#i am now going to get an ice cream and take so much melatonin

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I meal prepped, cleaned my room after putting off forrrrr *squints* "two whole years" and then wrote 3k noncon porn. I am,,,,, an adult who is adulting so well rn

[rothjuje]

New wood was delivered. I like it enough. Install Monday and I am relieved.

Gen can pee and poop on the potty but it is such a fight to get her to do it I don’t know what to do. I might do the bribery method (she gets a dollar store prize every time she goes). My friends are telling me to wait because she gets slightly more reasonable every day but I so wanted her potty trained before turning 3. Sigh.

We have tiny little tree frogs here and they are so cute, even when they find their way into our house.

Alyssa started riding the bus last week and it has made mornings far more challenging but she loves it.

George slept great with melatonin for about 8 nights and now is back to his business of 4 am wake ups. If the previous day was napless I can get him back down within an hour. So it could be worse. I slacked off with the magnesium lotion so I started that up again, I do feel that it helped him to stay asleep.

I learned that ice cream here is seasonal. Ice cream shops close down in October and open back up in April. I mean, it makes sense. But how sad for me.

Everyone (every single person) keeps talking about the winter. The cold feels MUCH colder here because the humidity. It’s 40 in the mornings now and my butt is so cold I’m going to start wearing a sweatshirt tied around my waist.

Visited Maine for the first time since we moved. I went there in 2014 and it was kind of overcast and eh. I think I have a newfound appreciation for all nature after being in Texas for 8 years because Maine was stunning. And the water was such a pretty color.

Thanks for all the messages about ADHD med experiences. I have met so many adults that take medication for their ADHD here. I’d never really thought about my struggles being ADHD related but the more I read about ADHD I’m actually kind of surprised it took me this long to do something about it.

[pbandjesse]

I am sitting on our airplane right now! James doesn't seem in as much distress as then did last time, or during take off. So I can be a little more relaxed because they are. I hate seeing them in so much abject terror.

Thankfully they seem a little better. And besides so stupid stress that was outside of our control today went really well. All things considered. And we should be home before midnight.

After I finished my post last night we would watch the sun set and go and get an ice cream cone. Which was so much better then the first night when it was just ice. Which made us both laugh because we had avoided it all week thinking it was just bad. We would wander for a while. While watching Canada come in people were standing on the pier and waving and singing and saying hello and it was such a sweet little human moment. Those moments where we are just reaching out to each other. It was so cute. And while we watched the sun set with the mountains in the distance a seal popped out of the water! I even got it making a little twist before it swam away and it was the best. Made me feel so happy.

We would go and write out review and thanks to our room attendant, I also drew him a little picture of the towel swans. We sat in the card room for the last time.

We would go back to the room eventually though. To enjoy bridge cam for the last time. And go through our bags to make sure we had a plan for the last few things. It was going to be tight for sure but we would make it work. I was really proud of us.

I took a melatonin to try and easy my racing thoughts. And it mostly helped. I would fall asleep easier. But I woke up at midnight. I'm glad I did because I had a text. Confirming our pickup at the pier point.

But the issue was it was for 6am. This was wrong. We had called on Friday and told them the correct time. They said that was fine. But this was wrong. So I texted the number back, unsure if it was a real person but it was. And they were very much not helpful. They just were like. No, you didn't contact us, you made this appointment. And I said no sorry we didn't, Amtrak did, and we contacted you on Friday. And this person had the audacity to ask me what they wanted them to do about it now it was midnight. Dude you were the one who contacted me at midnight!! What do you mean??? They asked when our flight was. I said 11. And they said they probably wouldn't have a driver for me at 8, when we were allowed off the ship. And I said okay let me know in the morning. And then I tried to sleep.

My anxiety was super high. I only had 20 minutes left of wifi. I needed to have a plan. Thankfully Seattle is a city and a cab would be $40 and not the worst thing in the world. I sent James a text so they would know what was up. It wouldn't make sense to wake them up and stress them too.

So I stayed up until around 2. Watching videos. I watched a really interesting one about Nazi dog whistles and the bored ape vacation club nft and how there are wild connections between the two. But because it's multi layered Internet culture most people wouldn't ever know how many Nazi connections are there. Which is both super shocking and not surprising at all. Dog whistles are so insidious because there is always the plausible deniability. But it's important to know them.

James would wake up to use the bathroom and I filled them in about the pick up. They agreed we would handle it. And that gave me the reassurance to fall back asleep.

It wasn't amazing sleep. And waking up at 6 I didn't feel great. I tried my best to wake myself up with water and a little stretching. And then it was just. The last things to pack, the double checking. And then breakfast.

I honestly felt to sick to eat. The idea of eating the same breakfast I really enjoyed all week make me nauseous. I was not having a good time. I sat at our table with my head in my hands I felt so ill. It just makes me think about being a kid, how often my stomach hurt, especially before events and activities. Even if I really wanted to do them, the transition to them l, the unknown variables of other people, it's wild that I have only realized that that was probably just anxiety, still is anxiety, like two months ago. I just thought I was nervous but it turns out most people don't get such intense stomach pains and nausea. James has been so sweet about it but I know it's probably a little annoying. I love them for supporting me when I'm suffering.

We went back to our room and got our bags and said goodbye to our room. We went to the 6th deck but after sitting there for a few minutes I went to check and the staff told me we would be leaving from deck 7. So I went and got James and we went up there. Except when we got there they told us the end of the line was on the other side of the deck. Alright. So we struggled and got through to that side. Where they told us the line was on the other side? And while all the staff can speak English there was for sure some confusion and something getting lost in translation. The second staff member asked me who told us to come down there, like he wanted a name, but I didn't know their name and also I'm not a snitch. But he came back with us and we found that the line was actually coming from both directions, so we got in the spot where they intersected.

Where everyone was complaining. Like guys it's fine. Well get off eventually. And like I feel for people that made flights to early but why would you make an 8am flight? Bad idea. We were cutting it close with our noon flight. But it would be fine.

I started feeling better while talking to people. Dazzling them with our small bags and packing abilities. Chatting about what we liked about the flight. Met some navy vets and got to talk about Torsk and how we met on the USS Constellation. People congratulating us on our honeymoon. It was a nice way to end the cruise.

We went through the security check. James seemed anxious still but we made it out together. And once we were outside a taxi driver was like. Follow me! And he was booking it but James kept up. I have little legs and could only keep up so well. James came back and I said I'm only getting in this cab if it's a yellow cab. And thankfully it was. No scam there. He was a nice guy but his driving left something to be desired. At least we could have the windows open.

The drop off lane was wild so we all decided he should just drop us off at the pick up side of the airport and we'll just figure it out. Was that technically a ticketable offense? Probably. But we got out and said goodbye and we were at the airport.

James likes to go to the desk and get printed tickets. Which is fine with me. So we did that and then to TSA. Where I made sure we had everything out and ready. And I just enjoyed people watching.

My favorite was a little girl and her mom. It was clearly when first time on a plane and she exclaimed that it was "just like a ferry but with lots more people!" And that was just so cute. They take a lot of ferries in Seattle so her connection to that made sense but it was so sweet. Also she had little purple and white cowboy boots on and it was just so cute.

We got pulled at TSA because my suitcase had James's book in it and it looks strange on the x-ray. But the man was very nice and figured it out first and was kind. Sometimes they can be so mean for no reason. So this was very pleasant.

But we still had a few hours to waste. We stopped to reset ourselves. I accidentally ripped my necklace off and had to take a minute to fix the chain. Which is hard when you have no tools but I used my teeth and will fix it better at home.

We decided to explore. We both wanted cinnamon things. I wanted a pretzel and James a cinnabun but no luck. While this was a really nice airport it had almost no chains! Except Starbucks which it had 8 of. Ah well. Instead we road the tram/train between gates. Got a grilled cheese made with the fancy cheese we saw being made at pikes place. And it was very good. James was grimacing from pain in their shoulder where they have their plate from the accident. While the backpack suitcase was a great find it is hard for James to keep taking it on and off. And it was just heavy. So we went and found a seat. And ate my sandwich and talked a little.

Eventually the flight before ours left and we were able to get seats at the gate. Charged our phones. And I drew and worked on my embroidery for a while.

The agents at the gate asked for people to check bags again. This was a larger plane but it is also full. So we checked our bags. And I ended up having a conversation with the woman about James's injury and it turns out her daughter also was in a bike accident but the paramedics apparently didn't think anyone survived at first so they weren't moving to fats but thank God someone noticed because her daughter was alive and barely hurt, just stuck with her bike in the windshield! Wild. We both felt very lucky that we have our loved ones still.

