#i am so filled with anger over how i've let myself be treated my whole life <3

[doqqy]

everyone that has abandoned or wronged me has to die fr

[harrystylesfan2686]

Revenge

Pairing: Eris x Reader

Summary: When your ex destroys your most precious thing what do you do? Cry? Of course but not before taking revenge.

A/N: First Eris fic!!🥳 Reader is Rhysand's sister. I think I went a little overboard... oh well🤷‍♀️

Masterlist

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What The Fuck?

I gasp the second I walk into my library, noticing the gaps in the shelves. My library shelves never have space. The whole room is filled with my most precious obsession.

My books.

Where the hell are my books?

When I walk deeper into the room, I notice a big box in the middle. The rectangular box is gift wrapped with a red shiny wrap, held together by a orange bow on top.

On closer observation, I see an envelope tucked under the ribbon. I take it out and open it, seeing only two sentences scribbled in perfectly fine handwriting, a handwriting I know by heart. Eris.

Seems like we are at war now, sweetheart. How do you like my gift?

My eyebrows furrow. I put down the note and envelope, and open the bow, tearing the gift wrap, I lift the lid.

I freeze upon seeing ash.

The box is filled with ash. Grey mixing with black, creating a rather beautiful image. Except it isn't admirable. When I touch the ash mixed with small pieces of paper that hasn't fully burned. My books.

He burned my books.

I intake a sharp breath, my vision blurs as tears fill my eyes but I don't let them fall. Some people might say I'm overreacting, but I'm not. My books are everything to me. I love them. I treat them better then I treat myself.

And He burned My Books.

That piece of shit.

He knew how much I love them. I've talked to him thousands of time about my books, expressing my feelings about them. I don't even let anyone so much as, touch my books. But I let him. I trusted him.

I loved him. We broke up because his father attacked us. Barron ordered a few Autum Court soldiers to parad down at the Court of Nightmares and kill innocent people, not that the people living there are innocent in anyway, but by attacking a part of Night Court, he declared War.

I gave him a choice, choose between me and his father. I was stupid enough to hope he would choose me. Of course it would be his father. Even though he hates his father to guts, he would still need him to make him high lord. And being The High Lord of Autum Court meant more to him than anything else, including me.

So now we are at War. Two courts fighting against each other. What could go wrong, eh? Apparently everything.

None of the other courts want to help any of us. They don't want unnecessary violence, which is alright, considering Night Court is much stronger than Autum Court. Barron is a fool to think he can win. And now, Eris is too, as it seems.

I blink my eyes clear of tears and stand up. I count the empty shelves where there once were books, trying to see how many I lost. Sixty–Five. He destroyed sixty–five of my most loved books.

Rage burns in my veins. Hurt overcome by anger. The need to burn him in exchange fills my entire body. But I calm myself before I do something idiotic. I take deep breaths trying to plan what I'm going to do in return. I get out of the room, taking careful steps as I go.

You want to play? Fine. Let's play.

-☆-

I twist my hand, snapping the necks of the two guards standing in front of the entrance. I slam open the doors without touching them, barreling down the halls of Autum Court Palace.

This is too easy.

Killing every guard that comes in my way, I go to the main hall. I almost feel bad for the people loosing their life over something their stupid prince did, but my mind is seeing and feeling nothing but red.

When I first described my plan to Rhysand, he was hesitant to let me leave, but realizing that we would be at advantage in this fight by the end of it, he gave me permission.

Now here I am. Walking through enemy land, like a I own it. Removing every obstacle that comes between me and my destination.

I push the doors to the throne room open, and scoff at the few high fea trying to keep me out by their so called magic. I raise an eyebrow and stand their for a few minutes, giving them a chance to stop me. I smirk at their pathetic attempts of imprison me.

I am most powerful here, and they know it.

I raise my hands and twist my wrists, snapping a dozen necks in one motion. I walk father into the room rolling my eyes at the laying bodies. Such a mess.

