots for some reason. Still, Eric was their Eric, and not one of the mindless machines that tried to blast all of humanity into space.

Then a high-pitched whine echoed throughout the room without warning, causing the Mitchells (and Deborahbot, who mimicked them a second later) to cover their ears from the terrible noise. Monchi began to bark.

Once it died down, Rick frowned and used two fingers to massage his temple. “What the-”

“B-Brother!”

Rick snapped his mouth shut and all heads in the room turned to Eric, who was now sitting up straight on the bed.

“Brother!” Deborahbot called back in relief.

Eric's head twisted to face the three extremely shocked Mitchells.

“Mitchells!” Eric cried dramatically, his words accompanied by a more familiar glitch. “You are in danger. Pal Labs is taking over our systems, and it’s only a matter of time before-”

“I already told them all that.” Deborahbot interjected.

“Oh.” Eric muttered softly. “Aww.”

It put Linda a little at ease to see her boys’ dynamic return so quickly. That must mean things were getting better, right?

“Brother, what should we do?”

Deborahbot had always been reliant on Eric for decision-making. Linda had no idea how the bots managed to form such a human-like sibling relationship.

“They’ve already gotten to me.” Said Eric, solely addressing Deborahbot now. “It’s safer if you power me off until they stop. If you wait a while and they don’t, then you might have to go to Pal Labs and stop them yourself.”

Linda’s immediate thought was: No. She was not going to turn off her boy.

“How do we know if they’ve stopped?” Asked Rick.

Eric glitched before shrugging. “My brother might be able to tell you, but-”

He was interrupted by the return of the high-pitched whine. This time, Deborahbot did not cover his ears.

A few seconds later, Eric’s voice was distorted again.

“Status: online. Location-”

He did not get to finish his ominous speech as Deborahbot had quickly moved toward him and placed his hand under Eric’s head. After a few short seconds Eric’s screen went completely black with only his marker face remaining as he fell back onto the bed.

“Deborahbot!” Linda exclaimed in outrage. “Tell me you didn’t-”

“He told me a plan.” Deborahbot said nonchalantly. “First I had to power him off, then-”

“Yeah, we heard.” Scoffed Rick. “But that’s not really a proper plan.”

“It’s a start.” Aaron piped up. “I don’t really know what’s going on but I think the bots have it better together than you do.”

Linda bit the inside of her lip. She did not like how Deborahbot switched off his brother without permission. They were technically under 18 and therefore not adults, so Linda felt responsibility for their wellbeing and safety. She tried her best to keep quiet to avoid snapping at him.

“So... what now?” Asked Rick.

Deborahbot took a moment to look at his brother before turning to face the Mitchells again.

“I don’t want to wait.” He said blankly. “So I think that we should go to Pal Labs and tell them to stop now.”

Comments make my day! :)

[turtle-paced]

GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

This post is also available on my wordpress.

8.06 – The Iron Throne

Or, A Close-Up of Tyrion Lannister.

(1:59) Right, now that the best part of the episode is over (RIP clockwork credits), who’s ready for lots of shots of people walking around the rubble? Figurative and literal rubble? Shot of Tyrion starts here! Close up on Peter Dinklage, hooooold that close up, keep the background out of focus so we’ve only got the suggestion of the devastation he’s reacting to in the background…

(2:32) After holding that shot for thirty fucking seconds, we get to see what it is Tyrion’s reacting to. Dead kid in the rubble, in this case. Let’s just keep following Tyrion’s walking tour of the ruins of King’s Landing in complete silence, Jon and Davos trailing behind him.

(3:41) Still following people through the rubble. Skeletons visible, charred child’s toy because we didn’t get the point yet…

(3:57) We have dialogue! Whooo! And then we go right back to Tyrion walking through King’s Landing.

(4:58) You know, it’s remarkable how Lannister soldiers got a lot more attractive once the narrative allowed ordinary Lannister soldiers to be the victims of main characters. Seriously, go back and compare this lot to, say, any of the ones Arya came across in the season two-four era.

(5:45) Now we see a little bit of a conflict between the Northern forces and the Unsullied over the appropriate handling of the prisoners in the aftermath. Hang on to the thought for just a few minutes more.

(6:28) Speaking of character derailment, Grey Worm is also just here for the war crimes. That tiny little bit at the start of last episode where Dany hands over Missandei’s only possession to Grey Worm and he chucks it into the fire is the last we saw of either of their internal state of mind prior to both of them getting on the civilian/prisoner massacre train. After multiple seasons of these characters holding strongly to some sense of ideals and ethics (even if they’re not ethics you agree with!), through a lot of messed up bullshit, they just chuck all those ethics out here in the last two episodes.

(6:33) Tyrion continues walking through ruins.

(7:36) Cut to Tyrion walking through the ruined ground level of the Red Keep to Tyrion walking through the ruined secret passages of the Red Keep. Yes, that took more than a minute. Does anyone get the feeling there’s not actually much plot to this plot? Anyone feeling like we’re largely substituting shots of Peter Dinklage emoting over the ruins of King’s Landing for writing how Tyrion Lannister would react to the burning of King’s Landing?

The man can act. But nobody can act enough to make up for this sucking black hole of plot vacuity. And it blunts the impact of what’s coming up.

(9:19) Tyrion finds Jaime’s golden hand in the rubble of the mostly-uncollapsed tunnel. Shortly thereafter, he uncovers both Jaime and Cersei. A few metres to one side and they would have been fine.

Here is where we need to hold on Tyrion as he breaks down over the discovery of his siblings’ dead bodies. Here is where those tight close ups are going to have most impact. Unfortunately, of the eight minutes of episode, we’ve already spent about five of them with only Tyrion and Tyrion’s emotions to engage us as he walked through King’s Landing.

(11:00) Speaking of people walking through rubble, it’s Arya! The main difference between her in this episode and her in last episode is that she slowed her pace down from a run. Where’d the white horse she was riding go? Who knows. Off with the symbolism, we’ve got more symbolism to jam in here and we are not going to be as subtle as a white horse.

(11:33) Jon walks through Dany’s forces. First the Dothraki, all on their horses, arakhs bared despite the conflict ending. Then through the Unsullied, lined up in perfect rows with perfect armour including helmets, despite having been in a fight a couple hours ago.

Have you spotted what’s missing here? Because I have.

(13:05) See, now that’s symbolism! As Dany approaches her armies (wearing all black, natch), we get a shot of Drogon behind her so that it looks like his wings are emerging from Dany’s back! I haven’t seen symbolism this delightfully subtle since Man of Steel. Her Satanic Majesty indeed.

(13:33) We’re getting long pans over Dany’s forces, and this is where I am going to say it.

This is racist as fuck. It’s out of some fucking propaganda booklet somewhere.

We all understood (at least I hope we all understood) that when Cersei was talking about “hordes of Dothraki savages” etc etc in season seven, that was an in-universe racist dogwhistle. She was appealing to the xenophobia and racism of Westerosi lords to rally support to her own cause. And here in season eight, we see that when Cersei was talking about savage hordes etc etc, she was actually correct. Completely, 100% correct. The in-universe racism was validated by the plot. We did not get “each side is bad, because that’s war in a feudal setting” (like we did when it was mostly white people in conflict with other white people). We got soft-looking Lannister soldiers and white civilians killed in the streets, and now we’re panning over the armies that did it, almost entirely PoC. The Dothraki cheering is the only background noise, so you can be sure that it’s meant to sound foreign and alarming. The Unsullied are damn well stormtroopers, dehumanised in their discipline and in their uniformity. The shots are denying them faces.

Meanwhile, the white Northerners (who absolutely participated in the slaughter last episode) are nowhere to be fucking seen. Now that we’re showing the eeeeeeeevil that is Dany’s cause fully unveiled, with the speeches in a “foreign language”, the black outfits, the black and red banners, the whole shebang, the white people other than Dany aren’t fully participating. We’re getting white people as victims, or mysteriously missing from shots of the bad guys, and the people of colour as the bad guys, their otherness emphasised through direction and mise en scene.

Even with the plot points the showrunners wanted (which are bad enough on their own), they did not have to do this like this. Depicting the Unsullied as battle-worn human beings as opposed to Stormtrooper Evil Robots was an option. Including the Northern forces in the shots of the new bad guys was an option. Reminding people that the Lannister army is not a war-crime-free zone was an option. Casting the King’s Landing crowds as more racially diverse was an option. Not introducing and contextualising this conflict with naked xenophobia and racism was an option.

They did not do any of this. There are so many ways they could have done something that did not vindicate the in-universe racists. Instead we’ve got this fucking lazy, fucking racist shortcut of “these guys are the bad guys and you can tell because they’re not white and European-coded.”

(13:54) The other thing to note here is that Dany is now perfectly put together. She’s brushed her hair. She’s wearing clean clothing. She’s perfectly serene. We’re no longer getting the way-too-close ups to indicate a precarious emotional state. In other words, the show has dropped the indications that Dany is insane even more abruptly than it introduced them. Hold the thought.

(14:57) The Unsullied are not allowed emotional expression anymore, because now they are evil robots who do war crimes. This goes for Gray Worm (addressed conspicuously with the translation of his name, rather than the immediately-audible reminder that ‘Gray Worm’ was a slave name) who gives half a smile, and the Unsullied at large, who tap their spear butts on the ground in lieu of cheering.

(15:33) Ah, the other sign that Dany is an irredeemable monster. She wants to liberate slaves. For fuck’s sake, the woman firebombed a major city without any sort of justification last episode, that’s the evil part. Not the bit where she wants everyone to live in freedom. And yet we’re getting the ominous music and the serious reaction shots from reasonable white men over this as well.

(17:20) Tyrion freed Jaime? Yeah, Dany, wait until you hear what Tyrion promised regarding Highgarden, it’s a bit of a plot hole.

(17:47) Tyrion tenders his resignation, effective immediately.

(18:29) He is also arrested.

(19:19) Arya, last seen at the back of the crowd, does a bit of mild teleporting to arrive next to Jon as he watches Dany walk away. Just so you know why Arya’s there and what she’s doing.

(20:09) Strong contender for the stupidest line of the series, right here. I know that I didn’t think I’d hear one to match the infamous “bad pussy” line. Arya, about Dany, after the latter burned down a city on her giant fire-breathing dragon, in full daylight and in front of three full armies: “I know a killer when I see one.”

(20:40) Oh. Joy. This scene. I have not been looking forward to recapping this scene. If that last line was stupid, this scene brings stupid and offensive to the table.

(21:10) Ah yes, Tyrion betrayed Varys. That pure, innocent angel Varys, who used children in his plots to murder monarchs. As we all know, Varys’ motives were noble, and so this excuses the fact that he risked a child’s life in an assassination attempt.

(21:28) Oh yeah! Remember when Jon was resurrected? That affected a lot of things, didn’t it? A major player in the metaphysical and political arenas, that’s Jon Snow!

(22:37) “She liberated the people of Slaver’s Bay. She liberated the people of King’s Landing. And she’ll go on liberating until the people of the world are free…and she rules them all.”

Okay, there’s a bit to unpack here, because the show is smushing some concepts together.

First up is the implied equation of Dany’s actions in Slaver’s Bay to her actions in King’s Landing. I mean, forgive me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall Dany burning Meereen to the ground. When last we saw the Meereenese theatre, it was left with the implication that she’d left a reasonably stable outfit in charge. With the implication that the slaving powers in the region had been broken. (How plausible the depiction was is another matter.) Dany just fucking set fire to King’s Landing. These two things…really aren’t that much alike. Show!Dany liberated Slaver’s Bay. She murdered King’s Landing. We can make a pretty clear distinction between her actions in each respective place. They should not be lumped in the same category.

Nor do her actions in Slaver’s Bay logically lead to her actions in King’s Landing. We’ll get into the thinking behind this part of the line when the showrunners make this connection even more explicit and offensive.

Second, just chucking in that “world domination” thing at the end. Again we’re getting this core idea that because Dany is willing to use violence to achieve idealistic ends, she’s necessarily a power-hungry tyrant in her own right. To say nothing of the leap between “Dany wants to rule the Seven Kingdoms” to “Dany wants to take over the world.” Especially given the alleged basis for Dany’s desire for the Iron Throne, i.e. she considers it her birthright. Since she believes she’s entitled to one piece of pie (debateable), she will inevitably attempt to take the entire pie.

(23:02) “It was vanity to think that I could guide her. Our queen’s nature is fire and blood.” Oh, gag me with a spoon. What happened to the word “counsel” or “advise”? Because the use of the word “guide” is a lot more teacher-student dynamic, with Tyrion in the position of power. Dany’s a grown goddamn woman, a queen for years before Tyrion came along, who hired him to advise, not to teach. Hell yeah it’s vanity!

But more than that, it’s so fucking condescending. Oh, tragic little Daenerys, who needed a man’s guidance, but succumbed to her essential nature of uncontrolled violence. This doesn’t even frame Dany’s decision to burn a fucking city as her decision. News flash: there is no dark side of the force making a puppet out of show!Dany, show!Dany made her evil decisions independently. For shitty, poorly-explained, poorly-thought-out, poorly written reasons, yes, but there we go.

(23:07) Jon addresses the bullshit “we are definitely our parents” argument.

(23:23) Which Tyrion responds to by saying “dude, did you see how many people she killed?” Which doesn’t actually address the fucking issue. He’s still arguing that Dany = Mad Queen = totally a Targ thing. Remarkably, it’s like the characters in-universe can’t think of a convincing reason for this plot development either.

Speaking of, how many people did Cersei kill? It’s like she committed some sort of atrocity, perhaps at the end of season six, that by rights should have turned all of Westeros against her to the point that everyone should have been overjoyed to see an alternative ruler show up.

(23:45) But what the conversation as a whole drives towards is this central point: Dany is evil. Not crazy. Evil. Which makes the last two episodes, with their hysterical woman bullshit, even more purely gratuitous. And also emphasises just how abrupt that fucking heel turn was. Episode three, Dany, saving humanity! Episode five, Dany, burning down a whole city because she doesn’t think John Smith of 3 Main Street, King’s Landing, is woke enough!

(24:24) “What does it matter what I’d do?” Jon asks. Hey, a good question. What have Jon’s decisions mattered thus far this season?

(24:31) And here it is, maybe the lowest moment in the series, as far as I’m concerned, and it’s got some stiff competition.

“When she murdered the slavers of Astapor, I’m sure no one but the slavers complained. After all, they were evil men. When she crucified hundreds of Meereenese nobles, who could argue? They were evil men. The Dothraki khals she burned alive? They would have done worse to her. Everywhere she goes, evil men die, and we cheer her for it. And she grows more powerful and more sure that she is good and right.”

Where to even start? The echoes of Niemoller’s famous First they came…? Sure! Why not. First Daenerys came for the slavers, and the only people who spoke out were other slavers. Then Daenerys came for other slavers, and nobody spoke out, because they were slavers. Then Daenerys came for a third group of slavers who incidentally threatened to rape her, and nobody spoke out, because they were slavers, who incidentally threatened to rape her and in every instance we can see why someone might violently oppose slavers. Meanwhile, in a key difference from First they came…, the people who are being “come for” are persecuted parties (in the context to which the text refers, keep that in mind with the Communists). Not the oppressors. Portraying the slavers as the injured parties here, and not, like, the central problem in all thistakes some fucking nerve. Or some serious moral blindness.

Next, the attack on the audience. Shame on them for delighting in seeing evil fought! Successfully as well! Shame! Where’s my shame bell?