Me and James would secretly text while standing next to each other about the shitty husband we overheard. It was like this shitty husband's on TikTok! He went and got a sandwich for himself and called her a selfish brat when she asked if she got anything. Then sent her off to find him hummus apparently and while he was gone he spilled his coffee all over the floor and her bag and didn't even try to clean it up. Then when she came back without hummus he basically completely dismissed her and she said she wanted to get food as well and he acted like she was being so stupid. She looked so defeated it broke my heart. It made James say comparatively they are a great husband and I was like hey! Stop being mean to my husband, you are a great husband.

Soon we would get on the plane. And we got seats over the wing again. We thought we would leave on time and actually get to Washington a little early but no luck. Maintenance had to come out and check something and we left a little late. Ah well.

The plane just landed in Washington! It was a pretty easy flight all things considered. I did not sleep. I did get my last digital drawing done and did some embroidery. I made it another couple chapters into my book. And hoenslty besides having the pee basically the entire time but being to nervous to use the airplane bathroom, it was a pretty comfortable flight. James didn't seem so stressed out. I was pretty comfortable overall.

Now we are waiting to get off the plane. They haven't opened the doors yet but hopefully soon.

We did get off the plane pretty fast. This is for sure the ugliest airport I've ever been too. It's just kind of dirty. It has dropped ceilings and they all had moisture stains. Gross. Also they had a shuttle system to get to the main hub. Which was packed and poorly designed so everyone was having a bad time. Then we had to get on a second shuttle bus to go to the rental car and there is basically no signage explaining where to go or what to do. But James thankfully checked with a driver for a different company and soon the shuttle was here. Which was packed and pretty stuffy. But at least we were going the right way.

We are waiting in line for the rental car now. So I'm going to post this. We have about an hour and a half until we see home. I am so excited to see Sweetp and be in our space.

Tomorrow me and James will return the car and get groceries and do laundry and I have my rhumatologist appointment. I miss our trip but it also gave me a lot of perspective. I hope I can carry this joy for a while.

Good ight everyone. I hope you sleep well.

[yourlocalgrammarpolice]

Hourly comics except I'm bad at art so it's just a timeline:

1am: Went to sleep. Stayed up too late watching movies but oh well.

5:30am: First alarm went off, was too pissed to wake up fully, threw my iPad.

6:30am: My mom called me! She's so awesome I love her so much. :)

8:09am: I finally woke up. School starts at 8:20 though, so I didn't brunch my teeth and instead just threw on some jeans and made a mad dash for the door.

9:00am: English teacher is absent. Cue creepy old substitute struggling to understand English 3 coursework while the three vaping kids all go to the bathroom. Also, I didn't get to see my girlfriend this morning.

10:00am: I GET TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND LET'S FUCKING GO! We also watch the Sound of Music in Chorus. How fun! :D

11:00am: ACADEMIC ADVISING AND LUNCH! PIZZA! CORN!!! CURLY FRIES!!! GIRLFRIEND TIME!!!!

12:00pm: Lunch was tasty but now my stomach hurts. Threw up a lil but kept it down for the most part.

1:00pm: In Mythology class, talking shit about the Beta Convention, because they want me to give them my $200 Captain America shield for a skit.

2:00pm: GOING TO PROBABILITY AND STATISTICS! LOVE THAT CLASS, MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN IT!

3:00pm: I'm kinda over this class, but it's okay, my girlfriend has her hand on my back so I can work. :)

4:00pm: Went home, then had to go get a doctor's note for a field trip. Forced dad to listen to my music. He does not like 100 Gecs.

5:00pm: They tried taking me to church. They failed. >:) Instead, I watched Markiplier play The Stanley Parable Ultra Deluxe.

6:00pm: I'm stinky. I should shower. (I did not shower) (Instead I made soup and continued the Markiplier vid) (and also gave my dog some doggy ice cream)

7:00pm: I'm still stinky. What if instead of showering, I packed for a trip I am not taking, so I can see exactly what a weeks worth of care looks like?

8:00pm: I am now surrounded by mess. Instead of cleaning up, I'll go shower! After that, I ate more soup.

9:00pm: I am now on the phone with my girlfriend. I have thrown up again. She is consoling me because I am upset that I threw up my delicious soup.

10:00pm: I have taken two Benadryl and 12mg of melatonin. Good night.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, August 8th, 2024!

9:13am: Having a monster rn. Wt this am is 191.8 with clothes. Sleep was pretty shit last night and my period is still going but not as bad now that the bc is in. My preceptor is getting me chipotle today so RIP but free food is ok and she's just very sweet. That will just be my meal today lol. I should eat those cucumbers too but we'll see. I'm pale AF I really wish I could go out and tan and not get overheated. So many things I wish for.

+ multivitamin

7:46pm: Had the chipotle and it was good :) ~ 1000 cal. Got a water instead of a soda and haven't had anything else today. My school was having a pizza fundraiser and honestly I would've caved except that I would've had to put a bra back on and look decent again plus it's like 20+ minutes away and my legs are sore. So nope! Not today. I kinda want to get a diet coke and an olipop when I go out to get cat food. Brb. And magnesium tablets? Gummies? Idk

9:04pm: evolution strawberry vanilla probiotic soda 45 cal and it tastes like one of those strawberry shortcake ice cream truck bars that I like so much 10/10 would get again 5 gm of fiber + vit C

Vitamins were BOGO so I got the magnesium softgels* and got a melatonin 5mg for free so woo. Finna go to SLEEP. Omg I thought the magnesium smelled weird and it just made the cat gag lmao. Ok so I think I am gonna take both because I read online it takes the magnesium like a week to start working so bottoms up! Also got BOGO tempeh so I'm excited about that!

[sugarbutterbroadway]

David Jacobs and the multitude of excuses

Jack Kelly was beautiful. Fiercely beautiful, in a way that made David’s head spin. It didn’t matter that his lips always seemed to be chapped or his hair was messy or the fact that he was always covered in paint. David smiled, it seemed that Jack ended the day with more paint on himself than his canvas. It didn’t matter that he always wore the same hoodie, or doodled on the desks, or always laughed too loud. And it certainly didn’t matter that he made David’s heartbeat quicken if he even looked in his direction. It didn’t matter that he looked so damn handsome when he was painting, the way he stuck his tongue out, and seemed to pick apart every imperfection until he was satisfied. It didn’t matter that David had been madly in love with him since Freshman year.

None of that matters.

Because it was tech week of their final spring show and David had barely said more than two words to him. And the worst part of it all was that it wasn’t Jack’s fault, Jack was trying. David was just too much of a chicken to let him get too far.

“David, right?”he said, he hadn’t bothered to lift his gaze from the tree he was painting. David’s hands shook around his clipboard and he nodded until he realized Jack wasn’t looking. And after a few beats of silence he did look. He looked up at him through those hooded eyes and Davey had to get out of there. His eyes immediately flitted around the room looking for something, anything to complain about. He locked eyes with a freshman who was definitely doing something they weren’t supposed to and he jumped at the chance.

“Put that prop down!” he was stomping across the theatre before Jack could say anything.

Davey groaned, that sadly wasn’t the last time either.

“Hey, Davey!”Jack greeted. Davey’s eyes widened slightly and he squeezed the pen in his hand. No, no this wasn’t happening. He was running on two hours of sleep,a large dunkin donuts iced coffee and sheer spite. It didn’t seem like a good idea for him to be talking to anyone. Why did god hate him? He saw Jack walking closer and fumbled with his phone pressing it against his ear, he shot an apologetic look and spun around walking in the opposite direction.

“Mama? Yes, i’m on a break right now”

That wasn’t even the worse one.

He wasn’t having a good day. It was as simple as that. A conversation with his father at breakfast had  snowballed into criticism over his plans for college once again and he was tired. He was tired of hearing about his wasted potential, and how it was his obligation to educate the ignorant. He just wanted to be a director, why was that so hard to accept? This argument led to his mother suggesting he walk to school that day, and he relented cause mother knows best. But he hated walking, the school wasn’t necessarily close and the walk signs took forever. He just wanted to disappear and the day had just started. Then he had a pop quiz in calculus that he definitely wasn’t ready for, then he got hit in the face with a dodgeball, and then the vegetarian option at lunch was just nonexistent so he was hungry. His only solace was that he got to go home early. He had practically jumped for joy the second the final bell rang.