I take a look around the room. The red carpet running in a straight line from the door to the throne. The levels containing seats for every nobal in Barron's circle. And finally the throne Eris so badly wants to sit at.

Coloured with different shades of red, orange and yellow mixing together. Backrest shaped like fire, built so tall I have to crane my neck to see the top. It's beautiful, I'm not going to lie. Almost makes me feel bad for what I'm about to do.

I turn back around, walking out the same way I walked in. Passing the fallen bodies, I snap my fingers once. Heat explods behind me as I walk out of the door. When I turn to look at the damage I'm doing, I smile.

Fire is lined up from the throne, quickly catching and burning everything in it's way. I smile brighter when I slam the doors shut and drop a small note on the ground near them. He burned my books so I'm burning to only thing he holds most dear in this entire world.

It seems we are. Hope you like my gift.

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[nopointic]

it hurts my heart reading all the spoilers from the new BTS book not because they're spoilers, but because of how much sadness the guys went through. i met them in 2020. they could have ended in 2018 or 2019.

if it wasn't for BTS i would be in such a bad place right now.

because of them, specially Namjoon saying "your anger is valid", i left a job i thought i wanted my whole life. i went to this short school to be a medical assistant to work my way up the medical field because i've always wanted to be a doctor as a kid. well i got the cma job and it was awful. my first job at a hospital was bad, so i thought being at a doctor's office would be better. my boss was a raging racist who treated he staff of black workers like shit.

i was listening to Love by Namjoon everyday just letting the vibes heal me. i was so happy getting off work to listen to that particular song. i started to learn korean. i actually googled it and came across this huge youtuber who learned korean on her own and now lives in south korea. she talked about language school and a light bulb went off in my head. i was like, that's an option? this can be more than a hobby of mine to destress? because i love learning and i love learning how to communicate with others.

i quit my medical assistant job and gave up on being a doctor. after nearly over 2 decades of wanting it so bad. i kept getting blocked from it. and today i realized why. because it wasn't meant for me.

i finally understand the phrase "god (higher power of any sort) closes a door to protect you"

i could be tens of thousands of dollars in debt right now if i went to school to be a doctor. hundreds of thousands of dollars in fact. i'm not. i'm debt free at 31. not a lot of 90s babies can say that. and that makes me feel so lucky and grateful.

i suffer severe depression. i thought not getting to go to college was the worst thing that ever happened to me. turns out it was a blessing in disguise.

i now have new goals that make my heart actually happier. all thanks to BTS. to Namjoon's wordplay in Love. his vlog to ARMY about how our feelings and anger matter.

i'm so incredibly grateful for BTS being in my life. they helped me come to terms with the military trauma i suffered being in the usa air force as a teenager. i was just burying it and seeing them have to enlist gave me the courage to process my grief of being 19 and starting my hellish process of getting enlisted.

on good days or reflective days i do think everything happens for a reason. i mean, during my gratitude journaling i smile to myself thinking, all this pain in my life, all that grief, led me to 7 men in BTS and they make me so happy.

i took my first solo vacation to see Yoongi in concert at 31! the most ghetto stadium i s2g on the whole tour list, but i got to go! and i saw Jimin too! like i'm so incredibly proud of myself for traveling from georgia to new jersey by myself. i didn't think i could do it and i did!

i just wish them all the happiness and comfort in the world. they have given me so much! so much! i am forever thankful they stayed together and stayed in this music industry because i got to meet them.

and it's so wild because a lot of our last 10 years crossed at so many points and i'm like, wow, is this fate? was all this meant to be? it's weird sometimes looking back on this last decade. like i have minor ocd, and i avoided purple like the plague. and now? i have purple everything! purple and pink! i'm like, this is huge for me ok. they have just helped me so much.

i love them and i wish them all the love in the world. thank you BTS for making my life so much more filling. y'all gave me a new reason to live. i'm forever thankful.

borahae!