For the most part, the show framed most of Dany’s actions in Essos as just and positive. In later seasons, we saw Dany take violent actions. But at every step of the way to this point, the show did keep in sight that Dany was fighting fucking slavers. Her end goal was securing freedom for the former slaves. While the show from time to time questioned her means, up until oh, season eight episode four, her ends were portrayed as noble. So to start questioning those ends now, here in the final two episodes of the entire series, is a little jarring. Especially since, as mentioned beforehand, we haven’t seen any signs of Dany conflating “free people from tyranny” with “take over the world, mwahahaha” until her very scary speech just then. At most, she was conflating “free people from tyranny” with “defeat Cersei and assume rule of Westeros.” Which, given that Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor with more than a hundred people inside, would seem, y’know. Fair enough to think that defeating Cersei would be freeing people from tyranny.

The viewer was not wrong to think that show!Daenerys had good intentions for the vast majority of this show. Yes, she also had personal ambitions and character flaws. The viewer was not wrong to think that the show wanted us to support Dany’s apparent ambitions of freeing people and overthrowing the dynamite-happy Cersei. Here in season eight, episode six, the show is trying to gaslight its own viewers with this “it was there all along!” horseshit.

Finally, the politics. Fighting evil makes you evil, don’t you know. Making an oppressor stop makes you just as bad as the oppressor, in the end. Do what show!Tyrion does, both in season six with the slavers and in seasons seven and eight with Cersei, and continue making futile appeals to an enemy who’s repeatedly taken advantage of peaceful processes. That’s how you stop injustice.

Even on what the show itself has shown us: that is some horse. shit.

In short, the writing here is bad and the politics are worse.

(25:25) “Wouldn’t you kill whoever stood between you and paradise?” What a wacky utopian notion Dany’s got in her head, a world without slavery.

Also, weird question, because no is a valid and reasonable answer to Tyrion’s question. Or perhaps not so weird, when you consider that the show has been pretty reliable in saying yes, the ends do justify the means. The exception is when someone gets one of the aforementioned wacky utopian notions in their head. You know. Killing children is bad, slavery is evil, feudal monarchy isn’t any great shakes…things like that.

(26:05) “I love her too,” Tyrion says. This was…kinda set up. Kinda. The staring as Jon went to Dany’s rooms at the end of season seven, the fact that Tyrion’s not patronising sex workers any more – that equals love. First, though, I’m not feeling it, because Tyrion’s spent very little personal time with Dany. Most of his interactions with her have been all business, and most of his business has been disagreeing with her about serious moral and ethical issues. Staring is not a substitute for character interaction.

I also find this pretty superfluous. Like, it’s not enough that Tyrion’s boss went nuts and killed an entire city, including his siblings, he has to be in love with her as well. He couldn’t have just genuinely believed in Dany’s good intentions and her ideals, he had to be in love with her. And again, Dinklage can act, but nobody can act well enough to make up for a script that just hasn’t done the work.

(27:13) What I’m noticing at this point is that in a scene that is all about suggesting to Jon that he may need to put down his girlfriend, Jon’s barely said a damn thing. He got in a few lines about people not being their parents, but mostly he’s just let Tyrion exposit about his philosophy and his emotions. The scene gets across how Tyrion feels…but not Jon.

(27:43) So just to confirm, yes, Tyrion is asking Jon to kill Dany.

(28:41) “And your sisters?” Tyrion asks Jon as he’s halfway out the door. Bran who?

(28:57) Another reminder that the only logical reason Sansa told Tyrion about Jon’s parentage is to put him forward as a Dany-alternative, despite telling her because it mattered a lot to him that he could be open with his family (a sign of how much he values their relationship), despite his requests for her to keep it secret for political reasons, and despite his personal opposition to becoming king. Show!Sansa…is not a very nice person.

(29:23) Jon walks down a corridor.

(29:43) Oh, thank goodness, that was only twenty seconds of Jon walking places before we saw something different and interesting. Remarkable restraint. Incidentally, I’m pretty sure this is supposed to be snow and not ash.

(31:04) Dany approaches the Iron Throne, fulfilling the show’s take on the House of the Undying prophecies. No, that does not mean the show was always headed for Dany becoming the ultimate villain. It’s just a better retcon than Arya killing the Night’s King.

(31:44) Now this is a better use of people-walking-places shots. It’s not just the one shot of a person walking down a hall, it’s watching someone walk towards an object with significance in a setting which has recently changed dramatically. The time we spend watching Dany walk towards a a chair here lets us see those changes and process the culmination of her ambitions.

Or continue screaming in outrage, take your pick.

(33:41) Jon Snow, finally emoting! Finally expressing an opinion! About bloody time, mate.

(34:56) In this scene, Dany is worlds away from the angry, dishevelled, heavy-breathing figure she’s been for the last two episodes. She’s back to perfect grooming. She’s smiling. She shared a story about her childhood with Jon. Much like with Cersei, we’re spending the final moments of Dany’s life emphasising Dany as a woman, just happy to be spending some time with her boyfriend. Ha ha, joke’s on her, her boyfriend is going to kill her. More on this in just a second.

By the way, it would still have been offensive if Dany was in mwa-ha-ha, burn them all mode, or in the same state she was in at the start of episode five. This is because the central decision here, to make Dany a villain due to her idealism (in some fucked up notion that fighting for a better world is itself a slippery slope), was offensive. Also poor writing.

(35:11) “How do you know it’ll be a good world?” Jon asks, and Dany replies “Because I know what is good.”

(35:33) Plus “They don’t get to choose,” Dany says, in a way too perfect echo of the conversation Tyrion just had with Jon. Okay, joke’s over, who replaced Dany with Tyrion’s straw man? We need to get on with the actual finale now.

(36:17) Dany basically proposes to Jon. They start kissing.

(36:33) Then Jon stabs her. While they’re making out.

This is so many terrible, misogynistic storytelling devices rolled into one. Again before we hit the issue of shitty writing decisions. Dany’s gone mad with power! Her reasonable boyfriend must save her from herself. If only she were in her right mind, she would doubtlessly agree. Dany was killed by her boyfriend in a moment of physical intimacy! Oh, uh, wow, that might not look so great huh – better justify it with her mass murder of civilians. The real tragedy here is how it affects the men who love Daenerys! Not the woman who got fucking murdered.

(36:41) And Dany dies without a hair out of place, a trickle of blood from her mouth and another from her nose. No inconvenient protesting, either. Very neat, very clean. 10/10 for tidiness.

So I’m on to the thing about gendered character deaths! So many female characters killed off in ways meant to emphasise some aspect or another of their femininity. Melisandre is a good, recent exception. Margaery and Olenna Tyrell, Obara and Nymeria Sand, they escaped gendered deaths.

Cersei died begging for her boyfriend’s comfort. Catelyn, Selyse Baratheon, and Ellaria Sand all died with trauma over the deaths of their children. Myrcella Baratheon died just as she accepted that she was Jaime’s daughter. Tyene Sand was killed to cause her mother pain. Talisa Maegyr was graphically stabbed in her stomach to emphasise that her unborn child was being killed as well. Shae was killed by her ex-boyfriend, focus on him as he mourned the fact that he had to kill her. Ygritte died in Jon’s arms – and now Daenerys does the same. That is a lengthy list of dead female characters dead in ways connected to their familial and/or romantic relationships. This is what we call a pattern. A pattern that repeatedly emphasises that a woman’s death isn’t her own death. It recalls the value she had for others, but not her value in and of herself.

Finally, a note on Dany’s characterisation. Because in amongst all the misogyny, there was also some character writing that would have been shitty whether or not it was also sexist.

Most of Dany’s character has been subject to a giant retcon. Daenerys was a good and caring ruler when it suited the plot, freeing slaves, deciding to fight the Others. And she was a ruthless tyrant when it suited the plot, going from “fighting the Others” to “becoming fantasy Hitler” in the space of two episodes. The wildly divergent and contradictory aspects of this character were not reconciled through any sort of internal journey, but cherry-picked according to the external plot circumstances, the gaps in characterisation covered by “but she’s crazy! Don’t expect consistency!” Until she was evil instead of crazy, here at the end, despite what came before.

(37:16) Shockingly, we’re focusing on Jon as he cries over the body of his girlfriend, who he just murdered in an intimate moment. This moment brought to you by the writers who focused on Tyrion as he killed Shae and on Theon as Sansa was raped. This is also a thing we call a pattern.

Jon hasn’t even had the character writing to sustain this moment. He’s barely said anything but “she’s my queen” all season. He’s barely had a character all season. So the sexism in this entire narrative can’t even be somewhat ameliorated (YMMV) by a successfully-executed tragedy. Jon’s interiority has been pretty well ignored, which means that the conflict here is that “Jon loves Dany, but Dany is very evil.” Ignoring Jon’s interiority here means that this plot point has nothing at all to say about right and wrong or the meaning of family in order to distract us from the misogyny of eeeeeeevil woman loses control and must be killed by her boyfriend for the good of everyone. There’s no garnish of quality execution on this fundamentally messed up plot.

I suppose in some ways that’s a relief. In others…the writers can’t even do wrong, right.

(37:41) Drogon approaches Jon, who’s still crying over Dany’s body.

(38:30) The moment as Drogon nudges at Daenerys’ body is actually sad.

(38:58) Drogon rears back, roaring. Jon’s not going anywhere.

(39:17) Psych! Drogon’s not burning Jon, he’s burning the Iron Throne! If you thought the dragon wings behind Dany were subtle and artful, you haven’t seen anything yet.

(39:42) So Drogon melts down the Iron Throne entirely. Doesn’t do anything to Jon. Leaves Jon alone entirely. Just slags the throne.

(41:06) Then takes Dany’s body and flies the hell out of there. Hopefully to a story with more respect for its female characters. Or, indeed, the concept of characters, characterisation, character development…the list goes on…

(41:51) Cut to Tyrion lying on a floor. It’s a very close shot. We’ve only got his face. We don’t know when this is, or where he is.

(42:17) After nearly thirty seconds of this, Tyrion lifts his head. Nearly thirty seconds!

(42:34) Why we didn’t start the scene here, with Tyrion actually going places, is beyond me. Because the chains around Tyrion’s wrists weren’t enough of a clue that he was still imprisoned, we had to see him lying on the floor for thirty seconds, and then Grey Worm come and get him?

Mind you, it’s a bit of a nostalgia trip. How many more shots of Tyrion walking places are we going to get in this series? We’re nearly at the end here, folks.

(42:50) Or here! Here’s a good place to pick up as well, as Tyrion and Grey Worm arrive places! The Dragonpit, incidentally. Call back to 7.07 with lots of people walking around and not actually doing much plot stuff.

(43:11) Quick pan over the people here, including a bunch of blasts from the past. Aside from the Stark delegation, we’ve got Edmure Tully! Who’s still a guy who exists in this show! Brienne and Davos are here too, mostly because they are named characters, I think! Gendry’s come down and is not sitting next to or otherwise interacting with Arya, because now that Arya rejected his proposal there’s no actual characterisation involved in his appearance. There are a few more randoms. Yara Greyjoy! Someone in Dornish clothes, not that the integrity of the Dornish plot mattered at any point! The gang is all here!

(43:34) “Where’s Jon?” Sansa asks. Pssst, girl, this is a meeting for characters with consequence. Jon’s got no business here.

(43:39) So Jon’s a prisoner, Tyrion’s a prisoner, but Tyrion is here and Jon is not. For reasons that are no more than “because reasons.” Sansa, stop pointing out the inconsistencies, artificialities, and writing decisions made at the direct expense of other characters and logical plotting all involved in giving Tyrion one last monologue! You’re ruining it!

(43:58) Now that Grey Worm points out that the Unsullied, who have had custody of Jon and Tyrion both for an undetermined but presumably multi-week period of time, wish to harm Jon and Tyrion for their actions towards Dany…why haven’t the Unsullied done anything about Jon and Tyrion?

(44:29) Once again we get Grey Worm addressed by the foreign language version of his name, because we are dehumanising the Unsullied and keeping their slave pasts out of view!

(44:44) “The people who used to live [in the Reach] are gone.” I mean, what the fuck do you even say to this? It’s just – there’s no worldbuilding to it. In the entirety of the show, there’s been like one battle in the Reach – the telefrag stomping Jaime delivered last season. That’s it. That’s all. Bam, the people are gone, because that’s what’s most convenient for this particular scene.

(45:11) “You are not here to speak,” Grey Worm yells at Tyrion. Because Tyrion is a prisoner. This is not going to stop anyone, least of all the writers. They have a monologue, they have a favourite character, and this is their last fucking chance.

(45:34) A shot over at the Vale delegation shows us Lord Royce and Sweetrobin Arryn, the latter of whom is also still a guy who exists in this show. Anyhow, Tyrion’s redirected the conversation to the fact that Westeros is currently leaderless.

(45:44) It apparently has not occurred to this group of feudal lords and ladies, all of whom are upset in some way, shape, or form by the King in the North killing Queen Daenerys Targaryen, that they should at some point get around to working out who’s going to be in charge.

This is such unbelievably terrible writing and plotting. After eight seasons of people fighting over power, we’ve got a roomful of people who have been intimately involved in that struggle for power, and they have to be reminded about the leadership vacuum in the only form of government any of them are willing to accept and reminded of their own agency. None of these characters are behaving like people in this scene, informed by their past experiences and their society. They are walking, talking props for Tyrion’s/the writers’ monologue.

It doesn’t matter how good the central monologue is. If every other fucking character in the entire fucking scene has to cease being a character – something in the writing has to change.

If, of course, your aim was to write a good story.

(45:54) “Make your choice, then,” Grey Worm says, referring to ‘who should rule’, and none of these people apparently have any opinions.

(46:14) Still got time for a joke at Edmure’s expense! Sorry, man, you are amongst the many, many characters who the show did real dirty.

(47:04) Sam Tarly, also here because he’s a named character.

(47:18) A full minute gag at Edmure’s expense. Seriously, there’s hardly any plot here.

(47:30) Now that we’ve seen Sam, he speaks up, and proposes another wacky idealistic notion. Democracy, am I right? But Sam’s fine, morally speaking, because he’s not actually going to fightfor it. He’s just going to put it out there as an idea, have it be laughed at, and make no follow up.

(48:24) The first person to be asked if he wants the crown is Tyrion. Why. Again, worldbuilding! The show hasn’t done much discussion of who inherits Tywin’s lands and titles. The title “Lord of Casterly Rock” is going to go unmentioned. We’re still ignoring the fact that Tyrion’s a prisoner accused of treason. No matter how nice it is to see that this group of lords and ladies aren’t going to hold Tyrion’s disability against him, it does run a bit counter to the established prejudice he faced in earlier seasons.

(48:37) The next thing that happens is someone asking Tyrion for his opinion on who should rule. Because again, this is a thing that nobody present has opinions on. “Who should rule?” is one of those obscure points of law that you can only expect a nerd to deep-dive into the archives and come back with some heavily footnoted proposal, and not a pressing and present concern for a group of feudal nobles trying to rebuild in the midst of a devastating winter and following the conclusion of equally devastating years-long war over that exact goddamned question.

It also bears repeating: why are they asking Tyrion? Tyrion, who is a prisoner (Grey Worm totally having forgotten that he’s not here to speak), and whose advice to Dany was spectacularly useless at its best.

This isn’t even Tyrion taking over through force of personality. Literally every other character present has been silenced by the writers to provide Tyrion with this one last chance to monologue.

