#i am not to be truffled with

[wheels-of-despair]

Revenge of the Freaks Summary: The Hellfire Club does April Fool's Day a little differently. Contains: Sweet revenge, don't try this at home. Words: 1k-ish Note: Part of my Evil Woman universe, but more of a Hellfire story than an explicit Eddie pairing. Can be read as a standalone.

Everybody expects to get pranked on April Fool's Day.

Everyone, everywhere, is suspicious of everything. Especially at Hawkins High. Even the cafeteria ladies get side-eyed when students pick up their trays, wondering if there's a little something extra in their pudding today. No one touches the salt and pepper shakers. No one accepts any gifts. Don't even bother trying to share your food. Check the toilet for plastic wrap before you use it. Beware the sink. For 24 hours, everyone is on high alert.

Because everyone is expecting to get pranked on April 1st.

They are not, however, expecting to get pranked on April 2nd.

As your April Fool's Day prank for the Hellfire table, you brought in cookies.

Not toothpaste Oreos. Those are a waste of both toothpaste and cookies. (Although nobody would've complained about being the designated Eater of the Creme Filling.)

Your April Fool's Day Cookies contained M&M's, Reese's Pieces, and Skittles. It counted as a prank because nobody was sure exactly what they were biting into, other than a circle of butter and sugar. But they were actually quite good. You passed them around, and you all shared a laugh and a few cookies. In case anyone was watching.

On April 2nd, when everyone let their guards down and thought they were safe again, Hellfire would strike.

People would suspect Eddie. Eddie was loud and lively and definitely stood out. The rest of you? Unless someone was looking for a punching bag, you all seemed to sort of fade into the background.

You'd be using this to your advantage.

You'd been plotting for months, and finally had a game plan in place.

For Jackie, who asked out Gareth on a dare and burst out laughing when he stuttered through his nervous response, a locker full of dead ladybugs. You'd found a pile of them in the attic and didn't want them to go to waste, so you swept them into a plastic bag and kept them for a special occasion. Showing her what a lady looked like seemed like a good one.

For Chip and his fancy new car, which he nearly ran over Jeff with while revving obnoxiously and laughing with his friends, a piece of bologna on the hood. It would fry in the sun during the school day and leave a marvelously discolored circle there, until his daddy paid to get it fixed. Until then, someone might throw out the phrase "asshole-mobile" a few times and hope it stuck.

For Brandon, who drew unflattering caricatures of Grant on the blackboard in first period every day for a week before he lost interest, a mouse trap would find its way into his backpack. A thoughtful gift for his creative hands. No idea how it got there.

For Troy, who successfully tripped Mike into Lucas one day and attempted to stuff Dustin into a locker the next, tiny bits of chocolate would appear on his chair. (The smaller the pieces, the faster they melt.) The boys had told you about a similar kind of incident with Troy in middle school, and you didn't want to ruin his reputation.

For Ashley, who took credit for spreading the rumor that you were spreading your legs for all of the freaks in town, a very professional-looking letter from the Hawkins Free Clinic would arrive at her house to inform her that she had a venereal disease. Several pamphlets on safe sex were included.

For Mrs. O'Donnell, whose hatred of Eddie seemed to intensify by the day, a loose screw on her desk chair. It would be a real shame if she were to fall on her ass so hard, it broke the stick that had been up it since 1962.

For Jason, who was generally unpleasant to you all, tiny balloons that appeared to be haunting him. Everywhere he went, a tiny balloon or two would appear on the ground nearby. This puzzled everyone, until somebody loudly suggested that he had to use those because regular condoms were too big for him. Wonder who that could have been.

And for the rest of the basketball team, something special to show your appreciation for the way they ruled both the court and the school. Let's go, Tigers.

A few weeks ago, you and Eddie had taken a little trip to a pharmacy two towns over and bought the cheapest, worst-smelling perfume you could find. It was the kind of perfume that an old lady in a fake fur coat might wear to Bingo on Wednesday nights at the VFW. The kind of smell that made you wish the stench of moth balls in her clothes was a little stronger, to help overpower it.

