#i appreciate all bday wishes! late or not lol :D

[crsentfairy]

I MISSED UR BDAY NOOOO SORRY THIS IS LATE AF BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY INDIE!!!!!

ITS OK!! thank you very much <33

[sgys-closed]

content creator year in review !

was tagged by my lovely moots ilyyyy <33 (@soonhoonsol  @sunnie-dk   @uriboogyu) 💌💖✨

p.s. most works are going to be linked on my old account since i remade ahah

first creation in 2020:

since i basically just started this blog this year as well lol. i remember clearly that i made my first gif which was a taegyu gif (that i deleted alr because i was cleaning my acc LMAO) but i kept this soogyu gif which is basically like one of the first creations i made in 2020.

most recent creation of 2020:

this two (1,2) beomie set T_T (i really am more dedicated in making gifs nowadays ahaha but i wish i could post a gfx before this year ends!)

one of your favorite creations from 2020:

OH! this HUG stickers for caratrevival! i just really enjoyed making this and its my fave entry for caratrevival and i remember saying i would start a “create your own merch agenda” i would probably start posting things like that again ahah!

a creation you’re really proud of:

again! the HUG STICKERS i mentioned above! i just really love the colors and gradients are always one of the hardest to play around with and so im glad it actually worked! also some of the illustrations are made by me :D!

a new style you tried this year and a work that uses it:

idk if its really a new style for me? but this jun edit for caratrevival as well but because this edit is heavily textured based i really had a hard time fitting elements that should and shouldn’t be in it? but nonetheless i love how it turned out!

a creation that took you forever:

aaaaaaaaaa this!!! this!! THE8 FAN MAGAZINE! i also posted it late it was supposed to be for his bday but i was late lmao becauseeeee i had a hard time conceptualizing this magazine jsdhhfds i really want every pages of this magazine to have meanings and meta as possible. i collected every the8 images that i can work with. but now that i have everything i suddenly can’t work LOL?!?! plus the JUN EDIT! as well like i said the textures are just so hard for me to make it work.

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes:

this seungkwan set in my prev acc! and ALSO! this seungkwan set on this acc aaaaaaaa ;-; pls give lots of love on my seungkwan set <3 it makes my heart warm <3

a creation you think deserved more notes:

looking back to my old acc i really think these works deserves more notes (hug stickers, jun edit and especially the8 fan magazine) hahaha like if you’ve noticed these are the works i kept mentioning above! and also this dino edit aaaa ;-; im not usually proud of my graphics but these works of mine is surely i can be proud of! but if we are talking about a simple gif this beomgyu set i just really think he’s beautiful in this lmaojdshfjhdg and i like my coloring here! plus this svtxt crossover edit which i really enjoyed making and its a request!! 

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it:

i honestly haven’t done anything from other fandoms but i could try especially for tbz!! their music videos and generation z introduction wow my mind wentttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a creation you made that breaks your heart:

not really “break” but it makes my heart warm. the countdown set i made for soobin’s day (1, 2, 3, 4) and also this inside seventeen set where seungkwan is just giving some love to his members ;-; <3 (i love my boys 😔💖)

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love:

THIS  scoups edit for caratrevival! it’s simple for me in a sense that i just worked with pictures + borders + text and shapes and thats it! and also this bday post for soobin day!  just did the same method :D

a creation that was inspired by another one:

i always get my inspiration from behance! this is my board and everytime i get stuck i always look into this and try to conceptualize something on my own!

a favorite creation created by someone else:

oh boy! i have lots like i try my best to make a comprehensive comments sometimes on someone’s creation but i just end screaming on the tags sdjhfjfhds plsss shout out to all content creators out there! what you put up is highly appreciated and keep sharing your works!!! 

some of your favorite content creators from the year (tag you’re it! IF YOU’VE ALREADY DONE THIS im so sorry but im tagging u again just because i want u to know that i very much appreciate u):

@kyeomshine @soonhoonsol @softhyungkyun @iiasha @beomgyung @soobeannie @uriboogyu @smallkore @ajusnice @sunnie-dk @delicatecy @yeonbins @txtify @joshuahong @defgyus @myunqho @xuseokgyu @jonghan @umaio @woneko (these are just the few! BUT I HOPE ALL MY MUTUALS KNOW THAT I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR WORKS YES? YES!!!)