This has been a recurring problem in this series. Over the course of the show, the showrunners have brought in some incredibly talented people! Yay! There’s some meaty stuff in this series which talented actors can do a lot with! Unfortunately, the showrunners started giving certain actors too much opportunity to show off. They gave us too much of a good thing. The desire to keep, say, Lena Headey or Iwan Rheon around another season opened up plot holes. The screen time given over for Jerome Flynn or Diana Rigg to banter cut from time that could have been used to develop the world and the story. And now, we’re resolving one of the central questions of the series – who should rule – not with a dialogue arising from the developed perspectives of the surviving cast over eight season, but with a monologue from a character and actor the writers have already heavily favoured. At the expense of every other character in the scene, and therefore every other actor.

(48:45) Tyrion confirms that it has been weeks since Dany was killed. Weeks. And nobody has an opinion about who should rule. Nobody’s done anything about it. Complete paralysis. For weeks.

(49:27) “What unites people? […] Stories.” So it’s not just a monologue, it’s an incredibly on-the-nose, self-congratulatory monologue. Is this Tyrion Lannister speaking, or David Benioff and Dan Weiss?

(49:45) “And who has a better story than Bran the Broken?”

Is this a rhetorical question?

Also, “the Broken”, ugh, seriously? Must we?

(49:52) Anyway, Tyrion continues on, proving to us for the purposes of the scene that it was not actually a rhetorical question. Bran’s story in the show as a whole was so compelling that he got booted from an entire season and his supporting cast was killed off or unceremoniously seen off home mid-season. Bran’s characterisation for the last two seasons has been so flat the the character says he doesn’t want anything and this is entirely believable. Bran’s such a presence in the narrative that when Tyrion himself begged Jon to think of what he stood to lose if the Starks opposed Dany, he didn’t even mention Bran.

What have we been told here, and what have we been shown?

(50:30) “Who better to lead us into the future?” Again, is this a rhetorical question? Just because the characters got their brains forcibly shut off doesn’t mean same happened to the viewers.

(50:49) “That is the wheel our queen wanted us to break.” Was it, though? Was it really? I wasn’t hearing much about hereditary monarchies from Dany, and a bit more about people living in peace and freedom. Not much more, but mostly I’ve been putting that down to a failure in the writing to portray Dany’s agenda, rather than the narrative intentionally depicting a character whose agenda was poorly-developed.

(51:01) Somehow, this gets even more outrageous when Tyrion, who people are still listening towithout so much as a squeak of protest, says that rulers will no longer be born but elected by the nobility. Hey, we have someone here familiar with that form of governance – Yara Greyjoy, any opinions? What did you think about the last elected king of the Iron Islands? Edmure, Lord Royce, you compared letting peasants vote on rulers to be like letting animals vote, what do you think about Davos having a say in the monarchy? Or people like the recently-legitimised and ennobled Gendry?

(51:25) Tyrion approaches Bran and here we see Bran’s true worthiness to rule – he doesn’t want to, and he doesn’t care about power. So he’s definitely someone who will be careful with the power he has. We’ve seen this when Bran was so very sensitive in bringing up Sansa’s rape to her, and so very kind when telling Meera to go home because their paths had diverged. He was very careful in using his omniscience in those cases.

(51:37) Bran, who is being nominated to be king apparently against his wishes, sits there and listens to Tyrion’s speech without batting an eyelid. That’s how indifferent to power he is. And apparently how indifferent to human emotion he is.

(51:49) Unbelievably, it gets worse. Bran says, “Why do you think I came all this way?” Which implies that he foresaw these events. Which implies he foresaw the burning of King’s Landing. We don’t know when exactly he foresaw it, but with what we know about the extent of show!Bran’s powers, I think it’s a pretty solid implication that he saw the whole fucking thing.

Which means he a) saw the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and did nothing to even try and stop it, and b) saw his brother murder someone he loved, from what he believed was genuine need (go with it) and did nothing to even try and stop it. If this is so, how is Bran not an absolutely terrible human being, both on the micro scale (refusing to step in to try and spare his brother pain) and the macro scale (how many people died in King’s Landing)?

Moreover, how is such a fatalist fit to rule? Bran foresees a flood that will strike a populated area and affect a great deal of a harvest. What does he do about it?

(52:02) Tyrion votes for Bran to be king. On what grounds does Tyrion vote? He’s a bound prisoner! Nobody’s even said yes to voting!

(52:14) Sam Tarly starts off the round of inexplicable agreement.

(52:34) It’s interesting how Tyrion’s in the centre of the shot, here. What’s actually being judged here is not Bran’s worth as king, but Tyrion’s proposal.

(53:18) Sansa here says that she still wants Northern independence. Even though it’s her brother on the throne. So again, we see that she’s not after national agency (which the North could probably expect with a Northerner on the throne) but personal agency and national separatism. I’m sympathetic to Sansa’s desire for personal agency.  I’m less sympathetic to the separatists who were happy to accept southern and Essosi help when they needed it and unwilling to give back even common courtesy.

We’ve got people from regions with historical and current reasons for desiring independence present – do Yara Greyjoy and the Guy of Dorne have any opinions on Sansa’s actions? Hell, does anyone else here have any opinions on putting a Stark on the throne when the rest of the Starks are taking their bat and ball and going home, leaving the collective family with the perks of rule and none of the responsibilities or shared duties? Grey Worm, any thoughts?

(53:56) No, stop, fuck this “broken” shit. Of all the people who should fucking well understand what it is to be defined by derogatory terms for one’s disability. Tyrion Lannister, folks. Tyrion Lannister.

(54:28) Tyrion is rewarded with the Handship, because this scene was not about Bran. It wasn’t even about Westeros. It was about Tyrion.

(54:55) Now Grey Worm has an opinion.

(55:21) Hello, Jon! Remember when you were relevant? Remember when you were a character? Tyrion comes in with the news that Jon’s been exiled to the Night’s Watch. How poetic, he’s going full circle.

But…what’s changed, here? Jon originally went to the Watch because he felt distanced from his family, acutely aware of how his very existence was an inconvenience to others, intending to make his own place in the world. Now, Jon’s being actually exiled to the Watch, distanced from his own family, because his existence is an inconvenience to others. He still doesn’t have that place in the world that he wanted. At best he’s got a second chance, but man, what a half-assed conclusion.

It also just cements in how fucking irrelevant everything about his character was. What was the point of his parentage? What was the point of his death and resurrection? What was the point of his relationships with his siblings? What was the point of his social class? What was the point of his promotion to king? What was the point of the things he learned beyond the Wall? I’ll have a few final words on some of that in a bit.

(56:02) Grey Worm wanted more than just exile for Jon, but accepted the justice of Jon’s exile. And kept him in a dungeon for weeks beforehand, despite being the man in charge, without harming a hair on his head…why?

(57:39) Once again we’re changing it up and watching Jon Snow walk places.

(58:09) Thankfully, we’re changing up the angles. We see Jon pass a few other Watchmen, we see a shot of Dany’s fleet departing Westeros. We follow Jon on the docks as he passes Dothraki. This is way better walking-places shots, because it’s not just a picture of a man walking, it’s a picture of a man walking through a setting. For these shots, the showrunners have thought about what they wanted to say about the setting as well as the person walking through it.

(58:48) Grey Worm looks down at Jon.

(59:08) The Unsullied are heading to Naath, like Grey Worm promised Missandei. Nice that the Unsullied get faces again, though.

(59:44) Jon’s siblings head out to see him off. First Sansa, who confirms she’s staying in the North. There are hugs as the Winterfell theme plays.

(1:00:41) Then we get confirmation that Arya’s not staying in the north, to the point where she does not expect to see Jon again. This is…aaaaaargh.

(1:00:57) Arya wants to find out what’s west of Westeros. Okay. That’s a thing she’s mentioned once. Compared to her seasons-long effort to get home. I said it earlier, I think the showrunners lost sight of Arya’s motivations. They saw the things she didn’t want – to be forced into various manifestations of patriarchal society, mostly – and didn’t end up tracking the things that the book version of her character very much does want. Namely, her home and her family. Even her desire for revenge is based in how much she wants her home and her family.

Having a character not tethered strongly by motivation is convenient, because you can find an excuse to put her anywhere and make her do anything. Much like Bran! But it comes at the cost of the character. Here at the end, when the Starks are splitting up, it doesn’t feel like their life ambitions are logically leading them to different places, but like the writers are intervening. This decision to go west of Westeros, this thing Arya has mentioned once, doesn’t seem like something she wants so much that she’d forfeit any chance of seeing Jon again.

(1:02:02) Bran tells Jon that he was exactly where he needed to be. I’m reading this as that Jon was needed to kill Dany. That was the point of him as a character in the show. Killing Dany. Everything was in service of killing Dany.

One, this looks like another retcon. Two, man, what a fucking cruel retcon! Destiny’s grand plan here involves them falling in love only for Jon to fucking murder her! And I’m still not seeing how Jon’s death and resurrection was a crucial step in this plan, so it’s not even a quality retcon making sense of disparate plot points.

(1:02:54) Here’s Brienne’s resolution. She’s leafing through the White Book (props to the props folk; you can see the different handwriting from page to page).

(1:03:47) We see Brienne adding to Jaime’s entry. This shows a change in Jaime’s character development and arc from earlier – where back in ASoS, Jaime writes his captures and maiming “in an awkward hand that might have done credit to a six-year-old being taught his first letters,” complete with the acknowledgement that it was Brienne who returned him to King’s Landing, in the show apparently he recounted the first capture and his ransom only. Brienne adds Jaime’s latter-season deeds in the most flattering light before finishing “died protecting his queen.”

Note how this resolution to Brienne’s story is mostly about Jaime. With bonus romanticisation of the Jaime/Cersei relationship. The show never got how messed up that dynamic was.

(1:04:56) Tyrion walks through what’s presumably the Red Keep and approaches the Hand’s chair at the Small Council’s table. It’s great that the Red Keep got rebuilt so fast! Like nothing ever happened. Continuity schmontinuity.

(1:05:29) We’ve got time for one more take of rearranging the chairs. Another case of too much of a good thing. Both in the sense that we get thirty seconds of Tyrion fiddling with the chairs, and in that this joke made its point the first time and the second time.

(1:06:09) The new look Small Council enters to Tyrion at the head of the table. Tyrion’s in charge, here. At this point I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that Game of Thrones is centrally a story about Tyrion Lannister’s rise to power. Which is certainly a decision that the adaptation made. Just one that doesn’t look all that much like A Song of Ice and Fire.

(1:06:15) Bronn’s back, re-emerging from his plot hole one final time. Like he never threatened to kill Tyrion at all.

(1:06:17) Sam’s in a maester’s robes. Like he’s even a maester. What about his Watch position? Who knows?

(1:06:27) Sam presents Tyrion with a book entitled “A Song of Ice and Fire.” Hey, that’s the name of the books! Apparently it’s a history of the wars following the death of King Robert. Which is…not actually the A Song of Ice and Fire we’re following, which is about a bit more than the War of Five Kings.

(1:08:04) No word of Drogon. So Bran leaves the business of ruling to Tyrion while he goes looking for dragons. He wasn’t kidding about not caring about power. This is getting off to a great start that will in no way result in the same Robert Baratheon-y indifference to running the country.

(1:08:22) Confirmation that Pod was knighted and is now a member of the Kingsguard, just tying up these loose ends.

(1:08:57) A bit of expositing about Bronn’s new title. He is indeed the Lord of Highgarden. Master of Coin, too. Makes sense, makes sense. Not.

(1:09:52) We back out of the meeting as the new Small Council starts on solving the problems of the realm (including its lack of brothels), for some bizarre reason everyone referring to themselves in the third person.

(1:10:13) The final line of dialogue in the entire series is “I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel.” Call back! In the same fine taste as so much of the dialogue in this show. And we never do get to hear the punchline. (He asked for someone to lick honey off his ass.)

(1:10:19) Cut to Jon arriving at the Wall. There’s a bit of rubble around, but the order’s still functioning, the Wall’s still there. Where’s the fundamental change the events of the series wrought on the setting?

(1:11:03) Jon reunites with his truest friend, Tormund. Speaking of, it’s nice that someone has a buddy.

(1:11:37) Time for Ramin Djawadi’s last hurrah. It’s a Stark montage, as Jon, Sansa and Arya get ready to set out on their next adventures. I think there’s a significant structural change in evidence from the books here. In the books, Sansa, Arya and Bran are more closely in parallel. Jon’s got strong thematic connections to them, of course, but his primary parallels are with Dany.

Which isn’t necessarily a bad change until you recall how badly the show’s treated Dany. And how anemic the writing for Jon was, too.

What this final montage also emphasises is the atomisation of the Stark family, and that, that is fucking sad. This is not a montage of the Starks. This is a montage of Jon, Arya, and Sansa, starting their permanently separate lives.

Again, compared to the books, the love the Starks have for each other is one of the central themes running through their PoVs. The Starks love each other. The Starks love their home. It is grounding and centralising and helps bring out the best in each of them. This ending, where apparently these three get what they want at the cost of those familial relationships – it seems almost backwards. I’m not sure the book versions of these characters could get what they wanted out of life if it meant sacrificing the notion of their family unit.

It’s different, and it’s not a different I prefer. I have thought for a long time that the show did not show the bonds between the Starks well. I’m not surprised at the ending of the series those bonds are severed altogether.

Bran? Who’s Bran? Is he part of the family?

(1:13:40) What. Jon is paying attention to his direwolf. This is madness.

(1:14:45) It makes me very sad how alone Sansa is in this shot as she’s crowned queen. Show!Sansa isn’t a nice person by any means, but for the sake of her book counterpart…

(1:15:15) As Jon helps lead the Free Folk back north past the Wall, you can see grass starting to poke through the snow cover. The show finishes with him riding into a northern forest.

I asked this a bit more than a year ago, but what was the point of all this? What changed? I touched on it with Jon, but what is the difference in the setting? Some borders got rearranged, a different king’s on the throne, but the system remains fundamentally the same. The game of thrones goes on. The aspects of the plot that were supposed to be agents of major change, worthy of an eight-season series – Dany and her dragons, the Free Folk moving south, the Others– all got dealt with and removed from the ending with nice neat little bows and nice neat little deaths.

All that story and all it did was destroy a family.

Thus ends the recap, but I am trying to work on a wrap-up essay. A bit more looking at the forest instead of the trees, and trying to work out where the series went so, so badly wrong.

[bespectacled-panda]

after seeing dumpywoof’s post I was inspired to do a tier list of my own!!! and boy howdy do I have some hot takes of the century it turns out,,,

the seasons are more or less organized in descending order within the same row as well (e.g. MC 4 > MC 5). also, shamefully copying dumpywoof & putting a detailed & overly verbose explanation for each season:

S Tier

Terraria 3: For me, absolutely nothing compares to Terraria 3. No other season combines such perfect participant dynamics with such heart-wrenching drama—not to mention the existence of Team New Kids who make me cry on a daily basis, or the incredible fake twist ending. It would be a sin to put this season anywhere but alone at the very top. Also props for being the only (1 of 2) post-show that actually includes all of the cast.

 A Tier

Minecraft 4: This is the best season for shenanigans alone, hands-down. It’s largely just the participants shooting the shit together, especially in the latter half of the season when it gets down to just the four of them. & I have a huge soft spot for men being wholesomely foolish together I suppose, so here it goes fhdhfhd.