[inactive-luv]

Normal

normal

normal

TW: depression, gender dun dUN DUN

word count: 2216

a/n: i’ve got a lot more gender neutral Spencer Reid fics loading :P

(Spencer's POV)

On a normal day, I would set my alarm for five in the morning and wake up slowly. I'd pour a cup of coffee and make myself some toast. I take a shower and brush my teeth and maybe listen to an audiobook on my way to work. I got this recommendation from Garcia, Ready Player One. I listened to the narrator's voice at a pace 'normal' people would read.

A part of me always felt self-conscious about myself, how I was different compared to everyone else. My mom called me special but that just made things worse. Special still sounds like there was something wrong with me. And that was just my I.Q, later on, I constantly got made fun of for the way I dressed, how I wasn't 'normal' enough. Never 'masculine' enough.

I haven't had a normal day in months. I started to wake up naturally around three am, if I ever slept. My thoughts kept me awake, thinking about the insults and taunts I got. I lay in bed most days. I told Hotch I was sick and stayed in a comatose state for most of the day. I would stare at the ceiling and wonder about myself.

I couldn't do anything. I couldn't eat, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't use the bathroom. The thought of having to stand up in front of the toilet. Washing my hands in a men's restroom, everything just made me sick. I hadn't gone to work in a week. It sounds odd but I didn't feel safe there. Work used to be where I could concentrate and use my abilities to my advantage, I watched and analyzed people's emotions for a living but now, it became so hard to think about myself.

I felt exposed in the workplace, at home I felt more comfortable using my own bathroom and I could wear my own clothes. I felt like someone else in the bullpen, someone different. Having to hear my name makes me feel imaginary. I didn't feel real in my body.

Getting out of bed this morning exhausted me. I dragged my feet across the wood and looked down at my sweater. The temperature in my house was always hot, something with the thermostat, but I couldn't stand looking at my own skin. I wore a thick sweater and a robe on top of it, long pajama pants and big socks. I knew I had to take off these clothes if I wanted to go to work today. I really did, I missed my friends, I missed having to do something.

Having a purpose meant a lot to me. I lost sight of what I was meant to do with my life, I would just mope around my apartment without doing anything and I still felt exhausted. I hated being here, I needed to do something. I couldn't just stay here for the rest of my life. I so desperately wanted my normal life again, but I couldn't even think about stepping outside my house.

I hate thinking about having to do normal things. I hated using public restrooms and wearing my normal clothes. Life becomes meaningless if you can't even look at yourself in the mirror.

A while back I put towels over all of my mirrors, this morning I lifted the one in my bedroom. I looked at myself for the first time in a long time. I looked at my eyes, the bags underneath them screamed tired and disgusting. My whole face looked blue and purple. I saw the veins in my neck, and when I touched them I winced.

Taking a deep breath, I started to remove the robe in front of me. I watched the fabric fall to the floor when I felt the ends of my sweater. A burst of energy filled my gut and flooded through my veins, causing me to haphazardly lift the shirt fully over my head and shimmied my pants off. I felt angry. Angry at myself for not being able to do the easiest things. And sad watching my body shake and my skin crawl.

I forced myself to stare at my chest. I stared long and hard at the flat shape and bare skin. I started to run my hand over my abdomen and I could feel my ribs protrude out of my skin. Tears started to fill my eyes when I glazed over my underwear. I could see the outline of my legs and the thought of what was between them made me sick. I felt like throwing up.

I rushed to the bathroom and clutched at the sides of the toilet. I quickly thought about all of the germs and bacteria and immediately lunged away from the seat. I washed my hands five or six times until my skin curled underneath the stream. I splashed the water on my face and began to sob. I ran my hands over my face and my eyes tinged from the tears.