Until he was scheduled last minute for rehearsal that day. It shouldn’t have been such a big deal, they were usually so well behaved. But today must have been Spite David Day or at least that’s how he felt. Nothing went right, everyone had found some way to piss off the director, and she took her frustrations out on him for not ‘doing his job.’  So that’s how he found himself on the verge of a panic attack slumped against the wall of the auditorium. They were actively running the show, no one should’ve been out of the theatre. But out walked Jack Kelly, in all of his swagger. His eyes locked with Davey’s. Before he could even open his mouth, Davey had turned on his heels and ran. He ran until he was in a completely different wing and hid there until rehearsal was over.

So yes, Jack was trying. Trying harder than most to befriend him, and it touched Davey, it really did. But it was hopeless now, the show was next week and then there would be no reason for them to talk again. Maybe it would be better that way, all he seemed to do was make excuses. If Jack wanted to forget his existence entirely he wouldn’t blame him. He didn’t like confronting his feelings anyways. Pining was familiar, it was something he could do in his sleep. Which he often spent most nights doing, but that wasn���t the point! The point was that he felt comfortable right where he was. The longing and pining from afar zone.

So it was fine. He had blown his chance and he would just have to get over it. That was something he was also good at doing, getting over things. There were only a few hours left of tech, then he could go home,complain to Sarah and maybe have a good cry over some ice cream. Well maybe not Sarah, she’d heard enough about Jack Kelly over the years that she could probably recite the way his eyes twinkled when he laughed just as good as Davey. She was also due to snap any day now from the stress of his pining and AP History. So no, definitely not Sarah. The family cat was just as good when it came to listening even though she hated Davey. He’d go home,complain to Cosette—yes he had a phase—cry into his ice cream and then hopefully pass out on the couch. Hopefully. He hadn’t been sleeping well and he was all out of melatonin.

“Okay!”The director shouted. He startled, smacking his head on the wall he was resting on.“That was good, take fifteen”

Fifteen? What kind of sick joke was this? He quickly sidestepped, narrowly avoiding a herd of actors running past him shouting.“Thank you fifteen!”

He took a deep breath and let his shoulders sag, thank you fifteen indeed. He leaned his head back against the wall. The director seemed to be in a good mood, maybe she’d let them go soon so he could get his pity party started early.

“Davey.”

Oh no. His eyes focused on the figure stalking towards him and he sucked in a breath. Honestly, why did god hate him? He couldn’t speak. He was expecting Jack to slow down but he continued barreling towards him. He’s not sure what he expected during this break, but it wasn’t a strong—god was he strong—arm pulling him down the hallway into the boys dressing room. He sputtered as he was thrown inside and the door was locked behind them. And well, he froze. Deer in the headlights style because there was no way that still happened. He looked at the creases in his shirt from where it had been clenched, and he stared. He stared until a hand was snapping rapidly in his face. He looked forward and loandbehold there was Jack Kelly, looking about as pissed as he could muster. Which in his case was very, and honestly kind of terrifying. His eyebrows were furrowed in the most handsome way and his lips pulled up in a snarl.

Oh shit.

“What’s your problem?”He asked. That felt like a slap in the face and was once again something Davey was not expecting. He racked his mind for something to say, but he came up short. He was stunned. Jack waited a few beats before he exhaled harshly through his nose and shook his head.

“Huh?”He prompted, “You can’t even answer me?”

Davey winced and began shaking his head. His fingernails buried themselves in the palms of his hands as he desperately tried to stop the shaking. This isn’t how he wanted this to happen—hell he wasn’t even sure he wanted this to happen. The way he planned it happening was in the courtyard of the school, under that pretty cherry blossom tree that always bloomed so full. He’d have all the right things to say, he’d compliment Jack on his painting, say he’s seen him around the school. He’d be suave and daring and confident and everything that he currently wasn’t. While his inner turmoil was spinning Jack was pacing around the room, hands gripped in his hair, mumbling to himself. Damn, he even looked attractive ten seconds away from losing his shit. He spun to face Davey, eyes aflame.

“I ain’t asking you to like me, Davey”he said, he ran a hand through his hair. He seemed...he seemed nervous.“But at least let a guy know how you feel, this-this avoidin shit been stressin me out!”

“I’m sorry”Davey whispered. The words felt heavy on his tongue and he knew they were pathetic. He knew they weren’t the right thing to say, but maybe if he just apologized Jack would let it go. That seemed to do the opposite cause Jack let out a little laugh and shook his head.

“Don’t apologize Davey, it ain’t you. Just...am I out of my league here?”He asked, flinging his arms a bit

“Like, was I gettin them hints all wrong?”

“W-what?”Davey sputtered.

“I see the way you look at me”he said patiently, “But am I readin it all wrong?”

Maybe his subtle glances weren’t as subtle as he thought, but he didn’t want to read too deep into what Jack was saying. There was always room left for disappointment.

“Ho-how do i look at you then?”Davey asked.

“Like you wanna kiss me?”He questioned, “I don know!”

Davey felt his cheeks redden, and nope, nope this isn't happening. He bit his lip and followed Jack’s eyes as they travelled down to where his teeth sunk in. his heart did a little skip, as Jack took a step forward. He wanted to take a step back but his feet were firmly planted to the floor. Half of his brain was telling him to run, but the other half really wanted to see where this ended up going. Jack took another step forward, and another, until he was within arms reach.

“Do I..do I make you nervous, Davey?”he said quietly.

“Yes”Davey whispered, screwing his eyes shut. God he wasn’t ready for a first kiss, not this way, did he even floss this morning-his thoughts were stalled by a laugh. The same laugh that made his knees weak, so much so he found himself leaning against the table.

“I’m sorry”he laughs, “I...I ain’t good at this stuff, my brothers Spot if that’s any excuse”

“Conlon?”Davey squeaks. Jack nodded his head.

“That’s the one”he said, “It’s just...I wanna know you, I wanna know Davey Jacobs”

“Y-yeah?”

“Yeah”He said taking a smaller step forward, “I wanna know what makes you laugh, what makes you tick,how to help when you get all jittery, how to make you smile cause boy I’ve had my eye on you since the day I got here”

Something inside Davey snaps and he pushes at Jacks chest. “No”

“No?”He said, tilting his head.    

“Just no!”Davey exclaims, “You don’t wanna know me, this is all just some joke-”

“Davey-”

“And you’re gonna go running to your friends after rehearsal-”

“Davey please-”

“And I can’t let that happen because-”

“Davey!”he shouted, waving his arms. “I like you! I genuinely like you! I’ve liked you since the second term of Freshman year when you argued with the substitute on how World War one really started!”

Davey felt mortified and his face grew even hotter. “He...he was just really stupid, okay?”

“Yes, yes he was!”He exhaled, “and i liked that you weren’t afraid to tell him that! I like how fired up you get when you debate in English class, you scrunch your nose up and you talk a mile a minute”

“I-I...”

“You don’t gotta speak”He said, “Just let me do this. I like the way you care about the cast, you get snippy sometimes but it’s because you want the best for us. You’re good with the freshman, even though they’re little beasts. I think it’s cute how you caught the volleyball with your face last week-”

“Asshole”Davey muttered.

“Hey!”He huffed, “I got that guy back for you”

Davey’s eyes widened. “You’re the one who sent Oscar to the nurse?”

“Let’s just say I didn’t see him when I spiked the ball”He winked, “but honestly Davey, i’ve had my eye on you for a while. All of my friends have been giving me hell to make a move, and I was trying to but...you gotta let me know, am I wrong about all of this?”

“No”Davey whispered, “No you’re not i’m just...i’m not too good with feelings”

“That makes two of us”He chuckled, “I’ve been plannin’ to say all of that for weeks but you make me nervous too”

“I make you nervous?”Davey says in awe.

“Everytime you look at me I get my lines wrong”he said. “I’ve been off book for weeks, but seeing you look at me like I put the stars in the sky just...God, you’re killin me Davey”

“How?”Davey asked.

“Because you’re doing it right now”he smiled. Davey bit his lip and dropped his gaze but Jack grabbed his hand and squeezed, “I never said I didn’t like it, it does wonders for my ego”

“Shut up”Davey mumbled. 

“Now that I finally hunted you down? Never” He said. “I wanted to say this a few weeks ago but you ran and I...I wanted to give you space but, when all this tech shit is over. You wanna go get ice cream? I know a place, it’s across the bridge but-”

“Yes”Davey says immediately.

“Yes?”he exhales.

“Yes, I wanna,”Davey says.