Minecraft 5: To be honest, I have not seen this season since it released, which is a crime, I know, I’m sorry :orb: But I remember it being very very good, & I cannot imagine my taste will have changed that dramatically in just a few years, so. in truth, this one might be actually better than MC 4, but as I have not seen it in many years I can’t say that for certain. Either way, though, it’s definitely one of the best seasons out there.

MineZ 1: To me, MineZ 1 is the reverse of MC 4: low on shenanigans & high on drama. It’s pre-Todd era, but the editing in this one is honestly Todd-level, I would say. It’s so incredibly tense, especially the scene with McJones & PBG trying to escape the caves, and I feel like the sheer stress of it all brought out a new side of a lot of the participants, most notably Dean—who sounded genuinely agonized at times. A very very quality season all around, IMO.

Terraria 2: This season probably objectively deserves to be B tier, but I am it giving A tier for personal bias. I just,,, love the dynamics okay. Jeff & McJones especially made for a killer duo. It was a rare instance of McJones being the funny man himself rather than being the straight man to someone else’s funny man; he was super uncharacteristically goofy & almost borderline flirtatious at times, it really made for some good moments fhdhfjd. Plus then you got McJones solo commentary at the end which I greatly enjoyed. Just,, a very enjoyable season, very mid-HC era, very light & easy to watch, all that good stuff.

Diablo II: Man,,,,this absolutely 100% does not deserve A tier, I know, I’m sorry, but I just can’t bring myself to put it lower. I have A tier love for it :orb: Admittedly, the game is horrendously ugly and confusing to watch, but the shenanigans + the cast dynamics win me over in the end. Paul especially was great in this, & I hope he makes a return someday. Loving fathers Paul & Jirard with their sorceress son McJones making their way through the end-game just cannot be beaten. (Anti-shoutouts to Ross though, I don’t know anything about him, I am sure he is a lovely man, but GOD. WHY DID HE KEEP RUNNING OFF ON HIS OWN & GETTING LOST BUT THEN FORCEFULLY REFUSING HELP,,, ROSS YOU ARE THE WORST DHDHFJDJD)

 B Tier

Minecraft 7: Boy,,, this is going to be a controversial take fhhfjdjf. I just don’t know how to explain it, but something about MC7 felt,,,, Very off. I don’t know what it was, just something about the season seemed very,,, almost like you could tell things were falling apart behind the scenes, & they were trying to pull it back together but weren’t quite succeeding. It’s not a bad season in any regards, of course, I just,, don’t enjoy it nearly as much as a lot of others,, it’s missing that crucial spark of life in my opinion,, also Dean leaving to go to work was kind of strange,, I get it, it’s probably difficult to work around his real-life job,, but it felt strange,, he got like temporary immunity. Nothing like that had ever happened before I don’t think. And also they never even explained why Dean wasn’t there for like three episodes fjdjfjhd,,

Minecraft 3: God I feel like I just keep digging myself into a deeper & deeper hole here fhsjfjd,,, but man, I did like MC3 to be honest. It wasn’t the best season, it kind of went nowhere, but I liked the cast & there was a lot of good funnymoments. Smooth & Shane were very good guests who I feel like really rounded out the season, & Jontron did not come off as terribly overbearing as I believe that he has in other seasons. Overall, pretty decent, I’d say.

 C Tier

Minecraft 2: MC 2 & MC 3 are very similar, but I think MC 2 is slightly worse, both in terms of entertainment & cast. NCS & Kyrak did not hit like Smooth & Shane did,,, and I feel like just everything that happened in this one was fairly forgettable. I was torn as to whether this should be a B or a C, but I put it here in the end just to drive home that I really don’t like it as much as MC 3, I don’t believe.

Minecraft 6: Oh lord, this is a nuclear take fhdjfjd. Again, this isn’t a bad season at all, it has its good moments, especially Chad & Dodger, they are angels & I love them & want them back. But boy,,, just. Many things went wrong here. None of the twists panned out like,, at all, which I know isn’t necessarily anyone’s fault, the concept of this twist & of twists in general is very good. But it fell so flat here, especially with the revival. There was,, no debate at all about what to do. They hyped it up like they had this big decision to make, but then nobody made any effort to dramatize it at all. It was basically just Dean deciding by himself and everyone just sitting back & letting him. For the record, I have no qualms with the fact that Dodger was revived, I fully agree that she deserved it over McJones, but it was not played well at all IMO,,,      I do have to admit, though, with a fair amount of sheepishness, that the thing that most sullies this season for me is McJones’s death. Just,,, his horrible, so so avoidable, insanely early death, coupled with his retirement shortly thereafter & him becoming so jaded with hc that he expressed borderline hostility & hatred towards it just,,, hurts. I kinda don’t wanna see the events of MC 6 now knowing the aftermath. I understand fully that this particular point is not something most people care about to say the least dhfhdjd, but,,, in all honesty, I really don’t have any desire to rewatch this one, as objectively good as it might be. It was a win but it felt like a loss, if that makes sense. Also the post-show lacked all three people I actually wanted to hear from fhdjfjd neither the two people who could’ve been revived nor the actual person who did the reviving were there to share their insight & perspectives on it :pensive: 

 D Tier

Starbound: man,,, starbound. This is a very mixed bag for me. On one hand, I disagree with people who say that it was boring or that nothing happened, I found it very tense, Todd’s editing had me on edge throughout every episode. But on the other hand,,, man. Very few memorable moments, what even happened in this one,, also I feel like the game mechanics/plot weren’t explained very well, I feel like I remember being vaguely confused all the time as to what was happening. Probably will not ever rewatch either.

 Have Not Seen

DayZ: I will not ever be watching this season both because I do not know anything about DayZ & because from what I’ve heard it was an absolute disaster, I’m just not interested in getting involved in that fhdhfjdk

Terraria 1: There’s not really a reason I haven’t watched this one. Just,, I haven’t made my way down to the earliest seasons yet. Although as mentioned before, I have seen a few clips of this season, & Jontron seems to be pretty obnoxious in this one, so I don’t how much I’ll enjoy the parts with him in it, but I definitely do want to watch it someday.

Minecraft 1: The same as Terraria 1, I just happen to not have seen this one by chance. But unlike T1, I am much more looking forward to actually watching it, it seems really good, I want to experience that legendary very first season at last dhdhfjd

MineZ 2: Man,,, many things about the behind-the-scenes of this season make me sort of uncomfortable honestly. Just,,, the visceral second-hand shame & embarrassment of someone in the hc fandom being so rude & bothersome to the cast,, somehow it makes me feel personally responsible even though I didn’t do anything fhdjfj,,, Also,, once again continuing with the trend of me being saddened by McJones expressing dislike for seasons fhdjfjd,, I do recall him saying, regarding this season, something like “I think it would’ve been better if we just never did this,” which,,, ow. That doesn’t make me particularly enthused to watch it fhdjfjd. I probably will end up watching this season someday to be honest, but I’m not looking forward to feeling the cast’s frustration & unhappiness with the situation,, (EDIT: I want to be clear that there is no actual drama surrounding minez 2!!! it is a perfectly fine season, there is nothing wrong with it, it just happens that I personally am bothered by the fact that there was a lot of like,,, frustration coming from the participants regarding the player who was stalking them. this in no way means that minez 2 is an objectively bad or problematic season!! if minez 2 is your favorite season I completely respect you, there is nothing wrong with that!! there is a lot to like about the season as a whole!!! I just personally care too much about mcjones having a bad time in seasons bc it’s what ultimately led to his retirement, & that makes me sad fjdhfjdjd. but it has come to my attention that my wording made it sound like there was drama about minez 2, which there never actually was, I am very very sorry for my unintentional yet poor choice of words.)

[pintofteaforthesoul]

Stuck In My Head Part 3

So this is a lot and you’re all gonna hate me for it. But fear not!! For it is not the end. Lemme know if you wanna be tagged!!!

(EDIT: I did decide to split this into another part, so part 4 is coming soon since most of it is already written.)

Tagging: @lordlorcanlochan, @mis-lil-red, @lets-hufflepuff-this-shit, @1800-fight-me, @idaolsson11, @ofstarsanddreams, @10divergentmockingjays, @gently-say-aha

~~~

The fall semester was going by way too quickly for Elide’s taste. It was already Halloween weekend, she was stressed out of her mind, and had hardly left her dorm room except to shower, go to class, and eat. Commons food was already turning bland and Elide swore if she didn’t do something besides study, she would lose her god-damned MIND. So when Aelin strutted in fresh out of the shower in her cute robe with a full face of make-up, Elide asked, “Are you going somewhere special tonight?”

Aelin grinned, rummaging through her drawers until she pulled out a pair of black tights. “Yeah, my sorority is hosting a Halloween Bash at this club downtown.”

Elide glanced up from her place on her stomach on her top bunk. “You going with your boyfriend?”

Aelin flashed her an amused look. “Of course. Why, did you want to come?” She did her infamous eyebrow wiggle.

Elide blushed. “No,” she said unconvincingly, “I don’t have a costume or anything anyway.” She waved her hand, but Aelin’s knowing eyes were sharp.

“You and my best friend are close to the same size. She’s not bringing a date anyway, so you’re more than welcome to be her plus one. But… if you don’t want to…” Aelin turned back to the closet and Elide was practically falling out of the bed with desperation.

~~~

A quick call to Lysandra, 40 minutes of group hair and makeup, and an uber ride later, Elide was standing in the middle of a crowded club- the bass vibrating through her body as she danced in a little triangle with the other girls. Elide’s face hurt from smiling too much and she was having honestly the time of her life.

She’d been scandalized when Lysandra had showed up to the dorm holding the tiny dress she now wore, but now she was grateful as she burned under the colored lights. It was stereotypical witch costume with a short poufy skirt overlaid with emerald green tulle and a tight, bedazzled black corset top that had her struggling to breathe. There was tiny witch hat on a headband in her dark hair and fishnets up her legs. Elide had to admit she looked damn good, but compared to Aelin’s vampire and Lysandra’s nurse Elide still felt inadequate.

Pushing those feelings from her mind, Elide tried her best to focus on the music and keep her movements supple. She wasn’t graceful by any means and any jostle would send her to the floor. The three girls twirled together, giggling as they sipped from drinks they hadn’t paid for. Aelin’s boyfriend, Rowan she’d called him, hadn’t arrived yet- Aelin grumbled something about his friends slowing him down.

Elide had asked how his friends would get in, but Aelin had just laughed. They coaxed some poor sister into being their date. Lysandra hollered at that, obviously smug that she had not been one.

It was nearing eleven when Rowan finally showed, appearing behind Aelin like a shadow and making them all jump as he crushed Aelin to his chest. Aelin merely giggled at something Rowan whispered in her ear and Elide couldn’t explain why but seeing the two of them together made her blush.

“Where’s Fen and Lorcan?” Aelin shouted to be heard over the music. Elide froze, immediately getting bumped into from behind. No one noticed her change in body language.

Rowan certainly didn’t, only having eyes for Aelin as he took in her short skirt and low top. “They’re around here somewhere.” He didn’t even give a glance around, but Elide certainly did. Her shoulders were now chilled, dread blooming in her stomach making her nauseous. Lorcan was here. They’d avoided each other at all costs- well Elide had. Lorcan delighted in making sure she was called on in class, answering questions she had no reason to know. It was driving her more insane than studying, but she’d be damned if he caught her unaware like the first time.

Professor Ashryver had a reputation of never deviating from his precise schedule. 1 hour and fifteen minutes of lecture- no more and no less. That is, however, until mid-September when he announced, “I’m going to try something different, if you’ll bear with me.” The younger professor of 40 gazed out at the large class over his wire glasses. There were small bursts of panicked whispering that ceased the moment Lorcan stood up from his place in the first row.

Elide groaned, sinking in her seat, but his eyes still found hers. Easy to do when she sat in the same place every class- too much of a creature of habit to move. Lorcan grinned, a dark expression that filled her with foreboding.

But Professor Ashryver was speaking again. “I’ve been persuaded to allow twenty minutes at the end of my lecture one class a week for a discussion led by our TA, Lorcan Salvaterre.” There were sighs by some in the crowd and Elide rolled her eyes, fully aware that Lorcan’s attention was still on hers. He merely cocked his head to the side, his expression gloating. “You have the floor.” The older man said, stepping to the side and sitting in the chair behind the desk.

“Let’s begin.” Even Lorcan’s voice sent a thrum of female desire through the room.

Elide shook the memory off, cringing. Aelin was looking at her oddly as Lysandra was saying with an eye-roll, “They’ve probably already abandoned their dates.”

At that, Elide snorted. Figures. She’d seen Lorcan flirt with countless girls in class right in front of her and hadn’t batted an eye. Hypocrite. Rage burned low in Elide’s gut. The others had started talking again, but Elide shouted at them, “I’m getting another drink.” Lysandra waved her off with a wink.

Elide slowly made her way to the packed bar, self-conscious with how much of her cleavage was showing. Though she and Lysandra had a similar figure, Elide’s chest was- well bigger, so the corset had her breasts practically bulging. She’d noticed many gazes directed towards it and had tried her best to ignore them.

She leaned against the bar, but the bartenders were down the line. Elide huffed, a pout coming to her lips, when a voice came from behind her. “If I say you’ve bewitched me, does that help or hinder my chances of buying you a drink?”

Elide couldn’t help her snort, turning the face the owner of the voice. He was tall, broad, and golden. Dressed as a Spartan warrior, his chest was left bare and his blonde curly hair hidden under a gawdy helmet. She cocked her head at him. “And if I said it helped?”

The man grinned, broad wide teeth a spectacular white. He was absolutely gorgeous and the complete opposite to Lorcan’s brooding. “Then I am properly bewitched by you.”

Elide smiled back at him, amused despite herself. He was quite charming and it was actually refreshing. “I suppose you should buy me a drink then.”

The golden man winked and it sent a thrill through Elide’s body. “Yes, ma’am.” He moved closer to her, joining her beside the bar. With the packed space, Elide could feel the heat coming off of him. “What would you like?” His hot breath tickled her nose, closer to her height when he leaned against the counter.

“Anything is fine.” Elide murmured.

The man’s eyes sparkled. “And what name should I put it under?”

“Elide.” She breathed, eyes darting over his exquisite features. “Elide Lochan.”