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: 

pls give these more lots of love pls!

seungkwan my my set (1 & 2)

txt sherlock set (which i really am proud as well for txt they killed this!)

soogyu ‘hug’ set (i really love how this stage gif turned out bec i barely gif stages) (1 & 2)

FEAR SEUNGKWAN (do i need to say more)

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

NEVER WAS THERE A TALE OF MORE WOE, THAN THAT OF OUR JEANNE AND FANGDADDIO 😭😭😭

But alas, I will relay what I read back in the day to the best of my abilities! Spoilers for the end of Jeanne’s route under the cut, rated E (for everyone) for maximum uwus (and M for angst bc F U C K):

Okay so basically Jeanne’s route goes a lot like most of the routes, and when MC gets attacked (by the rival vampire turned by Vlad) our eyepatched wonder is not happy about it. He storms over to Comte’s room and demands to have his questions answered. Comte notes how deathly serious he is and breezes past the enmity, telling him to go ahead and ask whatever he needs to. Jeanne threatens to kill Comte if it turns out that he’s lying about anything from this point forward. To which Comte (being a little shit), replies that he literally can’t die so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Jeanne tells him he doesn’t care what it takes; he’ll rend him apart to the tiniest shred over and over and over again--even if it takes them both to the other side to accomplish it. Comte concedes and says “very well; if I lie, you’re welcome to try.” Jeanne finally asks if Comte has made a revival pact with anyone new. Comte is genuinely confused and confesses that he hasn’t--that he has no idea who Jeanne is talking about. “What ‘comrade in arms’???” Jeanne seems to sense that Comte is responding in earnest (but is also confused bc like, then who the fuck else turned the guy??? WHO IS THE THREAT I MUST STAB)

Jeanne admits that MC was attacked and you can feel the change in gravity in milliseconds. Comte starts asking where she is and if she’s okay, and Jeanne explains that she’s still in the mansion and she’s fine. Jeanne then asks if Shakespeare has the ability to turn people like he does, and Comte is bewildered to put it mildly. He’s like ??????? Where is this coming from, of course he doesn’t???? I turned him myself, he’s a lesser vampire--he doesn’t have that ability???? In a moment of sheer livid impatience, Jeanne grabs Comte by the lapels and screams “Then who can!?!?!?!” Comte stares at him and admits that there are only two people that he is aware of who can accomplish such a thing, himself and someone else. They hear a loud crash and they run to the dining room, only to find a window smashed, Mozart wounded, and MC gone. Comte’s furious sprite appears, and he asks Jeanne to look after MC, he has something to take care of. Isaac asks him where on earth he’s going, and he reveals that he’s going to Will’s house before storming out.

Poor Shakespeare faces the brunt of Comte’s rage--though I get the feeling, knowing now that Shakespeare is Vlad’s puppet--that the threat was meant more for Vlad than for Shakey boy. Comte goes to Shakey’s place and Shakespeare offers to put on tea or wine, says it’s strange for him to appear so late. Comte tells him not to bother, since he isn’t here to exchange pleasantries. Shakespeare seems p shocked given Comte isn’t usually one to be so direct or terse, and when Comte walks in he backs Shakespeare into the wall step. By step. By step. He asks him if he was involved in the harm done to MC, and Shakespeare’s like “Yeah lol what’s it to you.” And when their shoes are nearly touching, Comte grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground. He tells Shakespeare that if this goes on, he won’t show any mercy: "To those that would harm a single member of my house, I will hunt them to the ends of the earth. To the very depths of hell." The narration notes that he lets go of whatever dampens his pureblood aura and nearly suffocates Shakespeare with his raw intensity and power, before putting him down again and saying “That’s all I have to say. I have no more questions for you.” Comte walks right back out, slamming the door while Shakespeare is on the floor coughing. 

So, needless to say, things are hella rocky between Comte and Jeanne throughout the better part of the route. But given the odd dichotomy of Comte’s reactions (his complete acceptance of Jeanne’s fury versus his own anger being directed at Vlad), it definitely felt like there was more there. Everything finally comes full circle at the end when Comte gathers everyone inside the dining room to explain precisely what happened (Vlad, etc. I’m assuming) and asks everyone to take proper precautions moving forward: "I'll take steps to make sure this never happens again. But if we are faced with a similar situation, know that I am prepared to protect you all with every fiber of my being." He deems secrecy a moot point given this incident, and just wants everyone to be safe and ask for help should they need it in the future. 