“I would kiss you right now if you wasn’t shakin like a leaf,”he says, running his thumb over the back of Davey’s hand. And this, this was better than anything he could have imagined. 

“Aye can we pause the Romance!”Race yells from outside the door, “Director called places ten minutes ago and she’s gonna have my ass if I don’t come out with both of you!”

Davey froze. “She’s gonna kill me, she’s going to actually kill me”

“I’ll tell her you were helping me run my lines”He said, “I ain’t gonna let her kill you”

“Well if she isn’t gonna kill Davey, then it’s gonna be me so let’s go!”Race yelled.

“We’re coming, keep your shirt on!”

“Shouldn’t I be sayin that to you and your--oh”Race said, once they finally opened the door. “You two are decent, that’s surprising”

“Everyone ain’t a whore, Racetrack”He sighed, rolling his eyes. 

“Well that wasn’t very nice.”Davey said with a frown.

“Yeah Jack, that wasn’t very nice”Race smirked, “I think I like you Davey, if you get tired of this one you know where to find me”

“Don’t let Spot hear you sayin that”

“Please”Race snorted, “like I care what Spot says”

“That’s not what I heard the other day-”

“Alright!”Race snapped, “Don’t gotta go embarrassing me in front of your boyfriend”

“He’s not-”

“We’re not-”

“Yeah right”Race said, rolling his eyes. “The way Jack’s been goin on about you, you might as well be his husband”

And this time it was Jack’s turn to blush. His face turned scarlet and with a betrayed cry he was chasing Race down the hallway. Once they were out of sight Davey took a minute to collect himself and squealed. Cosette and Sarah would definitely be hearing about this when he got home.

[behindclousedoors]

50 questions you’ve never been asked before 🌻

thanks to @softboylwt for the tag, ily 💗

1. what is the colour of your hairbrush? black and grey!!

2. a food you never eat? i dont like fish and broccoli

3. are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm! i’m hot even with the snow outside

4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago? editing eheh

5. what is your favourite candy bar? snickers

6. have you ever been to a professional sports event? yes, i went to one of the most important italian football matches

7. what is the last thing you said out loud? ‘yeah i’ll do it later’ in italian (sì, dopo lo faccio)

8. what is your favourite ice cream? pistachio all the way

9. what was the last thing you had to drink? darjeeling tea

10. do you like your wallet? yes! it looks vintage, but it’s just my friend’s old one haha

11. what was the last thing you ate? bread with dark chocolate spread

12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope

13. the last sporting event you watched? the same one i mentioned earlier!!

14. what is your favourite flavour of popcorn? salty or caramel, can’t decide

15. who is the last person you sent a text message to? my best friend

16. ever go camping? i only went once and i’d really love to go again 

17. do you take vitamins? nope but i take melatonin pills

18. do you go to church every sunday? i’m an atheist now but i used to when i was younger (from 6 to 14)

19. do you have a tan? no and i hate having a tan but i tan so easily ):

20. do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? umh pizza bc of italian culture hehe

21. do you drink your soda with a straw? nope

22. what colour socks do you usually wear? umh it depends on the outfit???

23. do you ever drive above the speed limit? no i’m a very careful and anxious driver

24. what terrifies you? mostly insects, paranormal things, the devil, and a long list of things 

25. look to your left, what do you see? a road sign a friend of mine stole and gifted to me whoops

26. what chore do you hate? vacuuming, actually about to do it

27. what do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? 5sos lol

28. what’s your favourite soda? am i boring if i say coke?

29. do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru typically

30. who’s the last person you talked to? my father

31. favourite cut of beef? i dont enjoy meat that much so i dont know???

32. last song you listened to? dream a little dream of me by doris day

33. last book you read? harry potter and the goblet of fire (bc of my annual harry potter re-reading)

34. favourite day of the week? saturday

35. can you say the alphabet backwards? no sadly

36. how do you like your coffee? i prefer tea over coffee but macchiato

37. favourite pair of shoes? my dearly beloved but destroyed dr martens 

38. at what time do you normally go to bed? it depends, between 1-5am 

39. at what time do you normally get up? it depends haha between 6-11am sometimes even later 

40. what do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets!

41. how many blankets are on your bed? two

42. describe your kitchen plates? plain white eheh

43. do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? i love alcohol, i mostly drink wine, digestifs and anything with tequila 

44. do you play cards? YES I LOVE TO

45. what colour is your car? black

46. can you change a tire? yes and sadly i had to do it twice in the last month

47. what is your favourite state/province? like in usa? i dont know i’ve only been to orlando, LA and NY so.... i’m more of a european kind of gal so i’ll go with uk

48. favourite job you’ve ever had? tutoring middle schoolers

49. how did you get your biggest scar? by hitting my forehead on the base structure of a sliding door when i was six (like the metal thing on the floor that lets the door slide???) 

50. what did you do today that made someone else happy? talked to my bff about some troubles she has with her bf 

i’m pretty boring i know!!! but i’m going to tag @alittlelouie and @louisbbear, ignore this if you dont want to do it and sorry if i always bother you with these things eheh 💗🌷

[kimmichpropaganda]

i got tagged by @ximenalightwood :D thank you queen

what is the colour of your hair brush? i just had to throw mine out while i moved back home but it was black and pink

name of a food you never eat? im not a fan of hummus

are you typically too warm or too cold? too cold usually

what were you doing 45 minutes ago? taking a break from work lol

what’s your favourite candy bar? i dont typically like chocolate but i love twix

have you ever been to a professional sports event? ive been to two MLS games (one to see basti and one to see poldi) and i saw bayern play last summer, i probably went to some baseball games as a kid...? i dont remember

what is the last thing you said out loud? “theres ants in the cereal!”

what is your favourite ice cream? i prefer sorbet (pretty much any flavor) but i do love rocky road

what is the last thing you had to drink? sprite

do you like your wallet? yeah i have a bayern wallet lmao

what was the last thing you ate? im currently eating spaghetti with butter cause we have no pasta sauce

did you buy any new clothes last week? yeah i bought a shirt

last sporting event you watched? the other night i watched some world cup 2014 games

what’s your favourite flavour of popcorn? i love popcorn so pretty much anything i just hate cheese popcorn

who was the last person you sent a message to? crackhead whatsapp chat

ever go camping? yeah i love camping but i havent been in a long time

do you take vitamins? nope, but i take melatonin

do you go to church every sunday? nope

do you have a tan? probably not??

do you prefer chinese food or pizza? chinese food but its a hard choice

do you drink soda with a straw? not usually

what colour socks do you wear? i usually have a different pattern every day

do you ever drive above the speed limit? i dont drive!

what terrifies you? tbh getting meningitis or like a brain eating ameoba or something weird like that

look to your left what do you see? my moms dresser (i do my work from home in her room)

what chore do you hate? probably picking up dog shit

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent? im always like wow! and i think of mikes mic from youtube

what’s your favourite soda? i love coke but i dont drink it much anymore because of the caffeine so ive been mostly drinking sprite

do you go into fast food places or drive thru? usually drive thru or just postmates

who was the last person you talked to? my mom

favourite cut of beef? anything tbh

last song you listened to? europa 22 by bilderbuch this is one of my favorite songs!

last book you read? for class? the elusive embrace by daniel mendelsohn, for fun? i think the great gatsby?

can you say the alphabet backwards? if you give me like 10 minutes i could probably somehow get it

how do you like your coffee? i dont drink coffee but i had a shot of espresso in december and i drank it with like 10 packets of sugar in it

favourite pair of shoes? my white adidas with red stripes (i wore holes in my old pair but i had an extra pair somehow?? but they’re a size too big)

the time you normally go to bed? i’d like to go to bed around 12 am but my mom works late so usually i go to sleep around 3 am

the time you normally wake up? 9:30 if i have class mondays, 6:30 if i have class tuesdays, 11 if i dont have class

what do you prefer sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

how many blankets are on your bed? two but i sleep on the couch

describe your kitchen plates? just white!

do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? ive been really into making shirley temples with rum recently cause the place where i get good beer is closed, but i also like mai tais and gin and tonics

do you play cards? does uno count? if so sometimes

what colour is your car? i dont have a car

can you change a tire? i know how but its been too long since i took autoshop

your favourite province? i’ll just say favorite state i guess...? probably new york i guess

favourite job you’ve had? probably the job i have now cause i can just be lazy the whole time, im a student caller for my uni

how did you get your biggest scar? i dont have any major scars but when i was little i completely messed up my ear while at football practice

what did you do today that made someone happy? sent memes...?