Elide stuck her hand and Fenrys took it, but instead of shaking it, he brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed. Butterflies erupted in Elide’s stomach and she fought her nervous giggle at the heat in Fenrys’s eyes. “I’m Fenrys.”

~~~

Lorcan was seeing red. He hadn’t expected Elide to be here when he’d convinced the raven-haired sorority girl to bring to the Halloween Bash. And he certainly hadn’t expected her to be dressed like that- like a gods-damned goddess. Lorcan had watched her dance, hands twitching from the effort not to go over and put his hands on those tantalizing hips of hers.

He tried to tune back into the conversation the blonde had dragged him into. Lorcan gave a nod when it was necessary, tracking Elide’s movements in his periphery. It wasn’t that the girl in front of him wasn’t hot- she was. Her midnight hair looked almost purple against her pale skin, but she was no Elide.

A laugh sounded from across the bar and somehow Lorcan knew what he would see when he turned his head. Indeed- there was Fenrys at the bar… standing so close to Elide they might as well have been kissing. They were holding drinks Fenrys had obviously just bought and the smile on Elide’s face… damn.

Elide whispered something in Fen’s ear that made the man actually blush and it was a testament to Lorcan’s willpower that he didn’t shatter the glass in his hand. His entire body was tense, coiled so tight it might break. 

“So what are you supposed to be dressed as?” One of the girl’s friends asked him, placing a hand on his arm despite the girl- whatever her name was- giving her a death glare.

Lorcan glanced at her, a little bit of madness creeping into his eyes. “Death.” He said simply. Lorcan chose to be all in black, not really giving a shit about some costume. Fenrys had teased endlessly, but he was the one who enjoyed dressing up. Even Rowan had dressed up tonight though- to impress his hot new girlfriend, Aelin.

The girls around him giggled and Lorcan fought an eye roll. There really was nothing wrong with them. Three months ago he would’ve eagerly taken one home and showed her a good time before forgetting her the next day. But now he couldn’t seem to muster up the motivation to flirt, well unless it was in front of Elide and he got to see the furious jealousy blush her cheeks.

Lorcan drained his glass and grinned at them. “I need to go get another drink.” He made no promise of coming back. If things went his way he’d be buried balls deep in Elide by midnight, eager to sate the craving and hopefully be done with it. No, he couldn’t stand seeing Fenrys next to her any longer, chatting her up in his cavalier style that made every girl week in the knees.

Lorcan shoved his way through the crowd, murder in every line of his face. As if she could feel him, Elide looked up- and paled.

~~~

No, Elide’s mind screamed, but even as she thought the word Lorcan was getting closer to them. Now only a couple feet away, Lorcan called out with a fake grin on his face, “Elide.  Fancy meeting you here. I didn’t know you were a Phi Rho.”

Fenrys glanced at their new conversation partner while Elide gritted her teeth. “I’m not. I was invited.”

“How’s your date, Lorcan?” Fenrys murmured, clearly feeling the tension between the other two and happily picking Elide based on the undertone to his words.

Lorcan’s jaw tensed, a muscle jumping in his throat as he turned eyes to Fenrys. “How’s yours?”

“Wait,” Elide said, stepping a little away with narrowed eyes. “You two know each other?”

Fenrys grinned, going to clasp Elide’s hand and she was too in shock to drop it. Lorcan’s eyes fixated on it and he glowered. “We’re brothers, technically. Right, Lorcan?”

Lorcan’s eyes flicked back up. “Of course, but it seems one of us missed the lesson on not taking what doesn’t belong to you.”

A soft, dangerous laugh. “I at least got the lesson on not treating women like objects.” Fenrys pulled Elide closer as she scowled at Lorcan.

Lorcan’s eyes only narrowed to onyx slits, head tilted to the side. “Did you?”

Now Elide scoffed. “He’s treated me far better than you did.” She looked up at Fenrys, making sure her eyes were large and innocent. “Can we go?”

Fenrys set his drink down. “Of course, sweetheart. Where would you like to go?”

Elide faced him fully, running a finger down his sculpted chest. In a low purr that Lorcan could still hear, she said, “Anywhere with you.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lorcan go purple. Fenrys dipped in a short bow before looping their arms and starting off. Over her shoulder, Elide called, “Tell Aelin where I’m going, will you?”

[grandmasterofwangxiancultivation]

MDZS ch.94

okay, i’ve been dreaming about this part and now i just need to know what happens so bad i’m ditching my studying schedule (and relax for a bit, uni is making me going totally insane) to read this, better be worth it-

Lan WangJi gladly accepted his exaggerated praise. He opened Wei WuXian’s sleeves and  poured all of the stolen jujubes inside, saying, “For you. All for you.”

AND IT IS, FLUFF ALL OVER THE BEGINNING, BLESS I WANNA CRY

i think lwj doesn’t like wwx thanking him. he snaps every time he does that. uuuuuugh my heart-

lunatic lwj is the best things in the whole universe

He took out a jujube, wiped it on the cloth at his chest, and bit half of it away, thinking that  if Lan Zhan wanted to play, he should just play with him, “What do you want to do next?” He held himself back from saying, ‘Whose house do you want to destroy next?’

(i’m excited, what’s next on the drunken lwj’s list of adventures?)

Lan WangJi frowned slightly, correcting him, “We.”

fewljwiorgi HE CORRECTED HIM. WE, NOT ME, ALONE. ISN’T THIS A LOVE CONFESSION ALREADY COME ONE WEI YIIIIIIIING

EDIT:

The two arrived at a wall. Lan WangJi looked left and right. After making sure that nobody was around, he unsheathed Bichen from his waist. With a few swings, glaring blue light flashed by, leaving behind a row of tall characters.

Wei WuXian went forth and looked. There were seven words—‘Lan WangJi of Gusu has been here’.

(HOW IS IT THAT LWJ DOES EXACTLY WHAT I’D NEVER EXPECT FROM HIM I’M DOOMED THIS IS WHY THEY ARE SO PERFECT FOR EACH SEE? S E E ?)

Lan WangJi nodded and handed Bichen to him.

Wei WuXian, “?”

Lan WangJi handed Bichen to him again. Wei WuXian took it. As he saw how there was still much empty space after the words ‘Lan WangJi’, he understood.

Lan WangJi was waiting for him to write his name up there as well!

....

i’m done

i am done.

this is too perfect, and perfection SCARES ME. if this is giving me so much joy i could actually die from it, what’s gonna happen next? WHAT.

Lan WangJi seemed quite satisfied, finally taking Bichen back. After a moment of thought, he reached out again. This time, it wasn’t to write, but rather to draw. A few glares of the sword zipped across, and the small portrait of two kissing figures appeared on the wall. The precision of the lines and the obscenity of the content was enough to make Wei WuXian slap his own forehead.

(I KEEP HAVING ABSOLUTELY NO WORDS I DON’T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH FUN I’M HAVING RN IS THIS EVEN LWJ I LOVE HIM

he is trying to woo wwx by doing what he did when he was young and guys my heart has totally melted)

EDIT 2:

Suddenly, a series of wild barks exploded. Wei WuXian seemed as if firecrackers had just bursted beside his ears. He immediately screamed, unconsciously jumping onto Lan WangJi’s body, “Lan Zhan, help me!!!”

(bAbY- *he always have an excuse to wrap himself all over lwj, what a coincidence-)

Lan WangJi gained a complete victory. He finally patted Wei WuXian a few more times and leaped off the wall with him.

The dog’s barks were never heard again, even after they walked for a long while. Wei WuXian was finally able to tear himself off Lan WangJi’s body. His eyes were glazed and his legs shivered. Lan WangJi patted his shoulder, gazing at him with dedication, as though asking if he was fine or not. Wei WuXian still hadn’t recovered from the shock. Now that he could finally catch his breath a bit, he praised, “HanGuang-Jun, you’re so brave!”

(this was-

like, the cutest thing ever. i love how lwj protects him from everything, even things that are not really life treatening. that dedication you see, wwx, THAT’S LOVE, SO LOVE HIM TOO OKAY LOVE HIM LOTSSSSSS-)

Hearing this, Lan WangJi seemed to smile.

The ripple of movement faded at once. Pausing in astonishment, Wei WuXian thought he saw wrong.

(LWJ SMILING IS DANGEROUS, SUCH A DANGEROUS THING, WEAR SUNGLASSES, OMG IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL-

what’s wwx gonna do the moment lwj will smile completely at him?

omg we’re all gonna die in bliss)

EDIT 3:

IS THERE ANYTHING THIS NOVEL WON’T GIVE ME?

Wei WuXian swept them off of him as he laughed, “You’re so dirty!”

Lan WangJi, “Wash my face for me.”

(BOSSY. WE LIKE IT.)

Wei WuXian couldn’t help but tugged his forehead ribbon, “You’ve even learned to order me around!”

The first time he was drunk, Wei WuXian washed his face for him, and Lan WangJi seemed as if he liked it a lot. Of course, this time, he asked for it on his own. Wei WuXian wanted to do it for him in the first place, but now that he was already like this, simply washing his face wouldn’t be enough at all. And so, he asked, “How about I just help you bathe instead?”

A BATH.

A  B A T H.

THIS CAN ONLY MEAN THAT THIRD TIME DRUNK LWJ SCENE IS GETTING INTO HOT AND WET TERRITORY. BATHTUB SCENE.

Finally the words i wanna hear.

MY BODY IS READY.

Hearing this, Lan WangJi widened his eyes slightly. Wei WuXian examined his expression carefully, “Do you want it?

Lan WangJi immediately nodded, “Yes.”

lwj is so eager, CUTE

EDIT 4:

He himself went downstairs, boiled water, and carried them up one bucket at a time, filling the entire tub. He tried the temperature of the water. Just as he turned around, wanting to tell Lan WangJi to take off his clothes, he saw that Lan WangJi had already stripped on his own.

(WeIwUxIaN.exe has stopped working)

When he ran into Lan WangJi taking a bath, he didn’t have any other ideas either, and during both those two times, more than half of Lan WangJi’s body was buried underwater. And so, suddenly seeing such an uncovered HanGuang-Jun… It was needless to say that Wei WuXian received quite a big shock.

(ARE YOU MAKING A DICK ALLUSION, WEI WUXIAN?)

At the moment, he didn’t even know whether he should follow his heart and look as much as he wanted or find something with which to cover up Lan WangJi and pretend to be a decent person.

(I AM AN INCOHERENT MESS RN-)

His scalp tingled. He couldn’t help but to walk backwards, but as he walked back, Lan WangJi continued to walk forward. Wei WuXian had already backed away to a corner of the wall. He couldn’t hide at all, and could only braven up as he watched Lan WangJi approach him expressionlessly. The distinct Adam’s Apple, fair-colored skin, and smooth, aesthetic muscles flashed before his eyes so clearly that he didn’t even dare look at them straight, eyes averting slightly. He swallowed unconsciously, somehow feeling a bit parched.

Wei WuXian was almost in a state of despair. He clenched his teeth, pretending like everything was fine, “I’m only pouring the bathwater for you. Okay. You can do the rest now.” As he spoke, he was just about to move away when Lan WangJi suddenly reached out and tore his sash belt into half.

(OKAY I’LL STOP BREATHING RIGHT HERE AT THIS PART BECAUSE MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS SKY HIGH AND IF I GO FURTHER WITH THE READING I THINK I’LL FAINT OR REALLY, LEGITIMATELY DIE AND MY MOUTH IS WATERING AND WHAT THE HELL THIS IS TOO PERFECT

who the hell am i kidding i’m going on, nosebleed or not-)

EDIT 5: I’LL CHOKE WITH MY OWN SALIVA

LWJ DOESN’T WANT TO BATHE WITHOUT WWX AND THAT’S THE SEXIEST, CUTEST THING EVER

And so, he dragged Lan WangJi towards the tub, “Fine, I’ll help you bathe. Come here.” He thought, My loss, my loss. Fine, I’ll just scrub him a couple of times. I won’t do anything else at all.*

*yeah well we all know that’s not gonna happen

also, wwx trying to convince himself he won’t do anything else besides wiping him a bit i’m like >______________>

(esr commenting wwx’s intentions represents all of us)

EDIT 6:

Lan WangJi was finally hauled by him. He sunk into the water again. Wei WuXian also rolled up his sleeves and walked towards the tub.

(i’ll explode, i’ll totally go BOOM POW in a sec when wwx’s hands will be all over lwj omg omg omg omg omg omg OMG-)

Since Lan WangJi had been staring at Wei WuXian without a single blink, Wei WuXian was worried the water might drip into his eyes and make him feel uncomfortable, “Close your eyes.”

(this is how i would explain what love is to me)

Lan WangJi didn’t listen to him. His eyes were still glued to Wei WuXian as if he was scared that if he blinked once, Wei WuXian might have run away. Wei WuXian reached out to shut his eyes, and he buried the lower half of his face into the water, letting out a series of bubbles. Wei WuXian laughed as he lightly pinched his cheek, “Er-Gege, how old are you?”

(omg omg I’M SOBBING SO HARD IT’S MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL HELP cute cute so cute)

EDIT 7: okay, about lwj’s scars... i think he did that to himself (or made it so that it feels like he was punishing himself, you get me, right)? i mean, wwx describes them as coming from ferocious whipping, so even if lwj deserved to be punished, i can’t think of lqr and lxc being so angry at him to that point (it feels like adding cruelty to the punishment). so, either what lwj did was really bad or... well, he punished himself (whipping himself or having someone do it to him, so to be extremely strict). my heart is crying.

EDIT 8:

Wei WuXian got him drunk and spent almost half the night mulling over the matter, but he still didn’t get any answers. It wasn’t that he forgot. He’d always held in the back of his mind that he gave wine to Lan WangJi just to ask him, “HanGuang-Jun, just what do you think of me?” But every time it was close, he’d find some reason to blur things over, like not being so eager and asking after he played with him for long enough, like not being so casual and asking after they sat down properly… But even with all these excuses, the real reason that he dragged it until now was probably that he feared.

He was scared that he’d hear an answer different from what he hoped for.

omg now my heart is breaking again, i can feel my stomach twisting, he is scared. if only he knew, if only... pls lwj, tell him. tell him how much you longed for him and need him and embrace wwx’s hope to be loved by you, i swear i won’t ever need anything else in my life

[thereallazaruslady]

Why Is Trump Holding Back JFK Assassination Files

I hold the answers to that question. BS "National Security" It's in the interest of these greedy domestic terrorist scum. I'm Max Weber Jr's grand-daughter... His son, Adolph Weber was my father. My father Adolph had an affair with his daughter in law, that's my mother, MaryAnn... they did it to preserve bloodlines and to prevent them from being Nazi tainted & secure that our fortunes would be preserved and returned. My father and his brother Otto had to marry the daughters of Hitler & Eva Braun in order to come to the USA and survive the Holocaust as most of our family were wiped out - murdered. As a side -note, I met Werner von Braun as a child as he was my father Adolph's wife Hannah.

The US held some of our fortune for a certain duration and Nazi Germany held some - reparations for Holocaust survivors (Weber is a Jewish surname) were handled where my great Uncle Alfred Weber, Max's brother, lived: in Switzerland - specifically held at the Swiss Bank - hence all those whistleblowers since Nazi-looted monies were being returned. That was 1994 and the Nazi & KKK & others (read inc. Bush) here were going to make certain those of us who are real Jews would never see a dime of our monies.

Now go back to Nov 1963, my mother was a few months pregnant with me - so what did those greedy SOBs do? Sent her husband, who is also my 1/2 brother (a Marine who spent a year at West Point then worked/defense at Long Island - hint, hint) undercover to Dealey Plaza, Texas... he missed his shot, he made the wrong one, but JFK had 11 bullet holes in him, so he really had no chance to stop the assassins. It was also the same day my mother found out she was pregnant with me - and that's how those of EMPIRE play...always aim for the greatest shock/trauma value.

I lived with my maternal grandparents (Rosato/Rosetta) and then at 5 moved to Le Guin's Omelas (Continental Village/Garrison, NY) to live with my mother, her husband and their 2 children - by the age of 8, full time. And then the BrainTrust et al found me & started fawning over me, that's when I got offered up  for my older 1/2's illegitimate son, Leo to be made a star and me to be destroyed. All the Paperclips and Paperclips like my half-siblings who people call, "crypto-Jews" pounced on me, constant COINTELPRO, constant attacks with DEWs, etc. A small group tried to look out for me.... but the criminals put my mother's idiot cousin Joseph Bruno in NYS government as a Senator. Joe used to run quasi-legit furniture warehouses for the mob which probably exposed him to Simmons Furniture.. all done to try and keep those monies stolen. In '87 when I was going to move to California, they put Joe & my mother's distant cousin in government: Pizzagate Pelosi. I got to CA in latter October '89. I know now that the 10/17/89 Loma Prieta earthquake (when I was half-way cross country on my move to CA) was a HAARP warning shot or "shout out" to CA.