When my hands roamed their way back to my chest I fell to the floor in a mixture of emotions. I felt depressed, gross, I felt cheated in my own flesh and blood. I felt contained to the bottom of my bathroom sink. The tears relaxed and I started to slowly lift myself off of the cold tile.

I wobbled back to my bedroom and tried to open my drawers. I reached for a dotted shirt and slowly buttoned the clothes on myself. With each button, I sniffed and let out a heavy sigh. I wanted to change my underwear but every time I slid my fingers past the waistband I cringed. I couldn't bring myself to look past my abdomen.

I just tried to pull on a pair of work pants without my eyes and slide a brown belt through the loops. I stared at myself in the dresser mirror and reached for another layer to put on over my body, a brown cardigan. I wanted to smile. I tried to force the corners of my lips to move upward but they only drooped a little lower. I swallowed my tongue and went to get my coat.

...

I walked into the lobby and saw people walking throughout the halls, I felt so out of place. I slowly slumped up to the elevator and pressed the button. It was halfway through the workday, a little after lunch. It was raining so hard outside I could hear it through the elevator walls, I heard the pat pat pat just outside the floors and I started to feel thirsty. I hadn't drunk much water in public because I didn't want to have to use a public bathroom. It wasn't a problem until one day I had to be sent to the emergency room.

I got nervous as the elevator doors began to open. I lifted my head and was relieved not to meet anyone as I stepped out. A sore feeling manifesting itself in my throat. I look up to see everyone in the conference room. I barely catch Rossi's eye when I start to walk up to the bullpen. Soon I can feel everyone's eyes on my back when I rest my bag on the edge of my seat.

J.J. walks out of the room to wave me over. I watch her walk back into the room, I look at her heels and her pretty blouse. I think back to what I'm wearing and feel gross. Why do I keep stressing about these sorts of things? Morgan doesn't worry about how he's dressed. Hotch doesn't care about shoes or what he has to wear. Rossi was the one who probably cared the most and even he didn't notice the things I do.

I rush up the stairs noticing how everyone is waiting on me. My pace slows down as I get closer and closer to the threshold of the conference room. "Hey, pretty boy's here!" I clench my jaw at the sound of that nickname. My stomach turns inside out and I think about just running out of the room and heading back home, or anywhere but here. "Why don't you sit down we were just starting." Garcia tries to talk to me in her sweet voice. I missed her so much, I missed everyone.

"No thank you," I whisper. I hadn't spoken words out loud in a long time. I don't talk to myself and I hadn't seen anyone else in days. I clear my throat gaining a sliver of strength from the anger in my gut. "No thank you I," I start stronger before pausing mournfully again, "I think I need to say a few things before I come back, officially. C- can you all please sit down." I choke in my breath and all of their faces turn worried when they look at me.

"Uhm, I know I haven't been here in a while but uhm," I turn my head to the floor, "I want to be able to come back, I do, and I uh," It gets really hard to talk without tearing up. I swallow hard when J.J tries to pat my arm, I don't mean to but I flinch and try to push her hand away. "I can't come back until," I'm afraid I'll start hyperventilating, "God I'm sorry." I move my hands up to my face and wipe away a few tears before swallowing and whispering again. "I can't come back until I figure out what's wrong with me."

"Kid there's nothing wrong with you-" "Yes there is! I- I- I can't sleep! I can't get dressed by myself! I can't even use the bathroom without feeling sick!" The words pool out of my mouth in a harsh tone and J.J. steps back when I flail my arms, "I can't look at myself in the mirror," Tears stream down my cheek when I turn my face around the room. "I need things to be different around here." Even Hotch's expression turns saddened and weak.

"I-" I choke and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. " I hate the name 'pretty boy'." I try to turn my eyes from Derek who's leaned over to see my expression, "I hate being referred to as 'Sir' or 'Mr.'" I bite my quivering top lip and draw my eyes back to the floor. "I hate hearing," I pause and clear my throat again thinking it would help stop my cracking voice, "he did this or it was him who," I sniff looking at Garcia whose eyes are also filled with tears.