MC notes that he doesn’t have his usual placid demeanor; he’s incredibly serious and grave. She’s like “Oh boy some serious shit went down huh...but if anything, I feel like it’s only made us have more faith in his ability to protect us c:” AND HERE IS WHERE THE BIG HURT HAPPENS KIDS GET YOUR TISSUES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jeanne: "...Alright. I will trust in your words. But can I ask just one thing?” Comte: “Yes, Jeanne?” Jeanne: "You know I always hated you, I truly believed you revived me against my will for a long time." Comte just sorta deflates, but he doesn’t say anything (MY POOR BABIE) Jeanne: "But, is that really the case? Did I want to live on, away from that pyre...?" [There was a long silence.] Comte: “...That day, when I appeared, you screamed desperately 'Why must I die here. Whether it be God or the devil, someone make use of me!'” Important note: Jeanne tells MC that he is able to recall thinking that, but he has no acute recollection of saying it; this is the moment at which he lost consciousness. MC: [;-; No matter how hard he tried to stifle it, it (his deep wish to live) came out all the same...] I wasn’t able to transcribe it, but Comte essentially tells him that he tried to ask Jeanne, but he was already barely hanging on--there was no way he could get a proper answer. (This is highly plausible given we know that Jeanne was incarcerated by the Inquisition, tortured, and starved before he was tied to that pyre--it was a miracle he lasted that long. He didn’t even have the strength to move/struggle from where he was tied). Comte goes on to say that Jeanne was pissed to shit when he woke up and there was little he could do to alleviate that (I mean given he was waiting for the sweet release of death it makes sense but also N O ;-;). For a while Jeanne just stares at him before asking: Jeanne: “...Why? Why didn’t you tell me after all this time?” Comte: "Because I thought it was okay if you berated me a little." Jeanne (vine voice: AMERICA EXPLAIN): ?????????? Comte: "Despite being alive...you looked dead to the world ever since the day we met. No matter how hard I tried or whatever I did, I couldn't seem to change that. But...the only emotion I seemed to be able to draw out of you was hate. If hatred was the only thing that could move you, I figured I'd take on that role. Better to see you express something than to see you lifeless beyond any glimmer of hope or change." Jeanne: "Why....why would you go that far?? Why did you bother? I don't...understand" BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE AND HE LOVES YOU I’M SOBBING ALL OVER AGAIN OKAY DEEP BREATHS THE SHOW MUST GO ON MINNIE Comte: "Because I'm the one that revived you...because to me, you're all my precious family." Jeanne: "...............................................................I...I'm sorry" AND JEANNE HANGS HIS HEAD WAAAAAAAAAAAH Comte’s brows rise: “...Jeanne?” Jeanne: "I know an apology doesn't forgive everything I did/said. But I don't know how else to make amends"

It goes on to show them all making amends, and while Jeanne can sometimes be like “ughghhghgh d a d stop nagging I’m fINE” he secretly really loves the guy. In Jeanne’s third bday story he’s literally like [Comte’s a weirdo but I see now that that's just how he cares abt me. He's not just worldly, he's a good guy. c: I just don’t care abt whatever he’s going on abt rn]

So like full disclosure before Jeanne’s route I still loved Comte but I really didn’t know much about him beyond the “eccentric nobleman persona.” Granted we definitely get glimpses into who he really is, but this was a sizeable breakthrough. (And probably a strong allusion to the release of Comte’s MS soon after.) That being said, there were so many things said here that just absolutely shattered my heart. 

Because here’s the thing. I have no qualms with Comte’s wish to be a dad--or even to revive the men, for that matter. If it makes him happy and he intends to take care of them reasonably well, then who am I to criticize him? (Fun fact: Leonardo essentially says the same exact thing; he’s more against it than I am because of the whole turning humans, but he doesn’t necessarily vilify Comte because he knows his intentions are good. And if everyone’s happy with it, what can he say?) But the fact that Comte handles their issues with so much patience and maturity...I’m in love???? There is sincerely nothing sexier than this for me. He’s fully aware that Jeanne was treated like absolute shit by the people he tried to protect, that he never really got to live for himself a single day in his life--never knew a moment’s peace, joy, or appreciation. He tries everything he can think of to get Jeanne to maybe not hate being alive as much, but fails at every turn. He still refuses to give up on the guy despite the less than ideal state of things, and decides that if Jeanne needs an enemy to survive--he will be that enemy. He doesn’t care that the guy he’s trying to help would skewer him the second he had his back turned (Jeanne pls this was a new suit couldn’t this wait). He takes full responsibility for deciding to turn him; knows that since he erred on the side of caution, it’s up to him to offer a life that’s worth keeping/staying alive for. He doesn’t belittle Jeanne’s plight for a moment, never deems him stupid or shortsighted. He’s able to understand that in the wake of so much pain and loss, of course Jeanne might not notice the finer points of Comte’s attempts to cheer him up. Even if it pains him to be on negative terms (HE LOVES HIS BOY HE DOESN’T WANT TO FIGHT) he will fully accept it if it brings Jeanne peace, if it helps Jeanne get to a place where he can begin to accept the affection he wants to offer.