In 1985, my mother and her husband were convicted of felony child abuse and neglect against my younger half brother, Erik. They were also convicted of attempted murder against me & my mother (possibly her husband, too) certified sociopathic by the State. That went through 8 courts, 4 counties - the State gave me emergency custody of my younger half-brother. Their sentencing was a joke, but they were doing better (famous good psychiatrist, Dr. Ehrlich who magically dropped dead in the beginning of treating them.)

94 everything changed for us and the good people of the USA. This misogynist garbage of the KKK (Simmons), BlackOps, PsyOps, Paperclips and other criminals of the infamous "CIA"  went insane. They also cleared everyone out of my life they could, sending a Royal Bildeberg nephew my way who I later learned was a Project Artichoke NIGHTMARE & I didn't know how extensive the "Stepford Wife" neuro-weapons of MK-ULTRA were or their comprehensive usage. 12/29/95 I had my son, Samuel. What i didn't know about was all the cybernetic, genetic & social engineering (in the hands of psychopaths) goings on.  There are numerous faux relatives created by gene-editing & egg stealing that I never knew about - all claiming relation when I never knew or condoned despite the "CIA" asking me several times for my eggs... You see, they stole all my work, my inventions, my performances (me playing Mahler in Shutter Island.. I was a child) my academic disciplines, treatment modalities, business ideas, Africa Agenda 2000 work, you name it, they stole it. Even my old Psalme Book (400 and something year old psalme book)that the COO of Booz Allen, a Jewish Philanthropist later bought. Years prior I had the CIA/FED crew create trusts and funds for Americans in need from those works, just a percentage of the profits... all together 100 trillion or more of my wealth all stolen or extorted from enemies of the State.. I've NEVER seen a DIME of my monies...and my younger half-nephew, Leonardo di Caprio might be a wealthy movie star, but he's just a lonely, exploited, messed up tool for this absolutely deranged agenda.

I could not list out what must be literally a few million crimes done to me and my son - even making me a pre-911 witness so as to frame their BS false-flag as UBL & some dignitaries did 911 for me (I am also a dignitary) when the TRUTH was that corrupt or exploited Politicos & Paperclip, KKK military war-criminals had stolen ALL of that wealth, not just mine, but many others long, long ago (George Tenet must be forced to PUBLICLY tell the Truth on this one). Numerous top journalists came running to me after 911 & the Iraq invasion like Seymour Hersh, Greenwald, Madsen, some NYTimes, Tribune, International media etc, etc, etc.... hell, even Johnny Cochran was going to help me and voila! he dies suddenly. Or how they pulled out these notorious female mass-murderers out of NYS's Prison for the Criminally Insane and tried to do Identity-Switcheroo to me and some other great women (mind you, most of those cretins belonged or were on death-row).  They've put me in their slow-kill or "NSA" (as in No Such Agency) soft-kill, but I've been hit with every covert weapon there is on Earth... they're just pissed I'm still alive, not sure if my kidnapped son is.... we are the last straw for America and the Deep State SCUM know it.

[thenerdytomboynewb96]

Samantha Allan Park Ch. #20

Any references to TMNT or anything from popular media and culture is NOT MINE. I only own my OC's.

Chapter #20

*Monday August 4th, about 8:00p.m. At the lair*

“Is it starting yet?” Raph called out as he was lifting weights over near the dojo. “No, still interviews” Mikey sighed. “I know she said it would be on later because they wanted to edit the footage before it was all aired live, but this is ridiculous.” “Oh, that’s the design of her uniform, right?” Leo asked. They were now watching a man on the t.v. screen wearing a zig zagged shirt and pair of shorts where one whole side was red and the other black, exactly like Sam’s soccer uniform. “Oh that’s her coach!” Mikey called out, a smile forming on his face, hoping he would now finally get a glimpse of his friend in action. The man was being interviewed and had just been asked about his team and their absence from this year’s tournament.   “Yeah, I know how much they all wanted to be here, they’ve been training…heh, they’ve been training sine last year’s tournament. Last year we just missed getting our chance to move on to the next stage of the tournament, and my boys really wanted to avenge themselves from last year, but this crazy cruel world threw a lot of them some unfortunate curve balls within the past few days, literally days, and we had to cancel at the last minute. In honor of my team, I’m still here with the few teammates who were able to attend and we’re going to scope out the competition for next year where we’ll be ten times more prepared than we would have been, hehe.” *Interviewer*: “I see you said your boys, does that include your female player?” The coach rolled his eyes. “Of course that includes my female player. She’s a tomboy and would feel insulted if I didn’t include her as one of the guys. She was one of the many who had some unfortunate curve balls thrown in her direction, and I know she was ready to kick butt again this year. *sigh* this world makes no sense to me. Why these kids were ripped away from such an incredible opportunity for reasons they couldn’t even control is beyond me, but I hope these teams are all prepared for my boys next year, we’ll be back and kicking!”

The turtles sat in silence. They couldn’t believe what they just heard. “Mikey…” Leo stated, his face frozen as he stared at the television screen from his seat on the couch. Mikey sat there speechless, and all he could do was shake his head. Leo and Donnie both looked at their brother who was sitting on the end of the couch and their eyes went wide as they witnessed Mikey’s expression. “You mean you don’t know anything about this?” Raph asked as he walked over and stood next to the flat screen. He had heard the news from the other side of the room and instantly became concerned with the situation. “She never told me anything. The last time we spoke was Thursday night right before she left. I assumed that she hadn’t contacted me because she was busy practicing.” “Call her now” Leo commanded. Mikey picked up his shell cell and dialed his friend’s number…only to have it go straight to voicemail…three times in a row. Just then the police scanner went off. Officers could be heard talking about multiple robberies that had just occurred in the area but nothing was known about where the culprits went or where they were hiding. “We’ll worry about Sam as soon as we get back, but we have to deal with this first” Leo stated. The brothers nodded and they all ran to grab any gear they thought they might need.

*Moments later*

Donnie was parking the truck in a dark alleyway where it would be hidden from any wondering eyes. “Alright, I hacked the cameras closest to the locations of where the robberies occurred and the footage shows all the culprit cars leading here. There seems to be about six different cars, four small and two larger trucks” Donnie stated. “Let’s quietly look around and see if we can figure out where the thieves are hiding. Depending on the situation, maybe we can attack and tie them up and leave them here for the cops” Leo whispered to his brothers. They all nodded in agreement and the group soon exited the truck. They found a ladder along the side of the building and climbed up so that they would have a better view from the rooftops. The boys spread out some, looking for the trucks. It took a little while, but finally they were spotted. “There” Raph said, pointing downwards diagonally at a group of dark black vehicles that were slowly being driven through the back allies. The boys trailed the moving vehicles, using the shadows to hide their movements, and followed them to a large docking area. All six of the vehicles were there, and multiple people dressed in all black, including their masks, started getting out of the cars. Some had guns, and others had ninja tools attached to their outfits. “Foot soldiers” Leo whispered, “I wonder what they’re up to this time.” “This looks like an initiation” Donnie stated. “I’ve read articles about this. Just like how gangs have really messed up initiation rituals, the Foot will come up with various tasks that the newbies need to complete in order to be accepted into the group and to start earning Shredder’s trust. This fits the description of past initiations that I read in those articles. The task is usually something stupid and pointless, but a crime must still be committed. They all meet up and then a superior comes and evaluates them all at one time. Those who pass get to return to headquarters, and those who fail or try to bail out are usually killed, and that’s if they haven’t already been caught by the police. We should see a leader come out soon.” After a couple of minutes of the soldiers getting into groups and gathering their stolen materials, a soldier with a red band around their upper arm walked out of the lead car. “Looks like that’s our guy” Mikey stated. “What do we do?” Leo quickly tried to think up a plan. “We’re going to spread out and attack from all open sides. One side is useless to them because it’s nothing but water, so that leaves three more sides. There are solid brick walls on their left and right sides, so the only way for them to escape is by leaving through the entrance where they drove in. They were trying to hide, but instead they cornered themselves in. There’s about…28 of them total, so we should be able to handle them. Raph and I will block their exit, so Mikey and Donnie will attack form the sides. Got it?” “Got it” Mikey said with a nod. “Got it” Donnie said with a nod as well. “…” The boys all turned towards Raph. Leo waved his hand in front of his brother’s face. “Raph, you with us?” he asked, frustration in his voice. “…what?” Leo bit his lip as he tried to keep his cool. “Do I need to tell you the plan again?” Raph quickly shook his head. “No. I know, you and me in the front and the other two attack from the sides. 28 of them so 7 for each of us. Sorry just…I thought I saw something, but I’m good.” “Heh, what the heck am I thinking. Hell, how could I ever even think that? There’s no way…absolutely no way…right?” Raph thought to himself as he and the others walked to their positions. He kept telling himself no, but the sight down below kept making him think otherwise. The leader who was judging the new soldiers, they had a bulge under their right sleeve. Something thicker was under their sleeve and the shape that was seen seemed very familiar to Raph. Only the top part was thicker and it extended from the leaders fingers all the way down to their mid arm, almost like…like a glove or second sleeve underneath their uniform. Raph shook his head. He must have been insane to even consider the thought of Sam being involved with the group down below. Leo could tell that something was bugging his brother and he quickly glanced in the same direction that Raph had been looking, and that’s when he also noticed the bulge. Instantly he had the same thoughts as Raph but…he had to be wrong, right? She had just told them the stories of her family and how all their lives were either changed or stolen by the Foot…unless it was all a front. NO! How could he even think that? “It can’t be her” Raph stated softly. Leo turned towards his younger brother who must have easily read his mind in order for him to say such a thing. “I know…the timing is just really…ironic” he replied. He paused and closed his eyes and took a moment to wipe all these emotional thoughts from his mind before entering the battle. If Raph could read him so easily, something that was usually a difficult task for anyone to complete accurately, then obviously his emotions were affecting his tactics and skills. He opened his eyes, took a breath, and signaled to the brothers to attack.

“SHIT, RUN!” one of the male leaders shouted as soon as the turtles leaped down from the shadows above. The boys assumed that these newbs weren’t very skilled since they were retreating rather than advancing towards their enemy. This was a first for the boys, but that wasn’t a reason to allow the thieves to escape. Soldiers started running towards the vehicles while others starting attacking from afar, slowly moving backwards so that they could try to escape. Kunai knives and shuriken stars were hurled at the boys, but to the turtles this was just like basic training at home with Splinter. Raph started making his way over to the side wall where he saw the leader run and dash behind a dumpster. He wanted to trust Sam so badly, and if he was wrong then he would never disrespect her like this ever again…but he needed clear confirmation that this wasn’t her. He felt like shit as he started sprinting towards the dumpster, but he just needed to know. He sensed movement from up ahead and was able to dodge two large trash cans that had been launched up in the air that were about to crash down where he was running. When he looked forward again he was shocked to see the huge dumpster itself sliding towards him at rapid speed. He leaped and rolled away, wondering how the heck the supposedly human soldier was able to move an entire dumpster. That’s when he saw the leader running back towards the cars. Raph quickly got up and pulled out a chain-sickle from his side holsters and using all his strength he launched the chain and weight at the end towards the escapee, and it wrapped perfectly around their ankle as they collapsed. Raph smirked at the careless and distracted soldier as he quickly made his way over towards them. Of course they got themselves loose quite quickly, which was to be expected, but Raph was already swinging his sais at the leader. He was confused by this soldier’s tactic. Instead of trying to attack him head on, they were only fighting defensively. He also realized that the soldier hadn’t thrown knives or anything sharp at him when he approached their spot by the dumpster, but rather objects that might momentarily knock him unconscious. He tried to stay focused, but like his older brother said, everything was just too ironic. Since his opponent wasn’t moving towards him, he put his sais away and decided to use hand-to-hand combat skills. This way he could try to remove their mask and he could finally feel relief when being proven wrong at thinking this could be his friend. He noticed a pattern amongst the soldier in that they kept glancing towards the side, almost like they were trying to check up on their other soldiers. That was his moment. Raph waited for a clear moment to lunge forward, and just like he anticipated, the soldier glanced to the side and screamed ‘no’ as they saw a comrade get knocked out by Donatello from afar. Raph took advantage of this moment and he acted so quickly that he didn’t even have a chance to recognize the familiar voice. He put the leader into a headlock and swiftly removed their mask, and just like that, Raph lost all feeling in his body.

He couldn’t feel his arms to keep his hold on the girl, he couldn’t feel his legs to try and run away, he couldn’t feel any part of his body to try and attack or to run away. He was stunned, the sight in front of him shocking him to the point that he was frozen solid. His fear had come true. The person he had come to trust had lied. He wasn’t sure how much of it was a lie, but he knew that somewhere along the line everything had become a farce. He felt played, betrayed, and everything in between. He was instantly filled with anger, hate, rage, and he wanted to ball his fists up and throw a punch at the person in front of him because of it, but he was so frozen that he couldn’t even do that, and he couldn’t even feel the solid kick from the foot that was now connecting with his plastron. He was facing Sam, and he was now being attacked with a spin kick technique that he had taught Mikey and that had then been passed onto Sam.

The kick launched Raph backwards. It wasn’t as forceful as when the dumpster had been sent sliding along the ground moments ago, but it still knocked him off his feet and made him travel a decent distance away from his original spot. Even as the girl ran away, Raph couldn’t chase after her. He just slowly stood up, watching her run away and yell to the other soldiers to drive away and look at them with concern in her eyes. Why hadn’t she looked at him that way? When her face was revealed she had nothing but fear in her eyes, fear from being caught. And then when she kicked him, anger was etched into her expression, so why did she seem more concerned about these soldiers than she did about him? “It was a lie all along, all of it, and we all fell for it.” Raph thought to himself. Raph watched from afar as Sam gave instructions to the other soldiers before they all began to drive away. He then saw Leo run over and punch Sam in the forehead, knocking her out cold. He closed his eyes and hoped that this was all a dream, but his brother’s shouts and Leo’s commands woke him up, forcing him to return to this nightmare.