"I'm not comfortable," I whisper and Emily gapes her mouth as if to say something then closes it rubbing her nose instead. "I haven't been comfortable for a long time. I don't know what I am anymore." The word 'what' sticks in the air for a minute before J.J. tries to pat my arm again and I let her. She eases in to hold me and I shut my eyes to stop sobbing.

"I- I- need," I start before shaking my head, "I'd like people to treat me differently." I furrow my brow thinking what to say next, "I looked online," I wipe my face again trying to slide J.J away from me, "and all the labels really scared me but uhm," I pause again "I think I'd like to try something I've been pushing down for a while." Rossi nods his head.

I feel awkward standing in front of all of these people, my friends. Years ago I could trust them with my life but now I felt so exposed and broken. I was scared of how they were going to react, I felt like screaming in my stance and running out of the room crying. I muttered out the first words before shaking my head and trying again. "I think," I clear my throat again, "I want to try different," I look at the group, averting my eyes off the floor while the edges of my lips curl into a saddened smile, before whispering the last word, "Pronouns."

I see Emily mutter a small "Oh," and Morgan's face turns confused. I slump into a hunched position and continue to cry softly when people start nodding their heads looking up at me. "Well," Hotch starts and people start to look at him. "I think that what you're asking for is," He pauses looking to the group then back at me.

"Perfectly reasonable and we will do or call you whatever you want" They all nod and mutter incoherent words. "Yes, yes of course we can." Garcia stammers wiping tears from her eyes looking at me from across the room. "What, uhm what would you like?" She asks rubbing her hands together, "To, you know," she shakes her hands before wiping more tears from her face.

I smile for the first time in weeks. It's not a toothy smile or a cheek to cheek grin but, it makes me feel safe knowing I can still do the things I used to. Come into work and smile. I catch my sighs and draw in a deep breath before looking at Garcia, "They/them." And the rest of the team smiles too.

...

[bts5sosempire]

Goodbye Yoongi

A/n: let me feed some angst here.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Words: 1,244

Genre: Angst

Summary: Finding an out of the relationship seems harder than you would think, but it's for the best. To save yourself from further heartache.

. . . . .

You were far from being pissed off, in fact, you were angry. Angry and upset to be precise. You don't know when this relationship had failed. You don't know what went wrong. You don't know why you try so hard to keep feeding yourself to the fire.

And that fire is Min Yoongi.

“Enough.” You said, your voice calm as your face void of any emotions. It didn't match up. As he tries to grab your arm, you yanked it away from his hold.

“Don't touch me.” You said, walking past him to the once shared bedroom.

This is the first time Yoongi had seen you this upset. He didn't know it would affect you this much. Even if he's able to read your emotions quite well, this is the first time he feels you treated him like a stranger and now, you are being very mysterious and unreadable. But the only thing he's able to pick up from you is anger and betrayal.

Hearing something shatters in the bedroom, he quickly run and slam the door open to find you hunched over picking up a picture frame and glass shard. He remembers the silver frame very well, it was a photo of him and you a year ago, the picture of your four year wedding anniversary.

He sees you already dress up from head to toe, suitcase open and half of your clothes are already there.

The panic rise in him. The mood and tension in the bedroom are heavier than the one in the living room. Yoongi saw you walk over the garbage can and dump the glass shard along with the picture frame.

“What are you doing?” He slightly moves you out of the way and bends over the garbage can to pick out the picture frame.

“What am I doing? I'm doing you a favor by throwing it away, like how you threw away our relationship. So why are you still holding onto a picture frame that doesn't seem to hold any values to you anymore?” Shoving pass him, you put more clothes in your suitcase and close it shut before zipping it up.

Yoongi grabs the picture frame back and put it back on the night table. “You're not leaving me.” He spins you around to face him, as he grabs both of your forearms.