And THAT’S what kills me, kids. Four hundred years, and Comte fucking LEARNED something. He is perceptive to uncanny degrees, and never fails to read a room in milliseconds; not only does he pick up on how people feel, he responds with appropriate, gentle measures. What I love so much about Comte is that he knows full well that genius does not come without its price. You could be the smartest person on earth, the most talented, whatever you choose to call it, but it will invite no shortage of hatred from other people, no shortage of misunderstanding and disdain and violence. If people don’t go mad with power, they are destroyed by the very places that birthed them. As such, the last thing he wants to do is put them under more pressure, or force them to do things against their will; he just wants to give them a chance to live beyond such fickle and hostile circumstances. And he takes this seriously, this isn’t remotely a whim for him despite all evidence to the contrary. He gets that healing takes time, and as much as he wants everyone to be happy he’s more than willing to give them space/resources to figure it out. Like. He is the father everybody DREAMS they had (if they didn’t already have a good one) and the fact that I can’t tell him what a wonderful job he’s doing is killing me on all levels INCLUDING physical.

And I just?????? Jeanne’s palpable remorse when he finds out????? And Comte’s surprise???????? Like Comte wasn’t necessarily expecting that level of apology, he knew he was taking a gamble and he was ready to do whatever he had to, he wasn’t intending to hold it against his boy. But Jeanne just has such a tender and well-meaning heart (no matter how much he struggles to express it) that regret was inevitable. There’s just so much love in that moment, in Comte’s capacity to forgive and take on so much of poor Jeanne’s unhappiness, and Jeanne’s fully ability to admit he was misguided, lower his head, and apologize. THEY JUST GET ME BLUBBERING LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD OKAY THEY ARE BOTH SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I HURT

Tl;dr: JEANNE’S ROUTE SHOT ME FORTY-SEVEN TIMES IN THE CHEST AND LEFT ME PINING FOR COMTE MORE THAN EVER BEFORE OTL

Also a bonus, because it only just occurred to me (spoilers from the end of Comte’s route):

THEY HAVE A LEGIT REVERSAL AT THE END OF COMTE’S ROUTE???? Comte once again gathers everyone to reveal Vlad’s identity and intentions, and he apologizes for keeping it from everyone, lowering his head. He’s more than ready to face everyone’s ire for keeping secrets, but everyone’s just like “dad pls lift your head it’s okay, we’re just glad we can help you now--you don’t have to carry it all on your own.” AND IT IS IN FACT, JEANNE, THAT ALSO SAYS “No need to bow like that Comte, aren't you the one always saying we're family?" AND WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS IN A PUDDLE OF TEARS?????? I WILL NEVER BE OKAY. POOR COMTE WAS SO MOVED AND MY HEART CAN’T TAKE HAVING THIS KNOWLEDGE WHERE’S MY HANKIE. JEANNE. BEING THE ONE. TO SAY. “Aren’t we family?” WHEN HEARING HOW HARD COMTE WAS WORKING TO PROTECT THEM, BC HE 100% IDENTIFIES WITH THE STRUGGLE OF LOOKING AFTER PEOPLE THAT DON’T KNOW/CARE THAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS THE SACRIFICE FOR THEIR PEACE OF MIND. I--

WHAT IS IT THAT JEANNE AND COMTE SHARE TO THE CORE, SO MUCH THAT JEANNE WOULD NEED NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO CHANGE HIS MIND AFTER YEARS OF BITTER DISDAIN???????? THEIR CAPACITY FOR DEVOTION, THEIR EASY WILLINGNESS TO SACRIFICE ANYTHING TO PROTECT A LIFE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS EPIPHANY IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

I’m crying rn I just: Comte: !!!!!!! Somebody who gets it!!! :DDD Jeanne: die. Comte:  Comte: ;-; understandable have a nice day

[iwantkiwijuice]

In the darkest night hour, I'll search through the crowd

Was supposed to post this yesterday but I ended up just chionging work and left this as a draft lolol. Walking back to my room now at 4:37am and I’ve decided that I’m really a B student because I don’t want to try harder than this point HAHA.