*Later that night, back at the lair* Themes: TOP-Oh Mom BAP-Voicemail Super Junior-Don’t Leave Me Lady Gaga-Million Reasons Hurts-Illuminated B1A4-A lie BTS-Let Me Know

Sam slowly started to open her eyes. She felt groggy and was grossed out by the faint smell of blood. Her eyes finally opened all the way and she realized where she was. Both her wrists and ankles were handcuffed and bound together with twist ties, and rope kept her back and thighs bound to the chair that she was sitting in as well. Her head tilted forward now that she had conscious control of her body movements, or at least the little bit of body control that she still had, and she recognized the room around her: the dojo. She winced as her head started pounding from the head movement even though it had been slow. “You’re lucky. I would have made the punch hurt way more” said a low and gruff voice from the round circular dojo entrance. Sam was afraid to turn her head and face him, so she kept facing forward. How was she supposed to look at Raph after what she had done? She wanted to explain everything to him now that her worst fear had come true, but she had a feeling that wasn’t the type of conversation he wanted to have right now. “Nothing to say huh? What, you run out of lies?” he asked, anger clearly stated in his tone. Sam paused and tried to choose her words carefully, trying her hardest not to set him off. “I don’t want to fight-” “Oh really?” he asked, sarcastically laughing, “you don’t want to fight? Huh, that’s odd, since you took all that time to train with us and have Mikey teach you pretty much all that we know, and then take that and add it to whatever you’ve learned from your pals over at Foot headquarters.” “I promise you that there’s an explanation-” “I don’t want to hear shit from you” he said as he slowly shook his head. “Do you actually think I’ll listen to a damn thing you say after that stunt you pulled back there?” Sam was trying to stay calm, but not being able to explain was really beginning to frustrate her. She knew this was all her fault, but she wanted to prove to him that things weren’t as they seemed. “There’s a reason that I pulled that stunt back there.” “Yeah, it’s called being a stone cold liar.” “It’s not that lies were being told, it’s that truths weren’t.” “Really? Because I was told, actually all of us including the man you call your best friend were told that you were heading to a soccer tournament, yet we hear on t.v. that you never showed up, and then where do we find you? Judging Foot soldiers while wearing a leader armband, which states that you’ve reached high ranks in the Foot clan, which means you’ve been there for a long time. Yeah Sam that doesn’t sound like lying at all.” “*sigh* you don’t know the full story Raph. And an armband doesn’t mean shit, they’re basically handed out to soldiers in the New York branch.” “You’d know, wouldn’t you?” “Shit” Sam thought. Already her frustrated emotions were taking their toll on her and she was thinking and acting based on them rather than with intelligence. “That’s now what I meant and you know it.” “No, no I don’t. I don’t know jack shit about you and your sappy sob story of a past, and I don’t want to.” Sam paused. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked softly. “It means that I see through your act and I know that everything you’ve ever said was nothing but bull.” She finally looked over at him and looked him straight in the eyes. “That’s not true, I swear on my life that’s not true.” “Sorry kid, I’m not trusting a damn thing you say anymore.” Sam began to clench her fists. It was one thing for him to hate on her (after all, she did deserve it) but she would not tolerate anyone speaking in such an ill manner about her family. “Raph, you have every reason to hate me, and I don’t blame you for feeling that way. I should have told you guys when I had the chance-” “Actually you shouldn’t have met us, ever. Heh, I knew I was right about you all along, but Mikey, the innocent idiot that he is, he trusted you. And then that made Leo want to attempt to trust you because ‘it would be safer for all of us.’ YUP. This is definitely safer! We let a Foot soldier learn our practice routines and we let them figure out where we live. I’ll go get my calendar and you can tell me what date to save for when the rest of your joke of a clan comes and visits my fists.” “…” “Silent again huh?” Sam couldn’t help but begin to glare at him. “I’m not going to talk to you when you’re like this.” “Like what Sam? Pissed off that I openly let someone betray me? Frustrated that I kept telling people not to trust you yet here we are in the situation we all feared? Enraged by the fact that I believed all your crap about your dead siblings?” “It wasn’t crap” Sam snapped, moving her body as she tried to break free from these restraints. She was already getting choked up from the situation she was in, but all these chains and ties were making her feel suffocated. She realized her tech glove was gone, but there was still a small teeny tiny little needle inside her uniforms sleeve and she gently pricked her finger with it, waiting for the small drop of liquid to spread throughout her body. “Well how the heck would I know? Since you made it clear that the Foot were number one on your hate list and yet here you are wearing their uniform,” he said as he shook his head. “You must think we’re a bunch of idiots.” “Only when you don’t listen.” “Oh you want me to listen to you, just like how your ‘best friend’ did?” Raph said, holding up his fingers to make quotes as he said ‘best friend,’ “Wow, you took advantage of Mikey and his kind-hearted nature and you STILL want to attempt to make that plan work. I’m sure this is really going to screw him up. Here you had a real brother and you betrayed him for some fake ones.” Sam pushed her arms out and tried to break free again, but failed. “My brothers aren’t fake, everything I told you about them and their deaths was true.” “Come up with some new material” Raph snapped. Sam was really getting fed up with this. She didn’t want to hurt Raph, but he was really pushing her towards her limit. “You better watch your mouth.” “Or what? Are you going to put me in a fake grave as well? Dang, that’s lower than low. I’d be embarrassed if I was your fake siblings. Hell, I think I’d be happier being dead than having to live knowing that I’m related to you” he snarled. And that was it, the breaking point. The mutagen on the needle now kicked in and Sam had massive amounts of strength surging through her. It couldn’t be seen from the outside physically, but her actions made it known that something was wrong. Sam ripped her arms and legs through every rope, chain, and wire that had been holding them down. Her entire body was free, and now she was glaring at Raph as she paced back and forth on her side of the room. Emotions took over and reason was locked away from her thoughts. Reason was banging on the door, trying to be let back in, but rage was throwing a party and he was on a high that he wasn’t coming back down from anytime soon. “Woooow, true words from a sidekick. No wonder your own father didn’t choose you as leader. Your tactics are controlled by your anger and they make you look like an idiot, it’s comical” Sam barked. “They’re better than whatever techniques are being forced down your throat from the Foot” Raph barked back. “Really? Them why am I the one with a leader’s armband?” Sam asked, a wicked smile forming on her face. On the inside she hated what she was doing, but Raph had picked at her deepest wound, so she was doing the same to him, and this side of her was what was visible on the outside. “You think you’re so tough now? Because what I saw earlier was a wimpy excuse for a leader. You couldn’t even throw a single punch! All you did was cower in fear” he said as he started walking towards her. “Punches? Holy shit, you don’t think with anything but your fists do you? Another reason you’ll never be a leader! Enemies see through you when all you use is the same brute strength attack again and again. No wonder Shredder kicked your ass” Sam said as she also started walking towards Raph. They both walked forward and with their right arms punched each other square in the jaw. Both were taken aback, and if Raph was thinking clearly, he would have questioned how Sam was able to hit him with the same amount of power that he had hit her, and he would have also questioned how this punch hadn’t knocked her out cold like it always did, but obviously Raph wasn’t thinking clearly. “One crack on my shell is getting my ass kicked? Shredder must have you all types of fucked up to believe that.” “Takes a little bitch to know what it’s like to get fucked up, right Raph?” “Look at you trying to act tough, it’s as sad as the lie about your fake dead family.” “You know what they say about guys that talk big? They’re small in other places. Makes sense, trying to make up for what you don’t have.” “Oh I’m sure you know what plenty looks like after all you’ve done. I’m sure your innocence is just an act to, another mark on your list of lies.” “At least I could get some if I wanted to. You’ll be stuck down here for the rest of your life. Who the hell would be dumb enough to want you? You’d probably bore and then beat your woman to death since your fists are larger than your brain.” “Cut the act Sam. You’re so stuck between your innocent and tough guy acts that you’re just spouting a bunch of bullshit. You’re so broken that you don’t even know what you’re saying!” “You wanna see stuck? You want to experience being broken?! Well welcome to my life asshole!” It was like the flash ran by. Raph saw nothing but blue from Sam’s eyes before seeing nothing but black darkness. The impact from the kick sent him flying backwards so quickly that he literally saw nothing and wasn’t able to see again until he was on the other side of the room. At first he felt nothing, but within seconds he felt pain surging through his body. His chest hurt like crazy and his head was pounding like nothing he had ever felt before, and his shell, his shell was literally stuck in the wall. For the first time ever in his life, Raph was truly terrified. He kept trying to pull himself forward, but the kick had left him so weak that he could barely move. It was too late, but he was finally starting to think logically, and he realized how screwed he was. “What the hell was that?! How was she able to attack me like that? That speed, that strength! And I swear I just saw her brown eyes turn blue!” Raph thought to himself as he kept trying to free himself from the wall. *SLAM* A mix of fear and shock prevented Raph from turning to see the huge hole Sam’s fist had made in the wall, right next to where his head was. What he did see was that she had found her tech glove (it had been behind him on the weapons wall) and she was putting it back on. It was a bit different this time though. On the bottom of her forearm was usually just the black flexible webbed material, but now there was a thin metal strip that trailed down to the underside of her arm, and on the top part of her arm where the strip started was a small flat circular piece. He wondered what this was for and if this addition had anything to do with her new power, but his attention was very quickly directed back towards the girl as she began shouting at him. “God you’re such an idiot!” Sam shouted as she slammed her other fist against the wall near Raph’s head again, but this time on the opposite wall. “You can’t keep your mouth shut for like five god damn seconds to just let me explain!” She then took a step back as her hands flew up and grabbed onto the side of her head. She seemed to be in pain as the white sclera of her eye once again turned blue and her iris and pupil were both a dark solid black, all of her normal eyes colors instantly disappearing. Sam looked back up at and glared at Raph as her eye color started to fade back to normal. Raph felt a chill run down his spine as he saw the girl’s expression. He had never seen her look at anyone like that before and he knew that something was making her not like herself. He quickly began to have doubts about all he had said and he regretted letting his anger and confusion get the best of him, but the damage was done, and he knew that whatever came next was all his own fault. “Why…Why can’t you just learn to shut up and listen?!” Sam shouted, still standing in place where she was now a few steps away from Raph. “Do you honestly think I wanted this? You think that I openly joined that shitty clan? I’d rather die than loyally join them! But you wouldn’t know that because you can’t keep your mouth shut!” Sam now slowly started walking forward. “Sam, wait-” “SHUT UP!” As Sam screamed out, forceful wind gusts flew out to the sides of her body. “You don’t know anything, god there’s still so much that you don’t yet know and understand. But hey, months of getting to know someone obviously doesn’t mean shit to you. Someone telling you about the most terrifying and scarring parts of their life obviously DOESN’T MEAN SHIT to you. Watching someone breakdown in front of you, open their heart to you, you saw all of that fist hand, and how do you react? You degrade that person’s family and call them a liar! This is why I didn’t come to you guys in the first place, I knew you would react this way, ESPECIALLY YOU! I knew I made the right decision when I did and you’ve given me all the proof I need that I never should have trusted you EVER. You know how trapped you feel right now, that fear of not being able to control a damn thing that’s about to happen to you? I’ve been living that way since Thursday night. Wrong, I’ve been living that way my entire life! You’re right, my life is so fucked up that I am broken, and now you’re going to know what it’s like to be broken to.” Raph’s eyes went wide as he saw Sam take quick steps towards him as she lifted her arm up, ready to throw another nasty punch at his face. She moved quickly, but not quick enough. Mikey had suddenly appeared and hooked his arms within Sam’s and with the momentum of her movements, he was able to forcefully pull her back. She stumbled back a few steps and instantly her expression softened as she saw him, but before she could react any further, Leo had jumped in and kicked her with as much force as he possibly could. Sam was sent flying towards the other side of the room and crashed into the wall. Her head was pounding and her back was as sore as ever. Again, before she could react in any type of way, Donatello had rushed over, and using his bo staff, he pushed Sam up and was pinning her neck against the wall, suffocating her as he did so. “Oh my god…” Mikey mumbled, barely able to speak from the shock he was in from the sights in front of him. “Raph? Raph?!” Leo shouted as he tried pulling his brother out of the wall. Mikey aided his older brother and within another minute Raph was free. He collapsed under Mikey’s hold once he was free. He was conscious, but just barely, and he had no real control over his body at the moment, all his energy focused on just keeping himself awake and conscious. Donnie finally eased up and let Sam’s body fall to the floor with a hard thud. She gasped for air as color returned to her face. Donnie and Leo quickly switched spots. Donnie rushed over and began looking Raph over for any major injuries. He checked his pulse and it seemed rather high, but it was gradually steadying back to normal. He then pulled out a small hand held x-ray device and checked to see if his brother had any serious internal damage. Luckily nothing was broken or torn which meant that he might have some serious sores and bruises, but nothing life threatening had happened to him. Hearing Donnie sigh out in relief signaled to Leo and Mikey that everything was going to be okay, but that relief quickly switched back over to rage. Leo looked down at Sam who looked like she was about to stand up, that is, until a katana was pulled out and the blade was placed in front of her face. Sam looked up at Leo and then back over at Raph. “No…” Sam was mortified. Even though Donnie had signaled that Raph would be okay, she knew that nothing was truly okay in this situation. She couldn’t believe what she had just done. Even if Raph had acted like a prick, he was still her friend, he was her brother, how could she have let herself get so carried away? How could she let her emotions get the best of her like this? “Don’t say anything” Leo snarled. Sam had never seen Leo or Donnie look as vicious as they did now, and she couldn’t even look at Mikey in fear of what his expression would reveal. “I can explain-” “I said don’t talk!” Leo shook his head. “You never could listen, could you?” Sam’s hands were shaking like crazy, and she was sweating more than she ever had in her entire life. She felt so many emotions, but more than anything she was afraid of losing everything she had just finally found. She needed these guys, she needed this family, HER family…or at least what was her family. Sam kept trying to explain, things just couldn’t end like this, not without the guys at least understanding the reasons for why all of this chaos had happened. “Leo please,” Sam softly said “I can explain-” “I don’t want to hear your explanation, it’s too late for that. We leave to go discuss how we should handle ‘you,’ and we have to rush back because you can’t control yourself. I don’t know what is and isn’t true about you anymore, but I WILL NOT give you any more chances to harm my family.” He spoke in a bitter tone and never ceased from holding his katana right in front of her face. Sam knew that she had hurt everyone in the room one way or another and that she had no right to speak or to fight in defending herself, but right now she was so desperate to not lose these guys. She needed them whether they wanted to believe it or not, and she wasn’t leaving without sharing her side of the story. “Leo please just listen to me, I didn’t mean for this to happen. The reason I hid from you guys was to prevent this from happening.” “Because that worked” Donnie said maliciously. Sam had never heard him talk in such a tone before which emphasized how out of control things had become. “I’m sorry…” “You think an apology is enough to fix this?” Donnie asked sourly, scrunching up his face as he glared at her. He shook his head at her. “You can’t undo this, you’ll never be able to get past this, and we’ll never forgive you for this.” “I know, but please-” she begged before getting cut off. “Then you know it’s time to leave.” Sam rapidly shook her head. “No. Not yet, not without at least explaining-” “We. Don’t. Care” Leo stated cruelly. Sam balled her hands up into fists. “After all of that, I’m not leaving until you at least know why it happened.” Sam was beginning to grow a temper again. She fought as hard as she could to control it so that she wouldn’t hurt anyone else, but nothing could prevent the sour tone that was now coming from her own voice. “If you dare to even raise a fist, I’ll cut it off” Leo stated through gritted teeth. “I didn’t know what to do and I didn’t know how you would react so I thought-” “Just get out Sam!” Donnie shouted. “No! Not until-” “Just go,” Mikey mumbled out as he stared at the floor in front of him. And that was all that needed to be said. Sam quickly glanced over at her friend, searching for a sign that he didn’t mean what he said, or even that she had misheard him. But she heard him correctly, and for the first time ever since they had met, Mikey was kicking her out. This was the final blow, the breaking point, the act that sent her over the edge. Those two words were all that needed to be said to signal to Sam that this was the end. After everything that she had shared with the turtles, after the tears she had shed in front of them, after all she went through in opening up to them and telling them the entire truth about her past, the only people she had ever confided in with such details would no longer be part of her life, ever. Once she left the room she knew she would never see or talk to them ever again. It would go back to how things were before she had met them, but this time it would be even worse. She had gained four more brothers, and once again her family was being ripped away from her thanks to the Foot clan. There was still so much they didn’t know, but none of that mattered now. She knew that they didn’t care and they never would and they just wanted to make her a made up bad dream of the past, and she decided that she better start living with that mindset as well as she stared at the floor and slowly began to rise to her feet. She didn’t speak and her hands weren’t shaking anymore as she stood up and began walking towards the exit. She made sure not to look at any of the boys as she left, knowing it would instantly lead to tears flowing from her eyes, so she stared straight ahead and exited the room without ever looking back once. She hoped and would have begged for any of them, especially Mikey, to have stopped her…but not a word was spoken as she walked towards the exit.