xime tagged everyone i wanted to tag so i’ll just say if you see this and you want to do it i tag you

[marlahey]

we stumbled in the dark: part fourteen sneak peek

...hi. 

so I know it’s been about 84 years, but the good news is that part 14 of wsitd is still going (slowly but surely) and the last scene of this chapter is still as vivid in my head as it was last year when I first envisioned the fic. it’s coming, I promise. it was my ride or die shawn bff @bluerroses‘ birthday on the 30th and I gifted her an extra scene from wstid, one that isn’t included in the original fic. @mendesftoakley also asked for a jetlag!shawn thing the other week which I’d wanted to write and then got totally distracted – all that’s to say, here’s a deleted scene that ended up being so massive it’ll probably stay, set in the middle of the night post-part 13.  to everyone who reached out to me after my minor rage freak out re: shawn and the state of his fandom and wsitd, much love. every time I think my love for this boy’s faded to something reasonable, he comes out with tour videos that make my chest ache cause he moves me so damn much. happy belated, to both grace and my darling one. I love you.   new york; now It’s 2:24 am.  You’re wide awake.  Shawn, of course, is fast asleep. His fingers are still curled into the edges of your t-shirt and the part of you that isn’t annoyed at his peaceful slumber aches a little at the innocence of the gesture. Just a boy. You toy with the idea of just laying here a while longer, but now that you’ve thought about it a trip to the bathroom is in order and it’s not as if you’re going to fall back asleep anytime soon.  Stupid jetlag. 

So you get up. You reach for Shawn’s Harvard hoodie tossed to the end of the bed (because it’s closer than yours, obviously, not because it smells like him) and pad as softly as you can to the door. From the bathroom you head down the stairs, following a wash of light into the kitchen.  Taylor whirls around from the open freezer, holding a pint of ice cream and looking guilty. “Oh god, I woke you up, didn’t I? I’m so sorry.” 

“No,” you reply quickly. “I was already up, you’re fine.” Her shoulders relax and Taylor grins a little sheepishly, as though this isn’t her house and she’d be caught doing something illicit.

“Can’t sleep?”

You shake your head. “I don’t get how he’s just...out like a light. So annoying.”The unspoken intimacy is already out before you can even think to take it back, but she just laughs lightly. “His body’s used to it.” Taylor reaches into a drawer for a spoon. “Want some? Mint chocolate chip.”

It’s probably a bad idea, but you shrug and accept the utensil as Taylor gathers another spoon, two shallow bowls and an ice cream scoop. “How was your party?”

Taylor scoops you just enough for a couple bites and you smile gratefully. “It was fine. I mean, good. But I haven’t been out in a while and it’s kinda draining being really social for a long time, you know?” You think of all the times Shawn’s opted to sit in companionable silence with you instead of a last round or a second after party. “Yeah, sure.” “I’ll make you a warm turmeric milk,” Taylor offers. Even the way she twists her wrist to pick up ice cream seems graceful. “Worse case, I have melatonin somewhere.” “You’re not tired?” “Not yet. Takes me a while to wind down. How was your night? You guys have fun?” It’s an innocent question, but a flush crawls up your neck all the same. You shove a spoonful of ice cream in your mouth and “Mhmm!” Taylor’s smille crinkles around her eyes; she doesn’t press you. “Tell me about tour,” she says instead. “What’s been your favourite place? Your favourite show?” It takes a moment of consideration. You tell her about Paris and its glittering lights and birthday sparklers and candles. You tell her about Manchester and Youth. You tell her about Morgan on the barricade in London. You hardly mention Shawn by name and yet he’s there, lingering at the edges of all your sentences and inside your pauses.  Taylor makes you a warm golden milk with turmeric and you drink while you talk. When you yawn, surprising somehow like you’d forgotten how, she presses melatonin into your hand. “Get some sleep,” she says. “I’ll see you in the morning.”  So up you go. Equally surprising is the strip of light at the bottom of Taylor’s guest bedroom door. Shawn’s slouched against the headboard, the blue light of his phone illuminating his face while the bedside lamp casts a long, warm veil over the rest of the room.  “Hey,” you say softly, closing the door behind you. “Did I wake you?”  He shakes his head. “Woke up and you were gone.” Something about the edge of sleep still in his voice makes it sound oddly vulnerable. “You okay? Is Taylor back? I thought I could hear you talking.”  “Yeah, I am. And she is. I couldn’t sleep and she was getting ice cream.” He’s staring a little as you put down the mug of warm milk on the bedside table. “What?” Shawn blinks. “Nothing.” His eyes linger on the place where his hoodie meets your shorts and you flush.  “Sorry,” you blurt, suddenly self-conscious. “It was just closer, I–” “El.” He drags your gaze back up. “I don’t mind. It looks good on you.” Shawn’s smile is tilted in that familiar, teasing way; you roll your eyes, but you let him reach across the bed and pull you closer to him until you sit up facing each other. You let him help you tug the sweater over your head and you let his eyes catch on your stomach, your ribs, the shadowed curve of your breast before your t-shirt falls back down. You turn out the light. Shawn presses his face into the slope of your neck and breathes deeply. “Loonie for your thoughts,”  you murmur, carding your fingers through his hair, kneading gently over his neck with your fingertips until he groans. Shawn’s so quiet at first that you think he may have fallen back asleep sitting up. “Can I ask you something?” In the moonlight he’s more pale than ever. You hum in reply. The hand pressing tiny circles against the small of your back goes still. “About Hannah?” You don’t mean to flinch; Shawn’s grip tightens, just a little. You swallow and speak before he can take it back. “What about her?” Shawn straightens to look you in the eye, equal parts calm and unsure. “You get this look on your face when you talk to her, or about her. Even way back in Ottawa.” The realization that Shawn’s apparently been looking at you since the night you met is disarming, to put it mildly. It’s suddenly hard to focus on the conversation. “I know you guys haven’t–” he pauses– “talked in a while, but...” Shawn reaches forward with his free hand and thumbs gently at an unconscious furrow between your eyebrows. “I still see that look.”  Something like shame burns in your throat. You look down at the bedspread. Shawn waits patiently as you pick up his swallow hand, tracing the lines of its wings.  “I don’t have that big of an ego to think this is all about me,” he continues wryly. “And if you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to. I just...” You’re expecting him to tilt your chin up, to force you to look at him, but Shawn ducks his head a little and doesn’t look hurt when you can barely meet his gaze. “I was just wondering where you go when you look so far away.” You’re genuinely stunned into silence. A response, as much as you want to give him one, refuses to surface. And Shawn seems to be able to see the blank panic in your expression, because he just leans forward to press a kiss to your forehead. “Never mind,” he says gently. “Just forget I asked.” You can feel him about to lean back, to give you space, to seek silent permission before he tugs you back beneath the covers so you can actually try to sleep. No disappoint, no malice, no distrust. You think, I am truly and deeply in love with you. You say, “She gave me a marker.” Shawn doesn’t say anything. He folds his hand around yours. “When my parents died the therapist said that routines were good, so I went back to school but everyone was like, weird, you know? And then one day we were supposed to make Mother’s Day gifts but I didn’t know what to do. My teacher said I could make something for my sister, but I’d left my colours at home.” You haven’t thought about that day in a long time. Shawn’s left hand touches your wrist; you follow the lines of his right palm. Comfort; comforted. “Hannah gave me her marker. And then everyone just stopped looking at me and we all coloured flowers. The next day I helped her learn long division and we’ve been best friends ever since.” You try to smile but you’re fairly certain the curve isn’t quite right. Shawn brushes your hair back as it falls forward. The gesture is so familiar now that it feels strange to remember he hasn’t always been doing it, that his touch hasn’t always been a tender, thrilling reminder: you’re here. this is real. you’re alive. His own smile is a little better formed, encouraging instead of patronizing. “Sometimes she’s awful,” you continue. “She can get petty and jealous.” You don’t mean to say what comes out next. “The week before Ava brought me to Ottawa we’d gone to a party and she made out with my one and only real ex boyfriend.” Shawn’s eyes widen, but still he stays quiet. It’s the only way you’re able to keep talking. “She was drunk, and she says she doesn’t even remember. He says she tried to take his clothes off, but he’s also a piece of shit, so…” You let out a tiny, bitter laugh. “And I forgave her, because what else was I supposed to do? And then Ava sent those tickets and you–“ Shawn’s fingers freeze, just for a breath, behind your ear. You try to smile again and it’s like lifting a weight you can only just barely get off the floor. “You were so wonderful and part of me was still so mad at her.” That earlier shame presses a knot in your throat. “And I knew I had to keep the secret but part of me was awful, too. I wanted to. It was something that was just mine, that I never had to share or have her judge or want for herself.” “I don’t think that’s awful,” he says softly. You shrug. Tears slide past your nose. He thumbs them away but doesn’t otherwise move. “I know she didn’t leak the news about us.” Now that you’ve gotten this far you’re determined to finish. “But I don’t know if I can forgive her for the way she made me feel about it. Or if I can forgive myself for letting her make me feel that way.” Shawn’s edges are a little blurry when you finally lift your chin. “I still love her, isn’t that fucked up? What kind of person does that make me?” He doesn’t speak for a long time. You have no idea how one drags themselves out of the emotional hole you’ve dug. Before you can let Shawn off the hook, or apologize for dumping seven years of emotional baggage onto him, he pulls you forward and folds you into his arms. “Do you want me to say something,” he asks, pressing his chin against the top of your head. “Or do you just want this?” The weight of this confession is so heavy that no longer having to carry it alone pulls you off balance. You slip your hand underneath his collar to pull Saint Christopher out. When you can speak without a sob swallowing your words, you let go of the chain. “You can say something.” Shawn kisses the crown of your hair. “You can feel however you want, whenever you want. You shouldn’t have to hide it. And you don’t have to, not from me. Okay?” You can’t reply. You just sniff into the collar of his t-shirt. His hand smooths up and down your spine. “I don’t think that forgiveness is a bad thing, El. Especially for yourself.” You’re shuddering with the effort of breathing normally instead of hiccuping. Shawn just gathers you closer. He doesn’t shush you, but just murmurs softly in your ear, “It’s okay. I’m here. I got you.” You’re still clinging to him when you fall asleep. 