“Too bad that I am, I can't stand staying under the same roof knowing that my husband had brought over a woman and slept with her countless time on the bed.” You speak with such monotone that Yoongi can't decipher if you are serious or not. But he knows that you are a person who's very truthful when it comes to giving opinions and answers.

“N-No you're joking…you're not leaving me alone. We made an oath!” Fear creeps into Yoongi's heart.

“The oath that you broke, not me Yoongi. And you're not the one who's controlling my fate, I do, and I'm tired of blaming myself for the being the bad person in this relationship when it's clearly you. So own up to your own sins Yoongi.” You shrugged off his hands on your forearms, “After all….you reap what you sow.” Turning away from him, you grab your suitcase off the bed and haul it behind you.

“N-No (Name) I begged you.” He stops in front of you. You try to shove him aside. Even with his thin body, he still manages to block you from leaving.

“I'm serious Yoongi, move out of the way!”

He refuses too.

“If you still love me then let me go!” you shouted at him, patience wearing thin on your sleeve.

“I just want you to love me, all I ever wanted and needed was you!” He shouted this time and you stop all struggle.

Clicking your tongue in disbelief, there was a twist of disgust filled you as tears welled up in your eyes. “Huh? I did, but you had no problem finding someone else to love you.” Your strong front start to crumble in front of him, as your voice waver. “You know, I used to think of how happy we would be, I always thought about the future and how we have kids and we both grow old….together, but now it's nothing more than just dust. So can you please just let me leave?” You were crying as Yoongi didn't move at all.

He feels all kinds of emotions rushing through him, all the conversations of the past and present came back to him like a bullet.

.

“Hey, what do you think if we kids of our own?” You ask, laying next to him with your head on his chest. You poke his cheek's in the process. Yoongi only looks down at you and he saw your adoring smile. He only boop your nose.

“It would be great to have our kids someday, but I want to focus on my career at the moment.”

“That's why I said ‘if’ Yoongi, I'll wait until you're ready. I know that you want to make our life better, but just don't push yourself too hard okay?”

•

“Boo!” Yoongi jumps a little and sees you appear next to him and kiss his jawline, before settling next to him. “How's your work coming along?” You lay your head in his shoulder and look out at the corner of your eyes. Yoongi hum before setting his head on top of yours.

“It's coming out great.” he replied.

“Can I listen to it? When you're done?” Yoongi grab your hand and bring it up to his lips to kiss it.

“You can listen to a track I've made in progress.” he suggested and you suddenly look at him with a pure look of happiness in your eyes.

“Really? Then hand it over!”

Yoongi hands you his earphone and you gladly take it from him. You waited for a few seconds and you hear the soft sounds before beats were added. There were some vocals slowly singing into it, and it was Jungkook voice. As the song progress on, there were Jimin and Taehyung combining their voice together in the background, and Namjoon rapping a few lines then J-Hope. There was a sudden pause. “Why did you pause it?”

“If I go any further, you would have wanted me to play you the whole song instead.”

“No! I wouldn't!”

“You always say that.”

•

“Happy Birthday Yoongi!” you and the boys surprise him as soon as he also inside his home. Yoongi looks a little surprise before it shifted into an annoyed one then a happy one. Talk about three mood swing in a matter of seconds.

He came over to you and give you a hug and a kiss to the temple. “Did you forget that your birthday is today?” He heard you ask.

“Quiet.” Yoongi said. You only laugh at his response. He did forget that today was his birthday. Yoongi went over to his brothers and give them friendly hugs. How touché of him.

.

Yoongi took a step towards you. You shook your head at him and walk around him, hauling your suitcase behind you.

Leaving was harder then you thought it would be. Each step you take to feel like you were stuck in mud or quicksand. Wiping away your tears, your sniffling can be heard in the quiet hallway.

And Yoongi just stays rooted on his spot.

This was the end of both your chapter.