I feel like it’s kind of a cliche thing for single people to be all like “omggg look at all these couples around” or make sarcastic comments about being single but I think valentine’s day is a really nice day? I feel like special people are allowed to feel extra special at least once a year, even if it’s on a fixed day. All the couples just drop whatever they have on at the moment and just appreciate each other? I think it’s really sweet haha.

Had lunch with Shan yesterday and I asked her about CS. We both agreed that sometimes, even if we feel like being attached, it’s mostly a selfish need of wanting someone around at our convenience and people like us should just remain single for now HAHA. We wrote cards together and Shan went to Jia’s room in NTU to paste them on her door. Sorry Jia our schedules just never align for us to even meet up LOL.

Bao and Tingz got me a really special present and it’s something that I’ve honestly thought a lot about getting. They got me an annual pass to the SEA aquarium hehe. Now everytime I feel like going I can. And that’s quite often lolol. Something about being near water and able to see the animals float by like clouds makes me super relaxed and self fulfilled.

We had some REALLY good kbbq omg I feel the need to bring people there to experience such good authentic affordable buffet. And speaking of korean food, Cini treated me to some today too for my bday haha. The pork belly was REALLY good it’s really one of the best I had. So much good food recently I feel like my face has bloated to twice the size. I will exercise during recess week!!!

Thanks for the treat Ciniiii. We haven’t been meeting much like we used to but I guess life gets in the way of everybody so I’m glad that when we do, everything feels the same haha.

The one small thing I like about being in aki is building models. I just really love crafts and making models is quite fun haha I like seeing how an idea manifests itself physically. It’s also super mindless so I can watch shows while doing and that’s kinda why staying late is easy? Because I don't really have to think about what I’m doing. It’s not good if I’m watching korean shows though because you need 100% concentration to watch them. I’m still stuck at episode 2 of both Goblin and Weightlifting fairy D:

There are two questions that keep coming up whenever me, bao and tingz try to answer life’s questions that I always have no answer to. One of it being “what is something that you regret the most” and the other being “what is your birthday wish” everytime I try to think of a regret, nothing big really comes to mind?? Sure, there are some small instances were I feel I could have done differently but not enough to make me want to turn my life back and change it. I really think things happen for a reason and since in that particular moment, I had no regrets, then it shouldn’t matter a few years down the road when it REALLY shouldn’t matter.

The second question may be because I’m such a passive and indecisive person because I really don’t know what I truly want? There are some material things that I wished I had but I really don’t need them or probably won’t use them after awhile. So there’s not really wish I have in mind specifically. Usually I just wish for myself and the people around me to be happy. (It’s been a few years of that alr so hopefully my wish came true each year haha)

Oh yeah me and Shan talked about how the odd number ages always feels older than the even ones??? Like being 30 feels younger than being 29? I feel EXTRA old being 23 and I feel like I’d rather be 24 years old lolol. Not really sure why

I’m almost back to PGP (it’s just a small stretch away) so I guess I’ll stop here HAHA. Time to sleep and wake up in time to watch Elsa’s and Cheekeng’s crit tmr at 830am. Hopefully I wake up lul.

[matsunjun]

My grandpa, cousins, and a cousin’s bf, spent a few days here, arriving at Friday night and leaving today, Monday afternoon. 

I was ecstatic because a week before, we were just with them for my grandpa’s surprise bday party. But as we were leaving to go home then, I found out that Aaron, my cousin, has vacation days in the next week. And so, that’s the reason why he came. Alyssa, the younger sister, didn’t have classes on Friday and skipped her class Monday just so she and her boyfriend could come along. My gramps wanted to come, too.

I had fun with them, spending late nights playing board games, playing video games, going out to places. We went to Queen Mary’s, art supply store, watched movies, ate out, and went to the beach. It was a few days thick with things to do and very little sleep, so I am still pretty worn out. 

I love my cousins so much (and my gramps!), and my feelings are reciprocated. I can tell they do love me and being around me as they always loved hanging out. 