[hazbin-hotel-aesthetics-quotes]

Hey Mama? i havent been able to sleep in over a year now (insomnia)... i tried talking to my parents about it but they wont listen to me and im just so exhausted. what should i do?

I understand you, Firefly, even Mama has problems with sleep and I know how frustrating it can be.

I am very sorry that your parents just don't listen to you, sometimes adults diminish the problems of the youngest. Just because in their eyes you are a child. It sucks.

Mama will give you some small advice, or rule if you want.

No cell phone, computer or TV before going to bed. At least 15/20 minutes before going to sleep, turn off all electronic devices. Read something, or find something boring to do (sometimes I used to knit, I was really bad but it helped me). Try to relax and not stimulate your beautiful brain.

Cozy atmosphere. If you can dim the lights in the room at least half an hour before going to bed. It does not have to be dark, but with bright lights your brain will stay awake and active.

Clean and Cozy attire. Sleep with something that you wear exclusively for sleep. A nice pajamas, a warm sweatshirt or even just a shirt.

No sugar or caffeine after 6 pm. I know, ice cream is great, but Mama does it for you. And if you can drop the dosage of caffeine even during the rest of the day. Mama knows this from experience. If you're already anxious, coffee makes things worse.

Program a routine. Wake up at about the same time every day, try to do some physical activities (like walking) and try to go to bed at the same time. Even if you do not fall asleep don't get up to go to the computer or watch TV. Your body will get used to the routine and you will be more easily sleepy.

Avoids stress. I know it is pretty much impossible, but if it is the anxiety to not make you sleep then all the chamomiles of the world may not serve.

Other things. If you can, take some melatonin (I take it and I'm pretty sure you can find it on Amazon or in any pharmacy), or drink relaxing herbal teas that combine sleep, such as valerian or chamomile herbal teas.

And if you still can not sleep, my firefly, you really have to try talk to your parents so they can take you to a doctor.

I know it's scary to assert your voice, but you can not give up your health for them. Sleep deprivation damages any aspect of your life, from relationships with other people, results to school and work, to health.

I hope you feel better soon. Mama Kat loves you, my little firefly demon.~

[shrimpcolour]

answer them all coward

take two after closing the tab when i was almost done w every question im gonna fucking lose my shit

angel; do you have a nickname?

people call me nicknames but i hate any variation of taylor

awe; how old are you?

16

baby; favorite color?

lilac

bloop; spirit animal?

kitten

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

Fahrenheit 451 im1 shes so man matchbox 20 

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

my lamby who i still sleep w everynight bc i am baby

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

getting told i can keep my cats

bright; mermaids or fairies?

fairies all the way

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

not so sure i do

buttercup; showers or baths?

shower

butterfly; dream destination?

anywhere outside of the us

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

no but i wish i was

calm; favorite scent?

vanilla

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

some fuckshit on the beach

charming; have you ever been in love?

yes

cozy; eye/hair color?

blue/brown

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

time is fake

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

hibiscus 

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

money  like a lot

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

my kitten lucifer but saying i own him sounds weird

cutsie; what makes you happy?

jillie

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

i cant remember

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

i want to be remembered as nice? kind? please . 

daylight; favorite album of all time?

kindly now by keaten henson

dear; zodiac sign?

scorpio

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts but i love museums

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes but i didnt send it

dobby; dream job?

something that has to do w art

doll; how do you like to dress?

i like to dress in a cute button up and jeans but that doesnt happen

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

no but i wish so bad 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

yes i want many tattoos and on my 18th im going w my dad to get one

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

fuck yeah

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

i love my sister so much she is my literal will to live she is so fukcing funny and happy and just UGHHH shoutout to kaylleee

fairy; do you have a pet?

yes i have two cats, boots and lucifer, and a dog named finn

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

ocean is where its at 

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the park near me at night

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

sadly not

garden; how many languages do you know?

one bc im weak

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

not tagging them but like . cmon . yk

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

that warm cozy library aesthetic ? i love that

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i love them bc it gives me the opportunity to talk to ppl who are too scared to talk to me (please dont be scared of me)

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

my eyes my hair my sense of humor my friends my socks

heart; silk or lace?

silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

coffee w almond milk

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

people watching bc i like to give everyone a story in my head

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

melatonin LMAO

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

rainy and cold

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

sleep my life away

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

loud laugh baeby

kinky; do you blush easily?

i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

that friends to lovers mutual pining takes a little bit to realize what they want is right in front of them i love that

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

1am-8am

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

keaten henson

love; what is your favorite season and why?

fall bc the weather and the holidays and my job ITS ALL TOO GOOD

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

i have never had a macaron but i love oreo iceceram

magic; what are five flaws you have?

i overthink AND underthink at the same time like what a dumbass bitch, i doubt myself, i am not so bright, i am too loud around ppl im comfortable with and i am selfish sometimes

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

i like all of them it depends on my mood

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

i dont really look? 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

minecraft and sweatpants 

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on minecraft or on here or just like . sitting

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

dont judge a book by its cover is so fucking cliche but like .  you gotta learn it

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook baeby

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

lazy oops

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

i played the flute when i was like 10

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

scream

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

strawberry/sweet pepper

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

my sister being born

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

the loss of all my friends bc im fucking stupid. thats the one. 

shine; art or music?

both 

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

they do

smitten; do you collect anything?

i collect disney pins

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

one? two?

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

kitkats

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

i do but i dont know what kind and idk where it is

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

i wear earrings  and a necklace sometimes

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

with head phones but too loud so you can probably hear it without

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

hannah montana baeby

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.  

my bed. it has so many blankets and its quiet bc of the AC and it has my favorite things

soothe; digital or vinyl?

digital

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

my best friend francesca like a lot 

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty 

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

practical? 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

no i dont think ive ever completely opened up if im being honest

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

i do! i want two kids!

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

this is gonna sound so fucking dumb but i really look up to jenna mourey/jenna marbles

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

idk man im quite basic

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

im very loyal but i tend to hold a grudge so like . thats an issue

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

tina made me laugh shoutout to tina

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owl 

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

invisibility baeby

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

no but i like doing it

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy oops

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

i like my town but i dont think i wanna lvie here

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

yes i have

[lostinserendipity]

Get to know me tag!

I was tagged by @bluemoonamjoon and @penicillinjimin to this thank y’all so much for tagging me!

Name: Taylor

Nicknames: Tay, TayTay, pumpkin, tator, tator tot, tator bug and many more!

Gender: Female (she/her)

Zodiac: cancer ♋️ (June 22nd)

Height: 5’3 maybe?