The Hawkins High gym lockers are more open than the lockers in the hallway. Instead of the standard slats on the top and bottom, there's a wire grate to allow for better airflow. Nobody likes a pile of sweaty teenage gym clothes. Just a few pumps of spray into the grate would have their letterman jackets smelling so bad, it was like a warning system. A Jock Alarm, if you will. You'd always be able to smell them coming, because that stuff wasn't ever going to come out.

Eddie spent all of his free time that day in the library, on his best behavior, under the watchful eye of the stern librarian. He was a good boy, just trying to work quietly on his English essay so he could graduate. She would attest to this, if asked, because he gave her a dandelion when he came in and smiled at her every time he got up to sharpen his pencil near her desk.

The recipients of your little gifts may have had their suspicions, but they couldn't prove a thing. No one paid attention to the nameless, faceless freaks of Hawkins High. No one batted an eye when a two-minute trip to the bathroom actually took eight. Or when an unfamiliar face passed through a hallway it had no classes in. Or when someone changed their shirt between periods because it suddenly smelled like an old lady.

After all, why would anyone want to prank people on April 2nd?

[smalltimidbean]

On the 10th day of December, someone gave to me - A Very Large Fish

Truffle goes for a swim! Well, she does every day! She lives there!

[gerbits]

coming whenever...

[hazelnut-dreams]

REDRAW!

October 2023

-------------------------------------------------

January 2022

[vamp-a-day]

day 48

thank you for enabling my impulses, here's a comic [x]

[nazumichi]

locked in eternal combat with this beast (stomach pain)

[pansyfemme]

my biggest confession is that while i like every fruit and every vegetable in the entire world i actually do not like some mushrooms very much.. and i am so ashamed of it and trying to get better but i cannot make myself like button mushrooms they are not good tasting.. i hate disliking foods i hate itttttttt

[dragonsongmakhali]

y'all the kind words on my 2023 wrapped post I am CRYONG

[likelylarks]

we’re set for tomorrow but i have not made day 31 of 31 days of maxiel and i am SO tempted to just do another one about maxiel missing each other,,, but it’s the last one so is that a let down? how 🎉🎉🎆🎇🎆🎉🎉 should the last one be?? anyone who’s following it, are y’all opposed to more of the same? do y’all want smth a little extra? pls share thoughts xx

[xannerz]

media literacy is dead

[sunsetzer]

Is there a way to "convert" qi gems to g by like.. buying items with them and then selling them? I'm guessing possibly buying qi seasoning and then selling the items I cook with it?? But I'm not entirely sure

[rialitysworld]

wh- mushroom hate???? :( <- lover of mushroom

i have never liked mushrooms and i try to eat them like once a year to see if i still hate them and trust me, the mushroom hate has been there for 27 years and is apparently not going away

[kyloreno-911]

I made chocolate truffles coated in toasted coconut for my nerd to take to his nerd game. Last week it was orange cream crinkle cookies. I am turning into martha stewart help me.

[gerbits]

hehe they cute

[nulfaga]

Btw i am reading the master and margarita and i'm sure w/ the right cultural context i would love this book more than my (hypothetical) firstborn child. But as it is (and it is) i'm just speedreading to get to the b-plot chapters

[ginkovskij]

top 5 foodsies 😳

Asking THE question, I see. So difficult.

Cheese. All of them, yes. My favourites ways to have it are: 1. savoury local cheese with honey, complemented by fruits like grapes, dates, figs (top 1 summer meal); 2. fondue savoyarde (top 1 winter meal)

Potatoes. You know I am a fan. I like them mostly in the form of frico, burek (thank you Balkan Bäckerei forever), and roasted with rosmary.

Panforte.

Game. This one is super rare for me to have, because where I live there isn't really any. I tried it in France, Austria and North Italy when I was super lucky. My favourites dishes are: braised duck with homemade noodles in truffle sauce; steaklet of duck glazed with honey; this big dish with chamois and fillet of deer that were a super lucky catch.*

Pesto. The best part of having a nonna ligure is that she is super fussy about making pesto hehe.