Aaron has a nice, well-off job and always tries to pay for me, but I am like no no no. You’re my younger cousin, this is weird. lol. He likes hanging out with me and taking pics with me. He also tries to help me with driving because he knows I struggle with parking and whatnot. When I drove them to places locally, he was gentle as he taught me, and even told me I was doing good. ;_; He also didn’t mind driving to places that were further (because I couldn’t drive freeways lol). When I saw several scars on his wrist, I freaked out and hugged him. I didn’t know he went that far when he was in his dark place back then. I begged him never to do that again. Earlier today, I was pooped and fell asleep as they packed and were getting ready to leave. When grandpa woke me up because they were leaving, I asked Aaron if he has everything packed. He looked around the room and said he forgot something, and he reached down and tried to scoop me in his arms, princess-style lol. I told him I wish I could go with them. ;A;

Alyssa and I have been through a lot together, and she was my first best friend when I came here in America. We have a lot of inside jokes and we understand each other pretty well. She roomed with me these past few days, and we spent nights getting into deep conversations about life. She helped me with chores and got everyone hyped to go to the Art Supply Warehouse event (so waking up at 5am and ended up two people away from receiving the golden ticket because 1st 100 people get the goody bags, and we were 102-105 D;). When my younger brother broke out with this bad rash, she stayed up late with me trying to make him feel better and giving him some kind of treatment. I really appreciated that. Also, we were partners when my grandpa was being sexist and making us do chores because we were girls and letting the guys do nothing. Luckily, Aaron and Alyssa’s BF are polite and helpful, and helped with chores. I already miss them all.

The only thing I’m sad about was my grandpa. He didn’t get to come with us on our little excursions because the places we went to would have given him a lot of difficulty with walking. Queen Mary has a lot of walking and stairs, and so did the beach, because we went to shops and the pier also. And he told me as we left, “Thanks very few, because you didn’t tour me around,” and I know he was joking, but I felt bad all the same. I think he realized I was sad as they left because he gave me a hug, and he doesn’t usually give hugs nor does he initiate them. My gramps, we call him Dada, basically cleaned stuff, and was hall monitor lol. Though Dada can be a nag (i see where my mom and aunt got it from LOL), I enjoyed having him around. We don’t usually get to see him. He is also quite playful and always liked poking me and joking around.

Carlos, Alyssa’s bf was a surprise tbh, it wasn’t planned for him to tag along, but they asked me as they were on the way here if he could come too. I’ve liked him when I first met him, and I still like him now. He is polite, kind, and really easy to speak with. I hope he continues to be like that and that he always makes Alyssa happy.

Before they came, I was stressed and depressed, in addition to being sick. But during one of their stays, my condition got better, and I was so surprised and pleased. I wasn’t feeling well for a month, and it disappeared, just like that. I hope things go up from here, I really do. 

So anyways, I’m still tired from all the lack of sleep. So I will go back to sleep ~ GN.

[opepin]

march: week 4

20: lots of cramping and gas going on lol. well, i rushed in the morning because i stayed in bed 10 minutes after my alarm rang. then the red line had some delays, but i still got to work before 9:30 am, ahah. it was a pretty chill day in the office. i ate lunch at my desk because i had a call when everyone else was eating :< craii. i ordered daniel’s bday present and also managed to print out the amazon return label. i kind of lost fuel one hour before the day ended because of my stomach and cramps, but it’s okay! it happens, haha. i got home at like 5:30 pm and then snacked a bit before doing my 45 minute cardio workout. then i made rice and headed upstairs to shower. i had to bring all of my shower and skin care stuff to the bathroom x__x; it was a nice shower though because the shower head is 2x as strong as ours for some reason. hopefully, that gets fixed too.

kevin got back and we went ot bj’s to pick up croissants. he really wanted them. we devoured two on the way back and then he went to shower while i prepped the veggies. LOL and then i made a mistake where i threw out the white ends of the chives when i wasn’t supposed to and then i took them out of the garbage (was pretty clean) and washed them like 30x times. i was going to lie to kevin about them but then i broke down and told him what happened and he couldn’t stop laughing at me. if baby brain exists does period brain exist too? LOL. kevin finished cooking and then we ate and watched an episode of ‘how to get away with murder.’ then kevin washed the dishes and we headed up to brush our teeth. kevin gamed for the rest of the night and i laid in bed nursing another tension headache until i fell asleep at like 1 am.