Time: 7:02 pm

Favorite Musicians: BTS, Stray Kids, Twice, Luke Combs, Shania Twain, One Direction, 5SOS, Green Day, All Time Low

Song Stuck In My Head: I’m fine by BTS

Last Thing I Googled: fye.com lol

Last Movie I Saw: oh geez I think it was To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

Last Song I Listened To: Fake Love by BTS

Other Blogs: Yeah I have my main blog that I’ve had for like 7 years but I don’t use it much anymore

Do I Get Asks? Sometimes but y’all should talk to me more!

Why Did I Choose My Username: Hufflepuff is my hogwarts house and Hoseok is my bias atm so yeah lol

Following: 178

Amount of Sleep I Get: Honestly it depends on what time I have to wake up for work so anywhere between 6-8 hours I suppose

Lucky Numbers: I don’t really know tbh

What I’m Wearing: fuzzy gray pj pants that have penguins on them and my grey bt21 hoodie

Dream Job: anything that has to do with traveling

Dream Trips: England, Ireland, South Korea, and Australia

Favorite Foods: Pasta, Chicken, Pizza, and anything with cheese

Instruments: does the recorder count? Lol

Favorite Songs: (They change by the day/hour lol so here’s what they are now)

1. Running on empty by Isaac Gracie

2. Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

3. Magic shop by BTS

4. Get cool by stray kids

5. Yes or yes by Twice

Relationship Status: Single Pringle

Favorite colors? Purple and black

Three Books: I haven’t read anything since July! But here are my 3 favorites.

1. The Harry Potter series

2. Carry One by rainbow Rowell

3. The summer I turned pretty series by Jeremy Han

Three T.V. Shows: I don’t really watch tv anymore but my favorites are greys anatomy, stranger things, criminal minds, and queer eye

Book I’m Reading Now: nothing at the moment

How Many Blankets Do You Sleep In: 1 during the summer, 3 during the winter

Anything I Want: I just want to travel and meet all of my online friends tbh!

I tag: @emerson-moonchild @okayycalum @hwanginthere @promisenight @galactichxpe and whoever else that wants to do this!

[pbandjesse]

I just had a nose bleed and now I feel a little down. But today was a very good day. It was very cold but I slept great last night. I took melatonin for the first time since I poisoned myself with it at Christmas. And it helped me fall asleep, I really hope I can keep that up.

I woke up this morning in a good mood. I wore my Valentine outfit. I was happy.

James made crepes for me to take with me to work. And that would be great for lunch.

I was a little frustrated when I couldn't find my book or my extra battery and was a little frustrated. But it was fine. My headphones were charged enough. And I headed out to go to the nursery.

I thought I was going to be with a different age group but I was with the same kids. And for real it was a fun day. There were so many Valentine's day treats. I got a cupcake and a donut. The kids were all so cute. I read four different books to them. We drew together. It was just a really chill and fun day.

We would go out to the yard to play. We bundled up but I was very cold still. I didn't wear my boots or tights under my overalls and that was a mistake. I tried to walk around to stay warm but it only sort of worked. I was very happy when we went inside for lunch.

I helped with the lunch transition. Mostly just wiping down the sinks and bathroom in-between kids. Which was fine, I don't get grossed out easy. But man! I didn't realize how much smells and people not flushing can bother me. But they are little kids and are learning. It's all good. They were doing their best.

I had my break after that. Hung out in the kitchen and watched a video. Had some of the snacks that people brought in to celebrate.

The break is so strange for me because after my break there is still an hour and a half to two hours of nap time. I wish I could nap. But instead I would work on my puhtok lesson plans and scrolled on my phone. There isn't a great spot to sit in the room and the kids chairs hurt my back after a while. But I stayed there and laid against a pillow and tried to make it work.

The end of the day was mostly chilling and playing with magical and mythical creatures. Reading. Drawing. It really is a fun time.

But I was tired. And it is Valentine's day. And I was ready to go home.

I had a nice walk. And got back here to the apartment smelling amazing. James made soup and fresh bread and they out candles on the table and it was so nice.

James would finish getting dinner together. I would unpack my bag and do my knitting. And we would have a lovely dinner but man did we eat to much. They used their bread to make us grilled cheeses and made french fries from scratch and then we had macaroons and then we had a skillet brownie with ice cream. It was beautiful but it was a lot.

After we ate we put together the Lego flowers. I love my James so much.

We both went to do out own things after that. I did my knitting. They played video games. And once I was done my knitting I got a shower and out my new lotion on. And I was very pease how good my skin looks right now. I am trying very hard to be careful and not scratch. I think the new lotion is helping. Let's hope it keeps getting better.

Now it is time to sleep. I want to fall asleep easier like last night. Tomorrow is a full day at the museum. I hope it's a fun time. Even if we are a bit short staffed.

Sleep good everyone. Take care of yourselves. Wash your hands

[nickgerlich]

Taking A Snooze

Many years ago, in the Summer of 1993, I embarked on a crazy bicycle odyssey with the first wife. We rode a tandem bicycle in the Race Across America, a 2900-mile nonstop race from Los Angeles to Savannah Georgia. With a crew of seven, all we had to do was pedal.

And stay awake, because the clock was ticking, you know.

So we did, finishing the race in 11 days, nine hours, 20 minutes. Along the way, we slept a whopping 20 hours, scattered here and there on the side of the road, on picnic tables, in whatever motel the crew could find at ungodly hours. It took me a solid two weeks afterward to get a decent night’s sleep, because I kept waking up thinking I had to get back on the damn bike.

During our preparations and training, we studied human sleep so we could have a better idea of how it works. Humans typically sleep in 90-minute cycles, from light to deep and back to light sleep. This means that if someone is watching your eyelids twitch, they can know exactly when to wake you up, because you won’t be in a deep fog. If they can keep you from going into REM sleep, you can wake up ready to fight again.

And so we focused on those 90-minute sleeps, with an occasional 180-minute if we or the crew felt we really needed it. We trained on a diet of short sleeps just to simulate race conditions, and to know what it feels like to go down for a quick snooze in the middle of the night, only to wake up 90 minutes later and go for a pre-dawn ride.

It’s all craziness to me now, and although I have no regrets, I will never do that again. Ever since then, I have developed the ability to fall asleep quickly, but I still wake up multiple times during the night, and more times than not on a multiple of 90. I am not much different from other people my age in that regard, but probably more pronounced because of my insane racing days. I often take a melatonin pill at bedtime to help me stay asleep.

In the US, the sleep aid industry is a $1 billion dollar business, and that is just the OTC products. Sleep, it turns out, is not over-rated, and is indeed fleeting for many, not just people who put their bodies through hell.

Which may help explain why Pepsi Cola is introducing a new sleep aid beverage later this year. Driftwell will come in handy 7.5-ounce cans and contain a mix of herbs and amino acids to “promote relaxation and to help ease stress,” the company says.

It’s an interesting mash-up of two product categories for Pepsi, which finds itself, along with Coca Cola, somewhat adrift in a sea of colas and other soft drinks that have been going flat in recent years as consumers shift interests to healthier beverages. Waters alone constitute a $215 billion market, but despite perhaps one of the better brand names introduced lately, I have my doubts it will be able to get out of bed, much less hop on a bike and ride across the country.

For starters, I already know what consumers are going to be getting up to do in the middle of the night. Anyone who drinks fluids before bedtime is just asking for a wake-up call.

And where are supermarkets going to place this item? In the pharmacy area alongside other sleep aid products? Or in the beverage aisle with all the other bottled waters? I’m thinking of frozen pet treats right now, because it is a major disconnect to think of dog food being stocked in the bunkers alongside your box of Bubba Burgers, or in the freezer section next to your half-gallon tub of ice cream. The case for Driftwell may not be as extreme, but there could be a lot of grocer and consumer confusion on this aspect alone.

Since it is a liquid, it does not travel well, especially on an airplane. A little pill bottle of melatonin works much better in these cases. I wouldn’t want to have to tote a 12-pack or more of this with me on road trips either. It may also not survive well at home, especially in the fridge where kids may grab the sleek mini-can thinking it is one of their child-sized beverages. In other words, you would need to keep this tucked away in master bath area.

Technically, Driftwell falls into an emerging category called “functional drinks,” which is code for new-agey and scientifically unproven. Marketers don’t always let that detail deter them, though, especially not if there’s money to be made, and Pepsi is no different.

In spite of Pepsi’s best efforts on Driftwell, I’m calling this one a yawner. I won’t be needing any of this fancy water to try to get to sleep.  If anything, Pepsi has launched its entrant in the Stupid Marketing Tricks race to death. And in this race, the sleeping went on long before the pistol goes off.