After Sam had left the room, the dojo was filled with nothing but silence. The usually loud and chaotic room was now so silent that you could hear a pin drop. All three boys helped get Raph to his room and by that time he was starting to recuperate some. Once that was settled, all four brothers wondered off to their rooms, each wanting to be alone after all that had happened that night. Each one would view and handle the situation differently from the others, which unknowingly would lead to more tension, but for now, they all just wanted to be by themselves and try their best to control their emotions and their thoughts before it led any of them to do something they’d regret.

 Author’s Note: Sorry this chapter is so short. This was originally supposed to be part of the previous chapter, but after I had planned everything out I felt that it would be best to write them separately.

I hope you guys liked this chapter. I’ve been anticipating this part of the story for a while now and I can’t believe I’ve actually reached this point in the story. I’m sorry if it’s rude to ask this, but if possible could you guys leave some type of feedback as to how you felt when reading this chapter? I try my best to keep the turtles in character and if possible I’d like to know if it seems that I’m still doing that or if it seems like I’m stretching things a bit, like to a point where a reader would think “whoa there’s no way so-and-so character would say/do that!”

Also, was the fighting and arguing scene alright? I wanted it to be intense and rough because that’s what this whole situation is and it’s going to have a huge impact on the turtles and how they handle what has happened, but at the same time I didn’t want to go overboard and make Raph and Sam seem like twisted psycho killers or anything like that. I really wanted to hone in on how each character would feel and would react in these moments, so hopefully the way the fights went down was alright for you guys.

Again, thank you guys for sticking with me so far and your feedback means the world to me it truly does. I’ll see you guys again in the next chapter J

[ronnykblair]

10 Years of Running This Business: My Top 10 Red-Pill Truths

Ten years ago this week, I officially launched M&I.

If you do a quick survey of your friends, acquaintances, and co-workers, you probably can’t find anyone else who has held the same job for 10 years.

Which makes me lucky, insane, or a bit of both.

To put the time in perspective, I started out when Lehman Brothers and Bear Stearns still existed, and when Donald Trump was best known for The Apprentice.

The first iPhone had been released months ago, everyone was incredulous at Facebook’s $15 billion valuation (it’s now worth $500+ billion), and people were certain that Hillary Clinton would be the next President.

And I was young, naïve, and eager to quit my job and live the dream running an online business from a beach in Thailand.

Since then, I’ve taken the red pill.

I’ve launched products and services, hired and fired people, survived crazy relationships in both New York and Korea, and traveled and lived around the world.

And I’ve I learned some uncomfortable truths in the process.

I came up with dozens, but here are my top 10:

1) If You’re an International Student, Watch Out! Universities Are Exploiting You

There has been a massive increase in the number of international students at universities in the U.S., U.K., and other Western countries over the past decade.

Universities might claim they’re doing this to “embrace diversity” or “go global,” but don’t be fooled: It’s mostly about the money.

International students in the U.S. are not eligible for most government aid, so students must pay close to the list price – which means they either come from wealthy families or borrow hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Many universities, especially in the lower tiers, are in dire straits financially, so they need the money. It’s a match made in heaven.

Just one small problem: It is very difficult to get a work visa after graduation, especially if you majored in a non-STEM subject. And even if you do get a work visa, there’s no guarantee that you’ll get to stay in the country indefinitely.

So, you apply, accept admission, pay a small fortune… and then get sent back after graduation.

To get around this, you need to start early and major in a STEM subject, attend a Master’s program and do the same, or give up and return to your home country.

2) The Fundamentals of Recruiting Don’t Change, But the Details Do

The truth is, not that much about finance recruiting has changed, despite what random 18-year-olds say online.

I just glanced at my emails from 2007-2008, and there were a lot of questions about networking, winning interviews from an unknown state school, overcoming low grades, and moving into banking as a career changer.

And today… the questions and comments are virtually identical.

Even in the reader interviews I conduct, the accounts of networking and interviewing at banks have stayed consistent over the years.

The top three points that have changed are:

Candidate Pool – Banks can no longer get “the best and the brightest” because finance jobs have become less appealing. Smart and accomplished people from top schools still go into the field, but the average quality is lower.

Timing – Summer-internship recruiting and buy-side recruiting now start so early that it is almost comical; these early start dates partially explain why banks no longer get the best candidates. If this trend continues, banks will soon be recruiting summer interns from elementary school, 15 years in advance of internships.

Required Technical Knowledge – You need to know significantly more about accounting, valuation, and financial modeling to win offers these days, particularly at the elite boutiques.

These points may seem significant, but think about how much has not changed:

Your story is still critical, and you still tell it in a similar way.

Technical questions still cover the same topics.

You still use emails, LinkedIn, and informational interviews to network in the same way.

I have been revising and updating articles on this site, but that’s mostly because I didn’t capture everything correctly the first time around – not because there have been massive changes.

3) Your University Friends & Network Are Incredibly Valuable… But Only Up to a Certain Age

I’ve lived and worked around the world in the past decade: South Korea, Australia, Argentina, Finland (kind of), Spain, and more.

But I’ve made almost no long-term friends in these places.

Almost everyone in my current social circle is from university or is connected to it in some way (friend of a friend, referral, etc.).

In school, you don’t need a specific reason to become friends with someone, which makes it easier to develop friendships “just because.”

Once you graduate, friendships tend to become more situational and transient.

You might become friends with someone at your new job, but once the person leaves, that’s it.

But the network you develop in school tends to withstand work and geographical changes more readily.

On the other hand, it also gets weaker over time as people settle down, have families, and drift into new fields.

So, you need to replace lost connections and develop a non-university network as you get older.

I’ve done a poor job of this, so I’m not sure I have any specific tactical advice.

But I have observed that “work friends” tend to disappear more quickly than others, so a starting point might be to depend more on activities/hobbies and less on co-workers.

4) Don’t Build a $5,000 Product for a $500 Market

One of my biggest mistakes, detailed in Part 5 of my Life Story, was taking the financial modeling courses and guides I created in 2009-2011 and revamping them to make them 10x more detailed.

Each new case study was based on a real company or deal, and there were SEC filings, press releases, industry research, channel checks, and more.

There were 32-page stock pitches, 50-slide pitch books, Excel models with thousands of rows, and 100+ hours of video.

And… no one cared.

Crickets.

I made the mistake of listening to a vocal minority who wanted “more advanced material” rather than the vast majority who simply wanted efficient training.

Also, I ignored the ugly truth that most people who buy educational products – even expensive ones – do not use them.

We get customers who pay $1,000 or $2,000 and then don’t even open the files or submit their resume/CV for editing.

And if someone does use the product extensively, he/she still tends to value brevity more than 543,123 hours of training.

More comprehensive products don’t necessarily sell better; people are willing to pay a certain amount for certain products/services, and “quality” is tough to define and use as a selling point.

I’m now reversing this mistake by replacing the courses with shorter, simpler versions, but I should never have gone down this path in the first place.

5) Don’t Hire Friends, Family, or Acquaintances

Almost all my hiring mistakes have happened because I hired a friend, a friend-of-a-friend, or an acquaintance rather than a professional.

If you run a business, you may be tempted to hire someone you know because “He/she would be great, and you already know him/her!”

But as Admiral Ackbar might say, it’s a trap!

People you already know personally tend not to respect you as an authority figure, and they often drag personal issues into the job.

One time, I hired a friend to do some design work in the early days of M&I, and he was 6 months late finishing the project because he was busy with his new band.

Another time, a friend I had hired in a customer support role couldn’t answer questions because his roommate locked him out, and he had to use an ax to force open the door.

No joke – he sent me the photos of the broken door.

You get the idea.

You could make a case for co-founding a company with a friend, family member, or acquaintance, but stay away from hiring them as subordinates.

6) If Customer Service is Killing You, You’re Doing Something Wrong

You read a lot of stories about “customer-centric” companies like Zappos killing it because they are responsive and willing to chat with you on the phone 24/7 to resolve problems.

I followed a similar philosophy a long time ago.

I used to kill myself staying up until 3 AM fixing customers’ Excel files, answering every incoming pre-sales question, and even offering phone consultations.

If someone wasn’t happy with even one small part of the product, I went out of my way to please them with free bonuses, services, and my own time.

But eventually, I realized it was all pointless:

80%+ of Customers Don’t Even Ask Questions: There are about 34,000 active BIWS accounts and ~13,000 submitted questions right now. Even if you assume that each question is from one unique customer, 62% of our users have never even asked a question. And the real percentage is much higher – probably 80-85% – because the same 5-10 users tend to ask questions repeatedly.

Fewer Than 5% Ask Questions Before Buying: Yes, even with products priced at $197, $497, $997, and $1,497, we get relatively few questions. Be skeptical of people who claim you “need” to do phone or in-person sales above a certain price point.

The problem with the “Zappos approach” is that someone with complex or demanding requests is unlikely to be satisfied by any response.

You can go out of your way and spend hours attending to the problem, and the person will still not be satisfied because he/she is inherently a difficult person.

So, why bother?

“Customer service” might be a differentiating factor in a commoditized business (online shoe sales), but if you’re selling highly specialized or luxury products/services, don’t kill yourself.

Get the offer, the pricing, and the marketing right, and provide competent-but-not-Zappos-like service afterward.

7) The Facts Don’t Matter – Only the Story Does

When I started this site, I had a serious problem: I knew the industry, and I was confident I could coach clients and teach the technical side, but I had zero credibility.

I was very young, and in real life, I didn’t come across like the stereotypical banker at all.

I seemed more like a tech/startup person, and people sometimes didn’t believe I was in finance.

So, I did what any good storyteller would do: I invented a new identity (“The Inquisitor”) that was better aligned with the market.

If I could demonstrate my competence with content and client results, my actual credentials and qualifications – or lack thereof – wouldn’t matter.

Early articles made it sound like I was Patrick Bateman crossed with Jordan Belfort from The Wolf of Wall Street.

I never gave detailed information about myself because I wanted you to come up with your own story about me.

Any story that you create and tell yourself is far more powerful than any story that I could tell you.

It worked!

Back in 2008-2009, many visitors assumed that I was an anonymous Director or Managing Director at a large investment bank.

Anyone who read between the lines and beyond the lines was skeptical, but this is the Internet: Critical thinking is an endangered species.

The usual reaction was: “He has a ton of helpful, in-depth content. Judging by this content and my interactions, he must be an experienced banker who knows this stuff really well.”

To get around my lack of formal credentials and qualifications, I relied on the story.

And if you want to get ahead, so should you.

8) Raise Prices

When Tim Ferriss interviewed Marc Andreessen on his podcast, he asked him the famous “billboard” question:

Tim Ferriss: “If you could have one billboard, anywhere with anything on it, what would you put on it? If you wanted to convey a short message to as many people as possible.”

Marc Andreessen: “I’ve got one, I’ve actually thought about hiring a skywriter to do this one. Right in the heart of San Francisco would be a billboard with just two words on it: Raise Prices.”

Pricing is the #1 mistake that startups make.

It’s certainly one of the top 2-3 mistakes I’ve made.

And it’s almost always the same mistake: Entrepreneurs price their products and services too low, which sets the perception that their products and services can’t be any good.

Then, they can’t afford the sales & marketing required to sell them… and when nothing sells, they cut prices again, making their products look even worse and even harder to sell.

Here are my top pricing mistakes:

Industry-Specific Courses: Initially priced at $97, even though competitors’ courses were in the $497 – $997 range. I should have started at $247 or $347 at the very least; when I finally increased prices to $247, units sold increased!

Interview Guide: Started at $47, went to $97 after a year, and stayed at $97 for almost a decade, even as the content and services multiplied. When we raised the price to $197 in June this year, the dollar volume of sales increased by 2.5x.

Releasing New Versions for Free: When Microsoft releases a new version of Office, do you get it for free? No! You pay for an upgrade, or you get it as part of an annual or monthly subscription.

If I could go back in time, I would fix everything above and gradually increase prices over the years.

9) Make Your Money Early – But Not Too Early

As I’ve written about before, money affects you in unexpected ways.

Coming from a lower-middle-class family and graduating from university with over $100K in student loans, I’ve become more isolated as I’ve gained wealth.

It’s difficult to relate to friends and family members who are struggling to earn more when I have the opposite problem (money, but almost no free time).

But… I’m much happier to be in this position than the “I’m in my mid-to-late 30s, don’t have a stable career, and don’t have enough money” position.

Once you reach that age, it becomes difficult to amass significant wealth with conventional methods.

Careers like investment banking, consulting, and private equity are shut off, so your main options are to start your own business, join a VC-backed startup and win the lottery, or start a side hustle such as real estate.

Those sound nice in theory, but your free time and motivation drop as you get older.

Having kids will annihilate your free time, but even without them, you’ll get sucked into more family/legal/other issues, you may develop health problems, and your day job will get busier with age.

So, if your goal is wealth, act on it when you’re young.

But there is one corollary: Don’t make too much money when you’re too young.

Most of my friends and acquaintances who hit the jackpot by working at companies like Facebook or Google in their early 20s haven’t done much since then.

Making millions or tens of millions at that age is like entering a cheat code in a video game: You win the game, but the boss battles are boring.

It’s good to struggle, fail, pivot, and change because it makes the journey more interesting and the final boss battle more rewarding.

As a rough guideline, I’d say that 20 years after university graduation is a good time frame to target for “financial security.”

I won’t define that term precisely because it means different things to different people.

At that point, you could downshift and focus on family or double down and feel secure enough to start another venture.

10) Don’t Stay in the Finance Industry for the Long Term

You could still make a strong case for starting out in investment banking and spending a few years there.

You gain a well-defined skill set, a solid network, and client/transaction experience that will be valuable everywhere.

But the long-term industry prospects have become much worse – everything from compensation to automation to the increasingly-under-pressure hedge fund/asset management/private equity industries.

Plus, you do nothing useful for the world.

Most of your work involves making rich people even richer, so you arguably make the world worse.

There are occasional exceptions, but they are few and far between.

The only good reasons to stay in finance for the long term are:

You Care About Money and Nothing Else – For example, $1 million is not enough; you need at least $10-20 million, or you’ll be a failure.

You Find the Work Legitimately Interesting – If you enjoy the process of digging into financial statements, wining/dining clients, or advising on deals, then sure, knock yourself out.

Another 10 Years?

As you can tell from the tone of this article, my enthusiasm has declined quite a bit.

I could explain that in many ways: Worsening market conditions, sillier and sillier questions, less rewarding interactions, and increased time spent on minutiae.

But the simplest explanation is often the best one: Ten years is a really long time to spend on one job, especially when that job barely changes.

I don’t necessarily want to quit, but I do expect to change the format of this site in the future.

For example, I may delete the less-popular articles, focus on keeping the top 100-200 updated, and occasionally write something new.

The good news is that I’m more interested in expanding/improving the BIWS courses, so you’ll see updates there far into the future.

I could see that lasting for another decade – even if M&I, in its curren from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/10-years-top-10-red-pill-truths/