21: i woke up with the tension in my neck and shoulder and our shower was still getting fixed so i worked from home. we woke up to the maintenance guys’ knock on the door and they said they would come back in an hour or so because we were still in bed. so then we slept for 30 minutes more and then went upstairs to brush our teeth. the wifi in the suite still didn’t work so kevin sent me the information while he commuted to work. we ate breakfast and then stopped by the front to sign a card and drop off some money for our maintenance and cleaning staff appreciation thingy. then i headed upstairs and changed and brought my stuff to the suite to work. i recorded some videos and then caught up with phil. i got the ‘ok’ to start implementing some of my changes. i’m so excited! then i ate lunch and looked at headsets. i realized that kien and haowei are getting pro gamer headsets LOL. cole suggested the arctis 5 and i might get it. we’ll see.

i went back down to the apartment and finished editing videos and ended my day with a call. then i washed dishes, put on rice, snacked on a croissant, and did an hour workout focusing on obliques. kevin came home a bit later than expected because he was working on a problem. i went to shower while kevin cooked dinner. he got really dried out and tired while cooking so he went to shower after cooking while i watched ‘reign’ and tried catching a good tapu koko. i’m hoping to catch a tapu every other time i game LOL. i didn’t catch one at the end of the day though. we ate and watched two? episodes of ‘how to get away with murder’ and then kevin washed dishes and then we brushed our teeth together upstairs. i finished watching ‘reign’ in bed and then went to sleep at 1:15 am? kevin stayed up debating stock market things or something ahah.

22: i actually didn’t need to rush in the morning. i got dressed before brushing my teeth because i had to go upstairs to the suite to brush my teeth and then ate breakfast and i was on the train at 8:34 am! i met sultan for the first time in person and met our new front end dev, joe today. it was a really quiet office -- only the marketing team and product team were in the office. it was a productive morning. i ordered the arctis 7 in white for my headset for work and then i worked on tutorials. everyone online was busy so i just worked and listened to music. the day went by pretty quickly. we scrambled at the end of the day because of an issue that we really needed to solve together. it was fun doing that and figuring it out. i left at like 5:15 pm after cleaning up things with phil for the client and then i met kevin at the train station :) he made it just in time to get on the train!

i told him about my day and when we got back, i watched ‘jane the virgin’ while trying to catch a good tapu koko. i was close twice but one wasn’t timid nature and the other didn’t have perfect speed :< my hand was cramping so i quit and i cleaned up the bathroom. kevin made stir fry potato slivers and braised chicken with mushrooms for dinner. mmm. the potatoes were hella spicy but when we put more salt, it tasted better. we watched 3 episodes? of ‘how to get away with murder.’ there’s so much sex this season .__. LOL but we’re getting to the good part now. we stopped so i could exercise. oh, our water pressure for the shower is perfect now! it’s waay stronger. kevin took a nice long shower and after my workout, i cleaned the kitchen. i got irritated at kevin for not vacuuming when i asked him to and when he did it, it was half-heartedly. :/ but he cooked today and he just showered so i just re-vacuumed spots and swiffered the floors before showering. i was still a bit irritated but it was dumb to get mad at him for it. so i waited for him to finish up gaming and then went to sleep when he did :)

23: i almost forgot my lunch today but i went back and got on the later train because the train just left as i got on the platform ;( i shared the weird tasting totaste green tea biscuits in the office and steve’s reaction was the best. everyone else said it was alright. diego surprised me and said it tasted like olive oil and he wasn’t disgusted at all. hmmm. oh, diego came into the office without me bothering him to come in :P yay! i was pretty productive today. i had a few long meetings, but it was alright. i ended my day with a meeting that kind of went over in time so i had to jump off, pack up, and then go to the chocolate shop with cole. i got chocolate covered gummy bears and dark chocolate peanut butter cups. cole bought the gummy bears for me because of all the snacks i’ve given him -- thanks bro! T^T i made it to south station 2 minutes later than kevin -- i broke my winning streak ;( ahaha.

we got home and played pokemon and cuddled and watched tv while the rice cooked. we made super easy omurice and then continued watching tv and gaming. mmm. it felt like a friday. we stopped at around 11 pm, kevin washed the dishes, and i did 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of back workout (15 minutes with dumb bells). idk if it’s gonna work because maybe the weights are too light? we’ll see. then i showered and ko’d in bed. mm i wish it was friday, but i’m also working from home tomorrow so nbd! i also caught a pretty good tapu koko! tapu lele is so hard to catch T^T my next challenge... p.s. i love talking and hanging out with everyone at t7. everyone is great and so funny. i’m so grateful.