Dr “Snooze Ya Lose“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[stavingoffapathy]

daily log 1

i’m going to try to make daily journal-style posts here. i don’t know if it’s an entirely feasible option considering that this blog is on an entirely different account from my main one, but it’s worth a shot, i figure. a morning pages type thing, except we will make it daily pages because i am always useless in the morning

things i did today:

woke up late, but not terribly so. i found my melatonin last night, when helped me get to sleep at a halfway reasonable hour (meaning around 2 instead of around 5 like last night). it’s break, i can sleep in. 

got up around 10:30, showered, ate some breakfast followed by some lunch (a mug of cereal, then my leftover mashed potatoes from last night, with a little bit of ice cream for dessert)

a lot of today has been just kinda dicking around on the internet, which is just fine with me. but it’s been pleasant and surprisingly productive dicking around on the internet. 

i got some work done on the commission for mary, which is a rogue one poster featuring jyn in a cool and exciting action pose and cassian clinging sexily to her leg. jyn is all colored now and i’ve started working on cassian’s jacket. i feel bad about how long it’s taking, since she asked me for it almost a year ago, but my goal is to finish it over break so i can give it to her when we get back on campus. 

i looked up some astrology type stuff and filled in moon phases in my trusty planner, since it didn’t have them in there. i’m kinda on the fence re: witchcraft (and i’m using that term VERY loosely here), but i figure it’s a good idea to at least learn about it. 

i dearly dearly dearly hope that when my sister implied she got me an expensive present she got me the boots i asked her for. i’m not like....EXPECTING boots? but god damn it would make my life so much easier. i will make a point to not expect them so i won’t be disappointed if i don’t get them, and if i DON’T get them i’ll just have to start saving up for them. i don’t make a lot of money, but i also don’t have a ton of expenses beyond my phone bill, whatever food i need for meals other than the one covered by my meal plan, and i guess i need to start making payments on the loan i took out for mayterm. i guess i have a reasonable amount of expenses. still! if i don’t get boots for christmas i’ll make it a point to save up ~100 dollars so i can get a good pair that will last me a really long time. doc martens or some shit. i’ll research if i need to

tomorrow i think i should go into town. probably i should go south, because i want to hit job lot (for seaweed snacks) and dollar tree (for a composition notebook). i feel bad cause i HAVE composition notebooks, plus an in progress journal, but i left all of those things at school. the only one i brought home is my lyric journal, which is the one that i use for writing out song lyrics to whatever is stuck in my head if i don’t want to pay attention during class or whatever. i have this log here but i kind of want to try doing morning pages in an actual notebook? in any case a cute composition notebook isn’t an unreasonable use of funds, even if i don’t use it now for this, i can use it later for something else. i have plenty of cash after birthday and commission money, but i need to be careful and sparing. just, like, in general. 

i should maybe look into getting something high quality that pen won’t bleed through, but that’s probably a futile hope. part of the reason i want to do physical morning pages is to work on my penmanship, but lbr, my penmanship is a big loopy slanted mess, and i like it that way. plus my hands and wrists are garbage and Inclined to Suffering, and i don’t know if pushing myself to do morning pages longhand is honestly a good idea. sometimes i’m just like. not up for writing. i gotta preserve my hands for drawing. typing is easier, it doesn’t ever stress them out like writing does. 

all right, that’s all folks! i think that’s enough for right now. stay tuned for more rambling about my life tomorrow maybe

[canaryatlaw]

okay. so today was good. I’m oddly tired right now, but whatever. I woke up to my alarm at 11, got ready, and left by 11:30 to go to my dad’s office by 12, because he was having his office christmas party today and wanted me to be there. not long after I got there we headed out to this old historical restaurant out here that’s pretty fancy and such. it was mostly the young people that work with him, which was nice. The girl I had been talking to last week when I was at his office talked with me for most of the time, we really hit it off, I think we get along very well. I got the pot roast grilled cheese for lunch, which was of course every bit as amazing as it sounds, and then of course got ice cream for dessert. when we finished we went outside and walked around the little “Christmas Village” of shops they have outside and took some silly pictures in the little stick your face in here photo displays. it was a little cold so we didn’t spend too much time there. Afterwards we went back to the office and I was gonna hang out there for a little while until I had to go to my doctors appointment which is closer to my dad’s office than home, so it didn’t make sense for me to go home and then back out. I ended up talking to the same girl for most of it, some stuff about jobs and then just about other cases and bizarre situations that we’d come across. apparently for the GAL’s office out here (so the equivalent of the Chicago office I interned in) will only hire like, people who have interned there, and they have like 5 spots open, which they’re already in 2nd or 3rd round interviews for, and they’ll probably be filled by January. so that’s....less than ideal, though at this point that particular job isn’t all that high on my preferred job list, but I’m still concerned about not being able to find one. my school is registered for a conference in February that’s like midwest public interest law and will be conducting some on site interviews with different organizations that you have to sign up for in advance, so that has some potential. I just know I’m gonna end up feeling so bad if I end up anywhere other than New York, because I know it’ll be a disappointment to my parents, who are apparently telling everyone I am coming back, and I really don’t want to do that to them...but New York jobs are somewhat limited. sigh. this isn’t easy. anyway. I left for my appointment with my psychiatrist and had to wait a while which is fairly usual, but I always like seeing him because he’s a really nice guy and he’s super understanding. he’s retiring soon so he’s been slowly handing off patients, and he’s already handed off my brother and my mom who were seeing him, but he agreed to see me through May at least, which I appreciated because I’m somewhat hesitant to trust anyone else with my mental health at this point, especially after this summer’s episode which was a intense reminder of just how fragile my brain chemistry is. But we talked, I said I was doing pretty well, which I am, so we could leave the meds in place, which he was happy about of course, now that I’m somewhat leveled off after the summer mess. my brother and his behavior towards me for most of my life came up at some point a few appointments ago and he’s been asking a bit about that every time, which I don't mind of course, it’s just kind of weird for me to be talking about it to another actual person like that (as opposed to just writing it on the internet for random strangers to see). and it’s an odd dynamic because he knows my brother, he used to treat my brother, but he’s been very calm about it and definitely believes what I say, so I appreciate that. He asks things like what do you think he would do if you brought it up with him now, and sadly I know the answer to that is he would laugh it off and refuse to take it seriously, because he doesn't think he’s done anything wrong, and I don't think there’s anything I can do to convince him otherwise (ugh, he’s such a narcissist). but anyway. good appointment. I stopped at Target quickly, planning just to get some red food coloring so I could finish icing my gingerbread cookies, but got bombarded by text messages from my family about bringing home more of their favorite seltzer brand, “Spindrift” which mixes in some fruit juice but no unnatural sugar and it’s pretty damn good. keep in mind I bought 16 cans of it less than a week ago, but they’ve apparently already been drank (the joys of living in a big family) so I brought them back 24 this time, and we’ll see how long that lasts lol. I also brought home some strawberry lemonade mix just so I could change it up on drink options. I was gonna get ice tea mix too, but I couldn’t find it other than like, crystal light, and I don’t do fake sugar so that wasn’t an option. Came home, had some leftover chinese food, then got to work icing the rest of my gingerbread cookies. It went pretty smoothly, the icing consistency between the two (the outline icing and the fill in icing) was pretty good so that worked. I need to get to work on more cookies on my list though if I’m gonna have them done by Christmas. I’ll definitely do some work on that tomorrow, although I’ll probably go with my sister to Ulta and potentially the mall at some point tomorrow. After I finished that, instead of sitting with my laptop with my parents watching HGTV, I decided to go in the back room where my younger brother (not the one discussed above) was watching a hockey game, and I figured sure why not we can change it up a little bit. I was mostly on my laptop, but I did still find the game to be fairly interesting, it obviously shares some qualities with soccer which I love of course so I could appreciate those aspects of it. I also think it’s kind of insane that people were like “hey, you know what we should do with this sport? we should put it on ice” (according to my brother it was the Canadians idea). but yeah, watched the game, where the NY Rangers lost in a shoot out, so that’s always disappointing. I stuck around for a little while longer while both of my brothers played video games, then headed upstairs to get ready for bed and here we are. Tomorrow like I said will probably be chill, do some baking and probably dye my sister’s hair, maybe do my own since it’s fairly overdue, and I have to actually wrap my presents at some point. so we’ll see how that goes. Like I said at the beginning of this post though, I’m tired and I can feel the melatonin making my eyelids heavy, so I’m gonna stop fighting it now and go to bed. Goodnight dolls. Have a lovely evening.