24: my upper back was in so much pain when i woke up, ahha. kevin got up later than usual because i was still in bed (wfh). :) i got myself up eventually and then made breakfast and recorded videos. i also weighed myself in the morning and i don’t talk about this a lot but i’m so happy and proud of myself for pushing myself physically and getting to my body/health goals, BUT this morning i was 117/118 lbs and 19.7% body fat. yaaaasssss! my “previous goals” were to lose all the weight i gained (i was at like 130 lbs last year), and then get to 20% body fat. my now goal is to maintain this body fat or if i’m feeling bored, go further without changing my diet so it’s solely dependent on how hard i work out. it feels so good to eat whatever i want and stop when i know it’s too much and then work it off and get stronger. i’ve stopped being so dependent on calorie counting and just knowing what foods and portion sizes are good for me. i think i’m pretty close to having a good understanding of how much i should eat everyday and what it will do to my body. i’m getting there and i’m always learning about myself and about food of course ;D

anyway, then i ate lunch and ate some chocolate. mmm these dark chocolate peanut butter cups are the best. i talked to cole and dropped some food knowledge while he had some down time haha. phil told me to take the day easy after 3 pm because sultan and byron had off time today. so that’s what i did! i recorded 5 videos (record!) and then spent a good amount of time uploading pictures on facebook. i took a day off from exercising because my upper back was killing me. instead, i played pokemon for the rest of the day with kevin. we cuddled on the couch while watching tv and playing pokemon the rest of the night. we didn’t even cook dinner because kevin had happy hour and ate sliders and wings so i just baked some chicken nuggets. we took a break to shower and then play some more in bed and then went to sleep pretty late...like at 3:30 am or something...LOL

25: kevin woke up earlier than me and made breakfast. by “earlier” i mean like he woke up at 11 am and i got up at 1 pm LOL. it was a cloudy day so i didn’t feel like recording my 2min showcase... i skipped the meal because i felt full and we went to the movies to get tickets to see ‘logan.’ the 7:20 pm time was totally booked and same with ‘get out’ so we got tickets for ‘logan’ tomorrow at 7:20 pm. :) then we drove over to ‘oh my tea’ and i got the pudding, grass jelly, and boba milk tea drink (this is my second favorite drink there, especially for like a dessert kind of day) and kevin got the strawberry lemonade. i didn’t like his drink. Dx we devoured our drinks before we even got back home. well, kevin finished as we walked into the apartment... kevin tried making general tso’s chicken...it was a spicy af half failure -- tasted too salty and not sweet enough. the spice was too much as well...

while kevin did this, i nluu proofed our kitchen (haha i really enjoyed doing this). then i washed the fleece blankets. we ate, watched some tv, and then kevin left to go climb. i finished getting all of the pokemon in moon though!!! i just need kevin’s kartana -__-” so then i switched over to finally playing ‘bravely default.’ daniel got this game for me for my birthday like forever ago. it was hard getting into it but now i’m hooked. i watched ‘reign’ while playing this and then when kevin got back, we had a quick dinner and tv session and then i continued gaming. i stopped myself at 10 pm to do the intense 60 minute kickboxing video i found a week ago and then showered and continued gaming in bed until 3:30 am again LOL. omg, that work out killed me and reminded me that rest days should be light workout days and not “i’m not going to move anywhere for the whole day” days... the circulation in my legs and arms made me scratch everywhere and it was not pleasant but the work out felt good.

26: we woke up at 12 pm, kevin played pokemon and i played bravely default in bed until 1 pm, kevin made us breakfast, and i recorded my 2min showcase video. i hope it doesn’t turn out too bad? i don’t feel real motivated this week, but i’ll do my best to keep on schedule. then i did some internet errands, figured out our meals for this week, i started laundry, and then we went grocery shopping. we thought we were done early until kevin wanted to get fermented foods for congee and then we forgot to get vanilla mochi.... then we went in circles looking for chocolate syrup at rochebro’s and then we finally made it to bj’s where the express line was kinda long x__x; we made it back, put away all the food, transferred the wet clothing into the dryer, and then kevin realized we forgot to get garlic so he left to get garlic, i washed the dishes and prepped for dinner. luckily, the recipe was quick and we ate before heading out to see “logan.”

whyyyyyyyy?! i cried haha. it was a damn good movie and the little girl is a beast. <3 me and kevin had a semi-argument about character design for females vs male when it comes to “mutants” and things like that on the way back. i folded clothes when we got back, ate the mochi with some chocolate syrup, curled my hair, and then did the 45 minute cardio video. then i showered and brushed my teeth and got into bed. i stayed up until almost 2 am watching videos and waiting for kevin to finish watching the dota game. then kevin woke up at 2:30 am because he couldn’t sleep due to the fact that our upstairs neighbors were blasting music and talking loud af. kevin actually went upstairs and knocked on their door and no one answered... he also sent an email to deco to complain and then he fell asleep with earphones... i think he was listening to dota commentary LOLOL.